". . . with us, Mr. Halpert."

"Thank you, Mr. Truck. I appreciate you having me."

"That's what she said. Hello, new employee. Wow, look at you. I say, I say, boy, you cover about as much as a flapper's skirt in a high wind-"

"Michael, what have I told you about-"

"Oh come on, it was just a joke-"

"In my office, Michael. Now."

'Okay, fine. Gah-"

"Uh, nice to meet you."

And that was how he met Michael Gary Scott.

There was also . . .

". . . Lapin."

"Nice to meet you, Phyllis."

"And this is Stanley Hudson. Say 'hi', Stanley."

"Mm."

"Don't worry about him. He's just a big old teddy bear."

Jim nodded, gamely keeping a pleasant outward demeanor as the confusing aroma of . . .

What is that, cedar?

. . . a very specifically scented perfume wafted its way into his unassuming nasal passages.

"You okay, sweetie?"

Completely . . .

"Yeah. Yes."

I'm going to have to switch desks.

. . . against his will.

And then the older, matronly woman smiled.

Showing slightly magnified blue eyes.

You know what, . . .

"Good."

A warmly crooked smile.

"Welcome to Dunder Mifflin."

Reminding him distinctly of his favorite college English professor.

"Thanks."

. . . it's not that bad come to think of it.

"I appreciate that."

I think I'll stay right where I am.

"You need anything you just let me know."

"Alright."

Oh look, . . .

"Will do."

. . . there's Pam again.

". . . met Oscar?"

"Hi."

"Hi. So, you just move here?"

"Sort of. Just came back from college."

"Oh. Cool. Well, if you need a place to live, I'm, uh, I'm looking for a roommate."

"Oh. Thanks. I think I've got a place lined up I'm moving into next week. But I'll keep it in mind."

"Great, great."

"Well . . ."

"Well, gotta get back to work. See ya around the office. Uh, Jim."

Well, . . .

"Yeah, you too, Oscar."

. . . that was nice of him.

". . . met Pam?"

"Huh- oh, yeah. When I, uh, walked in."

"She's hot."

The rotund man seemed to be on the verge of breaking into a light sweat from the exertion of the conversation.

"Kevin! Inappropriate."

As he rolled his bulbous eyes at Jim.

"You're just jealous, Angela. Because Pam's hot and you're uptight."

The severe, petite blond looked across the desk and divider haughtily down her slender nose at the man that, in his mind, Jim couldn't stop replacing with the Kool-Aid Man.

"I am not uptight. I'm . . . principled. It's dignified. Some of us could use a little more principles these days."

"I never liked my principals. They were always up in my bidness. Phyllis, I can only imagine back in your day-"

"We were in high school at the same time, Michael."

Wow, is there, like, a boxing ring bell we can ring or-

"Really? But you're so old-"

Wow-

"Well, that was wild, huh?"

Jim nodded, attempting to take a moment to concentrate on his ham and cheese sandwich and block out the swirl of the day.

"Oh. Uh. Yeah-"

Only to be distracted by much older, bald man skirting his way through the kitchen . . .

"Hey, if anybody asks, the bathroom's never had any socket sets, okay?"

. . . in what Jim could describe Pink Panther slink.

"Creed, what are you-"

"You got my six, Gladys."

And then he was gone.

Jim and the red haired woman sat in thoughtful silence for a moment or two.

"I thought your name was Meredith."

Before Jim attempted to make regrouping small talk.

"It is."

Alrighty then.

Which seemed to have moderate success. . .

"So, you got any plans for Friday night? New in town, I could get a sitter for Jakie, show you around."

Uhhh . . .

"I think I'm helping my brother move."

"Seriously? You mean there's more of you?"

Pardon?

. . . depending on how you looked at it.

Five o'clock showed up right on time.

And he headed toward . . .

"So, big first day?"

. . . the coat rack.

"Yeah, yeah. Is it always like this around here?"

Which was incidentally right next to the receptionist's . . .

"Yeah, Pretty much. I think you met everyone in the office. Except Tom. And Toby. He's at a human resource seminar for dealing with challenging co-workers."

. . . desk.

"Oh, really? That sounds oddly specific. By the way, I was wondering if you-"

"Alright, I'm outie!"

Which would have been more enjoyable. . .

"Pam, how about you? Innie or outie? Let the mystery be solved, lift up that shirt!"

"Michael-"

. . . if everyone else . . .

"What? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Angela-"

"Not in a million years, Michael. Excuse me, Dwight."

"You are excused, Angela."

. . . showed up at the . . .

"Thank you, Dwight."

. . . very same . . .

"You're welcome, Angela."

. . . time.

Whew.