Pam was stunned. The burden and pressure of speaking was lifted, and her eyes were able to open after the weight that was forced upon them. She sat in her chair, shaking like an autumn leaf with her red hair covering her tensed shoulders. She felt air fill her lungs again, as she gasped with each breath. Her mind slowly pieced back her surroundings as her heart rate became consistent and her thought highway slowed to the speed limit. Jim had found a speed limit sign and stuck it into the ground, preventing an impending collision with the speed her thoughts were racing at.
That’s when she realized that he was reading. Her ears which were once filled with excruciating buzzes and echoes began to notice and take the comfort of Jim’s effortless tone. He was shifting his weight on his feet in between each vowel, his sneakers pressing into the floor. His eyes were glued to the paper but he had a calm that she couldn’t seem to finger. She felt selfish and guilty as she listened to him stumble over a few letters, her stomach clenched with apologies. His eyes flickered to her. His serene eyes had no anger, disgust, or disappointment. Instead, they were reassuring and cheerful. He seemed blissful at the opportunity to remove her from the situation, to give her a lifeboat.
His reaction to the situation puzzled her, the way he took the challenge with open arms and didn’t look back. He wasn’t scared, only content to help Pam and willing to take a chance.
Chances seemed to waver and be fleeting. They were unpredictable and unforgiving. Pam never found herself willing to jump into the ocean and see where the tide took her. She found herself fighting against the stubborn tide, too anxious to allow the chance to take its flow.
••
Jim really didn’t mind. Her mind taking refuge in the removal of words being expected of her was all that he was in need of to continue reading through the maze. The chance that he would slip up was high, but the chance that he would relieve Pam was even higher. Jim viewed chances as challenges to tackle and adventures to enjoy. He took them with open arms and jumped into them without touching the water to feel the temperature. He only checked that he brought his goggles which allowed him to see the situation clearly and refused to let anxiety and emotion cloud his views.
Pam noted his actions and let them replay in her mind, letting the memory play on speaker phone at the reception of her busy mind.
••
Helene was surprised at the way Pam took the sudden switch in stride, getting in the car at carpool, not in tears and shaky fingers that are unable to open the car door. Helene was prepared for a flight response to the situation especially considering all the changes and Pam’s infamous reaction to any change. She was quiet on the drive home until Helene let her curiosity prompt her.
“Pammy, how is the new teacher in your class? Are you getting along? Is she nice?”
“She’s scary, but it’s ok because Jim isn’t scared. Jim is super brave, so he said he has enough bravery to share it with me,” Pam answered innocently, putting emphasis on “super”.
Helene’s tight lips relaxed into a soft smile. She was really beginning to like this boy, Jim. She loved how much passion and excitement Pam had in her voice when she talked about him, which was usually soft and passive or not there at all.
••
School was still something that made her heart race increase with each mile they got closer and something that made her voice fail her. It was something that made her begin to sway back and forth to soothe the energy made in excess supply. Yet, I was also a place she felt less alone. It had the one person who understood and accepted. He never pushed her, but she encouraged her. He jumped on the swings with her, swinging as high as his tall legs could stretch him up to without any fear of falling. She mimicked his motion, trailing behind with tentative pumps of her legs allowing her to only reach half the height. Jim never became frustrated as she lagged behind, he never went behind her and pushed onto her back with his palms to force her into a faster-paced motion. He only grinned from ear to ear as he swung next to her, his eyes lighting up with the sun whenever she reached a little higher, even if it was a fourth of a centimeter.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Woah, a new chapter! I apologize all the mess ups in my story, I’m the only one proofreading so please don’t get fed up from it!
Chapter End Notes:
Hope y’all are enjoying it! :)
