“If you had asked Pam out before she got engaged, she probably would have said yes.” 

Jim didn’t even feel the blush that suddenly took over his entire body as he came to an abrupt halt in his fridge search for his snack. “Umm,” slowly straightening up, he raised a brow at Angela. She was sat at the table eating her carrots and hummus, her attention back on the article she was reading. “Sorry?” 

“Well it wouldn’t be right to do anything while she’s engaged, so you’re stuck with your silly game of Pam Pong.” 

“I uh-“ Jim hardly knew how to speak to Angela during a regular encounter, so this was truly… beyond his comprehension of Socialisation with Angela Martin. He went for the easiest part. “What’s, uh, what’s Pam Pong?”

Looking up from her article, Angela raised a brow at Jim. “Pam didn’t ever tell you? I count how many times you get up to go to talk to her at reception.”

“Umm… o-kay,” Jim released a half-breath, half-laugh and scratched the back of his head. That was mildly terrifying. 

“Did you know you make bigger sales after a high-stakes Pam Pong game?” Angela pointed a carrot at Jim. She skipped the part where Dwight made better sales after their own secret warehouse rendezvous. 

“I can’t say that I did.” 

Jim stood there having no clue what else to say. This was extremely weird. 

“You’re wasting electricity, Jim, shut the fridge door,” Angela pointed out. “Kevin took your sad little snack pack an hour ago.” 

“Oh.” Jim obliged and closed the door. Now he remembered why he spent so much at the vending machines. He decided to busy himself with making a coffee instead, because he wasn’t quite sure what Angela was trying to tell him, and he now felt extremely conscious of how many times he went to Pam’s desk. 

“Do you want a carrot?” Angela suddenly offered. 

Unsure of whether Angela had ever offered anyone anything in her entire life, Jim decided it was best to accept her offer. He sat down opposite her, elbows leaning on the table, and took a carrot. They sat silently as he crunched through the first carrot stick.

“So… did you slice these yourself or did you buy those little carrot batons in the store?” Jim asked, trying to break the silence.

Angela rolled her eyes. “Ugh, is this the kind of small talk you use to flirt with Pam? I guess only God knows why she finds you attractive.”

At this, Jim’s eyes went wide. “Pam fi-“

“I sliced them myself Jim, they’re just carrots,” Angela continued. “I’m not paying an extra dollar ninety-five for pre-sliced carrots.”

“Sorry, I was just… curious,” Jim munched contemplatively on his carrot. Was Angela’s statement factual or just a guess for her own entertainment? “About the carrots, that is.”

“Don’t lie, Jim, you prank too much for God to forgive you for lying,” Angela snapped. “I know you’re only curious because of Pam. I’m not stupid.”

“I didn’t say you were, sorry, I just…” Jim sighed. 

“It may be difficult to believe but I do notice things and talk to people in this office.” Angela rolled her eyes with such vigour Jim wondered if she was giving herself a headache from doing so. “And care. Sometimes.” 

Jim looked at Angela and smiled slightly. “I can believe that.” 

“When I told her about Pam Pong she was so mad at me, although all I’m doing is counting. It’s technically my job. But she won’t change her habits,” Angela explained, “and I doubt you will now that you have this information.” 

“Uh, I mean… probably not” Jim admits, though he secretly wishes Angela would evidence her statement of Pam finding him attractive. 

“I don’t think it was very nice of you to complain about Pam talking about her wedding at work.” Pausing, Angela put the lid back on her now empty box of Tupperware. She looked up at Jim briefly as the lid clicked firmly into place. “I don’t care for Pam talking about her wedding at work, but I think this is the only place Pam can talk about this stuff with people who care.” 

Pursing his lips, Jim nodded. It’s not like he hadn’t known she was having to do most of this on her own. And despite all of Pam’s problems, she had a right to be excited for her wedding day whether he liked it or not. 

“You should remember that Pam considers you her best friend,” Angela continued, standing up, “and that you had your chance to tell her how you feel, instead of flirting with an engaged woman, then getting upset that she’s getting married when you did nothing whatsoever to actually express an interest in her. Someone as blah as Pam isn’t going to risk her long-term relationship for some mediocre vegetable-themed flirting.” 

“It’s not just veg- no, whatever, she still had a boyfriend!” Jim tried to argue.

“I’m not saying she should have cheated on him to give it a go!” Angela rolled her eyes once more.  On a better day Jim thought he would have offered her some Tylenol and stuck googly eyes on the pack. “But you didn’t do anything when you had the chance, when she could have done something about it. Aside from your obvious flaws, you’re a good best friend for Pam.”

“Well, how would you feel if someone you liked was getting married and you had to watch it happen right in front of you?”

Angela’s eyes flickered briefly to the back of Dwight’s head through the glass panel in the door. Fair enough, she’d have prayed for her to fail miserably at being able to sexually satisfy the beet farmer in question, and lose all her teeth. Dwight liked a good set of teeth. 

“Fine, I wouldn’t like it,” Angela admitted, walking towards the door. “You should apologise to Pam. She’s allowed to be excited for her wedding. Even if it is to Roy.”

With a final almighty eye roll and a scoff, Angela left the kitchen. Jim watched after her for a moment and wondered if he should see how many more women from the office he could get to storm out of the kitchen in his presence. Maybe if he got a full house, it would be a good sign to accept Jan’s offer for the Stamford job.