The next two days whirled by in a blur of cute text messages, long dinners in secluded, dark restaurants, and an afternoon spent in the cinema. By the time Pam made it to class on Tuesday morning, she couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

"Hey," Pam breathlessly said as she took her seat next to her friend Kelly. She was a few minutes late for class, which was very unlike her but then again, she also wasn't the type to go for an hour's walk along the canal first thing in the morning. Jim had insisted on walking her to class as they sipped on hot drinks and Pam wasn't going to say no to that. After spending most of the weekend with him, she was not particularly looking forward to going to class and being apart from Jim, especially as he had to see some friends later that evening. But he'd promised her they could go for dinner the next day in this tiny little dive of a place he knew, so she giddily accepted and gave him a lingering kiss goodbye amid promises to call and message each other until their next date. 

She was happily pulling her laptop out of her bag when she realised Kelly hadn't acknowledged her presence. "I said hey," Pam repeated, looking at Kelly who was glued to her phone.

"Oh, hey," Kelly finally replied, still not taking her eyes off her screen. Pam rolled her eyes and fished around in her bag for her glasses. "Ewwww," Kelly screeched as quietly as she could, considering that the professor was talking.

"What?" Pam asked as she slipped her glasses on.

"Why would he go to such a gross place?" Kelly said to herself. 

Pam looked over at Kelly's screen and saw that she was looking at some Deuxmoi post. She rolled her eyes as she opened up her laptop, pulled up Google Docs, and began reading her notes from the previous class.

"Motherfu-" Kelly whisper-shrieked but was interrupted by the lecturer asking the class a question. 

"What?" Pam instinctively asked, before remembering that she didn't care about Kelly's gossip. Or whatever it was she was looking at.

"He's snogging someone!!" Kelly hissed, but Pam was already focused on what their lecturer was saying. "Omg the comments are saying she's a normie. How the hell did a normie pull him??" Kelly carried on jabbering to herself as Pam quickly typed down whatever the teacher was saying. "Pam, I said, can you believe that?" she said, elbowing Pam in her ribs.

"Ow! Kelly!" Pam glowered at Kelly. "What?" 

"Duncan Halpert! Look!" Kelly said, shoving her phone into Pam's face. 

As Pam scanned the photo in front of her, her stomach dropped, her mouth went dry and her pulse started racing. Her eyes darted from the top of Jim's head, down to where his eyes were closed, to the back of Pam's own head where his hand was cradling her. She skipped to the next photo and saw a similar sight, except this time, Jim's hand had dropped to her neck. The next photo, it was on her cheek. The next, back in her hair. Next, the same just a little higher. She scrolled until the photo pinged back on itself, signifying the end of the carousel. She stared at the photo, focusing on Jim's face. They weren't kissing anymore, but his forehead was resting on hers and he had a huge smile plastered on his face. 

Her eyes then darted to the small outline of a heart below the photos. 32.3k. Why had over thirty thousand people liked a picture of her and Jim kissing? Why were they even on a gossip page? "Wha-," Pam tried to speak but her throat was dry so she cleared it and tried again. "What are these photos?"

"Pam, are you kidding me? That's Duncan Halpert kissing some random girl. It's huge news!!" Kelly said in her quietest, but still most excited voice. She took in Pam's gobsmacked stare back at her. "You know, Duncan Halpert? Biggest singer in the world? Not to mention the hottest. And he's-," she carried on talking, oblivious to the fact Pam was no longer listening.

Instead, Pam was concentrating on the feeling that she'd lost her legs, that her stomach seemed to no longer exist, and that her head was spinning. Or was it the room? Either way, she felt dizzy and that she might fall over even though she was sitting down. She gripped the arm rests of the small wooden lecture chair and tried to make sense of everything. "I. How. Just," she mumbled to herself.

"You ok?" Kelly asked, nudging Pam in the ribs again. 

"I," Pam took a breath, not noticing the twinge that Kelly had caused in her side. She slammed her laptop closed, shoved it in her bag and went to stand up. "I've gotta go." She pushed past Kelly, tripping slightly over the bags on the floor. 

Kelly grabbed her arm, pulling Pam down. "Where are you going?" she hissed. 

"Is there a problem ladies?" the lecturer asked loudly from the front of the room. 

"Uh, no, no problem," Pam stammered, straightening up slightly. "Sorry, I have a family emergency," she lied as she hurried out of the row and headed to the door. 

-- 

Pam sat on a wall, banging her dangling feet against the red brick. She wasn't sure what to think anymore. Her thumb was tired from scrolling and her skin was sticky from the tears that had spilled down her cheeks as she found out more and more about Jim. Or Duncan. She wasn't even sure who he was anymore. 

A sold out European tour. Two platinum studio albums. Three number one singles. Countless magazine covers. And that was just in the last 18 months. Why wouldn't he tell her any of this? How had she not known all of this? He was clearly a big deal. 

And then it clicked. All the little dark hidden restaurants Jim/Duncan had taken her to. The way he always wore his baseball cap, even at dinner. Which seemed kinda rude now that she thought about it. The trip to the arthouse movie theater, which yesterday Pam had thought was so artsy and alternative and romantic, yet now she was realising was just a way for him to hide her away so no one would see them together. That really stung her. How could he already be embarrassed about her, they'd not even known each other for 72 hours.

The more she thought about it, the sicker Pam felt. Her cheeks felt like they were growing redder by the second. She touched her cold hands to her burning skin to try and cool herself down, but it didn't work. She peeled off her coat and sat in the cold London air in just her light sweater, wondering what to do next. Should she confront Jim/Duncan? Should she just block his number? Should she head back to class and speak to Kelly about it to find out more about Jim/Duncan? Don't be ridiculous, Pam thought to herself. Of all the options, that was definitely the worst one.

She looked down at her phone and found Jim/Duncan's number in her contacts list. Pam hovered her thumb over his entry, debating if she should call him or delete it. She took a deep breath and just before she made a movement, her phone started ringing. It was Jim. Or Duncan. Whatever his name was. Pam instinctively answered it. "Shit," she muttered to herself as she stared at the screen, but didn't bring it to her ear. 

"Hello?" came Jim's distant voice from the other end of the line. 

Pam panicked and quickly hit the red button. Her heart was beating so fast, her breaths shallow and quick. She looked down at her phone and it started to ring again. Jim. Well, Duncan. Again, she hit the red button, but this time, Pam turned the damn thing off. She threw her phone into her purse and felt sick. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe in as deeply as she could in an attempt to calm down. But it wasn't working.

She eased herself off of the wall, jumping onto the ground with a slight grunt, and grabbed her bag. Still taking measured breaths, Pam started to walk towards her bus stop, but then stopped in her tracks. She needed air, not the stuffy, smelly bus. She turned on the ball of her foot and started stomping in completely the opposite direction. The sight of the canal hit her and her stomach dropped again. The last thing she wanted to do was walk along the towpath where not an hour earlier, she and Jim had been canoodling their way along. She turned again and decided to walk the long way home. The really long way. 

She trudged down York Way, the smells of Nando's, the kebab shop and McDonald's hitting her in quick succession and making her feel even sicker. She held her purse tightly to her as she stood at the traffic lights, willing them to change to the green man faster. When eventually the signal changed, Pam stepped out into the road and weaved her way through the oncoming foot traffic from the other direction. She shuffled across the front of King's Cross station, dodging the fast walking business men, the lost tourists, and the beggars roaming about. She strode up Euston Road, doing her best not to think about Jim and instead gazed up at the architecture of St Pancras, the British Library and numerous faceless glass fronted buildings that lined the busy road. When she saw Euston station on the corner, Pam turned up Eversholt Street and plodded her way up to Camden. 

By the time that she reached Mornington Crescent, Pam was feeling a bit calmer. She walked up the high street and at The Old King's Head took a right into her street. She could see her building and her stomach tightened with the thought that in less than five minutes she'd be in the safety of her own room.

Madge and Lonnie were hanging out on the steps, smoking as usual. Pam offered them a half hearted smile as she walked past them and pushed on the heavy wooden door of the Halls of Residence. She prayed that she wouldn't bump into anyone as she walked up the vinyl tiled stairs to the second floor. She'd almost made it when she heard the unmistakable voice of Andy preceding him as usual. She quickly dug in her bag and pulled out her phone and pretended to be on a call. Andy eventually rounded the corner, his face falling when he saw Pam was otherwise occupied and instead tried to do a funny jump to try and block her way.

"Andy!!" Pam hissed and pointed to her phone. 

"Sorry," Andy said in a sing-song voice with a strange smile, before moving out of the way to let Pam carry on up the stairs. 

Pam kept her phone pressed to her ear until she finally reached her floor and then threw it back into her purse. She pulled the glass door open and it was like she'd been punched in the stomach. Sitting in front of her door with his head and elbows resting on his tented knees, was Jim.

Shit, Pam muttered to herself. She pulled her purse higher on her shoulder and held onto the straps tightly with both hands. She slowly walked towards her room not saying anything, but her footsteps on the black and white checkered floor alerted Jim to her presence. 

"Hey!" he smiled as he stood, stretching himself from his cocooned position. "I've been so worried about you. What's going on with your phone? It just keeps going to voicemail."

Pam took a deep breath, willing her voice not to be shaky. "How'd, uh," she coughed and tried again. "How'd you know where I live?" she asked. 

"I googled the halls for St Martins," he shrugged, "and then when I got here, this small blonde girl pointed me to your room." 

Pam rolled her eyes. Of course it was Angela that helped him, she thought. The only other person in the world apparently who doesn't know who Duncan Halpert is. 

"Well, um, you should call or text someone before you just turn up unannounced at their house," Pam said, not meeting his eyeline and conscious that her cheeks might be turning a deep shade of pink.

"Like I said," Jim laughed, "your phone kept going to voicemail. And last time I checked," he pulled his phone out and held up his messages screen to show Pam, "you haven't received any of my messages." He looked at the screen himself. "Nope. not delivered." He took in Pam nervously fidgeting with her necklace and still avoiding looking directly at him. "What's going on?" 

Pam didn't answer. Instead, she just opened up her purse and routed through it to look for her keys. Jim repeated himself and she just mumbled, "not here." 

"Huh?" he asked. 

"I said not here," she hissed, looking around and hoped that no one had noticed the two of them so far. The last thing she needed was ending up on another gossip site, mid break up. 

She opened the door and led Jim inside, quickly shoving clothes off of her desk chair, pushing papers into a pile and hoping Jim wouldn't notice the mess. She busied herself with her back to Jim, partly so she didn't have to look at him, partly because she didn't know how to say what she needed to say to him. As she rifled through her purse looking for nothing in particular, she felt Jim's hand on her arm, tugging her around to look at him. 

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked, breaking the silence that had filled the room. 

Even though Pam was now facing him, she still hadn't looked at Jim. She took a breath, and then finally looked up. "Why did you lie to me?" she asked quietly, trying to hold back her tears. 

Jim dropped his hand from her arm and went to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, he closed his mouth and let out his breath through his nose. His eyes darted all over the place as he tried to work out what to say. "I," he paused and tried again, "I didn't lie-"

"Yes you did!" Pam exploded, not letting him finish. "You let me believe you were some poor struggling musician, when in reality you're the biggest pop star on the fucking planet!"

"Woah, woah, woah," he said putting his hands up defensively, "I'm not a pop star!" 

"I don't fucking care what kind of music you play. How could you not tell me who you were?" she shouted back.

"Because I liked that you didn't know who I was," he said quietly, looking down at the ground. 

"What?" she asked hoarsely.

"You had no idea who I was. In the shop, when we were chatting in the garden, any of our dates," he explained as he fiddled with his fingernails. "It was amazing," he said, looking up slightly so that he could meet her eyeline. He was met with a look of confusion. "I never know who wants to get to know me because of me or because of my fame. But with you, I knew you had no idea who Duncan was, so I knew you just wanted to get to know me." 

Pam let out a laugh through her nose as she broke their eye contact and looked down at the ground. "You must think I'm a complete loser not knowing." She shook her head bitterly to herself. 

"Are you kidding me?" He took her hands in her. "I think you're incredible."

"Yeah right," she huffed with a roll of her eyes, trying to pull her hands out of his. "So incredible you want to hide me away." 

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You want to hide me away," she shrugged, looking up at him again. "You're clearly embarrassed to be seen with me." 

"I. What? I don't get it," he said earnestly. 

"The little dark restaurants. The cinema. Anywhere that people aren't. You obviously don't want people to see us together." 

"Is that really what you think?" he asked, and Pam shrugged with a small nod. "Beesly," he said, putting his hands on her upper arms, "I'm not embarrassed about you. I want to shout about you from the rooftops." 

"Then why don't you?" she shouted, pulling back from him and stretching out her arms in question. 

Jim looked up at the ceiling and ran his hand over his face. "Because it's not that easy," he groaned loudly. "Sorry," he sighed. "It's just. It's everyone. No one leaves me alone. I don't have any privacy. I can never just have a personal life. Anything I do is splashed all over the tabloids and the internet. Why do you think I wear this god damn mask and cap the whole time? I just want some privacy." He took a breath. "It's not you I'm embarrassed of, I promise. I just want to protect us. To protect you. I want whatever we are, to be between you and me. Not some tween that's upset she's never going to get to date me and get mad at you."

"Too late for that," Pam laughed, the hurt evident in her voice. Jim knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. "The way I found out who you really are?" 

"Please don't say it like that," he begged.

"Sorry," she sighed. "I just mean I found out about all ‘this'," she said waving her hands in front of him, "was because my friend Kelly was looking at pictures on Instagram and was mad you were ‘snogging some normie' as she so lovingly put it. And then I started reading all the comments on the pictures and wow, people really hate me already apparently." She wiped a tear away that had rolled down her cheek.

"Pam," he whispered, pulling her to his chest and wrapping his arms around her. "I'm so sorry," he said into her hair. 

She let herself be held for a moment, remembering how much she loved being in his embrace, even though she'd only grown accustomed to it over the last few days, but then wriggled out of Jim's arms. "You still lied to me though. Your name? The meeting with the record company? Just being a singer-songwriter? I can't even trust you now with why you said you were busy tonight. For all I know you're going to be performing with Beyonce, and not just seeing some friends," she fired at him.

"I haven't lied," he sighed. "I. Look, can we sit down?" he asked as he perched on the edge of Pam's bed and pulled on her hand so she sat down with him. "Ok, let's start with my name. I'm Jim to everyone I truly know. I've always been Duncan when I perform. It's my middle name. No one outside of my family and close friends calls me Jim. And that should tell you everything. I didn't want to be Duncan to you. I want you to know the real me." He looked at her with begging eyes. 

She nodded ever so slightly and placed her hand on top of his. "Thank you," she whispered.

He looked down at their hands and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles as he carried on talking. "And the meeting? Technically I didn't lie. It was with a record company, but all my meetings are. It just wasn't for some deal like I let you believe. So I truly am sorry. I just didn't want to get into me having a five-album deal so quickly, you know?"

Pam's eyes bugged slightly and then she swallowed. "Uh, yeah, sure." 

"And as much as you think I'm a, what was it you called me? A fucking pop star?" he laughed. "I really am just a singer. And I write songs. It's just me and my guitar. And then there's a band too, I guess," he added a little sheepishly. "But there's no dance routines or backing singers or sparkly outfits," he rushed out, making Pam laugh. "It's been a crazy two years I guess. I mean, it wasn't like overnight success or anything, I'd been paying in pubs and open mic nights for years and eventually got ‘discovered'," he said in air quotes. "And then it just kinda went crazy after that with the singles and TV appearances and the huge shows and interviews. At least over here. I'm not really sure anyone in the States knows who I am. But my management is working on that," he laughed, "which is why you wouldn't have heard of me." Pam watched him as he carried on pouring his heart out to her. "But it's been really hard too. Being away from my family and friends, and not knowing who to trust or anything. And just people staring or screaming at me everywhere I go. I just really try to not let the fame or success get to me. I just want to be as normal as I can." 

"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice.

"No, I'm sorry. I should have been honest from the start," he countered.

"I get why you weren't now. I guess it just all kind of blindsided me. I wasn't expecting the cute struggling singer I've just started dating to have the number one album in the charts. You know?" 

"You think I'm cute, huh?" he grinned, bending forward to kiss her.

"That's not what I said," she said against his mouth. 

"I think that's exactly what you said," he replied after they broke apart, lips still tingling. He went back in for another kiss, but Pam stopped him.

"So what are you doing tonight?" she asked, her hand still on his chest. "Just hanging out with friends?"

"Um," he paused, his face flushing red. "Technically yes." He took in Pam's skeptical face. "It's just those friends will be playing their instruments on stage with me."

Pam scooted back from him. "You're playing a concert? At what? Wembley?" she asked with a furrowed brow. 

"No, no. Pam it's not like that," he said, hanging his head. "It's this really small gig. Just tiny. But, I want you to come to it. And all my future ones. And I promise, from here on out, no more hiding things or leaving out parts, no more technicalities. Just the truth, ok?" 

Pam looked up at his earnest face and nodded. "Ok," she whispered. "But," she got a little closer to him, "can you wear the sparkly dress for me?" 

"Shut it you," he laughed, as he kissed her, pushing her backwards onto the bed.