Pam had resisted at first, giving Kelly every excuse under the sun as to why she shouldn't go to Duncan's concert that evening.  And yet, she found herself walking up Chalk Farm Road to The Roundhouse, the cold night air wiping her hair around her as she tried to keep her coat closed. "How am I even going to get to talk to him?" Pam asked Kelly as they passed The Stables market on their left. 

"Let's not worry about that," Kelly shushed her.

"Yes, let's worry about that Kelly!" Pam shouted back. "You're dragging me here to torture me-"

"Not torture. I'm getting you back together with the love of your life," Kelly rushed out. 

"He's not the love of my life." 

"He might be. And you'll never know for sure if you don't go and talk to him."

Pam didn't have a response for Kelly, so she simply rolled her eyes and kept battling with the wind as they walked. Eventually, they made it to The Roundhouse and both women let out a groan when they saw the size of the queue of mostly women snaking its way around the curved walls of the huge brick building. They joined the back of the line and Pam tried not to listen to all the excited chatter coming from all around them. 

"Did you hear his new song? God, it's so sad."

"He looked ruined." 

"I wouldn't mind if he ruined me."

"Oh god, right? He's so fucking hot." 

"Whoever he's singing about doesn't deserve him. He needs to stay single forever." 

Pam looked down at the ground and bit her lip. "Just ignore them," Kelly whispered to her. 

"How can I ignore them when they're talking about me?" Pam hissed.

"To be fair, they're mostly talking about him," Kelly replied, and Pam shot her a warning look. "Ok, sorry. Wanna play a game?" she asked as she jiggled slightly in the cold to try and stay warm. 

"Sure." 

"Sexiest Man Alive?" Kelly asked as she took out her phone and started tapping it. 

"Ok" 

"2016. Looks like a thumb."

"The Rock. Make it harder," Pam deadpanned. 

"Fine. 1999. Likes hamsters." 

"Ohhh, whatshisname. Pretty Woman guy," Pam said as she clicked her fingers. "Richard Gere."

"Yesss. Ok. Next. Literally the sexiest man that has ever walked the earth. I know he wants me." 

"Idris Elba," Pam said with a roll of her eyes. "I said make them harder." 

"Ok, ok. Jeez. Super hot guy. Used to work in an ‘office'. Married to a British wom-" Kelly started but then interrupted herself, "oh look we're moving."  

They shuffled along until finally they reached the front of the queue and showed their tickets to the bored girl obnoxiously chewing gum at the door. "Now what?" 

"Now we go get a stiff drink and wait for lover boy to start singing," Kelly said as she led Pam into the huge round dark room where the support act was already playing. They made their way over to the bar at the back and Kelly ordered two gin and tonics.

"As great as this is," Pam said sarcastically as someone pushed her further into the bar as they tried to get the bartender's attention, "wasn't the point of this to try and talk to Duncan?" 

"Oh you won't be able to talk to Duncan," a familiar voice said. Pam turned to see Karen stepping up to the bar. "He's super strict with who gets to go backstage."

"I'm not doing this," Pam said to Kelly as she quickly turned and pushed her way out of the crowd around the bar, running slap bang into someone else she knew. Stacy.

"Oh my god, Pam!" Stacy shrieked as she bent forward to hug Pam. "What the fuck has been going on?"

"What do you mean?" Pam asked in her best nonchalant tone. 

"What do I mean?" Stacy laughed. "You disappeared and then dumped Jim-" 

"You mean Duncan," Pam interrupted.

Stacy gave her a puzzled look. "What are you talking about? You know his real name."

"I, um, I," Pam stammered as it hit her that maybe Jim had been telling the truth. 

"So what happened? He's been absolutely heartbroken. Just a real mess. Not eating. Not showering, which is super unpleasant. He's written the most heartbreaking song. About you."

"I knew it was about her!" Kelly shouted, feeling completely vindicated. Stacy turned to look at Kelly in question. The question being ‘who the fuck are you?'. "I'm Kelly, the best friend," Kelly announced, holding her hand out to Stacy to shake.

Stacy shook Kelly's hand as she introduced herself. "I'm Stacy, the drummer's girlfriend."

"Oh my god, can you get us backstage?" Kelly gushed as she eyed the AAA pass hanging around Stacy's neck. 

"Uh, well I can probably get Pam backstage," Stacy said, glancing sideways at Pam. "They're pretty tight on security and stuff."

"You have to go," Kelly said to Pam, practically pushing her forward. "Come on, this is the whole reason we came here." 

Pam took a deep breath. "I know, I know. It's just. I don't even know what to say to him."

"You say ‘I'm very sorry I thought you were sleeping with your groupies'," Kelly began, but was interrupted by Stacy's guffaw of laughter. 

"You thought Jim was sleeping with those girls?" 

"Well, kinda," Pam blushed. "I didn't have any reason not to think that when they made it sound like they were."

"Oh hun. If you're gonna be a rock star's girlfriend, you're gonna need much thicker skin than that. How do you think I cope with it?" Stacy asked. Pam and Kelly gave each other a sideways glance and tried to bite back their smirks. Ignoring them, she continued. "We've gotta be quick though," she said looking down at her watch. "They're on in like 5 minutes." 

"Come on, let's go get your man back," Kelly said triumphantly, grabbing Pam's hand and raising it in the air, as if she were Bender from The Breakfast Club. 

"Ok," Pam said with very little confidence as she pulled her hand back down. She was already feeling sick at the thought of what to say to Jim and how to even start with her apology to him. She followed closely behind Stacy, tightly holding Kelly's hand as she led them through the tight crowd. They stopped in front of the security and after Stacy flashed her badge, the big burley man stood aside and let them through. 

"Not you," the man gruffly said to Kelly as she tried to squeeze past him.  

Pam turned around looking for reassurance, to which Kelly gave her a nod and shooed her on. Pam stepped forward into the hallway and in the distance, she could see the top of Jim's head. She stood on tip toes, trying to get a better view of him, when the man who had been standing in the way suddenly moved. She now had a clear view of Jim with his arm around Karen's shoulder as the two of them smiled at a camera. She fell heavily onto her feet, and that sick feeling she'd suppressed earlier came racing back. She wanted to turn and run away from them, but her feet were stuck to the floor. She couldn't stop staring at them. 

The guy taking the photo gave Jim and Karen a thumbs up to signal that he had the shot. Jim immediately dropped his arm to his side, but Karen moved around to throw her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a hug. He had no choice but to lean into the awkward embrace, but as he did so, he noticed Pam staring at them. He was so shocked by her standing there, that he didn't realise that Karen was pulling him down to kiss her.

Pam felt winded as she watched the scene in front of her unfold. Somehow, her feet found the energy she needed, so she was finally able to turn and run out of the cramped hallway. Her heart was pounding and she swore she could feel it in her ears as she pushed past the people backstage in an attempt to escape. She faintly heard her name being shouted behind her as she ran, but there was no way in hell she was going to stop. 

She carried on pushing her way through the crowd as the lights dimmed around her and the screaming erupted. She fought her way out of the dark venue and ran down the stairs to the entrance. As she felt the cold air of Camden hit her, Pam let out a sob. She'd so wanted to believe Stacy, but she'd just seen Jim kiss one of his groupies. With her own eyes. How could you be so stupid? her brain screamed at her. She took a breath and listened to the muffled sound of Jim's voice and guitar bleeding out of the huge brick building and knew that she couldn't stay there. She started to walk away when suddenly, someone grabbed her hand and pulled her around.

"I told you, you're gonna have to grow a pair and realise these girls don't mean anything to him," Stacy said. 

"But I just saw him kissing her!" Pam shrieked as she motioned towards the building.

"No you didn't. You saw a very desperate woman taking any opportunity she can get to throw herself at her favourite celebrity. Did you see them kiss? No. Because Jim did what he always does and ducked out the way. So yes, maybe she collided with his cheek, or neck, or chest. But he most definitely wasn't kissing her," Stacy said sternly.

"But-"

"No but's. I've known Jim a long time. I've been around this band since they started. I've seen the girls who throw themselves at all of those guys. I've seen bras chucked on stage. I've read the thirsty comments they leave on any social media post of theirs. But let me tell you, not once has any of them acted on anything. Well, ok Creed has, but Creed is a law unto himself," Stacy explained so quickly she was almost out of breath. "But Jim. I've never seen him so much as look at these girls. He's one of the good guys. I can promise you that."

"So I'm being kind of stupid?" Pam asked bashfully.

"Really fucking stupid," Stacy laughed. She put her arm around Pam's shoulder. "Come on, let's go get your rockstar back." 

As they made their way back into the building and up the stairs, Pam's heart was beating at least twice as fast as it should have been. She took deep, shaky breaths as she tried to calm herself down, but the moment Stacy pulled the heavy doors open to the venue, the volume of the music suddenly increased and Pam thought she was about to black out. Even though they were at the very back of the dark crowded hall, Jim was all encompassing. The spotlight was trained on him as he strummed his guitar, his voice filling the huge space. Pam couldn't pull her eyes from him as he sang. The crowd sang along with him, swaying to the heartland rock beat and Pam could feel she was part of something special. She started pushing her way through the crowd to get closer to him. 

As the song began to wind down, the clapping and whooping increased. Pam couldn't help herself, she started to clap and felt the first tear roll down her cheek. She wiped it away between claps and took a deep breath to steady herself. The clapping slowed and that's when she realised that Jim was about to speak. She weaved closer to the stage, quietly apologising as she squeezed her way through the tightly pressed bodies, with Kelly and Stacy following her. 

"This, uh, this next one is something new I've been working on," Jim began and another round of cheering ensued. He paused until the hollering subsided, ran his hand through his hair, took a breath and then carried on, albeit a little shakily. "I've had a pretty rough couple of weeks lately. And um, I guess I haven't been able to sleep. I can't concentrate on anything. And weird stuff, like food, has no taste. It's awful, and it's something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy," he explained to the silent and stunned crowd. "So, uh, I've done the only thing I really know how to do. I've written a new song." The crowd cheered and clapped, but slowed to let him finish. "This is Soulmate," he said as he started to strum his guitar. He took a step closer to the microphone and began to softly sing. 

Didn't think I'd ever feel like this
Like someone held my whole heart
Thought love was for everyone else
But now she's torn me apart

I can't stop thinking ‘bout her
A piece of my heart is missing

Pam couldn't breathe. She was transfixed, staring at Jim as he sang the words. The words that she couldn't deny were about her.

When's my baby gonna come back to me?
I need my soulmate more than I need my next breath
When it feels like the world is against me
I need her back in my arms
The only one that ever really knew me
The only one to make me whole again

"Come on," Stacy whispered to Pam, and tugged on her hand slightly so that she'd move and they started to weave their way through the crowd again.  

She was mine for while, and I
I finally knew what love was like
Now she's gone and I've fallen to pieces
It's like my world's gone on strike 

Pam let herself be pulled through the crowd until they were almost at the stage, her eyes never wavering from Jim singing his heart out. She noticed that they'd stopped moving and shifting her focus, Pam realised that they had made it to the front of the venue and she was now so close to Jim. She felt his music, his words, in her heart, coursing around her body, becoming part of her, and she needed to see him, to touch him, to apologise and stop all this hurt. She was about to turn to Stacy to ask to get her backstage as quickly as possible when Jim looked down and saw her. 

Everything stopped and it was just the two of them for a split second, one that felt like an eternity. They locked eyes, and Jim faltered on his strumming and stumbled on his words as he stared at Pam. 

I can't stop thinking ‘bout her
A piece of my heart is missing

"This way," Stacy whispered, pulling on Pam's hand again, causing her to break her eye contact with Jim. 

Pam looked back over her shoulder and could see Jim trying to find her again in the crowd, but there was nothing she could do as Stacy led her to the side of the stage. Stacy waved her badge at the burly security guard again, and once more, he let them through. "Quick, go," Stacy loudly whispered, pushing Pam up the stairs so that she was standing on the very edge of the stage. Pam stood there, completely in awe of the man singing his pained heart out about her.

When's my baby gonna come back to me?
I need my soulmate more than I need my next breath
When it feels like the world is against me
I need her back in my arms
The only one that ever really knew me
The only one to make me whole again

As Jim sang, Pam could see him searching the crowd below them to look for her. Feeling brave, and her heart absolutely beating out of her chest, Pam took a slight step forward so that she was more in Jim's peripheral vision. The slight movement caused him to look around and see her standing there, hands clenched together in front of her, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to him. He gave her a lopsided grin and shook his head as he carried on strumming. He motioned for her to come and join him on stage, but Pam vehemently shook her head. So he walked over to her and tugged on her hand, pulling her onto the stage with him.

When's my baby gonna come back to me?

He sang the rest of the song, only to her, not caring that there were 5,000 people watching them in stunned silence. 

I need my soulmate more than I need my next breath 

Pam stared into Jim's eyes as he sang, unable to tear her gaze away from him. She was vaguely aware out of the corner of her eye that people were staring up at them, but nothing could distract her from this moment. From the love in his eyes pouring into her soul. 

When it feels like the world is against me 

"I'm so sorry," she mouthed, looking up at him. He shook his head and stopped playing his guitar, and instead clapped his hand against the polished wood to keep the beat of the song. 

I need her back in my arms

"Pick me Duncan!" a voice from the crowd screamed, breaking the eerie silence. Jim and Pam both broke their trance to look at the crowd below and saw Cathy frantically waving her arms around, flanked by Karen with an angry scowl on her face and Katy looking absolutely mortified. Jim gave them a small, bashful smile before he turned his attention back to Pam. 

The only one that ever really knew me 

He pushed his guitar so that it was hanging upside down against his back and pulled Pam flush against him. He ducked his head down so that he could whisper the last line of the song against her lips.

The only one to make me whole again 

And as he kissed her with everything that he had, the crowd went wild.