The moment when you think it:
It kind of pops into your mind unexpectedly, because you're just sitting at your desk minding your own business. He's been out on a sales call so you've gotten through your work pretty quickly this morning, and Michael has been in a meeting with accounting not disturbing you with silly jokes or conference room meetings.
You've just opened up a new memo and are about to read it when he walks in, giving you a grin with his bright "hey!" as he approaches the coat rack by your desk.
"Hey! How was the sales call?"
"Good, yeah, got the sale," he nods as he hangs up his jacket.
"Oh, awesome! Congratulations."
"And," he places his bag on the ledge of your desk and pulls out a thin paper bag, "grabbed you something while I was there."
You take the bag from him curiously and peek inside. "Oh my God!"
"They're not the best, obviously, because they get their paper from us, but... I figured it'll be better than sketching on a legal pad."
"Thank you so much," you grin, pulling out the sketchbook and set of pencils.
"No problem," he smiles, raps his knuckles on the ledge, and leaves for his desk.
You watch as he settles in, a smile on your face. You're going to use your new sketchbook and pencils at lunch. You sit back down and read the memo, print a few copies, adding a copy to the top of a pair of folders you need to take down to the warehouse for Darryl to sign off. You distribute the memos before grabbing the warehouse pile and making your way, still smiling to yourself.
These little Jim gestures are just one of the things you love about him.
You drop the folders and the memo, almost slipping on the stairs as it hits you. Darryl appears from his office at the commotion, asks if you're okay and comes up to help you pick up some loose papers that escaped. You wear Keds the next day, because you're still thinking about where the word love came from and maybe that's where head over heels comes from?
The moment when you think you know it:
Watching him so at ease with Abby and Sasha at his desk, you can't look away. He's so good with kids. He sets a good example and makes boundaries without a fuss - not too much candy, not too loud because Phyllis is on a call. He role plays a sales call with Abby, and he then gives her the task of working out the sums for his next two sales. Abby concentrates as she looks through the catalogues to find the prices of the items and work out the cost of the amount. Melissa brings her a calculator from Stanley's desk then helps Sasha find some more pencils to color with. He even directs them to you, and you excitedly pull out your work pencil case. Finally, some brownie points with the kids.
You have this warm feeling in your heart as you watch him. He would be such a good dad. It's so effortless for him. You've wondered for a long time if what you feel for him is love and you're pretty sure now that it is. You want nothing more than to pull up a chair next to him and his arm come around you as he gives your forehead a kiss, at ease with these kids around you.
Your smile fades a bit because this heart warming love, happy family feeling is just a feeling you can have. It is not a reality you can have. It's okay, you've long learned to accept it. The grass is always greener.
But you can sit there and feel it, even if you know you'll go home heartbroken that you love someone you shouldn't.
The moment when you know you know it but you just can't say it:
Every day since that moment he interrupted your camera interview with "it's a date" you've had hearts in your eyes. You wanted to tell him you love him on your first date and you're pretty sure he knows, but it just feels too soon. You want it to be a perfect moment but the whole first week is a whirlwind of romance and talking and being addicted to dating this guy you've wanted from the moment you met him.
Like seriously, you're worried you'll need medical attention if you ever break up.
You almost said it last night but chickened out because you suddenly thought, what if he needs time to love you again after all the stuff that happened between Michael's casino night and "are you free for dinner tonight?" You're pretty sure he does still love you, but he's not said it and now you're suddenly so aware of this. But you so want to say it because it's on the tip of your tongue and you feel it so deeply.
That's what she said.
Ugh. Well - no - don't sidetrack yourself.
On the weekend you're visiting your cousin - you almost cancel because you just want to stay in bed with him - in Philadelphia. When you call him in the evening you almost say it. You pause and you just say "I miss you." He pauses and says "I miss you too."
When you're back home and he knocks on the door four hours later you almost say it.
When he brings you a bag of chips at work you almost say it.
When he kisses you goodnight you almost say it.
When you wake up from a nap on his couch and he's tucked you in with a blanket you almost say it.
The moment when you know you know it and you can't keep it in any longer:
When you finally say it, it is absolutely not this huge romantic moment that you imagined.
You're just at work, but at least you're in a new green blouse you bought. Your shoes are a bit scuffed and you haven't started doing your hair properly every day - that happens a few weeks later. Also, you're in your backup underwear because you haven't bothered to do laundry since you started dating beyond washing your new clothes at your cousins apartment in Philadelphia so you could wear them, and she likes ironing. You think it's weird that she likes ironing but it's useful, and she did get you through your previous breakup and the heartache of seeing the love of your life date someone else, so you forgive the weird affinity for ironing.
Needing a screen break because you've been chasing sales reports and checking the other receptionists in the company are as fed up of corporate asking for an update on said sales reports, you go and put on the kettle and pop your pink mug on the counter before going to the bathroom.
God, you really must do some laundry. You spent all that money on sexy lingerie only to be seen by your boyfriend in these big old frilly fraying cotton things?
When you're back in the kitchen, he is making a coffee and he's put a hibiscus teabag in your mug and poured in the boiled water. It's the exact tea you wanted. You just stand there and grin at him over this tiny, simple gesture, unmoving from your spot outside the women's bathroom.
He turns around and raises a brow, amused, and asks, "what?"
"I love you."
His jaw drops slightly, exhaling a surprised huh before he breaks into a grin, removes the teabag from your mug and hands it over to you.
"I love you too."
"Well... okay then," you nod, blushing, and head back to your desk.
You email him.
Dear Jim,
Please forward your sales report ASAP.
I love you,
Pam