Pam is already working hard—on her Christmas shopping list—when Jim comes into the office. She tries not to let her expression change, but she feels a little hopeful when he walks up to her desk.
"Morning."
"Hi," she says.
"What are you doing?" He peers over the desk at her computer and she puts her list away.
"Christmas shopping." Jim lets out a small chuckle.
"Have you seen Michael's cards this year?" She shakes her head and Jim rustles around in his bag. "Oh, you're in for a treat, Beesly." He hands her a red envelope.
She opens it slowly, almost afraid to see what obnoxious, awful thing Michael has done this year. "Oh my gosh! JIM! This has to be a joke." She pushes the card back towards him.
"It's not, I swear. Kar—" He clears his throat. "I mean, I know other people in the office have gotten them too. You're next."
"I can't wait. Do you think he sent one to…"
"Jan? Oh, absolutely. I'm waiting for the phone call."
*
Jim can't stop grinning. At least the cameras don't know if it's because of Michael's ridiculous card or because of his conversation with Pam this morning.
"Is this really something I can show on camera?" He asks, but he holds up the card. It's been photoshopped. Badly. "It's Michael and Carol, but it's not just Michael and Carol. If you look closer, you can see that it's Michael's head on, I believe that's Brad Pitt's body and Carol's head on Angelina Jolie's body. Yes. He did. Gotta love Christmas in Scranton."
*
Everyone's in the conference room. "I think it's obvious what this time of year means," Michael starts. He changes his voice, into a deep, sort of dunderhead timbre. "Well, what does it mean, Michael? It means a time to be thankful and thoughtful of what we have, a time to spend with our families and friends, and a time to learn what the true meaning of giving is."
"That was lovely, Michael," Dwight comments.
"I think I read that on a Hallmark card." Jim pipes up.
"No guys, shut it. I'm not done. Now you've ruined my flow. Oh yeah, it's a time to learn what the true meaning of giving is. But most importantly—drum roll, please." He starts sputtering until Andy joins in, not to be outdone by Dwight. "It's time for the Dunder Mifflin Christmas extravaganza!"
"We don't have the budget for an extravaganza," Angela replies.
"You know what I meant. The annual party. So in the spirit of the holidays, I was thinking we should let some of our new employees join in on the wild and crazy party planning committee." No one responds. "Any takers?"
"I'll do it," Andy shrugs.
"No!" Dwight protests. "I mean, I'm sure there must be someone else."
"That's okay, Andy, it's usually women."
Ryan frowns. "I was a member last year."
"Doesn't count," Michael waves the comment away.
"Wait. Are you saying only women can be on the party planning committee because that's what we're good at?" Pam asks.
"No, that's not what I'm saying, Pam."
"Then what are you saying, Michael? If Andy wants to be on the committee, then he should be able to," Phyllis speaks up.
"I'll do it," Karen interrupts.
"Great. Thank you, Ms. Fillipelli. Gracias. Arigato, whatever." Jim shoots Karen an amused look. "I thought the gift exchange went over so well last year--"
Jim raises his hand. "Uh, I have to disagree. You know what, let's take a vote. All who are in favor of another yankee swap Christmas say aye, those who aren't, say nay."
"Nay," almost everyone else echoes.
"Oookay. Moving on."
*
"My favorite part of Christmas is the gifts," Michael glances up at the camera. "I mean, not just getting them, although there's nothing like tearing into a package and not knowing what's inside. Maybe it's that awesome Barry Manilow CD you wanted," Michael gasps.
"You know, where he sings those '60s hits? Or maybe it's a sweater that your grandma knitted you. But no, the best part is definitely giving to others. You want them to have that same look of awe on his face when he opens his present from you that you did when you unwrapped your Barry Manilow CD…or it doesn't have to be Manilow, that's just an example. Although I'm a fanilow."
He chuckles.
*
Karen sinks into her chair with a sigh as the meeting in the conference room adjourns.
"I can't say I had you pegged as a party planner," Jim leans against her desk.
She shrugs. "Maybe it's in my blood. My grandmother was the typical Italian. She always played hostess, no matter if it was Christmas or if you just stopped by. What are the parties usually like here?"
"The same as everything else. Good luck." Karen rolls her eyes, but notices Pam heading into the kitchen. She follows close behind.
"Oh, hey," Pam smiles as she pulls her drink out of the fridge.
"Hey. I was just, uh, coming to see what was up with this party planning committee. I mean, what exactly have I gotten myself into here?"
Pam laughs. "Well, dealing with Angela isn't always easy, but the Christmas party is pretty simple. It's basically the same every year. We have a tree and lights and some decorations. We get people to bring in snacks and egg nog. Last year, Michael bought booze, but technically, that's against company policy."
"But that doesn't apply if the party is off-site, right?"
"Yeah."
"So Scranton has to have some decent restaurants. Where could we go? You're the expert."
Pam blushes. "Oh, I don't know. Did you want something more up-scale or just a chain? Or we could go more exotic. I know a decent Korean place."
"Well, we always had our New Year's Eve parties at this restaurant called The Tavern. It was right on the water and it was really pretty, with all the boats and the lights and everything."
"Oh, wow. Usually we just go to Chili's."
They're both laughing when Jim comes out of the bathroom. He seems surprised to see them getting along so well.
"We're just talking about the Christmas party," Pam offers.
"Oh no, that's good. I was going to tell Karen to talk to you since you're so adept at dealing with Angela."
Karen is still stuck on a restaurant. "Is there maybe a sushi place we could go to? That would be more hip."
"Um, there's a Benihana's close to my apartment."
"Perfect." Karen starts to leave, but pauses. "I'm not being too overbearing about this, am I? I just thought it would be nice to do something a little different. People can still bring snacks or whatever during the day and we'll have the tree, but I thought it would be nice to have everyone go out together, get out of the office a little bit."
"No, that sounds good. I'm up for it."
"Good. So I can count on your support? I'm not going to get ambushed by Angela?"
"Sure."
"Thanks."
*
"Things are definitely different this year. I—well, I'm going to visit my parents for a week," Pam nods, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. "It'll be nice. As for the office Christmas party, I don't expect it to be anything special." She lets her gaze fall to her lap.
*
"Carol's coming to have lunch with me today," Michael informs the cameras. "I think that's a sign that things are going pretty well. Oh, wait until you see these." He pulls out a box of the photoshopped cards. "Aren't these hilarious?" His phone beeps. "Yeah?"
"Carol's here."
"Okay. Be right out." Carol is chatting with Pam when Michael emerges and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "How are you?"
"Okay."
"Let's say hi to everyone before we go."
"Oh, Michael, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Come on, come on. Everyone say hi to Carol." There's a sort of mumbled greeting. "See? That didn't take long. Ready for lunch?"
"Actually I'm not sure I have time for lunch. I wanted to talk to you. Can we go outside or something?"
"Uh, sure." Michael glances over at Pam, who is on her computer. He leads Carol out into the hallway and around the corner by the entrance to Vance Refrigeration.
"I'm really sorry to do this, but I've been thinking…"
"Um, what?" He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"It's not you. It's just, I have the kids, and I have to think about them in all of this."
"But I thought you said I was great with kids."
"You are, but what if this doesn't work out? I don't want them to get used to you being around."
"This isn't because of the Christmas cards, is it? Because those were just a joke."
"What Christmas cards?"
"Nothing, never mind, not important. So you're breaking up with me because you like me too much?"
"Well, kind of. It's hard to explain. Things just happened so fast with my ex-husband, I don't want that to happen again."
"I can slow down."
"No, Michael, I just…I need to do this. I'm sorry." As Carol leaves, Michael slinks into the stairwell.
*
"We don't even have to worry about the tree, because Michael and Dwight usually pick one out. As far as the lights go…" Angela makes a check on her list.
"I have some extra bubble lights," Pam offers.
"No, bubble lights are too fancy. We just need colored lights with the bigger bulbs. No green. Now what about food?"
Karen speaks up. "Actually, um, Angela, I had an idea. I thought maybe instead of having the party here, we could all go to a restaurant."
"Oh, that sounds nice," Phyllis smiles.
"Yes, that's fine for the Dundie Awards, but this is the Christmas party and we always have it here." Angela's mouth sets into its usual firm line.
"Wait, the what awards?" Karen frowns, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
"Having it at a restaurant might make it too expensive for some people."
"Maybe we could ask Jan about it?" Pam offers.
"I don't mind paying for someone," Karen speaks up. "If there's someone who can't afford it, I'm sure people wouldn't mind chipping in a couple bucks. It is Christmas after all."
"I really don't think it's appropriate."
Karen doesn’t back down and Pam looks uncomfortable. "Oh, but having a Christmas party is? How do you know there's not someone out there who doesn't celebrate Christmas?"
"Because I know. I've worked here for seven years."
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but there are new people here now."
Angela stands up, slamming her notebook shut. "Heathens," she mutters as she walks out.
"What did you say?"
"Oh, my," Phyllis shakes her head. Pam buries her face in her hands.
*
Michael sits at his desk, his head in his hands. His phone rings. "Yep."
"Jan's on line one."
He sighs heavily. "Did she say what it was about?"
"No. Sorry."
"Fine. Put her through."
"Michael? We need to talk."
"Is it something that needs immediate attention? Because frankly, Jan, I've heard that phrase enough today."
"I haven't talked to you today, Michael."
"I know, it's just, today's not a good day, Jan."
"It certainly is not. These cards, Michael? Are they supposed to be humorous? I don't think I have to tell you it is beyond the rules of decency to send cards like this to your superior."
"You know what, they were supposed to be a joke, Jan, and if you can't see that—well, then you don't have the holiday spirit."
Jan scoffs. "It's hard for me to have the holiday spirit, Michael, when I have to deal with things like this. And from someone who should know better. I mean, there are just so many times that I can catch your mistakes."
There's a knock on Michael's door. Andy sticks his head inside. "You okay there, Big Mike?"
"Can you hold on, Jan?"
"No, I cannot hold on. Are you even listening to me?" Michael presses the hold button.
"What's up?"
"Oh, not much. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed out of it when you came back from lunch and you've been holed up in here all afternoon…"
"No, I'm fine, I—" He sighs. "What's the point? If I can't be honest with my employees, who can I be honest with?"
"Sure," Andy frowns.
"Carol sort of…broke up with me this afternoon."
"What!? I cannot believe she would drop a stud like you. Sometimes, man, the ladies just don't get it."
"That's exactly…wow, maybe you're right." His phone beeps. "What!?"
"Jan's pretty angry, Michael. You need to talk to her."
"You know what, Pam, maybe I don't have time to talk to her. Maybe I have better things to do with my time--"
"I think you need to be telling that to her. I'm just the messenger."
"Let me handle it," Andy comes around to Michael's side of the desk. "Hola. This is Andy Bernard."
"Where's Michael?"
"Hey, listen, Michael's had a rough day. He's taking a little personal time. I think you should call back another time, okey dokey?"
"He was just there."
"Well, yeah, now he's not."
"Is he alright?"
"Tomorrow. Bye."
Michael looks up at Andy in awe.
"You got rid of her. How did you--"
"It's the least I could do. Hey, why don't we go out tonight? I bet before Carol wooed you, you were quite the party animal."
"I've been to some parties in my day, yeah."
"So we'll have a guys' night out. You need it. I'll invite Big Tuna."
"Who? Oh, Jim. Dwight will want to come."
"Well, that's okay. He's a guy, I guess."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, man."
"That's what I'm here for."
Dwight is looking suspiciously at Michael's office. When Andy exits, he pretends to be busy. Andy walks over to Jim's side. "Hey, man. Michael's kind of down and I told him we'd take him out for a drink."
"Oh, I don't think—I don't think you want me for that. You two have fun, though."
"Tuna, you have to. I told him you were coming. He broke up with his girlfriend. He needs us."
"Wait, Michael broke up with Carol?"
"Not exactly."
"Oh. Right. I guess that would be okay, then."
Andy nods at Dwight. "And he said you should come too."
"'Course," Dwight replies, trying to play it cool. "What time?"
"After work? Okay, good."
Ryan comes up as Andy is leaving. "What did I miss?"
*
Ryan doesn't know whether to look sad or complacent or…he settles on trying to be straight-faced.
"I feel bad for Michael, I really do, but I'm so glad Andy didn't ask me to go." He cracks a smile. "At least now I don't have to come up with some lame excuse."
*
Jim feels something hit him in the back of the head. He glances down at the ground to see a wadded up ball of paper. He spins around to look at Pam. Her head is tucked behind the desk and she's trying not to laugh. He grins and shakes his head, walking over to reception.
"You rang?"
"What?" Pam tries to play innocent. "Oh no, that wasn't me."
"Pam, come on. You're the only person who sits behind me. And I might add, has such good aim."
"You'll never prove it. But um, I was just curious what Andy was discussing. Is Michael okay? Did he get in trouble with Jan?"
"Wait, Jan called? You fail, Beesly. Do I really have to find a new accomplice?"
"I was going to tell you! What did you think the paper ball was for?"
"Aha! You admit it!"
Pam rolls her eyes. "Fine, fine. You know more than me anyway. Spill it."
"Well, I just happen to know that Carol broke up with Michael."
Pam glances at Michael's office. "Oh, no. That's horrible. Poor Michael."
"I know. But that's not the worst of it. I have to go out drinking with him, Andy, and Dwight tonight."
"You're kidding. That's precious."
"You just forfeited all privileges to hear the long, drawn out story tomorrow."
"Well, be safe, okay? Use the buddy system. Take Dwight with you wherever you go." Pam tries not to laugh at her own joke.
"You're killing me today, Beesly. If Jan calls back, let me know."
"Will do."
"I'm holding you to it. Or you owe me a Coke." He tosses the paper wad onto her desk. She beams.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I got the idea for this after I read the episode description for the Christmas episode (also titled "A Benihana Christmas".) If you have NOT read the episode description, you will find out minor things that are going to happen. This isn't really a complete story. Think of it as a sampling of scenes.
mixedberries is the author of 13 other stories.
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