Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It’s the day before Christmas Eve, and Jim is sitting on the couch in the familiar settings he shared again with Mark in Scranton.  But Mark wasn’t there.  He was off with his girlfriend, probably at her parent’s house, for the holidays.

With a sigh, he reached for the remote, and turned the TV on.  The light from the screen casts a dull glow on his face.  Something catches his eye, and he decides not to keep scrolling through the channels.  He pulled his feet up on the couch, and leaned into some pillows.

What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.

I'll take it. Then what?

Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much? 

His mind wandered, briefly thinking of Karen, before finally settling on Pam.  He thought getting away from Scranton would have helped him move on, as she certainly didn’t seem to need him to stay.  And it did, for a while, until he moved back.  He thought he had been ready to face her, and maybe even hoped she would have realized how much their friendship had meant to her, and maybe she was ready for more.

Instead, she had seemed to move on, and was doing just fine.  Sure, she said she’d missed him, but when he told her he was sort of seeing someone, he didn’t get the reaction he’d anticipated. 

It was almost as if he didn’t matter; as if he wasn’t there.

*******

He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but when he wakes up, the TV is off, and the only light now is coming from the small Christmas tree near the patio door.  He didn’t remember plugging it in.

“You didn’t.”  Jim looked around the room, trying to see where the voice came from, and he saw Toby sitting next to him.  “I did.”

“Toby?  What are you doing here?”

Toby looked down at the floor before meeting Jim’s confused gaze.  “I’m here to show you that you do matter.”

“What do you mean that I matter?”

Toby stood up, and walked toward the bar near the kitchen.  He grabbed a handful of peanuts from a glass dish, and turned to look at him.

“Right before you drifted off to sleep.  You thought you didn’t matter.  So I’m here to show you that you do.”

Jim scratched his head.  “Man, I know you’re in HR, but this seems above and beyond the call of duty.”

Chuckling, Toby said, “Yeah, this isn’t exactly in the formal job description.”  Walking back towards the couch, he brushed the tree.  Some bells jingled from an ornament on it.  “Huh, someone got their wings.  Let’s get going.”

“I don’t know,” Jim began hesitantly.  Toby, who was now by the door, grabbed Jim’s coat and threw it at him, who caught it and stood up. 

“Just trust me.”  The two walked out the door, and all of a sudden a conference room of a motel appeared.  Hardly anyone was there, and someone was on stage speaking.

“Diversity is important.  So whether you’re red, blue, black, gay or straight, everyone matters.”  Scattered applause followed this statement.

“Is that Michael up there?” Jim asked.

Toby nodded, “Yup.” 

“But, why?”

Taking some chips off of the buffet table in the back of the room, he explained.  “Well, if you don’t matter, you don’t exist.  And without you existing, Jan fired him.  You weren’t there to help raise the morale of the office to rally around him when he made a mistake.”

Jim shrugged.  “I don’t know that I did …”

“You did more than you realize.  When Michael was doing something off-the-wall, you were there to bring him back to earth.  Remember your party at your house, and he was singing by yourself?  Your action of singing with him made him feel like more of the group, and a respected leader.  Even when you stopped by his party at the conference, you helped him feel like your friend, and it inspired him to land a huge sale.”  Toby grabbed a glass and filled it with punch.

“I guess I didn’t think that was what I was doing.”

“Sometimes actions speak louder than words.  People respected you in our office, Jim, whether they show it or not.  So how you perceived Michael and reacted to him set the tone.  And now without you, he was fired.”  He shrugged.  “So now he’s trying to get offices to come to his educational seminars, not that different from the ones he gave to us at work.”

“Well, at least he’s working,” Jim offered.  “I mean, me not being here at least didn’t leave him homeless.”

He then turned to look at the stage.  Hardly anyone was paying attention to what Michael was saying, and at first it didn’t seem to faze him.  Then he paused while in the middle of a sentence, seeming to stumble.  And that’s when Jim knew Michael had realized people weren’t taking him seriously.

Just like that, they were out of the conference room, and were in the office.  But something looked off.  Toby walked towards the manager’s office, and Jim followed.

Inside, Dwight and Andy were shouting at each other, but Jim couldn’t make out what they were arguing about.  Toby said nothing, and they watched.

“Our numbers are not looking good.  When Jan comes this afternoon, I have to show her some progress.  Question, why couldn’t you make the sale?”  Dwight’s eyes narrowed.

“I already said they went with Staples.”

“Did you not use any of the techniques I told you about?”

Andy scoffed at this.  “I hardly think what I learned on that crazy field trip to your beet farm could override what I learned at Cornell.”

Jim leaned over to Toby and whispered, “What’s going on?”

“You don’t have to whisper.  They can’t see us.”  He points at Dwight.  “He’s the regional manager, and Andy is the assistant.  Dwight took over after they fired Michael.  The numbers for this branch aren’t looking so good, in case you didn’t notice, even after the company downsized Stamford.”

Jim shook his head.  “But how did I affect his?”

“Well, again, it was you who tended to rally people, Jim.  And your great sales didn’t hurt, either.  Neither Dwight nor Andy can match your natural ability to connect with people.  So without you, the sales are down.”

Jim thought about this for a moment.  While there had been days that he felt lost at his job, there had also been days where he’d really felt like he was good at what he did, like when he closed a big sale.  It had never been hard to him to sell paper, even though selling paper was somewhat boring.

“Want to take a look at the rest of the office?” Toby asked, interrupting his thoughts.  Jim nodded. 

They walked out of the office, and over to where the accountants sat.  Toby sat at an empty chair.  Angela was at her desk, busily typing.  Just then, Andy walked out of Dwight’s office and came straight over to Angela. 

“It’s not looking good,” Andy said in a hushed tone.  “I might need some cookies later.”

Angela’s eyebrow arched and the corner of her mouth turned upwards.  “With some milk possibly?” 

Andy grinned and smiled.  “Now you’re talking.  Meet me in the break room later.”  He started walking back towards his desk, but not before snapping and pointing his finger at her.

Jim shuddered, and Toby laughed.  “Yeah, that kind of creeps me out, too.”

“So she’s not seeing Dwight?”

“How did you know about that?”  Toby stood up, and moved to another desk.

“Um, I think Pam may have mentioned it to me.  Hey, where’s Kevin?”

“Oh, he lost a lot of money on fantasy football, and then his fiancé left him.  So he’s taking some time off.”

“Oh.”  Jim looked around the room, and noticed Ryan sitting near Jim’s old desk.  Toby followed his gaze.

“Probably wondering about Ryan.  He’s still here.”  The two walked over to the sales desks.  “But still a temp.”

“Wait, what?”

Toby nodded.  “Still a temp.  When Michael got fired, and Dwight promoted, they were going to bump him up to full-time.  But they needed to save money, since sales were so low, and it was more cost-efficient to keep him as a temp.”

“Seriously?  Wow.  How come he hasn’t quit?  Did he finish his business school?”

Toby shook his head.  “I don’t know why he hasn’t quit.  He doesn’t go to business school anymore.  He was going for a while, but I think he stopped going after he broke up with Kelly.”

Jim looked around for her.  “Is she still here?”

“Nope.  During Diwali, her parents talked her into marrying someone they had chosen.  Ryan was kind of beat down from being a temp, and a little depressed, and even though deep down he likes her, he didn’t fight for her.”

Jim’s eyes narrowed.  “And how is this related to me?  I thought you said that you were going to show me how I mattered, Toby.”

“Just hold up.  I was getting to it.”  He walked towards the reception desk and took some jelly beans out of a jar.  “When you left for Stamford, Ryan got promoted.  So, while he still working here and not really liking it, it was more than a temp job.  A promotion is a promotion.  Still good for the ego.”

“That’s kind of a stretch.”

He shrugged.  “Sometimes you influence others in ways that aren’t so direct, Jim.”  He took another handful of jelly beans.

Jim looked at the desk, and was going to ask about Pam when Toby continued.

“Like, take me for instance. I’m still working here.  But when you were here, just you being friendly made my day better.  And Stanley, he may have been grumpy, but secretly he likes the pranks you did sometimes.  He’s still here, too.  I’m telling you, Jim, it’s the little things a person does that have all the world of difference on other people.”

Jim opened his mouth to ask a question, and still Toby continued.

“Andy is the only person from Stamford left.  Everyone else quit.”

“Even Karen?”

Toby shook his head.  “Karen didn’t transfer.  She got a job in New York, and apparently really likes it.”

Jim was shocked.  Deep down, he’d known that part of the reason she’d taken the transfer was because of him.  She’d pretty much confirmed that after their first day there.  She hadn’t seemed happy, and then once Jim had gotten back, his mind became almost consumed by Pam, as much as he tried to deny it.

“And I’m sure you’re wondering about Pam,” Toby said softly.  Jim nodded.  “Let’s go.  She’s out sick today.”  Toby handed Jim some jelly beans, and just like that they were in a dimly lit apartment.

They walked into a living room, with the TV on, some football game playing, and Jim noticed Roy passed out on the couch, snoring loudly, and several empty cans of beer on the coffee table in front of him.

Toby motioned for Jim to follow, and they walked into a tiny kitchen.  There at the table sat Pam.  Her hair was back to the way she often wore it before Jim had transferred, and he saw her pull a cardigan sweater closer.

He noticed a ring on a finger on her left hand that she suddenly began toying with.  He struggled to see if there was a wedding band.

“There’s not,” Toby answered, seemingly reading his mind again.  “She didn’t get married.  Instead, they postponed the date again.”

Jim’s heart ached at hearing that.  “So she still works there?”

Toby nodded.  “Yup.  And Roy’s still in the warehouse.”

“Oh.”  Jim looked at her staring at the ring.

“Because you don’t exist, and didn’t tell her you were in love with her, she never got the courage to admit how she really felt about Roy.  And she never got the strength to take art classes at the community college.  And, she never got the chance to admit how she felt about you.”

They sat in silence, watching Pam at the table for a few moments before Jim spoke.

“Is she happy?”

“Look for yourself.”

Jim then noticed a tear stream down her face, and suddenly felt almost like crying himself.  He couldn’t stand to see her in a situation like this.

“Oh Pam, I’m so sorry,” he said softly.

Pam looked up, startled, and stared right at him.  He saw her eyes widen.  He turned to where he had last seen Toby standing, but Toby was gone.

“Who are you?  How did you get in here?”  Pam’s voice was rising in pitch, almost sounding hysterical.

“Hold on, no need to freak out.”  Jim held his hands up, in a defensive position, as he slowly backed out of the kitchen.

“Who are you?  Oh my god, just take what you want and get out!  Don’t hurt me!”  He saw her eyes dart around the room, and soon they were in the living room.  She ran to Roy, and desperately tried to wake him up. 

“No, I’m just on my way out.  I’m not here to steal.  Honest.”  He knew he was getting close to the door, and then could get out of there.

It was at that moment that Roy seemed to wake up, notice the situation, and started towards Jim, who was fumbling with the door.

“Get out of here!  I don’t know how the hell you got in here, but you sure had better not come back.”  Roy’s words were slurred a bit, but he still had an advantage over Jim in size.

“Yeah, that’s just what I was telling Pam, I’m leav-.”

At the mention of Pam’s name, Roy seemed to go crazy.  “How do you know who she is?  Are you stalking her?  I should just,” and he didn’t finish his sentence as he planted one squarely on Jim’s face.  He heard Pam scream at Roy to stop, and as luck would have it, Jim finally got the door open.

He ran into the hallway, and tore down the stairs.  Once outside, he kept running.  He didn’t know where Toby went, but knew he was close to the office.

He stood in the parking lot, feeling tears well up in his eyes.  He looked to the sky, hoping someone was listening.

“Toby, please come back.  Get me back.  I want to go home.  I don’t care if I am still working here, but I know I matter to people, more than I thought, and I want to matter again.  I want to live again.”

It’s at that moment when Jim suddenly was back in his townhouse.  He blinked, and realized that he’d fallen asleep on the couch.  He shook his head, trying to shake off what he thought was a weird dream.  Then he looked at the Christmas tree, and the lights were on.  A car with a loud engine drove by causing the tree to shake, and the bells rang.

Somebody got their wings, he thought.  He then realized what he had to do.

He got into his car and drove to the office.  At the Christmas party yesterday, he hadn’t given Pam the gift he’d gotten her, and he knew he needed to do just that. 

Using his keys, he let himself into the building, and up into the office.  The lights were dimmed, and he thought it was eerily reminiscent of casino night.  He’d left her gift in his desk drawer, and was rummaging through that when the office door opened again.

“Jim?”

He looked up and saw Pam walking towards her desk.  “Hi.”

“Hey.  What are you doing here?”

“I guess I could ask you the same thing.”  He turned his chair towards her, and leaned back.

She smiled.  “Well, I left a sketch book here, and had been working on a Christmas present for my mom.”

“Ah.”  He looked at the box sitting on his desk.

“Aren’t you going somewhere for the holidays?  Maybe with Karen?”

“Ouch Beesly.  I thought it didn’t matter because we were just friends.”  He stood up, taking the box to her desk, leaning on the edge of the counter.

She was sitting down now, and stopped what she was doing and looked at him.  “It doesn’t matter.  I wasn’t passing judgment.”

He set the box down in front of her now, a card lying on top.  “Open it.  I didn’t get to give this to you yesterday, especially with everything going on.”

“I’m sorry, if that Karen comment was taken the wrong way.  I mean, she seems nice.  I’m-.”

Jim shook his head.  “We aren’t really seeing each other.  Open it.”

Pam carefully opened the envelope, and read the card.  He saw a smile spread across her face, and she eagerly opened the box.  Inside were a set of fancy colored pencils, and a brochure for the Dunder Mifflin internship.

She got up, and ran around the desk to give him a hug.  He looked down at her, smiling, and she smiled back up at him.  It was quite a change from the Pam in his dream.

“They say Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel,” he began, and she interrupted him.

“I felt it, too.  Well, feel.  And I was too scared to say anything.  You didn’t misinterpret anything.”  That statement seemed to knock the wind out of him.  He saw her look up, and giggle.  “Mistletoe.”  Then her face went serious, and he could tell she was waiting for a response.

Instead of saying anything, he pulled her closer and kissed her.  And she kissed him back.  It was then he realized how much he mattered, and how much other people mattered to him. 

“Merry Christmas, Jim.”

“Merry Christmas, Pam.”