Jayne glowered at him. "Gorramn it Mal, why do I got to be the one to go putting on airs for folks?"

Mal shrugged. "Because I'm the captain and it's my say so! Why ain't that never good enough for you Jayne?"

"You never ask is all. Besides, I think if you're sending someone out to meet potential customers, shouldn't it be someone who can talk all pretty like? How about Inara? She's full of them feminine charms."

Mal shook his head. "Ain't nobody else I can spare but you. Inara's got a paying job when we get to earth and I need Wash and Kaylee to work on repairs."

"What about Zoe?"

"I need Zoe with me for a side job."

"Let me do the job with you and send Zoe to meet these folks!"

"I don't think so. After the last job you did with me I'd just as soon take a chance on getting shot by the bad guy 'stead of someone from my own crew."

"I told you, Mal, it weren't my fault! Guy knocked my gun just as I was squeezing the trigger. 'Sides, the doc fixed you up like new."

"Well, it don't matter neither way since you're going to meet the client. You'll do fine. I heard they got some pretty ladies at this office."

"Really?" Jayne perked up at that. "Pretty ladies?"

"That is what I've been told by the customer."

"Shiny! I'm in."

"Okay then." Mal ran his hand through his hair as he watched him go.

Jayne was right, he probably wasn't the best man for the job. But Captain Malcolm Reynolds ran a spare operation with a small crew and no bodies to spare. Besides, he thought, this client didn't seem like the most refined fellow himself. He figured Jayne would do all right.

*****

Michael Scott was feeling pretty proud of himself.

The formation of the Alliance had led to virtual monopolies by those companies fortunate enough to be awarded fat government contracts. And Dunder Mifflin had no hope of competing with Staples. Instead, Michael found himself the head of a branch of a small company scrambling for scraps of the paper supply business.

The grasp of the Alliance was more tenuous out along the frontier and Michael had gotten it in his head to contact the outer planets directly. He had impressed Jan with his innovative ideas and signed contracts with several local commissioners. Now he just needed a way to get the supplies where they needed to go. As Darryl pointed out several times to Michael, Dunder Mifflin's delivery system was still restricted to earth and the Alliance didn't look too kindly on non-approved companies shipping their goods to government controlled planets.

Everyone knew there were smugglers out there who would take anything you had anywhere it needed to go, no questions asked. Unfortunately, Michael Scott wasn't the sort of person who knew the first thing about where to find them or how to get in touch with them. Fortunately, Creed Bratton was.

As it turned out, Creed had spent some time traveling among the outer planets. He was tight lipped about the whole experience but he had met Mal Reynolds in his travels. Michael talked him into arranging a meeting with Mal's people. He hoped this smuggling business was a real memory of Creed's and not a shadow of an idea picked at random from the mists of his substance-addled brain.

For the sake of all their jobs, this time he'd better have a firm grasp on reality.

*****

Jayne strolled through the door. Pam looked up, a little stunned by the large man standing before her, carrying an even bigger weapon.

"C-can I help you?"

He put on his most winning smile. "Yes little lady, you can. I'm looking for Michael Scott."

"Oh. You must be with Reynolds Shipping Company?"

"Huh? Yeah, Reynolds. That's the one." Damn Mal for not filling him in on the details.

"Let me tell him you're here. Just have a seat." she gestured to the sofa by her desk.

Jayne noticed a container of jelly beans on her desk. "Can I try these?"

"Please help yourself!" she said.

He reached in and started pawing through them with his greasy hands. He pulled out a green one and popped it in his mouth. Pam pushed the container towards him, "Yeah, why don't you just take them all."

"Much obliged, ma'am!" he dumped them into the pocket of his coat.

Pam hit the intercom button. "Michael, the gentleman from Reynolds Shipping is here to see you."

"Well don't make him wait, Pam. Send him in!"

She rolled her eyes. "You can go ahead. It's right in there." She gestured towards Michael's office.

Michael rose to greet him. "Good afternoon, sir! I am Michael Scott, Regional Sales Manager! And this is Dwight Schrute..."

"...Assistant Regional Sales Manager..." Dwight added.

"...to the," Michael muttered.

Dwight glanced sideways at his boss. Then he turned back towards the large man who was dressed roughly and not at all appropriately for a business meeting. He had an intimidating presence but Dwight was more intrigued by the rogue than he feared him and he greeted him in the only way he felt appropriate for someone who had traveled through space.

"Live long and prosper!" he said with great enthusiasm.

Jayne stared at Dwight's hand wondering how he should shake it with his fingers contorted like they were. Intead he shook Michael's hand robustly making him wince. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. Jayne Cobb," he hoisted an extrememly large gun. "And this here's Vera."

Michael jumped back. "Holy mother of..."

Jayne looked puzzled. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Well," Michael gasped, "We don't, uh, usually carry guns to meetings."

"That's not entirely true, Michael," Dwight interjected. "I've brought my potato gun on sales calls before."

"Shuuutt it..."

"Just trying to be cautious!" Jayne said brightly. "Can't be too careful in my line of work."

He couldn't believe he had let Mal talk him into this. He contemplated walking right out the door but the crew of Serenity hadn't had a paying gig in a while and Jayne was partial to getting paid.

"Let me just put this down over here." He lowered the gun to the floor and kicked it over to the corner.

"Th-thank you." Michael said. "So - would you like to meet our happy Dunder Mifflin family?"

"Uh, I was thinking we could just cut to the chase."

"well, I like new, uh, subcontractors to meet all my employees to see the team they'll be working with. Or for. And I'll want to meet all your coworkers as well."

Jayne was going to have to try to talk him out of it. Mal was not going to like strangers poking around his ship. Smugglers were a mite prickly about things like that.

He gave in to Michael's suggestion of the office tour - after all, there were supposed to be pretty ladies about - and followed him out of his office. Michael placed a hand on Jayne's shoulder to guide him towards Ryan's desk. Jayne turned and stared at Michael's hand. Then he stared at Michael who dropped his hand like he'd touched a hot stove.

"Ryan! This is Jayne Cobb." Ryan turned in his chair and was startled to see the big man looming over him. He shook hands as Michael babbled on in the background. "Hottest guy in the office, right there."

They walked towards Stanley's desk but he was talking on the phone and waved them off. Michael shrugged his shoulders apologetically as they continued on.

Jayne heard a voice and turned to head for Toby's desk but Michael stopped him. "Nobody sits back there," he said and steered Jayne towards Creed.

Creed was leaning back in his chair with his feet propped on the desk reading a newspaper. Michael peered at the text and snorted. "What?" Creed asked, lowering his paper slightly.

"You're reading that upside down," he said with disdain.

"Actually, Michael, this is Chinese." he muttered a curse under his breath. Jayne immediately laughed out loud.

"You speak Chinese?" Creed asked suspiciously, looking up at him.

"Not much," Jayne gasped, trying to regain his composure. "Just a few useful phrases! You worked with this boo-tai jung-tzahng-duh [not entirely sane] pair very long?"

"I don't remember," said Creed and abruptly went back to reading.

Jayne scratched his head. Michael shrugged and they moved away from his desk. But Creed peered over his paper and eyed them carefully as they walked off. He found the visitor's eyes strangely familiar. There had been some ladies while he traversed the outer planets - maybe some men too, although he never encountered a single species where the men bore the children - and it was possible, wasn't it? The thought slipped out of his head as easily as it had entered and he turned his attention back to the news in China.

"Where's Kevin?" Michael asked Dwight as they approached accounting.

"Allegedly, he's out sick," Dwight smirked.

"Angela? Phyllis? Oscar? Jeez, how are we supposed to make our guest feel welcome? And where the heck is Jim?"

"Jim is on a sales call, Angela and Phyllis are having a party planning committee meeting in the break room with Pam. Oscar went to lunch with his roommate Gil. Kelly is in the warehouse verifying inventory numbers and I think Meredith ran out to the store. She mentioned something about it being a rough day for her - probably 'lady troubles'." He turned triumphantly to Jayne. "That is why I am Michael's number two man in the office. I see all and I know all."

Michael rolled his eyes as Jayne looked around impatiently.

They finally returned to Michael's office where Dwight again took up his vigil by his boss' side. Jayne shifted uncomfortably in his chair. This was taxing the limit of his social graces and he was good and ready to be on his way back to the ship but Michael Scott seemed unwilling to end the meeting.

"Soooo..." Michael said, smiling.

"Yeah?" Jayne responded.

"When can we meet your crew? As I told you, I think our employees, our families if you will, should meet before we do business."

Jayne had reached the end of his tether. "Gorramn it, we gonna do this deal or not? Way I see it, you need us way more than we need you and your little job."

Dwight stepped forward protectively and sputtered, "Now see here, Michael can find someone else to do this. So we don't need you after all!"

"Oh, really?" Jayne smiled coyly. "I heard talk that the Alliance had been cracking down on shipments out of earth and near every self-respecting smuggler in the 'verse had already passed on you. So if you don't mind, I think me and Vera will just be on our merry."

He leaned over and retrieved his weapon from the corner of the office and headed for the door. Dwight jumped in his way. Jayne sized him up coolly and cocked one eyebrow. "Well now. You sure you wanna be standing in my way?"

Dwight braced himself and stood his ground. Jayne shoved him easily to the floor and strode past him. He made it all the way to the door before Michael finally chased him down and clapped a hand on Jayne's shoulder. He was immediately sorry as Jayne turned slowly around, anger spreading across his face.

"Listen, Scott, things are apt to get ugly if you don't take your ruttin' hand off me right quick."

Michael drew his hand back. "Look, you're right we need to do this deal. So what's it gonna take?"

Jayne shook his head. "I ain't working with you people. 'Sides, he bugs me!" he added gesturing towards Dwight.

"I know! He's an idiot!" Michael shouted in frustration. "But come on! There must be some way we can make things right again?"

Dwight looked crestfallen when Michael insulted him but he knew it was only because his boss and mentor was such a shrewd negotiator. He decided to lend his assistance. "What about a challenge?"

"Wha-?" Michael yelped.

"Yes!" Dwight added. "A marksmanship contest! My potato gun against his overly elaborate weapon. If I win, they agree to take the job."

Jayne thought it might be amusing to put the strange little salesman in his place and readily agreed.

Dwight drove them out to his beet farm where he had a target range set up. It kept him sharp for his volunteer sheriff duties. Unfortunately, they hadn't been allowed to carry weapons yet but when they did, he was confident that he would be well prepared. Mose had come in from the fields to lend a hand and set up two paper targets on the hay bales at the far end of the range.

Dwight went first. He set up, took careful aim, and did his best. When he had taken his three shots, Mose ran back with the target. He had hit one shot in the ring outside the bullseye and two right dead center. He smirked, confident in his victory.

When Mose was clear and it was Jayne's turn, he hoisted his gun to his shoulder, fired once, then lowered the gun and grinned.

Dwight sniffed, "What about your other 2 shots?"

Jayne smirked back, "Have your cousin run on back here with the sheet."

Dwight motioned for Mose and he came running. His hands appeared empty. "Where's the target?" Dwight asked impatiently.

Mose shrugged and pulled his hands out of his pocket. A few shredded pieces of paper drifted slowly to the ground like snowflakes.

Jayne grinned as he stroked his gun. "See, Vera here only needs one shot. Now if it's all the same to you gentlemen, I think I'll be gettin' back to my ship." He turned and started striding back towards Dwight's car.

Dwight gulped audibly. Michael's jaw hung open. Suddenly they saw Jayne throw his head back and laugh. He stopped, turned slowly back towards them and paused.

"You know what? I ain't had this much amusement on the last five, no wait, six planets we been on. So what say we do this deal."

Michael looked at Dwight, delighted surprise on his face. Dwight looked at Michael and jumped into his arms, whooping and laughing hysterically. Michael was knocked down onto the furrowed field.

"Get off me you idiot!"

"But Michael, we got it! Aren't you happy?" Dwight grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

"Yes..." he gazed at Jayne, striding to the car, Vera slung over his shoulder. Michael puffed up his chest, "But do you have to be such a ruttin' fool, gorramn it?"

Dwight's face scrunched up. "What?"

Michael's shoulders slumped. "Never mind..." he muttered.

Dwight could be so uncool.