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Story Notes:

Okay this is my first attempt at one-shot fluffy goodness, so any feedback would be so so appreciated.

 

Disclaimer: These characters and quotes are in no way mine. They belong to the dudes that own the Office (Gervais and Merchant maybe??) and Say Anything (probably not John Cusack).

Author's Chapter Notes:

My first attempt at one-shot fluffy goodness. Feedback would be beyond appreciated!

Oh, all the italicized lines are quotes from 'Say Anything' as are most of the obscure references.  Enjoy! 

If you start out depressed, everything’s kind of a pleasant surprise.

It had been the first movie they had watched together. Alone in his house. And back then they were still like friends that weren’t.

She was upset that night, but she didn’t want him to know that. She had never really felt comfortable explaining fights with Roy to him. He had never really felt comfortable listening.

She had found it, tucked way in the back. Stashed behind his copies of the Royal Tenenbaums and Platoon.

“You own this movie??”

He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged.

She had settled into the couch, a little closer that night than she normally would have allowed herself. She let him put his arm around her when she cried with Diane. She let him lace his fingers with hers when Peter Gabriel’s voice coursed from the stereo.

“Pam, do you ever think about--”

“I should get going.”

She had left quickly.

Just knowing that a version like that exists, knowing that just for a minute she felt that and wrote “I still can’t help loving you.” That has to be worth something.

On his last day in Scranton he had left it on her desk. He hadn’t said goodbye, not really, except for a post-it saying “I meant to give you this last Christmas,” and his copy of Say Anything. She figured he probably didn’t want to watch it anymore.

She almost didn’t want to open the card. The last part of him that he had left behind for her. But she did.

It was only two sentences long, and she found herself almost smiling, even though her tears were wetting the ink now.

Pam, I’ll always be there. All the love in my heart, Jim.

She wondered how she would even begin to tell Roy.



She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.



“I wanted to thank you, for talking some sense into Halpert.”

She had helped her. Helped her just to have the chance to talk to him again like before. Besides, Karen probably deserved him more than she did. She hadn’t even given him so much as a pen, let alone her heart.

Sometimes she saw them in the break room. Saw the way she watched him. The new him. The Ice Man. Power Jim. His assault on the world had begun and now he answered to no one. Except for her.

He gave her a small wave when he sat down, and then his back was to her like it was for eight hours a day now.

Her present hadn’t been enough. Her present was more like a pen. She needed more than a pen to remind him of who they were. Who they could be together.

She flirted with the idea of pulling him aside one day after work, or with going to his house and standing with a boom-box over her head, begging him to love her again.
When she bought her new car she had made sure that it had a tape deck. The teapot cassette tape that had that Travis song they had listened to and that same Peter Gabriel song was always in the player, even though she had all of the songs on her not-iPod already.



No one thinks this will work... You’ve just described every great success story.



She knew it needed to be big. That she needed some sort of gesture that would make up for all of the time that she had wasted. He had been embarrassed in front of the entire office before on her account. Maybe it was her turn.

She found herself walking down the stairs to the warehouse. Asking Darryl to borrow his iPod speakers. She tried to pretend that she hadn’t seen Roy walking up to her, wanting to say hello.

“Can I borrow your iPod?”

He looked at her, lips pursed and eyes wide.

“Okay, what for?”

She didn’t answer as she took it from him. From the man in a world full of guys.

“Pam?”

She walked back to her desk, iPod in hand. She knew it would be on there. Well, she hoped anyway. Hoped that he hadn’t erased every scrap of memory between them.

She clicked on Playlists and scrolled. She stopped on the one titled ‘Pam.’

She scrolled again, thinking to herself how many P’s that was. Playlist. Pam. Peter Gabriel.

She thought about choosing the Travis song instead, but decided to stick with the classic. Just to make sure that she got her painfully obvious point across.

She clicked the iPod into Darryl’s speakers. He was still watching her from his desk, even though that meant he was turned almost all the way around in his chair. Karen had noticed him too.

She took a breath, clicked Play (another P), and held the whole stupid contraption over her head.

She tried not to break from his eyes, but it was hard not to notice Michael bobbing his head to the music in his office. Or Phyllis smiling at her. Or Ryan rolling his eyes. Or Dwight reminding her about the rules of volume etiquette in the workplace.
Her cheeks felt warm. She knew it was because this was just so goddamn embarrassing. And all he was doing was staring. His eyebrows raised, his mouth open just enough.

She waited for his eyes to flicker towards Karen. They didn’t.

Her elbows started to tremble a little and she wondered how much longer she should drag this out. But she found the song ending with her hands still held above her head.

The silence of the room was a little too much to handle. She put the speakers down and walked calmly out the front door.



One question. Are you here because you need someone, or you need me? Forget it, I don’t really care.


“So… what—I mean, what was… that?”

He was standing about three steps up from her in the stairwell.

“Um… last ditch effort, I guess?” She found it hard to look at him.

“I think first ditch effort might sum it up a little better…” He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes heavy on hers.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. Listen, I know you’re with…. I just, thought. I’m sorry.”

She turned to leave him. She hadn’t really thought any of this through. She had just humiliated herself. Maybe she should move to Connecticut.

“You know… that’s not really how this is supposed to go, Pam.”

His hand was grasping hers. Asking her to stay.

“So… how does it go?”

He smiled a little. The kind of smile that read like he was still trying to decide whether this was reality or a dream.

“I think you know.”

She felt herself relax for a moment.

“I love you,” she smiled up at him now. “How many more times do I have to say it?”

She felt his arms slip around her waist and then they were on the same step.

“One more time would be nice.”



So, when you hear the smoking sign go 'ding' you know everything’s going to be okay.



“I’ll be right here. I’ll go with you. Do you want me to go with you?”

She couldn’t help but smile through her nerves just to settle his.

“No, I’ll be okay. Just be here when it’s over… okay?”

He kissed her forehead and she pulled her hand away.

“And Pam?”

She turned back to him.

He lost his words and looked down at his shoes. “Nothing… it’s nothing. I guess I just…”

“I love you too, Jim.”



Alright, I’m just going to keep talking until that 'ding' happens, which is going to be soon.



“Wait, I—I don’t understand. Halpert? Why… why are you with Jim Halpert?”

Roy’s hands were to his face. The face that had kissed her so many times.

“He made me laugh.”



DinkinFlicka is the author of 27 other stories.
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