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Jim Halpert sat in his car in the parking lot of the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Products company and contemplated whether or not he wanted to go inside.


Two days ago he had a lunch interview with the Regional Manager, Michael Scott. They met at Chili’s and Michael talked a lot about himself. In fact, as far as interviews go, it was the easiest one Jim had ever been on. Michael seemed much more interested in impressing Jim than he was in having Jim try to impress him. It felt less like an interview and more like a…well, a date. It was odd.


Yesterday afternoon Jim received a message on his voice mail from someone named Pam who told him that Michael Scott would like to schedule a follow up interview. He called back immediately and set the follow up for today.


Now here he sat in the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot wondering if he was really desperate enough to want to sell paper and work for someone like Michael Scott. He took a deep breath and headed inside.


When he walked in there was no one sitting at the front desk. He looked around the office and all of the employees were either staring at their computers or talking on the phone. None of them were paying any attention to the stranger who just walked in through their doors.


Jim contemplated subtly clearing his throat or maybe just yelling at the top of his lungs. He had a feeling neither move would get him any more notice. Just then Michael bounded out of the office on his left and shouted, “Rookie!”


It took Jim a moment to realize he was referring to him.


“Where’s Pam?” Michael asked suddenly to the guy sitting across from his office.


“Lunch,” the bespectacled man answered without looking up from his desk.


Michael sighed, rolled his eyes, and then looked at Jim. “Women, eh? All she has to do is greet people and answer phones, but for some reason she needs an hour for lunch.”


Jim just smiled politely unsure of how to respond to that.


“Well, come on into my office, Rook.”


Jim followed him into the office and noticed as he passed the desk of the man across from Michael’s office that he was drawing stick figures in boxes. Some sort of cartoon maybe. There were at least ten pages scattered around his desk. Odd.


Jim sat in a chair across from Michael’s desk and watched as he sat down on the other side and proudly picked up a mug that said “Worlds Best Boss” and winked at him. Well, someone around here must like him.

“So, Jimbo, guess you’re wondering why I called you back in, huh?”


“Yes, sir. Good news I hope.”


“Very good news. I want to hire you for our sales position.”


“That’s great news, sir.”


“Ah, don’t call me sir! Call me Michael. We’re all friends around here, Jimmy. I’m not just a boss here. I’m a friend. I’m a big brother. An uncle. We’re like a big, happy family and I’m the dad. I’m your coach. You come to me if you need anything and I’ll take care of it. I like to think of myself as a sort of Ghandi. Only funnier.”


“You wear a lot of hats,” Jim replied trying hard to figure out if Michael was attempting to be funny now.


“I don’t like to wear hats,” he said looking slightly confused.


“Oh.” Guess not.


“Well, Rookie, lets get you started! I’ll just introduce you to everyone first. Come on.”


Michael led the way out of his office and stopped first at the desk of the aspiring cartoon artist.


“Dwight,” Michael said putting his arm around Jim, “this is the newest member of our sales team, Jim Halpert.”


Dwight lifted his eyes from his desk and looked Jim up and down. Jim extended his hand and Dwight took it, stood up, and stared hard at Jim.


“Dwight K. Schrute,” the peculiar one said while still holding Jim’s hand. “Sales Manager. I own a beet farm, I study karate, and I know how to speak Klingon. Fluently.”


“Impressive,” said Jim trying to get his hand back.


“Dwight, let go of his hand. You weirdo,” Michael said


Dwight squeezed Jim’s hand hard one last time and glared at him as Michael led him away. Truly, truly odd.


They made their way around the office and Jim met a Stanley and a Phyllis and a Margaret and then he stopped trying to remember names. He was noticing that all of the employees, while nice enough, seemed to have a glazed look in their eyes. Almost like they were machines that were working without thinking and possibly praying for sweet relief come 5:00.


By the time Jim met a man named Kevin who didn’t say anything but smiled at him strangely and offered him some M&M’s from a very large canister, he was sure that this wasn’t the job for him. He didn’t want to sell paper. He didn’t want to work for Michael Scott who was already annoying him by nicknaming him Rookie. Most of all, he really didn’t want to work with someone as disturbing as Dwight K. Schrute. No, it was time to get out before it was too late.


“There she is finally,” mumbled Michael as they made their way back up to the reception area. “Have a nice long lunch, Pam?”


Jim saw that the girl Michael was talking to was beating on the fax machine and grunting in frustration with each hit. With one final bang on the side of the machine she turned around. Jim caught a glimpse of her face and suddenly forgot how to breathe.


“We need a new fax machine, Michael,” she said. “I can’t send anything.”


“Well, I’m sure beating it isn’t helping. Maybe that works with the men in your life though. Beat them into submission and get what you want. Huh, Pam?” Michael laughed and glanced at Jim obviously looking for support.


Once again Jim just smiled awkwardly, but not before noticing Pam roll her eyes behind Michael.


“Pam, this is our new guy, Jim. He’s starting Monday. I need you to get all of his paperwork together and show him where he’ll be sitting. All that good stuff.”


“I think Toby has all of the paperwork for new employees,” she said.


“Well, then I need you to get Toby to get all of his paperwork together. All right, Pam? Work with me,” Michael sighed in frustration.


Turning back to Jim he said, “Welcome aboard, Rookie! Keep your head to the grindstone and your nose clean and show us what you’re made of.” He laughed again and rapped Jim on the head with his fist. Jim was sure the next move would be a noogie, so he backed away quickly and attempted to shake his hand.


“Thanks, Michael,” he said.


Instead of returning the handshake Michael smacked his hand and then turned around and put his hand behind him. “On the flipside,” he said.


Jim looked at Pam who once again rolled her eyes. Jim slapped Michael’s hand and then watched him strut back to his office. Oh, boy.

Pam looked at him now and smiled. Jim forgot how to breathe again.


“You get used to him,” she said.


“Really?” He wasn’t so sure you could ever get used to someone like Michael Scott.


“Yeah. After a while it’s like background noise. You just smile and nod. Maybe throw in a laugh for good measure.”


“I’ll remember that.”


She smiled again and held out her hand. “I’m Pam by the way.”


Jim prayed that his hand wasn’t sweaty and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. Receptionist extraordinaire?”


“That’s me,” she said while picking up the phone. “Toby, there’s a Jim…” she looked at him questioningly.


“Halpert,” he said.


“Halpert up front. Michael’s hiring him for the sales position and he needs to do his paperwork. Ok, thanks.” She hung up the phone and looked at him again.


“So, have you always done sales?” she asked.


“Yeah, mostly. My plan here is to become lead salesman within my first week. Then I’ll become Sales Manager the next week. I’ll be promoted to Director the following week and then right after that they’ll make me VP. I figure within at least the next month I’ll be the president of Dunder-Mifflin.”


She laughed, “Very ambitious.”


“I try,” he smiled.


“Well, you know,” she said leaning in towards him and whispering, “this whole receptionist thing is just a ruse. I’m actually a spy for J&L Paper. I’m slowly weaving myself into the Dunder-Mifflin infrastructure to learn all of their paper secrets. As soon as I’ve got enough information, I’m returning to J&L where they’ll reward me by making me a Vice President. I’m sure I’ll get some fancy bonuses too. If you play your cards right, I might take you with me.”


“What will I have to do?” Jim asked.


“Prove yourself a worthy ally.”


“I’ll do my best.”


Pam smiled at him again and Jim was sure he was sweating now. Her eyes moved over his shoulder and he turned around. A man who Michael somehow missed during the introductions was coming towards them with a large stack of papers.


“Hi, Jim. I’m Toby,” he said and Jim once again noticed that glazed looked. “Here’s the papers we need you to fill out. I’ll get you a clipboard and you can sit over here and complete everything. You’ll just need to sign this and initial this and sign here and…”


Jim looked back up at Pam who laughed at the bemused expression on his face while Toby continued explaining what he needed to fill out. She handed him a pen and he tried not to notice when her finger brushed against his hand.


“So, just finish all of that and then I’ll show you where your desk will be,” Toby finished.


“Ok, thanks,” said Jim. He went over to the chairs in the reception area and sat down. He stared at the paper in front of him and blinked. Did he really want to work here? He looked around again at the people in the office. The blank faces were still focused on their computer screens. He just noticed that the only empty desk was right next to the Klingon King’s. He also noticed that it was right across from…


He looked over to the receptionist desk and Pam was looking at him. He gave her a small smile and she returned the smile quickly and turned back to her computer. He was sure he saw her blush.


Jim sighed, looked at the pen in his hand and signed his name to the first form.


Welcome to Dunder-Mifflin, Jim Halpert.



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