He stared at the large pieces of jagged green ceramic scattered in his wastebasket.

It had been a completely normal day.  He was a little sidetracked when Pam had come in an hour before with a stack of reports for him.  When she set the papers down onto the desk she’d knocked his ashtray onto the ground.  It shattered completely on the hardwood floors.  He’d snapped at her.  Cursed even.

And now he couldn’t get the image out of his mind of her pacing in front of his desk with tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.  Swearing to pay him back, begging him to take it out of her salary.

Maybe Jim was feeling more than little distracted.  His mother needed nurses 24/7.  Everyone suggested sending her to a home but he couldn’t do it.  He already felt guilty enough about the fact that he was too inadequate to take care of the woman who’d raised him.  

It was well past five when Pam knocked on his doorframe. 

“Sir, I need to ask you something before I go.”

He didn’t look up at her, “Yes?”

“Can I please have a few days off next week?  I have…there are some things I need to take care of.”

“Sure.” He grumbled, “And you know what? It might be better if you don’t come back.”

“Why not?” she asked meekly, folding her hands across her stomach.

It was as if something inside of him snapped.  Everything he had been holding in since the first time her laid eyes on her suddenly cam spilling out.

“Because I can’t sit in here with you everyday and not touch you.  I can’t have a conversation with you without telling you how much I love you.  A man can only take so much, and I can’t take it anymore.”

She stared at the ground and stammered, “I’m not sure I understand.”

“No! Don’t do this.  Don’t act like you don’t feel it too.”

When she finally looked up from the ground he’d come from behind the desk and he was standing toe to toe with her.  He was staring right through her, begging for an answer, “Tell me.” He demanded.

Before she could find her answer his mouth had covered hers.  His arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her as close as he could. 

Standing there pressed against her he felt a wave of panic. Had he made a mistake?

When Pam’s lips slowly started to move against his he lost every rational thought in his head.

He quickly turned them and lowered her down onto the desk, he pushed his typewriter away with one hand, making a loud scraping sound across the wood. 

Jim moved away from her lips to kiss his way down her neck.  He flicked his tongue across her collarbone, tasting her light, flowery perfume.  She let out a soft cry that gently echoed off the walls of the empty office. 

He needed more of her.  He needed all of her.  He swiftly pulled her skirt up enough to wrap her legs around her waist and press her further into the desk.  She ran her small hands up his back and threaded her fingers through his hair. He pulled his lips away to catch his breath, he reached up to unbutton her blouse.  With every button he kissed the newly exposed skin.  As he hovered over her navel, his hot breath tickling her skin he heard her faintly whisper, “I’ve never…”

His heart sank to the pit of his stomach.

The wave of shame that washed over him carried him straight out the door, leaving Pam sitting on the desk with her skirt wrinkled and her blouse unbuttoned.

He left his hat on the chair.