Hmmm... I'm not sure what to say about this.

I guess I still like the concept and am curious to see where this goes...
But Jim was just so off. All over the place and not in a way that made sense.
Also, your timeline with Jim was odd. Pam texted him two days after he moved to Stamford but he was already with Karen?

But you also wrote this:

'The first thing I did in Stamford was hit the gym. No time to think about Pam when you're working out, I thought. Stupidly. A week went by, and work happened, and all of a sudden the nightly trips to the gym were replaced by all nighters sitting up in bed, just thinking. Thinking about her smile, her curves, THAT KISS.'


He started work a week after moving but was seeing Karen after two days. I don't mean to be harsh or nitpicking but timeline continuity is important to me.

Author's Response:

Hey idnaoj, thanks for the feedback! 

I agree with you that Jim was written poorly. I didn't give much thought to his 'backstory' in Stamford and wrote some things that were irrelevant or conflicted with other parts of the story. 

This was very dreamy :) I do hope you'll come back with more.

Author's Response: I'm currently working on the next installment and hope to get it up soon! Thanks for the review

"Jim, in my experience, most good things are pretty scary at first. But you can't get the good things if you don't try." I love jims dad! And I went back and checked, this was also in is HS reunion letter... nicely done! I'm sure it will show up again sometime in future chapters to haunt Jim.

Your take on Jam and the "art show" is so much more satisfying that what happened on the show. I'm so glad he made the decision to run, he really needed to be there. Such a powerful expression from Jim leading to a very understated beginning. I love the situation you created, so perfect for them.

10

I thought it was absolutely adorable how she claimed Jim wasn't her type and then at the end changed her mind.

This chapter had a completely different feel from the previous two chapters, and I love it. Young Jim and Pam are so adorable. Both battling a bit of nervousness and shyness to figure out how to talk to each other... a bit of courage seeping in. Sweet young love, young Jam love :D

This story so so fun, I t's like reading two different stories in one... We get Jim and Pam as high school sweethearts and we get an AU where they basically meet a little later in a different setting. I've never read a story like this before.

10

First, I'll start by saying I absolutely love the cover it is gorgeous, well done! I love the idea of covers I wish more stories had them.

Second, I love Pam, she's my favorite. Her being so sad and depressed and not in the life that she wants… You kill me.
Knowing she had Jim at one point and lost him somehow and then ended up with Roy? UGH!
Thank you so much for getting roy out of the the picture so quickly. No need to drag that fiasco along anymore right?

It's very difficult for me to see how Jim and Pam could possibly have broken up so I'm kind of nervous and kind of excited to read that part. Especially after reading the letter to herself, that was so heartbreaking. I very much love the ending, especially the part where she heard that fluffy haired boy's voice encouraging her. She gain strength from the memory of him. I cannot wait to see how this plays out.

10

I'm so sorry about the crickets :/
This fandom is very quiet all around, we have a lot of readers and very few reviewer's, very sad. As for me, I usually try to review every chapter as it comes out for new stories but I have had a crummy couple of weeks and forgot to check the homepage. I was incredibly excited to see so many updates to this story, and I was really hoping it would go on throughout the summer for them but I understand why you would want to let it go. I will say, however, reading these last few chapters definitely lifted my spirits. Thank you.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks for the feedback!  It's much appreciated.  I can't really fault people for reading and not reviewing, since I do it myself sometimes- I guess I just expected a little more feedback on a site this big.  Though it could be my writing style or the fact that these episodes aired so long ago- regardless, glad you liked it!

"It was pretty safe to say that Jim was experiencing sensory overload." Ha! No doubt. This line gave me a chuckle.
Actually there were a few lines they gave me a good chuckle, "cunnilingus God" being one of them and another Jim's "promise" to himself to keep her satisfied.
I think you did a really great job getting into Jim's head, Pam too for that matter. And for their first time it seemed about right; shy, nervous, excited, a whole mishmash of emotions. But the best one of all...in love.

I decided to look up this story in case I missed an update, kind of bummed there hasn't been one in a while. I'm really eager to read where you take this. This line really stood out to me upon the re-read tonight...
Sometimes I just don’t get Roy. I mean…is it right to marry someone who doesn’t get you, but yet knows you so well at the same time.

Very good description for her relationship with Roy.

Oh, and I'm adding this to my favorites so I don't miss an update... hopefully soon ;D

1

"It feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears... and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer... and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone... and I'm crying, and nobody can hear me, because I'm terribly, terribly... terribly alone."
:D
I'm ready for that good plot and those cute jam moments! But I fear you have quit a bit of angst left in you...

1

So, it seems like they are really getting to know each other pretty well at this point and are definitely comfortable with each other. They hang out out and talk all a lot, right? Are feelings developing at this point? I don't think it's really been mentioned or really hinted at yet. I must know what happens next! :D

Author's Response:

I did not see this until just now, I am so sorry! I have had writers block with this one for months, I have also lost the original thought that I had and I think I can make it better now that  I have more experience writing these two, so I am thinking of taking this summer to workshop it a bit and republish. I might finish where it's at right now, then workshop it. Who knows. Thank you for reading<3

This is so cute! I love alternate universe so I'm really excited that you're writing this! I can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, for reading and for the lovely compliment!

Your Jim and Pam is spot on!
Jim's confusion and refusal to believe he's hearing what he's hearing and of course Pam Had to get good and drunk to spill her guts and she does it in such a Pam way. Drunk Pam is a favorite of mine, only thing better is a drunk Jim and Pam. I really really enjoyed this and I hope you write more.

Author's Response:

Hi idnaoj80! 

Thank you for such a kind review, I loved reading what you had to say!  I'd love to write a story that incorporates a drunk Jim, or maybe a drunk Jim and Pam moment.  Something I'll definitely think about!  I hope you continue to read my stories and share your thoughts on them.  Your reviews are much appreciated.

Kind regards,

msteapot 

10

And here is one for jims little keepsake box.

I love how you start with Jim torturing himself... but that ends, for the moment, because of a tiny little glimmer of hope.

You write so true to character, it's so easy to hear their voices and see their expressions and feel the emotion, it's so easy to imagine the scenes you are creating as if it were a part of the show.
I look forward to many more of these!

Author's Response:

Hi idnaoj80!  Super glad to hear you're still reading this story!

It's one of the greatest compliments to me, when a reader says they can actually feel the emotion I'm trying to convey.  I try to stay as true to character as possible, while attempting to create an interesting read, almost as if this could be a "behind the scenes" glimpse into the lives at the Office.  I look forward to many more of your reviews!

~ msteapot