Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1
Date: March 10, 2020
Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Okay, I'm not even done reading this chapter yet, but I have to write this down in case I forget it when I do get to the end. "Clear and Present Danger." *Looks up as his personal bookcase to the title of said novel with lead character Jack Ryan.* Nice.
Duck, cover, and kiss your butt goodbye. Loving all the historical references in here too. Satisfies my history nerd as well as adds a lot of depth to this story.
Ok, now that I HAVE reached the end of this chapter, onto more reviews. Yes I can tell it's a rushed proofreading. A few typos or grammar errors here and there. Nothing to distract from the main story mind you, and through context it's obvious what you're trying to say. I still have stuff like that pop up all the time in my writings so no harm no foul.
I kinda like Pam's confused thoughts here. Yes she's gotten to know Jim these past 9 months, but there's still this whole other side of him she doesn't know. Now here they are in the back woods of Kentucky (pick me up some Bourbon while you're there please ;) ) in a small remote cabin and told to stay there for a week. Yes I can easily see how that would be unsettling.
Once again you write Jim's concern for Pam really well. It seems he's working up her list of needs. First immediate physical needs. Get her out of danger, patch up the shoulder, keep her safe. Next food and some other supplies to make a hard situation a bit more manageable with some staples from home. Then his promise that he'll answer all her questions to look out for her emotional needs. Great way to build that all up.
Then of course that cliffhanger. Ugh! We all write them because they're fun as a writer. We all loath them as a reader, but it just leaves on wanting more.
Author's Response: I was wondering it anybody would catch the Jack Ryan reference! It was a total fluke, but I looked it up later to check because I felt like I *knew* that was a Jack Ryan book. I’m so glad you caught it and enjoyed it!
I’m really working on trying to incorporate real events into the story, but I will admit to my own ignorance about many of the things that were happening at the time this story is set. I’m doing research and trying to not go into too much detail so that I’m 1-wrong and 2-detracting from the story I want to tell. So I’m glad you are enjoying the references that are there and they’re adding to the story!
I’ve since gone back and proofed a bit better so feel free to reread 😉 but thank you so much for looking past the mistakes and leaving such a great review! I love hearing what you guys think. I hope to deliver on the cliffhanger very soon!
Author's Response: I was wondering it anybody would catch the Jack Ryan reference! It was a total fluke, but I looked it up later to check because I felt like I *knew* that was a Jack Ryan book. I’m so glad you caught it and enjoyed it!
I’m really working on trying to incorporate real events into the story, but I will admit to my own ignorance about many of the things that were happening at the time this story is set. I’m doing research and trying to not go into too much detail so that I’m 1-wrong and 2-detracting from the story I want to tell. So I’m glad you are enjoying the references that are there and they’re adding to the story!
I’ve since gone back and proofed a bit better so feel free to reread 😉 but thank you so much for looking past the mistakes and leaving such a great review! I love hearing what you guys think. I hope to deliver on the cliffhanger very soon!