Penname: warrior4 Real name: Eric
Member Since: May 31, 2018

Bio:

Author of the Month March 2020

I've been writing fanfiction for awhile now. Just recently discovered The Office and figured I'd try my hand at that as well.

At first I thought of having all my stories in the same universe, but then I had some AU ideas. So any stories that occur within a common universe will be in a given series.


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Reviews by warrior4
Summary: It's 1963 and West Scranton High's new math teacher Jim Halpert has a secret. When it rears its ugly head and puts both him and librarian Pam Beesly in danger, how will he react? Will they be able to outrun his dangerous past or will his enemies catch up to him, once and for all?
Categories: Jim and Pam, Past, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Suspense
Warnings: Adult language, Moderate sexual content, Other Adult Theme, Violence/Injury
Series: None
Chapters: 15 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 43374 Read Count: 14892 ePub Downloads: 32
[Report This] Published: July 04, 2018 Updated: August 21, 2020
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1
Date: August 21, 2020 Title: Chapter 15: Epilogue

Oh yeah, Jim's a teacher and she's the librarian. Anyway this was all sorts of a fun way to wrap this up. I just loved that Jim just waltzed into the library like that. No hiding, no secrets. I'm kinda thinking that when he saw Kelly standing there at the desk he intentionally did all that hugging and kissing. Knowing Kelly won't (can't) keep something like that secret, him showing such sweetness to Pam is him saying "I love you," "I don't mind who sees us together," and also a subtle staking of territory. That last one, knowing that Kelly will spread the rumor far better than any overt display in the teachers lounge or something. Maybe I'm reading to much into this.

The new/first word of the day is the cherry on top of this chapter. A perfect way to show how he feels about her.

I've loved reading and following along with this story. Bravo for keeping with it and seeing it through to the end. It was exciting, suspenseful, steamy, sweet, and full of adventure. Beautifully detailed throughout everything as well. Thanks for weaving this story, it's been a blast.

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat

Summary:

"It was Saturday afternoon and Jim was sitting on his couch watching a basketball game and drinking a beer, when the doorbell rang. Jim was confused, he wasn’t expecting anyone, so he almost didn’t answer the door because it was probably some door to door salesman he had no time for. But he did. He launched himself from the couch and swung open the door. And saw nothing. Something moved below him in his peripheral vision, and his eyes snapped down."

Set around Season 2ish, before Casino Night.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: None
Genres: Kids/Family
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 2529 Read Count: 2369 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: July 07, 2018 Updated: September 03, 2018
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: July 07, 2018 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

A review in two parts: by warrior4

Part the first: You have an interesting concept here and the start of what could be a good story. In some ways it's a tad unrealistic though. If Katy had already talked to a social worker, there's no way any social worker I've ever met would agree that Katy leaving a 2 month old baby alone on a door step in the middle of January with a paper saying "sign here" would be good. Now I get that this is fiction and we can suspend disbelief for a bit as well. But it might be something to clear up.

Part the second: You may want to clean up the formatting a bit. The first two paragraphs are easy to read because her online there are breaks. Those breaks make it easier to follow who's talking and the like. Then when Pam comes over it's this wall of text on the left side of the screen that tends to run together. Also adding in more narration and description rather than just dialogue will help flesh out how you want the story to come across. One of my favorite authors once said it's the writers job to "paint a picture with words."

Big long review that I hope you found encouraging. It's a good idea and a decent start.

Author's Response:

Thank you! 

1)I agree it's a little out there, so I hope the suspension of disbelief works out on that one. 

2)I will keep these things in mind for the future chapters. Like I said it just wrote itself over the course of an hour at about 10 at night, so it's not totally perfect. 

These are the reviews that I love, I always appreciate help. Thank you so much again, for reading and reviewing <3 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: September 03, 2018 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

This chapter got kind of confusing. There were a lot of times it was just two people talking but there was little context to know who was talking or where. The exchange Jim and Larissa have about the paternity test is a good example of that. We go right into the scene right from another without any description. I was very confused at first and didn't know who was talking. I was able to figure it out, but it took a couple re-readings to be sure. I'd really recommend you have someone read your chapters once your finished with them so you can make adjustments before you post.

So that's the technical side. Story wise, it's nice to see Pam help Jim out. Caring soul that she is. Adding a baby to the Casino Night dynamic is an interesting twist on the familiar tale. How that's all going to play out could make for a compelling scenario.

Author's Response: I tried putting horizontal lines in between each scene and it wasn't working at the time, so I'll try again, maybe a different way when I have little more time. You are always so helpful, so thank you for both the writing help and reading! 

Summary:

She sits on the couch and cries. Until she hears a knock at the door.


Categories: Alternate Universe, Jim and Pam
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Oneshot
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1046 Read Count: 1685 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: August 02, 2018 Updated: August 02, 2018
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1
Date: August 02, 2018 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Good job for your first fic. You conveyed their emotions very well and the ending was very sweet. Keep it up.

Author's Response: Thank you! 

Summary: Jim and Pam's first date. Set immediately after "The Job". 
Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Fluff, Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 10120 Read Count: 12729 ePub Downloads: 6
[Report This] Published: August 14, 2018 Updated: August 14, 2018
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1
Date: August 14, 2018 Title: Chapter 3: After "The Date".

This started out very sweet as most First Date fics tend to do. The addition of steam was a nice touch as many fics wait a while to get to that point. Great writing too. Very detailed and descriptive throughout all three chapters. Very easy to see in the minds eye what's going on. Well done you.

Author's Response:

Thank you thank you! High praise indeed!

I love a slow burn as much as anyone else, but I felt the need for a quick resolution with this one. Maybe I’ll try my hand at a more drawn out, UST-filled one sometime ;) 

I really appreciate your feedback!! 

Summary:

Jim and Pam debate the merits of expiration dates. 

References to "Launch Party" (S4E5/6). 


Categories: Jim and Pam, Present
Characters: Jim, Pam
Genres: Oneshot
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 679 Read Count: 1511 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: August 26, 2018 Updated: August 26, 2018
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1
Date: August 26, 2018 Title: Chapter 1: Expiration Dates

Very cute to see them like this. Lots of classic JAM banter that we all know and love. Short and sweet, but then again not everything needs to be an epic.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks. It's true, not everything needs to be an epic. I mostly write one-shots, to be honest. Epics are not usually my thing unless I'm especially compelled. :) Glad you liked the banter--this practically wrote itself in under a half-hour. :) Thanks so much, as always, for your thoughts and readership! I love hearing what you think!

Summary: AU. Pam moves from Scranton to Philly because she scored a new job at a new rising company called Athlead! While out one night celebrating in Philly Pam decides to let lose and enjoy herself only to realize the next day that was with her new boss, President and CEO Jim Halpert.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Romance
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 22 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 71978 Read Count: 46388 ePub Downloads: 18
[Report This] Published: August 28, 2018 Updated: February 04, 2020
Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: October 25, 2018 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

I like this chapter. After some of the awkwardness prior to this it feels good to see them slow down a tad. Canon Jim and Pam work so well since they're such good friends. I like that this version of Jim and Pam are following suit. Clearly they're attracted to each other which is lots of fun to see.

I also like how Jim is encouraging Pam's art here too. That's another staple from the show you've got working well too. And that's the thing, there are so many elements of classic JAM that are great. Seeing those elements in a new light in this tale is just as compelling.

Author's Response: You are like the greatest reviewer haha thank you so much  for reading again!   JAM is really the best couple I know of.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: February 04, 2020 Title: Chapter 22: Just an update

Thank you for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to be so honest and open about the trials of life. My deepest condolences to you and yours in the loss of your Mother, especially in the way you described. Clearly it was and still is a difficult time for you.

I'm glad your starting to find your spark again though. I know I've used writing in the past to deal with heavy emotions. Being able to sit down and organize things and get things out exactly how you want can be a boon during a hard time.

Glad you're not abandoning this story as it's very well written. Hope to see an update on it soon.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: September 05, 2019 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21

I was kind of figuring there would be some fall out from what happened in Canada. Skin them alive Pam. I hope she kept records of all the times she was contacted by he-who-I-choose-not-to-name and how she wouldn't respond back. Make the jury see that he was stalking her and she didn't want any part of it let alone encourage his advances.

But I'm kind of getting ahead of myself here. Pam's joy about the proposal and the ring was a delight. I loved how simply happy she was about it all. Great to see.

One thing that did stick out though. When Pam and Jim got up for work the next day you seemed to imply that she and Jim had celebratory sex with the line, "noticeably sore from our activities last night." Then you go on to write that she and Jim haven't had sex since before Toronto. Either way works, but it does add some confusion that took me out of the story a bit.

Other than that, glad to see an update.

Author's Response:

Thank you for that catch Warrior! I went ahead an fixed it, no matter how many times I read through it I still missed it so thank you!

Thanks for the review as always, I can count on you for a great review.  

Glad to be back! 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: April 04, 2019 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Yes glad you're back. Thanks for the time jump there. Get away from all the nastiness that happened and move onto better times. We'll just say that Pam was and still is able to work through everything that happened in healthy ways, yes? Yes.

Anyway getting onto this chapter, specifically the end. I do think it's kind of funny that Pam almost proposed like that. I could almost see the worry in Jim's face as I pictured him rushing into the closet to get the ring. Nice visuals there. Like I said earlier, glad to see you back. Hope to see more updates soon too/

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: March 01, 2019 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

I really like the support Betsy gives Pam here. That yes she's been through a really hard situation but that it's not hopeless. The fact that Pam has such a wonderful support system in place hopefully will be nothing but a good thing for her. Glad to see this updated as I was starting to wonder about it. Considering last chapter I don't blame you for feeling a bit burned out. This was a nice way to start easing out way back to how things were before.

Author's Response: Thanks so much as always warrior, yeah I was just pooped. I got a promotion, I'm about to go on vacation and im just exhausted. But im so glad you read it and stayed tune and reviewed!!!! 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: January 28, 2019 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Ok, first off one small but important thing, at least from my perspective. EMT truck? Really? The term is ambulance and yes they do have them in Canada.

All right now that I've got that out of my paramedic system. Well done on your for creating emotion. Even before I started reading this chapter I felt my pulse quicken a bit. Skipping past what Roy did, cause the less said about the specifics the better, even though you did a good job writing it, the image of Jim pounding in Roy's face just in the nick of time was good , if that's the right word, to see.

Pam's reaction afterwards is very realistic. As part of my job I've unfortunately had to respond to similar calls. Pam just sitting there in shock, seemingly trapped in her own mind and body is actually very similar to how some of my patients reacted.

I love that Jim is just there for her. He's not pushing her to talk about anything. Especially since this is all just so raw. He's just simply there for her. I'm sure his continuing love and support is what will help Pam through all of this.

So all in all a powerful and intense chapter to be sure. Well written and very detailed. Glad we'll be getting back to fluff soon as that's always more fun to read.

Author's Response: I was looking forward to your review hahah I was so nervous because I remembered you were part of that, sorry for the miss! It was definitely fun I told BOY how my heart was pounding when writing this because its the most intense thing I've ever written. I suffer from sleep paralysis and panic attacks so I felt like I was able to kill the internal struggle but the actual assault took some research. SO glad you enjoyed it warrior, you are like a reviewer mentor to me haha I look for your reviews for where I can review so thanks as always!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: January 25, 2019 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Yeah, I figured Roy wouldn't take things well. Hopefully Jim arrives in the nick of time. Roy has always deserved a good ass kicking and hopefully this time around Jim will be the one to deliver it.

Great chapter as always.

Author's Response: You may just get what you wish for warrior, grab your whiskey and some pop corn.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: January 20, 2019 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Excellent chapter so far. Darryl's right. When you know, you know. Kinda make sense that this Pam wouldn't have as much experience dealing with the eclectic personalities of the office.

I really love how infatuated Jim and Pam are with each other. Lots of fun steamy fluff that's great to see.

I like the reference pics too. Great way to see what's going on in your mind when writing this one. Looking forward to the next chapter as always.

Author's Response: They way I wrote Darryl is actually the way my fiancés grandfather told him when he wanted to propose but he thought it was too soon and he literally said who fucking cares marry the girl hahaha. I have a ton of reference pictures I'm way too visual to not have them hahah thanks again as always warrior!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: January 16, 2019 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Filler chapter yes, but fun. Good description on the ring. I like how easily Jim fits in with the family. Nice to see some moments like these rather than just all drama all the time.

Author's Response: Thank you! I get nervous about fillers and if they're boring.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: January 11, 2019 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Very nice. I love the day after with Pam and Helene. Way to lay on the charm Jim. After all it's one thing to woo the lady, it's another thing to be accepted by the lady's family. Telling Karen off like that, yes might have been a tad harsh, but considering how she was acting, it was worth it. Good for this version of Jim to be secure enough in his feelings to be able to lay it out there like this. Makes for a very refreshing change of pace.

Author's Response: Roys bye bye is going to be a bit more in depth haha this smooth bf Jim is what I picture John to be in real life just total smooth bad ass, trying to get this and the next filler chapter out of the way and Canada here we come!!!! Thanks as always warrior!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: January 08, 2019 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

I like how protective Jim is here. That he just wants to keep Pam safe and take care of her, yet at the same time realizing she needs time to processes everything that's happened.

Pam's need to get everything out of her head seems very real in this context. Very descriptive writing that shows they have a very strong connection. Hopefully that connection will allow to tell Roy to take a flying leap next time she sees him since she's so clearly with Jim here.

Author's Response:

Honestly descriptive writing is where I struggle the most so this means a ton thanks again warrior!!!!

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: November 15, 2018 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Lots of fun callbacks to the show here. A new version of Pam Pong. Andy, well being Andy regardless of what universe he's in. Kelly going ga-ga over anything she finds cute. Lots of good fun. I also like how Pam is a bit more forward here. Asking Jim directly about his past rather than letting things stew and get out of hand. The payoff for that on his desk was great. Still doing a great job with this.

Author's Response: The fact that you review with a newborn at home is amazing, thank you so much for alway taking the time means a ton!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: December 11, 2018 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Kinda figured Pam would get in trouble as some point with all the mention of robberies and such. Glad she didn't get more hurt than just some cuts and scrapes. Protective Jim is great. Roy remains terrible. Glad he's a country away in this story rather than just downstairs in the warehouse. Glad to see an update too.

Author's Response: I'm always astonishes how you manage to review so quickly with a newborn, blows my mind every time. Thank you so much for always reviewing Warrior means a ton!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: September 03, 2018 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

I'll add to what another reviewer has said. There are a few errors that distract as one reads. Probably the biggest I saw was the line; "But nine bedrooms and seven bedroom its get's extremely lonely." More than likely you wanted to say something like; "But with nine bedrooms and seven bathroom it gets extremely lonely." A lot of times when I've finished writing a chapter I'll leave it alone for a full day. Get my mind off writing and go do something else. After a day has gone by I'll go back and start re-reading what I've written and I find I catch a lot of the errors I didn't see before.

Other than that we've basically transplanted Dunder-Mifflin here. It'll be interesting to see the characters bounce off each other like that. Of course it'll also be interesting to see the Jim and Pam relationship unfold with this kind of start.

Author's Response: Thanks for another review!!!!! I love that idea about leaving it alone for a day before going back to it. I think I will definitely do that. Thanks so much :):);)

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: September 21, 2018 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Kinda cute little moment there as they got past their awkwardness. I do like that they both seem more mature afterwards. I'm sure there's still underlying tension, how could there not be, but you had them both handling themselves well after that first meeting.

Looking forward to more.

Author's Response:

Thanks for keeping up with the story seriously means a lot! 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1
Date: September 25, 2018 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Very sweet. Obviously they're still a bit awkward about the previous night, but it's nice to see things starting to bloom.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: September 29, 2018 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Good chapter. I liked their interaction on the plane. Good friendship building going on there. I also think it's great that Pam is starting to doodle sports sketches. Great new way to show her artistic side.

One thing I'd say is for you to remember your audience. While this is an AU it's also still an Office fanfic. Most people who come to this site are already aware of the various personalities of the cast from the Office. Also this was the second time you've introduced us to the cast. Yes that one was from Jim's POV and now this is from Pam's, but again we (the reader) already know most of what you've said. Unless there's a specific trait you want to highlight then maybe go into further detail.

Other than that I'm looking forward to seeing how the Toronto meeting goes. The mention of Roy sparked my interest.

Author's Response: Thanks for always reviewing means a lot! Hopefully the Roy spark lives up to your expectations! 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: October 06, 2018 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Great chapter. To me this is a variation on the tension that is the early canon JAM relationship. Obviously they're attracted to each other, but early on in the relationship there's just something in the way. In the show it was Pam being engaged and then later Jim being with Karen. Here you've got the same feel but with the two of them being, almost to prideful, if that's the way to put it, to really talk.

Makes for a very compelling story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for always reviews with your awesome comments!!! That’s basically what I am going for and it just gets even crazier hahaha thanks again! 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed
Date: October 03, 2018 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

That's a very different take on Roy. You made it hard to not like him so there's that. Can't blame Pam for not enjoying the attention though. It's natural to feel good when someone says something validating to you. Still being the JAM lover I am, I'm still rooting for Jim and Pam to figure things out. Seems like it's going that way.

Author's Response: Right?!?! Always a sucker for the wrong men. Jam will definitely happen. I do plan on this to be a long story.