Penname: fasterthansnakes Real name:
Member Since: January 12, 2007

Bio:

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Reviews by fasterthansnakes
Summary:

Crossover with "My Name is Earl". Pam is on Earl's list, and it's up to him make things right. Pre-Casino Night.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Crossover
Characters: Jim, Other, Pam, Roy
Genres: Angst, Fluff, Humor
Warnings: Adult language, Violence/Injury
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 2965 Read Count: 9612 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: January 23, 2007 Updated: February 26, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 26, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: The List

I cannot believe you stopped, you are evil! if you don't continue soon you're going to have to come and visit us all soon to cross us off YOUR karma list. Hee hee just kidding! but I love this story!

Summary:

Typical slow days at the office with the Ladies of Dunder Mifflin.


Categories: Other, Present
Characters: Angela, Karen, Kelly, Meredith, Pam, Phyllis
Genres: Humor, Workdays
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 84 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 109602 Read Count: 322748 ePub Downloads: 30
[Report This] Published: February 04, 2007 Updated: October 22, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: March 12, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

I was going to write Karen must DIE! but I can see others have already voiced that sentiment, I do feel sorry for that little witch though, I mean come on to have had Jim Halpert and the word marriage linked to her? It's pretty hard to get over that :) That said I WANT MORE! You would think that I'm an actual baby not a pregnant woman, but hey pregnant women have cravings and right now this story is it :) (that and cheeseburgers)

Author's Response: Well. I'm thinking of linking the words 'marriage', 'Jim Halpert', and 'Kelly'. Just kind of in the back of my mind. Will you be throwing cheeseburgers at me if I do that???

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: March 12, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

In the words of Kevin "niiiiiiice"

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: March 22, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

1. please never end this story.

2. continue jam flirting, this is good.

3. when you finally bring down Karen make it embarassing and spectacular



Author's Response: 1. check 2. check 3. check, double check, laser beams set on: embarassing and spectacular.

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: March 31, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

Here's to Karen getting a clue! or rather Jim being stunned by home lame his girlfriend is. Great plan Karen! Glad to see it worked out for you :)

Author's Response: Oh, don't count Karen out yet. She's still in the game. A girl who excels at Call of Duty knows how to choose her battles.

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 04, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

dum..dum...dum...

Just when I thought you couldn't make me hate karen even just a tinsiest bit more...

I really, really, really want you to make Pam and Jim hook up in FRONT of her now, and then have her ritualistically mocked by all the other office workers. Or something else REALLY bad...like have her hook up with Andy.

That would teach her.

Or you can just go with Kev's suggestion, I'd be down for that :) 

 

 



Author's Response: As you wish. Hot sex between Jim and Pam in front of Karen. I'll see what I could do. Ritualistic mocking...sure, why not. Hooking up with Andy...and Creed. Check. Check. It's on my to-do list. And Kev...should be writing fanfic! Hari-kari!!! Nice!

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 10, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

so I was so excited to see Karen finally break, and the possibility of her leaving, great! But then my next thought was, if Karen leaves then Jim and pam will eventually get together and this story will be over. And I never want this story to be over. sorry if that's a lot of pressure but keeping us entertained is a serious responsibility, if you don't realize that then maybe you need a refresher from the JAM manual, there will be a quiz on monday

Author's Response:

I'd like to see that quiz:

1) How hot is Jim Halpert? a) hot, b) very hot, c) holy god in heaven hot
2) Who doesn't want to sleep with Jim Halpert? a)Pam b)Jan c)Everyone wants to sleep with Jim Halpert.
3) Who does Pam Beesly love? a)her keds b)her Mom c)Jim Halpert d)all of the above

Yeah. Bring it on, fasterthansnakes. Bring it.

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 16, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

karen will go to san fran as jim's spouse over our dead bodies. that means you must kill her (oh wait...that doesn't actually but kill her anyway!) that girl SO  SO SO deserves to see jim and pam go at it on her desk.

Author's Response: Okay, see now if I kill Karen then who will have sex with Andy/Drew in the end? Really, fts, you've got to think these things through.

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 19, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

Hmm...why would Karen possibly be concerned about Jim having access to all their emails. Could it be the fact that she told everyone he slept with a hooker? Oooh I can't wait until she gets BUSTED! she does get busted right? jim and pam better make out on her desk or I'm going to have to write a karen/creed story to make her suffer.

Author's Response: Hey, he told her he saw a hooker in Philadelphia...so maybe he wasn't so specific on how much of her he saw, how long he saw her, and how far he was from said hooker. Let's give Karen the benefit the doubt..... Nah, she's shaking in her shoes. I would like to read a Karen/Creed story. You could make it a threesome and add Andy/Drew and my life would be complete!

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 20, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

I'm the 600th review! Hooray! That is a serious accomplishment, for you I mean, the fact that you've had us spellbound for 57 (!) chapters, intense.

There is so much I love about the things you choose to be...I loved the pirates of the carribean theme and Jim as the douchey british guy (and the unknown of whether it's the villain or orlando bloom- brilliant), cinnamon random but hillarious, pam's shoulder's dancing and jim's reaction, karen being a tool, ugh. perfect. friggin. chapter.



Author's Response:

You are a member of the mighty 600 club! Congratulations! That entitles you to a behind the scenes peek at my upcoming story "When the Reviewers Set Jim Halpert Down for a Little Talk" I keep having to rewrite it because all my favorite reviewers in the 600 club keep writing better and better reviews....

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: May 01, 2007 Title: Chapter 63: Chapter 63 - Jim plays it cool

OHMIGOD!

You have been baiting us all this while Muggins, I can't believe you've had a 62 chapter build-up to this, the BEST CHAPTER EVER. There are so many amazing things about this, I for one LOVE whipped!Jim (in moderation of course) and this was so cute... "

  • He could not for the life of him figure out what the best was, if this was the worst."
  • “The only way Dwight wouldn’t be here is if Sauron was fighting Voldemort in his front yard for control of the universe.”  Sigh I LOVE THIS! I can't wait to see what these two cook up! poor dwight, this must be killing him!!!!


Author's Response: Well Snakes I write like I... no, I can't write that, it's just too dirty. There might be kids reading this. Now I know what you mean by whipped!Jim but when I first read that I thought you meant Jim with Cool Whip on his....no I can't write that either, um.... and so I just want to thank you very,very,very much for that image. Now if I can only think of a way to work it in. (TWSS)

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: May 03, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Kiss the Bobble Head

Dear Ms. Muggins,

Please post another chapter of this most excellent story before the weekend. Otherwise I will go mad.

Best Wishes,

Snakes 

 



Author's Response:

Dear Snakes,

Done.

Best Wishes,

Ms. Muggins

Sheer by goodmatch Rated: MA [Reviews - 41] 13
Summary: Present day, Jim works at Dunder Mifflin but pam never did. He goes to a strip club for his birthday and she is a stripper there... I got this idea after I saw Employee of the Month with Jenna Fischer and didn't decide to do anything about it until after Jim said he had never seen a stripper and Jenna was approached by Elizabeth and told her she could strip. I just loved the idea of the "Damsel in Distress", Enjoy!
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 8182 Read Count: 20037 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 04, 2007 Updated: February 13, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 10, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: The Club

I love this story but question: so Jim just turned 21? how was he on a reality tv show at dunder-mifflin a few years ago? And Pam is in her late 20s?

A truly nominal point, but this story is H-O-T 

 



Author's Response: Dammit. Good point.

I guess I will have to change that. Thanks hahah


Author's Response: Alright... So I realized the only place I had him as 21 was the story summary. It is not his 21st birthday. He's in his late twenties... fixed. Sorry! haha

Summary:

It all starts at Phyllis' Wedding. Jim and Pam's lives completely change after they've both moved on....to New York City, that is.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Future
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Romance
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 25615 Read Count: 34530 ePub Downloads: 6
[Report This] Published: February 05, 2007 Updated: February 16, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 07, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Something to Give Up

this story freaking rules, but um...it is not fluff.

Summary: Pam finds an old photo of someone from her past. Future fic.
Categories: Future, Jim and Pam
Characters: Pam
Genres: Oneshot
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 701 Read Count: 1985 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 07, 2007 Updated: February 07, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 07, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Affections Fade Away And Do Adults Learn To Play

I love the Pam storyline, but I hate that Jim married Karen, she is so not right for him. But then again they're characters on a tv show (which is what i tell myself often)

Summary: It's all about becoming the Fancy New Beesley, really it is. A series of short-ish pieces running from "Business School" to "Cocktails,"  this story was started right after Phyllis' Wedding as a speculation and flight of fancy based on available spoilers for those episodes.  As you can see, things didn't quite turn out the way I'd planned.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam, Karen, Roy
Genres: Fluff, Romance
Warnings: Adult language
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 9123 Read Count: 39276 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 10, 2007 Updated: June 22, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 20, 2007 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: The Runner-Up

I have a sneaking suspicion that since I'm a giant goof off who happens to be good at standardized tests karen would hate me. That's ok because I'm really really starting to hate Karen. I love what you've done here, I don't really believe that she's that manipulative but I do see how she is all about the big W-I-N and she'll be damned if she lets a catch like Jim halpert slip through her fingers.

 

P.S. I L-O-V-E this story. More More More!



Author's Response: I'm a goof-off who's good at standardized tests, too!  But I'm also a skinny so-called "hot" chick who was dumped (back in my teens and twenties) for several pudgy "sweet" types.   The bony snarky girl was apparently an acquired taste.   That's what i was using for my Karen-identification.

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 09, 2007 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11: Must See (you) Thursday

ohmigosh, can I say I'm loving this. Thank you so much for finishing this. And because I'm upset at Jim right now I'm going to go ahead and say that he's being infuriatingly slow at making up his mind when he gave Pam like what 2 seconds to make a MUCH bigger decision. I think his decleration of eternal love will have to come with a side order of some serious groveling (super-sized). MORE SOON PLEASE. Oh and I hate Karen. Sorry but I do.

Roses by NeverEnoughJam Rated: K+ [Reviews - 30] 13
Summary: There's a reason Meredith gets drunk on Valentine's Day, and it's not the obvious one. Spoilers through "Phyllis' Wedding".
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Present
Characters: Jim/Pam, Meredith
Genres: Holiday, Inner Monologue
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1696 Read Count: 2346 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 12, 2007 Updated: February 12, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 12, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Roses

One word: WOW!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Summary:

Eight years has passed since Jim and Pam have spoken. Many things have changed in their lives including a little girl that captures their hearts.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Future, Alternate Universe
Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Romance
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 71513 Read Count: 99805 ePub Downloads: 3
[Report This] Published: February 14, 2007 Updated: November 06, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: April 02, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Lost Love

this was my favorite chapter so far, I really loved the last Jim/Scarlett interaction.

Sorry or Please by Treble Rated: T [Reviews - 27] 6
Summary: She’s irritated when it takes them almost a month to fully sort things out, all nervous glances and flushed cheeks. Last chapter!!

Karen POV on her exboyfriend, relationship with Jim, Jim/Pam, etc. Spoilers through Cocktails and speculation thereafter. Kind of AU.


Categories: Other
Characters: Jim, Karen, Pam
Genres: Inner Monologue
Warnings: Adult language, No Warnings Apply
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4956 Read Count: 11201 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 20, 2007 Updated: March 07, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 27, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

it's good! is it realistic? well depends on who is texting Jim, if it's Pam I doubt he'd turn off the phone and throw it in the backseat. He just seems to care about her too much as a person to not be there for her in her time of need. But I can totally see Jim wanting to clear the air with Karen over her exes. Oh but I still hate her though, sorry can't help it.

Author's Response: Thanks for your comments! I see what you are saying so I made some tweaks to clarify my concept. In my mind they are stuck in the car on this long drive so there is really no way Jim could be there for Pam right now, regardless of whether he wants to be. For me the Karen/Jim conversation has to occur before the Jim/Pam conversation and I am acting on the assumption that Jim, being aware of what has happened that night, is forcing himself into a conversation with Karen about their relationship so that he can take stock before he tells her what happened in Scranton.

Summary: Past Featured Story

Improv!Fic - Started by ObsessionInc - Prompts by GreenFish.  Someone has made a big change in her life and she's actually OK with it.


Categories: Other, Future
Characters: Michael/Jan
Genres: Fluff, Married
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 420 Read Count: 2157 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: February 22, 2007 Updated: February 22, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 22, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: When All is Said and Done

you people are amazing! This is probably one of my favorite jan/michael fics now. I loved how serene she sounded

Author's Response: Wow!  Thank you.  And yes.  She did sound serene.  Crazy isn't it???  So glad you liked it!

Elsewhere by girl7 Rated: MA [Reviews - 195] 50
Summary:

Jim's basketball game with the C.F.O. (not his actual initials) gets interrupted with news from what happened at Poor Richard's; he reacts accordingly.


Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Jim/Pam, Karen
Genres: Angst, Inner Monologue, Romance, Steamy
Warnings: Adult language, Explicit sexual content, Mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 31449 Read Count: 100467 ePub Downloads: 22
[Report This] Published: February 23, 2007 Updated: March 18, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: March 04, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I'm sorry to say this. But you are a tease :)

Author's Response: Don't be sorry - I am a big, fat, honking tease, and I know it.  But I'll make up for it, I swear. :o)

Summary: Pam's trying to deal with the aftermath of Cocktails (so spoilers through Cocktails of course).  Hopefully, through all the fear they will find each other.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present
Characters: Ensemble, Jim, Jim/Pam, Karen, Pam, Roy
Genres: Angst, Romance
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content, Violence/Injury
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 12314 Read Count: 57623 ePub Downloads: 5
[Report This] Published: February 24, 2007 Updated: March 19, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 27, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Pam's long night

a kind and chivalrous dwight always just kills me! he's such a great guy deep down, I love how no one on this show is really one dimensional

Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: March 02, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Pam's long night

I'm a shrute-aholic and I don't care who knows it.

Author's Response: Yes me too.  Perhaps we should start a support group?  12 steps for schrute-aholics?

Summary: Past Featured StoryYup, it’s a post-Cocktails fic! With a bit of a twist. Karen does a bad thing, and Jim is about to suffer the consequences…
Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Episode Related
Characters: Jan, Jim/Pam, Karen, Michael, Roy
Genres: Weekend
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content, Violence/Injury
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 31515 Read Count: 113887 ePub Downloads: 33
[Report This] Published: February 27, 2007 Updated: April 16, 2007
Reviewer: fasterthansnakes Signed
Date: February 28, 2007 Title: Chapter 1: Mosquitoes

If I bit my nails they would be nubs by the end, way to build the suspense! you're killing me, more please. time to break karen's heart!

Author's Response: Yay! I wrote suspense! I've never done that before! Just wait until the next chapter...