Real life Jim and Pam relationships

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      I found this website a few days ago and really am enjoying it.  When the show first came out I had a similar relationship with someone that I cared deeply for.  She was my Pam and I was her Jim.  People regularly speculated that we were dating in secret while her ‘Roy’ lived a thousand miles away.  She was my best friend and I hers for 4 years.  It seemed like this show mirrored our lives in many ways (yet very different as well).

      I took my shot one night and when my Pam said “i can’t” my world collapsed.  Now 11 years later, I married my Karen and have three kids.  My Pam moved 2,000 miles away, married Roy, and they just had their first baby.

      Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else had this connection to this show or could relate?  Do these stories also remind you of your past?





      #876 Reply

      Assistant (to the) Manager

        Hi @anotherjim1, thanks for joining up and sharing your story! I think Jim and Pam’s story resonates so well because probably everyone has been a Jim, Pam, Karen or even Roy at different points in their life.

        I sadly got Karen-ed pretty hard once. I was in college, had a crush on this guy in my class who was five years older than me and had just gotten out of a long term relationship and wasn’t ready for anything new. He had bought a house with the girlfriend before they broke up so they were still living together for a while, then she moved to Hawaii and he still had her dog and had to keep the quarantined for months so the dog could eventually be sent to her, it was a very weird situation.

        I strongly suspected something was going on between him and this other girl in our class and I asked him about it but got the “we’re just friends” line. So yeah, already a few red flags but I ignored them. We chatted a lot over winter break and when spring semester started the dog was gone and I was sure we would start dating. The weekend before Valentine’s Day I suggested we hang out friendly like but he told me he had plans with a friend.

        The Friend? Girl from the class that I suspected he had a something going on with, and that night they decided to start dating. He confessed they had kind of started seeing either other right after he broke up with the long-term-girlfriend, but he put it on hold. “Why did you lie to me when I asked if there was anything going on between you?” I ask. “I didn’t lie, when you asked there wasn’t anything going on between us.”

        Yeah I know, that answer alone proves I definitely dodged a bullet but I still took it about as well as Karen and was pretty bitter and upset about the whole situation for a long time.

        I suppose when I think about it, I was a little bit in a “Jim” situation once, another college classmate, he was a good friend and also was someone I had a terrible crush on. I was his sympathetic shoulder, always willing to talk with him about his very hot-and-cold relationship with someone else and despite reason and logic I did have the romantic notion that maybe someday he would see me as more than a friend. He never did but my crush faded and I decided we were great as friends and we would be terrible as anything else. That hot-and-cold relationship did thankfully end and I attended his wedding this summer to someone who really is a great match for him and I count her as a good friend as well. So really it was a win-win-win 😉

        The love life is kinda not really happening atm but I’m optimistic that I’ll find the Jim to my Pam someday, or even the Michael to my Holly.

        #1075 Reply


          Super late to this, but I’m kind of the Jim to my co-worker’s Pam. Except I actually like his gf and think they’re good together, which is so much worse than a Roy who seems all wrong.

          We just kind of clicked and started talking all the time with crazy plans and ideas, and our senses of humor jump off each other’s. We were taking our breaks alone together and talking all day. He said his gf likes that he and I talk because it keeps him from losing it at the office. I probably felt just like Jim did when Roy said something similar to him.

          I realized I was getting a crush on him and decided to give it some space. I started daring myself every day not to message him first, and then to send the jokes I wanted to send to him to someone else. Going on break with other friends.

          I wish I could find someone I like as much. Part of me appreciates that at least now I know this is out there. It might be rare, but someone can make every time we’re alone feel like that first time you write on a new notebook.

          For now I’ll keep lingering in this heavy in-between, trying to talk about her without feeling my heart suffocate. And when something happens, like when I jokingly text “I hate you” back to something ridiculous and he replies with “no you don’t,” wondering how much he sees through me.

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