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Author Topic: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2  (Read 13607 times)

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Too Late Kev

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #15 on: July 07, 2009, 09:34:01 PM »
I'm sorry to hear that, larry. :(

I'm not sure what you're doing from here.  I'd suggest at least letting her know that the age difference, etc. isn't a problem for you, remind her that she had mentioned wanting to go to Six Flags, and tell her that you're still interested if she decides you might be the right person after all.

Then regroup and try to move on. :-\

Also, you're perhaps a better person than I am.  (Shocking, I know. ::))  Two divorces would be a big red flag for me.

larrymcg421

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #16 on: July 07, 2009, 10:01:10 PM »
Well her message was pretty clear that there was no interest on her part. And chasing people that say they're not interested has never worked in the past. So I'm moving on, just in a more befuddled and confused state than before.

As for the divorce thing, my parents weren't even married, and considering the things I've been through and my family has been through, I'm pretty understanding and non-judgmental (probably to a fault). I certainly don't think that makes me better than you, just that we probably came from different backgrounds.

lisahoo

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #17 on: July 07, 2009, 10:11:42 PM »
My (now) husband decided that he didn't want to date someone whose parents were divorced, because they ended up having too many issues. 

Then he met me, whose parents had divorced not long before we met -- in fact he never even met my dad until after we were married. (We all get along pretty well now, heck, my parents talk on the phone a few times a week.  Living in separate states is good for them, apparently.)

So, yeah, jumping to conclusions over someone's background isn't always going to serve you very well.

But I think TLK does have a point.  One divorce tells me she married the wrong person.  Two divorces tells me she might be expecting too much out of being married or has other relationship issues.

Sorry things didn't work out, Larry.  Better luck next time  bighugsicon

lovefool

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2009, 01:20:01 AM »
Sorry Larry, sounds like you did everything you should have though.  I salute men who CALL back. bitter party of one internet dater sorry...I'm still with ya...move on, man.


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lovefool

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #19 on: July 11, 2009, 02:09:45 PM »
Questions...to those of you who are doing internet dating...

Has this happened to you?
You and match are corresponding. You and match are on the first phases of chatting (sending questions back and forth/must have & can't stands - for you Eharmony folks). You and match seem to have a few things in common. You and match seem headed for a date.  Match suddenly stops corresponding. Match does NOT "close match" - just stops talking.

OR has this ever happened to you?
Match actually asks you out.  Match unexpectedly has to cancel date due to getting into tennis finals that he did not expect. Match postpones date due to said tennis match. Match never calls you back to reschedule (it's been 3 weeks).

WHAT. THE. HELL?

lol. Help a sistah out.  What's going on?


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larrymcg421

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #20 on: July 11, 2009, 02:24:20 PM »
That has happened to me and I've always chalked it up to the person is corresponding with several people and has started seeing one of them. That's why I stick to one contact at a time, because I don't have the ability to juggle multiple people.

lovefool

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #21 on: July 11, 2009, 02:43:07 PM »
Thanks Larry.  That sounds reasonable, I guess. ::sigh:: In terms of sticking to one person at a time...that's what I was doing at first because I was afraid I'd mix up someone with someone else, etc.  Lately though I just figure 98% of them won't pan out anyway...

oooh, bad attitude, Lovefool. BAD attitude.  :)


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larrymcg421

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #22 on: July 11, 2009, 02:56:43 PM »
I never had much luck with match or eharmony myself. The site I've been using  for a while is plentyoffish. It's definitely the best free site.

lovefool

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #23 on: July 11, 2009, 02:59:24 PM »
I never had much luck with match or eharmony myself. The site I've been using  for a while is plentyoffish. It's definitely the best free site.

Oh really? Thanks, I've never heard of that one.  What do you like about it?


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larrymcg421

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #24 on: July 11, 2009, 03:02:28 PM »
I seem to get more contacts there than at any of the other places. The interface is pretty simple and easy to use. And of course, it's free.

lovefool

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #25 on: July 11, 2009, 03:08:32 PM »
Awesome. I'll check it out. :-)


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McGigi

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #26 on: July 11, 2009, 03:39:54 PM »
That's the second recommendation I've heard for Plentyoffish this week, Larry. I've been using OkCupid for the past several months, and actually dated a guy for about 6 weeks before I decided I didn't want to proceed with the relationship. It's free, which is good, and I've been corresponding with a few more people who seem good. They use a match rating system, which is handy.

One thing I will say about internet dating services it that it's SO nice to be able to see certain facts about people. For example, it's very helpful to see that some people aren't interested in having kids, so that usually makes it easy to weed out who I want to direct my attention to. I know that what people write isn't necessarily true, but I find it helpful to see information all laid out!
And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.

larrymcg421

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #27 on: July 11, 2009, 03:51:18 PM »
I signed up for OKcupid a while back but never spent much time on it. I'll have to check it out.

I agree about the kids thing. That's a hard thing to ask about early on and it's something I'm not willing to compromise on. So I don't even go near profiles that say undecided, because I've found that generally means they don't want kids.

MojoPin

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #28 on: July 11, 2009, 05:00:19 PM »
If there are popular sites out there that don't charge you anything, why is eHarm so damn expensive? I've considered eHarm and I even have a profile and have had some people start communication, but I can't communicate back because I'm just too cheap to pay the fee. (There was a free weekend last week and I communicated with one guy with potential but I couldn't get over the age difference so I had to back out.)

These sites that are free . . . They have methods of getting rid of the people they suspect may be serial killers and the like? Things that scare me off on internet dating: Price and online predators. I have horrible luck. I can see myself being a story on Dateline.
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larrymcg421

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Re: And Since You're Always Having Relationship Problems #2
« Reply #29 on: July 11, 2009, 05:27:40 PM »
There's really no foolproof method to avoid that, whether you're dating online or not. I always offer to meet a girl in public to make her feel more comfortable. We usually talk on the phone beforehand.

As for Eharmony, they are very expensive, but the even bigger reason I stayed away from them is they refused to provide services for gays and lesbians. The eharmony owner said it was because they haven't come up with a formula for matching same sex couples, which was just a bunch of BS. Now that's now what I'm looking for, but I have very little tolerance for discrimination. They have since relented and included same sex couplings, but that was only after an equal rights lawsuit.