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Reviewer: Clover Signed [Report This]
Date: October 30, 2018 09:47 am Title: perfect plans cannot be made

Holy crap, this is beautiful. Such a simple scene: Jim getting dressed in the morning. But every line is full of emotion, full of longing and courage. Wow.

Reviewer: Moogie Man Signed [Report This]
Date: January 04, 2017 06:57 am Title: perfect plans cannot be made

This was so vague, I'm still not sure what is going on. Too much description or such a short piece. Be to the point!

Reviewer: iheartcreed Signed [Report This]
Date: July 05, 2008 07:08 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

Good heavens it almost made me cry. You did a great job making it feel like he was leaving forever, even though we know it's just for a week.

Reviewer: Emilys List Anonymous 8 [Report This]
Date: July 03, 2008 09:59 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

argh - how great! i love so much about this, especially the 'pushing the curls off of her face.'  how evocative.  i just liked this moment, so perfectly packaged but messy and chaotic b/c the moment is not perfect.  i'm not describing myself well, but i think this is great.

Reviewer: Colette Signed [Report This]
Date: July 03, 2008 06:45 am Title: perfect plans cannot be made

This little moment is so quiet and pure - like a heartbeat. Is it wrong that I wanted her to open her eyes and have him stay, just a little? But, I think it's better your way, with him tacitly agreeing to pretend she's asleep. Also love the way you used the word 'agitate' here: careful not to agitate the creaky, old floorboards. Great description - it makes the apt. seem almost like a character he's interacting with too, with the flickering bulb, the blinding white bathroom, etc. I like this kind of nonsense ;-)

Reviewer: EverybodyHurts Signed [Report This]
Date: July 03, 2008 03:37 am Title: perfect plans cannot be made

Another gorgeous job with the writing, unfold.  It felt like I was right there in the room with them.  Poor dears, trying to be so brave!  Your so-called "nonsense" is always a little work of art.  Great story, as always.

Reviewer: Jinxcoke Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: July 02, 2008 11:24 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

Very nice! That was a great story. So descriptive. Loved it!

Reviewer: untherapy Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 02, 2008 09:40 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

wow :) Beautiful - I love how detailed your descriptions are, while never edging into mundane or boring. Very, very nice

Reviewer: I_Still_Believe Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 02, 2008 07:37 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

This was achingly perfect. I don't think achingly is a word, but I can't think of another way to describe this!

Reviewer: NanReg Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 02, 2008 06:44 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

Unfold, you're amazing.  You managed to brilliantly capture that pre-dawn feel.  This line in particular caught me:  ...replace my toothbrush in the cup where it rolls along the rim until knocking into hers and settling there.  Your imagery is so vivid and simply beautiful.

Reviewer: Abigail Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 02, 2008 06:39 pm Title: perfect plans cannot be made

So sweet and so heartbreaking! Will there be more chapters?

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