Date: August 17, 2009 01:41 pm Title: always
Well, that's too sad. I approve of the short length, the almost staccato sentences- they convey the enormity of their loss with stark simplicity.
Well done.
Author's Response:
Yay! That was an actual stylistic approach. Ask MBJ, I was questioning how it worked and if it conveyed the emotion or would flowery sentences be better, etc.
Although now I need to go write something fluffy to make up for being a baby killer.
Date: August 17, 2009 12:54 pm Title: always
sad day :( I'm glad with how this finally turned out! The little changes really make such a difference. Love it! Poor them and gah to this. But so well done! Hopefully more awesome EH fic soon :) (just not as hurtful maybe?) heh
Author's Response: Thanks for all your help. There werre a few changes that I wanted, but the more I stared at them, the more frustrated I got (especially the last paragraph). And trust me, I've got some ideas now that are less... painful.
Date: August 16, 2009 05:31 pm Title: always
Hi EmilyHalpert- I'm a long time reader of stories on this website, but have never reviewed one. I was moved by this story and felt like I just had to contact you about it. I haven't checked this website in the past few weeks and have only recently returned to it as I have been mourning the loss of my daughter. While she was not born still, she lived only 1 day. I have been avoiding all stories related to Pam's pregnancy but read this one. I wanted to let you know that the emotions you've described are very realistic. In a weird way, this story is comforting to me. Although it's not a happy story, I wanted to thank you for writing it. -Liz
Author's Response: Wow.You have no idea how much this review means to me. I'm so sorry for your loss, its something that I can't even imagine, and the idea that this little story can provide any sort of comfort.... It was kind of written on a whim, the idea wouldn't leave me alone, no matter how much I tried. I'm just kind of at a loss for words, and I just want to thank you for sharing with me, and that ... I don't know, I just am so sorry for your loss, and just.... thank you.
Date: August 16, 2009 11:44 am Title: always
I know this won't "really" happen, so it's okay for me to read this. *pats self on head* You've managed to convey an awful lot of awful in a few paragraphs - well done, even if it hurts to read.
Author's Response: Yeah, if this really happens, I'll be burning Utica to the ground. But apparently, I need it to happen to quiet the voices in my head, because this started out as a fluffy pregnancy piece, but then, dammit, this just kept happening no matter how hard I tried. So I'm glad it works even if its sad and painful. And it shall never ever happen on the show.
Date: August 16, 2009 10:42 am Title: always
Wow... sad doesn't begin to describe it! But, it is so well written! Jim not wanting to hold him did for me... You know how to pull this girl's heartstrings. =)
Author's Response: I'm glad it works even if so sad. Jim's reaction was sort of key in my mind. I just saw him as so unwilling to face this,just not even standing to be close to him, but the only thing keeping him in the room was Pam and the fact that he knew Pam needed him. So he was all conflicted because he couldn't grasp this situation as it was now, but he knew he needed to be there for Pam... and obviously I've thought too much about it, but once I had the idea that was how I just saw him reacting.
10 [Report This]Date: August 16, 2009 10:04 am Title: always
And you killed me.
I'm crying, the way Jim refused to hold him just broke my heart, omg that was so well written Emily :(
Author's Response: Man, now I'm killing reviewers ;). The way Jim refused to hold him was so... it was kind of the key thing that I could see. I just could imagine him not even wanting to be close, not being able to understand or grasp this situation, and the only thing that was even keeping him in the room was Pam, because as much pain as he was in, he still couldn't leave her. So its still kind of sweet... I think?
Date: August 16, 2009 07:42 am Title: always
very sad, but very good.
Author's Response: Thanks. I don't know why I love the sad...
Date: August 16, 2009 07:37 am Title: always
Oh Emily. Why do you break my heart so? And I thought I was mean! ;)
Seriously, this is obviously very sad, but only because you've written it so damn well and emotively. You are a master of your craft, the way you make me tear up like that. However, please take no offence when I say I really hope this never happens on the show - Not when I have invested so much of my happiness in this Halpert baby! Love your work and glad you're still writing, even if does make me all emotional! :)
Author's Response:
I told you everyone may hate me after this. The pathetic thing is that this started out as a fluffy piece, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone, and no matter how many times I tried, this happened.
Thank you for the great review, and trust me, if this ever happened on the show, I'll be leading the charge to burn Utica to the ground.
Date: August 16, 2009 07:15 am Title: always
i got goosebumps reading the epitaph. really really good job. I'm still sad though
Author's Response:
That epitaph was so simple, but I swear I spent 30 minutes coming up with it /Pathetic.
Thanks for the review, even if I made you sad!