10 [Report This]Date: May 20, 2011 04:57 am Title: Chapter 3
Another beautiful chapter. I love how you showed the mounting tension throughout the weekend; how Jim's (previously positive) feeling of responsibility towards his family left him feeling panicked and like he had failed them while it left Pam feeling like a burden. These sorts of tension take a toll on the very best couples and you showed that really realistically. Also, I love the Cece is a little older in this story so that we can see the way these changes affect her as well. And how her awareness of the tension in the household adds to the stress of the situation. As soon as Pam refused the coffee, I knew she was expecting. And I'm really glad you added that. Way to up the amp even more! Now, I'm really curious to see Jim's reaction. Is he going to be elated, stressed, angry? You've definitely got me hooked. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks Tuna! I had the most difficult time trying to draw out that tension just so, and I'm thrilled to hear that you thought it was good. I was going to hold off on the baby surprise for another chapter, but thought that it fit best with the way this chapter was heading. I know we don't get to see them argue much, but I feel like Jim isn't receptive to being pushed too much, so he could become a little annoyed by it with all of the added stresses they have going on. So happy that you're on board with this story and I'm so thankful for your lovely reviews! Thanks, and sorry for the delay in replying. :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 19, 2011 08:54 am Title: Chapter 3
Wow. This is really good. So, the beginning of this chapter it sounded as if they were gonna be trying for a sibling for Cece, and apparently they were successful a little earlier than they meant to be?
I love the stress and tension you wrote for them. It wouldn't be realistic to stay perfect after being blind sided by the loss of a job and a downgrade of another. I am glad Jim acknowledged that it wasn't going to be easy for Pam going back to receptionist duties.
I cannot wait to see what else you have planned for them!
Author's Response: Thanks! My intention was to hint that they started trying earlier, like right before the story started and just as he's thinking they shouldn't, boom, they're having a baby. I'm really happy to hear that I'm writing these emotions and the tensions well. The arguing was the most difficult getting it just write so it wasn't over the top. I am so happy to hear you enjoyed this chapter and I'm sorry for the delay in replying to reviews! Thanks so much for the support and the feedback. :)
Date: May 19, 2011 07:52 am Title: Chapter 3
Love Cece spending time with Jim. Also liked that Jim and Pam had a little bit of a fight. Of course, nothing outlandish but it's nice to show that they aren't the perfect couple. Keep it up girl!
Author's Response: Thank you! I was mostly worried that their argument wouldn't come out right, so thanks for letting me know that it did! I plan on more Jim/Cece days so hopefully you'll enjoy them as well. Happy to know you're following this story :) Thanks for the encouragement!
Date: May 19, 2011 07:45 am Title: Chapter 2
Okay, you know me, always late...
Anyway, wow, they really can't catch a break, huh. Wasn't expecting Pam to get cut down, too. There's so much tension here, I'm really interested to see how this all plays out.
You've got such a nice sense of emotion here. I feel like you do a great job of showing just how beaten down Jim grows the more day goes on and how just exhausted he is at the end of the day. I'm glad you have Pam be so supportive yet there's tension there as well. Again, Cece was a sweetie and at the same time, just another added difficulty.
Can't wait to see how you keep this one going, great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really happy that the effort I've put in here in describing their emotions and the worries they have is coming out well. I'm having the most difficulty with Cece, trying to make her a little bit of both of her parents, so hopefully I can continue to do well with her description as well. I'm so happy to know that you'll be following this and I hope you'll continue to let me know your thoughts! I appreciate the feedback! :)
Date: May 19, 2011 07:07 am Title: Chapter 3
I find myself holding my breath reading this one. You are hitting all the emotions all three of them are feeling. I love how you had Cece react to her parents. I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, it really eases my mind to know that I'm doing this realistically. I didn't want to make it cartoonish or sappy or anything like that. I wanted them to be in a real situation that they all have to handle. Thanks so much for the feedback! Hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story! :)
Date: May 18, 2011 09:28 pm Title: Chapter 3
Whoa! When it rains... So, did poor Pam have to keep this news bottled up yesterday, or did she just find out?
Good characterizations. There were two grammatical errors that took me out of the story. Both times I believe it was Jim who said something like "you and me will... " Should be "you and I will... "
Author's Response: Thanks for the grammar check. I'm unbeta'd with this so it's much appreciated. Sorry it took you out of the story though, I'll try better next time, and I'm happy that you were able to finish reading the chapter even though the errors were glaring. Thanks for the feedback! :)
Date: May 18, 2011 09:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
Ahh You're killing me here. It's so painfully realistic, and you are writing it so, so well. We pretty much never see them seriously disagree on the show, but the tension and vulnerability and frustration is totally believable, and I can really picture it happening (and almost feel it with them, too). And the way that you had Cece react to their argument in the kitchen just adds to the realism. As for that last twist at the end? That's definitely going to add some conflicting emotions to the situation, and I can't wait to see how they each deal with it. Seriously awesome job, Danielle!! :) The story and the little details and everything are just perfect.
Author's Response: I'm so sorry I'm so behind in replying to reviews! I'm really relieved to hear that it's coming out realistically! I've been worried about that, and the argument especially, I didn't want to take either of them over the top and out of character. I just wanted to make Pam upset just enough to be annoyed with him and him to be just annoyed enough to raise his voice. I'm happy that you thought the way Cece reacted was real. I'm mostly worried about her portrayal too, and it helps to hear that I'm doing it right. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy the updates as the post, hope to hear from you as the story continues! :)
9 [Report This]Date: May 18, 2011 08:58 pm Title: Chapter 3
The plot thickens...
Again a very realistic chapter. Did not see that ending coming though.
Author's Response: Thanks so much again! Sorry I'm so behind in replying to reviews. Really appreciate the review, thank you! I liked adding that bit of a surprise at the end. Now I move on to cleaning up the mess I've made lol :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 18, 2011 08:39 pm Title: Chapter 2
You did an absolutely stellar job of capturing the real emotion of losing a job this way. I almost didn't want to read this chapter because I had a feeling you would keep it real and having been in this position myself I wasn't sure I wanted to go there.
Cannot wait to see what Jim's new career will be and how he and Pam and Cece will experience the journey.
Author's Response: Aw, sorry to hear about this being close to home for you, and thank you for giving it a read despite that. :) I can't say how much it means to me to hear that I'm keeping this realistic, it's my definitive goal, to keep it as close to reality as I possibly can. Thanks so much for letting me know your thoughts, and I hope to hear from you again! Thank you :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 18, 2011 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wow! Was not expecting that at the end. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked the little surprise I threw in there. More on the way soon. Thanks so much for the support, it really means a lot to see you're reading and enjoying!
Date: May 18, 2011 02:49 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oh my GAWD! You are KILLING me, Danielle. This chap had me feeling so bad for Jim--his feeling frustrated and emasculated, the arguing, trying to keep things stable for Cece--and now a baby?!?! Wow. I can not wait to find out what you have in store here, lady.
Author's Response: Thanks, Nancy! Sorry about the emotional roller coaster, and also sorry for taking so long to respond to reviews! The argument in this chapter took forever to get right. I don't see them as a couple who normally bickers, which is why I thought Cece's reaction worked really well, since Jim's not really a guy that yells. I'm really enjoying writing this story and I'm getting attached to it, and I'm so happy that you're reading it and enjoying it! Thank you so much for the support. It really means a lot to me. :)
Date: May 18, 2011 02:34 pm Title: Chapter 3
This chapter... damn it, lady, you just about got all my emotions gong at once lol. I was so angry at Jim and Pam for taking their anger out on each other, my uterus was going crazy reading all about Jim and Cece... My heart broke when cece thought Daddy was being mean, my heart almost stopped at the end when she told him they were having a new baby.
This is, and I feel like I always say it, but your best story yet, and each chapter is getting better and better. I want an update already LOL.
Author's Response: I am so sorry for being so behind in replies to reviews! There aren't enough words in my vocabulary to express how happy it makes me that what I did with this chapter made all of your emotions start going. I'm so happy that you felt every bit of everything I was going for as I wrote this. I'm so thrilled that you think this is my best story yet. I'm growing a fond attachment to it for sure, and I'm so happy that you're liking it so much! Thank you so so much, Sally! :)
Date: May 13, 2011 07:08 pm Title: Chapter 2
Sooooo good! I felt the honest sadness from both of them in this chapter. You did an amazing job conveying how they both would react. I loved all the compromises Pam thought of to help weather this storm. I can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, it's really good to see that the ideas I had for this chapter came out in a good way that was true to the characters. Pam's ramblings of what she'd do without had been my first thought for the chapter and I made such an effort to get that in in a believable way, so I'm really happy to know that you thought it was good! Thanks so much for the feedback. Next chapter should be up either tonight or tomorrow. :)
Date: May 13, 2011 05:55 pm Title: Chapter 2
Holy shit! Danielle, you're killing me with the surprises! And I want to kill Jo :( How heartless?! Grrrrrrrr... This chap was absolutely riveting. Dying to know what's going to happen. Promise me something, though: if they get a dog, don't kill it, ok? My heart can't take it!
Author's Response: Aw, Nan, I PROMISE no animals (or humans) will be injured/harmed/killed in this story! Scouts honor! I'm really happy to know you're enjoying the story and finding it riveting! I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter too. Thanks so much for the feedback as always. I'm really overwhelmed by the positive response to this story! It's just simply lovely. Thanks so much :)
Date: May 13, 2011 05:42 pm Title: Chapter 2
Now THAT was an eventful day. I am looking forward to seeing how you have Pam and Jim weather this storm.
Author's Response: Thanks, VB! Happy to know you're on board with this story and hope you'll let me know what you think of future chapters. I'm working on the next chapter and hope it'll be posted either tonight or tomorrow. :) Thanks for the feedback!
10 [Report This]Date: May 13, 2011 04:54 pm Title: Chapter 2
Aww, this is so heartbreakingly realistic. Wonderful writing, Danielle. This is amazing. It really hurts to read this because my dad was in a similar situation to this for about five years and he was very qualified for different jobs. I definitely know what they're going through. But I love the way that Pam keeps saying that their is no other option than keeping their marriage strong and supporting one another. It's always nice to read that. :) I'm looking forwards to the next chapter. Hopefully things will get better, or they'll at least have a decent time at the zoo, all things considered.
Author's Response: Thanks, Claire! I'm happy to have your support on this story, and I'm sorry to hear about your dad's situation, hope that it's gotten better now. I'm happy that it's coming out as realistic and not over dramatic. I'm glad that what I've tried to convey through Pam is coming out the way I wanted it to. Happy to hear that you're liking this story, and I hope to have the next chapter up either tonight or tomorrow. :)
Date: May 13, 2011 04:39 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is actually making my heart hurt.It's so in character and just...I can see Jim freaking out like that,nd Pam having to be the brave responsible one while he freaks out. God damnit, I actually want to cry for them. What will happen next? Will he find work? Aww Jim :(
Danielle, you = awesomepie!
Author's Response: Aw, Sally! Thanks so much, you're awesomepie too, lady! I'm really happy that you're liking this story, I have a lot more planned, and trying to stay as true to life as possible, so it's going to be a long road for him, but I know where I'm headed. I hope to have the next chapter up either tonight or tomorrow, hope you'll enjoy it! Thanks so much for the feedback! :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 13, 2011 04:36 pm Title: Chapter 2
I love this. And I love that you updated so quickly! Keep it coming!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking this still, and I hope to have the next chapter up either tonight or tomorrow! :) Thanks for the feedback, it really means a lot!
Date: May 13, 2011 04:34 pm Title: Chapter 2
I whispered a 'yes' when I saw this at the top of the most recents page.
This is amazing, just like I knew it would be. You are a brilliant story teller, I cannot wait for more!
Author's Response: Aw! Thanks so much for the lovely compliment, and I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying this story! I'm hoping to have the next chapter up either tonight or tomorrow. Thank you for the feedback, it really means a lot to me. :)
Date: May 13, 2011 03:52 pm Title: Chapter 2
This was an absolutely awesome chapter. I am loving this story and can't wait for more. You are an extremely talented writer!
Author's Response: Thank you so so much for that lovely compliment! It means so much and it's so nice to hear that you're enjoying this story! I'm hoping to have the next chapter up either tonight or tomorrow. Thanks so much for the feedback and hope you'll let me know what you think of the next one! :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 13, 2011 02:17 pm Title: Chapter 2
Another amazing chapter! The pain, frustration, anger, absolutely sheer terror of how they're going to survive...it's all so perfectly, completely realistic. I've been in their shoes before...which is probably one reason why I'm already so invested in this story...and you're writing takes me right back to those emotions. You're breaking my heart with this one. In the best way possible.
Author's Response: Ooh, I'm sorry to hear you were in this situation. I hope things are better now! I'm so glad you're able to enjoy this story while it still being so close to home for you! I've been trying to find a new job for years now and it's almost impossible in this city, so I'm incorporating a lot of my experience going forward, in fitting with the characters here of course. I'm overwhelmed by the positive response to this story and I'm working on the next chapter and hope to have it posted by either tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it! :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 12, 2011 04:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
OMG, I am so excited about this story! The economy is so bad right now and times are so hard for so many people...and this is SUCH a believable possibility for a salesmen at a failing mid-range company. I love how you've shown the bliss of their family life first. Now, we'll see how that perfection is affected by Jim's sudden job loss. I can't wait to see what you do with this story. In your capable hands, I know it will be wonderful.
Author's Response: Thanks so much Tuna!! Very happy to have you on board with this story! Yeah, I thought if Sabre was a real company, they'd be more than hurting from those printer fires, so I thought that would be a legitimate reason for the company to start sliding down hill, and Jim being their highest paid employee because he capped his commission so early, I thought he might be affected the most by it, and end up losing his job because how could they afford to pay him. I'm so excited that you liked this start of the story, and I'm looking forward to your thoughts on the update too! Thanks so much for such a lovely review! :)
Date: May 12, 2011 07:17 am Title: Chapter 1
First off, thank you so much, Danielle. You're the best :-* Second--HOLY COW!!!!! Jim got canned?! I can't believe it. And the day started out so well ;) Boy oh boy. You'd better update this quickly, missy!
Author's Response: Thank YOU so much Nancy! The day did start out well, didn't it? lol Glad you liked it, and I'm really happy that the element of surprise I tried to go for is coming out well in this first chapter. I'm happy to say the next chapter is up and I plan on writing the next one as soon as I get home tonight. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement. I really appreciate it, so so much. :)
Date: May 12, 2011 06:10 am Title: Chapter 1
Interesting new premise Danielle. At first I thought it was just a smut story but you've got something cooking. I really liked how the enjoy each other in the morning--your imagery there is great!
Cece was just adorable in this. I love how she asked why Jim kissed Pam. Too cute.
Jim getting fired was completely unexpected. Will they be getting rid of more people? Will Pam's job be in danger as well? Can't wait to see where this goes! :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm so happy you're enjoying this. I get nervous writing the smut, but thought it fit in with the perfection in the beginning rolling into the messy ending of this chapter. It's tough writing a two year old speaking in a story, so I'm happy it's not coming out badly here. Next chapter is up, hope you enjoy it! Thank you again for the kind review! :)
Date: May 11, 2011 11:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
Way to pull a fast one on me, Danielle! Just kidding, I know that you were feeling stuck with your other story. This was so surprising, I couldn't believe Jim was getting fired - especially over Andy (or Pam, even). I guess Andy's just a charmer who happens to get people to like his false personality. And they he pays for it, when he can't keep it up...
Anyways, it certainly wouldn't be bad form to keep cranking this one out daily. Send me an email if you'd like any help with this!
Author's Response: Aw, Claire, hope you got my email! The other story was just not writing itself quite the way this one is right now. I'm really happy you enjoyed this and I'm touched by your offer to beta upcoming chapters. Right now I am enjoying writing and posting as I go but I will definitely let you know if I'm stuck and need help. Thanks so much for the support, I do hope you like this story and I hope to hear from you again! Thanks!