Reviews For Terra Incognita
You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: jandjsalmon Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: June 18, 2018 12:35 pm Title: June 11: Jim's Room, with Pam

This was so wonderful. I look forward to the update!

Author's Response: Thanks! I will keep the updates coming!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 17, 2018 05:23 pm Title: June 11: Jim's Room, with Pam

A short but sweet chapter. Only thing I would say would help would be to add in some narration when you have multiple people talking. Sometimes it was hard to figure out if it was Pam, Jim, or Larissa who was talking. Especially since you have it that Jim and Larissa have quite similar vocal mannerisms. So adding in a quick description of facial expression for instance would help in that regard. I was able to figure out who was saying what, but on the first read through it sometimes too a little doing.

Author's Response: Thanks. I have to admit, the dialogue thing was actually intentional: I usually do exactly what you suggest, but I wanted to see if I could differentiate the characters clearly enough just through each of their voices. Thanks for the note that that isn't quite working yet.

Reviewer: Pan_cake_Cats Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: June 17, 2018 12:06 pm Title: June 11: Jim's Room, with Pam

I love the dynamic between Pam and Larissa.
This story is beautiful.
Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks! They're lot of fun to write. 

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans