Date: July 18, 2021 02:37 pm Title: Chapter 16
That's really terrific advice from Bill here, and some that I am going to try to take to heart.
Lovely seeing them exploring these new parts of their lives and figuring out if they're compatible merging them.
Date: July 18, 2021 02:01 pm Title: Chapter 15
You've done well exploring the setting here. This feels very much like Jim and Pam as college kids - still a little immature, and simultaneously feeling their oats as adults and starting to learn what an adult relationship looks like.
Date: July 18, 2021 01:59 pm Title: Chapter 14
I love the Beesly family dynamics here - really fun to read. Although you feel so bad for Pam. This is HORRIFYING, and all the moreso because it's an easy slip to make. TOO REAL.
Seeing a lot of forward movement with their relationship now. They're getting Serious. Eeep!
Date: July 18, 2021 11:47 am Title: Chapter 12
Ah, I love smooth Pam blowing Jim away with a well-placed line. And the reworking of the karaoke seen was fun.
I thought you wrote the combo of steam and uncertainty and new territory being explored really well! This is a lot of fun.
Date: July 18, 2021 11:35 am Title: Chapter 11
"Jim didn't think he'd ever been in a relationship like this, where the kisses were the interruption to the conversation instead of the other way around." That's a great line, and very Jam-my.
I like this take on Karen - someone who sees the potential in Jim and wants someone to bring it out, but doesn't feel the need to bring it out herself and or require him to be someone he's not to have him around.
I thought you did well capturing their growing intimacy - both mental and physical.
Date: July 18, 2021 11:21 am Title: Chapter 10
Nice to see them get over this bump in the road with not much mess and a lot of sweetness - and to acknowledge the source of Pam's upset. Also really enjoyed meeting Dwight here, and Pam managing to bond with him in spite of all his Dwight-ness. That might come in handy for Jim down the line.
Date: July 18, 2021 08:19 am Title: Chapter 9
I thought you did well with Danny here! Not a bad guy, but not a particularly good one either, and pretty clear not a good match for Pam.
"It felt like he'd lived years since last Tuesday night" is a good line!
Date: July 16, 2021 09:55 pm Title: Chapter 8
Wow. Pam's got some GAME here. Very smooth, Ms. Beesly. And I love the callback to the subtle intimacy of the lint moment and the remix of their rooftop moment.
Sigh. The course of true love never did run smooth. I like Pam acknowledging that her reaction isn't the most logical one but still not being able to get a handle on it, and the way you founded it in the "Pam 6.0" connection - even if she hadn't caught them in a semi-intimate moment, you can see her being intimidated knowing that Jim had dated someone who likes like, to quote Jenna Fischer, "the Disney princess version of her."
Date: July 12, 2021 07:29 pm Title: Chapter 7
For the record, I actually thought Jim's TWSS was better. Truth hurts Pam.
Oh no. I did not see the remix of The Fight coming here. Ooooof. That stings. That stings maybe even worse than canon, when there's a lot of context they both know is going into it. Thank you for resolving it more quickly.
HA. I love that you worked in Pam's gift wrapping skillz here!
Date: July 12, 2021 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 6
Accidentally cuddling Jim and Pam! They are deeply awkward and adorable here. You can see them pawing at the ground with their feet, hands in their pockets, not wanting to say goodbye yet. You've written their dialogue and the nervous butterflies feelings of the early moments of a mutual crush well.
Date: July 11, 2021 10:04 pm Title: Chapter 5
This is a good translation of Andy and Kelly especially into college-age characters. Honestly, college Kelly seems like she'd be much easier to handle than co-worker Kelly. Seems like she and Pam might be friends.
Going to be interested to see how you handle Karen here. Feels like from Jim's references to her earlier there's not necessarily a romantic history, but clearly there's a dynamic worth exploring there.
Care-taking Jim was adorable, as was semi-platonic be-sharing Jim and Pam.
Date: July 11, 2021 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 4
Dating is just a lot more complicated in the social media era. Although one wouldn't necessarily get the full weight of Roy's awfulness from his profile - that proposal story is horrifying. Pam is going to have to get used to so many new things.
Date: July 11, 2021 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 3
In all universes, Jim and Pam bond over Dwight. I thought there were some good details here - Pam forgetting about her class and them having subconsciously moved closer to her both were good show-not-tell touches. Looking forward to what the weekend brings for these crazy kids.
Date: July 11, 2021 02:25 pm Title: Chapter 2
Oh, awkward young JAM. There's so much I have to warn you about. Tragically, I cannot. They're very cute here.
I always enjoy a good Jim and Dwight as roommates adventure. Looking forward to seeing more of that.
Date: July 11, 2021 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well, aside from giving me nightmares about timed assignments, I really enjoyed the start of this. Feels very grounded and down to Earth, and a lot like what a younger and less confident Jim would sound like. Good dialogue with their instant rapport, too.
Date: May 04, 2019 05:46 pm Title: Chapter 20
I'm going to agree with Jim here. That was a while coming, (twss) but it was worth the wait. Considering how you've built up this relationship, when they finally get to this point, it's great to see them connecting like this. Great detail and very steamy.
Congrats on the kiddo. From one new(ish) parent to another, your in for one of the hardest things you'll ever love. I know things will get busy for you soon, but hopefully you'll be able to find some time to keep this going. Best of luck to you.
Date: May 04, 2019 05:34 pm Title: Chapter 19
This was delightful. Great images of a warm Halpert household. Pam coloring with Vanessa was sweet as well. I'm so glad to see how you've been building their relationship in this story. They're wonderful with each other and it makes it fun to read. Onto the next chapter.