Date: November 29, 2020 06:04 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Corridor
And a very romantic button to put on all this!
This story was fantastic, top to bottom.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! "Top to bottom" is an interesting term for a fic on a ship literally organized top to bottom...
Date: November 29, 2020 05:40 pm Title: Chapter 12: The Almanac
I love that Pam has literally tuned out Roy. I love even more that Jim gave her the means to do so. And I love the most that Jim has been using it to prank Dwight for his verbal tics.
The underlying calculus behind their opinions on the wedding is a pretty insightful line, I think.
Jesus... this version of The Fire is SO MUCH WORSE than the already deeply uncomfortable canon version. As you pointed out in Notices, at least in canon he can always rationalize it as "obviously, I'm choosing to do you."
You gave Pam a lot of spine in this version of the breakup. It's nice to see her with this sort of strength.
Author's Response: Thank you! I wanted to make Pam in this world (where she's actually much more of a real agent than Roy is in the world of the ship) have that spine, so I'm glad it worked!
Date: November 29, 2020 05:24 pm Title: Chapter 11: The Almanac
"the thought of pouring that sort of effort into anything non-Pam-related was exhausting, and the thought of it being Pam-related made him just want to drown his sorrows" is a great description of post-Casino Night Jim's hopelessness.
This Roy is just awful. The fact that he's so chatty with Jim is bad enough. The fact that all he can do is whine about Pam is worse. The fact that he asks Jim the same question Pam LITERALLY just answered about HER DECISION is freakin' enraging. Kick him to the curb, Pam.
I love that this fic references Shakespeare, Benjamin Franklin and Futurama all in turn.
Author's Response: Making Roy awful (or visibly awful at least) is one of my life missions on this site, I guess. Thanks for catching my nerddoms!
Date: November 29, 2020 04:12 pm Title: Chapter 10: Cryogenics Bay
The cryosleep element sheds such an interesting light on Pam's relationship with Roy - it's a lot easier to idealize someone whose flaws you haven't had to live with for months. I appreciate how quickly you've had her, now with this new experience of these months with Jim under her belt, stop making excuses for him.
I love the uber-professional, competent Kelly here - although I can't help but wonder if she's being lied to about this being a universal element of the newly awakened, or if they might have gotten a different result with someone else's voice.
Author's Response: Thank you! Cryosleep fascinates me, so I was hoping this fic would feel like it was using it effectively for plot/emotion. And good question about Kelly--I think I like the idea that she has these weird pockets of pure competence.
Date: November 29, 2020 11:51 am Title: Chapter 8: A Corridor
Very in character for Pam, in her astonishment and confusion, to default to banter. And the brief recognition that what she wants from Jim is going to hurt her is a hard moment.
This Kelly dialogue is just perfectly Kelly. Self-obsessed, mildly insulting, meandering, well adapted to the sci-fi universe they're living in, with an underlying touch of kindness. "I wanna live in the event of a crash and all but do you really call this living?" is genius.
In a weird way, this version of the story is actually pretty kindly to Pam. Her sometimes-frustrating insistence on preserving a relationship with Roy that's clearly not working makes much more sense in this scenario where she can easily rewrite the truth without being confronted with it. Interested to see what happens when he wakes up and she can't do it anymore.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you picked up on the way the setting interacts with how we're used to seeing Pam behave but changes how it comes through. I was hoping that would work!
Date: November 29, 2020 03:44 am Title: Chapter 6: Observation Dome
Again, loving the reimagining of the teapot Christmas, and I'm very interested to see where you go with this as we continue to get more and more into uncharted territory with their post-Casino Night interactions.
Author's Response: Thank you! It's always fun to get the teapot details in there ;)
Date: November 29, 2020 03:35 am Title: Chapter 5: Primary Command
The line about him having realized in the last five seconds that he had no filter was quite funny, and Pam literally having to figure out how to make Coke is great. But honestly, mainly this chapter makes me feel more sympathetic to canon Jim for fleeing to Stamford within minutes. This is brutal.
Author's Response: Yeah, I think this Jim would have really appreciated having the chance to flee like that Jim did--but then we wouldn't have the happy ending!
Date: November 29, 2020 03:28 am Title: Chapter 4: Pam's Bunk
Great details here - the failure of the language plan and the success of the gesture control one, Stanley literally being able to play video games with his eyes closed. And I loved the reimaginings of the Booze Cruise and the Dundies.
Author's Response: Thank you! Reworking classic episodes into the new setting was hard but fun and I think worthwhile.
Date: November 29, 2020 03:19 am Title: Chapter 3: Primary Command
The details of this are great. And the way you're applying them... Jim literally being responsible for the wedding is a gut punch.
I like Jim finding Kelly enjoyable. Poor girl feels like a solid candidate for being "accidentally" forced out an airlock in this universe. Her bit musing about the advantages of a quiet groom is a great Kelly line.
I like the way you brought The Client into this, and Pam's line about no pull between them in zero-g is hilarious.
Author's Response: Thank you! I had fun with Kelly in this fic; I think it may be the fic I wrote with the most of her in it, actually.
Date: November 29, 2020 03:08 am Title: Chapter 2: Primary Command
Couple of great lines in here - I really liked Pam's debate about whether or not how she handled Jim indicates she's an effective communication officer.
I really enjoy the way you've preserved and expanded on the fundamental loneliness of Pam - it's so central to her character at this point in the story, and you've used the setting to explore it well.
This was a clever way to work in Helene's call, too.
I'm interested in the way you're playing with the nature of time in this story - unnaturally extended lifespans, people experiencing it at different rates, Roy and Pam literally not bein on the same timeline. It's intriguing.
Author's Response: I appreciate your comments on Pam's loneliness--I think that was one of the elements that this fic really let me explore, so I'm glad you saw it the same way!
Date: November 29, 2020 02:58 am Title: Chapter 1: Secondary Command
Holy crap. This is AMAZING.
You have done so truly impressive world-building here, and the way you've put our beloved characters in that world is a lot of fun. Jim's space-centric inner monologue is very entertaining, and the twists on canon (the sheer physical impossibility of transferring, Roy's literally being unable to be there for Pam) are cleverly suited to the universe we're in.
Honestly, mainly I'm just kinda blown away by how immersive this is. I love it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much (as you can tell, I'm going though past reviews)! Office Space was probably my furthest-pushed concept, so it's really nice to know it felt well-built!
Date: April 04, 2019 06:51 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Corridor
"Because while Comms was free, part of being free was being able to choose what you wanted to do. And she definitely wanted to do Lieutenant Jim Halpert." You always sneak in these little gems and they make me laugh every time.
Pam being able to float herself up to Jim's height to kiss him? Go ahead and hit me in all of the feels, that was such a great moment.
SO, sci-fi is generally something I avoid reading but this? This was amazing start to finish and I'm so glad you wrote it and I can't wait to see what you come up with next!
One more thing, Comfect. Because you write Ice so well, I too, would support an epilogue that was just like, her talking head recap of this entire story. You write her perfectly, and I can hear the voice and it's just amazing. You know, if you wanted to.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Coley. This means a lot to me, and I'm just so delighted to hear you enjoyed it. I'll consider an epilogue; right now I'm focused on Groundhog Nights though, because I hate having more than one WIP at a time.
Date: April 04, 2019 06:44 pm Title: Chapter 13: Corridor
Pam bouncing over to Jim is the cutest thing ever. I love how happy she is here and I love poor clueless Jim just going along with it, letting her hang out in his arms, and just letting it all play out. You just write these two so well!
Author's Response: Thank you! I wasn't sure if Jim was reading correctly here, so I'm glad to hear that he is.
Date: April 04, 2019 06:38 pm Title: Chapter 12: The Almanac
I am so sad that I can't own a pair of audio implants that can just skim words so I can ignore other things - that's truly genius.
I love confident Pam, so it was great to see her stand up to Roy and calmly give him her reasons as to why she couldn't marry him.
Plus, you made Roy cry. I appreciate that more than you know!
Author's Response: Making Roy cry is a specialty. And I love strong!Pam, so having her do it was a plus. Thanks for the review!
Date: April 02, 2019 06:38 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Corridor
To begin, Ice was Fantastic here. You captured her so perfectly in this story. (And I don’t know about you but I think Kelly is so much fun to write!)
I love how Pam and Jim still struggle, just briefly, to get on the same page. It kept them (as you’ve done nicely throughout) so in-character. And then when they finally finally realize what’s going on, it just comes together perfectly.
As I confessed earlier, I don’t understand half of the sci-fi specifics of this BUT you never lost me while also keeping me firmly grounded (or not 😉) on that spaceship with them. Thank you for not intimidating/excluding this Jam fan from this genre because I would have hated to miss such a great story. I am always so impressed and in awe of your talents in AU and this reaffirmed every step of the way.
Ps I would NOT complain if there is an epilogue that shows Ensign Howard and Ice interacting. I feel like Ryan would have a lot of pontificating he could do in space and about their mission and about Kelly’s selfish use of valuable storage space for her many adapted flightsuits... 🤷r05;a92;a039; Just a thought...
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Hearing all of this means a lot to me. I'm particularly glad you liked Kelly/Ice: I agree, she's a ton of fun to write, but I feel like I always dangle on the edge of overdoing her, so it's nice to hear it sounded good. And I'll think about that epilogue...
Date: March 31, 2019 06:33 pm Title: Chapter 1: Secondary Command
gahhhh i really enjoyed this fic. MAJOR kudos for including all of the sci-fi effects. It was such a unique fic and I enjoyed every moment of it. I really love the way you write Kelly and the chemistry between Jim and Pam was practically palpable in every single chapter. Wow. Just brilliant!
Author's Response: Ah thank you! I really appreciate hearing that! I've wanted to write scifi JAM for a while so I'm super happy to hear it worked well for you!
Date: March 31, 2019 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Corridor
Such a nice ending! I love how fluid the action is, words, movement, great work!
Author's Response: Thank you! This chapter was a lot of fun to write and I'm glad it came out well in your opinion! Thanks for reading!
Date: March 31, 2019 05:03 pm Title: Chapter 14: The Corridor
Great way to wrap this up. After a long night and a long day, with a lot of soul searching along the way, they've got each other. Wonderful to see.
Excellent job as always in getting inside their heads throughout this story. So much was the same, but the parts that you changed were just as compelling. The sci-fi twist worked great. I really applaud you for bringing that one in, since there's not a log of it.
Ad Astra Per Aspera
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope it didn't end up too too introspective for you. I've appreciated your feedback throughout, and I'm glad you liked the last chapter!
Date: March 30, 2019 05:51 pm Title: Chapter 13: Corridor
This was a lot of fun. Now we have the opposite of that dying engine Jim picture from a few chapters back. Jim here is starting to light up again and find his footing. Pam's joy in her newfound freedom from Roy is only adding fuel to that engine, as evidenced by the prank he's planning.
The image of Pam nestled in his chest like that was also a cute image. Lots of really fun moments here. Including Pam saying she might still have need for that bridal room. Can't wait to see how this wraps up.
Author's Response: Thanks, warrior. I always appreciate how you find specific things to comment on. It's really helpful for the creative process!
Date: March 30, 2019 10:36 am Title: Chapter 13: Corridor
This was very sweet, especially Jim's awkwardness. The only thing I'm not that sure about is her using his name almost every time she addresses him. It takes a little bit of flow off the conversation. Other than that, my favourite chapter. Looking forwatd to the next, even though I really don't like this story to end.
Author's Response: Thanks for letting me know about how that was impacting the flow! I had her doing it because it was a way to signal in a Jim-chapter that Pam is trying to connect with him and he's missing it. But I can totally see how it felt overdone! And thanks for reading and reviewing, as always.
Date: March 27, 2019 07:37 am Title: Chapter 12: The Almanac
This was a great way to break them up. To have Roy actually listening to Pam for a while and then, when it became too much, go back to being angry.
I wasn't sure if you'd do it or just jump to Pam telling Jim about it, as so many fics do. I'm glad you did it as it is.
Eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! I thought it was important for Pam to get her say. I hope you enjoy the followup I just posted!
Date: March 26, 2019 04:17 pm Title: Chapter 12: The Almanac
First off it was only after I wrote my last review that I realized I used the word "great" five times. I'll try to improve my vocabulary from here on out.
Well done Pam! Roy's always been a bit of a bully, which means that on some level he's a coward. When someone actually stands up to him, he doesn't stand a chance. And that's what I see here.
Pam is cool and confident here and it's wonderful to see. I'm always kind of a sucker for Pam-finds-her-courage early stories and this one delivers. Looking forward to the rest for sure.
Author's Response: This is not a vocabulary test! I wholeheartedly agree about Roy. Thanks so much for the review, as ever.