1 [Report This]Date: October 04, 2020 06:17 pm Title: I thought about laying low
You've done a good job identifying WHY this rather clunky scheme works here - this is a moment when really, all they need is to know the other is in the game, and Michael gives him that opportunity.
I love Pam's bit where every other word is stupid - you convey her frustration accurately while leaving it comedic, which is nice.
I liked the tequila line. Oh, Jim. You should know you can't trust tequila by now. Especially when it tells you you can dance.
I do think Michael's silliness is pitched well - he needs to be pretty ridiculous to keep him in character in a story where he's semi effective and emotionally aware, otherwise he risks coming off as way too mature.
1 [Report This]Date: April 08, 2020 06:28 am Title: I thought about laying low
Please keep going with this, I love it.
“He could throw his computer out the window and quit his job. That’s always an option.”
This made me laugh out loud earning me eye rolls and weird looks, so thank you for that.
Author's Response: Haha, weird looks is definitely what I set out to accomplish!
1 [Report This]Date: April 08, 2020 04:08 am Title: I thought about laying low
Awww, I like soooo much that even apart, these two idiots react almost the same way! The fidgeting, the tea/coffee break, using the game metaphors... and Jim's reaction on the e-mails (as well as Pam's anticipation) are priceless.
And don't worry about Michael. I think he's in character. Especially when he borrowed Jim's moves or rewarded himself. It might be silly a little, but it's so sweet :)
Can't wait to see what Jim will answer and what will happen next!
Author's Response: Thanks Dernhelm!
1 [Report This]Date: April 07, 2020 08:58 pm Title: I thought about laying low
I like this!! I like how you’re writing from Jim, Pam, and Michael’s point of view. Keep it coming
Author's Response: Thanks Merria! It will keep coming, eventually ;)
1 [Report This]Date: April 07, 2020 06:33 pm Title: I thought about laying low
I love this so much. This is a side of Michael that I'm a big fan of!
Author's Response: Thanks Beth! I’m glad this Michael is hitting the mark!
1 [Report This]Date: April 07, 2020 05:55 pm Title: I thought about laying low
There's no way to make Michael too silly! You *have* seen the show right? :-)
This is so great. I love the agonizing over the emails on both ends. Pam's contemplation of quitting rather than having to send the email is fun. Your description of Jim's feelings when he sees the two emails is spot on. I'm only sorry the chapter ended. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Haha, thanks Sprinkles!
Date: April 07, 2020 05:34 pm Title: I thought about laying low
First off Jim and Pam's almost parallel swirling thoughts here are so on point. Even though they're apart and have no idea what the other one is thinking, I think it's lovely that you've got them thinking in very similar terms. Great way to show their connection even if it's a bit stretched right now.
Good on you Pam to play that card. Great way to break into what could have happened if they'd only talked to each other earlier.
Yes, Micheal is being silly here. After all, he's Micheal, silly is right in his wheelhouse. However it's a more pleasant rather than off-putting silly which is nice. It's not quite a Good Micheal moment, but it's also not far off. I liked it.
Author's Response:
I’m glad you caught all the parallels! It wasn’t all that subtle, but I was hoping people would get that they were basically going through the same thing...
It’s nice to hear that you’re finding the silly more endearing than ridiculous. I guess that’s what I was going for.
Thanks as always for your review!
1 [Report This]Date: April 07, 2020 05:08 pm Title: I thought about laying low
I'm loving this Michael. He's a very silly person, so keep it up.
Also I really wish she'd sent the first one ("I miss your stupid face.") because I think it would have really hit him in the head with how she was actually feeling. But maybe that's just me. I really enjoyed all the parts of this. Please keep going.
Author's Response: Oh, I’m glad! I was very tempted to have her send the first draft ;)
1 [Report This]Date: April 07, 2020 04:41 pm Title: I thought about laying low
I love your Michael lol. He might be just a touch more goofy than in the show, but I don't think it's enough to make him seem out of character. I'm loving this story so far, and I can't wait for Michael to rub it in their faces that he was the one to get them together lol
Author's Response: I’m glad you feel like he works - extra goofy or not! Thanks!