1 [Report This]Date: October 04, 2020 06:18 pm Title: I waited to make the call
You've done a good job here portraying the defining tension of their relationship at this point - they're reading from the same book without at all being from the same page.
I also think the use of the dialog from the Initiation demonstrates why this is headed in a different direction- the sense they each have that they're intentionally reconnecting completely reframes how they're thinking about it after the fact.
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 05:46 pm Title: I waited to make the call
Great way to have them start talking again. Especially after everything that's been building up in their heads. There's fear, caution, nervousness, and just the faintest glimpses of hope.
Still kind of hard for them to be 100% honest, but I get that. For their first time talking especially over the phone it makes sense. I actually like this version better than the phone call we saw in canon. Granted in canon we're not exactly sure how long they were talking, but it seemed in canon they dropped right into banter pretty quickly. Then all that kinda disappeared when the branches merged.
Here it's a lot more tentative, which to my mind fits better. You've also got them moving towards each other which is also nice to see. Great update.
Author's Response: Thanks Warrior!
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 10:58 am Title: I waited to make the call
This is really cute! I love your writing!
Author's Response: Thanks! I appreciate it!
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 10:19 am Title: I waited to make the call
Their miscommunications drive me CRAZY but I love it all the same. We can't have Jim and Pam without some heartache first.
Jim’s at least strewn some of the chaos here. He’d tossed a glitter bomb into the calm, clean room that was her life. Sure, she could vacuum up the bulk of the mess, but sure as shit she’s still finding glitter all over the place.
I think this is one of the absolute best analogies I've seen for Jim and Pam. Amazing.
I can't wait to see what happens next! Thank goodness for Michael's condo's birthday.
Author's Response: Thanks aly! I’m glad you liked that analogy! I had a lot of fun with it.
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 10:14 am Title: I waited to make the call
This is so fun. I love seeing Pam insecure about how she compares to his other dates because that is so very real and I think a large part of her.
Author's Response: Thanks boredhswf!
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 09:39 am Title: I waited to make the call
I'm glad that the phone call didn't get torpedoed, there were a few moments where it was cliff hanging.
I like that Jim is starting to acknowledge the position that he put Pam in. In canon I always thought it was rude the way he just dumped and ran, and they never really address it directly.
Looking forward to more, though I would not be opposed to any more oneshots in the interim because those were great too.
Author's Response: Thanks DG! Yeah, I feel the same - Jim really did just dump and run. It certainly put Pam into a messy situation... There’s a lot to be said for fix-it fics!
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 08:53 am Title: I waited to make the call
What a great job capturing the nerves and tension. Glad to read they were able to be sort of honest with each other. Can wait to read more
Author's Response: Thanks Merria! I feel like “sort of honest” is as good as it gets in early Season 3...
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 06:41 am Title: I waited to make the call
This dialogue was so perfectly awkward and angst ridden. And yet there were little flashes of hope. Very well done.
Author's Response: Thanks Sprinkles! I feel like awkwardness and angst is kind of where they’re at in early Season 3...
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 06:24 am Title: I waited to make the call
This story is just too good. Sprinkles of the original with all the newness and anticipation of a new story. I love it so much and awesome job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much Beth!
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 03:42 am Title: I waited to make the call
This was a delight of awkwardness (which thus feels very in character for this season). I especially liked the glitter bomb comparison. Yay story!
Author's Response:
I think “delight of awkwardness” is going to be my new bio for everything... Thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: April 13, 2020 03:36 am Title: I waited to make the call
God, I love the mutual awkwardness and all the hesitations and overthinking and everything in between! These interactions make me giddy and I'm craving for more!
Oh, and the line 'He’d given her time to process. A whole fifteen minutes,' made me laugh aloud. Yeah, Jim, you'd given her soooo much time. Well done, man, well done...
Author's Response: Thank you, Dernhelm!