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I made a tremendous mistake reading this story after 'Aeternum'...
'in a way he used to only do with her.'
I'm crying.
'a meaningful statement on the symbolism of a baby...and him.'
I'm wailing.
'she knew he heard the words 'I wouldn't let them' as clear as if she had spoken them aloud.'
I need to take a pause now. Okay, I feel slightly better, continue.
'The levity of his comment fell and landed on the cheap linoleum tiles at their feet.'
Nope, the same pain all over again.
But the ending, oh, the ending is heartbreakingly beautiful, and I hate my foreknowledge about the show's events...
Thank you so much for this story! And especially thank you that you published it at the same time with 'Aeternum,' so I can go and reread the last chapter, reminding myself that there are places where Jim and Pam are together and happy...

Author's Response: I'm so glad you could bounce back and forth. I always like to return to the JAM 'happy place' as well. :) Thank you as always, Dernhelm. <3

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I love how "quiet" this feels and yet how profound. When they have so few interactions, every one takes on new meaning.

I smiling at the description of Andy!

Author's Response: Thank you, Sprinkles, so very much. Yeah, I couldn't think of any other way to describe him, as I am definitely NOT a fan. ;P

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The image of Pam spilling her pain into her art is so achingly raw and beautiful. You write it so very well.

“even though he sat closer to her than ever before” For some reason that had never really occurred to me before & seeing it spelled out breaks my heart all over again about the distance between them in terms of their friendship in Season 3. I hate it here. But I love you for including this line and hitting me so very hard in the feels.

Bored. Seriously. The way you manage to take the simplest thing, that has been written about time and time again and give us something new and better and even more vivid. I just — This, I’m talking about this: “She would catch herself studying the back of his neck, where the edges of his long brown hair and the top of his collar collided as if all the mysteries of the last few months were written there”
Incredible.

Oh my. The cracks. Yes. Such an apt description.

“More often, days were punctuated by the lack of him, as he actively avoided her” You’re capturing the angst of Season 3 (& making it your own) so very beautifully. It breaks my heart all over again.
“Square footage does not lie” Oh. OH. Oh. What a line.

The whole break room scene is everything. “as they traced invisible markings on her soul” There are no coherent words. It’s just so very perfect.

This whole chapter (fic) is right in that angst sweet spot. It hits all the Season 3 notes in all the best ways.

Author's Response: So, you know that gif reaction on twitter the other day when someone receives a great review? Yeah, that's always me reading yours. Thank you so, so much. <3

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This is the kind of story that hits with big chunks of emotion and feeling and I have to almost sidle up to to let my brain process them. That's a major compliment to be clear. You do a great job of crystalizing despair here.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Comfect! 

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I'm gripped...(In a good way.)

Author's Response: Thank you!

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“A phantom limb that ached and throbbed in the absence of the skin, muscle and sinew that used to occupy the space.” This is pure poetry.

“resigning herself to the backward progress and allowing his voice to fill her the way it always had.” It’s fine. I’m fine. No one’s crying here...

Pam waiting on that message that doesn’t come is... ugh. I mean, this is a pretty unique situation, but somehow it toes that kind between friendship breakup and actual breakup. I feel like losing a genuine best friend has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. And to reach out to them and not have them respond... it would ache in a whole new way. “If this was a message, she heard it loud and clear.” Oh Pam...

The angst. Oh the angst. The Merger with Pam’s flaring and spiraling hope. Then the scenes in her apartment. “this was her purgatory.” I’m sure it would have felt exactly that way to Pam, like she deserved it - even more so in this world you’ve created where she went to him and essentially set him free for his (perceived) good.

I look forward to seeing how you will spin the words to make me feel all the things next chapter.

Author's Response: I always enjoy hearing what your favorite parts are in your reviews. Your words are so kind and encouraging and appreciate them so much! Thanks :)

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Hey, way to break my heart right off the bat. It's fine. I'm fine. It's a good thing I love reading angst so much, because this is so very angsty and I'm here for every bit of it.

It's almost magically, how you're sketching out this story in words and not shapes. I can't choose one favorite to rule them all, but 2 of my favorite lines in this chapter are "She loosened the grip of her hands, bringing them forward to look at them; angry pink lines against pale white skin as the circulation once again flowed." and " His gray t-shirt revealing to her the planes and surfaces of his body that she now allowed herself to notice."

Runners up include: “I was afraid. I still am, but I’m here.” because it's not often we get Pam admitting to Jim that she was scared that quickly; and I really like the honesty between these two happening so immediately after CN.

Well, I liked it right up until the part where Pam tells Jim he was made for more than her. That one stings a little. *shrugs*

I am so looking forward to seeing what you have planned for the rest of this story.

Author's Response:

I'm beginning to think I love the angst a little too much! Thank you so much for your beautiful words, they mean so much. 

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No I don't hate you. Especially with the promise of hopefully what's do come that you've alluded to in replying to the reviews from last chapter. We're right in the dark days of angst of S3 here so all this of course makes perfect sense for Pam. Again you write her thoughts wonderfully.

The bits of colors starting to come into her life as she starts to figure out who she is by herself, the warmth she felt by hearing his voice, the dissapointment of not getting a reply text. And of course the pain that was the Merger.

"she pressed on the bruise of her pain masochistically,"

What a great way to describe everything going on with her. That right there for me really sells the feelings going through her. She let him go, now she has to face that. Not the best place for her, but again this is the reality of where she is and you captured that really well.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Warrior. That is one of my favorite parts too. That pain you know you have to go through, of your own devices. Thanks!

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I read the chapter title.
I knew that to expect.
But then I started to read, stumbled on "The blank screen looked back at her mockingly. If this was a message, she heard it loud and clear," and I'm a sobbing mess all over again.
It's amazing, the way you describe Pam's gains and losses. And achingly beautiful.
Thank you!

Author's Response: It's always bittersweet to know the pain is coming! Thank you so much, Dernhelm!

Really liked it. The agony and self pity. I can only imagine that Pam may feel so after being taken for granted for years in a dead weight relationship. Looking forward to more such one shots from season 3, giving insight into their heads and feelings.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I've always felt she had a lot of things to work through before she was in a place to be with Jim. Thanks for reading and commenting! 

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Omg I was not ready for this tonight. This is so good. More would be even better.

Author's Response: Aww, thanks Sprinkles! I don't know what I'm thinking adding another WIP but here we are. 😂Thank you so much for commenting!

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Look, cliches are a cliche because they work. Write all the things! Always write all the things.

“the axis of her universe had now shifted and realigned itself to his” YES. My heart.

Her getting home... finality, conclusion. It’s all so beautifully written.

“a sand foundation” This is such a fitting way to describe the life she had with Roy.

Ugh. I love this. And I hate it. I like to tell myself that if Jim knew she’d broken up with Roy he would have stayed. But, the idea that Pam wants more for him and would let him go (not seeing herself as part of what’s best) fits so well with who Pam is before she finds herself without Roy. This is Season 2 Pam all over.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Jenna. I always felt that she would want to let him go and that she needed that time for growth. As painful as it was, jumping right into a new relationship, even with her soulmate, might have been a huge mistake. She need to find herself on the other side of that path of change first. Thank you!