Date: October 24, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione
Okay so the part where he does his Elvis impression at the checkout was so funny and I definitely appreciate the level of attention to detail you have going here. I imagine your notes are extensive with so many things to keep track of.
On the boat, I love the whole concept of her seeing things she didn't see before (like Roy) and also her awareness that Jim would notice things like her clothing. I keep thinking she's going to turn a corner and find him cheating.
I'm veeeery interested in this Randall angle! What does he know?
I love how you are setting this up and I really hope she sees and hears something that will open her eyes. GREAT cliffhanger.
Lots of things to pay attention to that could circle back or mean something later - good thing you have an eye for detail.
Speaking of eyes - yes she needs to open her eyes but it's Pam - it's going to be a long journey.
The Randall angle just beginning.
Thanks for reading and your reviews.
Date: October 22, 2021 09:31 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery
As anyone knows who has ever read anything I’ve written, I’m firmly in the camp of Roy is just an irredeemable, terrible human being but I always thought there was more to the the Jim and Pam interaction at the beginning of this episode. It always seemed like the way she said “a little” was very loaded and you can tell it messed with Jim’s head a bit. I love that you give us a little insight to what happened there and to the fact that she might of actually enjoyed herself.
I appreciate how she quickly realizes she can’t alter the past for the sake of the present. I also appreciate how you wrote Michael as completely unfazed by the entire notion that they have time traveled. Again, you write him really well.
One of the biggest challenges in writing this story (especially once getting into it) was the whole Roy bit. I mean in canon she was with him for almost 10 years and I struggled throughout my creating this to figure out why.
I decided there had to be some happy times, some good memories, something like I said besides inertia. If ever there was a time she and he would be getting along and she would be feeling loved by him, it would be post re-engagement.
But don't worry, plenty of hateable Roy to come too.
Thanks as always for sharing your feelings and your thoughts on this story. It's always so inspiring to hear from you.
Date: October 18, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione
*But she did enjoy being able to show off what little knowledge she had, and while they both still laughed when she did, Jim’s amusement seeming more of the ‘with her’ variety, while Roy’s leaning a touch more towards ‘at her’, they both showed their pleasure at her attempts.*
Oh, Pam. Wake up, lol.
I screamed at the "Cocktail" reference. This strikes me as a movie Pam would enjoy and then be embarrassed to admit to Jim she enjoyed it.
Still digging Pam Momming Michael, and very interested in seeing what (if anything) they affect on the cruise...
So behind on everything-thanks for sticking with this story and the review.
Pam's got a long journey ahead and a lot to see before she 'wakes up' but i promise this is not a dream.
Glad you liked and got the Cocktail reference - I imagine that didn't play for everyone but I still can see Tom doing the Hippy Hippy Shake and so Pam could too.
Lots more of Michael and Pam to come.
Date: October 17, 2021 10:15 am Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione
"He must have looked up nautical terms back a few weeks ago when planning this shindig and learned the meaning of coxswain, hoping to find some way to work in a that’s what she said joke over the course of the night." Yep. That... that is what happened. Absolutely. This feels like a huge missed opportunity in canon too.
Pam's pride at using the baseball analogy is sweet... and also a very apt description of Michael. Just when you think he's out of trouble, he always finds a way to leap right back in. His not-quite-getting-it password suggestions were spot on, too.
For the record: I think Stanley noticed. He just doesn't care. "Yes, Pam is time traveling. I wish I could time travel too... forward. To me being in my head asleep and not on this damn boat."
There's some fun bar material too... I would actually be willing to be at a lot of money that both canon Creed and the actual Creed Bratton are pretty good shakes as a bartender.
I'd actually kinda love to see a conversation between the two Pams. I think they'd have a lot to talk about.
Eeeeeep. That's a heck of a cliffhanger to leave us on. And feels like a good way to get Pam to reset her expectations - on the boat to make sure he gets engaged, but incidentally and accidentally getting a second chance to observe the 27 seconds. Looking forward to seeing how that goes for her...
As usual, I'm grinning widely as I read your review.
You crack me up with the comment about Stanley - now you have nailed him.
I 100% believe that about Creed - but wonder who if anyone gets the Tom Cruise, Cocktail reference.
Don't worry - while Pam won;t get to talk to herself she will get someone to talk to...
Again I really am sorry to make these chapters so short but each one short as they are are taking a lot of careful planning.
But two things happen in next chapter I hope will please you - even if they don't make this story get written any faster.
Thanks as always for the review!!!!
Date: October 16, 2021 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione
I love this chapter. Pam nearly bumping into herself, Michael being Michael, I got the end of the chapter wanting even more!
MOre -You Want more?
Oh I got more for you.
Seriously though, thanks for both the early reviews and the current ones.
Date: October 16, 2021 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione
Ok, need to pause reading this because of the opening lines. I have this image of Micheal saying coxswain like how it reads, "cox-swain," which also translates to his new nickname for Pam. This rather than the correct nautical pronuciation of, "cox'sun." Ok, back to reading.
Kind of an introspective chapter this time around. With maybe just a couple more puzzle pieces falling into place. Jim laughs with her while Roy laughs at her.
At this point in the night it's interesting that you still have her in denial about how Roy behaves when he's drunk. I wonder if that will change at all as the night goes on. I know past Pam was over the moon that Roy finally set a date that night. Will Future Pam feel the same way if she happens to overhear the coversation that led to that declaration? Likewise if Future Pam overhears how cool Jim was with Katy at the end? Lots of possiblities as to how this can go and I'm 100% here for it.
However the latter pronounced, the first part has cox and since Michael is like a 8 year boy, I could only imagine his laughter at thinking of how he could put it in use on the night- but thanks to your pointing this out in the review I added a line to clarify how he also botches another word here. SO big thanks there -writing FF - It takes a village.
I few more little insights - yes.
I know this story is moving along at a slow pace - but it is meant to be a slow burn. In fact, just because she is time travelling -she still is the person who took ten years to see how wrong Roy was for her - and then went back to him again. But perhaps seeing things again, from different angles and ...nope I won't say more now - that would take away the fun.
I'm glad you are here for it - and thanks for that and as always your thoughtful review.
Date: October 15, 2021 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip
I’m so intrigued at how they are going to get out of this! It was such a well written chapter that the end snuck up on me.
Excellent use of Gaussian, by the way.
The entire sequence of them traveling was so well done and the imagery so vivid that I could see everything so clearly in my mind. Great chapter!
You know how certain scenes come to you - and are written before everything else...and the everything else gets filled in around it? That was the time traveling sequence so I'm tickled you noticed it and could see it.
Time travel does create a lot of limitations but half the fun here is getting them out of it (the other half is the hard part).
Thank you again for such high praise - really does mean so much.
Date: October 15, 2021 01:53 pm Title: Part I: Chapter 1. New Carpet
I’m FINALLY getting caught up with everything and this story was one of the first. So sorry!
Also, I’m not sure how much advice I give beyond “hey that sounds great!” but I’ll take it!
So I think Michael is actually a pretty tricky character to write and you seem to do such a great job at nailing his voice. This whole opening scene is no exception and I can absolutely see him doing all these things.
I love that you mentioned Faulkner and using it to insult Roy is just an added bonus.
I also think it is quite clever how you are setting this up. It’s very believable, which I feel was not easy to accomplish. Can’t wait to keep reading!
Never underestimate what a little support can do. Even just being able to bounce ideas off my friends and having them to be excited for me is a big boost.
Thanks for the vote of confidence with my Michael writing. There will be a lot of him in this story and getting him right is crucial. Don't know what it says that I can get in his head so well, but I'll take it.
Love to stick it to that ignorant buffoon.
Again so glad you are coming along on this trip - can't wait for you to read more too.
Date: October 03, 2021 09:12 pm Title: Chapter 5 -Twins
For a short chapter there seems to be a lot here. Future Pam has already been spotted by Past People. And it's Roy, and he is his typical boorish self. Basically yelling at Pam to bring him booze the not even hiding the fact he's got a wandering eye. Great job in painting him as the oaf who Pam really should have grown past by now.
Again Future Pam's thoughts betray her. Almost feels like she's putting together a puzzle piece by piece but the box that has the final picture on it is facedown. However she's smart enough to know how the pieces go together even if the final image is still a mystery. In this case the piece is that while Roy wouldn't realize she's different due to her clothes, Jim would. Jim is the guy in her life who notices the small details that bring her to life. Looking forward to her adding a few more puzzle pieces as she reflects on things further.
Randall is on to things now. That should be fun. Nice way to keep that going.
Future Michael is kind of behaving himself. Granted he's also sick as a dog, though I wonder if that's due to bad pizza or the effects of time travel. I don't remember Harry or Hermione becoming sick to their stomachs due to Time Turner effects. Still it's an effective way to keep the two Michael's apart which could only be a good thing right now.
Also feels like Pam has a little hiding place. Mayhaps a perch to observe other instances from this night? As always looking forward to more.
The more I write him, the more I hate him and then wonder why oh why did that relationship last as long as it did - (I'll tell you writing her thoughts on that may be harder than keeping up the continuity in a time travel story)
But I think you described it well as a puzzle and I'm excited to share the pieces with you chapter by chapter.
Original Michael had his bout of seasickness in the episode so lets just say this is a combo of the pizza, the time travel, the boat and plot device.
Thanks for the review as always.
Date: October 03, 2021 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 5 -Twins
You continue to do well plumbing the dark depths of Michael's brain. Because clearly his first reaction to the thought of twin Pams would be the sexual implications, and of course he would think someone might mistake Katy for Pam's twin, and of course this would all, somehow, in his head, turn into a justification for rebellion against Captain Jack. That's Michael to a T.
So we already have one revelation - Roy's wandering eye. Feels like there's a lot Pam could witness tonight that would be a difference-maker.
You did well using the multiple Pams to set up the contrast between Pam and Roy with [ast!Pam's thought about not wanting to engage in their in-jokes in front of Roy and Katy and between Roy and Jim with present!Pam's presumption that obviously Jim was more likely to notice her clothing change than her actual fiancee.
I like that Pam is genre aware here... she's coming to this with a basic understanding of the risks of time travel and it shows, and she's also aware that both in general and in dealing with Michael the chances that this very important night for her will be knocked off course are high. I share her worry... you know, kind of.
I am increasingly desperate to know what's going on with Randall. Although given that he clearly knows something about time travel, maybe however that happened also explains how they were able to get the shot of Dwight...
Thanks - Michael seems to come natural to me (a little scary, right) but maybe it's because I raised boys who are still not quite adults...or maybe it's that with him as long as its kind of ridiculous (or sex-related or inappropriate) it can work.
Remember the mention of the blue sweater (a little cheat for a loyal reader).
Yes, remember Pam does believe in ghosts and while up until now not time travel, she does have an interest in things slightly mystical (and love her some Harry Potter) so she would be somewhat versed in the rules.
More Randall is coming but really he is a step to - nahhh, I can't - sorry you're going to have to wait - you'll thank me. I hope it will be worth it.
Date: October 03, 2021 08:19 pm Title: Chapter 5 -Twins
I love the idea that Pam thinks Michael is playing hide and seek, lol.
Oh my god if Future Pam catches Roy cheating on her I will scream (in a good way). Can't wait to see what's next...
Author's Response: I think that's the one line he won't cross (or will he?). I really do enjoy the Pam/Michael relationship - glad you do too.
Date: September 28, 2021 08:04 pm Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
So it feels a bit like a filler chapter, but there'e nothing wrong with that. There's a lot of great stuff in here. From Pam feeling like she has to switch between mother to embarrassed daughter due to Micheal's antics. You wrote that relationship really well. Especially with Micheal pulling out a character like that.
Seems like Pam is doing more thinking about the night of the Booze Cruise. Hindsight may be 20/20 but Future Pam here only has two weeks of hindsight to reflect on as well as her recent trip with Roy which appears to have overshadowed some of the other things going on that night. But she is also becoming more aware of everything that happened. Her relief that Jim and Katy were done. How she was feeling while up on deck with Jim. So she may not have 20/20 hindsight just yet, but it's getting clearer.
Hoo boy, she's heading back to the boat with Future Micheal? This seems like it's going to be a challenge for sure. However we also have Randall who appears to know there's a Future Pam on the prowl. Maybe she'll have an ally. She also has two more weeks to mull things over before she catches up with her own timeline. Lots of possibilities for sure. Nice job.
A bit of filler - a bit of set up and explanation, a bit of foreshadowing. A little appetizer before we get to the real meal.
As usual you have good insights - and I think you'll enjoy where this is going but there will still be some surprises along the way.
Thanks as always for a great review.
Date: September 28, 2021 11:42 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
You always do such a good job with the mother-son dynamic between Pam and Michael, and you put it to really great comic use here. As if time travel wasn't challenge enough for her. He really just finds so many different ways to be irritating in this chapter... appreciate you pulling out the Elvis accent! Seriously, though... he really is about the last choice you'd make for a partner in time travel.
Michael thinking that time travelling means he gets two paychecks this week is perfect Michael logic, and his attempt to joke with the cashier is perfect Michael cringe - harmless enough that you feel okay laughing about it.
Pam being relieved at knowing that this was the end of Jim and Katy... and that being part of why this turned out to be a good night for her... is a good choice. And I *really* liked this description of Pam's reactions to Jim's near-confession... this feels very much in line with a Pam in total denial of what she's feeling, someone whose body is sending messages that her mind is refusing to translate into conscious thought.
Looking forward to seeing where the rest of the evening takes our travelers!
Aww thanks - probably comes from experience (the mother/son part, not the dealing with Michael).
I can always count on you to appreciate my humorous stuff (and find it funny enough) - I do think this situation present plenty of moments for Michael to be Michael so taking advantage of that.
Yes, denial and inner conflict big players here. Let's see what 2 weeks of reflection will do.
I'm so thankful for your excitement about this story and all your reviews and comments.
Date: September 28, 2021 07:04 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
*She only hoped Elvis would not stick around for the rest of the afternoon as he often did once he made his debut. *
This sentence cracked me up.
Love the way you wrote the booze cruise moment. I still think it's such an interesting choice for you to place Pam in the headspace where she is probably the happiest with Roy we ever see her. Love her interactions with Michael as always.
Glad you appreciated the Elvis sighting- Like I said, I expect Elvis was a common visitor to DM.
Yup - it will make for an interesting experience when revisiting where she'd been before.
Thanks for coming along and sharing your thoughts. What I love about being here in MTT - the input and appreciation we show each other.
Date: September 28, 2021 06:59 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
I see what you did there! Uh-huh-huh. A lovely written chapter setting us up for what's to come, and a reminder of Pam's recent journey.
thanks for the sweet review.
Date: September 21, 2021 03:46 pm Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery
I really appreciate the look into Pam’s slightly happier vacation with Roy here - as much as I’m biased to think Roy is just awful all the time, it makes much more sense that she must have had at least some good moments with him that weren’t captured on camera, and it’s very in keeping with the way she is in that episode afterwards. Although the line about his attention ‘only’ being split between her an the skiing is also so sad (and telling). And oooh we’ve come back to a v interesting time - can’t wait to see how this plays out! I love the little note with the coat too. And Pam and Michael on this escapade together continues to be a joy - I particularly love Pam’s parental softly whispered bark, this is such an excellent description of the way she is with Michael. And Randall at the end!!! The plot thickens…
So yes, had to be some better time with Roy - she did seem happy some of the time with him even if fleeting and even if he was awful a lot.
Pam and Michael - I have a soft spot for them together although their relationship has not yet grown to the sweetness I see in later seasons, - who knows maybe after this experience it will - or will she just want to kill him after this...we'll have to see.
Thanks as always for being a regular reader and reviewer - I do appreciate it and enjoy sharing this with you.
Date: September 17, 2021 10:55 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery
I think they really did have a good time. Pam seemed quite happy after she came back from that trip if I remember the episode after correctly. I love how this chapter really starts to open the story up. And so the realisation of the time travel paradox begins - you can't interfere in the past! Mwhahahaha!
Sinister laugh noted.
The paradox begins indeed as does my challenge in writing double timelines - thanks for your help in making sure I don't mess anything up and the reviews.
Date: September 17, 2021 10:53 am Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip
Behind with my reviews. In we go... you've totally nailed the characterisations, especially Michael, in this one.
Author's Response: Behind on my responses so we're even....thank you - Michael is fun to write.
Date: September 17, 2021 08:09 am Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery
I don't disagree that Pam and Roy enjoyed that trip. It was right after they set the date and Pam did look genuinly happy that night on the booze cruise. Makes sense that some of those feelings would still carry over. I always kind of saw it as the last gasp of the Pam and Roy relationship. It kept life support going until Casino Night when everything finally came to a head and the realities really settled in. So that's my take on that.
Otherwise interesting choice to send them back to this time. I can see a lot of possibilites for how things could happen. Will future Pam and Micheal get aboard the boat? If so what will future Pam overhear/see that could give her pause? Will future Pam go insance babysitting a Micheal who wants to re-live the time and "fix" things?
It's also telling to me how much introspection Pam is doing. Despite everything going on it feels like she's is unintentionally comparing her two main relationships. Roy is only 100% with her when there's nothing else to distract him. Jim is 100% with her despite distractions. Nice juxtaposition. I wonder if Pam will be able to figure that out any time soon?
I also liked how you set past Jim and Pam apart there at the end. The italics were a good way to clue us in there. However Randall seems to know what's up too. Nice little twist. Looking forwared to seeing how that plays out as well.
Last gasp indeed - but yes, she seemed happy enough both on Booze Cruise and even when she returned from trip.
Good questions indeed - time will tell (pun intended)
Look out for the italics in chapters to come - one of the challenges in writing 2 versions of the same timeline but good to see you picked up on the shift.
Thanks for reviewing as always - very helpful to see what you see (and get verification my story is coming across as intended). And of course I just adore reviews.
Date: September 16, 2021 06:37 pm Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery
As you know I'm 100% on board with Team There Must Be *Something* To Recommend Roy, and I thought you did a good job finding the balance of that here - that Roy is capable of being a good partner but really only does it when there's basically no other option, and immediately thereafter having Pam talking herself into thinking that what Roy wants (over her express say-so) is the right thing.
I love the comic use of Meredith's Christmas flashing incident to lodge us in time... this is a much better way for that to come back than for Michael to just use it to bully Meredith. And I *really* love the idea of Pam going back to pre-Casino Night, a moment which ACHES to be redone.
Michael just rolling with the punches and snacking and enjoying his carpet is fun.
But let's be real. THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE TWIST THAT RANDALL KNOWS THEY CAN TIME TRAVEL. That's what I call a cliff-hanger!
I need my own Time Turner (don't we all) - so busy but wanted to say thanks for the review. Glad you felt the enjoyment of the trip was not OOC but also that she defaults to his wants is the balance.
This part with Meredith while fun to write made me feel a little bad for writing it about Kate Flannery- but glad it worked for you here. I did try to research what the old windows filmstrip photo displays looked like - couldn't find them. Hope at least some readers can remember them.
I have a lot of fun with Michael in this story. Randall too however, sorry to keep you waiting. Especially on a cliffhanger.
Date: September 16, 2021 06:20 pm Title: Chapter 3. The Discovery
I’m enjoying this story so much! I love how she figured out when they were, and the attention to detail in that discovery. Re: Roy, it’s sort of fun to write him as an aggressive douchebag (I’m guilty of it for sure) but I agree with your take that it can’t be all that terrible. It’s hard to believe Pam would stay with Roy even as written. But then again, Pam is written in S2 as a person who *would* believably stay with him. So there has to be some good there, I would hope.
Very excited to see the changes they make (assuming you mess with the canon!) and also what’s going on with the camera crew…
SO busy and so behind that I wish I had a Time Turner so a quick note of thanks - As I write I am kind of shocked at her staying with him too, in this story and on show but inertia is pretty powerful.
Date: September 12, 2021 02:45 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip
Ok, I think this is the best possible outcome I could’ve hoped for: Michael and Pam time travelling together! (And Pam-trotter, LOL). I love the way you’ve written Jim’s excitement about the prank - him cupping the time turner like a baby bird as he hands it to her is just a lovely image. And Michael continues to be brilliantly Michael in all of this - ‘Jim’s a wizard?’ and ‘Ahhh, pizza and popcorn. Wow, I’m starving. Time traveling really makes you hungry’ are I think two of my favourite lines here. I also enjoyed Pam standing on her own foot to try to work out if she was dreaming. And the little dig at Roy with him acting like laying the carpet is the most strenuous work he’s done, because…seriously. I really, really can’t wait to see where exactly in time they’ve ended up - I feel like Michael’s confusion with the hours and minutes is going to bite them…
Yes these two will make for a lot of hijinks. Jim's a Wizard was my favorite line too so glad you enjoyed it.
Oh - how right you are, they'll have a lot more time to kill in the past than they'll know what to do with (and lots for me to write).
Thanks again for your reviews - I do love and appreciate them.
Date: September 11, 2021 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip
Oh boy! I wonder how far if she messed up minutes vs hours plus add in the Michael factor....
Excited! Love the character work in Pam's head too about Roy and Jim and Michael.
The Michael will come into play a lot in this fic. I'm glad you are here for it.
Thanks for your kind words and excitement.
Date: September 11, 2021 04:59 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip
YAY!!! I love that it's Pam and Michael who did the time-traveling, I can just see all the amazing opportunities you've set up here.
*The fact was irrelevant because they did not live in the world that JK Rowling created and what he had in his hands was a toy.*
This made me laugh out loud, hahah
Update soon please!
Yes, those two together provides a lot of material and hopefully more opportunities to make you laugh out loud.
Thanks for reviews that make me smile and make me want to get the next update out sooner.
Date: September 10, 2021 06:51 pm Title: Chapter 2. Strange Trip
Michael being easily fooled by a cheap piece of mass-produced memorabilia that Pam is explicitly telling him is a cheap piece of mass-produced memorabilia is just... so very Michael.
I love Pam's very distinct fear of disappointing Jim by screwing up the prank... and how she's sad to let him down while by contrast just worrying about Roy getting increasingly grumpy with her.
"She had to wonder what he did in the warehouse every day if having to lay carpet with Darryl yesterday was that much more strenuous than his regular job of hauling pallets and loading boxes." GOOD QUESTION, ROY. Especially knowing that you napped through part of that!
You did a good job placing us in Pam's head and letting us see through her eyes what their time travel looks like. And Michael immediately and blithely accepting that they actually time traveled was a really nice touch.
Looking forward to the next update here!
I'm so glad you are enjoying it so far... lots to come with a lot more of Michael's Michaelness, Roy's Royness, and lots of new surprises.
Thanks as always for your fast and fun to read reviews.