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Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 24, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

Okay so the part where he does his Elvis impression at the checkout was so funny and I definitely appreciate the level of attention to detail you have going here. I imagine your notes are extensive with so many things to keep track of.

On the boat, I love the whole concept of her seeing things she didn't see before (like Roy) and also her awareness that Jim would notice things like her clothing. I keep thinking she's going to turn a corner and find him cheating.

I'm veeeery interested in this Randall angle! What does he know?

I love how you are setting this up and I really hope she sees and hears something that will open her eyes. GREAT cliffhanger.

Author's Response:

Lots of things to pay attention to that could circle back or mean something later - good thing you have an eye for detail.

Speaking of eyes - yes she needs to open her eyes but it's Pam - it's going to be a long journey. 

The Randall angle just beginning. 

Thanks for reading and your reviews. 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: October 18, 2021 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

*But she did enjoy being able to show off what little knowledge she had, and while they both still laughed when she did, Jim’s amusement seeming more of the ‘with her’ variety, while Roy’s leaning a touch more towards ‘at her’, they both showed their pleasure at her attempts.*

Oh, Pam. Wake up, lol.

I screamed at the "Cocktail" reference. This strikes me as a movie Pam would enjoy and then be embarrassed to admit to Jim she enjoyed it.

Still digging Pam Momming Michael, and very interested in seeing what (if anything) they affect on the cruise...

Author's Response:

So behind on everything-thanks for sticking with this story and the review.

Pam's got a long journey ahead and a lot to see before she 'wakes up' but i promise this is not a dream.

Glad you liked and got the Cocktail reference - I imagine that didn't play for everyone but I still can see Tom doing the Hippy Hippy Shake and so Pam could too.

Lots more of Michael and Pam to come.

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: October 17, 2021 10:15 am Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

"He must have looked up nautical terms back a few weeks ago when planning this shindig and learned the meaning of coxswain, hoping to find some way to work in a that’s what she said joke over the course of the night." Yep. That... that is what happened. Absolutely. This feels like a huge missed opportunity in canon too.

Pam's pride at using the baseball analogy is sweet... and also a very apt description of Michael. Just when you think he's out of trouble, he always finds a way to leap right back in. His not-quite-getting-it password suggestions were spot on, too.

For the record: I think Stanley noticed. He just doesn't care. "Yes, Pam is time traveling. I wish I could time travel too... forward. To me being in my head asleep and not on this damn boat."

There's some fun bar material too... I would actually be willing to be at a lot of money that both canon Creed and the actual Creed Bratton are pretty good shakes as a bartender.

I'd actually kinda love to see a conversation between the two Pams. I think they'd have a lot to talk about.

Eeeeeep. That's a heck of a cliffhanger to leave us on. And feels like a good way to get Pam to reset her expectations - on the boat to make sure he gets engaged, but incidentally and accidentally getting a second chance to observe the 27 seconds. Looking forward to seeing how that goes for her...

Author's Response:

As usual, I'm grinning widely as I read your review. 

You crack me up with the comment about Stanley - now you have nailed him.

I 100% believe that about Creed - but wonder who if anyone gets the Tom Cruise, Cocktail reference. 

Don't worry - while Pam won;t get to talk to herself she will get someone to talk to...

Again I really am sorry to make these chapters so short but each one short as they are are taking a lot of careful planning. 

But two things happen in next chapter I hope will please you - even if they don't make this story get written any faster.

Thanks as always for the review!!!! 

 

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2021 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

I love this chapter. Pam nearly bumping into herself, Michael being Michael, I got the end of the chapter wanting even more!

Author's Response:

 

MOre -You Want more?

Oh I got more for you.

Seriously though, thanks for both the early reviews and the current ones.

Cheers. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 16, 2021 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Code Word: Hermione

Ok, need to pause reading this because of the opening lines. I have this image of Micheal saying coxswain like how it reads, "cox-swain," which also translates to his new nickname for Pam. This rather than the correct nautical pronuciation of, "cox'sun." Ok, back to reading.

Kind of an introspective chapter this time around. With maybe just a couple more puzzle pieces falling into place. Jim laughs with her while Roy laughs at her.

At this point in the night it's interesting that you still have her in denial about how Roy behaves when he's drunk. I wonder if that will change at all as the night goes on. I know past Pam was over the moon that Roy finally set a date that night. Will Future Pam feel the same way if she happens to overhear the coversation that led to that declaration? Likewise if Future Pam overhears how cool Jim was with Katy at the end? Lots of possiblities as to how this can go and I'm 100% here for it.

Author's Response:

However the latter pronounced, the first part has cox and since Michael is like a 8 year boy, I could only imagine his laughter at thinking of how he could put it in use on the night- but thanks to your pointing this out in the review I added a line to clarify how he also botches another word here. SO big thanks there -writing FF - It takes a village.

I few more little insights - yes. 

I know this story is moving along at a slow pace - but it is meant to be a slow burn. In fact, just because she is time travelling -she still is the person who took ten years to see how wrong Roy was for her - and then went back to him again. But perhaps seeing things again, from different angles and ...nope I won't say more now - that would take away the fun.

I'm glad you are here for it - and thanks for that and as always your thoughtful review.

 

 

 

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