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Reviewer: boredhswf Signed [Report This]
Date: December 30, 2021 02:26 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

Sorry, I'm so behind!

I really love the way you are showing the relationship between Michael and Pam. You've done a great job of having her be frustrated with him but still ultimately have a fondness for him. It was subtle on the show and you have worked it in wonderfully here.

I'm liking Randall even more now. And you might have said this before and admittedly I know very very little about HP but I love how you've shaped him into this Dumbledore-esque character.

Author's Response:

Thanks for catching up! - I always loved the Michael - Pam relationship and how it grows over the seasons...this fic is as much about them as it is about Jam - so love your mentioning that here.

Since I promised some HP, this was a good way to tie a bit more in (as you also know this fic is not hugely HP - really just borrowed their Time Turner and the headmaster)

Thanks again. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: December 29, 2021 11:38 am Title: Chapter 12. Bruises and the Zombie Apocalypse

You know, time travel really is stressful! I'm glad Pam's trying to stick a few steps ahead. Although I can't help but worry what it means that Aunt Janet isn't going to call Original!Pam now... that feels like a loose end that could come back to bite them...

This was a very effective use of time travel here to make a point about Pam's emotional journey. Whether she's living it twice or not, she knows the future with Roy, and it's pretty boring and often unpleasant. I also thought you did well with the ski trip - that seems spot on for how little Roy would tolerate wedding planning getting in the way of literally anything else he wants to do, and the way in which "compromise" with them almost always just means Pam loses.

Jim being a significant presence in this one place she has to herself in their home was a nice touch.

Loved the shout-out to Virtus, and also appreciate that you ended up using it to solve a pretty considerable problem for Pam.

Looking forward to getting more of her adventure here!

Author's Response:

Is it a loose end or a red herring?- Only time will tell.

Yea, that girl is always having to make excuses to herself for him. He really does suck. Too bad she has better vision now but still isn't quite seeing it.

Had to drop in a little Jim some way -and then getting to do it again and have both him and Dwight help solve an issue she didn't know she'd be having - and get to hint at V by way of it - well I'll admit it was fun to write.

Thanks as always for the review! 

  

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: December 29, 2021 09:58 am Title: Chapter 12. Bruises and the Zombie Apocalypse

*On other nights when his drunkenness interfered with his abilities, he would either try for way too long to get it to work, which was more exhausting than pleasurable for Pam, or on occasion become angry and place the blame on her, through slurred speech and hurtful words assert she wasn’t sexy enough to arouse him properly.*

This made me feel so sad for Pam, but somehow I can totally buy it. I hate thinking she would suffer through this kind of shit by choice but as we know, S2 Pam is a different animal than the later versions. (Seriously though, Pam, DTMFA)

*Curious the nature of a bruise, how something so unsightly and so clearly unnatural caused so little pain until one pushed upon it. *

This took my breath away, honestly. I immediately compared it to her relationship with Roy before you even explained it, but everything detailing the bruise was just beautifully written.

Author's Response:

Okay I kind love that you say DTMFA cause like she totally should but as you also pointed out she's still season 2 Pam who's still adjusting to her better eyesight and not ready to make any sudden moves.

I was very excited to write the bruise bit which came about as I inspected one of my own (that I had no recollection of how it got there) and made the observation that became the analogy.

Glad you liked it so much.

I was expecting you to comment on the clothing bit, but I guess you already did in the past review. You had very good instincts and I had already been mulling over how to deal with getting Pam dressed for 2 weeks. I spend way to much time thinking about the issues that time traveling can create. (oh and Michael, I felt like between the fact he wears suits and he's kind of clueless anyway, he wouldn't notice missing clothes quite in the same way.

As always- thanks for the review and your kind words. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 28, 2021 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 12. Bruises and the Zombie Apocalypse

Loved the reference to Virtus there. Just wanted to get that out of the way at the off.

So back to fog filled confused mind Pam. The analogy of the bruise was very apt I think. It's something that's wrong, but it only hurts if you prod at it and you can very easily hide it and pretend nothing is wrong. That is unless it's deep tissue bruise in which case it's a lot harder to conceal what with all the limping and such. Great job coming up with that comparison.

Yet again it's thought's of Jim that are her source of comfort while thoughts of Roy are a source of irritation. There's a pattern there Pam, might want to think about it some more. It could turn out to be the proverbial ice pack that bruise of yours needs.

Nice job with all this. I applaud that you're sticking with it considering all the complexities of time travel you're facing here. Really well done. Also I caught that quick reference to Christophers as well. Please tell me Roy has balked every time Pam suggested they go there and thus it's a Jim and Pam only place. Please?

Author's Response:

I love being able to drop in little bits like that - as that little section came about it was immediately what I thought and I figured I knew others would too so why not lean into it.

I was pretty fascinated with a recent bruise that i not only had but had no idea where it came from - that little thought process became the bruise analogy and I'm glad you liked it.

You caught the Christopher's - don't worry just one more flaw of Roy's was he never took her there...so yes, only a Jim and Pam place.

Thanks as always for your review!

 

 

Reviewer: MrsKHalpert Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 28, 2021 12:52 pm Title: Chapter 12. Bruises and the Zombie Apocalypse

That didn’t take long! Great chapter and love the part about gaslighting herself. Bleugh Roy not being able to ‘perform’, he’s gotta go!!

Author's Response:

I've put way to much thought into the repercussions of time travel and what could go wrong but it is what is making writing this story a trip!
Yeah Roy - I agree he's gotta go - just Pam isn't quite there yet.

Thank you again for your review. 

 

 

Reviewer: MrsKHalpert Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 28, 2021 07:35 am Title: Chapter 11 - The Key

Really enjoying this and hope the next chapter will be up soon!!

Author's Response:

Your wish is my command. 

Just so happened to be ready to post today. 

Thanks so much again. I'm so glad you are enjoying it.

 

Reviewer: MrsKHalpert Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 28, 2021 07:07 am Title: Chapter 7 - 27 Seconds

So sorry this has taken me so long to get to, but it’s been worth the wait! This story is so awesome and very well done. This chapter in particular was great, I really loved what you did with the 27 seconds! Nice work!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much. This is the most difficult stories I've ever written so I really do appreciate the review and the jellybean.

Always glad to hear from readers whenever they find the time to do it.

Many thanks again. 

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 23, 2021 03:53 am Title: Chapter 11 - The Key

Ok, I’m very behind on this - but also very pleased that it meant I had several chapters to read! I’m continuing to just love this, it’s so much fun. The Pam and Michael scenes are a delight, I think I could just keep reading these even if there was no Jam (I also really like that time-travelling Michael’s main efforts on Booze Cruise were to stop what he caused: you’ve got the balance between him being completely infuriating and then his moments of sweetness, e.g. with Pam comforting him in the car, so perfect). I also love how well the inclusion of Randall works in this, and the fleshing out of his character (his wife giving Michael 3 strikes, and Pam later adopting that, is genius). Also: “Your best behavior, whatever you think that is, make it even better than that” is just the instruction Michael needs always.

But back to the Jam: Pam hearing Jim describing her as warm and funny is just exactly the moment from that conversation with Michael that I would’ve loved for her to hear, and I thought you wrote it so well with her only catching those couple of tidbits. I’m continuing to enjoy the slow build of her confusion / realisation about Jim, it feels very realistic - also lol at this being the point where Michael suddenly learns to keep a secret. Tell-a-Michael really made me chuckle. The reveal end of this chapter about Roy’s potential motivations from Janet is painful, as is the fact that Pam then tries to dismiss that because they’re getting married…again, it feels very realistic and in character, but just ouch. Come on Pam!

I for one am really glad that it’s all about the journey as it means more to read - can’t wait for the next chapter!

PS I also adored the little glimpse into Dwangela - “Monkey, looking forward to showing you who the real captain is” is just so grossly, brilliantly, Dwight.

Author's Response:

so glad you like the Pam/Micheal bits as this story is not just about the Jam relationship but about theirs too - and we'll be with them without Jim for a while (but not without thoughts of him - I promise)

Also glad you like how Randall is tied in (and his wife) - they have a bit more to come.

thanks for coming back - I do adore reviews and getting your thoughts. 

Happy holidays  

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: December 16, 2021 05:02 pm Title: Chapter 11 - The Key

*telegraph, telephone, tell-a-Michael.*

BRILLIANT.

So, now I have this idea in my head that I'll never be able to get rid of that every item of clothing in my house that mysteriously disappears is something my time traveling self has stolen. Thanks a lot for that, Max.

Really enjoyed this one. I like how your S2 Pam seems to flip back and forth between wanting Jim to have feelings for her and content that things are actually settled with Roy, or seem to be. It really highlights the confusion she must have been feeling in this timeframe.

Author's Response:

Everyone (and by that I mean my three reviewers) loved that line.

You have hit on something I've also thought about and will be ad-dressed in upcoming chapter starting with the next one -and more later.

Hope it doesn't get too annoying with her flip-flopping and her not being able to give up on her relationship with Roy- but I have lots to hit upon and Pam has to be 'blind" a little bit longer even though her eyesight is now corrected.

Thanks for the review as always.  

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: December 16, 2021 03:36 pm Title: Chapter 11 - The Key

"telegraph, telephone, tell-a-Michael." I lol'd.

You know what? I understand why it's frustrating Pam, but I think Michael deserves a little credit here. For once, he has actually learned from his mistakes and he is not digging the hole any deeper. I'm proud of him. Maybe time travel really is helping him grow?

"looked back at her husband who locked eyes with her in a silent communication that reminded Pam of the way she sometimes passed messages to Jim without ever saying a word." Ugh. OPEN YOUR EYES, PAM. Come on. You can't tell that's meaningful? *grumbles* But seriously - very true to them, and feels like something she'd be thinking about here.

That's actually kind of an interesting relationship test. Could you tell them you think you're stuck in a time warp? Would they believe you? And it's a good note working in Pam's canonical belief in ghosts here.

Oh, Michael. I half expected him to ask Pam for another drink of water here. Pam's lucky to have Gabby there - maybe between a surrogate Mom and a surrogate teacher they can get him to behave.

His point about the grill is kind of smart in a round-about way! Surely regular timeline Michael would notice that his grill was gone, it would be chaos. A whole episode on its own. Wondering if his note idea is going to end up having repercussions.

"only his birthing process was the trip through time and what he forgot was what a baby he himself had been that whole day." LOL. He really is a little boy in this chapter, in a very enjoyable way. I love his spy caper.

Ugh. Poor Pam. She really gets hope dangled right in front of her and then yanked away here. I'm always interested in her relationship with Roy's family, particularly post-Superfan episodes now that we know she's pretty comfortable with Roy's mom. Casts some of her decisions in a different light knowing how intertwined their lives were.

Author's Response:

I truly appreciate your enthusiasm for this story - so much.

That seems to be the line for this chapter - all three review mentioned it. Glad you liked it.

Michael tries to do the right thing, sometime however when he tries too hard that's when things go off the rails...not saying it's going to happen here but certainly what happened in a particular episode that had an Elvis impersonation.

Open your now with perfect vision eyes, but that's the fun of this whole experiment - to bring up all the things she hasn't been able to see.

A test yes, but there might be more to it than that and that's all I'm saying.

Hope you like Gabby, she's kind of the Beth of this story. Every story needs a good OC.

NOw I am a little behind in those superfans, in truth I half avoided if only to not uncanonize things I'd written for this... then I went and watched Booze cruise  and used a tiny bit of it (Ryan in bathroom). But I'm rectifying that now. JUst hope it doesn't bite me.

 

Thanks again for always leaving such detailed and enthusiastic reviews. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 16, 2021 10:58 am Title: Chapter 11 - The Key

Why won't they let Michael sleep on the couch? Seems like an important detail. Curious to be sure. Telegraph, telephone, tele-Michael. Loved that line because it's just so true. Michael just can't keep a secret. He wants so much to be in on something that when he is, he wants everyone else to be in on it too. I'll give it to him for childlike wonder even if it doesn't make the the best confidant.

More conflicting thoughts with Pam. She realizes that there are some key things wrong with her relationship with Roy. He wouldn't just simply believe her if she said something seemingly off the wall, doesn't seem to get her prank loving humor, and there are issues about how they'll raise any future children. Those are some big red flags to be sure. However she's also still caught up in setting the date bliss and that excitement seems to be covering up some of those reservations. Especially when she runs into extended Anderson family. But yet even then the cracks in the relationship are still there. The memory of slamming the box of cereal in Roy's face and wondering if he set the date just to keep getting a discount on rent.

It all paints a great picture of all the thoughts bouncing around in her head right then.

Author's Response:

Trying not to slack this time....

WOULD YOU LET Michael Sleep on your pristine white couch? 

That tele- line seemed to be everyone's fave. But like you said -so true. He tries though.

Yeah Pam's stuck in her own prison of having waited so long that now that it's here she can't "see" how wrong it is. But she's not yet ready - she's got a lot more to "see".  

Always love to read your reviews. You are great at "seeing" what I'm writing. 

Thanks as always. 

 

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed [Report This]
Date: December 01, 2021 08:47 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

*It was in that situation it was fortunate Michael’s mind was in so many ways like that of a child’s, in that the circular logic was enough to end the discussion, at least temporarily.*

Loved this.

The George Foreman grill! lmao

*It was enough to make her want to hug him, and so she reached over and wrapped her arms around him in a clasp full of emotion. Michael, first stiff with resentment, after seconds in Pam’s arms, released the firm hold of his limbs and leaned into her embrace. His head felt like lead as it dropped onto her shoulder, as if holding the weight of everything they’d been through and all that he’d done.*

This is so soft! Love how Pam is with Michael in this story, it all feels very IC. I'm enjoying this ride! Excited to see what's in store next!

Author's Response:

I love the Michael and Pam relationship almost as much as the Jim Pam relationship and I've maybe said it before but this story is as much about that relationship as it is about Pam/Roy/Jim.

Thanks for your words- always love to hear.

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 29, 2021 02:45 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

Thanks goodness for Randall! And bring on part III!

Author's Response:

Good old Randall !

 

You must be feeling a little like Pam with your knowledge of what's coming but just as for her - there are the little changes that occur -hope you are enjoying the new bits as you read again.

Thanks again for reading it then and now. 

Cheers 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2021 10:49 am Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

Thought you did well establishing Pam's disorientation here - and how it extends beyond just not knowing *where* she is.

Maybe it's having just spent the weekend with my nieces and nephew, but I found myself particular amused by Pam's parental exasperation with Michael here - how she tires of the constant whys and needs to be constantly warning him to be behave himself. Of course, he also has the childlike ability to accept this bizarre situation for what it is, so maybe he's not the worst possible partner for time travel. (Angela. Definitely Angela.) Wondering what Pam's corrected eyesight means going forward...

I honestly feel a little bad that Current Michael is getting yelled at for such an innocent mistake with the car here... I mean, *he's* not the one who ruined those folks' evening, that was... you know. Past him. And this reminder of Roy's less admirable tendencies right on the heels of all of this sounds like just the ticket for Pam.

Yikes. That's a bullet dodged with Angela. Not that she would've bought the time travel, but she definitely would've made a HUGE fuss about seeing Michael and Pam in whatever she assumes is a compromising position.

Of course, I'm also kind of with Michael in assuming that having a spare two weeks feels like a good time to do something he might not otherwise have time to do. If he's got to stay out of sight, why not learn a new language? I know it's pre-Duolingo, but I think he could make some progress.

Yikes. With great power comes great responsibility, and with knowing Michael Scott is time travelling means accept him as a houseguest. Poor Randall!

Author's Response:

Yeah well I feel like I wake up often that way, wondering how did I get here (ie - where did the time go) and I'm not a time traveler so I just pumped it up a notch for what Pam is going through.

Pam is kinda a surrogate mother to him even when they are not time traveling so this is just par for her course. 

As for the eyesight - it began as a way to simplify things as the contacts could have been a sticky thing to work in and when you can mess with logic and rules of the universe you are creating - well then why not? We will see if it has deeper meaning in the future (of this story).

Yeah I felt bad for Michael too which is why I had Pam hug him - aside from wanting to work in another near miss.

Ok - this is Michael we are talking about - you know how they say youth is wasted on the young - well time travel is wasted on the .. you know the rest.

Poor Randall - think of poor Gabby, his wife.

As always a big thank you for your review. 

 

 

 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2021 04:27 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

So now where do we go from here? No big internal debates other than where are they going to spend their time. I'm sure we'll get more of those as Future Pam has a lot to mull over based on the events of the evening.

Though I do wonder about something. Future Pam now has clear physical vision. I'm wondering if that clarity will translate to other areas of her life. Time will tell.

Author's Response:

Cleverly worded review...always fun to read what you have to say.

It's true our characters need to stay away for a few weeks and that means we won't be seeing Jim for a while but that doesn't mean we won't be thinking of him. Roy, too. 

Thanks for the review as always.

Reviewer: Little Toro Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2021 02:54 pm Title: Part II: Chapter 10. House Guests

My two favorite things, the office and harry potter! I am really enjoying this story. Thank you!

Author's Response:

Thank you for coming on the journey and sharing your review. It truly makes me happy to hear.

What always fascinated me about JK Rowling and her story besides all the fun magic and wild imagination was her ability to weave together things across 7 books and how things introduced had a way of coming back later.

Hope I do just a fraction of that. 

Thank you again for reading and reviewing. 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed [Report This]
Date: November 26, 2021 05:19 pm Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

This is a fun chapter with a rollercoaster of emotions to drive us mad (in a good way). At first, I wanted to scream "Where's Michael!" You built up the tension well.

"She’d been given a rewind button, a chance to hear the song that she hadn’t the first time, but because her own playlist was stuck on repeat, she missed it again." LOVE this and for obvious reasons

"Once more history gave her foresight" - clever!

I was so hoping she would overhear Jim's conversation with Michael but you were right, oh my God how frustrating! So great. :)

Author's Response:

 

Thought you'd like that note... told you those lines spoke to me in a different way.

As much as writing time travel is tricky, it does allow for some cleverness when describing the passage of time or events that have simultaneously happened and are yet to be. Hoping I don't overdo it. Hoping you will let me know if I do.

Glad you felt this was a good balance. Leave something for her to imagine and interpret and we know how she can always find a way to tell herself something other than what is clearly the story. 

Always so happy to get your reviews so thank you as always.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 16, 2021 09:31 am Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

"He’d told her to make sense of the future you had to revisit the past."

This is it. For me the key line for this chapter. Future Pam is still kind of running around not really knowing what to do. Her head says she wants to watch Roy have his big moment, but it feels like her heart is still pulling her another way. Not that she's ready or willing to really listen to her heart right now.

However it's Jim's words, not Roy's that resonate with her. Especially when she hears that his feelings are still very much in the "present," not a discarded crush. Very much a bit thing. Then of course due to habit and denial her hand goes to her ring. Almost as if that circle of gold isn't so much a promise for a better future, but a cage holding her heart from true joy. I mean the only times she seems to acknowledge it is when she's worried or upset and that worry triggers more anxiety. If her current ring is supposed to be a symbol of her feelings towards Roy, well it's actually fairly accurate. It's leaving her with feelings of uncertanty rather than comfort for what may come.

So now there's some time before Future Pam catches up with her own timeline. Really curious to see what's going to happen here. Past Pam will be off in the Poconos leaving Future Pam to do what exactly? Really looking forward to seeing where we go from here.

Author's Response:

YES- my whole intention in bringing it around from HP and Invisibility CLoaks to Jawas and Star Wars was so I could bring up prequels and get in that line.  

But also YEs, she's still got something in her eyes (and its not what you think) and it's too damn windy to hear her own heart. Good thing she'll be getting off the boat soon.  

I like how you call the ring a cage - good analogy.
I'm so excited to bring you Part II soon.

Thanks for always leaving such wonderfully detailed reviews.  

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed [Report This]
Date: November 14, 2021 11:59 pm Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

"It reminded her of the cockpit of an airplane, which she’d seen up close as child, back when it was a regular practice to visit the pilots in flight and be given a pin of metal wings." *sigh* I'm nostalgic for those days. No wonder Gen Z is angry all the time. It's a cute - and effective - metaphor for Pam losing her sense that the future is wide open as she grows up.

Oooof. Pam always has to learn her lessons the hard way, doesn't she? Her fear here yet again holds her back from getting what she really wanted. And you did well letting us feel her frustration - if she's not getting to see hre re-engagement, what the heck is all this FOR? (Patience, Pam - the purpose of the evening is coming if you're willing to see it.)

I kind of love having Ryan spotting the two Michaels - he's definitely not open-minded enough to believe in something magical or curious enough to investigate, and also it's more or less his worst nightmare.

Lovely grace note with Michael's humanity - and well placed, too. He really is a kind soul, buried well underneath at all and when his ego is no longer at risk. Just because he can't ADMIT it's his fault and that people got hurt, doesn't mean he doesn't know it is and want to change it. And as always, Pam being able to work with the childlike elements of Michael is sweet. I bet she makes Cece and Phil pink swear all the time.

Props to working in the reference to Jenna's Star Wars skepticism - and of course this is one of those rare things Dwight and Jim totally agree on. (They definitely have secretly watched AT LEAST one piece of geek culture together. Firefly maybe?)

Okay, GAME-CHANGER. So Pam is going to get the answers here she was denied at the end of The Secret, hearing at least some of it from the horse's mouth... and getting time to consider what it all means before having to respond. Very much looking forward to how all this plays out, and seeing the road forward in this story a little more clearly: much like the time-turner, they're going to keep having adventures right up until the moment they rejoin the present day!

P.S. I *may* have missed my shout-out but I'm gonna keep reading for it.

Author's Response:

Hey- it was just a shout out in the sense I wanted to acknowledge your support for this story and the help with weighing in on the lines - I don't think I slipped anything into the story. I'll try to in a future chapter if I can find a way that's organic. But I do appreciate your excitement for this story so wanted to let you know.

Pam's romantic problems are not all her problems, when we meet her in season 1 and get to know her more in season 2 she seems a little broken like she's lost her way - I wanted to bring that out too, in a subtle way. Remind the reader and her too - and you know I like my symbolism and circularity. Glad you are noticing these mentions.

Still not sure exactly how time travel works and i'm still making it up as I go along -taking all my movie references into account- but I'm having fun with all the ways having a second set of M and P affect the original timeline and well as the other way around, case in point, this one with Ryan.

To me Michael never means to be awful and with his childlike behavior has trouble taking blame ( I believe he was internally devastated in Scott's Tots) but something about Pam allows him to peel away some of that armor and get out what he truly feels. and Pam knows exactly how to deal with her first child even if he was not her *firstborn*. #MammaPam

Star Wars bit was more about getting in the lines about understanding the past/future with the knowledge of the other - but had secondary to it was the whole JF & Star Wars idea and the idea that Dwight and Jim also have a bond even if they too can't admit it.

I would have liked to have her come to her senses right there - but where would be the fun in that - and what would we do for two more weeks (and 16 or so more chapters?) 

As always  - big Thank you! 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 14, 2021 01:11 pm Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

Well that was a big ol' chunky chapter of goodness! Lots going on here, some great descriptions around Pam's fear of losing Michael, Ryan's "woah" moment, and that ongoing river in Africa we call denial. Great stuff, Lady!

Author's Response:

"Chunky" chapter comes later but you know that. LOL.

Hope you enjoyed all the new additions to this one since your last read - and the subtle little line that is a call forward to something in the later one you just got. 

Hope I messed up Ryan a little bit - he can use a little taking down a notch (although he really wasn't all that bad yet in the show.)

Thanks for taking time to read both then and now again.

 

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 14, 2021 08:59 am Title: Chapter 9 -The Brig

Ooh, interesting. So she knows for sure the "crush" is current. I do like that she has not actually heard the L word from his mouth, so she can still pretend this isn't as big a deal as it is. Still, I'm eager to see what she does with this information. Clever the way you had the wind cover up some of the more pertinent bits of that conversation.

*She wondered however, if they still gave out those wings? How she loved hers as a child. Not because she was so interested in aviation, but because the shiny memento somehow gave her a lift and the sense her future was wide open like the skies the planes soared through to get from one destination to the next.*

I love your idea of correlating these wings to something Pam wants that she could not go after out of fear.

Ryan seeing duplicate Michael made me laugh… he’s the perfect choice to see it and then immediately disregard it.

I like that you had Pam not liking Star Wars… perhaps because of Jenna? Haha. (Blasphemous to the both of them!)

*At the same time, she couldn’t help being washed over by a wave of disappointment, the same one she felt when in the same instance she both learned of Jim’s previous infatuation with her and that it had long since passed. That any romantic feelings he had for her were a momentary tick on the timeline of their relationship, a flash of heat that cooled before it could flourish beyond a friendship, because she was involved with someone else and Jim was not the kind of guy to pursue someone else’s girlfriend, much less fiancĂ©e.*

I really like this summation of what she must have been feeling when she first learned of his "crush." Really on point.

Another great chapter!

Author's Response:

Thanks TD - always excited to see what stood out for you ...

Yeah, hearing it this way while a little more impactful that when she heard it in the secret is nonetheless not quite hearing him say I'm in love with you and seeing him tear up - and yet even there, even after that kiss she still decides to stay with Roy so not so far-fetched that she would do the same here.

Ahh, but what she didn't have then was time - since he took right off for Stamford -and this story is all about time. 

I am hugely into symbolism - there was so much sprinkled in this chapter - you picked up on a lot of it - the wings. I guess your story was an influence here - with its focuses on 9/11.

The Star Wars (more about the lines about better understanding of future /past with knowledge of the other than Jenna connection but I will admit it was that as well.

She definitely was a little sad in the Secret when she found out - my take at least.

Thanks so much for your review on this one. So glad you are along for the trip. 

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed [Report This]
Date: November 13, 2021 06:06 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

“There was one voice she knew could shut hers up so she asked him to take a walk with her, but instead of a diversion, she got silence. Silence so loud, she had to return to the rowdiness of the crowds to stop hearing it.” —Ugh this part was so good.

I love how you had her focusing on spinning her ring on occasion. It ties in wonderfully with the underpinnings of the true reason she does it and the time turner in this story.

And of course it’s always humorous when she has to essentially babysit Michael and now he is an errant child. Great job!

Author's Response:

Thank you - thank you - thank you - you know how much I love reviews and hearing the parts you enjoyed.

This was one of my favorite lines too.

Lots of spinning in this story, lots of circularity and much more symbolism to come. 

I've said before this story will be so much more than Jim and Pam's - Michael's a big part throughout - among other reasons because he is is so fun to include.

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 08, 2021 12:14 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

Interesting getting in on Past Pam's thoughts. How she's surprised the Jim has barely told Katy anything about himself. How he has told her just about everything and did so quickly too. Why could that be Pam? Why would a guy be so quick to talk to you but not other women? Granted Past Pam is still a LONG way from figuring that out, but still it feels like one of those doubts that's causeing Future Pam to twirl her ring so much.

Speaking of Future Pam. Kinda feels like she's lost here. She has some information about how to go forward, but it's just dead end after dead end. The only way forward requires some courage to do somthing she normally wouldn't do. In what I would call typical early Pam fashion she does everything she can to avoid the hard choice that requires some more courage until there's just no other option.

20+ chapters and we're only on number 8? Wow, looks like there's still a long way to go till things get all straigtend out. I'm here for it though.

Author's Response:

Warrior - love these reviews - how you put together what Pam just can't figure out yet. And see the cause and effect of events in both timelines.

And as usual you are great at seeing the subtleties that were layered in to Pam's wandering - not just there to fill up the chapter.

Pam's been at this denial game for so long she's become quite the expert so it's going to take a lot to break the Imperius curse cast over her - a lot! Glad you are here for it.

Thanks so much for the review - really means so much to read them.  

 

Reviewer: tinydundie Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 07, 2021 07:41 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

I like a lot of your Pam inner monologue in this chapter, it's like she knows something is wrong with her life but isn't actively facing it. It's a lot easier to swallow this way than a Pam who seems actually happy. I really hope you are doing Past Pam's inner mono when Roy sets the date next chapter because I always wonder about that Pam.

*There was nothing exciting about a wedding that wasn’t being planned or a fiancĂ© who after asking her to marry him three years ago, seemed to have forgotten he had.*

Ouch. See, I would love to see her thought process going from this to the next phase.

*Solitude, it was a treasure for some, not always for Pam. There were times when the subtle voices in her head that formed questions about her choices got a little too loud when there weren’t others around to drown them out. *

This is so good. Ignore, deny, look the other way. Now that she's being forced to watch some of this stuff it'll be interesting to see how those things might change...

Author's Response:

Pam is pretty complex in these early seasons - I think she believes that she is truly happy and she even has moments of true happiness - but it's pretty apparent she really isn't satisfied with where she is at in love or life. I'm just trying to bring that out a little more.

This episode actually showed it well - she went from 'not getting Roy' to one of those pure joy moments; even if it was misplaced/false happiness I saw it as real.

That's what she's been doing for so long she's become an expert at it - so it's going to take a whole lot of being forced to confront it to break the spell.

Thanks as always for your wonderful reviews.

 

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 07, 2021 04:54 am Title: Chapter 8 - Questions

Lots of important set-up for future chapters (I've done some time travelling myself ;)) - lots of great writing!

Author's Response:

Well thank you - 

I hope you are enjoying all the new stuff layered in - as a time traveler you know how some of it plays in - but even have some surprises left for you.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing from both ends. 

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