Reviews For Fragmented
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Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 25, 2023 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 7

I'm very glad to see this side of Angela. She still steamrolls through everything which fits her. However she's also learned that holding this pain inside is only making things worse. It almost feels like she's testing the waters a bit here. Dwight did seriously hurt her in the past what with Sprinkles and all so she has reason to be very nervous. However she also wants this relationship to go the distance this time. So she opens up and to Dwight's credit he listens. He reassures in his own Dwightish way. So the waters are calm in her mind. Then I also love the bit of insight Dwight has. Don't take away Rachels choice to forgive by not allowing the choice in the first place. That I think really speaks to the logical and calculating bit of Angela's mind.

All in all this whole story, while very rough at times, was also a really good look into Angela's character. Thanks for posting it and bring it through to a landing.

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
(Fortune Favors the Bold)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for all your reviews. I really appreciate the effort you go to in providing feedback. It means a lot.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 19, 2023 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 6

So I kind of like the quick fast forward we get here. How it took her years to slowly realize what happened to her. That it wasn't all at once. What the pain of her past meant into her adulthood. What I also really liked is that when she finally allowed herself to open up to happiness with Dwight, she blossomed into the woman she was always meant to be. Yes a woman of strong principle and conviction, but one also capable of love and happiness as well. Great to see that.

Should really be interesting to see how the conversation with Dwight goes.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I was a little worried about doing a jump in time, but I didn’t think such a long-term trauma could realistically be resolved in one scene.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 16, 2023 07:39 am Title: Chapter 5

Huge scars still all over the place. She's still in her groomed state of mind, thinking that what happened with Mark was a good thing and what happened to him was her fault. Clearly that kind of trauma is hard to move past. Probably almost impossible for someone of her upbringing as well.

Then she's out on her own with little to no experience on how social cues and the like. Anything against her very black and white moral code is instantly and unforgivably wrong. One can tell where that hard judgmental exterior comes from. Feeling afraid all the time would make anyone lash out for sure.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you came out with the message I was trying to convey! Thanks for reviewing. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 17, 2022 03:43 pm Title: Chapter 4

Again I say, oof. What really stings is the level of control he had over her. That she would convince herself that what happened wasn't abuse or a crime but something good. Mark knew exactly the kind of girl Angela was here. Vulnerable and ready to believe anything. Likewise the fact he had the book of his victims. I mean such a scumbag.

Then for Angela to try and defend him and her about this. It's all just adds further tragedy to her story. Especially the way she goes off on her sister like that. Wow.

Author's Response:

It certainly is a lot to take in.

I was rewatching the episode where Angela says she hasn’t spoken to her sister in 16 years over an argument she doesn’t remember, and I just thought that seems really unlikely for people who used to be so close. So as soon as I devised the plot line with Mark I knew it was headed toward this major argument with Rachael. 

Thanks so much for reading and for your reviews. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 16, 2022 09:22 pm Title: Chapter 4

Well, this was frankly disturbing, and I mean that as a compliment. You did quite well exploring the impact of Pastor Mark's years of manipulation on Angela, how thoroughly he's laid the groundwork for this moment and how much he's abusing her trust. The fact that not even the revelation that he's been abusing other girls as well can shake Angela's illusions is powerful and awful and well executed.

Author's Response: I’m so glad you thought so. I was really worried about this chapter because it is obviously quite disturbing and I wanted Angela’s reactions to seem real. In the show Angela is often really hypocritical, so I wanted to explore how Mark’s manipulation might have resulted in her tendency to use mental gymnastics to justify her actions.

Reviewer: Once Signed [Report This]
Date: February 06, 2022 02:39 am Title: Chapter 1

Welcome to MTT. This truly fleshes out Angela's foundation to become the woman we see at Dunder Mifflin. Your writing is exquisite.
Good onya.

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 03, 2022 09:57 am Title: Chapter 3

Again, you're making those feelings of disgust come up. Pastor Mark using his position and influence too mold Angela like that just comes off so ugh. The thing is he knows exactly what he's doing. Taking advantage of a girl who clearly doesn't know any better.

All that being said, everything thus far paints a pretty clear picture of why the adult Angela acts the way she does. Why she's so uptight and judgmental. Why it takes her so long to truly come into any sort of happiness for herself. You're doing an amazing job of creating that backstory for her, even if it's not the prettiest. Brings in a lot of understanding to the character.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Obviously my goal with this work is to create a backstory that explains the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors Angela exhibits in the show, so that’s so wonderful to hear.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 03, 2022 09:49 am Title: Chapter 2

So Angela's father is pretty much the worst kind of slime there is. As a Christian myself I always find the kind of behavior he shows abhorrent. To twist the words of Scripture as he does goes against basically every teaching found within. Of course I also realize these are fictional characters, but sadly there are many real life people who act in exactly the same or worse ways. Credit to you for being able to write in an accurate way to bring out those feelings.

Also, I failed to mention in my last review, welcome to MTT! Always glad to have a new writer around here. Also props to you for a non-JAM story. Nice to get a few of those here as well.

Author's Response:

I’m so glad you found it accurate! It really is terrible when people twist the words of the Bible in order to control others, and I think Angela grew up with a lot of that going on.

Also, thanks for the warm welcome. This seems like such a lovely community.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 02, 2022 08:18 pm Title: Chapter 3

This is extremely difficult to read, in a way that I think suggests you're accomplishing your goals with it. You've set up well why Angela might be particularly vulnerable to this kind of abuse, especially from a figure in the church.

Author's Response: Thank you! I’m really trying to do this subject matter justice and, and I wanted the first two chapters to emphasize how lonely and starved for affection Angela is. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 02, 2022 08:13 pm Title: Chapter 2

This is just really brutal - and feels very much in line with the sort of religious trauma Angela shows signs of in the show. You can see how this would scar and impact her relationships down the line, especially if she's maintaining the idea that her father is basically an upright man.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 02, 2022 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 1

Happy to see this arrive here - as I mentioned, I really think there's a lot to be mined from taking Angela seriously, and you're very effectively telling a story about what might have produced her particular brand of rigidity, judgment and cruelty while still maintaining a loveable streak.

A hard read, but very well written. And congrats on posting your first story here - welcome to MTT.

Author's Response: Well thank you for helping me get it here! I really appreciate all your assistance.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 02, 2022 05:21 pm Title: Chapter 1

Oof that's a lot to take in. Really makes one feel for Angela in a new way if that's what she had to deal with growing up. Yeah, hard to say much more than that due to the very vivid picture you painted.

Author's Response: It definitely is a lot, but I’m so glad it was able to portray Angela in a new light. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

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