1 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2021 10:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is deeply sexy and also DEVASTATING. Really good look at how Jim's mind must have felt at this point in canon, even if this isn't inherently canon-compliant.
Date: February 01, 2007 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
I just realized that I didn't review on most of your fiction (since I noticed you started in on mine and it flattered me to no end), so here I am to offer my words of squeeage.
You love her voice. You know it’s stupid and there is so much about her that is better, like her hair and her smile and a million other things, but her voice is something you missed more than anything while you were away. The soft sound of it coming through in her laugh, the way you felt it vibrate through her back when you stood too near her (the way you always did, the way you always want to and always will). It is light and feminine and damn, you don’t know why but you love it and you missed it and it sounds so good in your ear...
There's something about this line that makes me happy, makes me feel like writing and trying to catch exactly what it is that you caught here. The depth of Jim and Pam and what they share is so evident in this, in how he worships the little things about her - how he loves details and Pam and it makes my heart hurt a little bit, just thinking about it.
You want to tell her that you love her but you’re not sure that the feeling hasn’t curdled or at least become something else.
Oh, and GODS, this line. THIS is the line that makes little baby Jesus weep. How you've captured Jim's emotions - because of course things aren't the same. Their love isn't pure anymore and you put it so eloquently I almost want to give up.
Seriously; this story makes me feel all sorts of things, all at once - it makes me happy, and sad, and wistful, and joyous, and so so green with envy.
Wonderful.
Author's Response: Ah! What a review! Thank you so much! I can't even think what to say because YOU responded so eloquently (see, I'm even stealing your words!). So glad you liked it -- believe me, that means a lot. :)
9 [Report This]Date: January 19, 2007 10:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
whoa! that's all I have to say, loved this ;)
Author's Response: Thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: January 18, 2007 03:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
aahhhhh!! that was so good! why do one-shots have to end? seriously, why? I loved the narration in this, like Jim's concscience was talking for him or something...it was great
Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the story.
Date: January 17, 2007 08:42 pm Title: Chapter 1
very well done! you stayed true to the characters, and even though it didn't end in light fluffy jam goodness, i still really enjoyed it.
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm sorry I couldn't end it with fluffy-happy-goodness, but I didn't really think that went very well with the tone of the rest of the piece. :P Maybe next time! Glad to hear you enjoyed it.
10 [Report This]Date: January 17, 2007 06:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
This story actually frustrates me because it's just so amazing that I know I won't be able to articulate how much or why in a single review...but I'll try.
First, you've nailed Jim's voice here, and it's got to be hard to capture him in first person. Second, the setting itself is really a brilliant concept - spatial symbolism at its best, as the cramped space sort of reflects the way their emotions have been slowly but surely closing in on them for months - years.
This is also incredibly erotic, too - his hand on her ankle before anything really happens, then the sudden sort of abandon as they let go for a second. I could really imagine it finally happening this way - in an impulsive, seemingly out of context moment. Because both of them at this point are so guarded that I'm not sure either would be willing to go out on a limb with a grand gesture (which is not to say we can't hope for it...)
This was one of those fics wherein it's really tough to isolate a favorite line/section - there are so many - but I settled on this: "There’s this chasm between you. It’s not Karen and it’s not Roy; it’s something like being too cautious for too long and all that lost, wasted time. It’s loneliness and wishful thinking and making the wrong decisions at the wrong times, and sometimes there’s this ache in your chest like a water balloon is slowly leaking, filling you and filling you until you’re not sure it’s possible to be any more full with this empty, hollow feeling. It’s like you’re expanding with nothing."
Incredible description, that. I've written 27 fics, some of them (okay, most of them quite long), and I've struggled in just about every one to capture in words what it must feel like for Jim. You've done it perfectly here - just perfectly.
Amazing piece of work - looking forward to reading more of your stuff!
Author's Response:
This is actually the longest and most in-depth review I have ever received, and I can't tell you how much it means that you were willing to take the time to be so thoughtful and thorough. It's such a huge compliment, too, to hear you thought I did Jim's voice well because that's something I struggle with. And! I absolutely agree with you about the eroticism of him touching her ankle -- it might not exactly be a sexual area, but it's still sensitive and it's still those two who are in the situation, and I think that really ups the tension. Thank you for choosing your favorite line -- I always like to hear which sentences were particularly pleasing to the readers. The line you chose was actually the one that got stuck in my head (in a much more vague form) and eventually created this whole piece, so good for you for choosing such an important line.
Again, thank you so, so much. What an amazing review!
Date: January 16, 2007 11:50 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh, boy. This left me feeling...panicky, I guess. Like I want to grab her or grab him and shake them until they stop hurting each other.
if anyone can ask, it’s always been her (who else really cared?). *sigh* The connection they have will always be there.
Author's Response:
You know, I think hurting each other is the only way they can get past all this (probably not the best way to do it, but it seems to be what they're doing). Even if nothing ever worked itself out, I think you're right -- they're always going to have this.
Thanks for the comment!
Date: January 16, 2007 07:13 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh gosh, much love for this story. The pacing and the POV all worked really, really well. And I love the parts about how they're really holding themselves back (not Karen and not Roy) and how even Jim's feelings have morphed (how could they not??) since he told Pam he loved her. The thoughts you gave Jim felt real and true to me--really great to read :)
Author's Response: Thank you! That's so nice to hear about the pacing because I generally feel like my writing goes too fast and doesn't allow time for tension to build. And definitely, I absolutely agree with you about Jim's morphing feelings -- of course, I think he still loves Pam but everything's a little changed and I think it's going to take them awhile to get back to what they had. Wow, rambling. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment!
Date: January 15, 2007 10:26 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oooh, ouch. This is lovely and killer. I especially love:
you know you don’t love Karen because what you feel for her isn’t what you felt for Pam, but whatever it is you feel for Pam now isn’t what it used to be either and how is that any better?
Nice work.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed the story!
Date: January 15, 2007 03:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
Angst!!
I love it. It's so hard with these two to just...TALK. Which is ironic, I guess.
But thanks for this (is there more?).
cheers.
--Lex
Author's Response: You're welcome! Thank you for reading and commenting! There is, unfortunately, no more to this, and I'm fairly sure there won't be. Glad to hear you enjoyed the story. :)
Date: January 15, 2007 11:48 am Title: Chapter 1
when did everything get so complicated?
And boy did things just get a whole lot more complicated! Dang! Nice work.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Date: January 15, 2007 10:25 am Title: Chapter 1
Another ripoff of Warning Labels? Haven't we already seen this "secret sex with a side of angst"?
Author's Response: I don't actually know what Warning Labels is, but I'm sorry to have offended you.
10 [Report This]Date: January 15, 2007 03:55 am Title: Chapter 1
I'm with everyone else on not being able to pick a specific line to quote because this was just too damned good. You did a great job with Jim's inner voice, almost humorous at times, yet not. Really, this is just beautifully written.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much. That really means a lot. :)
Date: January 14, 2007 11:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is very interesting! I'm intrigued by so much -- can't wait to read more of this!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: January 14, 2007 10:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
I loved this. I'm not going to quote lines, or I'll be here all day, but you've done such a great job conveying repressed emotions and the tension and the electricity of the situation. It felt hopeless and hopeful at the same time, which is exactly how it feels (for me) to watch them on the show. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Hopeful and hopeless... that is kind of the perfect way to describe them. Glad you enjoyed the story!
10 [Report This]Date: January 14, 2007 02:42 pm Title: Chapter 1
ABOSLUTELY beautiful. *sigh*
Author's Response: Aw, thank you!
Date: January 14, 2007 02:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is like a perfect little encapsulated moment (literally and figuratively) of longing and confusion and things being out of kilter between them. I like the way, for just a disconnected moment, they're able to express what they really feel, but it's so fragile that the second the real world (hello, Dwight) intrudes, the moment is gone. So sad, and evocative of the whole situation now. And fantastic last line. Loved this.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! What a wonderful review -- I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. Glad you enjoyed the story!
Date: January 14, 2007 12:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ah, this is so full of sexual tension, yet so sad. This especially got to me: You want to tell her that you love her but you’re not sure that the feeling hasn’t curdled or at least become something else – you know you don’t love Karen because what you feel for her isn’t what you felt for Pam, but whatever it is you feel for Pam now isn’t what it used to be either and how is that any better? It was an interesting read, and I think having it in the second person works well to up the tension.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked that line -- I had a bit of trouble with it initially so I'm happy you think it turned out well in the end. Also, this was my first time using second person narrative, so I'm relieved to hear you thought it worked well. You're just so helpful all around! Thanks so much for your comment and for reading.
Date: January 14, 2007 11:29 am Title: Chapter 1
This line was heartbreaking: "You want to tell her that you love her but you’re not sure that the feeling hasn’t curdled or at least become something else – you know you don’t love Karen because what you feel for her isn’t what you felt for Pam, but whatever it is you feel for Pam now isn’t what it used to be either and how is that any better" Such a beautifully sad story.
Author's Response: Agh, I love when people pick out quotes to tell me they liked -- it really helps tremendously, especially in cases like this where this is one of those lines I thought might be too much. So, erm, ergo... you are fabulous and thank you for your lovely comment! :)
Date: January 14, 2007 10:57 am Title: Chapter 1
oh, this is painfully delicious.... love your use of metaphor and the interior monologue.
Author's Response: Thank you! I work hard on my metaphors/description stuff, so I really appreciate that. :)
10 [Report This]Date: January 14, 2007 10:07 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I love the intensity of this, and the bittersweet feeling of this. So sad.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I think everything about Jim and Pam is bittersweet, so I'm glad that came through in the story. Glad you liked it. :)
Date: January 14, 2007 10:00 am Title: Chapter 1
I too, like your style. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Date: January 14, 2007 10:00 am Title: Chapter 1
wow. i'm sort of speechless. please continue!
Author's Response: Thank you! I think this one is going to stand alone, but I appreciate your enthusiasm (and your comment)! :)
Date: January 14, 2007 08:50 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh gosh, that's so great! I love it! I like the little intimate details that Jim notices about Pam. It's very touching :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I think Jim knows a lot more about Pam than everyone thinks he does, even when he's trying to get over her. He's just that kind of guy. <3
Date: January 14, 2007 08:39 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I have to say, I really am in love with your writing style. The whole time I was thinking "Oh, I should quote this line in my review, no this one, no this one!" Seriously, can't wait for more from you. I'll settle with the last line "You've never known yourself less." Fantastic.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate that because I always do the same thing with other great stories that I've read, so that's really flattering. Thanks again!