He hadn't been back long, but already he had broken her heart. There wasn't much for her to do, but sit at her desk playing solitaire and attempting to finish today's Sudoku puzzle. He distracted her though. The back of his head was strategically placed behind the screen of her computer she decided. She couldn't work with the constant distraction of his head right there.

Sometimes she thought if she stared long enough, he'd turn and she could smile at him. Maybe then he'd come over and they'd talk like they used to. Then, maybe he'd tell her he loved her again and everything would be okay. She'd tell him she loved him too, they could fall into each other's kiss again, they could get married, and she could have that house with the terrace and the flowers and-what the hell was she thinking? She shook her head at the thought and went back to placing the queen of hearts on the king of spades.

She knew Jim would never come over to her and tell her the things she so longed to hear. Things that, even when she was getting married, were wonderful to hear. She was a terrible person for saying no. She looked back at that night and kicked herself for pushing him away. If she had just let herself feel what she felt now. If she had just let him keep doing what he was doing. If she had let him keep kissing her like that. Where it would have led to she didn't know-no, she knew, but she should have let it all happen. There was a chance it wouldn't have gone anywhere past that kiss, but she couldn't stop thinking that something great could have been between them.

She looked up at him again and noticed he was in fact looking at her. "Hi."

"Hi." He smiled one of those melty kinds of Jim smiles. The kind that had always made her knees weak, even though she refused to admit it, even now when they were both free to do whatever (or whoever) they so chose. She smiled back, but it seemed fake. She knew he knew it was. She knew he knew there was something wrong, especially when his smile dropped and he got up from his desk.

He leaned over the counter to look down at her screen. "The five of diamonds can go up."

She looked down at the screen and then back at him. "I know. I was saving that."

"Ha ha, very funny." He smiled again and she was nervous again.

What the hell was wrong with her? She was never this way. Jim Halpert never-NEVER- made her nervous, but now with him so close she could feel her heart flutter slightly. Maybe she had lost her mind like she lost her Sudoku puzzle the day before as she watched Jim replace Dwight's sharpened pencils with brand new, non-sharpened ones.

It had taken him all day to switch out each pencil every time Dwight left his desk, but the result was well worth the effort. Dwight did his classic "Damnit Jim!" and Jim denied knowledge of what happened. It was all perfectly normal-except for the fact that she was too preoccupied watching Jim to notice the pair of eyes watching her all day (every day).

Not that she would have cared that Michael sat in his office watching the receptionist watch Halpert all day, but the fact that he was scheming in his office about the whole ordeal, that's what would have made her worry (had she been paying attention to anything going on around her).

Michael Scott was not one to leave things alone, even when he (and EVERYONE else) new something should be. He had watched Jim and Pam a lot more closely ever since Jim had confessed his feeling to his boss. Though Michael had never noticed the spark between the two before, he noticed it now. He knew that he had to so something to help the two of them get together. It would be the nice thing to do, besides, then there'd be something to argue with Toby about and he'd have something else to occupy his time other than the mountains of paperwork he was technically supposed to be reviewing and signing.

Michael's plan would have to wait, though. The day was well past over and with someone (everyone knew it was Jan) waiting for him at his condo, he wasn't going to stick around to help those two with their romantic issues. Maybe a quick push would be good. He grabbed his things and left his office, crossing to Pam's desk. Jim still stood there and Michael knew it was the perfect opportunity.

"Pam-a-lama-ding-Jim. Let me tell you, this is one pretty picture." He received strange looks from the two as if they were questioning what he could be up to now. "You two dating yet?" Again looks shot his way-shocked and annoyed, embarrassed and awkward looks, but looks none the less. "Well, just don't go at it on company time." And with that he left. Just left. Turned on his heels and left the two shell-shocked and alone in the office.

"That was weird."

"You think?" Jim turned and sat back at his desk. There wasn't anything he's like to do more than to "go at it" as Michael had so eloquently put it, but he couldn't see Pam feeling the same way. There was no way she was interested in him like that. Still, even after breaking it off with Roy, he couldn't imagine she thought of him that way.

"You staying for a while?"

He heard her small voice behind him. It was quieter than usual. As if she were scared someone would overhear her speaking to him, even though no one was there. "Yeah, I kind of want to get this done before tomorrow."

"Okay." Again quiet. She stood and turned off her computer monitor before grabbing her coat and purse. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yup."

She looked at him sitting at his desk once more before she left the office. It took all of her strength to push the elevator call button. She kept replaying Michael's words in her mind (which is scarier than Freddy Kruger invading your dreams). She couldn't stop thinking that someone had noticed they looked cute together. Even though it was only Michael Scott, she was happy someone thought they belonged together. His approached sucked, but that was Michael. Like Ricky Bobby, Michael was not a thinker. Michael Scott was not a driver; however, he was a meddler. She knew this wouldn't be good.

When she finally reached her car it had begun to snow. She stood for a moment letting the flakes hit her face and outstretched palm. She unlocked her car and got in, closing the door quickly. She needed to think. Just go home and think. And then maybe cry herself to sleep. This new Pam Beesly was weak and she hated it. Ever since Jim came back she was acting foolish. She would sit in her car for ten minutes before starting it just to think of the last minutes she spent with him. She'd go home and check her messages as if she were waiting for his call. She'd cry herself to sleep for the shear fact that she was to scared to go up to him and tell him she was sorry for pushing him away and she loved him like he loved her-or had loved her.

She went to start her car and realized she wasn't going anywhere when it refused to turn over. "Shit!" she said, hitting the steering wheel with her palms. Pam wasn't one to swear, but today had been one of those days where it was appropriate. She wanted to go home. She couldn't take being there anymore. Everything about Dunder-Mifflin reminded her of him. When he was there-when he wasn't-it all reminder her of him. She looked over at the spot they had stood in months before. The spot that she had most likely ruined his life in and she cried. "Damn-it!" She hit the steering wheel again and leaned back into her seat. She was more angry than really upset. She wanted the feelings to go away.

But then he appeared. She knew it was him before he even got all the way outside. It was dark out, but she knew it was him by the way he exited the building. His long strides brought him towards her car faster than she would have liked, considering the situation. He didn't approach her car, but his instead-maybe he hadn't seen her still parked there. She needed to go home. There wasn't any other choice.

"Jim!" she yelled as she opened her car door.

He turned quickly, of course. She could tell he was surprised by the abruptness of his movement, but he smiled the melty Jim smile and took a step towards her. "You stalking me Beesly? Cause, if you are, you kinda suck at it."

"My car won't start." It had started to snow harder in the few minutes since she had left the building. The flakes clung to his hair and his cheeks were becoming rosy from the cold winter air. They moved closer to one another, there in the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot (the parking lot of doom), like they had been months ago. Only, this time, they were both smiling. She was shivering, but she didn't notice until he reached his big gloved hands out to rub her upper arms. "Could you give me a ride home?"

"Of course. Come on; let's get out of the cold."

He opened the car door for her and waited till she was completely settled before he closed it again. She swore she saw a smile grace his lips as he rounded the car and got in. He threw his messenger bag in the back seat and smiled at her as he did so. That smile made her melt into a pool on the passenger side floorboard.

They didn't speak during the short ride to her apartment. All except for the quiet "right here" and "left up there". She didn't dare say much more since Jim's knuckles were already white on the steering wheel. He obviously hadn't expected the roads to be as bad as they seemed and she worried that her words would distract him too much.

When they finally pulled up in front of her apartment building, Jim leaned back and sighed. "Well, I think you owe me after that one Beesly."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think the roads would be so bad. Um-" she paused, waiting to see if he was planning on speaking or not. When she realized he wasn't going to, she continued, "You what to come up for a cup of coffee?"

His face seemed to light up when he looked over at her. "That would be great."

Distraction
def'n: Jim Halpert

After taking a moment fumbling with her keys, Pam unlocked the front door to her apartment building. She stepped inside, waiting for Jim, who was grabbing something out of the back seat of his car. She tensed as he slipped on the walkway, but he regained his footing quickly before falling into the snow. She pushed open the door for him and giggled at his look of relief.

She must have been nervous to have Jim in her new "this is all part of my single life" apartment because she fumbled with her keys again at her door. Attributing it to cold hand, she hoped he didn't think twice about it. The new Pam Beesly was also a klutz and bundle of nerves around him.

After shutting the door, she turned to see Jim's hand outstretched to help her with her coat. She loved this part of Jim-maybe more than any other part (so far)-the sensitive side. He hung up their coats as she shook the snow from her hair. "I'm gonna run and change real quick if that's okay."

"That's fine."

"Um, make yourself at home," she said over her shoulder as she disappeared into what Jim could only guess was her bedroom. He watched her for a moment, but when she started to lift her sweater over her head, he turned his head away quickly.

He sat down on the couch, taking in his surroundings. He had only ever been to Pam's once before, but that was long before he told her how he felt, and long before she broke things off with Roy. This place was different from her place with Roy. He could only imagine her in there on a day off, the sun shining in the big windows at the end of the lining room and in the dining area. He noticed she had an easel sitting by one of the windows, covered in a white sheet. He got up to look at some of her art, but before he could lift the sheet on the easel, he heard her reenter the room.

"So, how do you like your coffee?"

He turned to see her in the kitchen. She was wearing pink sweatpants, a light pink camisole, and a zip-up sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back into a scrunchie, but a few strands fell into her face. He couldn't help but think that she looked pretty that way. She seemed so natural like that.

She was lifting the teapot he gave her for Christmas off the stove, filling it with water. "Hmm?"

"Oh, uh, black is fine." He loosened his tie and sat back down on the couch. He could get used to this. No. He had to stop thinking about stuff like that. They were friends and he should be happy with that. He had to stop thinking about her like he could just tell her he loved her and she would tell him that back-didn't work last time. "Nice teapot," he commented after a moment to cover the awkward silence. "Someone obviously had really good taste."

Pam lifted the teapot and looked it over, wrinkling her nose. "Nah. I just keep use it since I don't have a nicer one."

"Ouch. That hurts Beesly, that hurts."

She pouted at him. "Oh, you know I love this teapot," she said, stopping to trace a finger over the spout. "Just like the person who gave it to me." A shocked look crossed her face as she turned quickly from him. She had just said that. It just slipped out. She really hadn't meant to say that-sure she was thinking it, but letting it slip was another thing.

"Really?"

She could hear the apprehension and slight intrigue in his voice. She barely whispered "Fuck" before awkwardly answering, "Yeah, Dwight has really grown on me." She tried to blow it off, reminding him of the trade she had made to get the teapot back, but she knew it wouldn't be that easy. After taking a long, deep breath, she turned with the coffee cups and headed towards Jim.

He sat there quietly, looking her way, obviously attempting to not show emotion. It couldn't be easy since he gulped when she sat down next to him. "Thanks." He sounded like he was going through puberty again. The cracks in his voice made her more nervous.

She tried to sip her coffee without looking at him. This was Jim. Her best friend. Why this was so difficult so couldn't figure. When she finally did look over at him, he smiled over the rim of his coffee cup. That smile made her body relax and her mind drift to thoughts that would initiate another sexual harassment seminar from Toby. She simply smiled back, lowering the cup to her lap. He followed her movements.

"So, how are things?"

"Fine," he answered, almost laughing at how awkward things were getting. "You?"

"Oh, things are things." There was an awkward silence where Jim lifted his cup to his lips again. "You and Karen okay?"

He spit the coffee back into the cup out of pure instinct as he knew it was that or her white rug. "Um, we broke up." He couldn't look at her, but he could tell she wasn't looking at him either.

"Oh." That was it. She just needed the confirmation. Now she had it.

"Um," he said as he shifted to the edge of his seat. "I think I'm gonna head home. Need to get some stuff done before I hit the sack."

She eagerly got up and followed him to the door-too eagerly. He picked his bag up off the floor after putting his wet jacket back on. He turned to open the door, but kept his eyes on Pam-well, his peripheral vision on her. After opening the door and stepping out into the hall, he turned fully to say goodbye to her. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Thanks for the ride."

"No problem Beesly." He turned to leave, but her words stopped him.

"You remember that time you told me I had to ‘take a chance on something sometime'?"

He turned back to face her. She had taken a step towards him, now standing so close he could make out each freckle on her face. There were many and he began to realize he loved those freckles. They were close like in the parking lot of Dunder-Mifflin when she broke his heart the first time. "Yeah. When you were thinking about that internship."

She nodded. "Well, I've been thinking a lot about that lately."

"The internship? That's great. Is it still available-"

"No," she stopped him, putting her hand on his arm. "Not that. Just-taking chances in general."

"Oh."

She looked to the floor behind him, afraid if she looked at him she wouldn't be able to get the words out. "Yeah, well, I was thinking, you've taken a lot of chances and I never do. So, now it's time I take one. You told me you loved me."

He got quiet and looked away from her as he always did when she started talking bout things that unnerved him. "Pam-"

"No, let me do this. I didn't tell you I loved because I was scared, which is the worst excuse, I know, but it's the truth. When you told me, I got scared because the feelings I had for you were, well, they were there. I didn't know what to do. I messed up."

"Pam-"

"No." She looked up at him finally. "This is coming out a hell of a lot better than I thought it would. Please let me finish." Here it was, out on the line. She decided there was no time like the present to bear it all, "I love you, Jim. I think I always have and I would completely understand if you didn't love me anymore, but I needed you to know that I did feel that way about you. That I feel that way about you." She looked back down, embarrassed.

Before she knew it, her chin was being lifted and she was being kissed. Kissed by the man in the hall she had just confessed her deepest feelings to. Her hands found their way behind his head as his arms wrapped around her. There was no desk to lean against, so she leaned into him to keep from falling backwards.

They pulled back, panting and smiling at one another. Pam and Jim going at it in the hallway of her apartment building, not something she saw happening in her near future. Her neighbor had seen it, however, and made her presence known by clearing her throat. Pam glanced around Jim's shoulder and-after a rather dirty look-pulled Jim into her apartment by the lapels of his coat. She continued to lead him until he shut the door and dropped his bag. She pushed his coat off his shoulders and dropped it on the floor behind them.

He dropped his forehead down to rest it on hers. "Pam."

"Hmm?" She looked into his eyes and could see something in them that was new. A sparkle? Yes. Jim's eyes had a sparkle in them.

Instead of speaking, he leaned in and kissed her again. She was up on her tiptoes and he still had to lean down to her. His arms were wrapped around her while her fingers played with the hair near the nape of his neck. She sighed into his lips, making him more content in his actions. He pulled away again. "What are we doing Beesly?"

She laughed, "Of all people, Jim, I would think you would recognize ‘making out' when you saw it." She had pulled back just enough to make air quotes at him.

"First off, this isn't making out, yet. Second, I can't see us. And third, I can't believe you just made air quotes at me."

She took his hand and led him to the couch. Sitting next to him, she ran her had along his jaw. He took her face in his hands and began kissing her again. She grabbed his neck and leaned back, pulling him with her. Her head lay back on the arm of the couch and she refused to let Jim go. He wasn't protesting, however.

They stayed that way for hours-kissing and laughing. A few pieces of clothing found their way to the floor, but not many. They simply "made out" as Pam had put it-for three and a half hours straight mind you-before curling into one another on the couch. Jim lay against the back of the couch, head on the arm. Pam lay half on top of him, cheek on his chest, facing so she could look up into his smiling face. She never wanted to move from that spot, ever. As she drifted off to sleep, she couldn't help but think Jim gave some of the best advice ever.

"Don't think sleep will get you out of talking to me, Beesly."

"What if I'm sleeping with you?"

"Well now, that's an entirely different story." He wrapped his arm around her and snuggled into her soft hair. That was a story he liked very much.

def'n: telling someone you love them in the hallway of your apartment building and then making out with them on the couch like a couple of teenagers.

The sun filtered in through the French doors that opened to the large second floor terrace. Fragrant flowers lined the rail and filled terra cotta pots. Pam sighed heavily, taking in the view. She felt two strong arms wrap around her pulling her back into a warm body. She looked up to see Jim holding her tight, smiling down at her with a stubbly grin. He kissed her on the cheek and continued smiling.

A small voice came from behind them, "Mommy? Daddy?"

They turned to see a little girl with big reddish-brown curls standing in the doorway to their bedroom, holding a big brown teddy bear...

A deep sigh woke Pam from her dream. She still lay on top of Jim, her arm resting on his chest. He was staring at the ceiling, arm still wrapped around her. His thumb was rubbing small circles on her back and it caused her to sigh. He turned his face down to her at the sound.

"Morning." His voice was raspier than she had ever heard it before.

"Hi." She reached her hand up to rub the stubble on his face.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He sighed again as he turned his head to look at the clock she had hanging on the wall. "Ugh, is that clock right?"

She turned her head to look at it, even though she knew the answer. "Mmhmm." Three and a half hours wasn't enough sleep for her and she would have had no problem staying on the couch like that all day. She pushed herself up to look him in the face, smiling gently. "So, you wanted to talk about something?"

"Hmmm. Couldn't imagine what." He smiled at her again before closing his eyes and groaning. "We have to go work."

She buried her face in his chest before whining, "Nooo."

"The truth is harsh, Beesly."

"I just wanna stay here forever." She looked back up at him and smiled when she saw he was smiling down at her.

"Me too." He kissed her forehead, "Me, too."

When they finally pried themselves from the warmth of the couch, Jim showered and Pam tidied up and went to make breakfast. She had thrown Jim's jacket, dress shirt, and tie over the back of the chair so she could iron them for him-yes, iron Jim's clothes. Her sweatshirt was back on and after finding her scrunchie thrown into the kitchen, she began rummaging around the fridge and cabinets.

She smiled when she heard the shower running. The thought of Jim Halpert in her shower was something she's sure a famous poet could relate to a beautiful summer day or something. She tried her best to behave and not imagine Jim naked in her shower, but in trying, she couldn't get her mind off of it. "I'm going to be distracted all day," she said to no one in particular.

She gave up on finding something to make for breakfast and leaned against the counter to wait for Jim. When the water was shut off, she gave ample time for him to be decent before she started making her way to her bedroom. She called in from the outer door first, but upon receiving no answer, she ventured in to see where he was.

"Jim?" She peeked around the corner, but saw nothing.

When she turned around, however, what she saw would distract her for a month. There was Jim, in only a towel, looking at the pictures she had sitting on a shelf near her bedroom window. Immediately redirecting her gaze to the floor, she could feel her face flush. "Hey."

He turned to look at her, smiling at her nerves. "Well, Beesly, didn't get enough already?" He couldn't help but laugh as the words left his mouth.

Pam's hand found her forehead as she turned a brighter hue. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I'm just gonna go back out there and say the rosary or something." She turned to leave, but stopped as his laugh got deeper-and closer. She turned back around and looked up at him, attempting to avoid looking at his bare chest. "Hi."

"Are you turning into Angela here?"

"No, why?"

He laughed and put his arms around her, pulling her close to him. She could smell his aftershave-how can that be?-mixed with the smell of her soap. She could get used to that smell. She decided the best thing to do was change the subject from the obvious sexual tension in the room. "So, are you going to get ready so we can get to work or what?"

He smiled and nodded. "I believe I should do that." He didn't move, however. Instead he leaned down and kissed her lips gently. He couldn't help but smile when she sighed against him.

She reached her arms up and laid one hand on his chest while she placed the other behind his neck, pulling him into her. She smiled against his lips as his hands moved from her waist up to her back, holding her close to him. The sound of the phone caused them both to jump, moving from each others' arms. After a deep sigh of regret, she turned and made her way to the phone, leaving Jim to finish getting ready for work.

"Hello?" She stood against the counter, hoping it was a wrong number.

"Pam?"

The voice on the other end of the line made Pam stand up straight. "Karen?"

"Yeah, hey, I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"No, what's wrong?" Pam could tell she had been crying. She knew it was probably about Jim.

"Well," she sniffled, "Jim and I broke up a couple days ago and that's why I wasn't at work yesterday."

"Mmhmm." Pam remembered that Karen had called in sick the day before.

"Well, I talked to Jan and I'm going to be leaving Scranton. Immediately. I just really don't want to be there anymore, you know?"

"Yeah."

"So, I was hoping you could do me a favor. Could you pack up my stuff and bring it by after work?"

"Me?" Pam was shocked at the request. She was fully expecting the favor to be meeting in the parking lot so Karen could beat the shit out of her.

"Yeah. We are friends, right?"

"Oh course." Pam saw Jim emerge from the bedroom buttoning up his dress shirt. He had obviously had a change of clothes in his car since the suit pants he had on were definitely not the same ones he had one the day before. He gave her a questioning look as to the caller and she responded the best way she could think of. "Hey, Karen, I have to go get ready for work, but I'll see you later okay? I'll call before I leave work."

"Okay, thanks Pam."

"Bye Karen." She hung up the phone and looked at Jim who was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. She let out the breath she had been holding, breaking the awkward silence that had encompassed the room. "That was weird."

"What'd she want?"

"She wants me to pick up her stuff from work and bring it to her. She's leaving Scranton."

"Wow."

"Yeah." She walked past him and entered her bedroom without another word.

When she returned from her room, Jim was lounging on the couch, remote in hand. He had been flipping through the channels looking for something to take his mind off the fact that Karen had called Pam that morning. As if the whole situation he was in wasn't weird enough, Karen had to add fuel to the fire. He looked up at her when she reached the side of the couch. She had on a grey skirt and her pick button up shirt. He remembered she wore that shirt the day of Casino Night. He liked that shirt.

She finished putting in her earring as she sat on the arm of the couch next to him. "Anything interesting on?"

"Not really." He looked back down to the TV. "Britney Spears shaved her head."

"Ah," she said with mock interest. "Kelly with definitely be talking about that today."

Jim let out a gentle laugh before laying a hand on her thigh. "True, but you'll miss out if we don't get going."

She clasped her hands together and acted shock, "Oh, no! That would just ruin my whole day." She smiled down at him, noticing the tension in the room diminish.

They both got up and made their way to the door, kissing once more before Jim opened the door for her. They walked downstairs together, got in his car, and made their way to Dunder-Mifflin. It was going to be a long, awkward day.

Awkward
def'n: that entire morning

The car ride was silent. Jim's hand never left Pam's lap where she rubbed small circles on his palm with her thumb. She didn't even have to look at him to know he was smiling. When they pulled into the parking lot of Dunder-Mifflin, however, she let go of his hand and sighed. "I'm going to hate not being close to you today."

He laughed slightly as he placed the car in park. He looked around the parking lot quickly and leaned over to kiss her. His thumb rubbed against her temple as her hand rested lightly on his thigh. This action on her part received a slight groan from him. She smiled into his lips and pulled back, leaving her hand in place.

He lifted her hand into his and pressed his lips to the back of it gently. "You ready?"

"No."

He laughed, thinking she was kidding until her faced dropped. "What?"

"It's just, what are we going to tell people? You know we're going to have to fill out the interoffice relations form with Toby, and Kelly's gonna freak, and-"

"Pam. We don't have to say anything. We'll keep it from Toby for now."

"Really?"

"Hey, I'm Assistant Regional Manager, missy. No worries." He kissed her cheek before they both got out of the car.

They walked up to the building with a comfortable space between them. As they waited for the elevator, they talked about the upcoming Dundies award night. When the doors shut, however, Jim's lips were on hers quickly. She pushed him off of her, giggling. "Jim."

"What?"

"We are at work. We can't do that."

"Fine, ruin my day before it starts." He stuck his hands in his pockets, frowned, and faced the doors. Just before the doors opened, two words made him smile again.

"Love you."

They got off the elevator and made their way to the office door, taking a breath in unison before entering. Pam started to fake laugh and nodded for Jim to play along with her. "I cannot believe they said that."

"I know. I was like, ‘What do you mean you can't pick up my car?'"

"They actually said you had to bring your car to them?"

"Yes."

He hung up his coat and took hers to do the same. "Did you explain to them that it won't start?"

"Um, yeah." They both laughed again as Jim put his things down at his desk. "I'm most definitely calling another garage."

"I would. If you need me to take you to pick it up later, let me know."

"I will." She sat down at her desk and busied herself, her smile never falling.

Their decision not to tell anyone about their new "relationship" was actually making the day go by a lot faster. At least until lunch. He leaned on her desk, reaching for a jelly bean. "So, I didn't get time to pack a lunch since you so rudely needed a ride this morning. So, I was wondering if you wanted to go get something."

"Um," she looked up at him from her Sudoku puzzle, "Sure."

They made their way to the parking lot quickly. Once in the car, he reached for her hand and kissed it gently. "Man, I am so glad to get out of there."

"Me too," she sighed.

They went to Cuginos. It was their second lunch date there, but this one was more relaxed, more intimate. They laughed over their Cokes, grinned over their meal, and flirted over dessert. Pam held his arm as he paid, he held her coat as she used the ladies room, and they held each others hand as they walked to the car. Neither could deny it was the perfect date. Though it was technically, their third date, they both counted it as their first.

Once they got back to the office, the day dragged by. They barely spoke the rest of the day, both thinking of the evening they would spend together. Their thoughts were interrupted, however, when Michael came out of his office to make an announcement.

"Okay everyone. Thanks to Toby in HR, we all have to have a meeting about interoffice relations."

"Actually, Michael, it's because of you." Toby's exhausted voice slid through the murmurs.

"Yeah, whatever. Just shut up Toby. No one asked you."

"Actually, Jan asked me to have this quick meeting about the importance of informing HR on changes in relationship status if it is one between two employees-"

"Yeah, fine. Everyone in the conference room in ten minutes." Michael turned on his heels and returned to his office, leaving Toby standing facing Pam. She shrugged and went back to her puzzle. She hadn't even looked at Jim, even though she knew he was looking at her through the entire ordeal.

They sat in the side chairs as usual, but they were careful to sit far enough away as to not look suspicious. What they didn't realize was how suspicious they made themselves look. Michael had said a few words about how he thought the whole point of the meeting was stupid and that it was totally not necessary, but Toby assured him it was.

"I received a phone call from Jan at corporate this morning informing me that as a HR representative, it is my duty to remind you of some of the requirements involving interoffice relations. We do require some forms to be filled out when beginning or ending a relationship with someone who also works with Dunder-Mifflin. I want to assure you that it is confidential and the only people who will know are me and a couple people at corporate."

There were a few murmurs and exchanged glances.

"You can come see me after the meeting or send me an e-mail if you have any questions."

Everyone was filing out of the conference room-Michael was the first to leave-as Jim made his way up to Toby.

"Hey, did you get-" he didn't have to finish. Toby pulled out a piece of paper and slid it on the table in front of Jim. "Thanks."

"Karen faxed them over this morning with her transfer papers. I'm sorry about all of it."

"Well, it can't always work out," he responded as he signed the forms.

"No, no it can't." Toby sounded sad. Not that he didn't always sound sad, but this time especially.

At the reception desk, Pam couldn't get the thoughts of the night before out of her mind. Even though she knew they were keeping their new relationship a secret she wished she could have stood up in the meeting and announced it. She thought of his lips and his hands on her. His soft lips and large, strong hands. Her eyes wandered from her computer to Jim, who was still standing in the doorway to the conference room with Toby.

She remembered the way he looked in her apartment that morning. The way he looked on her couch. The way he stood in her bedroom. The way his smell mixed so well with hers. She was thinking about the way his breath felt on her neck as he kissed her the night before when she heard it.

"Oh my God, Pam! Did you hear?" Kelly's voice echoed off the walls of the office as she leaned against Pam's desk.

"Hmm?" Pam still hadn't completely snapped out of her daydream.

"Well, Jim of course. Oh my God, this is so great-well, for you I guess. Not for Karen. It kind of sucks for her I guess."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jim and Karen broke up. Didn't you hear?"

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, and Pam, oh this is so totally great for you. I bet Jim is totally interested in you. I bet he's gonna ask you out. I mean, you look so cute. Even hot. Seriously, you look so great today, it's unbelievable."

"Thanks?" Pam sat awkwardly in her chair, trying to see Jim behind Kelly-without it being obvious.

"No, really Pam. You should seriously dress like that more often."

Pam looked down at herself, "Um, Kelly, I wear this kind of thing all the time."

"Well, there's something different about you today. You look so pretty and you should totally talk to Jim. And maybe you should flirt a little."

"I'm not doing that Kelly."

"Okay, fine. So, do you want me to set you up with that friend of Ryan's? He's so cute and he's really funny and I think you would so get along with him so well."

Kelly hadn't seen Jim return to is desk during her short tirade, but Pam had. The look in his eyes alone made her choose her next words carefully. "Well, Kelly, it's really nice of you to offer, but I'm kind of seeing someone."

"Oh my God! No way Pam! Is he like totally hot and funny and a good kisser?"

"Um-"

"Oh, you're not back with Roy, are you?" Kelly's voice was overly loud and several people were glancing in their direction.

"Definitely not," she spat out. "It's not Roy. And yes, he's hot and funny and an amazing kisser," she breathed out the last words, thinking back to the night before. She glanced at Jim who smiled coyly at her.

"Wow, Pam. That is so great. Like who is he and stuff?"

"He's a friend. We got to talking lately, and things progressed." She was getting more and more uncomfortable talking about Jim that way to Kelly. It felt wrong somehow, talking about him without actually being able to talk about him.

"Wow Pam, just, wow."

"I know." Pam looked up to see a creepy smile cover Kelly's face. She could tell Kelly was plotting something crazy. "What?"

Kelly leaned over the desk to whisper to Pam, "Are you like, trying to make Jim jealous?"

Jim's head popped up from his computer at Kelly's comment.

"No. I'm just saying that-" Pam was cut off by the phone ringing. She just smiled and shrugged at Kelly who turned and walked back towards the annex, throwing a smile to Jim on her way. "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam."

When she hung up the phone, she leaned forward and cleared her throat gently. It was enough of a sound, however, to make Jim turn around. He gave her a look before getting up and taking his place at her counter. "Yes, Miss Beesly, you rang?"

"Can you take me to get my car?"

"Um..." He glanced at his desk before looking back at her. "You know, I'm totally busy. Maybe you could ask your new wonderfully amazing boyfriend."

She glanced around with her eyes before leaning towards him and whispering, "I am."

"Oh. In that case, maybe I'll have to take you to get your car. I wouldn't want you stuck here all night."

She raised her voice slightly, "That would be a travesty. If you left me here, I'd have to call my boyfriend and we'd probably end up making out on your desk. And then maybe in the conference room, the break room, the kitchen, and most likely the couch too."

"Wow. Just, wow." She smiled up at him. "I will definitely give you a ride to the garage then."

"Great."

"Let me know when you're ready." He drummed his fingers on the counter before returning to his desk. The papers he had left were going to have to wait. He was now thinking about Pam and her boyfriend-wow, him-making out on his desk, and in the conference room, and the break room, and...

It was five o'clock before he knew it and Pam was leaning on his desk, "Ready, Halpert?"

"Yup, let's go get your car."

"Oh, hold on, I almost forgot." She walked over to Karen's desk and pulled the box out from under it. Karen had left a voicemail telling Pam to use it, as well as what things she needed. Pam filled the box with the few items and made her way back to Jim. "Can't forget these."

"Yeah." He looked down at the items and back up at Pam. Her smile made him feel more at ease. They walked to the door and donned their coats. Jim took the box from her, insisting she shouldn't have to carry his ex-girlfriend's things. When they were in the elevator he kissed her on the cheek and she smiled wide.

She knew the rest of her night was going to be interesting and probably quite difficult to get through, but knowing she had Jim by her side helped her know she could do it. She promised to call him after she left Karen's and he kissed her gently before she got out of his car. He waited until she had started hers, just in case, and he drove home, awaiting her call. It was going to be a long night for both of them.

Defiance
def'n: not telling Toby about your new office relationship

Pam sat in her car for fifteen minutes before she made up her mind that she was going in. She looked up at Karen's apartment building and let out a nervous sigh. She knew that Karen just wanted her stuff. She wasn't going to beat up for going up to the door, but she almost wished that's what she was in for.

As she made her way up the walk to the building, Pam held her breath. Karen would want to talk and the topic was obvious, but Pam was planning on avoiding talking about Jim if at all possible. She let out the breath she had been holding when she reached Karen's door. She rang the doorbell with her free hand and stepped back when she heard footsteps.

The door swung open to reveal a beaming Karen, not what Pam was expecting. "Hey, Pam." She sounded happy to see her, but Pam attributed it to the glass of wine she held. She pushed the door open and stepped to the side, "Come on in."

Pam entered the apartment, noticing it was much like its owner. The living room was well manicured in a serious, straight-forward way. It seemed like everything had its place and even with the few moving boxes next to the couch, and Pam felt like she didn't quite belong. She handed Karen the box when prompted by an outstretched hand and took a step back towards the door. Karen had been absently sipping at her wine.

"You want something to drink?"

"Um, no, that's okay. I really can't stay; I have a couple errands to run."

"Oh, come on. Just come and talk with me for a few minutes." She made her way to her couch and sat down, looking back over at Pam.

Pam glanced nervously at the door, "Um, okay." She didn't take her coat off, but joined Karen on the couch.

They sat in an awkward silence for nearly ten minutes, Karen sipping her wine and Pam glancing around the room nervously before a long sigh broke the tension. Pam wasn't sure if the sigh came from her or from Karen, but she knew it wasn't her words that filled the room.

"He loves you. He's loved you for a really long time."

Pam turned to look at her finally. "What-how-"

"He never loved me, Pam. He wants to be with you. You know what's weird about it?" she asked after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"I don't care. I mean, I care, but I'm surprisingly okay with it all." She didn't look at Pam, but she continued explaining herself, "I want Jim to be happy. I mean, it's not like he was an asshole or anything. I asked after all. If I didn't want to know that he was in love with you, I shouldn't have asked. I think I was a distraction for him, but he never made me feel that way. That's why I can't hate him for what he did. That's why I want you to leave." She drank the last of he glass of wine and set it on the coffee table.

"What?" Pam looked over at Karen, who was now staring intently at her.

"You need to go to him."

"Karen, I can't do something like that. I mean, you guys just broke up." She thought back to the night before, but had to shut the idea out of her head immediately since Karen was speaking again.

"I know. We broke up because he's in love with you. I don't hate him for that and I don't hate you either. I just needed you to know that."

I just needed you to know. Once.

Neither woman said much more. Karen thanked Pam for bringing over her things. Pam hugged Karen and apologized for how things turned out. She realized that no matter how much she wanted to hate Karen, she couldn't. Karen had never done anything wrong other than falling for the same man she had, and she couldn't hate her simply for that.

Pam sat in her car for nearly ten minutes before pulling out her cell phone and dialing Jim's number. It rang three times before he answered; sounding tired and annoyed, "Yeah?"

"So, I think I just had the most uncomfortable conversation of my life."

"Pam? How'd it go?" He sounded wide awake now.

"Can I come over?"

"Yeah."

So, she went over. He greeted her at the door with a hug, not caring that it was cold outside and he wore a light tee shirt and sweatpants. When he finally led her inside, she shared the conversation she had with Karen over a cup of tea. They ended up on the couch after the tale had been told, snuggling silently. Neither could think of a thing to say that would make the situation less uncomfortable. And that's how the evening ended, in a simple silence on Jim's couch.

Uncomfortable
def'n: sitting in Karen Fillipeli's living room two days after she broke up with Jim-aka, the day after you started dating him

It was Saturday, and it was snowing. Pam woke with a sigh, curled up on the couch by herself. It took her a moment to realize where she was. The apartment was larger than her own, and smelled different-it smelled like Jim. She stretched and found an afghan lying over her. It smelled of his fabric softener and she could tell it was hand made. She heard sounds coming from the kitchen area, and she smiled when she heard him singing.

"Tender love is blind. It requires dedication. All this love we feel needs no conversation..."

She got up and followed his voice to the kitchen where he had his back turned to her.

"We can ride it together, ah ha. Making love with each other-"

"Ah ha."

He turned, pancake turner in hand, to see her standing at the counter smiling at him.

"Islands in the Stream, Halpert? Really."

"Hey, it's a classic. Hungry?" He offered the skillet to her.

She smiled and nodded, taking a seat at the table. "What time is it?"

"Late enough." He was placing pancakes on a plate for her, humming the song as he did so. When he placed the plate in front of her, he kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank you, dear." She grabbed her fork and lifted a bite to her lips before he had a chance to bring her syrup. She was working on her third bite when he came back to the table.

"Geez, Beesly, hungry a little?" She laughed at this, putting her fork down on the plate.

She smiled and got up, moving towards his side of the table. He leaned back when she reached his side, allowing her to slip into his lap easily. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. She laid her head on his shoulder after a short kiss. They sat that way until the doorbell rang out. Pam let out a groan, nuzzling her face into his shoulder before rising from his lap.

"Damn-it, Mark. He was coming to pick up some crap. I told him to call first."

"I'll go get it." She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and skipped to the door.

He watched after her. She looked ridiculous in what she was wearing-a pair of his boxers and one of his dress shirts-and it caused him to laugh out loud. His laughter subsided quickly as she opened the door. Karen. Karen had come over and Pam was there-wearing his underwear-this was not going to be good.

"Pam?"

"Oh, hi Karen," Pam squeaked as she moved behind the door, hoping Karen hadn't noticed her outfit.

"Karen!" Jim shot up from his chair, nearly knocking it down behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought you some of your shit. I would have given it to Pam last night, but I didn't actually think she'd come over here. But-" she looked Pam up and down, "obviously she couldn't help it."

"Karen, it's not like that," Pam said, moving to close the door. Karen was already half way through the living room, facing Jim rather than Pam.

"You didn't come over here to screw him last night?" She didn't turn from Jim.

"No."

Her head dropped down and she took a deep breath. "I brought you this." She handed Jim a bag and turned to leave. She stopped to look at Pam. "Do you really love him?"

Pam looked between Karen and a shocked Jim. "Yeah, I do."

"Good. I would hate to think I did all of this for nothing."

"Karen, I need you to understand something. I never wanted to break you two up. I didn't want to hurt you. True, I was upset when Jim came back to Scranton involved with someone, but honestly, I'm glad it was you." She was wringing her hands together, looking intently at Karen.

"I know. It's fine. You didn't break us up. We broke ourselves up." She turned to Jim. "I'll be in New York on Monday. Jan gave me a position at Corporate."

"Good for you," he finally choked out.

"I'm not mad. I wanted you to know that. Goodbye, Jim."

"Bye, Karen."

She turned and walked towards the door, stopping with her hand on the knob, "Bye, Pam. You were a good friend to me when you really didn't have to be."

Pam nodded and Karen exited the apartment smiling slightly. Pam turned to Jim who was standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room holding the paper bag at his side. His mouth was open as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He dropped the bag, but remained in place.

"That was-"

"Wow."

"Yeah. I'm, uh, gonna go change."

"Yeah."

She walked towards the bathroom where she left her clothes the night before. He made his way back to the kitchen table and sat in the seat she had inhabited. He put his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands. "What the hell was that?" he asked when he heard her behind him.

"Letting out the anger she's been keeping inside?"

"But she said she was happy for us."

"I know. Women do crazy things."

"No shit." He received a smack on his shoulder at that comment, causing him to look up at her.

She smiled, leaned down, and kissed him sweetly on the lips. "Don't worry, I'm not terribly crazy."

"Just a little?"

"Just a little." She sat across from him and smiled again. She sighed before she spoke again, "So, what do you want to do today?"

"Sit here and pretend Karen didn't just see you in my underwear?"

She laughed at him to break the tension. "Oh, come on, you loved me in your underwear."

"Well..."

The mood had lightened dramatically. Pam got up and went to sit in his lap again. He welcomed her, of course. He fed her a couple pieces of cold pancake with his fingers and kissed her neck. Pam was laughing her sweet laugh and Jim was picking at her pancakes when the phone rang. "Ugh, if that's Mark, I may have to kill him."

"Should I get it?"

"No, I got it." She got off of his lap and then sat back in the chair when he went to get the phone off the counter. He leaned forward with his back to her. "Hello? Oh, hey Mark. No, I'm fine." He sounded perturbed that Mark had called, not that Pam didn't know why.

She got up quietly and tip-toed over to him. She didn't want to let him on to her actions as he continued talking to Mark, who obviously wanted to chat on the phone rather than coming over.

"No, seriously Mark, everything is fine. Yeah, I broke up with her. No, things are okay. Oh, um-" he was surprised by Pam's arms around him and the pressure of her lips through the back of his shirt. "Yeah, no, that's fine." He turned around so he faced her. He wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her up to him. She moved her arms up between them, laying them on his chest. She lifted her head up to kiss him and he obliged, still listening to Mark on the other side of the phone. "Mmhmm," he agreed with something as he kissed Pam. He pulled away from her quickly, "Um, listen, Mark, I really don't want to talk about this right now. Yeah, no, it's fine. I actually have something important to take care of so, you'll be over at three? Okay, see you then." He put the phone down behind him and looked down at her as he wrapped his other arm around her and she raised her arms around his neck.

"So, what's this important thing you have to take care of?"

He smirked and leaned down to kiss her. "You, of course." He continued to lean against the counter while he held her. Her hands were in his hair as they kissed.

They broke free from one another for a moment to catch their breath. Jim reached up to the collar of her work shirt and played with the top button, loosening it in one gentle motion. As his hand glided down to the second button, his lips met hers again. Her arms were back down on his chest and he felt her push against him when he reached the third button.

"Jim."

"Hmm?" He pulled back to look at her.

"It's not that I don't want to, but I just-well-I kinda want to wait."

He pulled his hand back from her shirt, but placed it back on her hip. "Okay," he whispered as he kissed her on the forehead, "We'll wait."

"You're okay with that?

"Absolutely." He leaned down and kissed her again, a short sweet kiss. "I'm pretty sure I could wait forever for you."

She smiled and kissed him passionately, pulling him down to her. She pulled him back with her, never breaking from his lips. They laughed when she back into the kitchen table. He pulled back from her to look down into her eyes.

"What are we doing?"

"Passing time till Mark shows up." She smiled at him and led him towards his bedroom. She stopped and pulled him into a kiss again when they reached the door. She walked backwards again, sitting when she reached the bed.

He sat next to her, pulling back to look at her, confused. "Are we waiting, or-"

She laughed at him. "My plan was not to sleep with you, Mr. Halpert. I simply want to torture you a little."

He smiled at her and lay back with her, moving his lips to hers again. "Well, you're doing a fantastic job," he breathed against her lips.

They laid there for nearly an hour, kissing and talking. Pam was resting her head on his shoulder, rubbing her hand up and down his chest. Jim's arms were wrapped protectively around her. Her eyes were getting heavy and she fought to stay awake, even though Jim's eyes had been closed for some time.

"Jim?"

"Hmm?" He didn't open his eyes, but turned his head down slightly to show he was listening.

"Does this all seem a little weird to you? I mean, does it seem like it's some kind of movie or something?"

"You mean that three days ago I was with someone I wasn't that interested with and now I'm holding the woman I love in my arms? Not only that, but the aforementioned not love of my life is okay with how things turned out?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah." He opened his eyes and stared down into hers, "But I'm not going to let it bother me too much."

"Good, me neither." She let her eyes close finally, allowing sleep to overtake her.

She awoke alone in Jim's bed. She could hear voices coming from the living room, but it took her a few minutes to realize Mark was talking with Jim. She rolled over, getting up from the bed and smoothing her skirt before making her way to the door. She smiled at Jim's voice, until she heard what was being said.

"No, Mark, things are fine."

"Jim, seriously, you shouldn't be jumping into something with her. Pam isn't the kind of girl you should be getting involved with."

"That's not what you were saying a year ago."

"Yeah, well, I didn't think she'd cheat on her fiancée a year ago. I never thought she was the kind of girl that would do something like that. Not only that, but the day after you break up with your girlfriend, she's there making a move."

"Jesus, Mark, it's not like that."

"You're not thinking clearly, man. All you're thinking about is a nice piece of ass."

Pam heard something thud against the table, probably Jim's fist. She had never heard him truly angry before.

"I don't think about Pam that way. In fact, I never think about any woman that way. You're being a hypocrite about this. I mean, you don't even know Pam. You've met her, what, once? Maybe you should get to know her a little better before you go judging her."

"Fine, I'm sorry, okay?"

There was a long silence, but Pam knew better than to make her presence known. She tiptoed to the edge of the hall so she could hear better, but so that they couldn't see her from the kitchen. She had thought it was weird that Jim didn't move back in with Mark when he came back to Scranton, but now she was wondering if this was all part of that.

"Its okay, Mark. I know you're having a hard time right now."

"Yeah, man, thanks for putting up with my shit."

"No problem. You put up with mine for years."

She could hear them coming towards her, making their way to the door. She wasn't sure if Mark had seen her or not, but Jim looked her direction, smiling slightly as he passed the hallway. When he came back, he leaned against the wall looking at her. "Hi."

"Hey."

Painful
def'n: what Karen and Mark think [about Jim and Pam]

By the end of the weekend, Karen and Mark had faded out of conversation. Saturday evening, Pam had driven home and called Jim the moment she made it through her front door; their exchange lasted into early Sunday morning when they both fell asleep, the other still on the line.

By silent agreement, they spent Sunday apart, pretending they were okay with not seeing the other. When Monday morning rolled around, however, they realized spending a day apart may not have been such a good idea.

Pam greeted everyone as they entered the office; Stanley, Kevin, Dwight, Angela, Ryan and Kelly, Oscar, Phyllis, Toby, Meredith, and Creed. Michael wandered in-ten minutes late-and made his way directly to his office. She was beginning to wonder where Jim was when the door opened and he sauntered in.

There wasn't the smile she expected on his face; instead, he looked almost angry. He took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack without looking at her.

"Morning, Jim," she said quietly.

He looked up at her, but instead of smiling, he looked like he was going to cry.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged and nodded towards the break room. She nodded and waited for him to make his way to the door before she got up. He was standing next to the vending machine when she got there. He didn't look up at her, but sighed loudly.

"Seriously, Jim, what's wrong?"

He looked up, but not at her. He looked around the break room and then towards each door before leaning down and kissing her gently on the lips. He smiled and looked her in the eyes, "Nothing's wrong." He walked past her back into the office, missing the shocked expression on her face.

He was sitting quietly at his desk when she returned minutes later. She didn't look at him, but made her way quickly behind her desk, sitting down as if nothing had happened. When she knew he wasn't paying attention, she reached up and removed the candy dish from the counter, placing it next to her monitor.

Pam didn't notice Jim leaning over the counter until he cleared his throat. "Can I help you with something?"

"Did we forget to put the candy dish out this morning, Pam?"

"No." She looked back down at her computer screen, ignoring him.

"Then, where is it?"

"No candy for naughty boys," she said, just above a whisper.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He leaned over the counter slightly, trying to get her to look at him. She refused.

"I don't give candy to bad boys."

"Well, what do you give them?" He was struggling to keep a straight face as he said the words.

Pam finally looked up at Jim, giving him a stern face that could only be compared to that of Angela. The look made him lean back away from her, but he didn't leave the counter. He drummed his fingers on the counter until she responded, "I give bad boys what they deserve, but not on company time." She turned back to her computer stone-faced.

Jim had just opened his mouth in rebuttal when Michael strolled from his office. "Oh, ho, ho. Don't tell me, Pammy's holding out on you Jimbo."

"Um." Jim turned towards Michael, shooting a quick look at the camera. "We're not together."

"Well, maybe you should be." Michael was trying to be subtle about his intensions; however, subtlety was never one of Michael's strengths.

Pam looked at Michael with distain, attempting to keep her smile hidden. "Michael, that's inappropriate."

"Not if it's true."

Pam looked at the camera over Michael's shoulder with an "oh man" kind of look and then sighed. She looked back over to Jim though he wasn't looking at her. He looked like he could punch Michael in the face-not something she was expecting.

"Michael-seriously, drop it. I just broke up with Karen. I am not dating Pam." He didn't lie. He and Pam weren't dating-he was waiting for her to be ready so they could-no. He had to not think about things like that.

"Well, pfff. BFD. Seriously, you two need to get together already."

"Jesus." Pam got up from her seat and, grabbing her coat, left the office. She couldn't take Michael being that way any longer. Even though she was happy that he thought she and Jim should be together, there was something about the way he was expressing it that made her angry.

She stopped when she reached the cold January air. She breathed in and pulled her coat around her small body. She didn't turn when she heard him come out the front door, but instead walked around to the side of the building where they would be away from peering eyes. His arms encircled her waist when they reached the side of the building; pulling her close to his warm body.

They stood there silently for a moment, Pam leaning back into Jim's embrace. His laugh caused her to turn to look up at him. "What's so funny?"

"Michael trying to set us up. He's terrible at it."

The corners of her mouth curled up as she began to giggle. "God, he is, isn't he?" She leaned her head down on his chest as she began to laugh openly.

"I wouldn't put it past him to keep going with this when we get back up there."

"Oh man, this is going to get so much worse."

"Well," he said, leaning back to look at her, "You do have a boyfriend I would have to deal with."

"He's pretty great. And he could probably kick your ass.'

"We'll go with that. Or we could screw with Michael."

"That's what she said." She laughed loudly at her joke as he shook his head at her in disgust.

"You are terrible."

She smiled and leaned towards him, gently pressing her lips to his. When she pulled back, she gave him a half smile and a shrug. "We should go back."

"Yeah. How do you want to play it?"

"Just follow my lead." She pulled away from his embrace and walked towards the building.

When they made it upstairs, she gave him a quick look before opening the door and speaking up slightly, "Jim, I have a boyfriend and I don't think its right for you to be coming after me like that."

"I was just making sure you were okay."

She placed her coat back on the coat rack and made her way back around her desk, not sitting, but placing her hands flat on the desk in front of her. "It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture or anything, but you need to give me my space."

"Okay, fine. I just wanted to know you were okay."

"I am. Don't worry about me, I'm a big girl."

"Sorry." He turned and walked the few steps to his desk, sitting down without looking at anyone.

Pam sat down, glancing at Michael who was standing at his window, watching the exchange. She gave him a look as to say "butt out." He closed the blinds and she looked down at her computer, opening an IM session with Jim.

PBeesly: So, that didn't go too bad.

JHalpert: Well, Phyllis is giving you the eye right now.

Pam looked up to see Phyllis smiling slightly at her. Pam smiled back and looked back at her computer.

JHalpert: I think Michael will leave us alone though.

PBeesly: Yeah, but this isn't working.

Jim tensed up in his seat.

JHalpert: WHAT?

JHalpert: Pam, what do you mean?

JHalpert: Did I do something?

PBeesly: Whoa!

PBeesly: Chill out Halpert.

PBeesly: I mean this whole not telling people. We can't hide it for too long.

JHalpert: Jesus...you scared me.

PBeesly: You don't have to worry. No angry typing=no problem.

JHalpert: "angry typing"?

He turned in his chair to face her. She looked up at him before she typed a response. She hit the keys slightly harder than necessary to get her point across.

PBeesly: ANGRY TYPING. No caps lock mind you...all shift key.

JHalpert: you know...I think I love you a little bit more now.

PBeesly: good. I may have to break up with that boyfriend of mine so we could go out...I mean, if you love me now and everything.

JHalpert: just for the record, I never stopped loving you

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. It took him a moment, but with no response from her, he turned and smiled at her. She smiled back knowing she officially loved the man who happened to be her best friend-not that she didn't before, but it was official now.

The rest of the day dragged on. No one approached Jim or Pam about the happenings from earlier, but the cameras sure seemed to find nothing more interesting to watch than Pam playing solitaire and Jim making sales calls. They avoided talking-in person or in IM-for that reason alone. They could always talk later.

And talk later they did. All night in fact-for the next week. Even with Pam's concern, Jim convinced her they could keep their relationship under wraps for a while at least. They rarely saw each other outside of the office for a week and a half, but that seemed to make it easier for them at the office. They had "patched up" their friendship and had explained to Michael that he needed to not get involved in their love lives. He agreed, but they both knew that meant nothing.

Comical
def'n: Michal's attempts to set Jim and Pam up & ANGRY TYPING

Spending time apart was difficult for Jim and Pam, but they made the most of it. They held up their phone lines every night, talking to the other. Feeling the space would be too much, however, they constantly "bumped into each other"-three times that week.

Tuesday night they both did their grocery shopping. Walking the aisles of the local supermarket seemed terribly natural. Neither felt out of place talking and laughing as they bought their items. It was as if they had been shopping together for years.

Friday night they both happened to feel like a drink, ending up at Poor Richards. Jim sat at the bar when she arrived. She approached him as if she were surprised that he was there. They found a booth and ended up talking for hours. They were lucky that no one from work came into the bar that night, but neither would have cared very much.

Saturday afternoon they ran into each other at Starbucks. Pam had ordered a tea and was sketching when he knocked on the window she was sitting by. She smiled as he entered the coffee shop. He ordered his drink and sat across from her. She showed him her drawing of the people sitting on the bench across the street from them. He complimented her on her artwork and she shrugged it off as "not that good." Though they were in public, he couldn't help but reach across the table and take her hand in his, kissing the back of it gently. He told her to never put herself down, that she was very talented and that she needed to believe that.

They started spending more time together after everything seemed to calm down at work. Pam had broken up with her fake boyfriend-not that there was anything wrong with him, but he had to go. Jim would come over once or twice a week and Pam would go over to place a couple other nights. They would watch TV late into the night, cuddling on the couch. It was all strangely comfortable.

A month passed of their comfortable evenings and strategic meetings when Jim decided he needed to make a move in a new direction when it came to their relationship. He approached her in the break room. She was sitting with Phyllis and Oscar, eating her yogurt quietly.

"Well, hello Jim," Phyllis said gently.

"Hey there Phyllis, how are you?"

"Good, Jim, good."

"That's good. Hey, um, Pam, can I talk to you?"

She looked up at him, spoon to her lips. His hands were in his pockets and he shifted his weight slightly as he waited for her reply. She placed the spoon back in the yogurt canister and nodded up to him. She stood and smoothed her skirt before following him to the other side of the room.

"What's up?"

"Um," he seemed quite nervous, which was strange. "I was wondering if you had any plans Friday night."

"Um," she glanced towards Phyllis and Oscar who were both watching them intently. "Not yet, why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner."

"Like a date?" It should have been totally natural since they had had dinner every Friday for the last five weeks, but this was different. Jim was actually asking her out. At work. In front of people. It was like an official date proposal.

"Yeah. I mean, it doesn't have to be anything serious. If you wanted, it doesn't have to even be a date. It could just be us, friends, meeting for a casual dinner."

She smiled up at him gently. "I'd love to go on a date with you."

His eyes shot up from the spot he was boring into the floor. "Really?" As if she was going to say no, he sounded shocked.

"Of course."

"Cool. Um, we could go right after work Friday if that works for you."

"That would be fine."

They stood there smiling at each other for a few minutes. Phyllis clearing her throat pulled them from their moment and caused them both to laugh uncomfortably. Jim nodded slightly and headed back to his desk, while Pam went back to eat her lunch, refusing to acknowledge the fact that Phyllis and Oscar were both looking at her, smiling like Cheshire cats.

By Sunday, Kelly had called Pam thirteen times to find out how the date went. The one time Pam had actually answered the phone, Jim had to stifle his laughter. She held the phone at arm's length and could still hear Kelly's high pitched squeals. By agreeing that the date had been "awesome" and by promising to divulge all the special details, Pam was off the hook till Kelly and Ryan walked through the door Monday morning.

Adorable
def'n: Jim asking Pam out on an official date

"Oh my God, Pam! You have to tell me all about it!" Kelly shrieked as she approached reception.

"Oh, um, Kelly, I really don't-"

"I'm gonna go put my coat and purse away and then you can tell me all about your date, okay? Okay." Kelly walked off towards the annex and Ryan leaned on the counter.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but please tell her something." The look on his face showed what Pam had feared-Kelly had talked about her and Jim's date all weekend and would continue until she got the details.

"Okay."

"Thanks." He glanced in the direction Kelly went and then looked back at Pam, "I just wanted to tell you, I'm glad you two finally got together."

"Oh, it was just a date."

"Okay." Ryan looked skeptical, but winked at her before retreating to his desk. He had just sat down when Kelly returned, more excited than before.

"Okay Pam, I want details. Where did you guys go? Did you have fun? Was he nice? Did you kiss?" she rambled. After a quick pause, "Well?"

"Um, well-" Just as she started to relay the date to Kelly, the office door opened and Jim entered. He stopped to hang his coat up, looking at Pam as he did.

"Morning Pam, Kelly."

"Morning Jim. Pam was just going to tell me all about your date."

He hadn't stopped looking at Pam, "Really?" She looked away from him, staring down at her desk. "Well, have fun with that." He walked to his desk and sat down, avoiding Ryan's half gaze.

Kelly had already turned her attention back to Pam. She loudly whispered, "Doesn't he look so cute today?"

Pam looked up at Kelly finally, "Hey Kelly, can we talk about this later? I have some faxes to do for Michael this morning." She didn't wait for an answer. Standing, she turned her back to her and walked to the fax machine. Kelly looked shell-shocked, but quietly retreated back to the annex. When Pam turned to sit back down at her desk, she was surprised to see Jim perched by the candy dish. "Jim."

"Pam, we need to talk about this," he whispered.

"No," she hissed as she sat down.

"Come on, Pam. Please talk to me for five minutes."

"No. You've said enough."

"You have to let me explain."

She leaned forward to keep their conversation more private. "You already did that. You're not happy with my decision to wait."

"Pam, honey, it's not like that. Please, have lunch with me and let me try to explain."

She glared at him for a moment, "Fine."

"Thank you." He returned to his desk silently. She didn't look at him again until lunch.

At noon, he appeared at her desk. He waited until she looked over her monitor at him to speak, "So, you want to go out or stay here?"

"Are you serious with that question?" She hit the automatic voicemail button on the phone, got up, grabbed her coat, and walked towards the door. They met at the elevator. Nothing was said between them the entire ride down, nor in the parking lot, nor in his car as he drove to Cugino's. Once they had ordered their drinks, Jim spoke quietly, "I'm sorry."

She rested her cheek on her hand, propping her head up to look at him. "So, are you going to explain what the hell last night was all about?"

"Here's the thing; I love you Pam. I really am in love with you. I want this to work between us more than anything I've ever wanted before."

"Me too," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"But, see, you wanting to wait for us having sex doesn't bother me. I could wait for you forever if I needed to, but the whole sleeping together without sleeping together thing is beginning to really kill me. I mean, I don't want to push you into that until you're ready."

"Jim-"

"Wait, see, I'm in this for the long haul." He took a deep breath before he continued, "I want-I'd like to be able to-I want to marry you someday." He stopped heard her deeply inhale. He looked up to see her sitting back, tears in her eyes. "I just can't spend the night at your place anymore until you're ready."

"Why didn't you say all this stuff last night?"

"Well, when I said I wasn't staying with you anymore and you threw a tube of paint at my head, I figured it would be better if I left."

She made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sigh. "Oh God." She put her hand over her face and began to lightly giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm an idiot. When you told me that you couldn't stay with me, I thought you were breaking up with me." She pulled her hand away from her face and looked at him. "That makes me your crazy girlfriend, doesn't it?"

He sat back suddenly, a large, goofy grin covering his face.

"See, it does."

"No, it's not that; you've just never referred to yourself as my girlfriend before. But yes, you are my crazy girlfriend now."

She smiled back at him. "Good. I wouldn't want to be anyone else's crazy girlfriend."

"I love you Beasley."

"I love you too Halpert."

They finished their lunch quickly though neither wished to rush back to the office. They sat in his car outside the restaurant for ten minutes, kissing, when his cell phone rang. He groaned as he pulled back from her, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He looked up at her, "It's Dwight."

She leaned back against the passenger side door, crossing her arms over her chest, "Gee, that's peachy."

He let out a laugh before going to open the phone. She reached out quickly, snatching the phone from his hands. "Hold on, I have an idea." She straightened up in her seat before flipping the phone open, "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam."

"Oh, hello Dwight. Jim's cell phone? No, I'm not answering Jim's cell phone."

Jim reached over and hit a button on the side of the phone, causing Dwight's voice to fill the car via speakerphone.

"Pam, I'm telling you, I called Jim's cell phone."

"No, Dwight, you must be mistaken, I'm sitting right here at my desk talking to you."

"Pam-I'm sitting at my desk and the two of you are not here and I called Jim's cell phone."

Jim put the car into drive and made their way back to the office as Pam continued to talk to Dwight.

"Dwight, it's true, Jim and I went out for lunch-"

"And now you're almost a half an hour late getting back."

"No, we've been back for a while. Dwight, I'm not sure why you would say we're not here. Jim's at his desk and so am I."

"Pam, I'm looking at your desk right now and you are NOT there."

"Are you feeling okay, Dwight? Do you have a fever? I've heard that if you have a fever you can have delusions and-"

"I am NOT having delusions. You and Jim are not back from lunch and I'm telling Michael that you're not here."

"Maybe you should go splash some water on your face and see if that helps any. I really don't think you're feeling well and that might help."

"Well-"

"I just don't want you going and telling Michael we're not here, when we are, and making a fool of yourself. That's just something that would ruin everyone's day. I know it."

"Okay. Fine, but if you're still not here when I come back from the men's room, I'm going to talk to Michael."

"That's fine." Pam shut the phone quickly before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Jim turned off the car and looked at her, a smile forming on his face. "I must say Beasley, nice going there, but we have to get upstairs quick before Dwight gets back to his desk."

She stopped giggling and flipped open his phone, dialing quickly, "Hey, Phyllis, it's Pam. Hey, good, um, could you do me a favor and stall Dwight for a few minutes? Yeah, just make sure he doesn't get beck into the office till Jim and I get back up there. No, we're in the parking lot. Okay, thanks." She shut the phone and looked over to Jim lovingly.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you."

"I'm so glad my quick thinking leaves you weak-kneed."

"It absolutely does."

They were back at their desks when Dwight came into the office, looking confused and angry. "I see what this is."

Pam looked up from her computer and smiled at him. "Feeling better?"

"You sent me to the bathroom so that you could come into the office. Didn't you? And you were in on it." He pointed at Jim who gave him a "who me?" look.

"We were here the whole time, Dwight. Maybe you should go home; you still don't look so good."

Ryan looked slightly to his right and then up at Dwight, "Yeah, Dwight, they were here. You should go home for the day."

Dwight looked confused, but then made his way to Michael's office. After a few minutes he emerged and, grabbing his things, left the office. Jim just looked at Ryan, who had gone back to his work.

"Thanks for covering for us man."

Ryan looked up and smiled slightly, "Hey, no problem. Dwight was driving me crazy the entire time you were gone. Now maybe I can actually get some work done." He looked to Pam who was smiling at him.

"Thanks Ryan, we owe you."

"Yeah, you do." He winked at her and went back to his work.

She nodded and got up from her desk, walking towards the annex. Squealing could be heard moments later. Ryan was turned, facing that direction when Pam came back. She was holding a hand to her ear and grimacing. She paused when she reached him, "We are so even now."

He nodded and watched her go back to her desk. Jim turned and smiled at her, but when his smile was received with a shake of her head, he turned back to his desk, Ryan doing the same. Obviously Kelly had enjoyed Pam and Jim's date as much as they had-or most likely a little more.

Overreaction
def'n: Pam throwing paint at Jim, Dwight calling Jim, Kelly hearing about the date

April 15th was circled on Pam's calendar. It was the day of her and Jim's three month anniversary and though she had never kept track of anniversaries of any kind with Roy, she counted the days she was with Jim. She thought it was funny, she was always such a romantic, but the more she thought about it, being with Roy had been a chore. It was as if it was something she had to do. Now that she was with Jim, she felt like there was a weight lifted from her shoulders. There were little things, though; little things that he did that would drive her crazy.

He watched her paint. It was something that she couldn't stand. He would sit on the couch and stare at her as she painted. "Do you have to do that?"

"What?"

"Watch me?" She wouldn't even have to turn around to know his eyes were on her. She could feel them.

"Why? Do you not like it?"

"I hate it, actually. Why don't you watch TV or something?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Well, if you continue to watch me, I might have to kill you so, cut it out."

He hated being at his place with her. It wasn't that she never got to go to his place, but it seemed like they were always at hers. Maybe it was because he had bad memories of Karen at his place. Maybe it was that her place was more centrally located. Maybe it was because he didn't want to clean. Whatever it was, it was getting on her nerves.

"It's not that I mind having you over, but I would like to go to your place once in a while."

"Pam, it's not that I don't want you there, but it's weird."

"Weird? Having me around is weird?"

"That's not what I meant. I just-my place is a bachelor pad and-"

"And I would cramp your style."

"I never said that."

"You were thinking it."

"I was not. I would love for you to come over more."

"Good."

He insists on doing the dishes. She would rather leave them so she can spend their shortened evenings together. He needs to have them done before they can cuddle. That's how April 15th became a momentous night in their relationship.

"Come on Jim. Do you really have to do the dishes right now?" She was standing by the sink, leaning against the counter. He had his hands submerged in the sudsy water, scrubbing the casserole dish she had made the lasagna in.

"You know how I hate dirty dishes."

"Jim," she said in her best seductive voice. This caused him to turn and look at her. "Come on. It's our three month anniversary here. I want to do things that are more fun than watching you wash dishes."

"Um, you've never had a problem with me washing dishes before."

"Jim." She grabbed his wet hands and held them in hers. "I'm telling you right now; it bugs me that you can't leave these till later. It has always bugged me, but I never say anything. Tonight, however, I feel I have to make you stop."

He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. "Pam, if I don't finish these now, I'll be leaving before they get done and I don't want to make you do them."

"Then don't leave."

"What?"

"Stay the night. Then you can do them in the morning." She grabbed the dish towel off the counter and dried their hands as he stared down at her.

"Pam-"

"Jim," she placed the towel back on the counter, pulling him closer to her. "I want you to stay here tonight."

"Pam, you know I can't stay with you till you're ready."

"Well, I'm ready."

He looked down at her with wide eyes, moving his hand to her hips, "Are you sure?"

She nodded, reaching on her tip toes to kiss him gently on the lips. The kiss became more impassioned as Jim wrapped his arms around her and pulled their bodies flush to one another. She smiled into his lips as she tightened her arms around his neck. He quickly lifted her from the ground, never breaking their kiss. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he started blindly walking towards the bedroom.

After knocking into two walls, Jim and Pam fell onto her neatly made bed. "Ow."

Jim lifted his hand off the bed where it had landed on her hair, pulling it slightly, "Sorry."

"It's okay," she responded against his lips. She began tugging at the bottom of his polo shirt causing both of them to sit up at the end of the bed. She pulled back from him far enough to pull his shirt the rest of the way off, nearly taking his head with it.

"Jesus, Beasley."

She didn't respond, throwing her leg over his lap, straddling him, and pushing his shoulders back till they hit the bed. She pulled back long enough to whip her hair out of her face and exhale deeply. As he opened his mouth to speak again, she slammed her lips to his, but quickly pulled back after also slamming her forehead into his.

Jim placed his hands on her arms, rubbing up and down slightly, "Pam, honey, maybe we should take this slow."

"Jim," she breathed, "Do you realize how long it's been since I've had sex?"

He cocked his head at her.

"We're not going to able to take this slow." She crashed her lips to his again, feeling his hands skim down her body to her thighs. She groaned against his lips.

He brought his hands to the buttons on her shirt, fumbling with them like he had never unbuttoned a woman's shirt before. By the time he pushed the silky material off her shoulders he noticed that Pam had already been to work on his jeans. They were unbuttoned and unzipped, slightly startling him. She had sat back again and was looking over his bare chest when he breathed, "Jesus."

"What?"

"You're beautiful." He could barely get the words out. She laughed at him, skimming her hand across his chest before rocking back to sit on his legs. She reached towards the button on her own jeans.

She laughed nervously when she couldn't get the zipper down. She had to break her gaze from his eyes to the stubborn metal, huffing as she did so. Once she got the zipper undone, she shifted to pull them off, nearly falling over in the process. She was able to get Jim's jeans off with less trouble, but she seemed out of breath when she finally sat on his thighs again.

Jim stared up at her. She looked nervous. He was sure he did too. He reached up and slowly slid a bra strap off her shoulder, feeling her shiver under his touch. He smiled when she placed her hands on either side of his shoulders, leaning down over him. His fingers grazed her spine as he made his way for the bra clasp. He struggled with it for moment, her face falling from a smile to frustration as he continued to try. She finally sat up and did it herself.

"God, I feel like a virgin here."

"Shut up." She kissed him again, laying her body to his. They rolled so he was on top of her, heavy, but comforting. She tugged at his boxers, causing him to lift off her.

"Wait, I don't have-"

"I'm on the pill," she said quickly.

"I know, but-"

She huffed, reaching for the nightstand where she pulled on the top drawer a little too forcibly. The drawer crashed to the floor, spilling its contents next to and under the bed. "Why?" she nearly cried out.

He reached over to grab the first condom he could find. She snatched it from him, trying to pull it open every way she could think. She whimpered as he took it from her with one hand, ripping it open with his teeth. This caused her to smile and laugh.

She sighed heavily as they lay next to each other. He looked away from the ceiling to her. She didn't look away from her spot on the ceiling and the unhappy look on her face made him look back up as well. "Well-"

"That was-"

"Not good."

"No, really not good. What the hell happened?"

"How could we be so bad?"

She shifted into the mattress more, pulling the sheet up closer to her shoulders. "That was-oh man."

"You want to try again?" he ventured.

"Not really. You want to talk about it?"

"Not really." The silence in her room was deafening. "Would you mind if I went to finish the dishes?"

"Be my guest."

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, snatching his boxers off the floor. He pulled them on before heading towards the door, barely glancing back at her. She was lying on her side, facing away from him. He wanted to say something, but he wasn't quite sure what could be said. He just walked down the hall to the kitchen. He leaned on the counter, staring at the sink for a moment. He didn't care about the dishes, he just couldn't stay there with her after embarrassing himself the way he did. He hadn't moved in nearly ten minutes when he heard her sigh from the kitchen doorway. He turned and leaned on the counter. There was an apology written on his face.

She clasped her hands together in front of her. She was wearing a short black satin robe and she had pulled her hair back in a ponytail. "I was thinking. I think I know why that was so," she paused, looking for the right word, "not unbelievable."

"You mean bad?"

"No. Not bad, just not what I think we expected. I mean, I really thought sex with you would be-"

"Earth-shattering?"

She stood up straight and nodded, "Yeah. And honestly, I was nervous as hell"

He sighed in relief, "Me too."

"I figured."

"Thanks."

"Not like that. I just-that was like we had never had sex before. Which was weird, but you know, it can only get better, right?"

"Yeah. I mean, we love each other. We enjoy spending time together. We know just about everything about each other. This should come naturally to us." He had taken a few steps towards her.

"It should."

He was standing in front of her. She looked up into his eyes and smiled coyly. He placed his hands on her arms and she instinctively placed her hands behind his neck. His arms encircled her waist as he leaned down to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he grabbed her behind and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him like she had earlier in the evening.

He smiled into her lips when he realized ALL she had on was the robe. She pulled back from him and smiled lightly. She pulled him close and nestled her face into the crook of his neck, whispering seductively, "Take me to bed."

And he did.

Horrifying
def'n: the FIRST time Jim and Pam have sex

She watched him intently as he scurried around her bedroom. Her bare stomach lay against the crumpled fitted sheet, the top sheet strategically placed between her lower back and mid-thigh. She propped up her chin in her hand, creating a beautiful arch in her back. As he passed the end of the bed for the third time she kicked her feet up near the headboard. On his way past her for the forth time, she sighed heavily to grab his attention.

He stopped and looked down at her. He kissed her gently on the lips, "Hey, tiger."

"Tiger?" She laughed at him, cocking her head as he continued to the dresser.

He opened "his drawer" before responding, "After last night, um, yeah. I'm going to have a good time explaining the scratches on my back to the guys."

"Is that why you're dressed like that?" She looked him over. He had on loose fitting wind pants and an old college shirt. She knew he was wearing shorts under the pants and he had already grabbed his tennis shoes.

"Yeah," he sat next to her at the foot of the bed, kissing her quickly before bending down to put on his shoes. "Remember? I have that pick up basketball game with Mark this afternoon."

"Ugh." She flopped down dramatically, flinging her arms over the end of the bed. A small chuckle escaped his lips before she rolled over, carefully pulling the blanket with her.

He turned to look down into her eyes once his shoes were tied. "What is it?"

"Do you have to go?" she whined.

"I promised Mark-"

"That the last Saturday of every month was b-ball day."

Jim smiled and nodded before getting up to grab his wallet off the nightstand. He gathered the four condom wrappers from the stand and held them up for her to look at. "This is just laziness Beesly. The least you could do is throw them away." He walked over to the bathroom door and tossed them in the garbage.

She had sat up and wrapped the sheet around herself, her legs pulled underneath. "I wish you didn't have to go yet."

"Well, I promised. Besides, I'm already ten minutes late. What am I supposed to say?"

"Tell him the truth. You were having massive amounts of sex with your girlfriend."

"Yeah, no," he laughed at her. He grabbed his duffle bag, kissed her on the forehead, and made his way to the bedroom door. "I'll see you later."

"Hey," she said quickly, stopping him. He turned and leaned in the doorway. "Don't wash up before you come back."

"Why?"

"Because, though I plan on staying in bed all day, I might be persuaded to take a shower."

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "Who are you and what have you done with Pamela Beesly?"

"I'm still Pam. I'm just the new, improved, and sexually fulfilled Pam Beesly."

"Well then. On that note, I'm gonna go do something to keep my mind off that." He turned and walked to the front door, pausing when he heard her voice.

"I love you!"

"Love you to, you little sex fiend." He closed the door listening to her laugh.

Instead of dressing, Pam wrapped the sheet around her, tucking the loose end in the front. She let the ends drag across the floor as she snatched her undergarments from the spots they had landed in the night before. She noticed the panties she had worn were now ripped. She shook her head as she entered the bathroom and tossed them in the garbage. The last couple weeks with Jim had been remarkable. After their failed attempt at having amazing sex, they tried again, and again, and again, finally reaching the "earth-shattering" phase thirteen days after their first try (which was the night before).

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, smiling at the redness Jim's stubble had left on her neck and chest when she heard the doorbell ring. She laughed all the way to the door, pulling it open without asking who it was. "Decided to shower before the game?"

The man that stood before her was not the one she expected. He was wearing a nice polo shirt and khaki pants. His hair had been combed back and his beard was well kept.

"Roy?" She pulled at the sheet, wrapping it tighter around herself, holding onto it as if her life depended on her keeping it up.

"Oh, um, hey Pam." He diverted his eyes to the ground, but not after looking her over quickly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I, um, well, I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh," she breathed out, moving so the door was more between them. "Um. Is it important?"

"Sort of."

"Oh. Well, I guess you could come in." She moved so he could come into the apartment.

He didn't look at her as he entered. He stood by the large armchair in the corner, focusing his eyes on everything but her. She closed the door and walked towards her bedroom. "I'm just going to go put something on."

He looked at her suddenly, "Oh God, are you not alone?"

"No, I am. It's okay, I'll just be a minute." She turned and walked-almost too quickly-into her room, shutting the door behind her.

Pam cracked the bedroom door, peeking out before opening it the rest of the way, returning to where she had left him. Roy was sitting forward on the couch, remote in hand. She stepped into the living room quietly. She let out a breath to let him know she was there. He clicked off the television, stood up, and turned to look at her.

"Oh, hey, I hope you don't mind. I was just checking the scores real quick."

"Oh, no, that's fine." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

He looked her up and down for a moment. She had on jeans and form-fitting t-shirt. He had noticed the few times he had seen her in the last month that she had been wearing different clothes. Clothes that were very "un-Pam like". "Um, you look really nice."

"Thanks. You look nice too. Hot date?" She laughed at her own words, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to lunch, but we don't have to."

"Oh. Well we could go out if you want."

"Yeah, sure." The truth was that she hated having him in her apartment; the apartment that she and Jim spent their time in. Besides the fact that her apartment smelled like Jim, she didn't want Roy seeing that part of her life; it was none of his business. She grabbed a white sweatshirt and her purse as he opened the door for her.

They drove to a small diner downtown in silence. They had ordered their drinks when Pam spoke, "So, what's up?"

"Um, well, here's the thing-"

Pam tensed up. The last time she had heard a conversation start like that, it had been with Jim-when he had told her he wanted to marry her.

"I just wanted to know if you thought that we could ever get back together.'

She was taken back at that. "Um, listen, Roy, I really don't think so."

"Yeah." He nodded his head and hung it slightly.

"Look Roy, it's just-"

The waitress interrupted them for their order-grilled ham and cheese for her, a burger for him. Pam leaned forward on her arms as she folded them on the table. She watched him as he stared to his beer.

"Is he a nice guy?"

His question surprised her, but she replied quickly, "He really is."

"Do you love him?" He looked up at her.

"Yeah, I do."

"Does he love you?"

"Yeah, he does." Her voice had softened to almost a whisper, causing him to look up at her.

"He's good to you, right?"

"Of course he is."

Their food arrived and Roy looked her plate over as she shoved a fry in her mouth. "I guess I really didn't pay attention to you when we were together."

"Hmm?"

"I just never knew you liked grilled ham and cheese."

"Oh, it's something new I'm trying."

"Oh." He took a bite of his burger before he jumped right back into his inquisition, "So, what's his name?"

Pam nearly choked on her sandwich before she answered with the best thing she could, "Max." It wasn't a total lie. Jim's middle name was Maxwell so she figured it was close enough.

"So, um, what does this Max guy do for a living?" Roy's questions were becoming more accusing as he went along and Pam wasn't sure if it was jealously or his beer.

"Um, I don't think that really matters-"

"I just want to know the kind of people you're with these days."

"Roy, it's none of your business."

"I think who you're sleeping with is my business." He was leaning forward, which was making their conversation terribly uncomfortable for Pam.

"No, it's not. You know, I was starting to forget what it was that made me leave you in the first place, but now I remember pretty well." She started to get up when she felt his hand gently grab her arm. His eyes had softened and they practically pleaded her to sit back down. She did.

"I'm sorry Pammy. I just-I hate that I lost you."

"Roy, I've moved on. Just let it be that, please."

He nodded. "I miss you."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She looked down at her watch and then back up at him.

"You need to go?"

"Um, yeah. Do you mind giving me a ride home?"

He shook his head, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. She reached for hers, but he stopped her. After he paid for their half eaten lunch, he drove her home in silence.

Pam checked her watch as they entered her neighborhood. She was suddenly wishing Jim would decide to still shower after the game, giving enough time for Roy to leave. She let out a quiet sigh of relief when they rounded the corner onto her street and there was no sign of Jim. That sat in Roy's truck on the street outside her building in silence for a moment-something they had done a lot of that afternoon. Roy turned the radio down and smiled at her.

"Thank you for lunch," she said quietly, looking sown at her hands in her lap.

"You're welcome. Um, so, I just wanted to let you know that if this thing with Max doesn't work out, I'm here."

"Roy," she looked up at him. "I've moved on. You need to, too.'

"Yeah, okay." He looked away from her and she was afraid he might actually cry.

"I'm here as your friend, but that's as far as it goes, okay?"

"Yeah." After a silence he added, "This guy really makes you happy, huh?"

She nodded, "Yeah, he really does."

"Well, I love you Pammy, but I'm glad you're happy."

"Thank you Roy, for everything." She opened the door and climbed out of the truck. She waited till he looked up before she smiled, "I'll see you around, okay?"

"Yeah, bye Pam."

"Bye Roy." She shut the door and walked towards the front door, pausing to wave goodbye as he pulled away, before she headed back upstairs.

She was reclining on the couch when Jim returned. Her head was propped up on the armrest and she bent her legs at the knee. Her sketchpad lay against her thighs, staring back at her. The grey smudges could be considered a desk and a body; the blue smudge a dress. Her eyes were glued to it when he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"You were much prettier that night."

She looked up at him and smiled gently, "Good game?"

"Oh yeah. Totally wiped the floor with Marks ass."

"That's my man." She turned her head to watch him as he went into the kitchen and retrieved a beer from the fridge. He popped it open and returned to the living room, sitting on the coffee table next to her.

"So, what happened to not getting out of bed?"

She sighed deeply before answering, "Roy came over. He took me out to lunch because he had something important to talk about."

"And that would be?"

"He wanted to know if there was still a chance for him and me. I obviously said no, but I don't know. It was weird. I've never seen him like that, and it was uncomfortable, and I hated lying to him about being with you. Everything is getting out of hand with us and I wish it would all go away." She closed her sketchbook and threw it over her knees to the other end of the couch.

He reached out and took her hand in his, "Hey, we can tell people if you want. I'm okay with that."

"No. I don't really want people to know. It's our business. I'm just cranky. Besides, enough people know already." She sat up, but never released his hand.

"Who knows about us?"

"Well, my mom and yours, Mark, my cousin Lisa, Melissa from my art class, and Ryan."

"Ryan? As in Ryan from work?"

"Yeah."

"He knows about us?"

"Oh yeah."

"For how long?"

"Since he saw us making out in the parking lot about a week into our relationship."

"Oh man. And he hasn't said anything?"

"Nope."

He took a swig of his beer and smiled at her, "Is that why he keeps giving us weird looks and shit?"

"Yup. That would be why. He knows about Dwight and Angela too."

"Dwight and Angela?" He suddenly seemed extremely intrigued by the turn in their conversation. "Now this I have got to hear about. Spill Beesly."

"Um, how about we get you cleaned up first," she said tugging on his shirt with her free hand.

"No, I need to hear this one."

"It's a long story and I'm not sure I could wait it out, or be "in the mood" after telling it," she said, pulling him to his feet. She looked up at him suggestively and licked her lips.

"Well, in that case, I guess we're hitting the showers."

"Alright, coach, let's go."

He laughed at her and picked her up, one arm behind her back and the other under her knees. He carried her laughing frame to the shower, knowing the Dwight and Angela story hour would have to wait. He also knew it was going to be one very interesting story hour when they got around to it.

Fascinating
def'n: Dwight and Angela's relationship...as well as other things...

It didn't happen the way they would have liked. Progress in their careers was something they both hoped for, but when Jan Levinson and Michael Scott called Jim into Michael's office, that was exactly what was about to happen.

"Jim, I'm just going to lay it all out there."

"That's what she said," Michael quipped.

"Michael," Jan warned, glaring over his desk at him. "Listen, Jim," she said, turning in her chair to face him, "I'm here to offer you a corporate position; a promotion. We want you in New York to head up a team of salespeople who would train each individual branch on sales."

"New York?" Jim sat forward, visibly shaken.

"Yes. Look, Jim, you are one of the best sales people Dunder Mifflin has. We at corporate want you to be our new Sales Management Training Associate."

"I'm confused."

"Well, you would become a corporate team member. You would have your own office in New York, it'd be a raise, company car, and," she paused, waiting for him to look at her. Her face softened, "You wouldn't be a paper salesman anymore."

"I'll always be a paper salesman," he whispered. "Um, Jan, I can't just leave Scranton." He didn't look at Michael. He leaned back as he continued to look at Jan. She seemed upset that he wouldn't even consider the position, but she didn't press.

"Michael," she turned to him, "Could you leave Jim and me alone for a minute?"

"Oh come on Jan, this is my office."

"Michael."

"Jan, you-this, you know, Jim is not just my employee, he is my friend and I really feel like I should be involved in his decision-"

"Michael. I'm not going to change my mind. I'm not leaving Scranton. I'm sorry Jan."

Michael clapped his hands together, "Well, see Jan, you can't take my men away from me!"

Jan had been watching as Jim dropped his head and shifted in his seat. She had noticed his glance towards reception when he had said he wouldn't change his mind. "Michael," she addressed him forcibly, "I need to speak to Jim privately for a minute." She gave him a look that made it quite clear he needed to leave.

Instead of saying anything, Michael got out of his seat and walked to the door. He gave Jan a small smile as he opened the door and shut it quietly behind him.

She turned to face Jim completely before she spoke, "Jim-"

"Jan, I'm really honored that you would offer me this position, but I really just can't accept it. I can't leave Scranton this time."

"Jim, if this all about what I think it's about-well, let's just say, your position will require a secretary. A secretary that we're going to need to hire. Unless of course someone within the company would decide to transfer."

"Um-"

"Look, I'm the last person who should judge an office relationship-"

"I'm not in an office relationship."

"According to HR, no, you're not." She noted the way Jim shifted in his seat. He seemed nervous, as if he was involved in something he shouldn't be involved in and she had found him out. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. "Jim, I'm not telling you to disclose your relationship to HR. Honestly, between you and me," she waited till he looked up at her again, "I hate that rule and could care less if you and Pam tell Toby."

"Me and Pam?"

"Jim." He sighed and nodded slightly. "You know what, talk to her about the transfer and your promotion. We need to know by July 1, but I want you to know that we aren't going to offer the position to anyone else until we have your answer. No pressure."

"None at all. That just gives me a week and a half," he chuckled.

"Take your time, Jim. But remember; don't stay here just because of her. Things can be worked out. Transfers aren't the hardest things to arrange. Besides," she said, standing, "there's always a position in the Art Design Department that could be created."

Jim stood and shook her hand, "Thanks Jan. I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

"Thank you Jim."

They exited Michael's office and Jim returned to his desk. Jan made her way to reception and smiled warmly at Pam. "Tell Michael I'll be back later this afternoon to talk over the numbers from last month."

"Will do."

"Thanks you. And Pam?"

"Yes?"

Jan spoke in a gentle tone, one that many in the office had never heard, "Smile, honey."

Pam smiled and nodded, "Face of Dunder-Mifflin."

Jan shrugged, "That and you look so pretty when you smile."

Pam's smile broadened, "Thank you Jan." She continued smiling as Jan left the office and the door lock clicked. After a quick glance in Jim's direction, she looked back at her computer, hoping Jim would come to talk to her. She didn't want to become one of those girlfriends that needed to know everything that went on in his life, but when Jan Levinson is involved, it was inevitable. She looked up when Dwight left the office for lunch, and then Angela a few minutes later. She couldn't help but look over at Ryan. He gave her a look that conveyed he had seen them. She smiled at the thought she and Jim were acting like them.

When Jim leaned on her desk, her smile dropped, however. "Hey, you want to go get something to eat? Talk?" He whispered the last word, indicating it was important. She nodded and set the phone to forward. He held the door for her and pressed the button for the elevator, looking down at her the entire time. She was wringing her hands together in front of her and seemed terribly distracted by something. When the elevator doors closed, Pam grasped his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. She leaned against his side, resting her head against his shoulder.

Jim held the door open for her as they entered the small diner and he took her hand in his once they were seated. "Something bad happened, didn't it?"

"Why would you say that?"

"You and Jan talked for almost ten minutes and I only saw you smile maybe once. That can't be good."

"Pam, nothing is wrong." He rubbed small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. "Jan-well, she offered me a promotion."

"Really?"

"Yup. The only thing is, it's in New York."

The excitement in her eyes drained quickly. She pulled her hand away and placed it in her lap, looking away from him. "Are you taking it?"

"Maybe."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Maybe?"

"It depends on you. I won't leave you, I could never do that, but something Jan told me-well, you should know that you could come with me. Jan said there's a position for you if you want it."

"You told Jan about us?"

"She figured it out. But Pam, you heard what I said, right? You can come with me to New York. We could start a life together there." His own excitement was building. The thought of having Pam go with him to New York, having her be part of his life was something he was hoping she would be excited for as well.

"I can't."

At those words, two words he hoped he'd never hear from her again, he sat back and looked away from her. "Okay," he said quietly.

"Jim," she looked up to see him visibly upset. "It's not that I don't want you to take the promotion or that I don't' want to be with you, but I just can't leave Scranton. Not now. Besides, I'd be farther away from my mom and right now, that's not something I'm able to do."

He looked up at her, "Pam? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just; I can't go to New York. I love you, but I can't do that. We're here. We're together. Let's be that."

"Yeah," a small smile crept to his lips, "okay."

She smiled finally, leaning over the table to kiss him gently on the lips. As they pulled back, they heard a curt, "Hmm." Pam looked over to a booth near theirs.

"Please tell me that's not Angela."

Jim slid to the edge of his seat and turned to see her, "Hello Angela. Having a nice lunch?"

"Humph." She stood up and walked towards the door. Jim noticed she didn't pay for her meal, but said something to the hostess. He started to go after her, but Pam was already out of her seat and halfway to the door.

Pam grabbed Angela's wrist as she reached her. "Let go of me!"

"Wait, Angela, please don't say anything," she pleaded, both with her voice and her eyes.

"HR must be informed of your relationship. Now let go of me."

"Angela-"

"Hey Pam, look who I ran into paying for Angela's lunch," Jim called out.

Pam turned to see Jim walking towards them, his arm around Dwight's shoulder. "I so told you."

"I know. It's good to see you and I aren't the only ones not telling Toby about an interoffice relationship."

"We should tell him," Pam nodded, a smile pulling at her lips.

"Wait," Angela said quickly. "Maybe we could work something out."

Pam turned to her, interested. "Really?"

"We'll make a deal with you. You don't tell anyone about us and we won't tell anyone about you." Angela glanced nervously between Pam, Dwight and Jim.

"Promise?" Angela nodded. "Then we have a deal Angela."

"Thank you, Pam."

Once Dwight and Angela had made it to their respective cars, Pam and Jim laughed openly. "Oh my God! I can't believe that happened. We totally got them."

"We should definitely celebrate."

She nodded and smiled, but a sudden realization hit her and her face fell. "Oh, um, I have to go see my mom tonight. I promised her I would come see her this weekend."

"Oh, okay."

"It's just, there's something really important she and I have to talk about and I have to go there to do that. I hope you don't mind that I didn't tell you before now, but it's important. I haven't had a chance to go see her, but I really need to this weekend and-"

"Pam," he said, grasping her lightly on the arms, "it's okay, we'll celebrate when you get home."

"Okay."

When they got back to work, Dwight and Jim didn't say a single word to one another. Angela came to reception once and could barely look Pam in the eye as she asked her to fax some forms to New York. Pam left right at five, knowing the traffic would be insane if she didn't leave any earlier. She text Jim when she got to her car to tell him she'd call when she got there.

When eight o'clock rolled around, Jim couldn't help but pace his living room. He knew the drive to her mom's place was a two hour drive and she should be there by now, but he hated to call her if she were having a good time. Her mood the last couple days had been far from good and he hoped this little trip would be the little pick me up she needed.

He had just wrapped his hand around a beer in his fridge when he heard his cell ring. He read the caller id and smiled. He flipped it open quickly as he lifted it to his ear. "Hey hon."

"Jim Halpert?"

His face fell when he heard someone other than Pam on the line, "Yes."

"This is Joanna Beesly, Pam's mother."

"Hello Mrs. Beesly, what's going on? Is Pam there?"

"Jim, Pam was in a car accident tonight. I need you to come as soon as possible."

Frightening
def'n: several things, but mostly, for Jim: the thought of losing Pam

Jim rushed into the lobby of the hospital at exactly 9:30. He had driven 75 most of the way there, praying he wouldn't join Pam in a hospital bed of his own. He was still wearing his dress shirt from work, sans tie. He had his wrinkled dress pants on as well. They were lucky he had those on. He had nearly forgotten he was in his boxers as he reached his front door, but luckily remembered to pull on pants before going to meet Pam's mother for the first time.

She was standing with who Jim could only assume was Pam's doctor. He would have known her anywhere. He remembered her from the day she visited Pam at work. She was nodding at something the doctor had said. Her brow was scrunched in worry and he could tell she had been crying. He approached cautiously, fearing the worst.

"Oh Jim," she said as he reached her.

"How is she?"

She hugged him quickly, before they turned back to ht doctor. "Doctor Morris was just telling me."

"Well, Pam is going to be fine. We need to keep her here to monitor her progress tonight and possibly tomorrow. She has a concussion, bruised ribs, and a dislocated shoulder. All things that we've been able to take care of. The thing that's keeping her here, the thing that is the most serious is the miscarriage."

"Miscarriage?" Jim felt like he had been punched in the chest as he heard the word. He hadn't even known Pam was pregnant. Then it dawned on him. That's why she couldn't move. That's why she needed to go see her mom. That's why she had been distant the last week.

"Yes. Though it's a loss for both of you, I want you to know that we were able to take good care of her. It happened after she arrived here at the hospital. We were able to keep everything under control and she shouldn't have any trouble conceiving again."

Jim nodded, but the haze he was in refused to lift. It was Joanna's voice that snapped him out of it.

"You should go see her quick before visiting hours are over."

Jim looked between her and the doctor, who nodded slightly. "Are you sure? I'm not family, and you should go see her."

"Jim," she laid a trembling hand on his arm, "You are her family. You need to go see her. I can see her in the morning."

He nodded again-he was getting good at that. The doctor silently led Jim to her door, patting him on the back, "Visiting hours are almost over, but take your time, I won't kick you out."

"Thank you. Oh, and Doctor Morris?"

"Yes?"

"What am I supposed to say to her?"

"I'd say whatever is in your heart Mr. Halpert. Pam needs you more than she needs your words. Mrs. Beesly told me how close the two of you are and I think she needs you to be her friend right now more than her boyfriend."

Jim nodded yet again before pushing open the door and stepping silently into her room. He back was turned to him and he could see her shoulders rising and falling. She didn't seem to be crying, but he knew she either had been or would be very soon. "Pam?"

She rolled onto her back when she heard his voice, "Jim? What are you doing here?"

"Your mom called me." He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at her. There was a welt forming on her forehead and there was a small cut above her right eye that was held together with a single stitch. Her right arm was strapped to her chest and he knew it was the one that had been dislocated. He reached out and stroked her hair gently, leaning over to kiss her on the lips. She received the kiss, moving her left hand to his arm, rubbing it slightly.

"I should have told you."

"It's okay."

"No, I should have told you I was pregnant. I've known for a week, but I wanted to talk to my mom first. I was scared and then today when you were talking about moving to New York, I freaked out even more."

He moved the hand that wasn't in her hair to her hip, rubbing it over her abdomen tenderly. He was afraid he'd hurt her, but had to touch her there, it felt fitting. "It's okay." She moved her hand to his, holding it still for a moment, the tears welling in her eyes. When her bottom lip began quivering and her breathing became labored, he carefully lifted her up to lean against his body, wrapping his arms around her protectively.

When visiting hours ended, Doctor Morris pulled the door to Pam's room shut, leaving the couple alone. Though it was against hospital policy to allow visitors after ten, it was against his conscious to make Jim leave. He watched them for a moment; Pam crying and Jim rubbing small circles on her back. Perhaps an overnight visitor would be okay this once.

It was late Sunday night when Joanna Beesly ushered her daughter into her house. "Mom, I can still walk you know."

"Pamela, you just got out of the hospital, you are not going anywhere without me or Jim at your side."

"Yeah, Beesly, you can't get rid of us that easily," Jim laughed as he emerged from the kitchen. He was wiping his hands on a dishtowel as he walked towards her. He kissed her gently on the lips before she sat on the couch.

"Mom, please don't tell me Jim's doing your dishes."

"For your information, I'm making you and your mother dinner." He turned and strutted back to the kitchen, his head held high. This small act elicited a laugh from both Pam and her mother.

"Pam, he's wonderful," Joanna whispered. Pam smiled at her and leaned back into the soft cushions of the couch.

Jim had fed her dinner and done the dishes when her mother decided it was time for bed. "We'll get you two home tomorrow, but tonight, make yourselves comfortable. I love you," she said, kissing Pam on the forehead, "and I'll see you in the morning." She retreated to her first floor bedroom, leaving Jim and Pam cuddling on the couch.

Her shoulder was still sore, but she couldn't help showing him how grateful she was to have him. Pam rubbed her hand up and down on his chest, sighing deeply.

"You okay?" He asked, looking down at her.

She nodded into his chest. "Yeah, just tired."

"Well, we should get you in bed, but you have to show me where the extra blankets are so I can crash here."

She sat up next to him with a bemused look on her face. "Why would you sleep down here?"

"Um, Pam. Your mom is right over there in her room. I don't think we should be sleeping in the same bed."

"Jim, you knocked me up. I think my mother figured out the fact we're sleeping together." She spoke seriously, but couldn't help but laugh at her own words.

He smiled gently at her. He stood up and extended his hand to her, which she took graciously, standing next to him. He put his arm around her and led her to the stairs. Once they reached the top landing, she led him to her old room and to the bed. Her mom had panned for the night, laying a nightgown out for Pam to wear. Jim's bag was in the corner, he noticed. She kissed him gently on the lips before she stood and went to the door, the nightgown in hand. "I'll be right back."

When she returned from the bathroom he was sitting against the headboard in his boxers and a t-shirt. She turned off the light and closed the door. He reached out his arm and she lay down against him as he slid down to put his head on the pillow. He held her gently to his chest, listening to her steady breathing.

"What would you do if I ever left you?" she asked, resting her chin on his chest to look at him.

"Probably die, which would be counterproductive."

"Hmmm." She turned hr head so her cheek was pressed against his heart. "It would be, wouldn't it?"

He sighed lightly, wrapping his arms around her. "You wouldn't leave me though, would you?" He looked down at her finally, attempting to read her face before her words.

She was silent for a moment, staring up into his eyes. She had turned her face to his, but otherwise refused to move from his arms. "Never in a million years."

He smiled his "Jim smile" and she melted beneath his arms. Snuggling in tighter, she sighed deeply.

"I was so scared when your mom called. And then seeing you in the hospital. Even though they said you were fine, I just-" He could feel the tears coming on, but he fought back the urge to cry.

"I know, but I'm here with you now. I'm not going anywhere." She pushed herself up far enough to kiss him hard on the lips.

He moaned against her, pushing back up into her. He began moving beneath her and slowly turned her to her side. His hands moved up and down the silky material covering her back, turning her over. He laid half his body on top of hers, kissing her into the pillow.

Her hands were in his hair, but she grabbed into it harshly while she gasped in pain.

He pulled back quickly and rolled off of her. "Oh my God, Pam, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little sore still, that's all. It's okay."

He lay next to her, stroking her hair gently in a silent apology. He kissed her forehead before leaning his against hers. "I'm sorry."

"Really, I'm fine." She lowered her hand to her abdomen, rubbing it slightly.

His hand met hers and he held it there for a moment, leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips. "It's gonna be okay. Everything's going to be fine."

She kissed him before speaking, "Things happen. People loose babies all the time. We'll just have to practice a bunch for the next one."

"Next one?" He sounded shocked. His arm pulled from hers and he nearly shot up at her words. "Pam, are you serious? You really want a baby?"

"If it's with you, yes. I love you Jim. I didn't know I wanted a baby till I had lost mine. Ours. Our baby."

He turned on his side and propped himself up on his arm. There was light streaming in through the window from the streetlight on the corner. It caused her face to light up against the pillow. He reached over and stroked her cheek, smiling down at her. "You're sure?"

"I'm not saying we start working hard-core for a baby. I mean, I always thought I'd be married first-before I started trying, but honestly, if it were to happen, I'd be happy. Would you?"

"Yeah. I almost broke down in the middle of the hospital waiting room when I found out you'd lost a baby I never knew existed. It's just-" He lay back down and took her into his arms, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Let's just get you feeling better before we do any more baby talk."

She snuggled into him, "Sounds like a plan."

Emptiness
def'n: the feeling of losing their child (yet knowing that feeling could be erased was an unbelievably good feeling, one quite opposite of empty)

Her arms were strong around him as they embraced in the small coffee shop. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, something he wasn't used to. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she looked happy. That was something Jim needed after the last three weeks with Pam.

"What happened?"

"Well, how much time do you have?"

"Jim. Seriously, what's wrong? What happened with Pam?"

He took a sip of his iced tea and leaned back into the soft cushion of the chair he occupied. He cocked his head to the side and looked Karen over before he spoke, "You look good."

"Thank you. Now tell me what's going on."

"Well, Pam and I have been together for quite a while."

"About six months."

"Yeah, well, when Jan offered me a promotion in New York three weeks ago, I told Pam that I would only go if she did. She told me she couldn't go, but wouldn't say why. Then, that night, she was driving to her mom's and she was in a car accident."

"Oh, God, is she okay?" Karen leaned forward in her chair, placing her hand on his knee.

"Oh, yeah, she's fine." She pulled back and shifted in her seat. "It's just-huh." He ran a hand through his hair, "She was pregnant."

"Oh Jim, that's great!" She showed true enthusiasm, but her smile fell quickly when she saw that Jim's face hadn't shone a shade brighter at the comment.

"Um, operative word being she "was." She, um, lost the baby after the accident." He looked up to see Karen sitting back, her fingers resting against her lips as if she didn't know what to say. He knew the best thing to do would be continue with the story, tell her everything, "Well, when her mom and I got her home-to her mom's place-she seemed okay. She wasn't really all that upset. I mean, she was sad that she had lost the baby, but she was already talking about future children. Now, I was a little freaked out, but I went with it, thinking that she needed to talk that way to get over it, you know?" He paused and looked up. Karen was nodding slightly. "Well, I called in on Monday that week and told Michael that Pam had been in a car accident and I was picking her up from her mother's and bringing her home. Of course, we're not "dating" according to the office, but anyway, I brought her home and the minute she got back in her apartment she told me to go away. I hated leaving her alone, but I figured that's what she needed."

"Did it get better?"

"No, worse. She won't call me or return my calls. When I go over she's moping around on the couch and won't even look at me, let alone talk. Then, last week, I went over and she had this beautiful landscape she's been painting for months sitting on her easel. It had three big black streaks across it. It was like she didn't want it there and she had destroyed it. Not only that but there were a bunch of drawings she had been working on that she had torn up or scribbled out. Then, this is what made me call you, she told me last night to move to New York, take that position, and leave my key." He ran his hand through his hair again, "I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Well, it seems like the whole space thing isn't helping her. You have to talk to her about this."

"But she won't talk to me. I try, but she either walks away or tells me to get out."

"Well," Karen started as she leaned forward and set her glass on the table next to her, "You have to make her talk to you."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Listen, I know you're not one to get in someone's face, but this is the time when you need to. Just sit her down, look her in the eye, and tell her you're not leaving till she talks to you."

He shook his head, "I can't do that to her."

"You have to. It's not going to get any better until the two of you talk."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for almost fifteen minutes when Jim decided it was about time to get back to Pam. He hugged Karen, smiling when she pecked him on the cheek. "Don't wait six months to call me again Halpert."

"I won't. Thanks Karen."

As he drove back to Scranton, Jim couldn't get the thought that he was going to force Pam to talk to him out of his head. He wasn't used to being forceful with people, but he knew that it was the only way he was going to be able to help her. He stood outside her door, pondering exactly what he was about to do, but no real thoughts came to him. He was flying by the seat of his pants when he let himself into her apartment, with his key.

She was sitting on the couch watching TV when he shut the door. She didn't turn around, "I told you to leave your key."

He didn't respond to her. Instead, he walked around the couch to stand in front of her. He lifted the remote and turned off the TV quickly.

"I was watching that."

"Well, now you're not." He took the magazine she held in her hand causing her to look up at him in shock. "You're going to talk to me."

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"The one person who understands better than anyone what you're going through." He sat on the coffee table across from her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Now talk to me."

"I'm not going to talk about this."

"Why not?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Pam, you can't keep all this inside. You have to talk about it."

"Fuck you, Jim." She tried to move away from him, but he tightened his hands on her.

"You haven't done that in three weeks and it's been just as long sine you've talked to me. It's not healthy to keep all this inside. You have to talk about what happened or you're never going to get over it."

"I am over it. Now let go of me."

"Not until you talk to me."

"What, did you go see a shrink? Did they tell you it's not good for me to keep my emotions bottled up inside of me?"

He took a breath, contemplating her reaction to the words he was about to speak. Yelling was better than nothing, "Actually, I talked to Karen."

"What? You called her and told her about our problems?"

"No. I drove to New York and told her about our problems. You weren't talking to me so; I figured I'd talk to someone who'd talk back."

She struggled from his grasp and pushed herself up and away from the couch. She stood, fuming, in the middle of the room, looking down at him. When he stood up, she kept her eyes locked on him. "You want to know why I haven't talked to you about this?"

"Um, that would be nice."

"Fine. I don't want to talk about this because I want it to go away. It hurts me to know I lost something you wanted. Sure, I wanted the baby too, but I lost it. It was my fault and I can't stand to be around you because it reminds me that it was my fault. I know it's not a good answer, but I don't give a fuck anymore. I don't want to talk about it and I don't want you here."

"Pam-"

"No. You blame me for what happened and I hate myself for what happened and I wish you would just leave and move on."

"Pam, you're not making any sense. First, I don't blame you-"

"You must. It was my fault."

"Things like this can't be your fault, they happen. Now, second, I refuse to leave you."

"Why?" She looked away from him finally, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.

"Because I love you ore than I've ever loved anyone. I can't just walk out on you when you're hurting." He took a step towards her and she looked up at him.

"I haven't cried."

"What?"

"Not since that night in the hospital. I haven't been able to cry about what happened." She sniffled, wiping at her eyes.

"Would it make you feel better?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, maybe."

"Then cry."

She sobbed once and he quickly gathered her into his arms, holding him close to his chest. He could feel the sobs rack her body and the wetness on his chest from the tears. She tried to pull back from him at one point, but he refused to let her. Finally after three tries he let her.

"You don't want to hold me."

"What? Of course I do."

"No, I haven't showered in three days, I'm gross." She sniffled again. His arms were still around her and she had placed her hand on his cheek. The anger in her eyes was completely gone, replaced with sadness and love. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Then let's get you in the shower." He looked down in her eyes. They read confusion and slight apprehension. "Or, we don't have to. I'm sor-"

"No," she breathed out. She took his hand in hers and led him towards the bedroom. She stood facing him in her small bathroom holding their hands in between them. "I'm sorry. I should have talked to you about this."

"Shh," He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, "its okay."

He pulled her shirt over her head and allowed her to do the same for him. They peeled off other articles of clothing till they stood exposed to one another. Pam seemed more nervous than the first time they had seen each other. Jim pulled her into his arms and held her tight before going to the tub and turning on the water. She stepped into the steaming stream first and inhaled deeply at the warmth that covered her. He got in and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

He leaned down and kissed her neck, eliciting a small sound from her. He moved his hands to her hips, holding her against him, but still in the stream of water. "Feeling better?"

She nodded as he kissed her on the other side of her neck, moving his right hand across to her lower abdomen, "Felling better here?" She nodded again as he moved his lips to the other side of her neck again, and his hand up to her ribs, "Here?" Again a nod, again a kiss. He moved his left hand up her side and across her back to her right shoulder, "And, here?" She nodded as he ran his fingers across her back to hold her left shoulder against his chest. He then moved his right hand up from her ribs to her left breast, holding it as he spoke, "How about here?"

"Mmm, no, but it will be." She leaned her head back against his chest, taking in the heat from the water and his touch. She moved against him, causing him to loosen his grip slightly. She turned around in his arms placing her hands on his chest. She looked up into his eyes where she saw a reflection of what she knew her eyes showed: love, compassion, sadness, and pain. She slid a hand up his chest and neck and let it lay on his cheek, "Make love to me tonight?"

He nodded, leaned past her to turn off the water and then followed her out of the bathroom to her bedroom. They didn't take the time to dry off. Pam laid her slightly damp hair against the pillow and stared up into Jim's eyes. He hovered over her for a moment before leaning over to the nightstand. She grasped his wrist with her shaking hand and shook her head. "Not tonight. I don't want that, I just want you."

He nodded, "Okay."

Their movements were gentle and slow. There were no shrieks of pleasure or cries of names, just simple, pure love. They came together, something they had been hoping to perfect. Jim relaxed gently on top of her, careful not to put all of his weight on her. When he rolled to the side, he took her in his arms and held her tight to his chest, kissing her on the forehead. She rubbed her hand up and down his chest, matching her breathing to his. As they fell asleep in each others' arms, they each realized the words they hadn't spoken were just as strong as the ones they had.

Communication
def'n: something Jim and Pam got better at after Jim's trip to New York

Over the next two months, there were four days that Pam would never forget. The first was the day Ryan gave Jim his old desk back.

It was a small gesture. Ryan had arrived before everyone else and packed up the few personal items he had. When Pam walked in the door ten minutes later, she looked at him confused. "You planning on going somewhere?"

"Just right there," he said, pointing to Jim's desk. "Help me move Jim's crap?"

She smiled, putting her purse on her desk. It took all of her self restraint to keep from hugging the ex-temp. It had been long past a year since she was able to look up from her desk to see Jim smiling back at her, but now she could again do it every day.

The second was the day Ryan's "distractions from his previous desk" disappeared; he made his first solo sale. That wasn't what made it memorable, however. That was when Michael emerged from his office at 11:30.

"Okay everyone, your attention? Yeah, okay, now, at one o'clock today, we are going to have a little meeting in the conference room. And yes, Stanley, it is mandatory. See you then!" He quickly turned and went back into his office, leaving everyone looking at each other in confusion.

When they all filed into the conference room at one, there was a collective gasp. Across the wall were several pictures of the male and female anatomy, as well as enlarged pictures of the Kama Sutra. Pam bit her lip as she reached a chair in the back, finding a small pamphlet titled "What does SEX mean to you?" Jim sat down next to her, his eyes fixed on the front of the room, his jaw slack.

"The one day Toby takes a sick day and Michael decides we need a sex ed course."

"This is not going to be good," Pam responded, flipping open the pamphlet and choking back a laugh. "Oh, God." She leaned into him to get his attention, pointing out a list of links on Wikipedia.

"What?" He pried his eyes from the pictures in the front of the room to what she was showing him. "Oh my God, does that say hand job?"

"Yeah. I think Michael has officially given us a list of links to sex related topics on Wikipedia." She turned to look at him, "We have to take his internet privileges away again, don't we?"

He nodded before discreetly taking her hand in his and placing them out of view between them. They had been careful to always take back seats in meeting so they could steal glances and hold hands on the rare occasion Angela sat next to them. Today happened to be one of those days. She couldn't get far enough away from the photos in front of them.

"I can't believe Michael. This is beyond inappropriate."

Pam turned and opened her mouth to respond to Angela, but Michael cut her off. "Okay, legal people. Now, considering we are all consensual adults here, today we are having a seminar on sex. Now, hey hey hey," he continued, lifting his hands up to cut off those who tried to interrupt him. "We are all adults and can talk about this seriously."

"Why are we talking about it at all, Michael?" Phyllis asked.

"Because, Phyllis, as you may know, there are some people here that are having lots of sex," he gestured to himself, eliciting groans and shaking heads, "and there are others who haven't gotten any in a while so, I think it's time we talk about it a little titty bitty bitty bit."

"Michael, this is beyond inappropriate," Angela spoke up, her voice stern.

"Oh, pshh. You only say that cause you're not getting any."

"I'll have you know, Michael, I have a boyfriend who treats me very nice."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. So, let's get a couple of our less sexed - recently - employees up here to help me out. Pam? Jim?" He was excited, nearly giddy as he called their names.

"No Michael," Pam said, shaking her head.

"Oh, come on Pam. I just need you for one little itty bitty demo."

Pam looked up at Jim, eyes pleading. He shifted forward, "One demo, first inappropriate question/comment, whatever, we get to go back to work."

Michael eyed the couple for a moment, "Fine, whatever, just come up here."

Jim and Pam stood next to each other in front of their coworkers. Michael was off to the side, holding a piece of paper that seemed to have a rather long list on it. "Well, I had something else planned, but let's get started with the most, well, second most important thing in a relationship. Or so Jan tells me," he added under his breath. "Honesty!"

There was a loud groan from the group as Jim and Pam looked at each other nervously.

"Now, I've heard that the one thing a couple needs to do is be honest with each other and these two are going to show us how it's done!"

"Oh Lord," Pam breathed.

"Okay, I'll ask a question and then you'll each answer it. First question, what is your favorite thing about the other person?" Michael read off a sheet - probably from Wikipedia. He looked to Pam when neither answered, "Well?"

"Oh, um, well, I really like Jim's sense of humor."

"Pam's a really good artist."

"Okay," Michael looked between the two and improvised, "Your favorite physical attribute."

Pam looked up to Jim with wide eyes, "Jim has a really nice - um, he has nice eyes."

Jim stood silent for a moment, looked at Michael, and turned away when his boss indicated he should say Pam's chest. "Well, Pam has great hair."

"Okay, that is, just," Michael moved to stand in between them, waving his hands to stop the action of their little demonstration. "This isn't going - okay, um, new question. How many people have you had s- um, been with in the last oh say, five years?"

Pam didn't look at Jim as she answered, simply looking at the floor in front of her, "Two."

"Okay, good, good, Jim?"

Jim stared at a spot behind Angela's head, shifting back and forth on his feet, "Um, I think seven."

"Seven?" Pam looked up at him in shock, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, wow, good. Yay honesty, everyone. Now, okay, here's a good one, in the last year?"

"Two."

"Two."

"Oh. Damn," Michael said under his breath, "I thought that'd be more fun. Alrighty, how many serious relationships have you been in in the last five years?"

"What does ‘serious' mean?"

"Well, Jim, it means, well-"

"People you've loved," Phyllis piped up.

"Yes, well, no. No, yes. How many people have you been in love with over the last five years?"

Pam looked at Michael in disgust and then answered, "Just one."

"Really?"

"Yes, Jim. How about you? How many women have you been in love with in the last five years?"

"One, thank you very much."

"Good."

"Good."

They turned away from one another slightly, looking out over their co-workers. Everyone was either ignoring the action in the front of the room (Stanley and Creed) or were staring intensely at the couple (everyone else).

"Hmm. Interesting. Okay, who is the person you would most like to have a sexual relationship with in the office."

Jim's attention snapped to Michael, "Okay, that's the one. We get to go back to work now."

"Oh, Jim, what the, come on."

"No, Michael. We are not playing who would you do?" Pam crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "Jim's right, we get to go back to work unless you have an appropriate question to ask."

"Fine, God. Um, well," he looked over the sheet in his hand, "Okay, here we go, no. Oh, here, what is your sexual fantasy the other doesn't know about?"

"I'm out of here," Pam said quickly and walked out of the room.

"Sorry, Mike, I'm with her." Jim followed Pam out of the conference room.

They both sat at they're desks for the next fifteen minutes before Pam got up and stalked off to the kitchen. When she didn't come back in five minutes, Jim followed. She was standing by the sink, back against the counter. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she was staring at him as he stood across from her.

"Seven, Jim? Seriously?"

"Give or take."

"Give or take?!" she hissed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Who were they?"

"Jesus, Pam. Are you serious?"

"Yes, tell me."

"Fine. There was you, Karen, Katy, and then a couple others."

"A couple others?" She cocked her head at him, urging him to continue.

"Fine. There was Diana, Brenda, Sarah, and I think Julie was within the last five years."

"What the hell, Jim?"

"Well, you're the one who's only been in love with one person in the last five years. Gee, thanks."

"Yeah. I have been in love with only one person in the last five years."

"Well, I'm sure Roy would love to hear that."

"It's not Roy, you moron. It's you. I wasn't in love with Roy at the end. Sure, I loved him, but that's very different than being in love with someone."

"Oh." Jim looked down at the floor between them. He felt terrible that he had thought Pam didn't love him. He was surprised when she crossed the small space and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Pam?"

"You really are an idiot sometimes."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. I should have expected that you haven't just been with me in the last five years. You are a guy and that kind of thing should be expected."

"Expected?" He wrapped his arms around her, glad for a moment alone with her.

"Well, you know what I mean. If I hadn't been with Roy, my number might have been higher too."

"No it wouldn't have. But mine sure would have been a lot lower." He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, smiling at her.

"You know, this was our first real fight."

"Well, not our first-"

"Shut up. You know what comes after a fight."

"I am not having sex with you in the supply closet."

"Aww, but that's one of my sexual fantasies."

He pulled back from her and raised an eyebrow. "So, should I thank Michael for that little tidbit of information? I'm sure he'd love to know."

She pulled away from him and started towards the office, "And you have successfully killed the mood."

He laughed and followed her, praying he could spend the rest of the day not imagining them going at it in the supply room.

A month later, Pam stood silently in front of the sink again. This time, however, she was gripping the edge as if her life depended on it. She relaxed when she heard the door to the kitchen open, pretending she had been waiting for her water to heat. Not that she hadn't been, but she was far too preoccupied to care if her tea water was ready.

"So, Beesly, did you hear that Michael is going to be gone all next week?"

"Oh, hey, Jim, yeah, I heard that."

He stood next to her, pouring a cup of coffee. "You okay?"

"Um, yeah. Fine."

"Liar," he said as he turned his back to the counter and took a sip of his coffee. "Seriously, what's up?"

"Um," she looked around the kitchen to be sure no one could hear her before she whispered, "I'm late."

Jim spit the coffee he had just sipped into his mouth back into the cup and looked at the floor in front of him. "Um, like you had something to send somewhere by a certain time and you haven't done it yet?" He knew what she was talking about, but couldn't help but make her say it. He needed to hear it from her to know he wasn't losing it - not that he wouldn't either way.

"No. The other kind of late."

"So, are you?"

"I don't know. I haven't taken the test yet. I have one in my purse, but I'm paranoid to take it at work."

"Do you plan to? Take it here, I mean."

"Maybe. I wanted to wait, but I've been doing that for almost a week. I bring it to work thinking I'll do it at lunch and then I wimp out. Then I go home and I can't bring myself to take it out of my purse. God, I thought we agreed we'd be okay with this."

"Yeah, but I personally didn't think it'd happen so fast."

"Me either."

"So now what?" He turned and placed his cup on the counter before looking over at her.

"I guess I go and -" She stopped herself as Dwight entered the kitchen.

"Question: are you planning on working today or do I need to inform Michael you're messing around again?"

"Dwight, Jim and I are just talking. I'm sure you and - certain accountants talk at work every once in a while."

"Right." He turned and walked back out to the office.

"So, I have ten minutes left on my break. The test takes three."

He nodded and looked over at her. "You want me to stay here and wait?"

"No. Go back to work. I'll take my cell and let you know."

They walked back to their desks. Jim sat at his, pulling his cell out and placing it on top of some files he had to work on later, if he wasn't too distracted. Pam went to her desk, grabbed her purse and went back towards the kitchen. Dwight watched them both, but went back to reviewing his reports when Jim's phone rang.

Angela was in the bathroom when Pam got there. She nodded at her in the mirror and continued into the furthest stall from the door. She gently slid the box out of her purse and tore it open as quietly as possible. She dropped it, but retrieved it as fast as she could, hoping Angela hadn't seen it. When the door opened and closed, she knew she was alone for now and she hoped it would remain that way long enough for her to do what she needed to.

"Yes Mr. Ruther. Well, it looks like you ordered ten last time. Yes sir." Jim couldn't help but stare at his cell the entire time he was on his sales call. "I can wait, sir, that's fine." He was placed on hold and began to doodle plus and minus signs on the legal pad in front of him when this cell shook, indicated he had a new text message.

"Jim, you shouldn't have that on during work."

Before Jim could grab his phone, his client came back on line and asked him a question, "Well, no sir."

His cell shook again and Dwight reached out for it, "I'm taking this until you learn to turn it off at work."

Jim placed his hand over the receiver, "Dwight, give it back."

"No."

"Yes, Mr. Ruther, I'm here. Go ahead and read it to me." He reached out to Dwight and moved the mouthpiece, "Damn it Dwight."

"Why is Pam messaging you in the middle of the day?"

"Dwight, give me my phone."

Angela was standing by the copier, listening to the two men. Her body was turned slightly towards them, just like most of the rest of the office.

Dwight flipped open Jim's phone, "Negative? What does that mean, Jim? What are you up to?"

Jim turned his attention to the phone in his hands for a moment, "Mr. Ruther, I hate to do this to you, but could I call you back in a half an hour? Thanks." He hung up his phone and turned to look directly at Dwight. "Give - me - my - damn - phone."

"No. You shouldn't be using-"

"Dwight," Angela interjected, "Just give Jim his phone back. I'm sure he knows he shouldn't be using it at work."

Dwight looked at Angela and handed Jim's phone back to him. Jim shut it quickly and leaned back in his seat, looking towards Pam's desk. When he heard the kitchen door close, he turned to see Pam walking slowly towards him. Instead of going to her desk, however, she tapped quietly on Michael's office door.

"Michael?"

"Pamalama. What's the dealio?"

"I was hoping I could go home early. I'm not feeling well."

"Well, Pam. Just because you're not feeling well I can't send you home. Who's going to answer the phones if you leave?"

"Ryan could. Please Michael. I really just have to go home."

"Um-"

"It's women's problem's Michael."

"Oh, ugh, fine, get out of here." He sat back in his desk with a disgusted look on his face.

"Thank you. Good luck next week on your trip."

"Thanks Pam."

She went home that afternoon and cried until Jim arrived at her door at five-thirty. He held her in his arms on the couch for hours until she fell asleep. It was confusing for him to know what to do. She had been so worried at work when she thought she was pregnant again, but now she was upset that she wasn't. All he knew was that she needed to cry and that he needed to support her.

Support was what he did all Saturday as well. He made her breakfast and helped her do laundry. They barely spoke, but when they went to bed Saturday night, he knew there was something else she needed. "Pam?"

"Hmm?"

Her back was to him, but he continued, "Do you want me to not be here?"

"No."

"Okay."

"No," she said when he started to get up, "Stay. I don't want you to go."

"Okay."

They fell asleep that way, facing away from one another. Pam awoke in the middle of the night and glanced at the clock. The red numbers read 3:42. It was Sunday. She turned at looked at Jim, who was still sleeping soundly. She looked at him for a long time, breathing in and out quietly, hoping she could fall asleep again.

Pam couldn't sleep, however. She rolled over, away from Jim, and stared at the wall. The street light shone through the blinds, casting dancing shadows on the wall. As she lay there, she could hear Jim's steady breathing; deep breath in, quick breath out. He moved his legs and settled back into his pillow. She breathed out hard and slid to the edge of the bed, swinging her legs over gently. She stood quietly, looking over her shoulder to be sure she didn't wake him before she tip toed to the bathroom.

She closed the door most of the way before clicking on the light. She left the door open a crack, listening as Jim coughed quietly. She rested her hands on the edge of the sink and stared at her reflection. After studying every feature of her tired face, she stepped back from the counter and squatted in front of it. She opened the small door beneath the sink and pulled out the box she had stashed behind the extra rolls of toilet paper.

Instead of standing, she slid back and sat against the wall behind her. Jim coughed again, pulling her eyes away from the small box. She gently ripped open the end and pulled out the test, turning it in her hands as if she had never seen one before.

She had been sitting against the wall in her bathroom for an hour when she heard him. His bare feet padded towards the door, stopping for him to knock slightly. "Pam? Sweetie?" He pushed the door open and looked down at her. When he realized she had been crying, she hurried to kneel next to her. "Pam, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

She sniffled and lifted the test from the floor next to her. She didn't look up as she handed it to him. He took it and looked it over as she spoke, "That is a plus sign, right?"

"But the test you took Friday-"

"Was wrong."

"How do you know?" He was sitting cross-legged next to her. He held the test in his hands, staring at the little blue plus sign that stared back at him.

"Two out of three." She pointed in front of her where another positive test lay.

"So?"

"Are you mad?" She continued to stare at the test on the floor in front of her.

He didn't answer. Instead, he set the test he was holding next to him and turned to face her. He looked at her for a moment before reaching out and pulling her into his arms. She went willingly, pulling herself into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head against him.

"Never, Pam, never."

Memorable
def'n: getting Jim's looks back, talking about your sex life in front of your coworkers, a negative pregnancy test, a positive pregnancy test (or two)

They contemplated telling people. They didn't, really, but they had considered it. There were few people that needed to know, cared to know, knew enough to know.

They called the people they knew would die to know. It took them time, but two months into Pam's secret pregnancy, they finally spilled the beans.

"Mom?"

"Pam, honey, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong mom."

"Pam, you sound like there's something wrong. Please tell me what's wrong."

"Well, um, it seems like Jim has successfully knocked me up again."

"Pam!" Jim's voice got closer as he picked up the other phone, "Mrs. Beesly, I swear to you, it's not like that. We weren't planning it, it just kind of happened and-"

"Oh, Jim, don't worry. If anyone's going to help to make me a grandmother, I'm sure glad it's you."

"Oh, mom," Pam laughed. She didn't seem as discontent as she had when her mother first answered the phone. She knew that with her mother's blessing, everything would be all right. "We're glad to hear it, really."

Joanna Beesly seemed more excited than Jim and Pam, setting both of them at ease. Jim knew it wouldn't be as easy with his parents, seeing as they had never as much as met Pam. Now he had to make the call he had been dreading - not that he wasn't happy Pam was mothering his child, but his parents probably wouldn't be too thrilled.

"Mom?"

"Oh, hi Jim, how are you sweetheart?"

"Oh, good mom. How are you and dad?"

"What did you do?"

"Mom!"

"Well, I know you Jim. I know that when you ask about your father and me, you've done something bad."

"Mom, I haven't done anything bad."

"Well, what have you done? Knocked Pam up?"

Jim sat silent for a moment. A moment too long.

"Jim! You didn't."

"Well, dad always joked that us Halpert men were good at making the babies." He laughed a little, attempting to lighten the mood.

"James Maxwell Halpert."

"Yeah?"

"You had better marry that girl."

"I plan to mom."

"Well, good. So, when do I get to meet the mother of my first grandbaby?"

"Umm..."

"James."

"Soon, mom, soon. I promise."

They had made it through telling the parents. And after three slightly terrifying dinners, everyone was on the same page that they were happy about Jim and Pam and newest addition to the Beesly and Halpert clans. The next step would be a little trickier, however.

"So, I'm ten and a half weeks. How much longer do you think we can avoid telling people?"

Jim handed her a glass of iced tea and sat next her on the couch. When he slumped into the cushions she laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. He put his arm around her shoulders and rubbed his hand up and down on her arm.

"How much longer do you want to wait?"

"I don't know. Till the kid's twenty?"

He laughed and pulled her closer to him. "How bout we tell people we're together before we drop the bomb that you're pregnant?"

"That's a logical progression." She leaned against his side and rubbed a hand over her belly. She knew and accepted the fact they had to tell people about their new and growing family, however, she couldn't help but want to keep it to themselves for as long as possible.

Secrets
def'n: Jim and Pam's relationship and their bun in the oven

Gratification
def'n: pleasure or satisfaction

"God damn, son-of-a-bitch!"

Jim came running from Pam's bedroom to find her in the kitchen, refrigerator door ajar, skillet on the stove. "Pam? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not fucking okay. I want a fucking omelet and there aren't any God damned eggs in this place." She placed one hand on her forehead and the other on her hip as she turned around to look at him. She sniffled back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Pam, honey, it's okay. We can go out and get something on our way to work."

She shook her head and slid her hand down her face, resting it on her stomach. "No, I'm fine. I just - I'm three months pregnant and crazy as all hell. You need to ignore me."

"Never." He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. "I love you and our fetus. I'll never ignore you."

"Don't call our baby a fetus and I love you too." She smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She pressed her cheek against his chest as he rubbed circles on her back.

This was her favorite part of the day. Before they went to work and had to pretend to be something they weren't. Before they had to leave the safety of her home and venture into the world of lies and deceit they were being forced to live in. She loved the hours where they could just be them without the worry of judgment or resentment or any of the other things associated with lying to everyone for months. They could be Jim and Pam. They could be free to say "I love you," "I hate you;" whatever it was they needed to say. It was the part of her day she wished she could spend all day enjoying.

Once Pam decided a waffle would suffice, they kissed and made their way to work. Jim stopped at his place to get his bag, as he was now accustomed. They would arrive fifteen minutes apart if he did this and no one would suspect they had been no more than a few feet apart since six o'clock the night before.

"Morning Pam."

"Morning Jim. Guess who we get as a visitor today," she whispered.

"Catherine Zeta Jones?"

She laughed before her face grew solemn, "Todd "I'm a real asshole" Packer."

He groaned and made his way to his desk. "How long do you think it'll take him to make a gay joke to me today?"

She shrugged and looked to her computer. They all sat in silence until the door flung open at 10:30, Todd Packer on the other side. Pam looked up and feigned a smile. "Morning Todd."

"Well, look at you," Todd announced, taking a moment to lean over and look down Pam's shirt. "Those things look perkier than the last time a saw them."

Pam shrunk down in her chair and looked away, disgusted. Jim had turned in his chair and was watching the display, anger creeping up into his face.

"I could definitely use a piece of that," Todd continued, punching his fist towards Pam.

"Todd, leave her alone."

Todd turned and looked at Jim, "Hey, the queer wants me to leave the receptionist alone. Really, Halpert, how's your boyfriend?"

"Fine, Todd, how's yours?"

"Ha. You're a funny one, Halpert, just like that gay tie you have on."

"I bought him that tie," Pam said quietly behind them. Her head was down, looking at her desk and she had buttoned her cardigan all the way up to the top.

"What?"

Pam looked up, first at Jim and then at Todd. She felt a rush of courage hit her, "I said, I bought that tie."

"Oh, so the little queer has to have girls buy his clothes for him now?"

"I bought it for his birthday. And stop calling Jim gay."

"I'm just telling it like it is."

"Jim is not gay, Todd."

"Really? He sure seems a little faggy to me."

"Well, he's not. So STOP saying it." She was leaning forward now.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I am."

"Well, you can't possibly know from experience. I mean, you are far from being a guy with those things," he gestured to her chest, "Besides, there's no way Halpert could do you as well as, oh say, I could." He was leaning on her desk.

Pam felt another wave of courage and, though everyone in the office was watching the exchange, she stood up, placed her hands on her hips and spoke slowly, "I'll have you know, Mr. Packer, Jim Halpert is great in bed."

There was a collective silence in the room. Todd was taken aback at first, but recovered after a moment, "How would you know?"

Pam looked at Jim, who shrugged at her as he inched down in his chair. "Because, I'm sleeping with him."

There were some shocked looks and a couple gasps throughout the office. Michael quickly came to the rescue - sort of - from the doorway of his office, "Well, it's about time."

"Michael!"

"Oh, come on, Pam, it's been like forever."

"Michael, it's none of your business. And it's none of yours either," she said, turning to Todd. She saw Jim stand up and cross his arms across his chest.

"I think you should leave, Todd."

Todd spun around to look at Jim, "Why? Just because your bitch of a girlfriend said so?"

"Todd, you are the biggest ass-" Pam started, but suddenly threw her hand to her mouth and rushed out from behind her desk to the kitchen.

When she emerged from the women's bathroom, Jim was sitting at the table. She sat next to him and placed her hands in front of her. When he took one in his, she looked up, "Well, I guess we can stop wondering how to tell people we're together."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I can't believe I did that. How the hell am I supposed to go back out there?"

"Well, Michael took Todd out for an early lunch and I made him promise not to bring him back."

She smiled and looked down at their hands. Jim was rubbing small circles on her palm with his thumb. "We should go talk to Toby."

"Way ahead of you. I talked to him and he said when you were ready he'd have the paperwork ready."

She nodded.

"He said we could meet in the conference room. How about you go and I'll get-"

"No," she looked up at him and shook her head. "I'm not going out there alone after I announced to everyone we work with that we're having lots of sex."

"You said great sex before."

"Jim."

"Okay, fine. Stay here. Let me go get Toby and then we can go out there together."

"Thank you."

He lifted her hand to his lips, kissed it, and went to the annex to get Toby. When he returned, he took her hand in his and they walked to the conference room. Everyone watched as they went in and closed the door. Toby went to the window and shut the blinds to give them some privacy - as much as they could get given the situation.

"Okay, now, I understand you've been in a relationship for some time now?"

Pam nodded.

"And when did this relationship begin?" Toby wasn't looking up at them, but rather filling out the forms in front of him.

"January," Jim said quietly, as if her were embarrassed they had been hiding it that long.

"Wow," Toby said as he looked up at the two. "I thought Dwight and Angela held out telling me forever."

"What?" They asked together.

"They told me about three months ago. They said that if it hadn't been for you two catching them, they would have never said anything."

"You mean, they actually filled out the paperwork?" Pam sat forward, shocked.

"Yeah. Now, have things progressed at all in your relationship since January?" Toby asked, knowing the answer.

"Um, yeah," Pam said, looking down at the table in front of her. She looked up slightly when Toby slid the papers in front of her to sign.

"Just sign right there," he said quietly, pointing at a line.

"Toby," Pam said, looking over the form, "this is dated back in January."

"Yes it is."

"But its December."

Toby looked at Pam and then Jim before calmly explaining, "I plan to submit the change form and when Corporate comes back saying they don't have your relationship on record, I'll say it was misplaced and send them this. That way if anyone gets in trouble for you not registering you relationship with HR, it'll be me."

"But why?"

"Because you guys are my friends, Pam."

"Thank you Toby." She signed the papers and handed them to Jim. After he signed them, he passed them back to Toby and let out the breath he had been holding.

"Now, this one just needs the changes marked and signatures."

Pam looked over the form and checked the "progression of relationship" line. She noticed it was right above "termination of relationship." She shook her head and continued down the page until she saw the section at the bottom - the section intended for as much information as they were willing to give. She looked up at Jim, who had seen it as well. He nodded at her as she lifted the pen. She wrote silently before signing it and sliding it to Jim. He looked at her and smiled before signing it and passing it back to Toby.

Living together. Expecting first child in June.

"Congratulations," Toby said quietly before placing the papers in a folder and standing up. "If you have any more questions for me, feel free to ask."

"Thanks, Toby."

Procrastination
def'n: not informing anyone-including HR-that you're in a relationship until you're three months pregnant

Gratification
def'n: telling Michael Scott and Todd Packer off in the middle of the office-and then proceeding to inform everyone of your fantastic sex life

"So, I take it we have to move."

"What?" Pam asked as she lifted the grocery bags from her back seat. She handed one to Jim and then picked up the other, closing the door behind her.

"Well, you told Toby we're living together. If I'm not mistaken, I'm still paying rent for my place and you're paying rent for yours."

"Oh, yeah. I was meaning to talk to you about that."

"What's up?"

Pam unlocked her front door and walked to the kitchen to put own the bags before she responded, "I was just thinking that since we practically live together anyway and we're going to have a baby and all that, we should maybe live together."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, turning to face him.

Jim leaned against the counter by the sink, cocked his head and smiled, "Your place or mine?"

"You're not mad?"

"Why the hell would I be mad? I mean, sure, we've been together for less than a year, we're having a child out of wedlock, and now we'll be living in sin. Why would anyone be mad about that?"

"Ha ha. I'm serious."

"So am I. I want to live with you, Pam. I love you. Besides, there is no way we can afford two apartments and a baby. Those things get expensive," he noted, pointing at her stomach.

"Okay, so, I guess we just have to decide where we're going to live. Although, I think we can count this place out," she said, looking around.

"How come?"

"Too small. One bedroom and one bathroom for three people? It's insane. Besides, how the hell am I supposed to feed us and a baby with just one kitchen?"

He laughed and crossed the room, taking her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him to her. "Well, I would say my place, but those walls are paper thin and there's a new guy living next door." He paused when he heard a muffled ‘so?' "He's in a band. They practice twice a week."

"Ah."

"I highly doubt we'd get any sleep, let alone a newborn."

"When we have a newborn, we won't be getting any sleep."

"True, but I would like to sleep some in the next six months, so I guess we start looking for a new place."

She pulled back and smiled at him before leaning up to kiss him. He smiled against her lips and held her tight. She pulled back, looking up into his eyes. She smiled for a moment before moving from his arms, her face becoming solemn. "You put the groceries away, okay?"

He watched her retreat quickly towards the bedroom, "Okay, but what are you doing?"

"There are times I really hate your child."

"What-" he heard the bathroom door shut and then the sound of retching before he turned to the groceries, letting his next question die on his lips. He put her juice and his beer in the fridge. Laughing at how things had changed in the last few months - rather, how things hadn't. Their groceries hadn't changed much - except for Pam's newfound love for Key Lime Pie yogurt instead of Mixed Berry and the lack of anything resembling seafood - and he couldn't have it any other way.

When Pam reemerged fifteen minutes later, Jim was leaning against the counter sipping a beer. "Better?"

"You know, I cannot figure out why they call it ‘morning sickness' when it lasts all day. I mean, seriously. Take all the times I've ever thrown up in my life and add them together. That number wouldn't come close to the times I have in the last month." She plopped down on one of the bar stools and leaned forward on the counter to look at him.

Jim took another swig of his beer before crossing the kitchen and leaning on the counter across from her. "Well, even when you're pukey, I love you." As he moved forward to kiss her Pam moved back quickly, her hand shooting to her mouth.

"Oh my God, it's you."

"What?"

"It's you. It's your smell. Every time I get close to you I feel like I'm going to hurl."

"Well, that's just fantastic," he said, standing up straight.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." He made his way back to his beer and took a long swig. His back was to her, but she could tell he was terribly upset.

"Jim-" The phone cut her off and she reached to answer it. "Hello?"

"Pam?"

"Hey mom," Pam said, sitting back further into the chair, watching Jim's back.

"Pam, honey, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, mom."

"Are you sure? You sound upset."

"It's nothing mom. Really, don't worry about me."

"Pam, is Jim there?"

"Yeah, he's here." She looked up at Jim again. He turned when he heard himself mentioned. He leaned against the counter and smiled at her.

"Pam?"

"Mom, really, everything is fine. Jim and I are fine."

"Pam," her mother pressed on.

"Hey, mom, can you hold on a minute?"

"Sure."

Pam put the phone down on the counter and walked over to Jim, hoping the nausea wouldn't resurface. She placed her hands on his chest and slid them up to his face, holding his cheeks. "I love you James."

"I love you, too."

"I'm going to go talk to my mom. Can you make some dinner?"

"Sure. What do you want?"

She backed up to where she had left the phone on the counter and shrugged slightly, "Grilled cheese?"

"Absolutely."

Pam picked up the phone and made her way into the bedroom. She closed the door most of the way before she lifted the phone to her ear. "Hey, mom, sorry about that."

"It's fine sweetie. But are you?"

Pam sat down on the bed and crossed her legs, sighing, "Well, there's this one thing."

"What is it?"

"Did dad ever make you physically ill when you were pregnant with me or Emily?"

"Oh, I see. Yes, that he did. Just with you, though. Why, is Jim making you sick?"

"I think so. I was kissing him earlier and all of a sudden I had to throw up. I had been fine all day. But all last week I had the same problem. I kiss him before I go to take a shower in the morning and I proceed to feel terribly sick."

"Well, that's all pretty normal sweetie."

"But what am I supposed to do? Not get close to the father of my baby for six months?" She leaned back against the headboard and sighed.

"Well, with your father it was his shampoo. Maybe it's just a little thing about Jim that's making you sick."

"Maybe."

"Don't worry Pam. I'm sure it's nothing and it'll pass soon. I was only that way for about a month."

"Great."

"It's okay."

"Well, I if can't even kiss him, how the hell are we supposed to have s-" Pam paused. "I've said too much. Goodnight mom, I'll call you Friday after the ultrasound."

"Alright. I love you. Tell Jim hi for me."

"I will. Love you too." Pam shut off the phone and set it on the nightstand. After looking around the room, she made her way to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out Jim's things. She took a deep breath before opening his deodorant and sniffing it. Nothing. She went to his cologne next. Again, nothing. Then she picked up his aftershave and took a whiff. She had found it. She proceeded to throw up the small amount that was still in her stomach. She took the bottle and went out into the kitchen.

"Hey, dinner's about ready. I made soup too."

"Good. We're throwing this out." She opened the cabinet under the sink and tossed the bottle in the garbage can.

"Why?"

"Do you want me to continue throwing up every time I kiss you?"

"No."

"Then, we're throwing it away. I think it's what sets me off. We'll see tomorrow when you don't use any, but I think that was what it was."

He handed her the plates with the sandwiches before turning back to the soup. "Sounds good to me. We can go to the store tomorrow and find a kind that doesn't turn your stomach."

"Great."

Sickness
def'n: how Pam feels around Jim, as of late

Christmas was in two weeks and Pam hadn't even thought about what their plans would be. Jim had already told her that his parents had invited them over, but she wasn't sure.

"It's our first Christmas, Jim."

"I know. That's why I thought we could spend it with my mom and dad. We can go see your mom too if you want."

"To be honest, I just want to have our own Christmas. You and me. That's it."

"Well, my mom really wanted us to come, but maybe I could see if we could come sometime that week rather than on Christmas. Or maybe we could go see them on New Years. I mean, they're not that far away so, it's not like we never see them."

"Thank you."

"Hey, if you want Christmas to be about the two of us, then it'll be about the two of us."

After a slightly awkward Christmas party at work - Kelly gave Pam a naughty Mrs. Clause costume (probably from Victoria's Secret considering the fact it was totally see through) and Michael gave Jim a copy of the Kama Sutra - Jim and Pam were happy for the week off they were getting (Michael was going on vacation and figured everyone else should too). Pam flopped down on her couch and leaned against Jim. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. When she placed her hand on her stomach, she smiled.

"Do you realize that this time next year we'll have a baby to buy gifts for?"

"I know. I can't believe this is all happening so fast."

"Well, it took us long enough to get here." She craned her neck to look up at him. He didn't look back down at her, but at the small Christmas tree they had set in the corner of Pam's living room. The few gifts under the branches sat waiting for the time they would be opened and the lights twinkled slowly.

"That it did, but it sure was worth it."

"Mmhmm."

They settled on Christmas Eve dinner at Jim's parent's house where Pam met Jim's full family for the first time.

"Should I be worried about meeting your family?"

"No. Mom loves you, the rest will follow."

"How many is "the rest?""

"Well, tonight, I would say mom and dad, two brothers, sister, my aunt Grace, my cousin Jenny, my cousin Greg, his wife and their three kids, and us. So, what does that make, 12 and us - 14?"

"Oh my God," Pam breathed as she slid down in her seat.

Jim reached over and took her hand in his. "It's going to be fine, Pam. Don't worry about my family, they aren't that scary."

Jim's cousin Jenny was the one who opened the door, pulling Pam into a giant hug before they were even able to get inside. Larissa and Paul Halpert greeted their son and Pam in the same manner before Larissa and Jenny pulled Pam away for some girl talk.

"So, Pam, how are things going?"

"Um, fine?"

"Has Jim asked you any important questions yet?" Jenny asked, leaning in for the answer.

"Nope."

Larissa shook her head at the answer. "That boy."

"Mrs. Halpert - "

"Larissa."

"Larissa. Jim and I have had this talk a couple times and we've decided, well, I've decided, that getting married is a very big deal. I almost did that once." She looked down at her hand in her lap, "If it hadn't been for your son, I would have. And I would have made the biggest mistake of my life." She looked back up before she continued, "I want to marry your son very much, but right now, it's just not something I'm very interested in doing. Jim knows how I feel about him. I would marry him in an instant, but I need time."

"I guess it's a good thing he's willing to give it to you this time, huh?" Jenny asked, leaning back into her chair.

"Yeah." Pam nodded, but looked down at her hands again.

"Pam," Larissa said quietly, taking one of Pam's hands in her own. "I'm not saying you have to marry Jim tomorrow, but I want you to know that we would all love to have you in our family."

"I know."

"Jim's told us how much he loves you and I know all he wants is that little baby in his arms and you standing beside him."

"That's all I want too." Tears were forming in her eyes as she looked into the eyes of the one woman who knew Jim better than she did.

"Oh, honey, come here," Larissa said, pulling Pam into a loving embrace.

After dinner, Jim found Pam standing on the deck on the back of the house. She had her new winter coat on and her arms were wrapped around her body. Her curls stuck out from under her pick hat and he could see she was wearing her matching mittens. She leaned back into him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey."

"Hey. What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

"I like winter. Besides, the moon is so pretty on the snow."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder as he lowered his chin to hers. He moved his hands so that they lay on her stomach and he rubbed small circles.

"What do you say to an early Christmas present?"

"Mmm, that sounds pretty nice."

He unwrapped himself from her and took a place against the railing in front them. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her for a moment before he spoke. "Okay, this isn't what you may think it is. I'm not asking anything, but I'm promising something."

"Okay."

He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and held it out to her as she took off her mittens and shoved them in her pockets. She took the box out of his hand and looked at it before opening it slowly.

"Oh, Jim."

"Like I said, not a proposal, but a promise. I promise to give you as much time as you need and that I won't leave you. I love you, Pamela Beesly, and I want you to know that."

"Oh, Jim," she said again, quietly. She looked down at the ring again, tears filling her eyes, before she jumped into his arms, knocking him back slightly into the railing. He threw his arms around her and held her close.

"I gather you like it."

"It's beautiful." She pulled back and kissed him hard on the lips before moving away and handing him the box back gleefully. "Put it on for me?"

"Of course."

She extended her right hand to him bounced slightly as he took the ring from the box and slid it on her finger. She moved her hand so the ring shone in the porch light. Each of the small diamonds that surrounded the silver band collected and reflected the light perfectly. The larger round diamond in the middle was small, but to Pam, it was the perfect size. Even the small diamond hearts on either side of the middle stone looked perfect. She took a step forward and laid her hand on his chest, looking at the ring some more as he wrapped his arms around her and looked down at her face.

"I love you so much, Jim."

"And for that I'm glad."

She looked up at him and giggled. This Christmas was beginning to be the best she had ever had. It could only get better when they returned to the warmth of his childhood home. Jenny was the first to pick out the ring on Pam's finger.

"Oh my God, please tell me you like it!"

"Um, you knew?"

"Honey, everybody knew. Let me see." Jenny grabbed Pam's hand and looked at the ring on her finger. "James," she said, looking up at her cousin, "I thought you were getting that little three stone beauty."

"I thought this one was more Pam."

"It is," Pam smiled up at him before being rushed off to have more girl talk.

When they got home a couple hours later, after they had changed - Pam in sweat pants and a tank top (it allowed for her slight bump to show) and Jim in lounge pants and a t-shirt - they cuddled up in the large armchair Pam had in her living room. Jim had the remote in hand and was flipping through various Christmas programs when he landed on a movie that Pam had been talking about earlier in the day. She had explained that Borrowed Hearts was the only Christmas movie she was willing to watch - Roy had been fixated on A Christmas Story and her mother had loved It's a Wonderful Life (she couldn't stand either anymore). Pam snuggled in closer to him as he set down the remote and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.

When the movie was, Pam turned in Jim's lap so she could look at his face, "What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He pulled her close and kissed her gently.

"You want a present tonight?"

"Absolutely I do."

"Good." She got up off his lap and squatted in front of the Christmas tree. When she returned with a larger present, sitting in his lap, he smiled. He unwrapped it slowly and tears formed in his eyes as he turned the book over in his hands.

"Do you like it?"

"This is one of the best presents anyone could ever give me."

"I thought we could start it now, together."

"Absolutely." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him, the baby book sitting beside them in the chair. The calligraphy on the cover - "Halpert" - was obviously Pam's and nothing in the world made him happier. Once they broke their embrace, Pam showed him what she had done so far on the book - the name on the cover, a couple sonograms, and the family tree was filled out, including each member of their families.

"Your mom helped."

"Pam, this is the most amazing Christmas ever."

They slept in the next morning and enjoyed a breakfast from Dunkin Donuts before opening the rest of their gifts. Jim had also gotten Pam a new set of watercolors and a couple peasant blouses to cover her enlarging stomach at work. Pam gave Jim a new tie, a copy of Some Kind of Wonderful (the perfect 80s movie for them), and an autographed Phillies team photo. They snuggled on Pam's couch for most of the day, talking and watching various holiday movies on TV. It was possibly the best Christmas either of them had had for a long time.

Holiday
def'n: the perfect bonding opportunity

Pain
Def'n: the acutely unpleasant physical discomfort experienced by somebody who is violently struck, injured, or ill in certain ways; severe emotional or mental distress

Pam's morning had been spent curled up on the cold bathroom floor of her and Jim's apartment. She had already thrown up twice and she was praying the baby would calm down so she wouldn't do it for the third. She could hear Jim walking down the hall towards her. She looked up slightly when he appeared in the doorway.

"How you feeling?"

"Ugh." She let her head fop back down on to the folded towel she was using as a pillow.

"That good, huh?" He knelt down beside her and pushed some stray hairs away from her face. "I called Dr. Friedman and she said to keep you hydrated. I can give you a couple Tylenol for the fever and she said you'll need to try to eat something later if you feel up to it."

She nodded slightly, her lips turning up enough to count as a smile.

"Holy crap, little one, chill out for your mommy so she can sleep," he said, touching her stomach and feeling the slight flutter of their child. "Dr. Friedman said if you can get some sleep in, do it. Sleep and fluids. I'm gonna run to the store and get some Gatorade or something. Maybe some crackers for later and after that I ca help you-"

"Jim."

"Hmm?"

"I've had the flu before. I'll be okay."

"You sure, cause I could-"

"Yes. Go shopping; and while you're gone, pick up a stress relieving habit like smoking cause your stress level is beginning to piss me off."

"Um, okay." He stood and looked sown at her. She smiled up at him in reassurance. "Minimize stress, gotcha. I'll hurry at the store."

"I'm fine, really. Don't get in an accident or anything."

"Okay, I'll be back."

As Jim drove to the grocery store, he thought about how perfect his lie had become. All except one thing and he was hoping to remedy that when he got back home. He grabbed a few items he knew Pam would need for the next couple days, luckily avoided Kelly in the parking lot, and made it back to their place without getting pulled over for speeding.

After dropping the bags in the kitchen, he made his way to the bathroom, but Pam was no longer lying there. "Pam?" With no answer, he went towards the bedroom where he found her sitting on the edge of the bed. She was looking down at her little bump, holding it protectively. "Hey, you alright?"

She nodded and reached for him, "Come here."

He sat down next to her as she took his hand and placed it where hers had been.

"Oh my God, is that?"

"Yup."

"Oh man, it's kicking." A smile spread across his face as he felt his son or daughter kick for the first time. "Hey Pam?"

"Hmm?" She didn't look up at him, but kept her eyes on their hands.

"Marry me?"

Pam looked up at him quickly and her face fell. Her hand suddenly covered her mouth and she rushed out of the room. Only when Jim heard her in the bathroom did he understand her reaction. She had thrown up again. He asked her to marry him and she threw up - not a reaction he had hoped for. He sat on the edge of the bed looking at the floor when he heard her quietly coming back down the hall. When he looked up she was leaning against the doorframe.

"So, that's a no then?"

She sighed, "I wish I could tell you that was just the flu, but-"

"I get it Pam," he stood up and walked to the window, turning his back to her.

"I'm not sure you do."

"No, its fine, you don't want to get married. Whatever."

"Jim."

"No, really, I get it. We hide our relationship, our child. It all makes sense to me; you really don't want to be with me."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she asked quietly.

"He turned to look at her. "What?"

"You hear me. Listen," she said, sounding tired. "I'm going to go get something to drink, probably throw up again, some in here and lie down, and then we're going to talk about this." She turned and did exactly what she said she'd do.

She lay down on her side and waited for Jim to do the same. "It's not a no, Jim. I just need time. I know you don't want to hear that," she added when he shook his head slightly, "but you have to remember that a year and a half ago I was getting ready to marry Roy. I never thought then I'd be with you and pregnant. In fact, I never thought I'd get married after I broke it off with Roy. I wanted to be with you, but I never thought I'd be able to. Now I have you and I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. Look, things are fine. We have each other and now we have a baby coming. Can't we just stay this way for a while?"

"God, Pam, I just want to be with you."

"We are together. You have me. Now and forever. I'm just freaking out about the whole becoming a mother thing right now and I need time."

"Time sucks," he whispered, causing her to laugh.

"But time brought us together and it'll keep us together," she said quietly, lacing her fingers in his.

"Still sucks."

"I love you James Maxwell Halpert."

"I love you too."

They fell asleep together, holding hands until late the next day when the doorbell woke Pam from her slumber. She ran a hand through her hair, pecked Jim on the lips, and got up to go to the door. The bell rang out again as she made it into the living room. "I hear you! I'm coming!" There was something about someone ringing her doorbell on a Sunday morning that kind of pissed her off.

She looked through the peephole and a small smile crossed her face when she saw Jim's smiling cousin on the other side of the door. She opened the door and laughed as Jenny pulled her into a hug.

"Oh my God, Pam, you have no idea how excited I am right now."

"Um, maybe I would if I knew why you're here."

Jenny followed Pam into the living room after their friendly greeting. They sat down on the couch and Jenny turned to Pam. "Well, it looks like we might be able to have a double wedding!"

"What?" Jim came staggering out of the bedroom and flopped down in the armchair next to the couch. He ran a hand though his already mussed hair and looked at his overexcited cousin.

"Allen proposed!" Jenny shoved her left hand into Pam's face, bouncing on the couch. "Now maybe we could have a wedding, the four of us."

Pam suddenly felt the same feeling she had the night before when Jim asked her to marry him. She fought back the urge to throw up and smiled at Jenny. "Um, that's great. Could you excuse me for a minute?" She got up and walked quickly to the bathroom, where she emptied her stomach again.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine." Jim slouched down into the chair and rubbed his hands over his face. "Everything is fine."

"You sound so sincere," she commented sarcastically, sitting back on the couch. "What's going on?"

"Pam and I are not getting married."

"What!"

"Long story that I really don't feel like telling right now if that's quite alright with you, Jenny." Jim got up and went into the kitchen, leaving Jenny sitting quietly.

"Jesus Christ."

Jenny turned when she heard Pam coming from the bathroom. "You okay?"

"I would be if this fricking kid would chill out. My kidneys are taking one hell of a beating today."

"She's kicking already?"

"The baby is kicking, yes," Jim said, taking a swig of his beer and sitting back down in the chair.

"Jim, shouldn't you hold off on that for a while?"

"You know what, Jenny? Back off. You go and plan your special little wedding and leave us out of it." He took another swig of his beer, looking at Jenny coldly.

Pam saw Jenny's jaw drop and realized she had better step in. "Um, Jenny do you think we could meet for lunch or something later?"

"Sure."

Pam smiled and waited as Jenny left their apartment, giving a quiet and sad ‘goodbye' to them before she turned to Jim, "Don't take it out on her. If you're going to be pissed at someone, be pissed at me."

"I'm not going to be pissed at you."

"Right, well then, be pissed at yourself cause when I woke up this morning, the answer would have been yes. Now, not so much." She walked down the hall and slammed the bedroom door behind her. When she leaned up against the door she could feel the tears coming to her eyes. She had looked at Jim when she first woke up and known she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life and was prepared to say yes to him if he had asked her to marry him again. Now, she wasn't too sure. She didn't understand how he could get to be the way he was being that morning. This wasn't a side of Jim she had seen before and it bothered her. The Jim she knew and loved was different, simpler. This new Jim reminded her too much of Roy. Too much of the man she would never marry.

She slid down the door as the tears poured from her eyes. Things were getting difficult again and she wasn't sure she could handle it right now. She had to do something and she had to do it now, before things got more out of control in their relationship.

Pain
Def'n: the aftermath of Jim's proposal

Heartbroken
Def'n: intensely unhappy or disappointed because of something that has happened

Jim stared down at his beer bottle and lolled his head back against the back of the chair he was sitting in.

"Fuck!" he yelled as he threw the bottle into the dining room.  It shattered against the wall and he looked over to see the beer spreading across the wood floor.  He let out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair.  "What have I done?"

Jim couldn't hear Pam from his place in the living room, but she almost hoped he would hear her cries in the bedroom.  She was curled up in a ball on the floor, tears pouring from her eyes.  She knew she had to leave, but she couldn't bring herself to get up and do it.  Her life had become a soap opera and she couldn't shake the feeling that things were wrong, things weren't working like they should.  She closed her eyes, pushing more tears from them.  She could feel sleep overtaking her again and soon found herself succumbing to it.

She listened to the music she didn't pick while his mother added pins to the hairstyle she didn't want.  No, it wasn't that she didn't like it - it was pretty enough - but HE liked her hair down.  She wanted it left down.  The braids and the twist were all too much - and now she could feel the pins sticking into her scalp like needles.  She let a couple tears fall onto her cheeks while she looked in the mirror again.

She hated this dress.  It wasn't the one she had picked.  She thought she looked like a meringue with lace.  It was too big and too much.  She looked like a princess - not in a good way.  She wanted simple.  She didn't want this.  Her future mother-in-law was gone now and she stood in front of the mirror alone.  She looked down at the cascade bouquet and can't remember for the life of her how she came to have this one when she had picked a peony one before.

She glanced up when she heard the door open.  Shouldn't he be out front?  No.  That's the groom's place.  "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you before you go out there."  His voice was laid back and smooth as it always was.  He had on a nice suit, nicer than the ones he wore to work.  She smiled that he had left his hair slightly shaggy and unkempt like usual.

"Why?"  She hasn't turned around, but watches him approach her in the mirror.

"How can you go through with it?"  He shakes his at her slightly and though she wants to turn around, she's not sure she can face him.

"I don't."  She's getting confused.  She was never here.  She never even made it to the church.  She never even made it past the weekend after he told her he loved her.

"Yes you do.  That's why you're here.  You're marrying Roy, not me.  That's why you're here."

"No."  She shakes her head.  She didn't marry Roy.  She's marrying him.  She has to marry him.

"You're marrying Roy.  The man you want to be with.  The man you love.  You don't love me.  You won't marry me.  You don't want to be with me."  Jim's voice doesn't sound accusing, but defeated.

"No.  I don't marry Roy.  I don't belong with him.  I love you.  I want to marry you.  I want to be with you."  She has tears running over her cheeks, blurring her vision.  She can still see him standing there.  She waits for him to say something, but he doesn't.  "I made a mistake that night.  I should have never said I'd marry him.  I loved you then and I love you now.  You're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.  I want to marry you.  I want a family with you.  I want to grow old with you.  All I've ever really wanted was you."

"That's all I needed to hear."

She turns at the voice.  It's not his.  No, it's her own.  She's not looking into Jim's familiar eyes, but her own.  She stands before herself - this new Pam's a little worse for the wear, but finally knows what she wants - and knows that this old Pam - the one marrying the wrong man, wearing the wrong dress, with the wrong hairstyle, with the wrong bouquet - isn't her.  This new Pam is.  The one in love with Jim Halpert.  The one having his child.  The one that will marry him.  And that's when she hears it.  A slight tapping on the door and his voice, quiet and apologetic, and she knows she's finally making the right decision.

"Pam?"  He knocked again.  "Pam, baby, open the door please.  I'm sorry.  I'm an asshole.  Just please open the door so we can talk."

Pam stood from her position on the floor and, after wiping the tears from her cheeks, went to open the door.  She unlocked it, pulled it open slowly, and leaned against it.  She looked up at him, but didn't smile. 

"Pam-"

"Who was that this morning?  Hmm?  Was that the real you, cause if it was, then I'm leaving right now and not coming back," she spoke quietly and slowly, trying not to cry again.

"Pam, I honestly have no idea who that was.  That isn't me.  You know me."

"I thought I did, but this morning, the man out there?  That wasn't you.  If it were anyone, that was - that was not you."  She couldn't even say the name of the man she didn't marry. 

He looked back up at her and locked their eyes, "That man will never, ever come back, I swear.  I will never do that to you again.  I made a mistake.  A huge one."

"You know what I did this morning?"

"Hmm?"

"I woke up in the middle of the night and just looked at you.  I watched you sleep.  And then it hit me, things are different now.  I don't have to be ashamed that I love you.  I don't have to hide the fact that I want to be with you.  I don't have to worry about what people will think when I talk to you or touch you or spend time with you.  But see, that's the problem."  She turned and made her way to the bed, sitting on the edge and waiting for him to follow.  "I can barely remember the time before Roy.  Hell, I have a hard time remembering the time before I knew you.  None of that really matters.  Not really.  To me, all that really matters now is you, me, and the baby.  Truth is, that scares the shit out of me.  Jim, I don't know what I'm doing and you being this way is making it that much harder.  I just - I need you not be that way.  I need you to know that I love you and I want to marry you, but right now, I can't handle all of this."

"Pam-"

"I think I'm gonna go to my mom's for a while."  She hadn't looked at him since she sat down, but now she looked up to see his worried face.

"Pam, are you-"

"I'm not leaving you.  I'm just, I'm leaving this for a little while.  I'm gonna call into the office tomorrow and take a couple sick days.  I need some time away."  She stood up and made her way to the closet.

Jim just sat in his spot on the bed and looked at the floor.  He never imagined she's walk away from him like this, but in the back of his mind, he couldn't find one reason to blame her. 

Heartbroken
Def'n: Jim and Pam

Habit

Def'n:  an action or pattern of behavior that is repeated so often that it becomes typical of somebody, although he or she may be unaware of it

Habits have a tendency to follow someone.  Pam was quickly learning this.  She was sitting on her mother's couch twirling her ring on her finger.  Before she left their apartment, she made sure to put on the ring Jim had given her at Christmas.  Now she was staring off into space, wondering how so much could have gone wrong in such a short period of time.

"Pamela Louise Beesly, if you keep that up you'll wear a hole right through your finger," her mother said, coming in the room carrying a tray of tea.

Pam smiled and looked up at her mom.  "Nervous habit."

"Yes, well, maybe if you talk about it, it'll make it better."

"Oh, mom, I don't know."

"Pam, you need to talk about it.  Really, it's not going to get any better unless you do something other than stew over there."

"I just.  Hell, I don't know.  I just don't want to make the same mistake twice."  She held her cup of tea in between her hands and stared down into it. 

"This is about Roy, isn't it?"  Joanna sat quietly next to her daughter on the couch, holding her own cup of tea.  She watched Pam's face go through several emotions before she responded.

"No.  No, I mean, sure, it's a little about him.  I just, I feel like things are happening way too fast.  Jim and I have barely been together a year and now we're having a baby and we're living together and he wants to get married.  I just - I don't know if I can handle it.  I was with Roy for ten years.  Ten.  Now I've been with Jim for a year and we've progressed further in our relationship than I could really have ever seen me and Roy."

"Do you think that your relationship with Jim is wrong?"

"No," she paused, looked out across the room, and then back to her cup of tea.  "I don't think so," she said sounding unsure of herself.

"Pam, honey, think about how happy you are with Jim after a year and think about how unhappy you were with Roy after a year."

"I wasn't unhappy with Roy."

"You most certainly were.  I remember you coming home after a date in tears.  That is not happiness sweetie.  Ten years of unhappiness should warrant a year of undoubted joy."

"I can't do any of this without him," she whispered.

"You should call him then."

"No, I can't do that.  I told him I needed space.  I can't just call him and tell him I was wrong."

"You and your pride."

"Give it a rest, mother."

"Don't talk to your mother that way.  You are never too old or too pregnant to turn over my knee, young lady," she replied, getting up from the couch and leaving her daughter.  She stopped when she reached the kitchen.  Looking over at the phone on the wall, she knew there was only one person that could bring the younger Beesly woman out of her funk.  She dialed the number that had become familiar to her and waited three rings before anyone answered.

"Hello?" a winded Jim answered.

"Hi, Jim?  It's Joanna," she answered quietly, hoping Pam wouldn't overhear from the living room.

"Is something wrong?  Is Pam okay?  Did something happen to the baby?"  His voice became more frantic with each question.

"Oh, no, honey, everything is fine."

"Thank God.  I've been worried sick.  Pam hasn't called and she won't pick up her phone."

"Well, she does seem to be rather upset."  She paused when she heard a deep sigh from Jim.  "Listen, I know she says she wants time and to be alone and whatnot, but I think you should take a drive today, if you know what I mean."

"Really?  You think I should come there?"

"No, I didn't say that.  I just said maybe you should take a drive."  She almost laughed at herself, telling the father of her first grandchild such things, but she knew if she told him to come, Pam would be upset with her and she couldn't have that.  "She stays home all day."

"Thanks Joanna."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, call me mom.  You're giving me my first grandbaby, it's only right."

"Okay, mom, I'll do my best.  I should be there in a couple hours."

"Sounds good.  Bye Jim."

"Bye."

Joanna hung the phone back on the wall and made her way to the kitchen doorway.  She saw that Pam had laid down on the couch, propping her head up on the armrest.  Her shirt was pulled up over her stomach and she was rubbing small circles on the slightly swollen skin.

"Your mommy and daddy love you so much," Pam said in a quiet tone.  "We're having some problems right now, but that doesn't mean we don't love you.  You know, your mommy has wanted you for a long, long time.  No one knows how much she's wanted you.  She's wanted you ever since she met your daddy, yes she has.  You're all that matters to her right now.  And I bet if your daddy were here, he'd say the same thing."  She continued to rub her belly, smiling down at it.

Joanna pushed away from the wall and stepped back into the kitchen, hoping Jim drove fast.

Def'n: Constant cycle Jim and Pam seem to be in when it comes to happiness.

Proposal
Def'n: a suggestion or intention, especially one put forward formally or officially

Pam was lying on her side, sleeping soundly when the door bell rang.  She rubbed her eyes with her hand before calling out for her mother to answer the door.  When she heard no response from the older Beesly woman, she lifted herself off the couch and smoothed her shirt before making her way to the door.  She sighed before opening it to see a tired and concerned Jim on the other side.

"Jim?  What the hell are you doing here?"

"I couldn't stay away."

"Jim," she said, turning away from him and making her way back to the couch, "I told you I needed time."

"Yeah, I know, but I also know you're not very happy here."  He followed her into the living room and sat next to her on the couch.

"My mother called you, didn't she."

"Yeah, and I'm glad she did.  Listen, Pam, I can't sit by and watch you be so unhappy."  He reached out to take her hand, but she pulled it away and placed it over her stomach.

"Jim, look, I just want to be left alone so I can think."

Jim slid back into the couch a little more, crossing his arms over his chest, "Okay, I can understand that you need time, but I need you to understand that I don't want to not be with you while you're thinking."

"What?"  She turned towards him, looking at the stress and tiredness of his face.

"I want you to come home.  I don't care what you decide, if you decide anything, or if you want to lock me out of the bedroom and ignore me from there, but I can't be at home without you there.  I worry, Pam.  I mean, I know nothing is going to happen to you here, but I almost had a heart attack when your mother called me earlier today.  I was paranoid that something had happened to you or the baby and I wouldn't be able to get to you in time.  I can't handle that.  I love you two so damn much that the thought of losing you kills me."  He looked up at his girlfriend's tear stained face, his softening.  "I don't care if we get married now or ten years from now, but I want you to know you aren't getting rid of me and I plan on growing old with you and being there till one or both of us kick the bucket."

She laughed slightly through the tears, melting into his chest.  Jim wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer to him, burying his face in her hair.

"I love you, Pam.  I always have, and I always will, but you are the most stubborn person I have ever met."

"You and my mother both," she mumbled into his chest.  He smiled slightly at this, pulling her even closer and rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

When Joanna Beesly came down the stairs an hour later, she found her daughter curled up in Jim's side, both sleeping soundly.  She smiled to herself as she set a note saying she'd be back later on the coffee table and made her way to the front door.  She heard a quiet ‘thank you, mom' from Pam as she grabbed the door handle.  She smiled back at the two and left quietly, as not to disturb them.

Pam moved enough to look up at Jim when she heard the door shut.  She could tell the last couple days had been hard on him.  She had never seen him look so old - no, not old, but grown up.  The Jim she used to know was more childish than this Jim.  This was the kind of Jim she could see herself raising a family with.  The kind she wanted to grow old with.  The kind she wanted to marry.

She sat up then, just enough to press a deep kiss to his lips.  It took him a moment, but soon he was responding with his own kiss, while pulling her to him with the arm he had behind her.  They pulled away slightly, just leaving their foreheads touching.

"Hi."

"Hey," she whispered as she brought a hand up to his cheek.  She watched him for a moment before she spoke again, "How much do you want to marry me?"

He cocked his head.  "More than I've ever wanted anything.  All I want is you."

"Then marry me," she said quietly.

"What?"  He sat back from her, trying to gauge whether or not she was serious.

"Marry me."

"You are asking me to marry you?"

"No, I'm telling you to," she stated, peering over to him.

Jim quickly closed the space between them, kissing her hard as he laid her back on the couch.  Jim propped himself up over her and brushed a piece of hair away from her forehead before leaning down and kissing her again.  He stopped only when he felt her push lightly on his chest.

"Jim."

"Hmm?"

"If you ever act like you did the other day, I'm taking the baby and leaving, you understand, right?  I can't live like that," she said seriously.  She looked directly in his eyes as she spoke, keeping her hand on his chest.

"You'll never have to live like that.  I swear."

She smiled and leaned up for a kiss, Jim agreeing quickly.  He pulled away again when Pam pressed against his chest for a second time.

"What now?"

"Where's my ring, Halpert?"

He laughed, "You asked me, Beesly.  I think you owe me a ring."

"Fine then," she said, pushing past him and making her way to the front door, "You get to stay at a hotel tonight."

"What?!"

"What?" she asked innocently.  "A girl needs a ring.  Besides, you asked me first."

He got up and went through the messenger bag that he'd put on the floor.  He wrapped his hand around a small velvet box.  He turned around, getting down on one knee, and opening the box in front of her.  "Pamela Louise Beesly, will you marry me?"

"Absolutely I will," she laughed.

"Good," he stood up, lifting her in the process and twirling her around the living room.

"Put me down!"

He set her back on her feet and backed away, taking the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her finger.  She looked down at the white gold and diamond ring.  Smiling, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I'm sorry about everything."

"Don't you dare apologize.  I shouldn't have pressured you."

"But, Jim-"

He cut her off with a chaste kiss.  "Shut up and kiss me, Halpert," he said, stressing the last name they would soon share.

"I like the sound of that: Halpert."

Joanna came back a few hours later, pushing the door open quietly.  She could see Jim's head resting on the back of the couch and as she got closer, Pam's head lying in his lap.  Their left hands were intertwined over her belly and Pam's ring shone in between his fingers.  Joanna smiled to herself before making her way back upstairs.  Sometimes it paid to meddle in your daughter's personal life.

Def'n: Pam telling Jim to marry her.

Six skirts, four shirts, and two pairs of pants lay in a crumpled pile on the bedroom floor. Jim stepped over them towards the bathroom. He glanced at Pam, who was looking at herself in the full-length mirror, before continuing into the bathroom door.

"Jim!"

"Yes?" He came back into the bedroom, sliding his tie under his collar.

"Nothing fucking fits." She threw another pair of pants on top of the pile. "I'm so fat nothing fits me anymore. Pretty sure we're gonna have to say something soon."

Jim began tying his tie, walking up behind her. She was standing there in a cute light blue panty and bra set and it made him smile. Even when she was upset, the way she had her hands on her hips and the way she pouted made him want to ravish her before work. He wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands over the bump that was really starting to swell. She linked her hands with his, a small smile pulling at her lips.

"You could always go to work like this," he joked as he was met with a disappointed look from Pam. "Well, you could, but I would have one hell of a hard time keeping my hands off of you."

"I have enough of that problem without you having it, too."

"I've been meaning to ask you where this horny soon-to-be Mrs. Halpert came from. Not that I don't like her, but my back can only take so much."

She slapped his hands away and walked back towards the closet. "It's the hormone imbalance. It's normal. Besides, I've only been this way for like a week."

"Well," Jim said as he went to sit on the edge of the bed, "Do you have any idea how long it'll last?"

She turned to see his wagging eyebrows. "You are incorrigible."

"I try. Hey, did you try that bag in the back of the closet?"

"What bag?" She asked as she reached further back, pulling out a yellow gift bag adorned with a baby chick. "What's this?" She asked, turning around to look at him.

"A present."

"For me?" she asked, her face brightening when he nodded. She bounced over to the bed, flopping down next to him before digging into the bright tissue paper. She pulled out an orchid dress that tied in the back, a pair of black maternity dress pants, and a red baby-doll cardigan. "Oh, Jim, these are great."

"Hopefully they fit okay and cover what you want them too. Jenny helped me pick them out so you can yell at her if you don't like them."

She flung herself into his arms, hugging him tightly, "You are the best." She kissed his cheek before whispering, "If we didn't have to go to work, you'd so get laid right now." She kissed him once more before running to change. Jim laughed after her, obviously not amused, and lay back against the mattress with a thump.

Jim and Pam shot glances at each other throughout the day. A wink here, a licking, biting of a lip there. Jim was loving this new side of Pam, but he also knew something was bothering her. He watched her as she quietly made her way to the break room during her morning break, pulling at the sweater slightly so it fell away from her body. He wished there was something he could do to make her more comfortable about the baby, but he also knew he had to let her handle it herself. He refused to pusher her [away] again.

Pam played with the long chain around her neck that held her engagement ring from Jim. She had insisted that they keep it from everyone as long as they could, just to keep their private life a bit more private, but she couldn't help play with the chain. She saw Toby staring at the vending machine when she reached the break room and dropped her hand from her neck.

"Hey, Toby?" Pam wrung her hands as she leaned against the vending machine.

"Hey, Pam, what's up?"

"Um, I actually have a really personal question to ask you."

Toby looked around the break room, leaning towards her slightly, "Does it have to do with Jim?"

"No-sort of-no." Her eyes never met his, but she could tell he was concerned by the way his voice changed. "It's just, well, as I'm sure you know, there are certain things I can't go without telling everyone, at least not for much longer." She rested her hands on her stomach as she talked.

"Oh."

"Yeah," she looked up before she continued, "So, I was wondering if there was any advice you could give me as an HR person? You know, like, how's the best way to tell everyone?"

"Well, it's completely up to you but you could call together a meeting of the entire office, or you could just let a couple people know and let it spread that way, otherwise, you could always let people find out naturally."

She sighed.

"Pam, have you talked to Jim about this?"

"Yeah, he said it was my decision when and how I wanted to tell people. It affects me more than him, but I wish he could just do it for me."

"I'd talk to him again. He's a creative person, I'm sure he'd come up with something great." He took a step forward so he could place a hand on her shoulder, "Whatever you decide, know that I'm really happy for the two of you."

"Thanks Toby. Oh, and Toby," she said, playing with her left hand ring finger, as he started to leave, "We need to update our relationship form again." Her smile lit up the room as Toby nodded.

"Congrats, Pam."

"Thanks."

He walked past her back to the annex, and she noticed he never did get what he had gone in there to get. The money had been placed in the machine so she hit the button for a Snickers, knowing he liked those. She stopped a moment and looked over the machine, noticing the Baby Ruth candy bars, smiling at the word "baby." She walked to the door of the annex, pushed it open and tossed the candy bar on his desk. He looked up from the pile of papers he was working on and smiled at her. She smiled quickly before turning and heading back to her desk.

When Jim saw her return from the break room, he automatically rose from his chair and made his way to the reception desk. "Hey."

"Hey." She looked up at him happily, "I think I know how to tell everyone."

"Really?" He grabbed a couple jelly beans to lean in towards her without being too obvious they were keeping secrets.

She nodded and clicked on something on her computer, turning the screen away from him. "Hmm, I don't know if I should tell you though. Maybe it should be a surprise for you too."

"That's below the belt," he said, mocking hurt.

"That's what she said."

They both laughed, drawing the attention of Dwight and Ryan. She turned the computer screen to him when their laughter subsided. Dwight and Ryan had gone back to their work, not without dirty looks, and were ignoring the happenings at the reception desk when he saw her idea.

"Oh my God. That is genius."

"I know." She clicked on the guest list and began typing in names. She looked up at him when she finished typing Darryl's. "Do you think we should tell him?"

"Roy isn't the smartest guy in the world, but I think when you leave for a couple months and come back with a baby he'll figure it out," he whispered, slightly relieved she asked.

She nodded and typed his name. In the subject line she typed, "Beesly-Halpert baby shower," smiling the entire time. "Um, let's see, I'm due in June so, Saturday May 19th sound good?"

"Consider it penciled in."

She went back to typing. She found a cute picture of yellow baby booties and completed the invitations by filling in the "invited by" space. She was beaming as she typed in, "Proud (soon-to-be) parents, Jim and Pam." She looked up at Jim before she sent the e-vites. He smiled down at her and returned to his desk to await the uproar that would be their office in a matter of minutes.

Within five minutes, emails were being checked. Gasps and pencils dropping were a good sign that people were receiving their invitation, and the news about the baby. Jim looked over at Pam and did an air high five. Jim's attention was drawn to Ryan as he spit his coffee back into his mug. He looked at Jim over his monitor and shook his head slowly as if asking for it to be a joke. Jim shrugged an apology, just as Kelly came bounding into the office.

"Oh my God, Pam! You're pregnant! That is so totally cool! Isn't it cool, Ryan? Oh my God..."

Jim couldn't help but see Pam ignoring Kelly and looking over to him. He smiled at her as she sighed. Everything was changing again, but Jim couldn't wait.

Secret
Def'n: Something Jim and Pam have one less of (Yay for baby shower e-vites!)

May 19th arrived in fashion in the Beesly-Halpert home. 

“Jim!”

He made his way back into the bedroom to find Pam leaning back on the bed, a sandal in her hand.  She wore a knee-length fuchsia sundress, her engagement ring dangling from a chain around her neck.  She pouted her lips and held out the sandal to him as he came through the door.  He couldn’t help but laugh at her childlike appearance.

“I can’t reach,” she said quietly.

He kneeled down in front of her and took the shoe from her hand.  He lifted her foot and placed a kiss to the top of it before sliding the shoe in place.  He did the same with the other foot before helping her to her feet and engulfing her in a hug.  He kissed her forehead before leaning his against it.  “You ready for today?”

“Ha, you’re kidding, right?  Kelly, Michael, and Roy all in our house at the same time celebrating our child?  Oh, I can’t wait”

“It’s going to be fine.  My mom is just finishing up the decorations and your mom is putting together the food.  We have nothing to worry about.”

“If our moms are finishing things up, does that mean we have a few minutes?”

“Yeah, why?” he asked, pulling away and smirking at her.

Without answering, she pulled him down into a kiss that he happily received.  He wrapped his arms around her as far as he could and ran his hands up and down her back.  She played with the hair at the back of his neck, causing him to smile into the kiss.  They only broke away when they heard a voice at the doorway.

“And that’s what lead to a baby shower today.”

“Shut up, Jenny,” Pam said as she rested her forehead against Jim’s again.  She shifted slightly to look at her future cousin and gave her a sly smile before recapturing Jim’s lips.

“You guys suck.  Listen, when you’re done making out or having sex or whatever it is you plan on doing, we’re basically ready for you out here.”

“Thank you Jennifer,” Jim said wryly as he pulled away from Pam again.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”  She turned and made her way back towards the living room.

“Hey, Pam?”  Jim said as he made his way over to the dresser to grab his watch.

“Yeah?”  She folded her hands on top of her belly and turned to him, smiling slightly.

“I love you.”

“We love you, too, papa.”

“Well, hot mama,” he did his best Elvis impression, while wrapping his arm around her back, “let’s get this party started.”  He received a laugh and a smile as Pam wrapped an arm around his back and left the other over the kicking bulge. 

Pam sat in the rocking chair that was currently in the corner of their living room watching her family – she liked the sound of that – finish setting up for the shower.  Jim had already banished her from helping and she was enjoying watching him interact with his mother, cousin, and her mother.  She started to get up when she heard the doorbell ring, but immediately sat back when Jim came into the room and glared at her.

“No way, Beesly, you’re sitting right there,” he said as he made his way to the front door, opening it to reveal the one person they were both concerned about inviting.

“Halpert.”

“Hey, Roy, glad you could make it.  And Katy, long time no see.”

“Hi, Jim.  It’s nice to see you.”  She removed her hand from Roy’s and gave Jim a small hug.  “Roy can’t believe guys are invited and dragged me along, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Nah, what’s one more ex, right?” He said offhandedly, moving out of their way and motioning for them to enter the apartment.

Pam pushed herself out of the rocking chair and walked towards their guests, giving a small nervous smile to her and Jim’s exes.  “Roy, Katy.”

“Hello, Roy, it’s good to see you,” Pam’s mom said, giving the man a hug.

“It’s good to see you again Joanna.  How are things?”

“Good, good.  Just getting ready for the new additions to the family.”  She smiled over at her daughter and Jim, who had come to wrap an arm around Pam.

“Additions?”  Katy asked, turning towards the couple.  “Should we have bought two of our gift?”

“No, no, no,” Pam said, waving her hand.  “Jim and I are getting married.”

“Oh,” both Katy and Roy looked down.  Pam noticed Roy’s lips pursed.  She knew he was angry about the news they had presented.  She wanted to say something, but she knew it would only cause more problems, so she decided to let it go, for now.

The doorbell rang again and Jim opened the door to reveal a very distraught looking Karen.  “Oh, God, Jim, I thought I’d never make it.”

“What happened?” he asked as he led her into the apartment.

“First there was a traffic jam in the city, then there was a pile up on the highway, and then I almost got hit by a guy running a red a couple blocks from here.  I’m so sorry, Pam,” Karen said as she hugged her.

“It’s okay, Karen.  I told you, you didn’t have to come early.”  Pam was surprised by how supportive Karen had been over the last few months.  She had called Pam the day they sent out the invitations for the shower to congratulate the couple and ended up talking for hours about anything and everything.  Karen had admitted she was sad that things hadn’t worked out with Jim, but was glad that he was happy with Pam.  

They all stood in an uncomfortable silence before Karen turned to Katy, “Hi, I’m Karen.  I used to work with Jim and Pam.”

“I’m Katy.  I used to date Jim.”

“Oh!  I guess we have something in common then.”  She looked at Jim who looked between Katy and Karen.

Silence overtook the group again, but soon the doorbell rang, making all of them jump.  “Well, there’s the door.  We should get that, right Jim?”

“Right.”  He and Pam went to the door and looked at each other quickly.  “It can’t get any worse.”

She nodded as he opened the door.

“Oh my God, Pam, you look so pretty and huge, but you’re pregnant so, I guess you being big is normal, but look at you.  Ryan couldn’t come, he was sick, but we picked out the present together and he said he was happy for you and oh my God, Pam, look at how cute this paper is.  I know you said you don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy, but this pink paper was just so cute.  Isn’t it so cute?”

“Sure is, Kelly, why don’t you head inside.”

“Oh, hi Jim.  You know, I can’t believe you have guys here.  Baby showers are supposed to be all girls so we can talk about girl stuff,” Kelly continued as she came in the door.

“Well, Pam and I like to do things differently.”  He looked down at Pam, raising his eyebrows.  “So I was wrong, sue me.”

By the time everyone had arrived – Michael and Jan showed up next (not without unnecessary jokes about sex from Michael), then Stanley and Terri (Pam thinks it was the first time he’d hugged her in all the time they worked together), then Angela and Dwight (Angela was actually civil and only mentioned their lack of wedding vows once), then Phyllis and Bob Vance (Phyllis seemed more excited than Pam and Jim combined), then Toby (he made a point of avoiding Michael, but also mentioned he couldn’t stay long), and finally Oscar and Gil (they apologized profusely for being late, but no one had really noticed due to the insanity that was their apartment) – Pam was about ready to disappear.  Jim had noticed and gently took her hand, leading her towards the bedroom.  Only his mother noticed and she nodded to Jim when he glanced back at her with pleading eyes.

“This was a bad idea,” Pam said as Jim closed the door and helped her onto the bed.

“Hey,” he said as he lay next to her and rubbed the large bump their child caused, “today is going to go fine.  Besides, do you really want our first child to not have a baby shower?”

“First child?”  She turned her head to look at him, a smile playing on her lips.

“Oh yeah.  I see many children in our future.”  He continued to rub her belly, but turned on his side, propping his head up with his free hand.

“Really, cause I see lots of practice,” she responded in a quiet, sultry tone.  She placed her hand over his and brought it over her stomach and up her side.  She left his hand there, bringing the same hand up to the side of his neck and bringing his lips down to hers.

Jim moved forward to kiss her, leaving his hand on the side of her breast.  He moved his other hand to play with the curls she had spent hours on that morning.  He wished they could simply send everyone home now so he could spend the day in bed with Pam, but he knew everyone would notice they were missing eventually.

There was a gentle knock on the door, forcing Jim to pull away from Pam.  She sighed lightly as they both looked towards the door.  Larissa entered the room quietly.

“Jim, sweetie, everyone is getting antsy and I can only listen to one more of your boss’ jokes before I go crazy.”

 “Okay, mom, we’re coming.”

“Actually, I was hoping I could talk to Pam for a moment.”  She watched as her son gently helped Pam up to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Okay.”  He kissed Pam once more before leaving his mom and fiancé alone, shutting the door behind him.

“Hey, Larissa, what’s up?” Pam asked as Jim’s mom sat next to her on the bed.

“Well, for starters, I’d love it if you’d call me mom.  You don’t have to, but I would like you to know I think of you as a daughter already.”

“Really?” Pam asked, tearing up slightly.  Larissa simply nodded and smiled at her soon to be daughter-in-law.  “Wow!  I mean, I know Roy’s mom always told me to call her mom, but it never seemed quite right, not like this.”  She leaned over and hugged the older woman, laughing when the baby kicked happily.

“Also,” Larissa continued as she pulled away from Pam, “I just wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“Well, this will sound terribly cliché, but I wanted to thank you for making my son so happy.  I’ve never seen him as happy as he is right now.  Even when he comes over and is complaining about having to run to the store at two in the morning or how he can’t take your mood swings, he has this smile on his face that I don’t think anything could wipe away.”

Tears ran down Pam’s cheeks again, happy tears.  “I’m just glad we finally were able to admit our feelings and get together.  I’ve loved your son for years and I was too scared to tell him.  It might have taken years, but I’m so happy we’re together now.  He’s made me happier than I could have ever imagined.”

“Alright,” Larissa said as she hugged Pam once more, “now that this has gone completely Hallmark, what do you say we head back out there and open some presents?”

“Sure.”  Pam wiped away the remaining tears before Larissa helped her up from the bed. 

Pam returned to the living room and took her seat next to Jim on the loveseat.  Larissa took a spot near Joanna and Jenny on the other side of the room, where they watched the coworkers interact.  Jim and Pam quickly opened their presents, thanking everyone as they went. 

By the time the presents had been opened, games had been played, and cake had been served, Pam was falling asleep standing.  She was just saying goodbye to Kelly when two strong arms encircled her from behind, hands resting on her stomach.  She laid her hands over his, smiling at his embrace.

“We’ll see you on Monday, Kelly,” Jim said, nodding for her to leave.

“Oh, well, yeah, you guys have a good weekend and, oh my God, Pam, it was so much fun.”

“Mmhmm.  Thanks for coming, Kelly.”  She reached out and closed the door before Kelly could say anything else and then turned in Jim’s arms to face him.  “Hmm, I am so tired.”

“Well, we should get you to bed then.”  He leaned down and kissed her forehead, causing her to smile.

“But there’s so much to do.”

“Yeah, and that is why we have our mothers, Jenny, and Karen.”

“I love the way you think,” she mumbled, leaning on him for support.  He helped her up the stairs to their bedroom, stopping only to turn off the lights and close the door behind them.  He laid her down on the bed and removed her shoes before pulling the covers over her exhausted frame and lying down behind her.  He wrapped his arm around her and drew small circles on her belly as he listened to her breathing even out.