Five Times Jim and Pam Kissed for the Very First Time by Azlin
Past Featured StorySummary: Five first kisses and one hundredth one...
Categories: Jim and Pam, Past, Future, Episode Related Characters: Jim/Pam
Genres: Fluff, Romance
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Challenges: Prior Meeting
Challenges: Prior Meeting
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes Word count: 2592 Read: 22318 Published: April 12, 2007 Updated: April 12, 2007
Story Notes:

This story is dedicated to all the nice people over at TwoP who have kindly scrolled past my incessant postings over the last week or so as I've transitioned from lurker-lazy to frequent-poster-crazy. Most people would not have been so nice. They would have said something like "Shut up! Azlin no one cares."

And to edo because I miss her already.

Spoilers through Gay Witch Hunt, and then just spec. I own nothing.

1. One x by Azlin

2. Two xx by Azlin

3. Three xxx by Azlin

4. Four xxxx by Azlin

5. Five xxxxx by Azlin

6. Epilogue by Azlin

One x by Azlin

The first time she saw him she was fourteen years and eight months old and waiting in line at the tilt-a-whirl. She couldn't say why she noticed him. He certainly wasn't the only teenage boy at the fair. Nor was he particularly good-looking. Not nearly as cute as Roy Anderson, the boy she had a huge crush on who sat behind her in history.

Maybe it was the way his hands went way up in the air when the little girl he was with (probably his little sister, judging from their identical noses) managed to win a big stuffed animal. He just looked so unconcerned with what people thought of him. She wished she was more like that.

The next time she saw him they were five feet away from each other, both staring into the huge fish tank where they kept the goldfish you could buy for a few cents. She caught him looking at her and for just a second a strange tingle ran up her spine. She looked away quickly, wondering why she was beginning to blush.

It had to be fate. Nothing else could explain the way they ended up sitting in the same roller coaster car, just inches away from each other, waiting for the ride to begin. She put her hands up on the bar and when he did the same his littlest finger overlapped hers for just an instant.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"That's okay." she quietly replied. They were both silent for a minute.

"What's your name?" He asked. But as she opened her mouth to answer, the car started moving and she couldn't hear anything over the loud clicking that accompanied their ascent into the sky. She looked at him once more right before they reached the top and her eyes widened along with his as they both realized just how high up they were.

In a rush they plunged down into a twist then looped over and around and up again. It was exhilarating and wonderful. She felt like she was flying.

It wasn't until they slowed down that she realized she was clutching the boy's hand in her own. Embarrassed again, she quickly let go and scooted to her side of the car.

She wasn't sure which was making her heart race more: the ride she had just taken or the fact that she could still feel his fingertips pressed into the back of her hand. It didn't matter though. She knew she'd never see him again.

She was walking back to meet her parents at the car when she felt someone grab her wrist from behind. She panicked until she turned around and found herself staring into a pair of green eyes. It was the boy from the roller coaster.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Oh."

"So... bye." he finished lamely. 

"Bye."

It happened so fast she almost didn't realize what was going on until it was over. Her hair had blown into her eyes and it was getting in the way of his lips on hers. His lips? He was kissing her! Her breath caught as he quickly pulled away. Before she could say anything he was gone, running in the opposite direction across the parking lot. This definitely wasn't the way she had pictured her first kiss.

Two xx by Azlin

He couldn't remember the last time she had looked this free. He imagined that this must have been what she was like as a little girl. Giddy and silly and sweet. The woman sitting across from him at the table was so different from the one who met his eyes over her desk at work each day. But it was still her. If he hadn't been sure before tonight, he definitely knew now that he was completely in love with Pam Beesly.

Her speech was utterly ridiculous. If she hadn't been so drunk he would have been laughing at her so much that when she saw his face she would have come over and pummeled him for making fun of her. He wondered if after acknowledging Michael and Dwight, she would go on to mention him. When she didn't, he wondered if she would ever know how much trouble he had gone through to get her that award, instead of the one she had been expecting.

She finished her speech and ran to him and for a split second he let himself pretend that she was his. That she was running to him because she wanted him as much as he had always wanted her. But in that split second he suddenly found her face just inches away. And then just as suddenly she was kissing him firmly and it was all he could do not to kiss her back.

Her lips were soft and small and better than he had ever imagined. Her nose was up against his own and his fists clenched as he willed himself again not to take advantage of this situation. She was drunk and he wasn't sure if she'd remember this tomorrow, and everyone was watching and this wasn't how he had wanted this to happen.

When she stopped he moved back into his chair, not really sure what was wrong with his legs but knowing that they wouldn't support him much longer. He kept silently repeating to himself "she's drunk, she's drunk, she's drunk, she's drunk..." It was a mantra to keep him from thinking about what had just happened. That kiss meant nothing. She was still engaged to Roy. Everything was still exactly the same.

But... she had kissed him. After years of being best friends it was their first kiss and that wasn't something he could think about without smiling.

Three xxx by Azlin

She knew exactly what was coming. She'd seen that look in his eyes before, but now it was so much more intense. And after what he had just told her she knew he wouldn't hold back this time.

She should stop it, stop him, keep this moment from happening. He came toward her slowly, but purposefully. She really should stop him. Was there time? How would she even do that? She wasn't even sure if she wanted him to stop.

"Listen, Jim."

Too late. He was kissing her.

With his cheeks this close she imagined she could feel exactly where he'd brushed away his tears. She wondered if he could tell where hers had been. Why couldn't this be right?

And then his lips moved again and for one tiny moment it was. Suddenly she knew that this was exactly what she was supposed to be doing right now. And because of that it was right. More right than anything she'd ever done before. But also more terrifying. 

Just as quickly his lips were gone, taking her clarity with them.

"You have no idea, how long I have wanted to do that." Right. Jim. Jim who was in love with her. Her best friend. Not her fiancee. This couldn't be right. Not yet. She had to make it stop.

"Me too." What? That wasn't making it stop. What was she doing? This wasn't like her. She was terrified of herself right now, of what she might end up doing. Did she really want this? Now? She had to do something.

"I think we're just drunk." Please let that work. I can't do this right now. I just need a little time to think. I think I might love you too.

"No, I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?" Apparently not drunk enough. And why did he have to look so concerned? This wasn't fair. This moment, to him, was perfect. It was exactly the moment he'd dreamed about. But it couldn't be perfect to her. Not yet. She wasn't allowed to have perfect yet. To her this moment was impossible, and yet, here she was. Stop Pam. Stop being happy this isn't right. You have to stop.

"No." Stop smiling Pam. He leaned toward her again.

"Jim." There. She'd done it. She'd said his name, forcing herself to remember exactly who he was and what she was doing.

"Are you really gonna marry him?" Yes. Roy. She was marrying Roy. That was how it had always been. That was still how it was going to be. Right?

She nodded to him, but also to herself. It was all planned. There was nothing she could do about it now. And she loved Roy. Didn't she? She had to love him because she was marrying him. You don't marry someone you don't love and you don't love someone when you're marrying someone else.

"Okay." And just like that he was gone. Wait. Stop. Jim. Stay. Help me figure this out. I need you now. All the things she could have said. But not one came out of her mouth. He had kissed her. And then he'd left. Their first real kiss and their last.

Four xxxx by Azlin

Over a year later they were once again in a parking lot.

"Jim, wait!" her words echoed across the empty asphalt, but he wasn't about to slow down. She finally caught up to him at his car, her eyes pleading with him to hear her out. It was the last straw. He couldn't do this again.

"No! Pam! How can I make you understand? I am so sick of waiting! I just can't wait anymore. I thought for sure when I broke up with Karen that we could be together, but--"

"We can." Her interruption startled him.

"What?"

"Jim." Her voice was softer this time and he quickly shut his face down to hide the growing anticipation in his belly. If this wasn't what he thought it was... but then she looked up at him and he could see the smile hovering behind her eyes.

"Jim," she repeated. And it sounded as though she was trying to prove to both of them that he was really here. That they were here together. "I'm sick of waiting too."

Without warning, her hands were on both sides of his face and her lips pressed softly against his own. He shut his eyes tight. If this was just another dream, then he would stay asleep forever.

But it wasn't a dream. He could tell by the way her fingertips were cool as they brushed along his scalp. And the fact that he could hear cars rushing past a few blocks away. Her hair smelled vaguely flowery, and he never smelled things in his dreams. This was real.

His lips were still on hers as he reached around to cradle her whole body up against him. The soft little moan she made only encouraging him in his goal of making this last as long as possible. He certainly hadn't been expecting it but this was their first real kiss. The first time they had both been free to do this in exactly the way that he had always wanted to. 

It hadn't happened the way he'd imagined, but he knew that all he really wanted now was to make it perfect.

Five xxxxx by Azlin

She couldn't believe they were finally here. She had imagined it so many times. Everyone does of course. All little girls picture this day. She just hadn't pictured it like this. Or with him. But here she was, and here he was, and nothing had ever felt so right in her life.

It had taken them so long to get to this point that there had been times when she had felt like it wasn't even worth it. Even after they had finally gotten together, a feat that had taken them several years, they had spent even longer working out all the rough patches in their relationship. It seemed like fate, or whatever, had wanted to pay them back for how easy it had been when they first became friends, by making them agonize over reaching this point. But when she saw the way his eyes lit up as she made her way down the aisle she knew every stupid little fight, every threat one of them had made to back out, every night she'd spent in tears had been worth if for the moment they were sharing right now.

The ceremony itself seemed to take forever, and she was glad someone was taping it because she knew she'd only remember little bits and pieces. Like the smell of violets and roses mixed with orange blossoms and the way the sunlight filtered through the trees overhead to form shifting patterns on the grass.

She tried to pay attention to the words, but to her they were only the official way of stating an agreement that the two of them had already made. She wanted this to last forever, and she knew he wanted that too. Both of them had privately promised each other to do whatever it would take to make that happen.

Startled out of her daydreams, she realized everyone was looking at her. She caught Jim's half-smothered, mocking smile out of the corner of her eye as she quickly said, "I do."

And then it was time. He turned to her with a look of such pure joy, and she knew that look was mirrored on her own face. With a little rush of giddiness she reached her hand up to his familiar cheek and quietly sighed with content as he lowered his lips to hers.

He kept his face close after pulling away. Then their eyes locked and he suddenly moved toward her again to kiss the corner of her mouth before gently sliding his tongue across her bottom lip. She was so surprised that she barely heard the roar of approval from their family and friends. She knew he had meant to keep it fairly chaste, but as his tongue moved along hers she honestly didn't mind the change in plans. When they reluctantly pulled away he whispered "I love you Pam Halpert."

Beaming up at him, she knew it was the perfect first kiss for their new beginning.

End Notes:
Keep reading, there's more! :)
Epilogue by Azlin

Later that night at their reception, Larissa surprised Jim by asking Pam to tell them all about her first kiss.

"Oh, uh, that's actually a really funny story," she began. Jim didn't care if it was funny, he really didn't want to be thinking about Roy right now. Not on their wedding day. But he couldn't stop her without making a scene.

"Well," Pam continued. "I was fourteen years old and I met this guy at the fair." No way. He could see the rest of his family beginning to exchange stunned glances as Pam kept talking.

"Actually, I never even found out what his name was, but I remember he had green eyes, kind of like Jim's in fact, and we rode the roller coaster together and the whole day I kept wondering what was wrong with me, because I just couldn't stop thinking about him and then right as I was leaving he came up behind me and--"

"Kissed you in the parking lot." Larissa finished. Pam looked at her, confused.

"I don't believe it." Jim said, surprised to find he that he still could speak.

"What?" Pam asked, looking even more puzzled.

His grin spread as Larissa did her best to explain

"Oh my--" Pam exclaimed

"Yeah," said Larissa

"That was...?"

"Yeah."

"So you...?" she asked, turning to face him.

"I guess so." He shrugged, smiling at his bride.

She smiled back up at him and he couldn't help laughing at the look on her face.

"It must have been fate." Larissa concluded as he leaned over to kiss Pam for the hundredth time that day. Somehow knowing that they had done this so long ago, and so many times since then, only made this next kiss that much sweeter.

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