It was her first day at work. She had just moved into her room that morning. Her roommate wouldn’t move in for another week. She tried to enjoy her alone time as much as she could. She had never shared a room with anyone before. She wasn’t sure if the age difference would even be noticeable. She had already spent one year at a community college. She felt like she had gained a little bit of the maturity that her roommate would hopefully have after the year was done. But, to make things go as smooth as possible she hadn’t really begun to unpack anything other than her clothes and her bedding and one picture. She hated whenever a new season of the Real World would start and the first fight would be about how people chose rooms before everyone got there. She took the bed closest to the door because she knew it was often the least desirable. She grabbed the picture and stood it up on her desk against the wall. She did a quick sweep of the room before she grabbed her sweater and headed out of the door.

As she started down the stairs she heard some voices coming from a flight above her. She looked up and saw two guys. Both were tall, incredibly tall. The cuter one was on the verge of preppy, but stopped just short of it. The other one, from what she could see from this angle was probably an engineer major.

“I’m just saying Dwight, I know for a fact that the first week they’re going to do pop quizzes.”

“Who are you sources? Are they reliable?” Dwight asked matter-of-factly.

“Michael and obviously.”

She could see a grin creep across the other one’s face and then suddenly disappear as Dwight looked at him for some sort of facial confirmation that he wasn’t in fact lying. Seeing what he needed, he inquired further. “So tell me what I need to know.”

“First off, you need to know every single person’s social security number along with their student ID number. You will also have to memorize the layout of the inside of your residents’ rooms.”

Dwight looked confused and stopped for a moment. The cute one stopped too. She wanted to stop and finish listening to the ridiculous conversation but continued on down the stairs. “I see the practicality of learning their identification numbers, but why would their layouts be of any importance to me or anyone else?”

She noticed a long pause. The guy was clearly trying to think of a reasonable answer. She stopped now because she had reached the door, but needed to hear his answer. She bent over and untied and began to retie her shoe.

“Come one Dwight, isn’t it obvious?”

“Jim, I assure you if I knew I would not question. I would never question anything Michael advised.”

‘Ah, Jim.’ It was good to now have a name for the face. As they reached the bottom of the step, Jim and Dwight stepped around her and Dwight exited the stairwell first. Jim held the door for her and she quickly finished tying her other shoe.

“Thanks,” She said meekly, afraid to meet his eyes.

“Not a problem,” He said.

Dwight was standing off to the side waiting to continue his conversation with Jim. Jim forgot about Dwight for a moment as he watched the curly haired girl walk ahead of them. He was quickly brought back to reality as Dwight cleared his voice.

“Sorry, umm... I... I think it’s pretty clear why you need to memorize their rooms.” He waited for Dwight to nod in agreement. “If there’s ever a blackout you would need to be able to successfully enter a room and write them up in case they were drinking.”

“How would one go about doing this?”

“Well I have a photographic memory so I’ve got that covered. It’s really up to each RA though to do what they need to do.”

“Thank you James, you have been a great help. I’ll remember this moment when I am your superior one day and will have to take pity on you.”

Jim had a tight lip grin and nodded. Dwight picked up his pace and entered an open door into a small office where several other people were already sitting on couches and chairs inside. The curly haired girl was standing across from the open door of the office at the front office. Jim entered the front office and walked over to his mail box. He rummaged through some paper to kill some time, eventually not taking anything with him.

He stopped directly in front of her on the other side of the counter. “Did you need something?”

She finally looked up at him and her knees went a little weak as she stared into his piercing green eyes. She searched for words but nothing came. She was able to force out a small shake of her head. He chuckled. A larger woman walked through the door of the front office and put down a big stack of paper down on the counter next to him.

“Hey Phyllis. Work treating you good?” Jim said to her.

“No. One of you used all of my ink from my printer and forgot to call IT to replace it. I had to go down to the offices and print all of these papers off of Jan’s computer then carry them all back upstairs. And I don’t know where my new worker is. She was supposed to be here by now. I swear, the hall would collapse if I wasn’t here.”

Finally the curly haired girl spoke. “I’m actually your new employee. I got here just a minute ago at 10.”

“Well what are you standing around for? Get in here and start separating those papers,” Phyllis said.

Jim watched as the she walked in the room and stood next to him. She took off her sweater and laid it over the back of the chair in between them.

“That’s a cute hat,” she said as she took a seat and began separating the pages.

Phyllis’ demeanor quickly softened. She smiled and picked up the hat from her desk, “I got it last weekend at the outlet shops.” Her voice was now almost a soft whisper.

“It goes nice with your coat.” She pointed at the furry brown coat hanging on the wall next to a plant.

“What did you say your name was again?”

“Pam Beesly.” She gave Phyllis a smile.

Jim still stood in the corner. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She had just cracked Phyllis in under a minute. He had known Phyllis for a whole year and he didn’t get her to let up on him until mid spring semester of last year. It wasn’t that Phyllis was mean all the time, but she definitely had her moods. And to crack Phyllis while she was in one of her moods was nothing short of a miracle.

“You can call me Phyllis. All of the kids do.”

Pam quickly returned to separating. Dwight emerged from the office across the way. “Jim, we’re about to start. Phyllis, did you get the papers that Michael asked for?”

Phyllis’ face stiffened at the sight of Dwight, “Tell Michael that it is unreasonable to ask for that many copies in the amount of time that he needed them in. He can pick up his papers after the meeting. Tell him that they will be in his box.”

“I hope you know that this is quite unsatisfactory.”

Jim walked out of the office and put a hand on Dwight’s shoulder. “Lay off man. Don’t piss off the beast,” he said in a hushed voice.

Pam looked up at him and gave him a small smile. He smiled back as they entered the other office and sat down. Pam turned back to Phyllis. “What do they do?”

“They’re Resident Advisors. RAs,” she said without looking up from her computer screen, “I’m going to take my 15 minute break. If the phone rings and you don’t know how to answer the question, just send the call to voicemail. Can you do that?” Pam nodded. With that Phyllis turned off her monitor to her computer and grabbed her purse. “You can sit in my seat if that’s more comfortable for you.”

“Thanks.”

She stood there for the next minute separating the pages, alternating the direction of the pages to make stapling go faster. When she was finally done stapling she took a moment to read the title on the page. It read Michael Scott: Senior Resident Advisor, Neighbor, Friend, Student, Anthropologist. She laughed a little and finally took a seat behind Phyllis’ desk and continued reading. Ten minutes and many pages later she finished. ‘Clearly this must be a joke,’ she thought, ‘How could one person write this much and essentially tell you nothing about them self?’

Jim was the first to emerge from the office. He was followed by Dwight and 8 other people. Pam laughed to herself thinking how weird they looked filing out of the room. It was like watching clowns pile out of a clown car. The office at most was a 12 x 12 room. Her laugh was quickly stifled as she realized that they were now walking into the front office.

Jim took a seat in the chair that was next to the counter. The other people in his group took turns looking in their mail boxes. When the last person walked in Jim began to speak. “Hey, Kev, this is the girl I was telling you about.”

He stood in front of the desk and in a low slow voice he said to Pam, “I bow down to you. Please teach me your ways.”

She blushed a little thinking that she had come up in conversation in between two people that she hadn’t yet officially met. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m flattered, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jim told me how you tamed Phyllis. I’m Kevin Malone,” he stuck his hand out and she shook it, “You are my hero.”

“Pam Beesly.” She nervously straightened the stack of paper in front of her when she realized that a few more of the eyes were now on her.

Jim stood up from the chair and approached the desk. “I never introduced myself. Jim Halpert, fourth floor RA,” he shook her hand and continued, “Kevin is the first floor RA along with Karen Filippelli.” A petit tan brunette raised a hand and gave a little wave as she continued to riffle through the paper in her mail box. “Meredith and Katy are the second floor RAs.” Neither woman looked up so Pam wasn’t sure who was who. “Angela and Andy are the third floor RAs.” The small blonde gave a small smile.

“Andrew Bernard. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” He said with just a little too much enthusiasm. But Pam smiled anyways.

“That is Toby, he’s on the third floor and is the academic version of an RA.” Toby smiled and Jim continued, “Dwight is also on the fourth floor.” Dwight nodded. “And last but certainly not least, our fearless leader, Michael Scott, flying solo on the fifth floor.”

The serious looking man suddenly stepped in front of the desk and said, “You’re so much better to look at than Phyllis. Bleeck. She’s the first face that the students are going to see and think that we all look like that. But you’re good. You’re a solid 7. Not too hot, but definitely not Phyllis.”

“I don’t think that’s appro...” Michael continued to speak oblivious to the fact that Pam was trying to protest.

“It’s like they hire people without thinking. If I hired the people we would all look like Katy.”

“Wow,” she said with wide eyes. She realized that Michael’s autobiography was indeed more truthful than she initially thought.

The people began to filter out of the office in all different directions leaving only Jim and Michael in the office with Pam. “I think these are your’s.” Pam scooted the stack of papers toward Michael.

“Thanks. My welcome letter,” he showed the stack to Jim.

“What did you not put in that?”

“Fear not, I’ve made enough copies for my residents and for all of the new RAs. That means you Jimbo.” Michael took the huge stack of paper and walked over to the elevator. He lifted a knee and tried to balance himself against the wall as he struggled to get a hand free to press the up button.

“It was nice meeting you. I guess I’ll see you around.” He gave her a lopsided smile and walked out of the office and grabbed the stack of papers off of Michael’s leg. She watched as that floppy haired guy with that lopsided smile walked into the elevator and she tried not to smile too big.

The phone rang for the first time in 30 minutes ‘Where the hell is Phyllis,’ she thought before she picked up the phone.

“Dunder Hall this Pam...” she listened as some parent asked if her son needed to bring his own bed.

.



Her first week in the hall was going faster than she had hoped. Most of her time was spent with Phyllis training. She hadn’t seen Jim a whole lot in the past few days. The Dunder staff was doing training and bonding activities at different halls. She did meet another office assistant or Community Assistants as they were called. His name was Ryan. He was definitely on the smaller side when it came to muscles, but he was nice. He helped the time past with greater ease.


Ryan and Pam sat in the TV lounge legs spread out. Hundreds of small manila packets were sitting in front of them. Pam was labeling them all with a room number and then an A or B. She would then pass the small envelope to Ryan and he would place two keys into the envelope, one metal and one card key. They had been sitting on the floor for about two hours wordless praying to finish before 7pm.


“I can’t do this anymore,” Ryan said throwing down another envelope. “Wanna take a dinner break?”


She pushed aside the mess in front of her and rolled over on her back. Staring at the ceiling she closed one eye and began counting the tiles in the room. Ryan laid down too. They’re bodies were perpendicular to each other and his head laid near hers’.


“21, 22, 23, 24...” She stopped. She moved his head towards him. “Can we order something instead?”


“We’ve only been here 5 days and we’ve already ordered food twice this week.”


“I know, but Phyllis’ stupid assignments make me want comfort food.” She pouted.


“Don’t make that face. I told you that it looks just like my sister’s face.”


“Must have a pretty cute sister then, huh?” She scrunched her face together and continued to pout.


“Fine, but no extra sauce on the pizza this time. I felt like I was dipping my pizza in spaghetti sauce.”


Pam got up and walked out of the lounge toward the office. Ryan continued to lie on his back and was now counting the tiles.


She walked back into the room, and immediately grabbed the recycle bin next to the door and propped the door open with it. “They said they would call when they got here.”


Pam took a seat on a couch behind their mess. Ryan rolled over and stretched out to turn on the big screen. It was an older big screen. The color was going on it. Every image on the screen had a nice yellow and green outline. “You know this TV is pop art without even trying.”


Ryan pushed himself up on his elbows and looked back at her, “What?”


“You know, the exaggerated outline with the usage of yellow and green makes the people all seem cartoonish and fake.”


“Pam, it’s TV, everyone is fake.”


“Nevermind,” she sighed. Pam looked back at the TV and Ryan and she sat in silence for fifteen minutes watching Homer playing softball. A small laugh would escape her mouth every once in a while. Ryan on the other hand had a loud hearty laugh every few scenes. It was like he had never seen the episodes or the Simpsons.


The phone rang in the office and she jumped up to get it. Ryan didn’t move just laid on his stomach watching.


“Dunder Hall this is Pam,” she waited for the voice, “Alright, I’ll be right out.” She turned off the lights and closed the door behind her and headed for the front entrance.


She greeted the pizza guy. Signed her receipt and walked back in. She heard voices coming from the lounge. Three distinct voices all singing.


“We’re talking softball... From Maine to San Diego.” The lyrics got a little jumbled as they continued and picked up again at the end. “We’re talking Homerrrrr... Ozzie and the Strawwww!”


She walked in to see Ryan now sitting with Jim, Dwight, and Andy. Dwight clearly abstaining from singing, probably because he had actually never seen this episode. She was greeted by a smile and a ‘Hey Pam.’ She placed the pizza on the floor and opened the box. Ryan went for a piece first. He was halfway done with it by the time Pam picked up her slice. She looked at the other guys in the room, “You guys can grab some if you want.”


Andy immediately went for a slice and so did Dwight. Jim hesitated. “What’s the matter, don’t like pepperoni?” Talking to Jim had gotten easier every time she saw him and it was easier to look into those eyes too.


“Oh, no it’s just, I feel bad because I didn’t chip in.”


“It’s not a big deal, if you don’t eat any then I’ll just force myself to eat the rest later and then I’ll feel like crap. And I’ll have to blame you.”


“Fine, but let me buy you a soda.” He loved that face she made. It was sort of similar to the smirk he gave to people when he was giving them crap. He got up and walked over to the vending machine that illuminated that half of the lounge. “Is grape okay?”


“Perfect.” She said looking up from her greasy pizza. He walked back over and handed her a soda and sat next to her on the floor.


Andy was on his third slice when he began to speak. “So Pam-ela, tell me about yourself. What makes you tick?”


Pam shoved the remaining bit of cheese hanging from her lip into her mouth. “What do you want to know exactly?”


“Where are you from?” Jim interjected.


“Scranton. It’s like 2 and half hours from here.”


“Major?” Jim continued.


“Art History, for now.”


“Nice. I’m in Architecture.” He said smiling. “So are you excited about this whole college experience?”


“Yeah I guess,” she picked off a few pepperonis and placed them on her napkin, “I’ve already been in school for a whole year. This is just my first in year in an actual university.”


“So you’re a sophomore?” She nodded, “Cool. Dwight, Andy, and I are too. Maybe I’ll have a class or two with you.” He reached across her lap for the discarded pepperonis on the napkin, “Can I?” She blushed as his hand grazed her arm.


“Sure,” she said even though he already had them in his hands.


The five of them sat watching another episode of The Simpsons. Dwight was the first to get up. He thanked Ryan and Pam for the pizza and excused himself. As the door from the lounge swung open they caught a glimpse of a pink blur standing by the closed office window. Ryan and Pam looked at each other.

“NOT IT!” Ryan yelled.

Pam stood up and gave Ryan a dirty look as she opened the door. “Hey. Can I help you?”


“Yeah, I need to check in, but no one is here.”


“That’s probably because check in doesn’t start until Sunday.”


“Oh my god! Are you kidding?” The girl looked like she was going to hyperventilate, but instead she got her second wind. “I knew when I booked my ticket I should have double checked the date. I mean, I’m usually good with dates, you know. Like, I’m really good at remembering all of the birthdates of the people from the Hills. Like Lauren’s birthday is the first of February, and that’s how I always remember my little sister’s birthday, because her birthday is the first too.”

Pam watched as this pink covered girl continued to carry on her own conversation. “I feel bad for sending you away, so let me see what I can do.” Pam walked over to the lounge followed by the girl. “Hey can I see one of you for a second.” Jim was the first to jump up.


“So we have a little bit of a problem. She,” Pam motioned to girl behind her, “flew in too early. Do you think we can give her her room key now?”

“Oh yeah, I guess Phyllis forgot to tell you. Every year we always get a few overzealous kids who show up early. Dwight showed up a whole week before check in last year.” He walked to the office and opened the door and ushered both girls in. “What’s your name?”


“Kelly Kapoor. I think I’m in room 360.”


Jim snorted, and Pam’s face dropped. “Well you’re in luck Kelly. Meet your new roommate, Pam.”


“OH MY GOD! We’re going to be just like sisters!” She hugged Pam and bounced a little while doing it. “I’ve always wanted a sister.”


“Didn’t you just say you had a sister?” Pam began to pull away from the hug.


“Yeah, but you’re that cool sister that I’ve always wanted. Tiffany is always bugging me. She’s so annoying. She can talk for hours and hours and hours. And then finally I’m like, earth to Tiffany, no one is listening. I mean, can you imagine having to live with that? But this is going to be so awesome.” Jim hands Kelly a card that indeed confirms that she is in in room 360. “Have you ever seen Parent Trap? The one with Lindsay Lohan before she became a coke addict. This is going to be just like that movie. Except we’re not twins and we don’t hate each other.”


Kelly signs her name on the card. She continues, “I had a good feeling when I got here. My horoscope said that I would meet a kindred spirit today, and here you are! Are you a Taurus? Because I’m a Virgo, and that would mean that this was totally written in the stars.”


Kelly grabbed one of her pink luggage that she had been rolling behind her and walked out of the office. “You know, I always thought that it would look like Rory Gilmore’s dorm from the Gilmore Girls. Or maybe even Joey’s from Dawson’s. Kind of a bummer.”


Jim followed Pam out and rubbed her shoulder, “You’ll get through this. And if not I’m always one floor above you.”


He gave her hope that this year wouldn't be all bad.



.

.



The sunlight danced on her arm as she gradually woke up. She looked over and Kelly wasn’t in bed. She wasn’t in the room. The room. What the hell happened to the room? Pam shoved the covers off and sat up. On the wall next to Pam’s bed was a giant poster of Orlando Bloom. There was what could only be described as a pink boa garland thing framing the window. And to top it off sitting on top of Kelly’s bed was the largest stuffed animal she had ever seen anyone over the age of 15 own. It was a big green frog. On the plus side it did break up the pink. Pam got up and glanced at the clock. It was 11. She never slept in this late. Normally she didn’t stay up that late either. She and Ryan had finished their work at 2 am. When she got back to her room Kelly was sleeping but the room definitely did not look like this.


Her feet hit the cold tile. She grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste off of her desk and she opened her door. Her room was right across from the bathroom. She wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing yet. She got to the bathroom door and pushed it open. She was suddenly pulled back by a hand.


“Watch it.”


She turned around to see whose hand was on her and saw Jim standing there. “Watch what?”


“The floor. Trust me, you do not want to stand on that without shoes. Bleach can only kill so many things.”


“Oh. Gross.” She was suddenly very self conscious about her feet. She tried to hide one foot behind her leg.


She turned around and walked through her open bedroom door. He stood in the doorway and watched her look for a pair of flip flops.


“Wow, I would not have pegged you for an Orlando Bloom fan. You should talk to Dwight. He will totally school you on all things Orlando Bloom. He’ll say it’s because he wanted to further his knowledge on elf culture. I think he has a little man crush, but don’t say I said that.”


Her head popped up from the under the bed. “Oh, that’s not mine.” She stood up with a pair of sandals in hand and she threw them down and slid her feet into them.


“When did the pepto-bismol monster come over?”


“I’m not exactly sure.” She stopped around the room again. “Some time this morning I guess.” She walked out of the room towards the bathroom toothbrush still in hand.


“After you’re done, do want to head over to the dining hall? I was going to ask Andy, but he wasn’t in his room.”


“Yeah, let me just brush,” she held up the toothbrush, “and I’ll be ready to go.”


He waited outside of her room standing against the wall. He felt like it was invading her space by staring in, but it wasn’t like she had a whole lot of space to invade.


“All done. Let me just grab my key. She reached her arm in and grabbed the key on her desk.


In the dining hall they went their separate ways. Jim headed toward the cereal and Pam went and stood in line for a waffle. He waved across the room and pointed to a table. Two minutes later she was placing her tray down in front of him. She had gotten a cup of orange juice and two sausage links along with her waffle. She looked over at Jim’s plate and saw two glasses of chocolate milk and a bowl of cocoa puffs.


“Going a little heavy on the chocolate don’t you think?” He dipped his spoon into his cereal and she saw chocolate milk dripping from the spoon. “Did you put chocolate milk in your cocoa puffs?”


He took another big bite. “Yeah.”


“You... Are... Sick,” she said in amazement.


“So this in no way turns you on?” He smirked.


“Yes, but only in the way that I’m totally amazed that anyone’s body can handle that much sugar in the morning.”


Pam finished everything except half of her waffle. She got up and he thought she was leaving but she only picked up the half eaten waffle. She walked up to the waffle station and covered the waffle in two inches of whipped cream. She sat back down and licked some whipped cream off of her finger.


“Pot calling the kettle black.”


“Oh, I forgot to add that I was totally turned on because someone other than me can consume this much sugar this early. My mistake.”


He finished his food and they both stood up. She had folded her waffle in half and was eating it like a sandwich. They walked back in silence. Every once in awhile he would look over at her and shake his head and laugh as she tried to keep from losing any whipped cream. She was holding the remaining piece above her head catching drops of whipped cream. She finally finished it as they headed up the stairs.


“Got any big plans for today?”


“Not really. I was just going to wander around campus and try to find all of my classes.”


“I was going to go buy some books. If you want to go with me I can give you your own personal tour of campus afterwards.”


“You wouldn’t mind?”


“Trust me, I am down for anything that gets me a break from this place. I was going to shower first. Is 30 minutes okay?”


She stopped at the third floor. “30 minutes works for me. See you then.”


30 minutes later he headed down the stairs to her room. She was sitting in her desk chair on her computer. She had clearly showered and she was wearing a white polo t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. She looked up at him and sighed.


“You’ve got to be kidding me!”


There he stood in the doorway wearing khaki shorts and a white polo t-shirt.


Jim looked down now just realizing that they had essentially put on the same outfit. “Clearly we just have good taste.”


She thought about changing, but this was her favorite shirt. She grabbed a piece of paper with her schedule printed on it. He was studying the room. His eyes stopped on the photo on her desk. It was a picture of her and a tall burly guy. “Who’s that?” He pointed to the picture.


“Oh, that’s Roy.”


He wanted her to elaborate, but she stood up. “I think I got everything. Did you want a water for the road?”


“Sure.” She headed over to the small mini-fridge in the corner and grabbed to bottles. He stole another glance at the picture. The way his hand was wrapped around her waist he knew that it was her boyfriend.


~


It was Sunday. Check in day had finally arrived. Jim had just begun his shift and he was already annoyed. Michael and Kevin had warned him that today would be one of the worst days. Today was one of the few days that there would be this many parents present in the hall. He was tired. No one told him how tiring all of this would be. Getting up at 7 for stupid bonding activities, like roll call. Going to bed sometime after 2 because he was trying to hang up things on his bulletin boards. He felt like he could sleep for days, but knew he wouldn’t get any sleep until the night before classes started. If it weren’t for the free room and board he would have quit that first day.


A lady in her early 50s interrupted his thoughts. “Hi, I’m checking in for David Brent.”


“Is David actually present?”


The lady moved her glasses further down her nose so she could get a clear look at Jim. “I’m his mother.”


“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you his things if he isn’t here to sign for them.”


“Where’s your boss?”


Jim suddenly thought it would make for a good laugh to send her over to Michael, but figured Michael would take the power to his head. Instead Jim leaned back in his chair and looked for his boss. “Stanley! This woman wants to speak to you.”


Stanley was sitting on a couch behind his RAs doing a crossword puzzle. He sighed louder than he talked. He slowly got up from his seat and walked up behind Jim. “Is there a problem?” He said with a slow drawl.


“Yes, this young man won’t give me the keys to my son’s room.”


“Ma’am, it clearly stated in the...”


Jim tuned out the conversation and helped the next person in line. Stanley would set her straight. He knew why you couldn’t give a key to someone that it didn’t belong to. Common sense told him that. Jim, however, would do this several more times during the day, mainly because he hated arguing with other people’s mothers. Also, he thought it was good for Stanley to move a little bit during the day. Keeps his heart pumping.


At the end of his shift he wandered into the office. Pam was sitting behind the desk on her computer. He laid half of his body on the counter and closed his eyes.


“Tired much?”


He opened his eyes and gave the weakest smile she had ever seen. “I think maybe I might go to sleep,” he paused, “for the next month. Can you make sure to put all of my mail in Dwight's box while I rest up for the month?” He lifted his head as he got an idea. “Actually, can just go ahead and do that anyway.”


She laughed. He lived to hear her laugh. Not because she had the cutest laugh in the world, but because she laughed with all of her being. He loved her laugh even more when it was him that made her laugh. His weak smile broke into a full grin. “What are you watching?”


“Memento. Kind of a weird movie, but I’ve never seen it and it was here in the office. So, yeah. Want to watch with me?” She offered up one of her ear buds to her headphones.


He got up off of the counter and pulled a chair behind the desk next to Pam. He watched with her for 10 minutes until he finally fell asleep in his chair. His legs were stretched straight out in front of him and he had his arms folded across his chest. Occasionally he would let out a small snore and she would smile. She waited till the end of her shift at 6 to wake him up. She knew that if she woke him any earlier he would just return to his floor and end up talk to residents instead of sleeping.


“Jim.” She shook his shoulder lightly. Nothing. “Jim,” she said it louder this time. Nothing again. She pinched his arm and his eyes shot open. He instinctively wiped his mouth with his arm hoping that hadn’t been drooling.


“How long was I asleep?”


“It was like an hour and a half. Feel better?” She was gathering her things.


“Actually, yes. Now I know what people mean when they talk about a power nap.”


She put her computer into her bag and squeezed past Jim to put her time card away. She squeezed past him again to grab her sweater off of the chair. Ryan walked in and smiled slightly. He wondered about these two. Every time he walked in the office there they were. They had only been here for a week and he figured that it would be a little soon for them to already be dating, but they could be just messing around with each other. Friends with benefits... scratch that, co-workers with benefits. He shook his head when he saw Jim helping Pam put her sweater on.



“I’m going to head over for dinner. Do you want to come with me?”


“I would, but I told Kelly that I would meet her with some of the other girls on the floor for dinner. She’s afraid that I’ll become that creepy girl that sits in her room all day.”


“Good, just don’t become one of those girls from your floor or I can’t be friends with you anymore.”


“So let me get this straight. If I start wearing uggs with my skirt you’ll disown me?”


“Faster than you can say Michael Gary Scott.”


“I’ll try to remember that.” She put her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the office. She waved to them both when she walked past the window.


Ryan moved the extra chair to the side and sat down at the desk. He put the book down that he had been carrying on the desk. He glanced up at Jim. He was deep in thought.


“So, you and Pam, huh?”


“What?” He said with a confused look.


“You and Pam. Are you guys... umm... you know?


“What? I thought YOU and Pam were for awhile, but...”


“Gross. Me and Pam, that would never happen. She looks just like my sister.”


“Oh, I mean I know you guys aren’t... I saw a picture of her boyfriend. Forget that I mentioned that.” He laughed nervously.


“So you guys aren’t doing whatever?”


“No. She’s just cool to hang out with, you know. Like a good guy friend, but she’s a girl.”


Ryan was skeptical, but didn’t really care enough to spend his whole shift figuring out Jim and Pam’s relationship.



.

.



It was Monday morning. Pam had been up for 2 hours. She couldn’t sleep. She was nervous that she would accidentally sleep through her alarm and miss her first class. She even left her room 30 minutes early for class. Her first class went fast. The professor spent at least half of the time going over the syllabus and then the other half explaining the difference between his two books.


She had a about a two hour break between classes. It was a beautiful day and she decided to sit out on the quad and draw. After an hour of sketching the buildings she stopped and took out her phone. She scrolled down the list and stopped at her mom’s number. She let it ring and eventually it went to voicemail.


“Hey mom, it’s me. I thought I would catch you during your break. I was just calling to say that everything is going okay. I have my first art class next so I’m pretty excited – kind of nervous actually. I guess call me later when you’re free. Love you.”


She hung up the phone and got up from the grass. As she cut across to the path she saw Angela walking at full speed towards her.


“Hey Angela.”


“Hello Pam.”


Angela stopped and this scared Pam a little. She had only said hi because she didn’t want to be rude. She had only had a few conversations with Angela and so far none of them had gone well.


On her second night at work Angela had stopped by the office to print out a bulletin board. Pam reached for the printed sheets after they came off the printer. When she was handing her the sheets she saw “Top ten ways to have fun in college and keep God in your heart.” Pam wasn’t going to say anything. She planned on ignoring it when Angela began discussing it with her.


“You should read these.”


“What?”


“You seem like an at risk student.” Angela pointed to the little bit of cleavage that Pam was showing.


Pam tugged at her shirt and left her hand there. “Wow.”


“Don’t be ashamed Pam. God wants us all to be good Christians, but some of us are more easily tempted than others. So anything I can do to help you find the right path I will do. Know that I’m just down the hall from you.”


Angela turned and walked out of the office and Pam was glad that she didn’t stick around because she honestly had no words for her. The next morning there was a post-it note in the shape of a cat on her door. It was an invitation from Angela to attend her prayer group the next night. Pam didn’t go and in return Angela would shoot her a dirty look whenever they were in the same room.


So now that Angela was standing in front of her and not giving her the death glare she wondered what had changed.


“How are your classes going?”


“Good. I have my next one in an hour. So I was going to grab some lunch.”


“We should sit together.” She said this so sternly that Pam wasn’t sure if it was a suggestion or a command.


“Yeah, that sounds good.”


The walk to the dining hall was quiet. Pam was actually trying to make a list of things to ask her while they ate. Angela on the other hand was just trying to muster up enough courage to ask her one question.


It was Pam who broke the silence first. “How do you like the people on the floor so far?”


Angela seemed distracted. She only gave a small nod. And then Pam heard Angela speak faster then was humanly possible. “Pam, what is second base?”

She choked on her water and her eyes doubled in size. ‘Did holier than thou Angela just say those words?’


“Umm... I don’t... umm... maybe you should...”


“Hey guys!”


Pam spun around and saw Karen standing with her tray behind her. She promptly took the seat next to Angela.


“Hey Karen.”


Angela looked nauseous. She hadn’t touched anything on her plate. There wasn’t really a whole lot on her plate either. They were serving tacos for lunch and Angela mentioned something about not liking foreign foods. As soon as Karen had settled into her seat she stood up.


“I just realized that I forgot to grab the book for my next class. I’ll see you later.”


“OK.” Karen said.


“Hey Angela, if you want to grab that paper from me later I’m done with classes at 4.”


A nervous smile spread across her face. Pam looked back to Karen who, thankfully, was oblivious to what just happened.


She liked Karen, well from what she had seen. Karen seemed to be a fairly grounded person. She wasn’t a religious nut like Angela. Unlike Katy, she didn’t think that Karen secretly wanted to be in a sorority. She still hadn’t really met Meredith, but her gut told her that she was definitely more normal than Meredith.


“So, how do you like everyone so far?”


“Everyone is really nice. Is this your first year as an RA?”


“It’s my second actually. I was in a different hall last year, so the whole staff is new to me.”


“Do you like everyone so far?”


“They’re great. Michael can be a little scary, but I heard stories about him last year.”


Pam finished her food and looked down at her watch. 12:30. “I have to get going, thanks for keeping me company though.”


“Any time. I’ll see you later.”


She walked briskly to her class. She was the first one to arrive in the studio. She took the seat closest to the window. Other people began to slowly filter in. She began pulling out a notebook when she saw someone sitting next to her. She looked up and saw and older man with short white hair sitting down. He had a plastic bag sitting on the desk filled with his art supplies. He looked up from his mess and gave her a smile and he looked back down and began to search through his bag for something.


The professor walked through the door 5 minutes later and pulled a stool to the center of the room. She didn’t sit on it, instead she placed her ceramic cup on it. She was a bigger woman. She was stocky, almost like she could compete in a lumberjack competition.


“Welcome to Art Foundations. I’m your instructor Madge. I’m here to teach you some basics and try to really get your creativity flowing.”


They spent the next twenty minutes introducing themselves to the whole class. After this Madge told them that she thought it would be a good idea to get to know the person sitting next them by drawing them. Pam looked to her left and knew she was stuck with the old man, Creed. Madge walked around the room handing each person a huge piece of paper, the kind of paper you would play pictionary on. Then she came back around with a stick and a piece of charcoal attached to the end with a piece of tape.


“Everyone stand up. Face your partner and place the piece of paper in front of you and draw your partner. But to really get to know your partner and your paper, I want you to draw your partner without looking at the paper. Keep your eyes on your partner the whole time. When this is done we’ll take turns showing our sketch and then we’ll each share 3 things we learned about our partner.”


Pam stood in front of this old man and he extended his hand to formally introduce himself. “Creed Bratton, friends call me William.”


“Pam Beesly, everyone calls me Pam.” She took his hand and shook it.


It was awkward staring at someone for this long. She was glad that they could at least talk to break the discomfort. “What are you in for?”


“Art history. I would’ve liked to go for art studio, but I’m not really creative enough for it.” She was surprised she was being so candid with this old man. “You?”


“I’m actually just auditing the class.”


“What is that?”


“Means I graduated and I’m just taking classes without receiving any credit. Gives me something to do during the day.”


“What do you normally do?”


“Nothing since the 60s.”


“You know that it’s 2005, right?”


He never answered. For the next few hours in the class while they did more exercises she wondered what she must have done in her past life to be stuck with the creepiest person in the class. Honestly, other than the creepy factor he reminded her of her grandpa. It was the beady eyes. It was sort of nice in a way, like she had a piece of home with her.


When she got back to her room she found Angela sitting outside of her door. She wondered how long she had been sitting there. She looked really comfortable.


“Hi.” She opened her door. Angela got up and followed her in and closed the door behind them. “What was it that you were asking before?”


She remembered the question clearly; she just wanted Angela to ask her again so she knew that she hadn’t imagined the whole thing.


“Pam, how far do you think it’s okay to go on the 4th date?”


“Are you dating someone?” Pam put a little bit too much emphasis on the ‘are.’ Angela didn’t seem to notice.


“Yes, someone is courting me.”


“Here’s a good rule to live by, don’t anything you’re not ready for. Don’t let things go further then you want them to.” Pam felt weird saying these things, but she was literally just repeating what her mother had said to her a few years ago. She wondered if Angela felt as uncomfortable as she did when her mom told her this.


“Thank you, that was helpful.” For the first time Pam saw Angela’s face soften. It was a little creepy. She wondered if the rest of the day would continue with more creepy moments. She wished it was tomorrow already, she had class with Jim tomorrow.




.

.



“Why would you say that to me?” Kelly’s voice broke the silence of the night.


Pam’s body jumped as she was awoken. She opened her eyes and rolled over expecting to see Kelly on her phone, but the room was completely dark.


“You okay Kel?”


“You hate me, don’t you?”


Pam reached over and pulled the cord on her lamp. The room was dimly lit, but she could now see that Kelly was sleeping. She looked peaceful minus her previous outbursts. She pulled the cord on the lamp again and the light went out. She glanced at the red numbers on her clock. 2:45. Only 4 more hours of sleep. She closed her eyes hoping that Kelly would cool it with the sleep talking long enough for her to go back to sleep. She laid there thinking about yesterday. She thought about Angela and wondered who she was dating. She thought about how she forgot to call her mom back after class. Eventually she was thinking about all the things that tomorrow held. She hoped that she would be able to find Jim in the sea of people tomorrow. Then she remembered Roy. The guilt began to rise in her. She knew she shouldn’t be excited about running into Jim. It was the highlight of her day when she did, and it was eating her up inside. Coming back to her room and seeing that picture of Roy should have been the highlight of her day. She finally fell asleep with all of these thoughts in her head.


In the morning she woke up to Kelly’s alarm. Kelly reached above her head searching for the off switch on the clock.


“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”


“Um, I don’t think I do.”


“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you do.”


“Oh my God. What did I say?” Kelly looked truly upset.


“Something about someone hating you. You scared the crap out of me.”


“Did I say who?”


“Nope, I didn’t catch a name.”


“Don’t tell anyone about this.”


Pam got out of bed and grabbed her shower caddy. “Didn’t plan on it.”


“Pam, do you know what this means?” Kelly was still sitting in her bed.


“It means that you talk in your sleep?”


“In my family there is this old wise tale that says if you talk in your sleep it’s because you’ve done something bad and you’ve lost pieces of your soul. So your soul still left in your body is trying to communicate with the other pieces so they can keep in touch. If anyone finds out about this I’ll never get a husband. No one wants to marry someone that has only like half a soul.”


“I think your soul will be just fine. And it’s wives, just so you know.”


Pam grabbed her towel and was out the door before Kelly could object. After her shower when she walked back in the room Kelly was standing in front of her bed trying to decide what to wear. Pam walked over to the closet and grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans.


“You’re going to wear that?”


“What’s wrong with this?” Pam picked up the shirt and examined it.


“Don’t you have class with Jim today?”


She put the shirt back and looked at Kelly, “Yeah, what’s your point.”


“Just thought you would want to wear something more revealing.”

“It’s a history class.”


“Not for the class, for JIM!”


Pam ignored this comment and grabbed the clothes off her dresser and got dressed. She looked in the mirror. For a moment she thought Kelly was right and thought about grabbing a different shirt. It was only for a moment though and it quickly passed.


Her class with Jim finally rolled around. The room was packed. She scanned the rows as she walked down the aisle. There he was sitting with his legs on top of the chair in front of him. He was reading the newspaper and he had placed his bag on the chair next to him to save the seat. She stopped at the bag and picked it up. He looked up from the newspaper and smiled. He brought his legs back down and grabbed the bag from her and placed it under his chair.


“Hey.” His voiced cracked and she stifled her laugh with a smile.


“First class today?” She sat down.


“Yeah, I don’t sign up for anything before 11. I’d end up sleeping through half of them.”


“I hate you. I’ve already had two classes today.”


She reached down to her bag and pulled out a notebook. Her hair brushed across his leg and he wished he could run his fingers through it. That picture of her and her boyfriend popped into his head again and any desire he had was gone. He was a good guy; he could never be that guy that made somebody’s girlfriend cheat. He was going to be her friend. He was good at being just the friend.


“So this is weird, but do you know who Angela is dating?”


“I’m sorry what?”


“Angela Martin. Have you seen her with anyone?” The look on his face meant that he obviously had no idea what she was talking about. She shouldn’t have brought it up. She wasn’t a gossiper and she didn’t want to start now. “Never mind. Forget that I asked.”


“Oh, no. You can’t drop a bombshell like that and say never mind. Spill it Beesly.”


“OK, but you can’t tell anyone. I mean no one.”


He nodded his head. “I promise.”


“Angela was asking me for relationship advice yesterday. She wanted to know how far it was okay to go.”


“What?” His mouth dropped open and his eyes got wide. He was shocked and sort of excited at the same time. “You’ve got to be lying.”


“Trust me, I wish I was.”


“What did you say to her?”


“You know, just the standard no sex until the third date.”


“I knew there was a reason we hang out.”


He sat there soaking in what she had just said. Every few seconds he would turn to her and mouth ‘wow’ to her. Class started and they silently took notes. She had her arm on the arm rest and half way through the class he placed his arm on the arm rest too. She thought it was odd how comfortable it felt for his skin to be touching her skin. She figured that he didn’t even notice it, but she was glad that he didn’t move his arm. She was looking at a slide when she noticed his arm was stretched across her notebook drawing something. When his hand moved she saw the little stick figure Jim with his hands at his mouth. There was a little bubble above his head that said ‘WOW.’


She looked over at him and whispered. “I know.”


When the class ended they walked out she walked with him to his next class. It was in the general direction of home and he was good company, or so she kept telling herself.


“I’m definitely going to keep an eye out for Angela from now on.”


“We’ll have this mystery solved by Halloween.”


“Pam, have a little faith in yourself. I say next week. They reached his building and then stopped in front of it.


“Guess I’ll see you later.”


“Yeah, have fun in class.” She turned around and began walking away.


“Dinner at 5?” He called from behind her.


She spun around and gave him a nod. If she hadn’t turned back around so fast she would have seen that he was happier about this small insignificant dinner than she was.
They had planned to meet for dinner and it was all she could think about on the walk home. She felt bad that he was the only thing she could think about. The guilt rose again for a second time. She took her phone out of her bag and dialed a number.


It rang twice before he picked. “Hi.” She said softly.


“Hey. How is the big university treating you?”


“It’s okay. It’s a lot easier then I thought it was going to be.”


“Do you want to talk to mom?”


“Is she there?”


“Yeah, she’s standing right here. She’s been waiting for you to call.”


Pam had been walking without any real direction and found a bench and sat down. The older woman’s voice came over the phone. She sounded happier than she had heard her in months.


“Pam, how are you?”


“I’m good. Just finished my second day and I thought of you guys.”


“Are you making friends?”


“A few. Mostly just the people I work with.”


“Tell me about them. It’s been a while since we had any happy stories to hear.”


“Well, there’s Kelly. She’s my roommate. She’s the girliest girl I’ve ever met.”


“Dad says he hopes she rubs off on you.”


She laughed. It was good to hear them laugh.


“Lets see, then there’s Ryan. He works in the office with me. He’s the little brother that I’ve never wanted. And there’s Jim. He’s an RA in my building. He’s really nice. He showed me around last weekend. Helped me find all of my classes. Sometimes we eat together.”

She wanted to go on. She wanted to say that he made her feel whole inside. That he could make her laugh like no one could, but she stopped herself. She had only known him for two and a half weeks and even she thought it was weird that she felt this connected to him. They definitely would think this is weird. She just wanted them to know that she was finally doing better, but she didn’t want to hurt them.


The lady spoke again, but this time her voice caught in her throat and Pam knew she was crying. “You know that he would be so proud of you, right?”


Pam eyes began to water and it took all of the self control she had to keep from crying in front of the crowd of strangers walking by. “I know. I miss Roy a lot. I miss you and dad too.”


In the background she heard the man yell, “Tell Pam to call her mom.”


“Tell him I will. I love you guys. I’ll call again soon.”


“Love you Pam,” They both yelled in unison.


She hung up and kept the phone tightly clenched in her hand. She inhaled deeply because for a moment she was sure that she had forgotten how to breathe. She let out a long sigh and finally stood. She began walking towards Dunder Hall. She thought maybe she would do some reading or maybe she would just watch TV, anything really as long as she got her mind off of this. She would call her mom after dinner.



.

.



It was late, but Jim had to finish his rendering before the morning. It wasn’t that putting his plans down on paper was hard. It was just that he was easily distracted. He would take breaks every five minutes and watch TV or message a friend online. If he could buckle down he would be done in less than an hour. There was a knock at the door and he got up to answer the door.


“Hey, come in.”


Katy entered the room and immediately took a seat on his unmade bed. They had been meeting like this for a month now. He wasn’t exactly sure how it happened. He knew that she liked him from the first day they met. She was always trying to stand next to him whenever they went somewhere. Within a few days she was openly flirting with him. She was nice, and she was definitely cute, but she wasn’t his type. Other than living and working in the same place they had nothing in common. They weren’t friends; they were just two people who had sex with each other. She seemed okay with it. He was glad when she reassured him that this was all it was, just sex. But secretly she hoped that it would turn into something more.


“So, how’s your thing going?” She tried to seem interested.


“Good. It’s taking longer than it should, but it’s looking nice.” He sat down on the bed next to her and moved her legs to lay them across his lap. This is how it always started, with just the slightest touch from him and she was puddy in his hands.


An hour later he was lying in bed naked and she was standing up putting all of her clothes back on. She gave him what she thought was a sultry smile and she left. He was always a little disgusted with himself after she left, so he would always go and shower ‘the Katy’ off of him. He grabbed at towel and wrapped it around himself and headed for the shower. When he returned to his room he saw that little IM window on his screen.


bees_knees: You’re up late.
bees_knees: or not.


He knew that she couldn’t have sent them too long ago; she had to still be up.


jimjam76: I’m here.
bees_knees: Oh hey. I thought you went to bed.
jimjam76: no, just taking a late night shower
bees_knees: are you naked right now? ;-*
bees_knees: wait, don’t answer that. I’ll be up in 30 secs.
jimjam76: really?


Jim’s skin became flushed when she didn’t answer right away.


bees_knees: no.
jimjam76: what are you doing up this late?
bees_knees: still working on this stupid project.
jimjam76: not going well?
bees_knees: you could say that
jimjam76: mine’s not going so well either.
bees_knees: perfect. How would you like to take a break with me?
jimjam76: what did you have in mind?
bees_knees: just a quick walk through campus maybe to get some midnight snacks
jimjam76: you mean 3am snack?
bees_knees: exactly.
bees_knees: get dressed naked boy and meet me downstairs.


It surprised him how fast he got dressed. When he walked out of the stairwell he thought for sure he had beaten her, but there she was sitting on chair across from the office. She got up and gave him a little shove as he greeted her.


“You look nice.”


“I only do it for you.”


“Wow, you really know what to say to a girl.”


Over the past month they’re relationship turned away from anything romantic. Sure she still got butterflies when she saw him, but they were easier to ignore. He still loved being around her and her having boyfriend wasn’t going to stop that. So he too ignored the feelings and generally tried to keep the conversation as friendly as possible. Every once in a while one of them would say something that would make the other person second guess this whole friendship thing. In the end though, the friendship thing was easier. There were no hurt feelings, and they could just hang out with each other.


It was surprisingly well lit on campus. This was a walk they had many times. At least twice a week they would go out for their 3am snack. They filled the time asking each other questions.


“So please explain the Dwight/Jim relationship.”


“You really want to know?”


“Yes, I’ve got too many theories and I just need to know.”


“Let’s hear a theory first.”


“Well the first one is...”


“I thought you were joking about the theories.”


She gave him a devious smile and continued, “The first one is that the CIA has hired you to torture Dwight until he reveals what really goes on at that beet farm. Because there is no way one family could be that into beets.”


“Close, but no cigar.”


They walked a while longer and she patiently waited for him to go on.


“Are you going to leave me hanging or are you going to tell me the real story?”


“It’s kind of a long story.”


“I think we have time.”


“I have a proposition for you.” She looked suspicious. “It’s nothing bad. When we get back with our food get your project and work on it upstairs with me. Then, and only then will I recount the story of Jim and Dwight. Dwim if you will.”

“Gross, don’t ever combine your names like that.”


He laughed, “What about Jwight? No, still weird?”


“I’ll come over, but only because I’m sure Kelly would like to get a good night’s sleep.”


“Uh huh, keep telling yourself that. No woman can resist me.”


There it was, that moment. Did he mean that? Did he know that she liked him. He bit his lip wishing he could take it back. Did she know that he wished she couldn’t resist him?


When they got back he headed to her room with her and helped her carry her stuff upstairs. She sat on his floor with her fries next to her. She was picking at the fries as she tried to figure out how to glue two pieces of glass together. He was sitting on the bed, still putting off the work eating his hamburger.


“So you really want to know about Dwight and me?”


“Yeah, are you kidding?”


“OK. You know how when you come for orientation you get a roommate then.” She nodded. “Well Dwight was my roommate.”


“Is that it? Cause that wasn’t really a long story.”


“I’m getting to it. Anyways, Dwight was my roommate then. When he walked through that door with those glasses I thought for sure someone was playing a prank on me. But at dinner that night I saw him sitting by himself and I felt bad. So I hung out with him for the next few days. Sometimes he could be annoying, but sometimes he was this sad little guy with no friends.”


“Aww, who knew you had such a big heart?” He grabbed one of his fries and threw it at her. She caught it and put in her mouth. “So, that’s it?”


“I told you it was a long story and I meant it. So later that summer I get the paper that tells you who your roommate is. I open it and irony of all irony it says Dwight K. Schrute II.”


“What?!? Now I know you’re lying.”


“So move in day comes around and I’m hoping that it was a misprint. Like maybe they got confused and they sent me my orientation roommate’s name instead. But I walk in the room and Dwight is sitting there. He’s got his side of the room completely decorated with black light posters, Mötley Crüe posters, and the biggest collection of action figures I had ever seen in my whole life.”


“Nice,” she said sarcastically.


“That’s not all. Remember I said that I was really nice to him when I first met him. Well apparently he didn’t remember. That first night I go to take a shower. I don’t take my key because he said that he would be in the room. I take my shower and come back to the room and the door is closed and it’s locked. I figure, no big deal, I’ll just knock, but he doesn’t answer. So here I am, standing in front of my door in just a towel. People are walking back in forth, you know, just getting to know each other.”


“Where was Dwight at?”


“I’ll get to it. At this point I’m sort of panicking. I didn’t realize that you could just go to the office and get a new key. So I’m wandering around the floor looking for my RA, Michael.”


“Michael was your RA? Now I know you’re making this story up.”


“Eventually I find Michael. And instead of just getting me a new key he insists that I go with him. So Michael marches me through the hall down to the front office. Do you know how awkward it is to be this tall in a towel? I get back to my room and I open the door and there he is sitting on his computer playing World of War Craft. He was in the room!”


“Did he have headphones on or something?”


“No, no headphones. He said that he can selectively block things out and that’s why he didn’t hear me. He thought that while I was knocking it would be the right time to use this special power that the rest of the world calls selective hearing.”


“That’s why you do all of the pranks?”


“Yeah, that and because for the next month I would come out of my room and find pictures of me in my towel on my door. He ruined that first month for me, Pam.”


“Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t spiteful.”


“Shut it. Get back to your glass thing.”


“Oh, you’re one to talk. You haven’t touched that paper since we got back.”


“Fine, I’ll finish mine, but no more lip missy.” He got up and sat back at his table and began drawing. He looked back at her sitting on the floor still force the two pieces of glass together. He wished they could stay like this forever.



.

.



It was the beginning of November when his parents called. She was working in the office and Jim was in there with her. She didn’t pick up. She was finally getting over Roy and Jim was the one helping her do it. She still hadn’t told Jim about Roy. It was hard to explain. She could barely explain the situation to herself.


She looked at her phone again and saw that she had a new voicemail. She looked over at Jim on the computer, who was planning his latest prank on Dwight. He glanced back at her. She loved these stolen glances.


“Everything okay?”


“Yeah.” She smiled to reassure him. When he gave her that lopsided grin back she walked over to him. “So what are you working on over here?”


“I’m planning on placing all of these flyers by all of Dwight’s classes for an apprenticeship for a bear trainer. At first I was just going to do it to hear him brag about the possibility of training bears. Then yesterday I realized that I could find a spinning class or a yoga class at the gym and write something about how you have to take one of the classes in order to take the bear class.”


“And you think that’s going to work?” she looked at him hesitantly.


“I just need to get the wording right.”


She laughed and walked back to the desk. She looked at the phone sitting there on the desk and she thought back to the day, the day he left. He broke her heart when he left. She begged him not to sign up. He had mentioned it casually after she got her acceptance letter, but she didn’t really pay attention. She thought it was just a passing thought. Roy would mention things like this all the time.


She was supposed to be leaving for college in the fall and she promised to call him whenever she could. She would drive home every weekend. She had planned it all out. He had been out of school for a whole year already and he was still living at home with his parents. He bagged groceries at the supermarket. He wanted to do more for himself. He wanted to not feel like a failure. He didn’t really have any goals other then spending the rest of his life with Pam. When he had finally enlisted she wanted to spend all of her time with him when he got back from basic training. In the summer they found out that he would be leaving in December. So she put off school for a year. Instead she signed up for classes at the community college in Scranton.


He remembered those tears, the way her mascara ran down those red cheeks. He had never heard her voice sound like that. It broke his heart when he left. She clutched at his jacket and she thought if she could some how hold on tight enough he would stay. That he would know that she needed him.


“Don’t go.” The tears were soaking his jacket. “Please just stay.”


“I can’t Pammy. I’ll come back for you. I promise.”


He grabbed her tiny hands from his jacket and let go of them gently as he placed a kiss on her cheek. He would have kissed her on the lips, but he couldn’t bear to think that this might be the last kiss they had. He wanted her to remember last night when he kissed her goodnight as he dropped her off at her house. There were no tears then. That would be their last kiss – for now.


His parents were so upset. He was they’re baby. They had always figured that one day he would leave, but it would be to start a family with Pam. They never thought their son would be shipped off to war. Pam promised to take care of his parents. She would stop by a couple times a week and just sit with them. They would watch TV or have dinner together. During those days they forgot that Roy was gone. Pam held their lives together. She was their rock. Her family celebrated Christmas with them. She was family.


But in February of 2005 his parents could see it. She wasn’t the same Pam that their son was in love with. She didn’t paint any more. She didn’t draw. And one night when he called home his father told him. He told him that he had to let Pam go. Roy cried that day with his dad on the phone. They knew that if Roy didn’t end it she would just continue on this path and the real Pam might never show her face again. She had nothing to live for other than a handful of calls that he had made in the past 3 months.


“You can’t do this to her. It’s not fair. She’s young and talented. She has so much life ahead of her. When you come back you can try to start things back up, but I know she won’t leave if you don’t end it. She’ll feel like she’s betraying you by having fun. She didn’t enlist, that was you. You chose to stop your life for 12 months.”

“I know, but what if she leaves and she finds someone better.”


“Then you’ll get through it. Roy, mom and I love her, and want nothing more for her to be officially part of our family, but sometimes you have to sacrifice your needs and wants for the people that you love. She’s sacrificed so much for you already. If you really love her then you know that I’m right.”


She told him that she would wait for him and for 6 months she did. She put her life on hold to be with him, and then she put her life on hold to wait for him. His parents wanted to see her thrive, and if that meant that she couldn’t be with Roy they could accept that.


It was a few days later when she got the call. His parents had called earlier and told her that Roy would be calling today. She waited by the phone all day. She missed her writing class that morning.


When that unavailable number flashed across the caller ID she knew it was him.


“Roy?”


“Yeah. Hey Pam. How are you?” His voice sounded different. She didn’t know what it was.


“I’m okay. I miss you so much. I got your letter last week.”


“Good.”


“What’s wrong Roy?”


“I need to tell you something.”


“What?”


“We can’t do this anymore. We can’t be together anymore.” He was now silently crying on his end.


“What?”


“You need to go live your life.” He moved the receiver away from his mouth so she wouldn’t hear the sob he had to let out.


“You’re my life.”


He waited a minute before speaking. He felt like he was suffocating. He was gasping for air. He composed himself and continued.


“Pam, you’re bigger than Scranton. You’re supposed to be at college right now making friends and making art. Instead you’re at home babysitting my parents waiting for me to call.”


“I told you I’d wait.” She protested through the tears.


“What if I told you I don’t want you to wait?”


“You can’t make me stop waiting.” She was angry now.


“This is the last call that I’m going to make to you. Go do something great. I love you.”


The phone clicked and she knew he hung up. He broke her heart again. She cried in her bed for hours until she fell asleep. The next morning she did her normal routine. She went to class and then work. After work she stopped by the Anderson’s. They didn’t mention Roy and neither did she. By the end of the week, she had forgotten about it. It was like everything was normal, but Roy would never call. She got one last letter from him and inside there was only a picture. It was of him and her standing underneath some tree at the lake. On the back he wrote that he would always love her, but that they just weren’t meant to be.


In March Roy’s parents began asking about school. Dropping little hints.


“I dunno, I was just thinking that I could stay here and do another year.”


The look on his mother’s face was pure frustration.


“Dad and I have been talking. We think it’s time for you to go back to school. We talked to your mom yesterday and she said that you can still go to school. She said that you just deferred enrollment.”


Her thoughts were other places at the moment. She knew what they were doing. They were trying to get her to stop waiting for him too.


“College can wait. It’s not going anywhere.”


“You’ve put your life on hold long enough.” She always thought it was weird when Roy’s dad was so straight forward. He was normally a quiet man, like her dad was.


“Does he ask about me?” Her eyes began to water and one tear escaped before she was able to blink them back.

His dad shook his head and she let another tear escape. “It’s easier for him if we don’t bring you up. He knows that you’re okay and that’s all that really matters.”


“I can’t leave you guys though.”


“Pam,” his mother sat next to her on the couch and held her hand, “we’ll be fine. We can take care of ourselves; go take care of yourself. This is what we want. We want you to be that girl that we first met.”


When she got home that night she talked with her mom and she was a little surprised when her mom agreed. In her bed that night though, when she really thought about it, she wasn’t that surprised. Why wouldn’t her mom want her to go to school? She remembered her mom’s face when she opened that big packet with her acceptance letter and school catalog. Then she remembered her mom’s face when she told her that she wasn’t going to school in the fall. She knew her mom was disappointed, but she always supported everything she did, and this time was no different.


That next day she began getting things ready for school. She searched through her dresser until she found those papers from school. She called the office of admission and made sure that she could in fact still go. She talked to advisors and made sure all of her credits would transfer. By mid August she had her things packed in her car and she was saying goodbye to her parents and Roy’s parents.


She looked over at Jim. He seemed pleased with himself. She looked at the phone again and that little voicemail symbol was taunting her. Daring her to listen while Jim was in the room. She opened the phone and listened to the voicemail.


“Hi Pam. Its mom, your other mom. We just wanted to call and say hi. Also,” she paused for a moment as she searched for the words that she was trying to say, “Roy called today, he asked about you. He wanted your address. We said we would ask you first. So it’s up to you. Call us back.”


She put the phone back on the desk and she saw that Jim was looking at her waiting to show her the flyer. Here she was now in Dunder Hall with her new life and her new friends and her old life was pulling her back in.



.

.


She never called Roy’s parents back that night. Actually, when she went home for Thanksgiving she didn’t see them either. When she told her mom that Roy asked about her she was blunt with her answer. Her mom told her that she thought it would be best if she distanced herself from them for a bit. Roy could wait. He would be home after Christmas and they could figure things out then. It was Roy’s time to wait. She had school to worry about.


She was glad when she got back to school. She didn’t have to worry about running into anyone. In those next two weeks things returned to normal. Finals were just about over. She did most of her studying in the office because for some reason Kelly apparently didn’t need to study. Phyllis had called her that afternoon and asked her if she could work for a few hours. She thought it would be a good idea to get out of her room. Kelly had "Hollaback Girl" on repeat for the past hour. So now that she was in the office away from the music she still couldn’t get any studying done. It seemed like every 5 minutes someone new came in the office. It was like they knew that she needed to get things done and they were hell bent on stopping her. Toby showed up first.


“Hey Toby.”


“Oh uh, hey Pam.”


She hated that he always seemed nervous and sad, like he was hiding something.


“How’s it going?”


“Pretty good. Just need to print out new flyers for my study groups. Michael blacked out the J and the I on all of them and now they say ‘COME -O-N US THERE’LL BE ICECREAM!’”


“Sounds like Michael.”


“What sounds like me?”


Toby quickly recoiled in the corner as Michael walked in.


“Oh, Toby and I were just talking about Wedding Crashers. We both think that you really remind us of Vince Vaughn’s character.”


“You think so?” Michael’s chest puffed out a bit at the compliment.


“Yeah, definitely. I watched it last night and I could not stop thinking about you the whole time.”


“Watch it Pam. I’m taken.”


Toby quickly turned to face Pam. They both weren’t sure if they had just heard that.


“Who’s the lucky lady?” She was trying her hardest to keep a straight face.


“I’m not a liberty to say. It’s a secret, top secret actually.” He looked like a little kid who was thrilled that he knew something you didn’t. He snickered to himself thinking how utterly smooth he was during Pam’s question. And just as quickly as he entered the office he left.


“Interesting.”


Toby squeezed behind her chair to get to the printer. She instinctively scooted her chair in to give him more room. He waited patiently as the pages were printed. Then, for a second when no one was looking he leaned in ever so slightly towards Pam and breathed in her hair. He knew it was creepy, but he had to know what she smelled like.


He looked up from Pam’s head and Angela was standing there. She looked pissed. He hoped it wasn’t because she had seen him. He turned back to the printer and grabbed the papers and walked out without a word.


Pam looked up as she felt the whoosh of wind from Toby’s departure. She was greeted by that death glare that she thankfully hadn’t seen shot in her direction in months.


“Hey Angela.”


“Pam.” Angela just stood there. She made no attempt to continue with the conversation.


Pam watched as Dwight walked up next to Angela. She saw Dwight mouth something to Angela. Whatever he said though didn’t go over well with Angela. Her posture became more rigid. Dwight brought a hand to Angela’s shoulder and she pulled away. If Pam didn’t know better she would think it was a lovers’ spat. Then the light when on. She remembered that conversation that she had with Angela. Could Dwight be the one? Jim and Pam didn’t really follow through on trying to find out who this mystery man was. They watched her interactions with everyone, but she never gave them the slightest clue. Whoever he was he had to be a glutton for punishment. Dwight seemed crazy enough to attempt a relationship with her, and now that she thought about it, Angela seemed crazy enough to date Dwight. She shuddered when she imagined them together. Stupid imagination. She tried to shake the thought from her head. It was ingrained in her mind’s eye.


She was glad when Stanley walked in.


“Pam can you count the number of shifts that everyone has?” That Eeyore voice got her every time. He handed her a huge stack of papers and then his focus turned to Angela and Dwight. “What are you two arguing about?”


Angela and Dwight looked surprised that he had noticed. Neither of them spoke.


“Good, because I do not care. Keep your personal business private. This is not a therapy session.”


Dwight could almost appreciate Stanley in these moments. Dwight always felt that there was no place for emotions at work. It should be kept confidential. It was like showing an adversary your weakness and asking them to exploit it.


Then as if on cue Jan walked in. She thanked God when Jan didn’t walk up to her and give her more work to do. She tapped Angela on the shoulder.


“Angela, I’ve been getting complaints about your program. You can’t have a program that excludes a whole groups of people.”


“It doesn’t exclude anyone. It clearly says on the flyer that all people are welcome.”

“...to celebrate the birth of Christ. If you’re going to have a religious party you have to include all cultures and celebrations.”


Dwight suddenly chippers up. “What about Omisoka? It’s a Japanese celebration.”


“Fine, you two work together and try to make this party as inoffensive as you possibly can.”


That’s when she noticed it as Jan walked away and got on the elevator. She wasn’t taking the elevator down to her office. Pam watched from her chair as the light above the elevator indicated that it had stopped on the fifth floor.



‘Was Jan Michael’s lucky lady?’ She thought. Jim was never around when she needed to bounce her insane theories off of him.


The office finally cleared out as Stanley walked back into his office across the way. Dwight and Angela walked into the lounge and Pam could have sworn she heard Dwight say the word ‘monkey’ as the door was closing. She looked at the huge stack of paper that Stanley gave her and she began counting. It only took 4 minutes to do. She should have just left it for Phyllis. Phyllis always seemed to be just sitting here when she walked by.


She looked back down at her notes. She really liked art history. She could tell you anything about any piece of art; the medium, the subject, the significance. But she always got caught up on the dates. She wasn’t a number person. And now she sat here with a hundred different pieces that had been covered in class and she could only tell you a handful of dates.


She put her head down in defeat. At least the room was quiet.


“Spam-a-lot.”


‘Oh God.’ She keeps her head down on the desk. She knows who it is. “Hey Andy.”


“You look weary.”


She grunts in agreement. Suddenly she feels hands on her shoulder pressing hard into her muscles. She shoots up. She turns her head and sees that Andy’s hands are still hovering over her. She doesn’t say anything, she just shakes her head.


“Just thought I’d help you relieve some of that tension.”


“Thank you, but I’m good for now.”


Andy takes a few steps back and sits on the ledge of one of the counter tops in the room. He is completely unfazed by his actions and Pam’s reaction. “Well the reason I came by was to invite you to my a cappella group. We’re performing tomorrow.”


“Yeah, I think I can make it.” Other than being a little aggressive Andy was nice. She didn’t consider him a friend, but he was trying and he was her RA.


“Tremendous. We can grab a slice afterwards.”


This was quickly turning into what she didn’t want it to turn into. A date. “It’s probably best if I come back right after, just because I’ve got so much studying to do, and I have to pack still. Maybe, uh, maybe next time though.”


“That works too.” He looked crushed, but that look was gone as soon as he saw Karen walk by. He followed after her, no doubt to ask her out as well.


She looked back down at the paper and started writing out dates. She was going to get them down if it killed her. The office phone rang.


“Dunder Hall, this is Pam.”


“Dunder Hall, this is Jim.” All he said was 5 words and she was already in a better mood. “A little birdie told me that you’re studying the afternoon away.”


“Who told you that?”


“I called your cell, but you didn’t answer. So I called your room and Kelly said you were covering for Phyllis.”


“Bet you she didn’t mention that I was within inches of throwing her computer out of the window.”


“That bad, huh?”


“Yeah.”


“What are you doing after Phyllis gets back?”


“Probably head over to the library and hopefully find an open desk.”


“Well I know somewhere cooler than the library. It’s closer aaaand it has me!”


“Someone’s a little sure of himself.”


“Uh huh, yep. I know exactly what you mean. Michael has really got to cool it with that ego.”


“Well now that you mentioned Michael it’s a done deal.”


“All this time I’ve been trying to get you to do things and all I had to do was mention Michael’s name. It’s kind of kinky, but I’m okay with that.”


“No, you’re stupid.” All he needed to do was ask and she would do anything for him. “I have a story about Michael.”


“I need some quality Pam time. I haven’t slept in 3 days and I haven’t seen anyone in 3 days who has slept.”


“Where are you going with this?” she teased.


“Hurry up and get your skinny butt over here.”


“You definitely have no room to talk. I’ve seen those bird legs.”


“You know what Pam that was low. I told you that they’ll fill out by next year.”


“I’m sorry. You put down my butt and I got a little angry.”


“Don’t let it happen again.” This banter came so easy for them. If only the truth was this easy. “Call me when you get here and I’ll come down and get you. Wouldn’t want you to get lost. Architecture students get a little crazy during finals.”


“Phyllis just got here, so I’ll see you in ten.” She whispered this because the only thing Phyllis hated more than moving the position of her chair was taking personal phone calls on the office phone. “How did your meeting go?”


Phyllis was in a surprisingly good mood. She was smiling. She didn’t look pissed that Pam was talking on the phone when she walked in. “Oh Pam, it wasn’t a meeting. It was a lunch date. Bob Vance from Maintenance asked me out this morning. I called to see if they could bring me a new refrigerator and they sent Bob up with one.”


“Good for you Phyllis.”


“Thanks Pam.”


As she was walking out of the office she wondered if she sounded like that when she talked about Jim.


Pam cuts across the field so she can get to the architecture building faster. It was good to hear that Jim missed her as much as she missed him. She always felt like she needed to reassure herself that this wasn’t a one sided friendship. It clearly wasn’t, but she still had some issues with commitment, even when it came to friendships. Before she knew it she was standing in front of the old building and she pulled out her phone and called Jim. He emerged from the building a minute a later. He didn’t give her a chance to say anything. He just walked right up to her and hugged her. It was strange; they normally refrained from touching each other. They definitely weren’t the type of friends that hugged each other every time they saw each other. Even if she wanted to fight it she couldn’t. The moment his hands hit her back she was a goner. The hug lasted a little bit longer than it should have.


When they pulled a part Jim confessed, “I needed that. I feel like the walking dead.”


“For not sleeping in 3 days you still look relatively normal.”


“Relatively normal?”


“I’m guessing you haven’t seen your hair.” She reached up and flattened down a few hairs that were doing the opposite of floppy.


“So am I going to see what you’ve been working on?”


“Yeah, but if you hate it don’t tell me. I don’t think I can take the criticism right now.”


“I could never hate anything you do.” He hoped that was true. He certainly hated lots of things he did.



.

.



Pam followed Jim through the building. They passed a large sectional couch where 3 people were taking naps. The building was kind of a mess. There were large pieces of wood and foam discarded against the walls. Sometimes they would pass what looked like a completed model that someone had given up on. They passed through rows of workspaces. The people still at work would look up at her, like they knew she wasn’t one of them. It was like they could smell sleep deprivation. Then they stopped and she immediately knew which space was his. His computer was on the floor. There was an opened bag of chips lying next to a bag of shredded cheese; Jim’s sad attempt at nachos. There was the model. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it was amazingly good.


“Here it is.” He shoved his hands in his pockets; nervous that she would began critiquing it.


“It’s really good.” She lowered her face to the table and began walking around it. She loved the little detail that he put into everything.


“You don’t know what is though.”


“Nope, but I’m sure it’s doing an amazing job being whatever it’s supposed to be.”


“It’s a resort.”


“Oh, well it’s a very nice resort.”


“Here, let me show you.” He pulled out some papers and began showing her his idea. He was so passionate when he talked about it. She liked that he didn’t censor himself while talking about architecture. He talked to her like she was one of his classmates. It was different for her. Roy always talked down to her when he was explaining car related things. This was refreshing. He would look up at her to make sure she was still listening, and she was. She was hanging on his every word.


“This is really impressive, Jim.”


“Thank you.” He put his papers back in his folder. “You can sit there.” He pointed to the workspace next to his.


“Is it okay? Is someone going to come back and be pissed that I’m in their spot?”


“It’s fine. The guy who sits there is a freak of nature and always finishes his stuff early.”


She pulls out all of her notes and then her book. She sits down on the stool and goes to work immediately. He’s sitting next to her, but he isn’t working. He’s just watching her study.


“What?” She doesn’t look up. She doesn’t have to. She can feel his eyes on her.


“Nothing, I just really missed hanging out with you.” She smiles, but still doesn’t look up. She’s afraid that she’ll melt if she looks into his eyes. “So catch me up. What’s going on with Michael?”


“Oh my God. You’re not going to believe this one. It might not be true, but I think Michael and Jan are dating.”


“Jan? Like Assistant Director of Housing Jan?”


She nods her head.


“What? How is that even... what?”


“Michael came into the office today and mentioned something about dating someone. He said it was top secret. Then Jan comes in later and when she gets on the elevator she takes it up to the fifth floor instead of the basement.”


“I dunno, maybe she was just going to go talk to him in his room.”


“How many times have you seen Jan walking through the hallway? How many times have you seen Stanley walk through the hallway?”


He isn’t buying it. “I think you’re just looking for trouble.”


“OK. It’ll come out eventually. We both know that Michael can’t keep a secret, not even a top-secret secret.”


She thought about telling him about Angela and Dwight, but figured she would need more evidence for that one.


“Looking forward to break?”


“Yes and no.”


“Are you just going to spend the whole month with your boyfriend?”


“Boyfriend?”


This was the first time he had brought up her boyfriend. She never talked about him, which he thought was weird.


“Yeah, that Roy guy.” He knew it was creepy that he remembered that name after all of these months.


“Oh, Roy’s not my boyfriend.”


If Jim could kick himself in front of her he would have.


“He’s not?”


“No. We broke up last February.”


This was worse than he thought. Before he thought he was pining over a girl with a boyfriend. Now he was pining over a girl who still hadn’t moved on from someone she dated almost a year ago. How could he follow that?


“Why do you still have the picture then?” He tried his hardest to make that sound as nonjudgmental as he could.


“I’m not really sure anymore. I guess it’s more of a reminder now.” She wasn’t really sure of what it was a reminder for. She hoped that he didn’t ask. “The story of Roy... that is a tricky one.” She twirled her pen in her hand a few times before slamming it on the table.


He didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to force her to recount bad memories.


“Roy and I began dating junior year of high school, well my junior year anyways, he was a senior. I thought it was so cool that a senior was interested in me. I was kind of a nerd, if you couldn’t tell.”


“You? No?”


She rolled her eyes and continued. “Things were pretty casual that first year. We didn’t do the whole “I love you thing” until that summer.” But senior year is when I really thought it was going to last forever. That he was the one.”


Jim’s heart dropped into his stomach. What kind of idiot wouldn’t want to be the one for her?


“Then a few months before graduation he enlists in the army. I was so mad at him. He had only mentioned doing it. We never sat down and discussed what it would mean if he actually did. Then of course he got his orders and he was going to be shipped out in December. So I put off school to stay in Scranton.”


He could hear the smallest amount of anger behind her voice.


“I was supposed to come here last year. I had it all set, but I waited for him at home instead. I spent most of my free time with his parents. Then one day he calls and he says he can’t do it anymore. He told me to move on without him. He was trying to be noble, I guess. I figured that I would wait it out and he would get over his selfless gesture, but he didn’t. He never asked about me. Slowly but surely I got over it and with a little pushing I left.”


That last part was a lie. It wasn’t until recently that she began to get over him.

“Well I’m glad you came.”


“Me too. Best break up I’ve ever had. It changed my life.” She smiled at him and he thought it was the best break up too. But now he really wanted to kick himself. All of these months she was free and he never once made a move.


They both went back to work. She would steal glances every once in awhile. He was so cute when he worked. He was such a perfectionist. For the past hour he had been cutting small pieces of wood and then trying to glue them with the same amount of distance between each piece. She watched him as he measured and remeasured the distance.


He caught her off guard when he spoke. She thought he caught her staring at his hands. “I don’t know if I can survive a whole month without you.”


She did not expect that. What do you say to that? “Me neither.”


They looked at each other and smiled, then went back to work.


The sun had gone down by the time she got all of the dates down. She looked out the window and she loved how the moon made the snow on the field sparkle. She felt him standing behind her. He put his hands on her shoulder and gently moved his thumbs over the back of her neck. He knew he was pushing the envelope, but he felt like he got the green light when she agreed that this next month wouldn’t be the same. When she didn’t push him off he kept going. Why did this break have to be now? Just when things were getting good. She stayed with him a little longer that night. Just watching him work. She began to yawn at about midnight. She didn’t want to, but she knew she had to leave.


“I think I’m going to head out. Get some sleep.”


“I’ll walk you back.” He was already standing up and getting his jacket.


“That’s okay, you don’t have to. You should probably stay and finish.”


“I could use the fresh air. Plus I was thinking that I might take a nap.”


“Well if you put it that way.”


She grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder. The wind was cold and she thought she was going to freeze to death before they made it back. They had only walked a few feet from the door when he grabbed her hand in his. His hand was surprisingly warm. Within a matter of seconds she didn’t feel so cold. His mind was racing with thoughts.


‘Should I make my move now? Should I wait till we get back from break? Could I really handle not seeing her for the first month that we were together?’ That one was the deal breaker because as corny as it sounded he had planned it all out in his head. He knew where they would go on their first. They wouldn’t drive; they would walk just so he could spend that much longer with her. He would walk her back up to her room and kiss her long and hard.


When they reached one of the side doors he opened it for her, but he didn’t go in. She turned around and gave him a look.


“You aren’t going to take a nap, are you?”


“Nope, I just really wanted to walk you home.”


The next few days were extremely busy. He didn’t realize that RAs were so busy during this last week. He had to check all of the rooms on his floor with Dwight and make sure they unplugged all of their things. The only entertaining moment during the whole ordeal was watching Dwight walk around the rooms with his eyes closed because he had indeed memorized all of the rooms. He only saw Pam once. She had stopped by his room before she left.


His door was open so she only lightly tapped on the door.


“Long time no see. You getting ready to leave?”


“Yeah, I just wanted to say bye.”


He got up from his chair and he pulled her into a hug. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. She let go and he was completely stunned by this. He couldn’t move.


“See you in a month.”


“Yeah,” was all he could manage.


He sat back down on his computer chair and instant message window popped up.


KittyKaty: Let’s hang out tonight.


‘Damn it. Katy.’ He forgot about Katy.



.

.




Winter break was longer than she would have liked. Jim did help to pass the days though. They talked everyday, mostly about random things. Sometimes he would get up early and they would watch the Price is Right together.


“Ten Seventy-nine!”


“Really Jim? You think that toaster cost $10.79?”


“Maybe.”


“When was that last time you went to the store?”


“Yesterday. Splurged on some new socks.”


“Thanks for the update.”


“She was totally robbed!”


She loved these trivial conversations. Her mom walked into the room and gave her that “are you talking to Jim again” look. She felt a little nerdy when she got home. She couldn’t stop talking about Jim to her parents. Secretly though, her mom loved it. She hadn’t seen Pam so enthusiastic about anyone other than Roy in years.


Christmas came and went. She stopped by the Anderson’s to drop off Christmas presents. She silently thanked God when they didn’t bring up Roy. She knew he would be back in a few days. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid him when he got back. But the question was who would make the effort to see the other first? She knew it would be better if she went to see him first. Then she could set some ground rules. Things were just starting to get good with Jim when she left.


She was still on the phone with Jim when she heard the doorbell ring. She got up off of the couch to get the door. When she opened the door he was standing there. She didn’t expect it. Part of her was overcome with joy. He made it.


“Jim, I have to call you back.”


“Oh OK.”


She dropped the phone to her side and Roy took her into a hug. This was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. After a few seconds he let her go. He went in for a kiss and she turned her head to the side. His face dropped. She felt bad, but she couldn’t let this happen. She ushered him inside and he sat down on the couch. She took a seat across from in her dad’s recliner.


“You look good.”


“Thanks, so do you.”


“It’s really good to see you again. I missed you a lot.”


She knew he wanted her to say it back, but she didn’t. She just sat there in silence.


“Stay here with me. Come back to Scranton. We can get a house.” He knew he was being selfish. But he had spent a whole year away from her and he couldn’t stand the fact that she would be the one leaving this time.


“I can’t.”


Her dad walked in the room and did not expect to see Roy sitting across from his daughter in his living room.


“Roy, good to see you made it back in one piece.” Her dad never liked Roy, but he was always very cordial to him.


Her dad moved into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He opened up the newspaper and began scanning over the headlines. Roy looked up from his hands and back at Pam. He wanted to finish telling her how much he loved her and needed her to be with him, but he was afraid of what her dad might say or do to him.

“I should probably get going. I still have to go see my brother.”


She nodded her head and got up from her seat. “I’m glad you’re okay.”


“Is it okay if I call you later? I think we need to talk about a few things still.” Roy looked over at her dad. He was peeping over the top of the newspaper watching them.


“Yeah, that’s fine.” She closed the door behind him and turned back to her dad.


“So tell me a little bit more about this Jim guy.” She loved her dad; he was never subtle about changing subjects.


It was finally time to go back. Roy never called her. She didn’t mention to Jim what happened that day. On her first night back she and Jim had made plans to watch movies and catch up. He knew that Roy had come back. He remembered she had mentioned that he would be back in December not too long ago.


She was sitting on this leather chair he had brought up over the break. He was laying on his bed. They were watching Forrest Gump.


“Did you see him?”


“See who?”


“Roy.”


“Yeah, he stopped by after he got back.”


“Well what happened?


"Just stopped by to say hi.”


She was holding something back; he could hear it in her voice. Then they were right back where they started. She wasn’t completely over him. If she was, she would have told him about it. She never looked away from the screen. He ended things with Katy when he got back for spring RA training. She took it surprisingly well, or so he thought. She asked if there was someone else and he told her there was. She didn’t ask who, but she suspected it was that office girl he was always with.


Jim had a checklist in his head. He checked off Katy, but now he had to write Roy back in. He wasn’t going to be the rebound. He would wait it out.


He stopped by her room the next day and he wasn’t surprised when he saw that picture still sitting on her desk. He knew that was the indicator. Once she put that picture away she would be free.


Pam didn’t know what was wrong with Jim when she got back. Jim seemed distant. It was like he had forgotten about the night. They never sat next to each other. He made no attempt to touch her. Did she read too much into that night? Maybe he was just a flirty guy and he didn’t expect anything to come of that.


Over the next week things were still very much the same. They still hung out all the time, but only as friends. It was eating her up inside. She wanted to bring up that night, but if she was wrong would it make their friendship awkward? She would rather be friends than nothing at all.


Classes had started again and she was sitting in her room alone on a Friday night. Jim was on duty and every couple of hours he would walk by her room with Dwight in tow. She was studying her text book when her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but it was probably Kelly. She was always losing her phone. In fact, she had lost three phones last semester. She lost two on the bus and had flushed one down the toilet at the library. Pam never found out what Kelly was doing at the library.


“Hello?”


“Pam?” Definitely not Kelly.


“Yeah. Who is this?”


“It’s me, it’s Roy.” He sounded drunk.


“Is everything okay?” She wasn’t worried that anything was actually wrong. Roy was a notorious drunk dialer.


“I’m here, in town.”


“What?”


“I’m at your school. Kenny drove me and dropped me off.”


“Where are you at?” She was already standing up to look for her car keys.


“Univeristy and... I’m by some big building.”


“Don’t move.”


She ran downstairs and bumped into Dwight as she came out of the stairwell. Jim was standing next to him with 4 empty beer bottles in one hand and an empty bottle of cheap vodka. She looked at the empty bottles.


He held up the bottles proudly, “just doing our job.”


She smiled and for a moment she forgot why she was running down the stairs.


“Where are you off to?” he motioned toward her keys.


“I’ll tell you when I get back. Do you think you’ll still be up in a few hours?”


“Yeah, is everything okay?”


“Yeah, I’ll see you in a few hours.” And with that she was already running to her car.


She got in her car and sped off towards Roy. She didn’t see him at first when she pulled onto the street. Then she could see this black mass sitting in the snow. She pulled her car over and got out. When she reached him he was grinning like an idiot.


“Get up!”


“What, no kiss hello?”


“Roy, get up and get in the car.”


He didn’t expect her to be angry. He obediently got up and stumbled towards the car. She helped him in and then she got in on her side.


“Where’s Kenny?”


“I dunno, probably back in Scranton by now.”


“He left you here?”


Roy nodded his head. He now realized that this was a bad idea to come here.


“I just wanted to see you.”


“I don’t know if you know this, but most people call before driving two hours to visit someone.” She didn’t know why she was being so harsh with him. She glanced over at him and she knew she had hurt his feelings. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be mean.”


“Where are we going?”


“To Scranton. I’m taking you home because your brother is an idiot and he left you alone in a city 150 miles away from Scranton.” She merged onto the highway and silently prepared herself for the longest ride of her life.


The first 30 minutes were silent. She was pretty sure Roy had fallen asleep within those first few minutes. She couldn’t drive in this silence anymore, but if she turned on the radio it would wake Roy and then she would have to talk to him. But what was worse, getting bored and then falling asleep at the wheel or talking to Roy until he passed out again? She reached for the volume and turned it up slowly. Roy immediately stirred.


"Where are we at?"


“Outside of Loganton, I think.”


“Sorry about this.”


“It’s okay.”


Roy turned to look out the window. He really screwed this up.


“There’s a water bottle in the back.”


He reached back behind his seat and grabbed the bottle.


“What were you doing before I called?”


“Just studying.”


“On a Friday?”


“Uh huh.”


“Doesn’t sound like you’re having a lot of fun in college?”


“Roy, if you have something to say then just say it.”


“I think you should move back to Scranton.”


“I told you no already. Nothing has changed since I last saw you.”


She gripped the wheel tighter. Falling asleep at the wheel sounded really good right about now.


“Well what has changed since I left?”


“You broke up with me! You told me to go live my life and now that I am you want me stop and go back to the way things were.”


“I just want your life to be with me.”


“Roy, I’m not in love with you anymore.” Did she really say that out loud? Roy didn’t say anything, he just turned and stared out the window. She didn’t want to hurt him, but he needed to know.




.

.




The drive back to school went unnaturally fast. She wanted to put all of this Roy stuff behind her. She got a call from Kelly an hour ago. She was at some sorority rush party. She said that she just wanted to see where she was at. That excuse wasn’t a hundred percent believable, but Pam wasn’t in the mood to investigate Kelly’s motives. As she came over that hill and saw campus lit up against a comparatively dark city she was glad to be back to her life. No more distractions.


She parked her car and walked to the building. She wondered if Jim was really still awake. It was already 3, but Jim went to bed at ungodly hours on most nights. As she got closer to the building she could see his window. The light was on. She decided to stop by her room first and drop off her purse and her coat. When she reached her door she saw a note hanging on it.


Pam, Don’t come in. I have a friend over. –Kelly


Kelly had sexiled her at 3 in the morning. ‘You suck Kelly!’ If only she was ballsy enough to say that out loud.


She went up to Jim’s room and tapped lightly on the door.


“Hi.” After 1 am he didn’t expect her to show up.


“Hey. I hope you didn’t wait up for me.”


“Jim Halpert waits up for no one.”


“Well does Jim Halpert want to invite me in?”


“I don’t know, let me ask him – Yes, he would.” He moved away from the entrance and allowed her to pass.


She sat down on his bed. “So Kelly sexiled me.”


“Sexiled?”


“Yeah, she exiled me from room to have sex. Sexiled.” He still looked a little confused. “Dwight never sexiled you? Wait, don’t tell me. That is one image I want to keep out of my head.”


He laughed and sat down next to her. “Where were you going earlier?”


She sighed loudly. “Long story short, I had to drive Roy back to Scranton.”


His heart dropped into his stomach. She noticed that look in his eyes. “No, he came with his brother and he left him here and he was drunk and alone. So I drove him back.”


That didn’t answer any of his questions, but she looked tired and she didn’t seem like she was in the mood for 20 questions. “Are you tired?”


“A little. Four and half hours of driving will do that to you.”


He nodded. “Do you want to watch some TV for a bit? Just until Kelly is done doing, you know.” He shuddered at the thought.


“Sure,” she said through her yawn.


“You can sleep here if you want.” She suddenly wasn’t as tired anymore. “I mean, you can have the bed and I’ll take the chair.”


“You don’t have to.”


“It’s not a big deal. That’s where I get most of my sleeping done at. Just sitting in front of the TV and sleeping in that chair.”


She looked down at the bed and then over at him and then at herself. “I think we can both fit in the bed.” Although those words seemed to just roll off of her tongue it took all she had to spit them out.


“No, it’s fine. You take the bed and I’ll take the chair.”


“Are you denying your best friend the pleasure of your company in bed?” That is not what she meant. “I meant... that did not come out right.”


He laughed at her confusion. “Okay, but only because I wouldn’t want to deny you all of this.” He pointed down at his body.


She kicked off her shoes and threw her jacket on the chair. She scooted over in the bed and got under the covers. He walked over to the door and turned off the lights. He walked slowly back to the bed. Was this really happening? Could he actually do this? He grabbed the corner of the blanket and slid under the covers. She was facing the wall on her side and he mimicked the shape of her body but made sure to never touch her. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, but as soon as he heard her steady breathing he was a goner. He didn’t know that the sound of someone breathing could be so calming. His eyes were on her back and he watched as it rose and fell every few seconds. Then subconsciously or not, he inched his way closer to her until his chest was touching her back and he wrapped an arm around her stomach. She nestled up closer and he was glad that she was here.


“Night Pam.” He whispered into her hair.


In the morning she woke up to a white blur. Her face was buried in Jim’s shirt. He was still sleeping and his hands were comfortably on her waist. She breathed in his scent. Why hadn’t they done this sooner? She closed her eyes and went back to sleep. The next time she woke up Jim was gone. She sat up in the bed and glanced over the room. He left a note on her purse. She reached down on the floor. It said that he forgotten that he had a study group this morning but asked her to meet him for dinner later. She got out of the bed and fixed it. It was the least she could do. She grabbed all of her stuff and walked out of the room.


Kelly wasn’t in the room when she got back. She sat down at her computer and noticed that stupid picture. Why did she still have it up? She grabbed it and put it in her bottom drawer on her desk. She eventually got ready that afternoon. She wandered down to the office at noon because she knew Ryan was working.


“Question Ryan?”


“Yeah,” he said without looking up from his book.


“Where were you at last night at 3?” That look on his face said it all. “No Ryan. Come on. In my room? Please just lie to me and say it wasn’t you.”


“I wish I could.”


She laughed at him, he clearly regretted it, but Kelly had her hooks in him now and there was no escaping that.


“Where did you sleep last night?”


Before she could answer Katy walked in the room.


“Hey guys. Have any of you seen Jim?”


Pam lied and said no.


“Well, if you see him can you tell him that I think I left my sweater in his room.”


“Your sweater?” That wasn’t the question that she really wanted to ask.


“Yeah, you know how it is when you’re dating someone. Always leaving all of your stuff in each others’ rooms. See you guys later.” Katy got the reaction she was hoping for.


“Way to go Halpert.”


“Really?!?” She sighed. She felt like a complete idiot. Jim wasn’t interested in her. He had a girlfriend and she was practically throwing herself at him last night. It all made sense now. He didn’t want to sleep with her in the bed last night. This morning when she woke up with his arms on her waist he probably thought it was Katy. She was reading the signs wrong again.


She was lost in her thoughts. She didn’t see Karen walk in. She walked over to her mailbox and threw some papers in it. “You okay?”


“Me?”


“Yeah, you.”


“I have no idea.”


“Hey, maybe you can help me. I need someone to help cut out all of these stupid blood alcohol charts for my program next week.” Karen picked up the giant stack of papers back out of the box. “Tempting, I know. How ‘bout I throw in some food as payment?”


“Sure,” she said very unenthusiastically.


Karen grabbed the huge stack of papers and two pairs of scissors from the desk, and walked into the TV lounge. Pam followed.


“So why are you so down in the dumps today?” Karen sat down in front of the TV.


“Stupid boys. Stupid me, I guess.” Pam sat next to her.


Pam thought about what she would say to Jim later at dinner. Would she apologize for putting him in an uncomfortable position? Would she say congratulations on the relationship? Why didn’t he tell her about Katy?


Karen felt bad for her. “What are you doing later?”


“Me?” Karen nodded. “I’ll probably just get some dinner and then sit around here.”


“I know technically this isn’t allowed, but I’m going to a party if you want to tag along.”


She thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, why not?” She really needed a break from this on going saga of will they or won’t they.


The two sat there for awhile just cutting the paper and talking about people. It was nice to talk to another girl who didn’t abbreviate ‘oh my God.’ Actually it was nice to talk to a girl who didn’t say ‘oh my God’ every third sentence.


“So what’s Toby’s story?”


“He was in love with this girl for two years and things were going good between the two of them and then one day out of nowhere she ended it. He used to be a really happy person.”


Pam nodded her head. “I know that story.” Pam suddenly felt empathy for Toby. She would make it a point to be nicer to him. “What about Meredith? I never see her.”


“Meredith... she’s pretty much trashed 24/7. Last year she almost got fired, but Stanley didn’t want to spend the time looking for a replacement.”


“Awesome.”


“She’s nice though. Just drunk.”


They reached the last sheet of paper and Pam let Karen take it. It was already 4. They had really taken their time doing this. She was supposed to meet Jim in an hour for dinner. She really didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to sit across from him and have to look into those eyes. Spending more time with him wasn’t going to help her stop wanting him. She wasn’t that girl, that desperate girl who would do anything for the man she wanted. She would step back and let Jim be with the girl he had chosen.


Karen placed the last chart on top of the pile and exhaled loudly. She could see that Pam was having it out with herself again. “I was going to go downtown and get some food before the party. Alcohol and dorm food never sit well with me. We could do a little window shopping and then grab some food before the party.”


This was the out she was looking for. She could just tell Jim that she had made plans and she couldn’t go to dinner with him. She looked down at her clothes; she was wearing jeans and a hoodie. “I should probably change first.”


“If you want. It’s not really a fancy party. Just some old RA buddies and few new ones.”


“I’ll just change my shirt.”


“Alright, meet me at my room in 15 minutes.”


“Okay.”


She went to her room first. Grabbed a tank top and put a cardigan on over it. She looked herself over in the mirror. She looked at her hair up in that ratty bun and pulled it out. She was going to be someone else tonight. Someone who was just there to have fun. She was going to take a page out of Kelly’s book, not the page that was drenched in pink, of course. She put a little makeup on and she was ready to go. Now for the hard part, she had to go cancel her dinner with Jim.


His door was open when she got up there. He was sitting in front of his computer. She cleared her throat to announce herself. He was taken aback a little when he saw her. She really got dressed up for just a little dinner in dining hall.


“You look great.”


“Thanks.” She smiled, but then she remembered what she was here for. She stopped herself from entering the room.


“You’re a little early though.”


“Actually, I came up here to tell you that I can’t go to dinner with you.”


“Oh.”


“Karen invited me to this thing.”


“Oh cool. Have fun.”


“Thanks. You too.” She turned around and walked down the hall, but she stopped for a brief second. She wanted to mention Katy, but she would leave this one alone. If he wanted her to know about Katy he would have told her.


Jim was still sitting in the chair watching her walk away. Why was it always one step forward and then two steps back with Pam?




.

.



Pam was standing in Karen’s room. The room was sophisticated. It was hard to imagine that a college student lived in this room. Even Karen’s furniture seemed to look nicer than Pam’s. It was the same furniture, but everything just looked superior to her room.


“Your room is amazing.”


“Thanks, after three years of living here I really got the hang of decorating it.” Karen was standing in front of her closet looking for a smaller purse. “Did you apply?”


“For what?”


“To be an RA.”


“No.”


“You should. You would be good at it.”


“How do you know?”


“You’ve lived with your roommate, Kelly, for almost half a year and you haven’t killed her yet. Most people would have asked for a room transfer.” She finally found the small black purse she was looking for.


“Kelly’s not that bad.”


“You should think about it though. Free room and board, you can’t beat that.”


“Yeah, I guess.”


Karen walked over and checked herself out in the mirror. “Ready?”


“Yep.”


Downtown was packed with college students. They stopped at some restaurant. Pam told Karen that it would be fine if they just ate at the deli next door, but Karen insisted on this place. Pam got a hamburger and some fries. Karen got some sort of fancy salad. Even her pre-party dinner was sophisticated. When the bill came Pam offered to pay for her half, but Karen told her not to worry about it. She was just paying her back for her help.


Afterwards they walked around a bit. They went into some stores and tried on some clothes that neither of them could afford even if they saved their next 4 paychecks.

“I should probably warn you that Michael will be at this party.”


“Michael?”


“Yeah, we have a lot of the same friends.”


“You guys have the same friends?”


She nodded her head. It was sort of embarassing. No one told her when she applied to be an RA that it would completely consume her life. That she would always be working no matter what time of day and no matter where she was. Sometimes it was a buzz kill. She would be at home at a party and some kid would drink too much and she would immediately begin checking them for alcohol poisoning.


“I think I know that guy.” Pam was pointing at a guy standing in the middle of a crowd performing a song.


“That guy. You know that guy?”


“We had art studio together.”


“He’s been performing down here since before I got here. I always thought he was homeless.”


They were now standing in the back of the crowd listening to Creed sing about some midnight confession.


“He’s really good.”


Creed finished his song and the crowd dispersed. His eyes meet hers and she smiled and waved.


“Hey Creed, I didn’t know you were a musician.”


“Penny!”


“Did he just call you Penny?” Karen whispered to Pam.


“How’s that doodling?”


“Oh art, its going well.”


Creed was leaning over scooping the money he made and shoving it in his pockets like they were winnings from some backroom poker game.


“We have to get going. Just thought I would stop to say hi. Take care of yourself William.”


“You too Pam.”


Karen waited till they were out of earshot before speaking. “He called you Penny and then Pam in less than 30 seconds.”


“He’s just a strange guy.”


The party was just a few blocks away from downtown. They arrived at the house at 9. They were greeted by a clean cut good looking guy with brown hair.

“Karen, good too see you. Who’s your friend?”


“Josh, Pam.” She pointed between the two and Josh extended a hand to shake Pam’s.


“Pam,” he held on to her hand just a little bit too long, “Make yourself at home. The keg is in the back and Michael is in the kitchen making cosmos or something girly like that.”


Pam finally got her hand back and followed Karen to the back. The party wasn’t big. Just a few people in each room that they passed through. Kevin was standing next to Michael who wasn’t actually making cosmos. He was pouring sprite and vodka in a cup and then adding a few drops of red food coloring dye. His eyes got big when he saw Pam standing in front of them.


“Hey Michael.”


“Pam, I didn’t know that you knew Josh.”


“I don’t, Karen invited me.”


“Party crashing, huh? I won’t tell. Cosmopolitan?” He picked up the red cup filled with his concoction.


Normally she would have said no and she would have just got some water instead, but she wasn’t going to be that girl tonight. She grabbed the cup and sipped it. It was pretty bad. It was like drinking straight vodka with just a dash of sprite.


“Let me know when you want another one. I watched Cock-tails with Tom Cruise this morning and I think I got it all down.”


“Actually Michael, I think it’s just Cocktails, not Cock-tails.”


“That’s what she said.”


She turned away from Michael towards Kevin and took a big gulp of her drink. She cringed at the taste.


“Where’s Jim at tonight?”


“I don’t know. Probably in his room.”


“You guys are just always together.”


It made her mad that everyone assumed that she was with Jim all of the time. It wasn’t a bad assumption though. She was always with him. She wanted to change the topic fast. She didn’t want to spend all night thinking and talking about Jim. If that was the case she could have just stayed home and actually been with Jim.


Meredith walked into the room from the backyard. “Hey Pam.”


This was the first time Meredith had actually used Pam’s name. She was kind of sure that Meredith didn’t know it. “Hey Meredith.”


“You just got here?” Pam nodded. “Here’s a jello shot.” This was Meredith’s version of initiation.


Pam looked over at Karen to get some sort of approval that she should ingest this green blob in this small dixie cup. Karen shrugged her shoulders as if to say ‘it’s up to you.’ She looked down at the small cup, ‘couldn’t be worse than Michael’s drink,’ she thought.


“Bottoms up.” For some reason she was expecting the gooey slickness of the jello to make it slide down her throat, but the harsh taste of alcohol made it catch in her mouth and she was slowly chewing the jello.


Meredith already had another two in her hand. Once Pam got the first one down she put a hand out to tell Meredith that she wasn’t ready for a second one just yet or ever. Green jello would never taste the same.


Pam sat down in front of Michael watching him attempt to make something else. Karen took the seat next to her. She wasn’t sure what Karen was drinking, but she was sure it wasn’t something Michael made.


“Michael, what are you making now?” Pam was new to this drinking and partying thing.


“Long Island Iced Tea.” He said proudly as he dipped a few tea bags into a pitcher.


Karen couldn’t sit in front of Michael watching him anymore. “You want to go sit in the other room?”


“Sure.”


They got up and went to the living room. Josh was regaling the other people in the room with a story about a flag football game. When he was done he took the open spot next to Pam.


“How do you know Karen?”


“I work in the office at Dunder Hall.”


“Cool. How’s Phyllis?”


“Actually, she’s not that bad.”


“I some how don’t believe you.” There was an uncomfortable pause between them. “You want something else to drink.” He pointed to her empty cup.


“Sure.”


“I’ll be right back.”


Karen stopped her conversation with the guy sitting on the other couch. “You know he’s flirting with you, right?”


“Josh?”


“Yeah. You should go for it. You guys would be cute together.”


“Oh no, he’s not my type.”


“Type?” Karen raised an eyebrow at her. “What is your type then?”


“I don’t know.” She did know. She wanted to say tall, funny, caring, witty; all of the adjectives that described Jim, but she didn’t.


Josh came back with two cups of beer. She was kind of glad. She didn’t think her stomach could handle another Michael creation.


Pam sat on the couch listening to Josh talk about more intramural sports. She wanted to yell ‘I get it. You play sports. You’re athletic. Talk about something else,’ but the alcohol was slowly kicking in. She was giggling at his stories even though her mind was telling her that this was the worst attempt at flirting that it had ever seen. Even Andy was a more attentive flirter, which wasn’t saying much.


She finished her beer and thought that this was the perfect excuse to get out of this conversation. She waited for a break in his spiel to excuse herself to the kitchen. Michael, Meredith, Kevin and Toby were sitting at the table playing some drinking game.


“Pam!” Michael was extremely drunk by this time. “Join us!”


She took the empty seat next to Toby. “What are we playing?” They explained the rules and within a matter of minutes Pam had the hang of it. An hour later they were all very drunk. Meredith picked up a 9 and said, “Lame.”


Toby said, “Dame.”


Pam said, “Fame...I’m gonna live forever.” It was beyond her why she was singing that stupid song.


Kevin took a second to grin before saying his. “CAME! Awesome.”


Then it was Michael’s turn, “MANE!” He then realized that mane did not rhyme with lame. “I meant maim.”


Pam was a little impressed that Michael could even think of the word maim. Michael took his drinks. Karen entered the kitchen and walked over to the table.


“What happened to you guys?”


Pam giggled a little. She wasn’t sure when they all got this drunk. Was it an hour ago? Ten minutes ago? She had no real grasp on time right now.


“It’s getting a little late. Are you guys ready to go back?”


She took the lack of an answer as a yes. She pulled out her phone and called someone. “We’re ready.”


Pam got up from her chair and she stumbled a little. She couldn’t remember where she left her purse at. “Karen, have you seen my purse?”


“You didn’t bring a purse.”


“That’s right. You’re right.”


Karen ushered Michael, Pam, and Kevin into the living room. Toby was practically carrying Meredith behind them. They stood in the living room waiting for their driver to show up. Five minutes later they were saying their goodbyes to everyone. Josh walked up to Pam and slipped her his number when he shook her hand goodbye. She laughed hard, not because she thought it was cute, but because she could tell he thought it was the smoothest move.


When they walked out to the car Pam saw an unexpected face, Angela. “Why is Angela here?”


“She’s our designated driver.”


“She’s my RA!”


Angela got out of the car and stared down Pam. Pam gave her a weak smile back. They sat five in the backseat. It was a little cramped but they managed. Kevin sat up front with Angela.


“Did you guys have fun sinning tonight?”


“Shhhhut it.” Pam didn’t know if it was the best idea that Michael was insulting their driver, especially when their driver was Angela.


“And what is Pam doing here? You guys provided alcohol to a minor! That is a class C felony. FELONY!”


Kevin was already sleeping when they arrived back at Dunder Hall. Pam nudged him in the shoulder until he woke up. They all piled out of the car. Toby was still helping Meredith walk to the building. Meredith was mumbling something, but they couldn’t quite make it out.


“Did she say she thinks she has a tick?”


And then Meredith threw up on Toby’s shoulder.


“I think I’m going to be sick! That’s what she said.” It was weird to hear Michael say ‘that’s what she said’ and not have it be about sex. It kind of took away the shock of Toby standing in Meredith’s vomit, not Toby’s shock though. Nothing could take that away.


“God punishes sinners. Toby, I think you will think about over indulging next time you go out. Gluttony is a sin.”


“The perfecting ending to the perfect night.” Did Pam say that aloud? She meant to only think it.



.

.



Jim was sitting in his room waiting for Pam to get back. He was sitting on his computer waiting for her instant messenger to come back from being idle. Tonight he was going to lay it all on the line. He needed to know what they were doing. He needed to know if they were even on the same page, because honestly he questioned whether or not she liked him back. When he saw her come back from being idle on her instant messenger he was out of the door and standing in front of her door knocking in under a minute. At first he thought that maybe she wasn’t really there. Then he heard rustling in her room so he knocked harder. He was going to do this, no backing down. Pam swung the door open and chuckled as she smiled. She was drunk. He couldn’t do it anymore.


She was searching for words that weren’t there. She wanted to say something smart and witty. Something that would make him regret choosing Katy and not her, but that wasn’t fair. She didn’t really know Katy. Maybe she’s a nice girl. Maybe she’s Jim’s type and she wasn’t. You can’t force a person be attracted to you. You can’t fight biology.


She realized that she still hadn’t said anything to him. “Hi.”


‘Very eloquent,’ she thought.


“Hey.” He wasn’t sure what to do. It would be weird to walk away now. But she didn’t give him the option of walking away. She grabbed a corner of his shirt and pulled him into the room. She’s not sure what came over her. She just wanted him in the room and he was just standing there.


He’s not sure what came over him either, as he grabbed the door handle and pulled the door shut behind him. Was he hoping that she would pull him to the bed and kiss him? Then, as if she could read his thoughts, she didn’t let go of his shirt and she tugged at his shirt on the way to her bed. Her knees hit the back of her bed and she sat down on the bed. Her hand was still on his shirt.


He looked down at her and he’s thinking that he can’t do this. ‘She’s drunk. What if she doesn’t remember? It’s probably just the liquor.’ But he can’t help to think that she still looks gorgeous even when she’s this drunk. It took all of his strength not to give in.


She was giggling again and that’s when he knew he couldn’t do it, but she still hadn’t let go of his shirt.


“Lay down with me.”


He can do that. He slept in the same bed as her last night and nothing happened. He keeps telling himself that he can do it. She scooted over and he plopped himself down next to her. He looked up at the ceiling trying to think about other things. Cars, class, puppies, anything as long as he can keep himself from turning his head to kiss her. He can feel her looking at him. He couldn’t take it anymore and he looked back. Their faces were inches away from each other.


She was telling herself, ‘Just do it.’


He was silently telling her to, ‘just do it’ too.


He knew that if she made the first move it would be over. She broke the tension by trying to shove him, but he was solid, he didn’t budge at all. She did manage to push herself closer to the edge though. She did it again and he put his arm behind her to move her away from the edge. She attempted it again, but this time he put a little extra force behind pulling her back and they were right where they started again, inches away from that impending kiss. This time however, he broke the stare first, not on purpose. He just glanced down to look at her hand that is was still laying flat against his chest. She swore she could feel his heart racing, but it was probably just wishful thinking.


She knew that nothing was going to happen now, but she figured that she had him here so she could at least get a little cuddling out of this. Friends cuddle, right? She rolled over on her stomach and nudged him until he was flat on his back. She put her head on his chest and draped an arm over him. When he wrapped his arms around her she told herself that friends DO cuddle. She tilted her head up so she could look at his face. He looked back down at her and held her a little bit tighter and she closed her eyes.


They laid there for what seemed like hours. He thought that she had fallen asleep. He was studying her face, every line, every eyelash. The way her eyelids moved when he ran his hand up her spine.


“Tell me a story.”


“Oh, okay, I’ve got one. Once upon a time... there was an evil farmer named Dwight Schrute... the first.”


“No, a real one about you.” She loved feeling the vibration on his chest when he spoke, it was soothing. She closed her eyes as he ran his hand up her back again. “Just talk.” He was making her feel less drunk, and that’s what she wanted.


“You first. Tell me what you did tonight?”


“Well I drank.”


“Really? Couldn’t tell.”


“I drank with Michael, Meredith, Toby, Karen and Kevin. And then Angela picked us up.”


He could tell that she was a little sleepy. He was also sure that she had just made up one of the most outrageous stories he had ever heard, not including any story that Dwight had told him about his cousin Mose though.


“Your turn.”


“What do you want to know?”


“Tell me why you want to be an architect.”


“I don’t know. I always thought of it as art that you didn’t have to go to a museum to see. It’s free to anyone that walks by. It’s art that people inhabit.”


“I like that,” she whispered. She moved her head against his chest. “Can you stay here with me tonight?”


This was the first time she had ever asked him for something like that. He was always the one initiating things. “Yep.” He looked down at his jeans. “Can I go change first?”


She moved his head off his chest and nodded. “I need to change too.”


He got off the bed slowly and walked towards the door. “I’ll be right back.” He didn’t want to seem too eager so he took his time walking up the stairs and getting changed. He was thinking a million different things on the walk back down. This is good right? Two nights in a row. She’s the one that asked.


Pam had changed and was sitting on her bed thinking. She thought about Katy. Was she making Jim cheat on her? Were they even that serious if he was spending the night in her room? Was he just being a good friend to her? She really wished she wasn’t drunk right now. She forgot all of these things when Jim knocked lightly on the door that was cracked open.


He gave her a lopsided grin. ‘It’s all fair in love and war, right?’ she thought. She knew in the morning that she would feel bad for thinking that, but right now drunk Pam didn’t care.


He turned off the lights. The lights from outside were casting shadows on the walls. He climbed into bed and they resumed their earlier position. “Thanks for staying with me.”


“Anytime.”


Did he mean that?


“Is Kelly going to come back and be weirded out that I’m here?”


“No, because I’m sleep-xiling her.”


“You just made that word up right now.”


She laughed. “I’m allowed to make up words.”


The room went quiet for a bit.


“Jim?”


“Yeah?”


“You’re my best friend and I don’t know what I’d do without you. Don’t leave me.” Secretly this wasn’t about Katy. It was a Roy issue. She couldn’t take it if someone else left her.


“I pinky swear.” He grabbed her hand in the dark and linked his pinky with hers. He could feel her smiling against his chest. “You’re never going to be able to get ri—“


She pushed herself up on her elbows and she kissed him mid sentence. He felt like he had the wind sucked out of his lungs. It took him a moment to register what was happening, but it was like a reflex and his brain didn’t need to understand because his body did and he was kissing her back. He was trying to pull her closer, but she physically couldn’t be any closer.


Then just as quickly as she kissed him she had stopped. She had already put her head back on Jim’s chest. She was really going to feel bad about that one in the morning. Thank God it wasn’t morning yet. For now she was just going to hold onto the fact that he kissed her back.


It was funny that Pam didn’t want to think of the morning, but all Jim could think about was all of the things tomorrow held for them. Because she kissed him and not the other way around.


He woke up first. His arm was asleep and he needed to move it, but he didn’t want to wake her up. When she began to stir he shook his arm out to the side.


Her eyes slowly opened. She looked up and saw Jim looking back at her. It wasn’t a dream he was there. He bent his head down to kiss her. For a second she kissed him back. One for the road. Then it was like her conscious had suddenly overcome the drunkenness of last night and told her to stop because Pam Beesly was no hussy. She didn’t do these things with guys that had girlfriends already.


He watched as her face hardened and she wasn’t smiling this time. Her face became a little sad. “I’m sorry I can’t do this. I don’t know why I did that last night.”


“Come on Pam. Don’t do this now.”


She moved out of the bed and sat on the edge with her back towards him. She shook her head. She couldn’t tell him to leave if she had to say it to his face.


“I was drunk and stupid. And I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry.”


“Pam.” She didn’t look back at him.


“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”


But he was mad. Why was it okay for her to kiss him while she was drunk, but as soon as he did it was wrong? “You know what Pam let me know when you figure out what you want.” He got up and was shoving his feet into his shoes. “I can’t do this anymore.”


She watched his back as he left and closed the door a little harder than he normally would. She kept telling herself that she did the right thing. She was so mad at herself right now. Sober Pam wouldn’t have let things get that far. Sober Pam would have told him that she was tired last night and he would have gone back up to his room. There would have been no cuddling and no kiss. But she didn’t want to take those things back even now. She just wished they had happened under different circumstances.



.

.



It had been more than a month since they talked. She felt so bad about what had happened between them. But now she was angry. By day five, Pam realized that her anger stemmed from Jim being mad at her. He had a girlfriend that he hadn’t told her about. If anyone should be mad it should have been her. Sure she acted like an idiot, but she apologized for it. It was hard trying to avoid someone that you lived and worked with. Sometimes he would come into the office and get whatever he needed. He would look at her like he wanted to say something or wanted her to say something. Then one day she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted her friend back.


She was filing paper for Phyllis when he came in. She knew now was the perfect time. He couldn’t yell or storm away without getting a look from Phyllis. It was cowardly, but she didn’t care. He walked passed her and put something in Stanley’s mailbox.


“Hey.”


He wasn’t sure if he imagined that little word. He turned around and she was looking over at him.


“Hey.” It wasn’t angry but it wasn’t exactly happy. He walked out of the office and said, “See you later.”


It wasn’t much, but it was a start. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy. So every time he came in the office she made it a point to say hey and ask about his day. By the beginning of March things were looking up. Sometimes he would say hey first. Sometimes he asked her about her day.


That first time she had spoken to him he stopped himself from going back to how things were. From smiling at that small word. He couldn’t take getting up for another let down. But he could see that she was making an effort. Then he remembered the promise he made her. That he wouldn’t leave her. Essentially he had left her. He abandoned her when things didn’t go the way he wanted. It was childish, but he needed the space. He needed the time to figure out how to be just friends with her.


Their interaction this afternoon began just like any of the other ones.


“Hi.”


“Hi.”


“How are things?”


“Good.” He was going to leave, but he saw the sadness in her eyes. “What are you doing for dinner?”


“Me?” She looked around to make sure no one was standing off to the side of the office that she couldn’t see.


“Yeah.”


“Nothing.”


“Well, me and Andy are going at 6 if you want to come.”


“Sure.”


“See you at 6 then.”


She was nervous when 6 arrived. She was standing by the office waiting for Jim and Andy. Andy arrived first and she was thankful. She knew that this would be easier if they weren’t left alone for together for too long.


“Parmione!”


“What did you call me?”


“You just remind me of Hermione from Harry Potter. You have cute hair.”


“Thank you,” she hesitantly said. Did saying thank you further encourage this behavior?


“I haven’t seen you around in a while.”


“I’ve been busy with school.”


Jim came out of the stairwell and he gave a little wave. “Ready?”


Andy and Pam nodded and they followed him out the door. In the dining hall they sat at a booth. Pam slid in first and Andy sat across from her. But here was the big moment. Would Jim sit next to her or would he sit next to Andy?


Jim looked at the open spots. He slid in next to Pam. He wanted to prove to himself that he could sit next to her. That he could just be friends with her. Dinner went off without a hitch. There were no awkward moments. It was like they had erased that night. But it was still hanging there in the back of their minds. They were good at pretending that it never happened. Within the next week things went back to normal. They ate dinner and sometimes lunch together, but there was no flirting this time. Just two friends enjoying each others’ company.


It was the week before her birthday when Katy was finally brought up. They had gone on a late night run for food. They were walking back to Jim’s room when they ran into Kevin and Michael.


“What are you two doing up so late?”


“What are you two doing up?”


“We were confiscating paraphenilia from the sttttupid David Brent kid that lives down the hall.” Michael had a real hate for David. Maybe because David was like a younger version of Michael but worse. He did all of the things Michael wished he could do.


“That sounds fun.”


“What are you guys doing?”


“Just eating some food and going to watch a movie.”


A smile spread across Kevin’s face. “Is that what you guys are calling it now?”


Jim thought about pretending that he didn’t know what he was talking about, but the longer this was drawn out the more awkward it would be with Pam. “No Kev. We’re really watching a movie and eating food.”


Pam held up a bag from Wendy’s.


“But I bet you guys will be doing it later though.”


Pam, who remained silent until now, couldn’t take. It was like torture, her thoughts were eating away at her and then she blurted it out. “Didn’t you know that Jim has a girlfriend?”


This seemed to shut up Michael and Kevin. It confused Jim, but it worked. Kevin and Michael could see the irritation in Pam’s eyes. They weren’t the brightest men, but they knew jealousy when they saw it. They turned and walked the other way without a word.


Jim turned back around and opened his door. He sat his keys down on his desk. “They can be really stupid sometimes.” He looked back and Pam was still standing outside. “What’s wrong?”


“Are we not going to talk about this? I mean, I know we’re really good at pretending that things don’t bother us, but I can’t do this anymore. Not about this.”


“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” He took a few steps toward her.


“KATY, Jim. Your girlfriend, Katy.” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she had been holding this in for so long that practically yelling her name was cathartic.


His eyes went big. She didn’t have the story completely right, but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to act as if she hadn’t just brought up Katy. “Who told you that?”


“Why didn’t you tell me?”


“Tell you what?”


“About Katy?” She hated that he tried to play dumb.


“’Cause it was weird and I was ashamed of what I was doing. We were just getting to know each other and I knew you would think I was an asshole for doing that. I thought I was an asshole and I was the one doing it.”


It was then that she realized that she wasn’t talking about the same thing he was talking about.


“So you guys aren’t dating anymore?” She now knew that they weren’t dating, but she wanted him to say it. To make it true.


“We were never dating. It was just...” He couldn’t say it out loud.


“When did you guys stop – you know?” She moved into the room.


“Sometime before break.”


Katy had totally played her. She felt sad for her. That she would have to lie to keep Pam away from Jim.


“Sorry if I sounded angry before. I just want us to be honest with each other.”


“It’s okay. I understand.”


“No more secrets from now on. We’re friends. We’re supposed tell each other things. Even if those things make us look like assholes.”


He smiled. They were okay. No one stormed out of the room. No one yelled, well sort of. They talked it out and everyone was okay. Why didn’t they know how to do this two months ago?


She finally walked all the way into the room and she handed him his food. He wondered if this changed anything between them. Was this the reason she was so upset that morning? He wanted to ask, but he liked how they were right now. If he asked would they go back to that night? If he kissed her would she act weird again? Maybe they just weren’t meant to be anything more than friends. He was going to give it time though. See where things go.


She walked over to the TV and turned it on. She was thinking about Katy. She kind of wanted to confront her, but she didn’t have the guts to do it. She sat down on his chair and looked at him. She knew that when she shot him down it hurt him more than she previously thought. She had painted herself as the victim in her mind and that couldn’t be farther from the truth now. She wanted to kiss him and apologize. She wanted to go back to that night and wake up in the morning and not pull away, but she was going to have to give him time.



.

.



Jim was sitting next to Pam on his bed studying. Pam was sketching something for class.


“Did you have anything planned for your birthday?”


“My parents are coming in the morning to take me to lunch, but that’s it.” She stopped sketching to look at him. “Why?”


“Nothing. Just wanted to take you somewhere.” He smirked.


“Where?”


“Let’s just say that I had to make reservations. So wear your best party dress.” He playfully hit her on the leg.


She put down her sketchbook and turned to the side to face him. Her eyes were big with excitement. “Where?” She was never good with surprises.


“You’ll just have to wait till tomorrow.”


“Please Jim. I promise to act surprised tomorrow. I just need to know.”


“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you beg before.”


“I’m a legendary beggar. Don’t make pull out the big guns.”


“The big guns?”


She made a sad puppy dog face.


“That face does nothing for me.”


“Do you have a heart of ice?” She sighed in defeat and turned back to her sketchbook to start drawing again.


She would steal a glance at him every few seconds. She wanted to know so badly. “Please,” she squeaked.


“Nope.”


She placed two hands on his shoulder and gently shook him. “Please Jim.”


“Not going to happen.”


“Then I’m leaving.” She stood up.


“Are you serious?”


“We’ll if I go to bed now then I won’t have to think about it.”


“You’re kidding!”


She grabbed her bag off of the floor and shoved her sketchbook in it. He looked at her and expected her to be smiling, but she was serious. She was really going to go to bed.


“I thought we were going to stay up till midnight. Enjoy the last few moments of teenage hood.”


She looked up at his clock. 11:55. “Fine, but I’m not going to enjoy it.” She sat back down next to him.


He finished reading his page and then put down his book. “I can’t believe you were going to leave.”


“What can I say? I’m secretly a huge brat.”


“That’s not a secret.”


She groaned and leaned on him. “You’re no prize yourself.”


He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t feel bad, we can’t all be Jim Halperts.” It was nice to just sit next to her without wanting to kiss her. That was a lie, because the urge was still there, even if it was small. “So do I get to meet your folks tomorrow?”


“Did you want to meet them?”


“Why wouldn’t I want to meet the people that created the worst beggar in the world?”


“Shut up. You can come to breakfast if you want. They wanted me to bring Kelly. That was not going to happen though. Could you imagine the things she would say?”


“Can you imagine the things that I’m going to say?”


“Fine, go right ahead. But just be warned, my dad can be kind of scary.”


“Does he make the same face that you do? The pouty face? ‘Cause that was kind of scary.”


“You’re supposed to be nice to people on their birthday.”


“It’s not your birthday for another 2 minutes!”


“Maybe your clock is behind 2 minutes!”


“You have a point.”


They sat silently watching the clock tick down the final two minutes.


“Want to know my favorite thing about this last year?”


“Sure.”


“This.”


That urge wasn’t so small anymore. He pulled her closer to him.


“This is my favorite part too. Happy birthday Pam.”


“Thanks Jim.” She gave him a little squeeze on his waist and got up. “I’m going to go to bed now, but I’ll see you in the morning.”


“What time?”


“11ish.”


Jim was up early. He was nervous about meeting her parents. He wanted to make a good impression. He spent a lot time changing in and out of clothes. He wondered if this was what it was like to be a girl. He finally decided on a pair of jeans with a long sleeved dress shirt. He rolled up the sleeves. He thought it said ‘I’m casual, but I’m not a slob.’ He shook his head at himself as soon as that thought popped into his head. What was he turning into?


He headed down to Pam’s room a few minutes early. She had the door open. Their room seemed different. Not cleaner, but less Kelly and more Pam.


“Did a little redecorating?”


“Just a little.”


He walked over to a series of drawings hanging on the wall. “Did you do these?”


“Yeah, a few months ago. It was a project. Thought I’d show my parents that they aren’t paying for nothing. Just giving them their moneys worth.”


“Is that Ryan?”


“Yeah, and that one is Kelly. And the last one is...”


“That’s me! When did you do this?”


“February.”


They weren’t talking in February. It was right after that night. “Did you draw that from memory?”


She nodded her head. She was a little embarrassed that he now knew that she had memorized his face.


“Can I have that?” He wasn’t sure why he wanted it, maybe because it was a tangible representation of their friendship and the possibility of something more.


“I don’t know. They’re a set; you can’t separate them. Do you really want Ryan’s face on your wall?” She teased. He didn’t laugh. He just stared at the drawing. “Yeah, you can have it, but after my parents see them.”


“You’re really good at the whole art thing. Why are you just doing art history?” It was weird for him to think that there was this whole other side of Pam that he knew nothing about. He looked away from the drawing and glanced around the room for anything else new.


“Easier I guess. I’m just not that inspired. I couldn’t support myself with art so I majored in the next best thing.”


He wanted to tell her that she was better than she thought. That those drawings were proof, but her phone rang. She was talking to her parents. He turned back to the drawing. He thought that it was funny that she had memorized her face because he had memorized her face too. Sometimes right before falling asleep he would see her face as clear as day. Like she was right there with him.


“They’re here. Downstairs.”


She looked excited, he was still very nervous. Pam’s parents were parked right in front of the building. She skipped over to the car and Jim hung back a bit. He felt like he was intruding on their personal time. Her mother got out of the car first. Pam looked just like her. Then her dad followed. His smile, that was Pam’s smile. She hugged each of them. Then the attention turned to Jim.


“Mom, Dad, this is my friend Jim.” Her dad gave a knowing smile.


He shook her dad’s extended hand and then her mom’s hand. “It’s great to meet you.” His voice cracked and he hoped that they didn’t notice.


“It’s nice to meet you too. It’s good to know that Pam was actually talking to someone on the other line during Christmas break.” Her dad said.


“Thanks dad.”


“You guys ready to go?”


“Yep.”


They got in the backseat and Pam gave him a reassuring smile. She could see that he was nervous. At the restaurant Jim sat next to Pam, right across from her dad. He wasn’t sure if she was joking last night about her dad being scary. He was afraid to look at him in the eye, but that became hard to do when he started asking him questions.


“What’s your major Jim?”


“Architecture, sir.” Should he have said ‘sir’? Was that too kiss ass of him?

“Pam’s grandfather was an architect. That’s where I think she gets her artistic side from.”


“She never mentioned that.”


“He didn’t do anything big, just some hotels, things like that. He designed the house that I grew up in, the one we live in now.”


Pam glanced over while talking to her mom. They were deep in conversation. It was cute. It was like two old friends catching up. She was happy that he agreed to come.


Their food had come and the conversations slowed down a bit. Pam’s dad watched as his daughter and Jim casually ate off each other’s plates. He turned and smiled at his wife and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.


When they got back to Dunder Hall Jim felt confident that her dad didn’t totally hate him.


“Thank you for the meal.” Jim said to Pam’s mom.


“No problem, it was good to finally meet you.”


“You should come and visit this summer. I’d love for you to see the house.” Pam’s dad said. He couldn’t believe that he was afraid of this man two hours ago.


“Absolutely. Have a safe drive back. Pam, I’ll see you in a few hours.” He waved to them and went back inside.


“He’s a nice young man.” Pam shot her dad a surprised look.


Her dad never approved of any boy. Not even her fake boyfriend in the second grade. She walked her parents up to her room. She cringed a little when she saw the door open. Kelly was back. She didn’t even have time to introduce her parents before Kelly was up and hugging them.


“Oh my God, you must be Pam’s parents.” Pam’s dad wasn’t a big hugger, but he lightly patted Kelly on the back.


She showed her parents’ around her room. There wasn’t really much to see. She walked her parents down to the office and showed them where she worked. Then they wished her happy birthday a few more times and said their goodbyes.


She hurried back to her room and sent a message.


bees_knees: they really liked you.
jimjam76: your parents are great.
bees_knees: thanks.
bees_knees: when should I get ready for tonight?
jimjam76: sometime before 5.
bees_knees: where are we going?
jimjam76: can’t tell you.
bees_knees: is it just us or will other people be there?
jimjam76: I cannot disclose that at this time.
bees_knees: does Kelly know?
bees_knees: Kelly does know, doesn’t she!?!?
jimjam76: Pam, don’t ruin the surprise. We only have like 4 more hours.
bees_knees: :-(


Waiting for her surprise was grueling. Her and Jim had left the hall at 4:30. She felt a little overdressed, especially since Jim was wearing the same thing he had on earlier. She was sitting in his car looking out the window, trying to guess in her mind where they were going.


When they pulled up to Chuck E. Cheese’s she laughed out loud. Why didn’t she guess this? He kept talking about the end of her childhood and this just fit perfectly with that.


“Awesome choice.”


“I knew you would like it.”


He got out of the car and opened her door for her. Inside she saw a table set up for her. Everyone from Dunder Hall was there except for Stanley, Meredith, Katy (thank god), and Phyllis.


“Jim, you didn’t have to do all of this. It’s too much,” she whispered to him as they neared the table.


“Its fine, my buddy Mark works here.” He pointed to a guy behind the counter.


She took the empty seat by Kelly and Jim sat next to her. He grabbed the birthday hat sitting in front of her and he put it on her head.

Pam watched as Michael came back to the table carrying two pints of beer. “I didn’t know they served alcohol here.” Karen said from across the table.


“I did. This Chuck E. Cheese’s got their liquor license in 1992.” Pam noticed the flash in Angela’s eyes when Dwight spewed out this fact.


“How would you even know that?” Michael sounded annoyed.


Jim leaned over and whispered in Pam’s ear, “Sorry that Michael and Dwight are here.”


“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She picked up the hat in front of him and placed it on his head. “Just so you know, this is by far the coolest birthday party I’ve ever had.”


Michael walked over with his camera. “Get together you two and say body shots!”


Neither of them said it, but Andy yelled it for them.


“Can you send me a copy of that?” Pam asked Michael.


“Yeah, if you want I can photoshop myself into the back. It’ll be just like the three amigos.”


“We could just take another one with you in it.” Jim wondered what happened to Michael during his childhood that would make him think that he had to go back and photoshop himself into pictures from a party that he attended.


Jim looked over at Pam. She was smiling from ear to ear as she talked to Angela. He knew all this planning was worth it if Pam was smiling while talking to Angela.


Later Andy was chatting up Kelly and she was eating it up. Ryan was hitting on a girl in an animal costume. Kevin was killing at skee ball while Dwight showed Jim the proper way to toss a skee ball.


The girls were sitting at the table with Michael and Toby as they picked at the remain pieces of pizza.


Pam stole a glance at Jim who was now tossing the ball like a basketball and she watched as Dwight again showed Jim how to toss the ball again.


She was glad that no one was paying attention when Angela asked her a question. "You like him, don't you?"


"He's my best friend," but Angela knew what she meant, she didn't have to say it.



.

.



Pam was sitting at her desk finishing up some last minute studying. She couldn’t believe that the year was almost over. In a few days she would be back in Scranton, roommate free but Jim-less. She thought about a year ago and how she was still trying to get over Roy. It was funny how fast things changed for her. She shut her notebook and turned on the TV. This was her last final and it was her easiest. She just had to write an essay. It wasn’t really something you could cram for. You either knew the information or you didn’t. She flipped through the channels. Cocktail was on and she immediately thought of Michael trying to mix drinks.


Her phone rang and she reached over to get it. “Jim!”


“Pam.” He sounded tired.


“How’s your stuff going?”


“Horribly. I can’t concentrate. I just want to sleep.” He whined.


“I can go get you some coffee.”


“I think my body might shut down if I have anymore caffeine.” He paused for a moment, “Actually I was wondering if you would come upstairs and keep me company.”


“I could do that. I just finished studying so I’m free.”


“Great. I’ll be the one sitting in my room dozing off at my drafting table.”


“I’m going to change first, but I’ll be up soon.”


“You are seriously saving my life.”


“Don’t worry; we’ll work out some sort of payment plan.”


She hung up the phone before he could answer. She grabbed a pair of cloth shorts and put on her Dunder Hall t-shirt. She grabbed her sketchbook and one of Kelly’s magazines. She wasn’t sure what things you should bring to keep yourself busy while keeping someone else awake. She knocked on his door. She could hear him groaning as he walked over to the door. His eyes were bloodshot. He didn’t say anything as he ushered her in the room. She sat in his chair behind his drafting table. He took a seat in his computer chair. He swiveled around till he was facing her.


“You look awful.”


“I feel awful.”


“Why aren’t you in the studio?”


“Because I couldn’t get anything done there. I just kept wandering around looking at everyone else’s stuff and then I would go back to mine and I hated the way it looked. So I left.”


“Are you going to finish in time?”


“If you keep me awake I will.”


“I feel like there’s a lot of pressure on me.” She put her legs up on his TV stand and leaned back. “Pressure is gone.” She smiled.


Her smile made him relax. “Thanks for coming up.” He rolled his chair back around and went back to work.


“What should I do?”


“Just talk to me when you think I’m getting sleepy. I’ve never fallen asleep while talking to anyone.”


“Okay.”


She reached over for his controller. She flipped through the channels without any real purpose. She stopped on Steel Magnolias. She figured it would keep her entertained. He laughed every time she said the lines along with the characters.


She watched as his head dipped and then popped back up. “Jim! Wake up! Quick, tell me your thoughts on space colonization?”


He turned his chair back around. “Why would you even think of that?”


“I heard Dwight discussing it with Michael yesterday. I just want to know if you guys have similar views on this pressing issue.”


“Well obviously I think it is essential for the survival of the human race. After the beets from planet Schrute takeover that is.”


She laughed. He was awake now. He turned back to his model.


A few hours later she watched Meet Joe Black. He looked back at Pam and he knew she was getting tired. It was already 4.


“You still okay to stay up?”


“Not tired at all.” She lied. “How are you?”


“The need for sleep is now gone, so that’s a plus. It’s nice to have someone in the room that isn’t building a model too.”


“Are you almost done?”


“Almost. It’ll be another hour.” He watched her yawn. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”


“Uh huh. Totally fine. I could stay up for another 8 hours if you needed me too.”


She was trying so hard to stay awake. She flipped through the channels. There had to be something on that would keep her awake. Saved by the Bell. Perfect.


He heard her breathing change. He looked back and she was sleeping. Controller still pointed at the TV like she was mid click. He watched her sleep for another 5 minutes until she woke back up. He acted like he had just turned around, like he hadn’t been watching her.


“What?” He was staring at her.


“You fell asleep.”


“What? No, I didn’t. I was watching Saved by the Bell. I can tell you what just happened.”


“Yeah, because you’ve seen this episode before.”


She was pretty sure that she hadn’t fallen asleep. She only closed her eyes for a second.


“I heard you snoring.”


“No, you didn’t!”


“Ok, I didn’t, but you were definitely sleeping.”


“I was resting my eyes.”


She sat in the chair determined to prove him wrong. She was tired, but she could wait another hour. She picked up the magazine and opened it to a random page. She read about lotions for ten minutes and then she was out again.


He looked back at her and he saw her sleeping. He got out of his chair and grabbed his comforter from his bed and put it over her. She moved a little, but she continued to sleep. He finished up his model 30 minutes later. The sun would be up soon. He knew he should lie down, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching her sleep. This was the moment that all of those feelings came back. The moment when he knew that he wanted to be with her again. To kiss her. Her eyelids opened slowly.


“Sorry. I tried to stay up.” She noticed the blanket on top of her. “Thanks,” she tugged at the comforter.


He didn’t say anything, he just looked at her. She felt her face go red. She looked down at her hands. “Did you finish?”


He finally broke his gaze. “Yeah, just a minute ago.”


She yawned. “I think I’m going to go to bed.” She stood up and placed his comforter on his bed.


He got up from his chair and he moved towards her. He was standing right in front of her.


“Jim?” she whispered like she was out of breath. She could have sworn he was going to kiss her, but it never came. Instead he wrapped her up in his arms and she hugged him back.


“Night Pam. Thanks for all of the help.”


“Yeah, sure.” As she walked out of his room saying that she was a little disappointed was a huge understatement. Was she reading the signs wrong again?


He didn’t know why he didn’t do it. He was right there. She wanted to. He just couldn’t make his body move the way he wanted it to. Stupid lack of sleep. But at least this was a step in the right direction, because now he knew what he wanted.


After Jim’s class he came home and slept. Pam came back from her final and she began packing. It was a little sad to be leaving. It was nowhere near as sad as Kelly made it sound.


“I’m going to miss you so much!”


“Yeah, I’m going to miss you too, Kelly.”


“No, I mean, who will give me advice about Ryan? You’re not going to be there and then Ryan is going to break up with me?” She dramatically threw herself down on the bed.


“I think you’ll be fine.” Pam walked up to her and extended a hand to help her up. “You can call me sometimes if you need to talk.” The keyword being sometimes. “And I’ll see you in August.”


Kelly grabbed her hand and got back up. “Can I come visit you?” She asked excitedly.


“Umm yeah. Sure. Are you sure you want to fly out just to see me though?”


Kelly hugged her. Then she went back to packing. Kelly’s flight left at midnight. She remembered a few days ago trying to explain the difference between 12AM and 12PM to Kelly.


When Kelly was done they took her stuff to mail it home. Then they had one last dinner together. The ride to the airport was short. Pam put her car in park and helped Kelly get her pink luggage out. She flashed back to first seeing that pink luggage rolling behind Kelly. Pam looked up and Kelly was already crying. She didn’t know what came over her when her eyes became watery too.


“Don’t cry Kelly.”


“I’m just going to miss you SO much!” She said through her tears.


“I know. I’ll miss your sleep talking too.”


“You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

Pam laughed. Distracting Kelly from her current thoughts was an art form that Pam had mastered. She hugged Kelly.


“Call me when you get in.”


“I will.”


She watched as that pink blur mixed in with the crowd. She got back in the car and drove away. Her phone rang.


“Where are you at?”


“I’m dropping Kelly off at the airport. Did you just wake up?”


“Yeah, and I thought about you when I woke up.” Jim was trying to pick up his game. He wasn’t going to let her get away this time.


She laughed at the thought. “You’re dumb.”


“Really I did. I woke up and I found your magazine. Ten ways to please your man? I didn’t know you were that kind of girl.”


“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”


“Anyways, I know you’re leaving tomorrow afternoon, so I think you should stop by so you can stock up on your Jim time.”


“And you don’t need to stock up on your Pam time?”


“I never said that.”


When she got back she just went straight up to Jim’s room. He was sitting on his bed watching TV. She crawled into bed next to him.

“What are we watching?”


“Just crap TV.”


She playfully nudged him in the rib. He smiled back at her. He put his hand around her waist and she shivered as he seemed to find the only piece of exposed flesh with his finger.


“Cold?”


“What?”


“You shivered. Are you cold?”


She didn’t think he would have felt that. “N—Yes. I dunno.”


He grabbed the blanket and covered her legs. He returned his hand to her waist and quickly found that bare piece of skin again. He moved his finger across it and she shivered again. He laughed.


“You’re doing that on purpose.”


“Doing what?” He did it again and she shivered again.


She hit him in the shoulder with her hand. He grabbed her hand and he moved her with the other one on her waist till she was sitting in his lap. He took a minute to just look at her. To commit this to memory.


“Just do it already!”


“Jeez Pam. Thanks for ruining the moment.” He laughed and he moved closer till his lips just barely grazed hers. He could feel her breath on his lips.


She couldn’t take all of this teasing. She moved her head back and he pulled her back and their lips finally touched. His finger tips pressed into her back and she let out a small gasp. She wasn’t sure where to put her hands at. Then she scolded herself for thinking about her hands when Jim was kissing her.


Someone cleared their throat. It wasn’t Jim and it wasn’t Pam. She really didn’t want to break this kiss, but she knew someone was standing in the doorway and curiosity got the better of her. Jim reluctantly let her pull away. He could see Dwight standing in the doorway before he cleared his throat.


“Hey Dwight,” Jim said calmly.


“Jim. I would suggest that you close your door before you fornicate in front of the whole floor.”


Angela moved into view and gave Pam a disappointed look.


Pam couldn’t help herself. “What are you guys doing up so late... together?”


She saw that disappointment quickly turn into nervousness.


“Dwight was helping me, uh, he was lending me a screwdriver. Not that it’s any of your business.” She was flustered now.


“Have fun with that.” Pam smiled. She felt Jim’s hands tighten at her sides and she tried not to laugh.


“Dwight, could you get that door. Thanks buddy.”


Dwight closed the door and Jim could already imagine the conversation that was being had between Angela and Dwight.


“Where were we?” He pulled her closer again and kissed her. He wasn’t going to let Dwight ruin this moment.



.

.



On her first day back her mom had sent her to the store to pick up milk. When she first walked in she looked for Roy bagging groceries, but that was just an old habit that she had yet to break. She spent most of this last year away from all of the things and places that reminded her of Roy. It wasn’t that old feelings came with seeing these places, they didn’t. She just couldn’t help to think about how he was doing though. She just wanted him to be doing okay. She realized she was a little harsh with him, but it was the only way she knew how to get through to him at the time.


She walked to the back of the store and grabbed a gallon of milk. She turned and there he was. It wasn’t her imagination playing tricks on her. Roy was really standing next to a shopping cart with his mom. His mom saw Pam first.


“Pam!”


Roy had just noticed her now.


“Hey.” She wasn’t sure if she should still call her mom. She felt like that should be saved for Roy’s future wife, not some girl that he dated for a few years.


Roy smiled weakly at her.


“When did you get back?”


“Just a few hours ago. My mom was making me a cake, but she didn’t have any milk.” Just a few hours before that Jim was pressing her against her car kissing her goodbye. Now was probably not the best time to think about that.


“I bet they’re glad to have you home.”


She nodded. The three of them stood there awkwardly waiting for someone to speak first.


“I, um—I really have to get back to with this milk.”


“Oh yeah.” Roy’s mom motioned her head towards Pam while looking at Roy.

“Pam?” Roy finally spoke. “I was wondering if we could get some coffee. Just talk.”


“Yeah, sure. Just call me.” She figured she owed him that much.


She was a little surprised when Roy called an hour later. She thought that he would give it a day or two, but she agreed to meet him the next day anyways. They were going to get coffee. Nothing fancy.


She arrived first. She sat at a small table by the window so she could people watch until he got there. He was running late. He was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago. She checked her watch. Maybe she heard him wrong yesterday. Did he say 3 and not 2? She grabbed her phone and called him. No answer.


“Hey Roy, Its Pam. I’m here and you’re not. I was just checking to make sure everything is okay. I’ll be here for another 30 minutes. Give me a call back. Bye.”


She closed her phone and sipped her coffee. Her phone rang.


“Hello.”


“Hey. What are you doing?”


“Thinking about you.” She smiled.


“That’s so weird, I thought you were. What are you really doing?” As much as Jim would like her to think about him all day he knew that she actually had a life.


“Don’t be mad, but I’m meeting Roy for coffee.”


“Oh.” He did not expect her to say that.


“Just to talk, as friends.”


“That's cool.”


“I should have told you, but it was really last minute. And I didn’t want to make it a big deal.”


“You don’t have to explain. I trust you.”


“I’m sorry. I should have told you.”


“Pam, don’t apologize. You’re allowed to have friends; even if those friends are ex boyfriends.” Sometimes Jim would get a glimpse of this frail version of Pam. The one that apologized profusely after pulling away from him, the one that didn’t think she could be an artist.


“Are you sure?” She said meekly.


“Yes. I promise.”


She fiddled with her napkin.


He needed to change the subject. “I was actually calling to see what you were doing this weekend.”


“I’ll probably just be sitting at home.”


“Does driving up to Philly sound tempting at all? Before you say no let me just remind you that I’m here.”


“You’re right, that is very tempting. What’s in it for me?”


“In two weeks I’ll return the favor and come to Scranton.”


“Deal!”


“That was easier than I thought.”


She glanced up from her napkin that was now in twenty pieces in front of her and saw Roy walking up to the door.


“Roy’s here, can I call you back after.”


“Yep.”


“Talk to you later.”


“Hey Pam?”


“Yeah?”


“I miss you.”


“I miss you too.”


Roy was standing in front of her as she said the last part. He looked sad. She put her phone back in her purse and motioned for him to sit.


“Did you get my message?”


“Yeah. I was running errands and they took longer than I thought they would.”


“So how have you been?”


“Not great, but not bad. You look really good.”


“Thanks.”


She remembered when conversations with Roy weren’t so hard. Not that they were ever easy, but this was almost painful.


“I’m sorry about that night. The way I told you that I didn’t love you anymore.” She felt bad saying it again.


“Did you mean it?”


She nodded her head.


“What happened to us Pam?”


She wasn’t sure if he wanted the truth or some flowery version of it.


“You left and it devastated me.”


“I told you I would come back for you.”


It was true, but it still didn’t change things.


“What if I hadn’t called to end things? Would we still be together?”


She shrugged her shoulders. She hated to think about it. Would she have stayed in Scranton if he never broke up with her? Would they be planning a small wedding right now? Part of her said no, but there was a huge part of her that knew that she didn’t have the courage to try anything new and she would have stayed.


“Who was that on the phone before? Was it your boyfriend?”


They hadn’t really sat down and decided that they were going out yet, but what else would you call him? My best friend that I make out with. My best friend that helped me move on from you. The guy who gives me butterflies every time his hand grazes mine.


“Yeah.”


“Is it serious?”


“He’s my best friend.”


Roy shifted in his chair. He was definitely more confident than when he first walked in the place. It was like he sucked up all of Pam’s confidence for himself. He knew exactly what to ask to make her feel small and uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure why she let him do this to her or if she even had any control over it.


“This isn’t easy for me, Pam. I came back and nothing was the same.”


“You did this though!” She felt a little bit of rage boiling inside of her. She hated that he was playing the victim. “You can’t go back. We can’t change anything.”


He thought she would pity him for his last comment, but now she was yelling at him. He didn’t understand how she didn’t feel the same way he did.


She got up from her chair. “We shouldn’t have done this. This was a bad idea.” She didn’t wait for him to answer; she just walked out to her car. She wanted to tell him that he couldn’t use emotional blackmail to get her back. He was so thickheaded.


When she got home she called Jim back. She told him everything, except for the part where she called Jim her boyfriend. She felt like that should be a different conversation, not a conversation that she would associate with Roy. Jim just listened. He didn’t say anything bad about Roy, he just let Pam talk. He wanted to call him an idiot, but who would that help?


She couldn’t wait for the weekend. Just a few more days. She tried avoiding the places that the Andersons frequented. She was successful until Friday. Her mom had made her go to the fabric store with her. Roy’s mom didn’t sew so she never expected to run into her there. Her mom was getting some fabric cut when Pam saw Roy’s mom walking towards them.


Pam smiled at her. She hoped that would be enough of a greeting for her, but she kept coming towards them.


“I didn’t expect to you see you two here.”


‘What a load of crap,’ Pam thought. Her mom was at this store every other day.


“Just picking up some material to reupholster my dining room chairs.”


“Pam, I forgot to ask Roy how your date went the other day.”


Pam’s mom turned to look at her daughter. She forgot to mention to her mom that she had met Roy for some coffee.


“Actually it wasn’t a date and it didn’t go so well. I’m sorry Mrs. Anderson.”


The last part was what stung the most for Roy's mom. She didn’t call her mom this time. “It’s okay. You gave him a chance at least and that’s all we could really hope for.”


She placed a hand on Pam’s shoulder as she walked past them. She and her husband pushed Roy to let her go and now she was really gone. She wasn’t their’s to love anymore.


“What was that about?”


“Roy asked to me to get coffee with him, nothing else.” Her mom looked still looked suspicious.


“Did you tell him about Jim?”


“Yep. He didn’t seem to really care though.”


“Pam.” Her mother sighed.


“I know. I shouldn’t have gone. But I felt bad for hurting him before.”


“You can’t be friends with everyone, you’re just going to have to let this one go. Focus on Jim. You still like Jim, right?”


“I really like Jim.” She wasn’t sure how she could emphasize that any more. “Is it still okay to go to Philadelphia tomorrow?”


“You’re an adult now. You can go anywhere you want just as long as you don’t do anything stupid.”


“Note to self, don’t elope tomorrow.” Her mom hit her in the arm.


She nervous on the drive to Philly and the heat wasn’t helping. She kept checking her directions. She had never driven to Philadelphia by herself. When she got in Jim’s neighborhood she called him when she couldn’t find the street.


“I’m lost!”


He laughed. “How can you be lost? The directions were perfect.”


“That’s not helping.”


“Where are you at?”


“By a park.”


“Yeah, you went way too far.”


“Really?” She asked nervously.


“No, just take the next left after the park and then the following left and you’ll be on my street. I’ll go stand outside in case you get lost again.”


“Thanks.”


She could see him standing in the driveway. She wished he had waited inside. She wanted to fix her hair before he saw her. She smashed down some of her curls to reduce the frizz she got from having her window rolled down. She got out of the car and he jogged up to her and picked her up and kissed her hard.


She really liked him.



.

.



It had only been a week since they last saw each other, but if it was physically possible he would have kept her there all day kissing her.


“Hi,” she muttered against his lips.


“Umph,” he groaned, unwilling to stop kissing her yet.


She nipped at his bottom lip before she pulled her head back. He sighed loudly.


“Are we going to stand here all day?” It would have been perfectly fine if they had.


“Pam, this is how we greet all of our guests.” He leaned down and kissed her softly.


“Is the whole family going to greet me like this?”


“No, I told them about you and they all passed, so I’m just picking up the slack.” He linked his hand with hers and pulled her towards the door. “So this is it. Nothing fancy, just your standard house. Over here we have a living room. No one lives in it, so I’m not sure why they call it that.” They walked out of the room and into the kitchen. “We have the kitchen and the dining room right here. Out back is my dad, but we’ll get to him later.”


“Later?”


“We’re only half way done with tour.” They walked back into the hall and entered a room. There was an old lady sitting in a chair reading a book. “Pam, this is my grandma. We call her Nammy. You can call her Nammy.”


She smiled at the old lady as she looked up from her book. His grandma got up from her chair and approached them. “Nice to meet you Pam.”


“You too Nammy.” Pam laughed a bit at the nickname.


“Sorry for interrupting you,” Jim said as he pulled Pam out of the room.


“He’s the only one that calls me Nammy,” she said to Pam. “My name is Pearl. You can call me Nammy if you want though.”


Jim looked back at his grandma who was smiling at him. Pam was holding in her laugh. They made it further down the hall before he said anything. “She’s just always giving me a hard time.”


“She is awesome.”


They walked up the stairs. “My brother’s room is behind that door. I would show you but it’s literally the most disgusting room you’ve ever seen.” He pointed to the open door across the hall. “This is my parents’ room. My mom is really into white wicker furniture if you couldn’t tell.”


A tall blonde woman walked out from the bathroom in the room. “It reminds me of the coast.” She extended her hand and Pam shook it. “I’m Jim’s mom, Larissa.”


“I’m Pam.”


“Thank you for putting up with all of my son’s crap.”


“To be fair, I just give it right back.”


She looked over at Jim and smirked. “You’re staying for dinner, right?” Pam nodded. “Good, I have some great stories to tell you.”


Pam laughed as his mom walked down the stairs. “If you couldn’t tell, my mother and my Nammy hate me.”


They walked down the stairs and rounded the corner. “Is this the big finale?”


He opened the door and they walked down the stairs. The room was surprisingly bright considering it was in the basement. “This is my room. I have a desk, a chair, and a bed.”

“And a couch! I’m a little jealous of your room.” She walked around the room taking in all of the small details. The pictures on his desk. The different books he had on his shelf. She ran a finger along the length of his bed. He walked up behind her and wrapped an arm around her stomach. He moved the hair from her neck and began planting kisses down the side of her neck until he reached her collarbone. She closed her eyes and just listened to the sound of him kissing her. Then she realized where they were. They were at his house. His parents were upstairs along with his grandma.


“Jeez Jim. You’re like a horny teenager.”


“I’m trying to make up for a week of not kissing you.”


“What are you going to do in two weeks then?”


“You don’t even want to know.”


He turned her around and kissed her on the mouth. He pulled her body next to his. He took a step back and she took a step with him. He took another step and she followed. He lowered himself until he was sitting on the bed and she was leaning down to kiss him back. He leaned back further and she followed him again. Jim’s hand roamed over her back. He slid a hand under her shirt and pressed his fingers into her back until she was laying on him. He rolled her over making sure never to break the kiss. Her shirt was riding up and he couldn’t stop himself from running his hand over her stomach. He felt her stomach muscles twitch under finger tips. He smiled against her lips.


“What’s so funny?”


“It’s good to know what makes you tremble.” He was kissing her neck now.


“What makes you tremble?” There was a creak above them. “Stop.”


“What?”


“Your parents are upstairs! Your grandma is upstairs!”


“They’re not going to come downstairs.”


“They won’t have to. They know I’m here and we’ve been gone way too long. What if they think we’re having sex?”


“We’re not though. We’re just kissing.”


He kissed her chin and she stopped talking. She heard the wood above them creak again.


“They know. I can feel it.”


“Know what?”


“What we’re doing down here.” It was hard to argue with him while he was kissing her and running his hands over her waist.


“They don’t care, I promise. Five more minutes, please.”


“Five more minutes, but if I get weird looks when we get back upstairs you’re going to get it.”


They were standing on the steps and Pam was asking Jim if her hair was messed up. He put a hand on top of her hair and tousled her hair.


“Thank you. That helped.” She shook her head to undo Jim’s help. “That was definitely 10 minutes.”


“I never said that I would keep time.” He kissed her one more time before opening the door.


She half expected for Jim’s parents to be waiting for them, but they weren’t there.


“Let’s go meet my dad.”


She followed him through the kitchen out the back door. His dad was sitting in a lawn chair tossing a tennis ball across the yard.


“Dad, this is Pam.”


“Pam? The famous office girl, Pam?”


“That would be me.” She relished the fact that he talked about her to his parents.


“Nice to finally meet you. I’m James.”


A smile spread across her face. “Jim never told me he was a James the second.”


“Actually he’s the third.”


“Wow, you just out did Dwight!”


“And that’s why we waited to meet my dad last.”


An old dog walked up to Pam with the tennis ball in her mouth and dropped it. She leaned over to pet the dog.


“That’s Sammy. She’s the other girl in my life.”


Jim’s dad threw the ball again across the yard and Sammy casually walked over to it.


“What are you guys doing today?”


“I was going to take Pam to Center City. Eat some lunch. Some other things.”


“Well, have fun. Dinner should be done when you get back.” His dad lifted the lid of the grill next to him. He had a whole chicken propped up on a beer can. “You ever had beer can chicken?”


“Can’t say that I have.”


“You’ll like it.”


“If I don’t then I’ll just put it on Jim Halpert the third’s plate.”


“I like her Jim. She’s a keeper!”


She hit him with her elbow. “Did you hear that? Keeper. That’s me.”


“He likes everyone.” His dad shook his head no.


“That kind of hurt.” She joked.


“Deal with it Beesly.”


She followed him back into the house. “Let me just tell my mom that we’re going and grab a few things. Then we can head out.”


Pam had never really been around Philadelphia. She had been to the Phillies’ ballpark, and she had been to the Museum of Art, but she had never just walked around Philadelphia.


Jim parked his car when they got to Fairmount Park. They walked around just taking everything in. It was beautiful. There wasn’t anything in Scranton that was like this place. This place was massive and amazing. They sat on the grass and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that he had made at home.


Afterwards Jim showed her around town. Just walking. It was nothing extravagant. He just pointed out some of his favorite buildings. It was the perfect date.


“I’m in love with Philadelphia.”


He laughed. “Are you sure it just wasn’t the company?”


“Maybe.”


When they got back to Jim’s house his parents were finishing up dinner. They went back downstairs to his room. They sat on his couch.


“This is awkward that I have to ask this, but what are we? I mean, who did you tell your parents I was?”


“I told them that you were my girlfriend.”


She was relieved. She thought about how bad it would have sucked if he would have said that she was just his friend. “Good.”


He began kissing her and one of his hands moved to her breast. It was the first time that he had copped a feel. He looked at her face to make sure it was okay. She didn’t look upset and she didn’t pull away. Jim heard the door to the basement open. He jumped to the other side of the couch.


“Dinner’s ready you guys,” His mom yelled down.


“They don’t care, huh?” She teased.


The family ate outside on the patio table.


“How was your afternoon?”


“Good, we ate some lunch, got married, and Pam’s having my baby.”


“That’s nice.”


“Did Jim tell you about his airplane phase?” Pam shook her head. “Well, when Jim was 4 he wanted to be an airplane when he grew up. So one day he strapped some wood to his arms and jumped out to the tree. He broke his arm in three places.”


Pam grabbed Jim’s hand under the table and squeezed it.


“We asked him what he wanted to be the next day and he said a car.”


“Aw, I think you would have been a cute car.”


They sat around the table for a few more hours and Pam just talked with his family. It got late and Pam was getting ready to leave.


“Are you going to be okay to drive?”


“It’s just two hours.”


“My dad said you could stay.”


“I don’t think that will end well.”


He wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll sleep on the couch. And it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before.”


“I really have to go.” She really didn’t want to go.


“Call me if you get tired. Actually just call me when you get on the highway.”


“I will.”


He walked her out to her car and kissed her one last time. She waved as she drove away.


He walked back in the house and his dad was waiting for him on the couch. He sat down next to him.


“Is she the one?”


“I think so.”



.

.



Two weeks later Jim had come to see Pam. There wasn’t really a whole lot she wanted to show him in Scranton. She showed him her high school and they drove by the Houdini Museum. Nothing had a special meaning for her here. They parked the car to walk around downtown. She really didn’t care where they were, just as long as she was spending time with him. They had to leave the house because Pam’s dad was bogarting all of Jim’s time. It was nice that they got along, but she hadn’t seen him in two weeks.


She held his hand tightly as they walked in front of store windows. Sometimes they would go in, but mostly they would just walk on by.


“How do you like the electric city?”


“It’s growing on me.”


“Let’s go somewhere else.” She said pulling him towards the car.


“Where do you want go?”


She shrugged her shoulders. “Can we go back to your house? Maybe you can give me a tour of your bedroom.”


“Yeah, I’m sure my dad would love that.”


“I really do want to see where you sleep though.” He smirked.


“I’m sure you do.”


They continued driving back and forth every two weeks. Although Jim enjoyed spending time with Pam in Scranton, he always looked forward to the weekend more when she was coming up to his house. The days spent in Scranton were spent getting to know each other better, just talking. The days spent in Philadelphia were spent getting to know each other physically and he could never get enough of that.


It was the beginning of July. Her mom had just brought in the mail. She handed Pam an envelope. She read the return address. She wasn’t expecting anything from them. She tore the envelope open. The letter was to inform her that a space had recently become available for the study abroad program in Rome. If she was still interested in going she would have to get back to them by the end of the week. She was speechless. She was going to go to Rome! She wanted to pick up the phone and tell Jim the good news, but then would it be good news for Jim? When she applied they weren’t even talking. She never imagined that she might not want to go because she would be dating Jim.


“What did you get?”


She handed the letter over to her mom. “Oh Pam, this is so great.”


Pam didn’t say anything back. She could see that she wasn’t exactly happy about it.


“You’ll figure it out.”


She decided that she would wait to tell Jim when she went to see him on the 4th. She figured nothing said ‘Happy 4th of July’ like ‘I might be leaving to Rome for a semester.’


He could tell that something was wrong when she got there. She wasn’t as talkative or playful with him. When he was kissed her he could tell that she was thinking about something else. They were sitting on his porch and she was staring up at the sky even though the fireworks hadn’t started yet.


“You okay?”


“Huh?” She snapped out of her daze.


“You seem distracted.”


Her face dropped. “I have some bad news.”


He waited for her to continue.


“I got a letter the other day, and I got accepted to study abroad during the fall semester in Rome.”


“Pam, that’s amazing!” He could tell from the look on her face that she didn’t think it was amazing. “Why aren’t you happy about this?”


“We just started dating and I don’t want to leave you. It would be four months apart. We haven’t even been together that long.”


He scooted closer to her. “This is seriously an amazing opportunity. Go. I’ll wait. I waited most of last year just to kiss you once. I think can I wait four months for you when I know that you’re coming back to me.”


“I don’t know.”


“If you don’t do it, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”


He didn’t really want her to go, but he knew that it would be good for her. He could sacrifice four months of holding her if it meant that she would finally take a chance on something. She needed to be pushed outside her comfort zone.


He leaned his shoulder against her side. She pushed back. She knew deep down that he would say this, but part of her wanted him to ask her to stay. There was no risk in staying, staying was comfortable.


“When do you leave?”


“August 10th.”


“Do you think we could switch to seeing each other every week instead of every other week?”


She pushed harder against him. “I don’t know. What if I get tired of you?”


“If anyone is going to get tired of anyone first, it’s going to be me getting tired of you.”


She kissed his jaw and he knew that he could never get tired of this. She had stopped pushing against him and she was just leaning on him now. “Do you really think we can do this?”


“Absolutely.”


She believed him. If he said that it would work she knew it would.


“So, can I convince you to stay the night?”


“Maybe.”


“I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman. I’ll take the couch.”


Later that night he did take the couch. It was weird to sleep in the same room with him and not have him next to her. She got up when the house got quiet and she crept over to the couch.


“Jim.” She whispered.


“What’s the matter?” He said sleepily.


“Scoot over.”


She couldn’t tell in the dark, but he was smiling. He turned on his side to give her room.


“This is stupid. Why don’t we just sleep in the bed?”


She cuddled up next to him. “Because you promised your dad that you would sleep on the couch.”


“...And I never said that I would do it alone. I love the way you think.”


He laid there with her body so close to his. His hands grazed over her skin, just trying to memorize every part of her body. He wasn’t kissing her, he was just breathing steadily on her neck. She felt like she might die. Over the next month she always looked forward to her visits to Philadelphia more than Scranton too. Each time he took it a little farther, but never too far.


On her last week he took her out to dinner and then they went back to his house. They were sitting downstairs in front of his TV. He saw that she was cold and he grabbed an extra blanket from his closet. She loved how attentive he was. And that’s when she decided that she was going to sleep with him. It was amazing how fast her nerves kicked in. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was. She wasn’t even this nervous the first time with Roy.


He was standing in front of the TV holding a stack of DVDs. “I got a few movies for this special occasion. Just your classic ‘girl goes to Rome and falls in love’ stories. Don’t go to Rome and fall in love though.”


She gave him a mischievous smile. Jim handed her the movies. Gidget Goes to Rome, Roman Holiday, and... “The Lizzie McGuire Movie?”


“What? It’s a movie about a girl that goes to Rome and falls in love. It clearly fits the category.”


They watched Roman Holiday first. Really though, he watched it while she sat next to him trying to find the right moment to make her move. She kept biting her bottom lip and he could see it out of the corner of her eye. He got up to put the next movie in. She knew that it was now or never. He sat back down and she moved closer. She got up on her knees and began kissing his neck. He could feel her body shaking against him. She had her hands balled up into fist at her side.


“You nervous about something? About leaving?”


“No.” She didn’t know why this was so hard. She pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor. She started kissing him and she was tugging at his shirt. He could feel her hands shaking against his chest. He reached up and took her hands in his. She relaxed a little. She pulled his shirt off. He could feel the shaking again. He didn’t want to, but he slowly pulled away. He knew that right now wasn’t the right time. He kissed her on her temple and sat back against his headboard.


She sat there kind of confused. He reached a hand out and pulled her next to him. “You don’t want to?” She sounded let down.


“I do, believe me I do. I just—I think we should wait till we’re both ready.” He kissed her again on the temple. “Thank you though.”


Then all of these thoughts flew threw her head. Was she really not ready? She had definitely thought about having sex with Jim, but she never imagined that she would be so nervous. Was that her body’s way of telling her ‘not yet’?


She reached for her shirt. She felt awkward now. He watched her sitting there having this inner monologue. She slid it over her head and he stopped her.


She looked back at him. “Do you want to now?”


He shook his head, but he pulled her into a kiss anyways. She wasn’t shaking this time; he knew it was because there were no expectations anymore. When she pulled away she was breathless. How did he do that to her?


He reached over and moved a strand of hair that was hanging in front her eye. “Sorry about before. I just wanted to do that before I left.”


“Don’t be sorry. Seeing you in your bra is present enough.” He was only kind of joking about that last part. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.”


“Yeah,” She stood up and pulled her jeans down. She was standing in her underwear in front of him.


“You’re—um wow.”


She reached across the bed and grabbed his t-shirt that she pulled off of him and put it over her head. She walked over to her bag and pulled out a pair of shorts.


Jim sighed loudly. “I thought you were going to sleep in those for a second.”


He thought maybe she was slowly torturing him for stopping her earlier. But it wasn’t anything new. She had slept in one of his t-shirts before. He just felt like the pause between undressing and putting the shirt on was longer and more drawn out. He couldn’t be sure though, because normally he wouldn’t stare at her while she did it.


He got up and changed into some sweat pants. He walked back over to the bed and turned off his lamp. When he was finally lying down she put one of her legs over his. She laid her palm flat against his bare chest. He knew it, she was torturing him. This low humming noise came from her mouth.


‘Jesus Pam,’ he thought. He told himself that he could fight through this. He was in control, not the urges. He closed his eyes tightly and prayed for sleep to come.


Saying goodbye in the morning was harder than she thought it would be. She really wanted to just say never mind and stay. She spent her remaining days with her family and double checking that she wasn’t forgetting anything.


When they arrived at the airport it finally hit her. The excitement. She was really going to Rome.



.

.




Pam looked out the window. She had never actually flown anywhere before, so being on a plane for almost 9 hours was a little nerve racking. She tried sleeping, but it didn’t go well. She would fall asleep and then she would feel the plane jerk or imagine the plane jerking and then she couldn’t go back to sleep. Pam shifted in her sit. The man next to her was having no problem at all sleeping. He was moving in on her space. She leaned against the window. She hadn’t looked out yet. She thought that looking out had a good chance of giving her an anxiety attack.


Eventually she couldn’t stay up any longer. She slept through the bumps, real or fake. When she woke up she saw that the man next to her had shifted in the other direction and was now leaning against a young man. She looked at her watch. She had slept for 2 hours. She wondered if she could make herself go back to sleep. She was so tired before, she wasn’t sure how 2 hours could have suddenly rejuvenated her. She looked at the guy that was being squished by the man between them. He looked annoyed, but he wasn’t doing anything about it. Pam offered him a comforting smile, and he only sort of returned it.


“He was doing that to me early too?” She pointed at the man.


“I tried pushing him, but he just keeps coming back.”


“I’m Pam, by the way.”


“Oscar.”


“Going on vacation?”


“Actually I’m studying in Rome for a semester.”


“Me too! What are you studying?”


“Political Science.”


“I’m just there for the Art.”


They talked for the remaining time. It helped Pam stop thinking about the fact that they were still on this plane. When the plane landed, after what Pam thought was some difficulty, she stuck with Oscar for the rest of the way. They shared a car to the apartment that they would be living at. It made her feel good to know that she wasn’t alone.


Pam stared out the window the whole way there. The city was inconceivably beautiful. She would point things out to Oscar and he tried his hardest to be as enthusiastic about it as she was, but he was never good at showing excitement anyway.


Once they got the keys for their rooms they finally went their separate ways. Pam reached her room and found that her roommate beat her there. It wasn’t a big place; it was definitely bigger than her room at Dunder Hall though. There was a small living room, a kitchen and two bedrooms off to the side. Pam placed her stuff down at the entrance.


Her roommate was short and had blonde hair. “Are you Pam?” Pam didn’t expect the British accent.


“Yep.”


“I’m Dawn. I asked the girl downstairs for your name.”


Dawn was sitting at the small kitchen table drawing. “Are you studying art?”


“Yeah, are you?”


“Art History.”


“Nice. I took the room on the right. They’re exactly the same except one is on the left and the other is on the right. Same view and everything.”


Pam picked up her bags and opened the door to her room. The inside of the room was even smaller. There was a twin bed, a night stand, and a dresser. She put some sheets on the bed and laid down to take a nap. When she woke up it was 6am. She was going to have a hard time getting used to the time change. She walked out of her room and the apartment was completely quiet. She was starving. She decided that she could wait a few more hours to go to the store to pick up some food.


She spent the next hour unpacking her clothes and trying to hook her computer up to the internet. After an hour of trying and failing to get it hooked up she gave up. She got cleaned up and headed down to the front desk.


“Do you know where the closest grocery store is at?” Pam asked the receptionist.


“Down the block.”


Pam waited for the lady to elaborate, but she never did.


“In which direction?”


“Either.”


She sighed loudly hoping the lady would know that she was no help at all. She walked out the entrance and tried to remember if she had seen a market on the way here. She didn’t remember one so she went in the other direction. The street was relatively empty. She reached the next intersection and she looked down both ways. It didn’t seem like there was a market or a store anywhere close in that direction so she continued on her straight path.


After 15 minutes of this she began to get worried. She should have gone in the other direction. She wasn’t lost. She had been on the same street, so that wasn’t the issue. But she actually thought that she might pass out from starvation before she reached the store. She walked for another five minutes before she got the courage to ask someone for directions.


There was a little lady standing in front of a building. She kept translating the sentence in her head. ‘Can you tell me where the grocery store is?’ Over and over again until she was standing in front of her, but when her mouth opened she only said grocery store and she didn’t even say it in Italian. The lady just stared back at her until Pam spit out.


“Alimentari?” She hoped that was the word for grocery store. Her brain had suddenly stopped working.


The lady grabbed Pam’s arm and walked her down to the end of the street. When they hit the corner the lady turned and pointed down the other block. Pam nodded and said thank you. She crossed two intersections. When she hit the second street she could finally hear people. Watching all of those people in the crowd was overwhelming. She walked cautiously through the crowd into the store. It was a long walk and she felt like she should make up for it by buying more. So she did. When she left she wasn’t even sure what she had actually bought. She got a taxi because she wasn’t up for carrying all of this stuff back. When the taxi stopped she wasn’t at the apartment. She wasn’t sure where she was. She told the man the address again. He nodded his head and pointed at the building.


“No, 85 Via Poli. This is not 85 Via Poli.”


The man nodded again and pointed at the building. She got out of the car and reluctantly paid the driver for taking her to the wrong address. She walked further down the block and looked for another taxi. One of her bags was beginning to tear. She heard the bag rip one more time before she saw some bread tumble to the ground.


She was lost and she was hungry. The bread staring up from the ground at her was mocking her. She kicked the bread. She proceeded down the street looking for a taxi when she realized that she had seen this street before. The taxi driver had dropped her off one block over from her apartment. She turned the corner and there it was.


She walked in the building and saw that stupid receptionist staring at her. “Thanks,” she said snidely. Dawn was still sleeping when she got back. Pam began putting her food away. She was so mad that she didn’t even want to attempt cooking. She grabbed her remaining loaf of bread and tore off a piece from the end. She walked back into her room and she looked at the computer. She just wanted to talk to someone from home, but it was 3am there. She tried the internet again and still nothing.


She couldn’t do this anymore. She had never been this frustrated in her whole life, and that was saying a lot because she lived with Kelly and she was pretty frustrating. She also dated Roy, and he was the king of frustrating her. She knew that her parents wouldn’t be up, but Jim might be. She walked over to her purse and pulled out her phone card. The other line rang a few times and she suspected that he was sleeping until she heard that groggy voice.


“Hello?”


“It’s me.”


He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. “Hi,” he said quietly. “How’s Rome?”


“I want to come home.”


He could hear the tears that she was holding back. “It’s only been a day though.”


“I can’t do this. I was lost for most of the morning and I’m hungry and I’m tired, even though I slept for most of the night.”


There they were, those tears. He could hear them now. “It’ll be okay. Just give it a few days.” He heard that little sniffle over the phone and it was painful that he couldn’t hold her. “Have you even seen the Colosseum yet?”


“No.” She wiped the tears from her face. She wasn’t sure why she was even crying.


“Could you really leave Italy before seeing that?”


“I dunno.”


“What about the Sistine Chapel? The Pieta?” She didn’t answer. “Go see all of that stuff and then tell me you want to come back early.”


He was right. She let a morning of bad luck ruin her day. “Thank you,” she said.


“Welcome.”


“Were you sleeping? You should go back to sleep.”


“I’m fine. I don’t have anything to do tomorrow, so I can stay on the phone as long as your phone card will allow.” He yawned.


“Go to bed Jim. I miss you.”


“I miss you too.” He pulled his phone away from his face so she wouldn’t hear the yawn. “Call me, anytime, day or night. I’ll answer as long as my new girlfriend isn’t in the room.” He laid back down and closed his eyes.


“I never liked that girlfriend of yours. I hate her stupid white sneakers.”


“You don’t like the sneakers? I love the sneakers.” His voice faded by the last word.


She looked down at those sneakers and they were no longer white after the walk this morning. “Go to sleep, and I’ll try to message you later.”


“Night Pam.” He didn’t fight it; he couldn’t because he was half asleep right now.


She walked back into the living room and Dawn was going through the fridge. She heard Pam behind her and turned around.


“You went shopping?”


Pam nodded her head.


“Did you get lost? I got lost when I went a few days ago.”


It helped knowing that she wasn’t the only one. Pam smiled a defeated smile at her.


“Are you hungry?”


“I’m starving!”



.

.



Jim walked into Dunder Hall. This was his third year moving into this place. Each year he was less excited about returning to live here. This year more so. He had gotten used to Pam sitting behind that desk and now there sat Phyllis. There would be no Pam until the beginning of next year behind that desk.


“Hey Phyllis. How was your summer?”


“Oh, it was great!”


Jim had never seen Phyllis in such a good mood. He was sure that her face had never had a smile on it for that long. He was annoyed that she was so happy. He grabbed his key for his room and headed up. He was on the second floor this year. No Dwight this year.


When he came down to Stanley’s office Michael was sitting behind the desk. He was hoping that he hadn’t missed something, like Stanley quitting and Michael taking over. He couldn’t handle that right now.


“Where’s Stanley at?” He sat down across from Michael.


“He went to the bathroom. I’m just holding down the fort until he gets back.”


Ryan walked in and was also not expecting to see Michael.


“Didn’t you graduate?”


“Sore subject.” Jim smirked.


“I’m a super senior!” Michael seemed almost proud that he could now put the word super before senior.


“Most people just call it a 5th year senior.” Jim explained.


“Don’t be jealous that I’m living the good life for another year.”


Dwight walked in, he looked different. “Hey Dwight, are those new glasses?”


“No.”


“Those are clearly new glasses.” Ryan chimed in.


“Nobody asked you newbie.”


Everyone else came in and took a seat and waited for Stanley. Katy sat next to Jim and her leg was touching his. He moved it away and scooted over. Andy walked in last with nowhere left to sit.


“Hey Kitty Kat, scooch a cheek.”


Katy tried to move closer to Jim and Andy stopped to her. “I meant the other way. I need to catch up with my bro-ham.”


She made room for Andy and was now squished against Ryan. Ryan smiled and raised an eyebrow at her, she disregarded it.


Stanley eventually came back in and they began their meeting after a small talk from Stanley to Michael about sitting behind his desk. Jim didn’t really listen to the rest of the meeting. He was too busy thinking about what Pam was doing. He walked back to his room and began working on his door tags for his new residents. He saw Karen walking towards his room.


“Hey Halpert.” She stopped in the doorway. “Can you only do your side of the floor? I was going to do my own name tags. I like them all to be laminated.”


“Yep, sounds good.”


“Also, I was thinking that we should start planning our first floor meeting soon.”


He got up from the floor and checked his email. He had been checking his email every few hours waiting to hear back from Pam. He hadn’t talked to her since that night she called telling him she wanted to leave. If he knew it would have been a week until he could hear from her again he would have stayed on the phone with her longer.


He clicked on his in box and finally there was an email.


Hi. Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you sooner. My computer still won’t get on the internet. My roommate let me use her computer. Things are much better now. No more losing it because I get lost. I’ve gotten used to wandering around until I find the apartment. I started classes today. My Italian class was intense. The rest of the day was pretty cool though. At the end of the week we get to go around the city and see all of the things we talked about in class. That’s really all for now. I’ll write you more when I get my computer up and running. I miss you like Dwight misses episodes of the X-Files!

Pam


He read the email a few times. He could almost hear her saying the words. This was going to be a long four months.


A couple days later Pam was in front of the Trevi Fountain. She was trying to find a place in the crowd where she could sit and sketch. She decided that she would sketch one place a week until the end of her trip. She started here because it was the closest place to her apartment. She sat there for a few hours just trying to capture every detail, but it was impossible.


Her stomach growled and she figured it was time to go. She gathered her things and placed them in her bag. She walked a few blocks to the market. A week after her excursion to the grocery store she found a market a few blocks away. It was cheaper and the food was fresher. The only downside was that she had to speak more Italian, but she needed the practice anyways.


When she got back to the apartment Dawn was studying at the table.


“I had the neighbor look at your computer while you were out. He fixed it.”


“That is seriously the best news I’ve gotten all week.” She put her bag down next to the door. “I should go thank him.”


“Oh, nope, that’s alright. I told him it was my computer.”


Pam laughed. “Why’d do that?”


“Because he was cute, and I didn’t have any other reason for him to come over. We’re going on a date on Friday.”


“Well make sure to really thank him for me.”


“That was my intention all along.”


Pam walked into her room to see her computer. She booted it up and signed on to her email. Three new emails from Jim.


She clicked on the oldest one first.


More than the X-Files? That's kind of scary that you know that he likes the X-Files that much. I'm glad you're enjoying your classes. I knew you would. Get that computer fixed already. I'm dying over here without daily updates.

Jim


Then she clicked on the second one.


I write bearing lots of news. We’ll go with the big stuff first. You were right about Jan and Michael. I passed her in the stairwell yesterday. She was walking back down from Michael’s floor. She had her shirt on inside out! It was a classic moment.

Next, Dwight has gotten some weird makeover. He’s dressing differently and his hair is less Dwight and more normal person. He also got new glasses. I feel like I’m in an episode of the Twilight Zone, except it’s the Dwilight Zone.

This is a big shocker, but Andy told me that he’s dating Angela! So I guess you were wrong about that one. I found out that Phyllis is engaged to her boyfriend from last year. She has been in a remarkably good mood. You’re really missing out (that was a joke, do not hop on a plane, you're not really missing anything).

Some other small things. I don’t know if you’ve talked to Kelly recently, but Ryan and Kelly are broken up at the moment, so he’s literally hitting on anything with a vagina. Karen is my co-RA this year. I didn’t realize that she was kind of neurotic about so many things. She stops by every few hours to make sure I’m getting my stuff done. She’s definitely 10 times better than Dwight though.

I’m sure there is so many more things that I missed, but that’s all I can think of right now.

Jim


She clicked on the third one.


I forgot to say I miss you too. So... I miss you too.

King James III


She wrote him back and she read a few more emails. There was one from Kelly. It was four pages long without any breaks explaining in great detail her breakup with Ryan. She even had exact quotes or exact Kelly quotes. Kelly often heard what she wanted to hear. She always managed to tweak what you said to sound closer to what she wanted to hear.


She made some dinner later with Dawn. It was kind of early, but it was dark out and she was tired. She was deep in sleep when she heard a loud bang come from outside. She got up and peaked out the window. There was a car parked out front. A woman was yelling at a man. The car lights were still on and one of the doors was still open. The woman was rushing to the door and the man was following her. She would turn around to yell at him every few steps. She got to the door and fumbled with her key. The man was right behind her. Pam couldn’t hear what the man was saying anymore. His voice was softer now. The woman yelled one more time before her voice softened too as the man placed a hand on her chin and lifted it to meet his mouth.


Pam turned away from the window now feeling like a peeping Tom. She walked back to her bed and threw herself onto the mattress. She wanted someone to kiss her like that. She had someone that kissed her like that, but he was 4,400 miles away. She closed her eyes and for a second she could feel his lips on hers.




.

Jim was walking through the hallway next to Dwight. Dwight was silent as they passed a few loud rooms. Normally Dwight would have been all over those rooms. He would have showed those kids no mercy. But he walked right by, without a second thought.


“Using that selective hearing?”


“Huh, what?”


“What happened to you this summer? Did Mose plow the wrong field again?”


“No, but thank you for asking.”


When he first saw Dwight walk into Stanley’s office he thought it was a joke, but later when he saw that his change wasn’t just skin deep he thought it must be a joke. But weeks went by and he never did all of the quirky things that he used to do. He wasn’t sure why, but he was worried about Dwight. Dwight was finally acting like everyone else. Jim had been wishing for this since the first day he met him. And now that Dwight was being normal it just wasn’t right. There had to be something that he could bait him with to pull out the real Dwight.


“I heard that the Sci-Fi Channel canceled Battlestar Galatica.” Still no response. “Dr Gaius... dead. I heard that he gets decapitated by a low hanging phone cord.” Jim had spent more hours watching Dwight watch Battlestar Galatica his freshman year than he had spent in class. “Then the spaceship blows up.”


“Warship,” Dwight corrected and ignored all of the other comments Jim had made.


Jim smirked. He was still in there and only God knew why Jim would want to bring him back out. He pressed him for more information. “What did you do this summer?”


“Nothing,” He said flatly.


Who was this guy that he was walking down the hallway with. Normally Dwight would wonder why Jim was being so inquisitive. He would think it was a setup for a prank. They reached the last floor and he saw Dwight’s mood change as they passed Angela’s room. He plastered on a fake smile and waved at Angela.


Jim caught his change in demeanor. “Did you hear about Andy and Angela?”


“Yes.” Dwight’s body stiffened a bit.


“Weird, right?”


“They’re both adults and they can do whatever they want.”


“They just don’t seem like each other’s type.”


“I think she could do better, but if Andy is who she chooses then there must be something about him that piques her interests.”


‘Interesting,’ Jim thought.


They finished their round of the building at the office. Jim checked the time. “See you down here in 2 hours for the next one?”


“Can we make it 3? I have a few things to do.”


“Yep.” Jim wondered what normal Dwight would do with that extra hour. Dwight took the elevator back up to his room.


In the office Jim siphoned through his mail. Most of it was trash. Michael had taken it upon himself to write a weekly newsletter about anything under the sun that he found interesting the week before. Mike’s Marks, granted the title was kind of catchy, but the rest of it was pure nonsense. Michael had been giving Jim two copies every week; one for him and one to send to Pam to keep her updated.


He threw a few things away before the postcard fell out. It was from Pam. She had been sending them for weeks now. He read the back of it and ran his finger of her writing.


“What do you got there?” Karen was standing in front of him.


“It’s a postcard from Pam.” He held up the front so she could see and then placed it back on top of the papers. He hoped she wouldn’t ask to read it. Karen was sort of nosy and he’d rather not spend the next 5 minutes explaining why the place reminded Pam of him.


“I emailed her the other day. She sounds like she’s having a lot of fun.”


“I’m actually going to go write her back right now. I’ll see you later though.” He walked past her and out the door.


“Oh hey,” She called from behind him. “I have an extra ticket to the football game tomorrow. My friend was supposed to come up, but she can’t anymore. Do you want it?”


“Yeah, how much do you want for it?”


“You can just have it.”


“You sure?”


“Yeah. My friend already paid me for it and she said I could give it away since it was so last minute.”


“Cool, just drop it off at my room later.” Jim turned away before he could see her blushing.


He got back to his room and turned on his computer. He put some music on and sat down at his desk to pretend to do some work for the next 3 hours. Karen stopped by an hour later. He could see that she had changed clothes and her hair was done differently.


“What are you so dressed up for?”


“Nothing, I just—no reason. Here’s the ticket.” She put it down on his dresser. “If you don’t have anyone to go with we can sit together.”


“I normally sit with Andy and Michael when I get a ticket. But if you want to sit with us I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”


He didn’t catch the disappointment on her face. She thought about just leaving, but she didn’t want to give up without at least trying. “What are you listening to?”


“Just some stuff my brother sent me. Elliot Smith, The Little One’s.” He watched her standing there nervously. “You can sit down if you want.”


She scanned the room for a place to sit. He got up and threw his stuff off his chair so she could sit. They sat in silence for awhile. He had never really hung out with Karen last year. He wasn’t even sure if Karen hung out with anyone. She just kept to herself. He didn’t really know anything about her except for the few things he learned this year and last year during training.


“Thanks for the ticket. Let me know if I you ever want me to pay you back.”


“Maybe you can take me out to dinner one night.”


That was absolutely not what he meant. “So how’s school?” He changed the subject.


“Good,” she answered. “Sort of ready to be done.”


He saw her relax a bit. “Not going the Michael Scott route?”


“Definitely not.”


“That’s too bad, because next year I plan on taking over and I could use a good recruit to keep Dwight in check.”


“Careful, I might take you up on that offer. I don’t know who the better leader is, but you’ve definitely got Dwight in the looks department.”


She smiled a little too wide and her eyes were sparkling. Was she flirting with him? Did she think he was flirting back? He was just trying to be friendly.


“Speaking of Dwight, I should actually go. I was supposed to meet him ten minutes ago. Thanks again for the ticket.”


Karen got up from the bed. “See you tomorrow, Halpert.”


“Yep.”


He felt bad for lying, but it was an awkward comment and he didn’t know if he should just ignore it or what. Maybe she wasn’t flirting; maybe that’s just how she joked around. She talked to Pam, and he thought that they were friends, and friends don’t flirt with their friend’s boyfriend, right? Girl politics was never his strong suit.


He walked up to Dwight’s floor. He figured he could get a little investigating done.


He knocked a few times before Dwight answered. Jim hadn’t been in Dwight’s room this year yet. He was shocked to find that his room still looked exactly the same. Obviously his “normal” Dwight persona hadn’t transferred into his room decorating.


“Has it been 3 hours already?”


“No, I just thought I would come hang out for a bit. Relive the good ol’ days.”


Jim waited for Dwight to invite him in. Dwight opened the door more and allowed Jim to pass. Once inside Jim could see what Dwight was doing with the extra hour that he requested. Dwight had a pair of hair clippers sitting out in front of his mirror.


“Were you going to shave your head?” Jim looked back at the clippers and then back at Dwight several times.


Dwight didn’t answer. Jim decided not to beat around the bush anymore. There was no one else here. “What’s going on with you? What’s up with the new clothes and the glasses—actually I like the glasses, keep the glasses. But the rest of the stuff just isn’t you. You haven’t said one mean or weird thing to me all year.”


“I just thought it was time for a change.”


“Does this have anything to do with Angela?”


Dwight nodded his head.


“Did she make a comment about the way you dressed or something?”


He shook his head. “She dumped me for Andy freaking Bernard.” Dwight lightly kicked the chair next to him.


“I had no idea,” Jim put a hand on his shoulder to console him. This reminded him of freshman year when Dwight had spent all night studying for his first chemistry midterm and he was sure that he had failed. When he got back after taking it he was just silent as he stared at his computer screen. Jim just put one hand on his shoulder and told him that he was sure that he did okay. An hour later Dwight was acting like an ass again, but at least he wasn’t moping.


“Were you going to give yourself an Andy Bernard haircut?”


Jim laughed and Dwight cracked a small smile.



.

During the football game Jim made sure to sit on the other side of Andy and Michael. He wanted to make it clear to Karen that he was definitely not attempting to flirt with her. But as the game progressed he thought that maybe he had taken her comments the wrong way. She seemed like a smart ass with everyone else and maybe she was making smart ass comments the night before and he was just too uptight to realize it. Later that week when she asked him to go eat dinner with her he was less hesitant about accepting than he would have been before the football game. He was still trying to limit the time he was spending with her though because the longer they were in the same place the more likely it was that she would make an awkward comment. It would be small things like she would mess up his hair and say “you look cute when the hair is out of your face.” Normally he would just give her an annoyed look, but it didn’t seem to bother her one bit. Just as long as she was keeping things relatively friendly they were fine. They had a similar sense of humor so it was easy to hang out with her. No matter how many times Jim told himself the he was just being conceited in thinking that Karen was interested in him he just couldn’t shake the feeling.


Karen was sitting in her room down the hall from Jim. His door wasn’t open, but she knew he was there. She saw him walk by earlier. She had gotten up six times and made it half way down the hallway before turning around each time. She thought this over for a whole week; it wasn’t until yesterday that she decided that she was going to tell him how she felt. She was normally a very logical person. She didn’t act on feelings if it wasn’t clear that both parties reciprocated the feelings. But Jim made her act like someone else. She was never this forward with anyone. If he didn’t know that she liked him then he had to be the densest person on the planet.


She once again attempted walking over to his room. She didn’t make it out of her door when she saw his door open. He was on the phone, laughing. He walked over to the water fountain, took a sip, and walked back into his room. He didn’t close the door. She could her him talking. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she heard when he stopped talking. She waited and when he hadn’t said anything in more than a minute she assumed that he got off of the phone. She was going to do it now.


She walked down the hall and knocked on his open door. He was in a remarkably good mood; just smiling for no reason.


“Hey Karen!”


“Hey, can we talk?”


He nodded. She entered the room and closed the door behind her. He let out a sigh. He couldn’t even imagine what would warrant closing the door to talk.


She stood by the door rocking on the heels of her feet. “Did you want to sit?”


“No,” she had built up this momentum and sitting might bring it to a halt. “Wow, this is harder than I thought.”


He was standing in front of his desk and she moved closer to him until she was standing so close that they’re chest were almost touching. He stayed silent. He would have moved back if he had room to.


“I, um... I really like you.” She said the last part really fast and she wasn’t even sure if it sounded like words. He looked stunned. She grabbed his face with her hand and kissed him on the mouth.


He pushed her back, not hard, but with just enough force that made her stop. “Oh, no.”


“Was that not okay?”


“That was definitely not okay.”


“What’s wrong?”


“Well for one, I have a girlfriend. Pam is my girlfriend.”


Karen finally took a few steps back and stared at the surprised look still on Jim’s face. "You guys are dating?"



“Oh my god. I have to tell Pam.”


“No, don’t tell Pam. She’ll hate me. If I would have known I would have never kissed you. I just thought she was your best friend.”


“We probably shouldn’t hang out together anymore.”


Karen had now backed all the way up to the door. She had never felt like a bigger idiot in her whole life. She didn’t say anything as she left.


Of all the things Jim thought Karen would say he never thought that she would say that, let alone follow it up with a kiss. He got on his computer and sent Pam an email.


Call me as soon as you get this. It’s important. I have to tell you something.

Jim.


They had just gotten off the phone so he knew that she would still be up. He sat silently thinking about ways he could have stopped this before it had happened. He wondered if he had made Karen think that this was okay.


His body jumped when his phone rang.


“What did you forget?”


“I don’t know how to say this.”


She thought he just wanted to say I miss you or something. She didn’t think that he actually needed to tell her something important.


“Karen just kissed me.”


She laughed and he wasn’t sure why.


“I’m not sure why you’re laughing, but trust me nothing about that was funny.”


“I’m an idiot.” She seemed way too calm about this situation.


“No, I’m pretty sure I’m the idiot.”


“I basically told her to kiss you.”


“I’m sorry, what?”


“She kept writing me about this guy that she liked. I never asked who it was, but I never thought it was you. I told her to go for it. I told Karen Fillipelli in a round about way to kiss you.” She laughed again.


“I’m glad that you find this funny.” He wasn’t sure why, but he was a little mad that she wasn’t upset about this.


“Are you mad?” She wasn’t laughing anymore.


“Honestly? Yeah, I am. Some other girl, your friend, just kissed me and you’re laughing it off.”


“I’m not mad because I trust you. I think I know you well enough that I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. I mean, you told me to call you right after it happened. If this is you cheating on me then you suck at it.”


He grunted in agreement, still a little too mad to form words.


“So who’s the better kisser?” She joked.


“That’s not funny.”


“We have two options here. We can be mad about this situation and dwell on it until the end of time, or we can make light of the situation and forget about it in a few days.”


“You are.”


“What?”


“You’re the better kisser. Karen might be, but I didn’t kiss her back, so by default you win.”


“See, doesn’t that make you feel better?”


“Only a little.”


“Did she really not know that we were dating, or is she secretly just a huge bitch?”


“I think that she really didn’t know.”


“How did she miss that memo?”


“I didn’t really come back announcing that we were dating. I figured everyone thought we were dating last year, so it seemed a little repetitive to just confirm what everyone already thought they knew.”


“Jeez Jim, don’t you ever talk about me? I talk about you all the time and my roommate now hates the sound of your name.”


“Do you really want me to be that guy? ‘Cause talking about you comes effortlessly to me.”


She smiled. “No, don’t be that guy.”


There was a long silence.


“I’m gonna go to bed. Don’t kiss anymore girls.”


“I’ll try not too, but I’m having to beat these girls off with a stick, nay, one of Dwight’s samurai swords.”


“So you’re killing people now?”


“Maiming sounds cooler.”


“Uh huh. Okay.”


“Night Pam. I—goodnight.”


“Night.”


He hung up the phone. That wasn’t the first time he had almost said “I love you” on the phone. He wanted to wait until she came back though. He wanted to see her reaction when he said it. He wanted to follow it up with a kiss.

.



Jim had stopped keeping track of the year by the months and the days. Instead he used how many days it was until Pam came back to keep track. It was his birthday and there were 46 days till Pam came back. He didn’t do anything special during the day. He got a call from his mom and dad in the afternoon. He went to his two classes and had lunch by himself. He got a call from Pam before she went to bed.


“Hey Birthday boy.”


“Man. Birthday man.”


“Okay, I get it, you’re a man now. When is the birthday man going out?”


“In a few hours.”


“Be safe, okay? Don’t drink too much.”


“Yeah, we’ll see about that one.”


“I’ll call you tomorrow after my classes. Happy Birthday.”


“Talk to you then.”


He showered before he was supposed to head out to the bars with the guys. His brother left a message for him while he was in the shower


“Hey little brother. Happy Birthday. I hope it’s memorable or at the very least you’re able to remember any part of the night. When you get back to Philly we’ll go out. I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you didn’t die in a pool of your own vomit. Love ya.”


Jim put the phone back down. He walked over to his closet. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a sweater. There was a knock at the door. Jim looked through the peephole and saw a thumb covering only half of the person.


“Come back in 15 minutes, Michael. I’m still getting ready.”


“How did you know it was me?” He asked through the door.


“You have a specific knock.”


“Oh.”


Jim walked over to the bed to put the clothes down.


“You almost done?”


“Yeah Michael. Fifteen minutes, that’s all I need.”


“What are you doing in there?”


“Fifteen minutes! Come back in fifteen minutes.”


Jim got dressed. Messed with his hair a bit. It had been twenty minutes and he wasn’t sure why Michael wasn’t knocking at his door again. He opened his door and Michael was sprawled out in front of his door.


“How long have you been sitting there?”


He shrugged his shoulders.


After a short talk from Michael about drinking etiquette they met up with Dwight and Andy downstairs.


“Did everyone bring their dollars bills?”


Andy and Dwight nodded.


“Where are we going?” He knew already from the look on his face.


“A gentlemen’s club.”


“I hate to burst your bubble, but I went to my first strip club 3 years ago.”


“Yes, but you’ve never had a beer in a strip club.”


Jim didn’t argue with them. He knew that the less he fought it the sooner it would lose its appeal to the other three. When they walked in Michael went directly to the bar. Jim sat between Andy and Dwight. This was truly a surreal moment; Dwight was actually checking the girls out. Jim couldn’t wipe the silly grin off of his face.


Michael came back with only one shot in hand. He pushed it across the table.


“Which girl do you want? That one over there has Pam hair, but that one over there definitely has her body.”


Jim shook his head, took the shot and exhaled as he felt his esophagus warm up.


“That is creepy.”


“Its fine, Pam will understand.”


“Yep. That’s okay.”


They sat there for half an hour. Everyone was afraid to get a dance except for Dwight. Dwight was the only single guy there. They left after Dwight finished his dance and conversation with the dancer.


“You seemed to enjoy yourself.” Jim said to Dwight.


“Yes, I did.”


When they got to the bar Jim called his friend Mark. Kevin and Toby showed up later too. He wasn’t really sure when he got so drunk. It was like jumped out at him. One minute he was bragging about being sober and the next minute he was feeling every drink he had. He watched as Andy talked about Angela to Michael. He watched Dwight’s expression harden.


“Its funny, you wouldn’t know it from looking at her, but she’s into a lot of different things. She does this thing after sex that just surprises me every time.”


“I know what that’s like, Ja—My girlfriend likes to act out all of these fantasies. What about Pam?” Michael turned towards Jim. “I bet she’s kinky?”


Everything seemed to be going in slow motion for Jim. He blinked a few times before he actually comprehended what Michael had asked. He didn’t notice Toby trying to crane his neck to hear better.


He shook his head no, or at least he thought he did. “I don’t know.” He should have told him ‘no’ or told him to mind his business. Why did he say ‘I don’t know’?


“What do you mean you don’t know? You haven’t slept together yet?”


“No, I... uh... what’s going?” Jim squinted. He wondered if he could play stupid.


“Are you telling us that you guys have been together for almost 6 months and you haven’t closed the deal yet?”


“I think I need another drink.” It wasn’t like he didn’t have the chance to have sex with Pam, but that wasn’t something he wanted to broadcast. Nice guy Jim told his girlfriend no after she practically threw herself at him.


He wondered if they would forget what they were talking about if he ignored the question for a while longer. Michael had a short attention span so it shouldn’t have been that hard.


“You haven’t, have you?” Andy questions.


“I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.”


“Come on Jim, we’re all friends here. Maybe we can throw a few pointers your way.” Andy said.


“Fine, we haven’t slept together yet. Happy?”


“Wow.” Kevin seemed to sigh this word out of him.


Everyone was quiet. That wow really said it all.


“I’m going to run to the bathroom.” He got up and walked to the bar instead. He sat down on a stool. He wondered if they would be worried if he left right now and just walked home. He ordered another drink and took a few sips before he got up and walked back to the table.


He sat back down and everyone stopped talking.


“Tell me more about that stripper. What was her name again?”


“Elizabeth.” Dwight seemed to get the hint that he needed someone to break the tension. “She goes to school with us. I didn’t get to ask her what it was that she studied though.”


“As someone who studies people for a living I would bet my room that she’s a dance major.”


“I think that’s a little stereotypical and you aren’t an anthropologist yet, so technically you don’t do that for a living.”


That was Jim’s way of sticking it to Michael. He told him that he didn’t want to talk about it and they continued anyways. It was a little spiteful, but he blamed it on the alcohol.


On the ride back to Dunder Hall he couldn’t stop thinking about Pam. Was it normal to love someone when you spent more than half of your relationship apart? Every time he closed his eyes he saw her face. He stumbled down the hallway to his room. He opened his top desk drawer and pulled some papers out and let them fall to the floor. He couldn’t remember Pam’s number at the moment and he didn’t know where that damn calling card was at. Before he knew it the top desk drawer was completely empty.


He sat down in his chair and tried to think of where he put them at. He looked up and taped onto the crappy backing of the desk was the number and the card. They were literally right in front of his face. He got a weird busy signal the first time he dialed the numbers. Making his first international drunk dial was harder than he thought it would be.


The phone didn’t ring more than twice before she picked up.


“Hello?”


“Hey.” He sort of slurred. “Were you still sleeping?”


“Uh-huh.” She rubbed her eyes. “How was your birthday?”


“It was okay.”


“Did you drink too much?”


“Remember the first time you spent the night at my house? I wish I was there right now.”


“So you did drink too much?”


“I miss feeling your skin.”


She laughed.


“What are you wearing right now?”


She laughed again. “You are really drunk.”


“What are you wearing?”


“Seriously?”


“Seriously.”


“Pajamas?” She knew that answer wouldn’t be sufficient enough.


“You know what I mean.”


“Seriously?” She wasn’t sure what Jim she was talking to, but it wasn’t one that she had ever met.


“Yes, Pam. It’s my birthday, you’re not here, and I’m drunk.” He thought that he was secretly trying to prove to the guys that he could have Pam, even if she was around the world, but maybe he just really missed her when he was drunk. He’d figure it out later and probably feel guilty about it too.


“Okay, but you’re going to owe me, because this isn’t your present. That’s already in the mail. No one said anything about bonus gifts.”


“You got me a present?”


“Yes.”


“What did you get me?”


“Hopefully something you’ll like.”


“I miss you.”


She let out a chuckle. He had forgotten so quickly what he had been asking about before. “I miss you too. Go to sleep birthday man.”


“Okay.”


“Hey, and just so you know, I’m not wearing anything.”


“WHAT?”


“I’m just kidding.”


“I kind of hate you right now.”


“I hate you too.” She hung up the phone. She couldn’t help herself. Did that make her an evil girlfriend?



.

.



It was a week after Jim’s birthday. She had been waiting for him to finally see his present. It took a lot of preparation and bribing to get it done. She knew when she heard that little ding coming from her computer it was Jim.


jimjam76: That was amazing!

bees_knees: When did you see it?

jimjam76: I was with him when he opened it.

bees_knees: how did you figure out that was your present?

jimjam76: Are you kidding? Letters from Dwight’s Grammutter to the Allied Forces?

bees_knees: They could have been real.

jimjam76: They were in your handwriting!

jimjam76: How did you get them sent from Britain?

bees_knees: My roommate’s boyfriend went home last weekend and he sent them while he was there.

bees_knees: What did Dwight say about them?

jimjam76: well, he went up to his room to look up plane tickets to get to the bottom of it.

bees_knees: Don’t let him fly out. I’ll feel bad.

jimjam76: Obviously you have a lot to learn about pranking. You’ve gotten in over your head.

bees_knees: It was a good idea. Give me that at least.

jimjam76: of course

bees_knees: I was so tired of hearing Dwight talk about his Nazi grandma last year. I thought it would be a shock to hear that she was an informant for the Allies.

jimjam76: it was definitely a shock. I wasn’t sure if he was angry with the idea of his grandma not being a Nazi or happy that his grandma was an informant.

bees_knees: I have more presents for you too.

jimjam76: More presents?

bees_knees: Yeah, they’re nowhere near as cool as fake letters.

jimjam76: we’ll see.

bees_knees: I’m glad you got to see the letters in person. I thought you would have to hear about them in a Dwight rant.

jimjam76: I can’t even describe the look on his face.

bees_knees: I have to start writing this paper, but give me a call later... if you want.

jimjam76: I’ll think about it. ;-*

bees_knees: yep, ;-* to you too.


Pam closed the window and opened up her paper. She had three weeks to finish it and so far she had five words written. An outline was due tomorrow and if she had started it earlier she could be looking forward to sleep, but that seemed more unlikely now.


The next week was the same way. She couldn’t stop thinking about going home and she couldn’t concentrate on anything else. She closed her computer. Maybe if she gave it some time the words would come easier for her. Food sounded like a good distraction. She walked out of her room and into Dawn’s room.


“I’m going down the street to get some lunch. Do you want go?”


Dawn threw her head back so she could see Pam upside down. She shook her head in frustration. “No. I still have too much work to do. I feel like I’m mucking about right now. I’m never going finish on time.”


“I can bring you something back.”


“Oh, yeah?” Dawn spun her chair around so she was facing Pam. “You wouldn’t mind?”


“Uh-uh. I’m going there anyways.”


Dawn’s face brightened up. “Brilliant!”


“I’ll be back in hour.”


As Pam walked down the streets she thought about how close she came to leaving that day she got lost. Jim was right, she would have regretted it forever if she hadn’t come and she would have always regretted coming all the way here and leaving right away. She walked slowly down the street just taking everything in. She’d be gone soon and she feared that she wouldn’t remember any of this later. She tried to remember the noise that her sandals made against the street. She wanted to remember the way the street looked. She could never get enough of the cobblestone. She reached the restaurant and she sat down at a table. She ordered her food and ordered the same thing for Dawn to go.


She took a cab home. She asked him to take her the long way, and he did, but then it was like the universe was testing her. The driver had stopped at exactly where the cab driver on her first day had dropped her off at. Was she the same push over from that first day? Was she the girl who let the front desk clerk give her half-ass directions, or the girl who let the driver drop her off at the wrong address?


Pam looked at the building in front of her. It was only one block. Her hand reached for door while the other one searched for the money her purse. But then again she asked to be dropped of at her address, not here. Her hand dropped the money and she released the door handle.


‘It’s one block over. Poli, not San Marcello.’ She thought to herself.


It took her several seconds before she could say it. Not because she was thinking of how to say it, she just needed to build up her courage. “No, via Poli è sopra una strada.” She was surprised with the tone that came out of her mouth. It wasn’t shaky, it was steady and calm.


The cab driver looked more stunned that she said it in Italian than anything else. He apologized a moment later and drove around the block.


It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.


They were in Rome for another two weeks after their classes were over with. They spent the first week traveling. Dawn and Pam took the train out to Florence and then to Venice. They spent the days just being tourist. The last week they just spent the time going around Rome again, visiting things they hadn’t seen yet.


On the last day before their planes left they spent time with their friends. Pam, Dawn, Oscar, and Dawn’s boyfriend, had each picked a few places that they wanted to see again.


They began the day by visiting the only place Oscar wanted to visit, the building that the Roman Senate met at. It was so stereotypical of him.


“They met here. They walked down this road.”



They watched as he gazed at the building. Granted it was magnificent, but none of them had the connection to it like he had. They stifled a few laughs.


“We can trace our government back here.” He said looking back at them. “Well, not so much yours, but mine and Pam’s.”

They took a few pictures before heading to the next place.


The Spanish Steps were Dawn’s boyfriend, Tim’s choice. He didn’t explain why they were significant to him until they got there.


They walked half way up and sat down. “I know this is going to sound creepy and possibly stalkerish, but the first time I saw you was here.”


“I don’t understand.”


“The first day I got in I came here and I saw you sitting over there sketching.”


Pam and Oscar walked back down to the fountain at the bottom to give them some privacy. Pam stole a glance at them. It was eerie how much they reminded her of herself and Jim. The idea of her being with Jim was just days away from being real.


The next few places were general places that the four of them liked. They visited the Mouth of Truth; each saying a lie while placing their hand in the mouth of the rock, except for Pam. No matter how much courage she had gained she would never be able to get rid of her conscience and the possibility of her hand being bitten off by a sculpture.


They had dinner as the sun set. Then they walked the streets before stopping at the Trevi Fountain. It was just a few blocks from their apartments.


Pam pulled out two coins and made one last wish, and then she thought about how childish it was to make wishes in fountains. She still hoped that the wish would come true though. Childish or not, her dreams would always be there and anything she could do to help them along she would, even if that meant tossing perfectly good money into a fountain.


She had a hard time sleeping that night. She was anxious about the plane ride again. She was fine the last time, but she was sure that the more times you flew the better your odds were of dying in a fiery crash in the Atlantic Ocean. In the morning when her alarm went off she was exhausted. She remembered saying goodbye to Dawn and getting in the cab with her stuff. She remembered looking at the city through her window. She didn’t remember checking in or boarding the plane. She went from the cab to her seat on the plane in her own version of a timeline. She was so tired that she managed to sleep through the turbulence. She had a layover in Frankfurt on the way back. She didn’t really remember that either. The next time she opened her eyes they were an hour away from Philadelphia. She looked out the window for the first time. Maybe it was all of the sleep she just got or maybe she realized how homesick she was, but she didn’t hyperventilate.


When she arrived her parents were waiting for her.


“Mom.” She hugged her for a long time before breaking the hug and turning to her dad and smiling. “Dad.”


She was awake for the whole ride home. Her mom made her dinner when she got back. Even after all of the amazing food that she had during her trip nothing tasted as good as this. She watched a football game with her dad. Really though she sat next to him while he yelled at the T.V. During commercials he would ask her about Rome. Since she was 5 she would sit next to him on the couch and watch him yell at the announcers, sometimes muting the T.V. and announcing the game himself for Pam.


After two days of sitting at home she got a little antsy and she hopped in her car. She was just going for a short ride, but two hours later when she was sitting in front of Dunder Hall it obviously wasn’t quite that short.


She entered the building and immediately saw Phyllis. She walked up to the counter and Phyllis still hadn’t looked up from her paperwork. She cleared her throat and Phyllis glanced up.


“Pam!”


“Hey Phyllis.”


Phyllis walked over to her and pulled her into a hug.


“You left without saying goodbye.”


“Yeah, sorry about that. It was really last minute.”


Phyllis released her from the hug.


“Do you think you could let me upstairs? I really want to surprise someone.”


“Jim?” Phyllis grinned.


Pam nodded with a smile.


“Okay, but only this once.”


She thought it was funny how Phyllis was still a stickler for the rules even when she was bending them for the only person she worked with that she liked.



.

.



Phyllis walked over to the elevator and inserted her card. She gave Pam a sly smile before returning to the office. Pam pressed the number three. She waited. She hated this elevator. It had the longest delay known to man. Just as the doors began closing a hand reached in to stop them. The doors moved apart and Karen stood in front of Pam.


She looked startled, like she was looking at someone she thought was dead but clearly isn’t. Pam gave her a small smile, but it wasn’t returned. The doors closed with a loud bang. The elevator shook as it began slowly moving. Karen glanced over at Pam and then back down at the floor.


Pam let a small noise escape her mouth. It sounded more like a small cracking noise coming from the back of her throat than any sound that a word would began with. She was trying to form words, but she wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t angry at Karen, but she thought it was a little weird when Karen never answered her last email to her. It was right after Pam had found out about the kiss. She just wanted to let Karen know that she wasn’t angry and that they were still friends. But apparently they weren’t friends anymore. If either of them should be upset it should be Pam, not Karen. Karen’s face when she saw Pam said otherwise though.


The elevator stopped on the second floor. Pam let out a loud sigh. Could this elevator move any slower? A guy stepped onto the elevator and hit the 5. The elevator shook more violently this time. Pam closed her eyes and prayed that she wouldn’t get stuck in the elevator with an angry Karen. It stopped and at the third floor. Karen pushed passed the guy and was half way down the hallway before Pam got out.


“Bye,” Pam yelled after her. It was a bit mean, but she was trying to make a point. What point, she wasn’t sure yet, but there was one... maybe.


Pam walked along the hallway. She knew Jim was in Andy’s old room. She stood in front of the door and thought about how she should do this. Should she just knock or call him and pretend like she’s at home and then knock. She knew she was over thinking this when the door opened.


He was standing in front of her in a white undershirt and basketball shorts. He was holding a bowl of cereal in his hand.


“Oh my God. What are you doing here?” His mouth was still full of cereal. He turned back to find somewhere to put his bowl at.

The smile spread across her face until her cheeks hurt. She watched as he searched for somewhere close to place the bowl, finally giving up and putting it on the floor. He grabbed one of her hands and pulled her closer until he could comfortably put his arms around her. He lifted her chin and bent down to kiss her. It was as good as he remembered to feel her lips on his. She shoved him back with her weight until they were inside of his room. He let go of her waist to search for the door. His hand caught the door and he slammed it shut.


“Hi,” she said.


“Hey.” He leaned back down.


He moved her back so she was up against the door. Pam felt her foot become cold and she heard the glass bowl clink against the tile floor. Jim looked down.


“Sorry.”


She laughed. “That was quite the welcome.”


His finger tips were pressing hard into her skin. He thought that he might be hurting her, but she was still smiling.


“Do you want to get out of that shoe?”


“I’ve been here for one minute and you’re already trying to undress me.”


“Trust me, I would not start with your shoes if I had the chance.”


He released his grip on her waist and she finally stepped out of the small puddle of milk. She pulled her shoe off and then her sock. She made a face at him as she held up her wet sock. “My foot feels gross.”


She tossed them off to the side. “Are you going to clean that up?”


“It’s not going anywhere.” He grabbed her again, this time leading her to the bed.


She tripped over some clothes on the floor. “When was the last time you cleaned your room?”


“August?” He guessed.


“Gross Jim.”


“I swear I was going to clean it before you came over.”


He sat down on the bed and he was still tall enough to kiss her without straining his neck. She put her knees on either side of his legs straddling them. He slowly lowered them back. She straightened out her legs and rested her weight on him. She moved her bare foot against his leg and he shivered.


He pulled away. “You’re right, your foot does feel gross.”


She rolled off of him and hit him in the arm. She used her foot to kick off the other shoe. She folded her legs underneath her making sure to hide the bare foot.


He sat up next to her. “What brings you all the way up here?”


“I was bored at home and I wanted to see you, so here I am.”


He kissed her on the forehead. “I missed you so much.”


“Ditto.”


“Really, at a time like this you’re going to pull out ditto?”


She nodded her head.


“I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.” He shook his, trying to keep a straight face.


“Well, what are we sitting here for? Obviously we need to get reacquainted then.”


He pulled her back down. They kissed for a while longer until Pam thought it was really going to happen. Jim tugged at her shirt for a moment, but he didn’t pull it off. He stopped himself and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe she would have to initiate it. She moved his shirt up, but he grabbed it and pulled it back down.


He went to kiss her again, but she pulled away.


His eyes said ‘What?’


“Nothing,” She said.


She let him kiss her again. She didn’t understand. He seemed so into this, but maybe not as much as she was. She was too busy thinking that she didn’t notice that she had stopped kissing him back.


He moved to her neck before he realized that she was somewhere else. “You okay?”


She snapped back from her thoughts. “I feel weird asking you this, but don’t you want to have sex?”


“I—uh um, I...” he stumbled over his words for bit.


“Because I do.”


“Are you sure you don’t want to wait?” He didn’t know why he said that. He definitely didn’t want to wait, but the gentleman in him was always more powerful.


“We did wait. Remember? Rome?”


“Yeah, I think we should wait.”


“Oh, okay.” She didn’t sound happy about this at all.


He wanted their first time to be perfect and beautiful. Not clumsy and filled with memories of Pam stepping in his bowl of cereal. He wanted it to at least happen in a semi clean room. She deserved at least that much. He saw the disappointment in her eyes. This was the second time he had turned her down. She laid her head down on his chest looking away from him at the wall.


He moved a few curls out of her face. “Hey,” She looked up at him for a second. “You are beautiful. Honestly, you’d probably be disgusted with me if you knew how often I thought about having sex with you. But do you really want to think back to this night and think about cold milk on your foot?”


She cracked a smile. “Fine, you win.” She traced her finger down the front of his shirt.


She listened to his heart until she realized that they had never really talked about sex. “How many people have you slept with?” She said it fast hoping to make it less awkward that way.


“Four,” he said hoping that she didn’t take his small pause at the beginning as a sign that he was lying, because he wasn’t.


“I know one is Katy, so who are the other three?”


“There was one girl in high school and two girls during freshman year.”


He was being really vague about the other girls.


“Were you guys in love?” She wanted to take the question back as soon as she said it.


“Have I never told you about the first girl I said ‘I love you’ to?”


“Can’t say that you have.” She was really regretting the question now.


“Really?”


She didn’t say anything. She just wanted to hear what she had to live up to.


“Let’s see, where to start?” He reached down and intertwined his fingers with Pam’s. “This girl is amazing. She has the most beautiful green eyes.” He took his free hand and ran his thumb over the side of her face by her eye. “And her laugh is like a drug. I’m constantly thinking of ways to make her laugh just so I can hear it.” He ran his thumb dangerously close to her lips and then down her neck. “And she is wittiest person I know, besides myself.” She gave him a look, but he goes on. “And that hair – the way it falls around her face is stunning.” He gently moved a few more curls out of her face and tucked them behind her ear.


And then it hit her, he wasn’t speaking in past tense. That hair... that was her hair.


He continued. “The way she enters the room and always takes my breath away. Or the way she calls my grandma Nammy just to spite me and not in support of me.” He rolls her over so he can look down into her eyes.


“I’m in love with you.” He said softly. “I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but it’s true.”


She doesn’t smile at first and he thinks that he did freak her out. She took one big gulp of air before she can speak.


“I’m absolutely and completely head over heels in love with you.” He leaned down and kissed her finally. She can’t wait any longer. She reached for the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He doesn’t fight her this time. He sat her up and slowly pulled her shirt off making sure to graze her sides with his hands as he lifted it above her head. He took a second before doing anything else. He just looked at her and then pulled her ear next to his mouth and told her that he loved her again. He wondered if it would be hard to not say it all the time now.


As he continued to undress her she thought that she wouldn’t want to remember this moment any other way, wet sock and all. It was perfectly imperfect.



.

.



They were lying in bed. His long legs were poking out from the bottom of the blanket. His legs were fidgeting around.


“That was...”


“I know,” he said while looking up at the ceiling. “Sorry.”


“Don’t apologize.” She would have made a joke, but she could tell that it wouldn’t have helped.


“It’s just—it’s been a year since... I don’t know.” He let out a sigh before turning to face her for the first time. “Can we not count that?”


“Are we counting now?”


“You know what I mean.”


“No.” She kissed him on the jaw. “We won’t count that.”


He put his head back on the pillow and she watched his face go red again.


“Are you embarrassed?” She said leaning over him.


He frowned a bit.


“Cheer up Charlie!”


He pursed his lips to the side of his face. She sat all the way up and moved onto his lap. She grabbed his arms and pulled him up so he was now sitting. She wrapped her arms around him. He avoided looking in her eyes. He felt like he was 17 all over again, but that time really didn’t count. He didn’t love that girl and she definitely didn’t love him. She wouldn’t have slept with that football player the next week if she had. He was finally with the only girl he’s ever loved and he couldn’t even control his own body.

She moved her hands to the sides of his face and turned it until he had no choice but to look at her. She kept her hands there while she kissed him briefly on the side of his mouth. He finally wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her close, “This is not how I imagined it.”


“If everything turned out the way we imagined then what would be the point of ever trying anything?”


He nuzzled her neck and breathed her scent in before nipping at her neck. Now he had something to prove, not to her, but to himself. He could have sex with Pam without spazzing out. She let a small gasp escape when his teeth found her shoulder.


“Maybe we should go slower this time,” he suggested between the nips.


“Uh-huh.” She nodded as her eyes lids seemed to be getting heavier.


He moved the hair away from her neck and kissed the back of it. This time was everything he hoped for and so much more. Now he knew why they called it ‘making love.’ They laid in his bed, legs tangled and he rested his eyes for a minute. She must have thought that he had fallen asleep. She reached for his hand that was lying on her thigh and held it.


“I love you,” she whispered into the air. He moved closer to her and she jumped a bit not expecting him to move. His fingers closed around hers. He opened his eyes and watched as her eyes slowly closed. He watched her sleep for an hour before he fell asleep himself.


In the morning it was surreal waking up next to her. Her face was lying on his pillow staring back at him when he opened his eyes. He smirked as he realized that last night was real.


“Can we lay here all day?”


“I have to get back. It was only supposed to be a short drive. Plus, don’t you have class?”


He looked back at the clock. “Yeah, but not for another two hours and I think your parents probably realized where you’re at already.”


“You might be my dad’s new least favorite person now.”


“I’m okay with that as long as I’m your new favorite person.”


“I dunno. It’s really a toss up between you and Karen.”


“Karen?”


“I forgot to tell you, I saw her on the way up here and she basically ignored me.”


“What?”


“Did something else happen after that night?”


“No, I haven’t really talked to her, but she hasn’t really talked to me either though.” He sat up in bed. “I guess I was a little harsh with her.” Pam raised an eyebrow. “I just told her that we shouldn’t hang out for a while.”


He shrugged his shoulders. “Do you want to get some breakfast with me before you leave? You can’t drive on an empty stomach.”


He got out of bed and put on a pair of sweatpants that were sitting on his chair. She sat up taking the covers with her. “Can you pass me those?” She said pointing to the pile of her clothes on the floor.


He bent over and picked up her stuff and handed them to her. He thought that there was something endearing about her being so shy right now. She blushed when she raised the blanket to get the clothes and she was sure that he had seen something. He strolled back over to the bed and lifted the covers to climb back into the bed.


He put his hand on her hips as he climbed on top of her. He took her bra from her and put it on her. Then he grabbed her shirt and slipped it back over her head.


She wasn’t really sure why he was doing this, but it may have been the most sensual thing she had ever been involved in. He finished dressing her and she wanted to take it all back off. He picked up a shirt from the floor and threw it on.


She watched him put on his shoes and for a second she thought that he couldn’t be real. There had to be something wrong with him. No one could be this amazing. He opened the door and they walked down the hallway and out of the building.


She wasn’t really looking forward to eating this food, but she had been kind of spoiled when it came to food for the past few months. They walked throw the crowd and looked for a table, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Dwight. Dwight with a girl, that wasn’t Angela. This girl was the very antithesis of Angela. She was tall and perky. She was actually smiling, and her clothes would have made Angela pray for that girl’s soul.


Pam nudged Jim and pointed.


“You’ve got to be kidding me!?!?”


“Do you know her?”


“Umm... yes, one could say that I know her. Dwight definitely knows her better though.”


“Who is she?”


“She’s a stripper.”


“No,” she sighed. “Can we please sit with them?”


Jim shook his head.


“Wait, how do you know that she’s a stripper?”


“Oh...uh...mmmm. Did I not tell you that we stopped by the strip club before the bar on my birthday?”


She laughed. “Dwight picked up a girl at the strip club!”


Pam didn’t care if Jim didn’t want to sit with them, she walked towards their table. She tried to act surprised when she saw him sitting there. “Dwight!”


“Hey Pam. When did you get back?”


“Just a few days ago.”


Jim caught back up and stood behind Pam with his tray of food. He gave Dwight a nod to say hello.


“Do you guys want to join us?” The girl said.


“Sure.” Pam sat down next to the girl. “I’m Pam, that’s Jim,” she said to her.


“Elizabeth.” She smiled.


Jim wanted to know how and why Dwight was sitting with Elizabeth as much Pam did, but he felt guilty about going to the strip club and not telling Pam about it. If he would have paid attention though, she clearly didn’t care.


Pam sat quietly trying to think of a tactful way to ask how she knew Dwight, but then she noticed the chemical engineering book sitting next to Elizabeth. “So, are you an engineer too?”


“Me? Yeah. We’ve been helping each other study for our Polymer Chemistry final.”


Jim stared at Dwight with his mouth open. Dwight just smiled and undoubtedly was pleased with his current situation. Jim was happy for him though. He never told anyone about Dwight and the hair clippers incident. No one seemed to notice or care that Dwight was acting less normal now and more like Dwight K. Schrute.


They finished breakfast and Dwight and Elizabeth headed to class. Jim and Pam went back to his room. She waited in his room while he showered. She barely heard the tiny knock at the door. She looked out the peephole and didn’t see anyone. She cracked the door and Angela was standing there.


“Hey Angela. Jim’s not here, he’s in the shower.”


She knew something was wrong when Angela didn’t give her a nasty look when she said Jim was in the shower.


“Can I come in?”


“Yeah.” She opened the door wider and let Angela in.


As soon as she closed the door Angela’s face dropped. “Who was that girl with Dwight?”


Pam knew that look, that look of secret longing in Angela’s eye. Angela was still in love with Dwight.



.

.


Pam was driving up to stay with Jim again. He had his last final this afternoon and he thought they could get in some quality time before Christmas. It didn’t take much convincing. They didn’t really get in a whole lot of talking last time, she suspected that this time wouldn’t be any different and she was okay with that. They did enough talking for the last seven months.


She pulled up to a small house that she thought might have been a large garage to the bigger house just feet away. She hadn’t seen Kelly yet, and as sad as it was Kelly was still one of her closest friends. Pam walked up to the door and stood on the pink welcome mat. She rang the door bell and watched as the curtain on the window opened and Kelly’s face peaked through.


“PAM!” Kelly squealed and Pam could hear her through the window.


Kelly swung the door open and screamed her name one more time before embracing her while bouncing on the balls of her feet.


“Hey Kel.” She patted her lightly on the back hoping that would be enough to end the hug, but apparently Kelly’s hug were relative to the amount of time it had been since you last saw her. The longer it was, the longer the hug.


“I have soooo much to tell you!” She said finally pulling away.


Kelly motioned for Pam to enter the house. She braced her self for the barrage of pink, but it never came. The room was still bright, but it was like Kelly had discovered the existence of other colors. There were purples and oranges and greens and, yes a touch of pink. Kelly didn’t have a roommate, so she wasn’t sure where this sudden interest in other colors came from.


Kelly gave Pam a quick tour of the house. It was quick because the house wasn’t big enough to give a long tour. The bedroom looked like a closet. The bed fit perfectly into the corner and left two feet of walking room to the left. She didn’t have a desk in the room, but there was a shelf next to the bed that she had put her computer on. The kitchen was tiny and Pam could see that Kelly did her best to try and off set the bland olive green color with something brighter. The bathroom was actually quite spacious; it was easily twice the size of the kitchen. They went back into the living room and Kelly sat down on the couch.


“How are you and Ryan?” She knew she was opening a can of worms, but better that she bring it on herself then have it sprung on her when she wasn’t mentally prepared. “Is there a you and Ryan?”


She let out an exasperated sigh.


“If you would have been here this would have never happened. He broke up with me because he said he needed space, but he didn’t need space while we were having sex in his room last night.”


“Gross Kelly.”


“I wish he would just commit to this relationship already. I knew the first time I saw him that we were going to get married.”


“Hmm...”


“And I can tell he’s going to be such a good husband.”


Pam wanted to ask how she knew that, but really Kelly probably didn’t know anyways.


“So you and Jim, huh?”


“Yeah.” Pam couldn’t help but to smile.


“I just about screamed when I heard.” She did scream when she heard. “You guys are as cute as Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon, before they got a divorce obviously.”


Pam heard a tiny buzzing coming from her purse. She grabbed the phone and saw Jim’s name appear on the screen. She held out a finger to tell Kelly to wait a minute before she elaborated on her comparisons between her and Jim and some famous couple that had gotten divorced.


“Hey.”


“I just got out my class and I’m walking back. Is it possible for you to be in my bed when I get back?”


She chuckled. “Probably not.”


“Shoot. Seriously though, are you in town yet?”


“Yeah, I’m at Kelly’s.”


“Is that Jim? What are you guys talking about?” Kelly asked.


“Ditch her and meet me at the office.”


Pam covered the mouth piece. “He said he wants me to ditch you and meet him.”


“Pam? You still there?”


“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”


“Great, I’ll be the hot one standing by the office.”


“The one with the skinny legs?”


“Ugh. They’re not skinny anymore. Hurry,” he said before hanging up the phone.


Pam tossed the phone back into her bag and looked back at Kelly.


“Are you guys sleeping together?”


Pam’s cheeks became red and she tried to laugh it off, but Kelly could tell.


“I have to go.” She stood up and Kelly followed her to the door. “I’ll be here for the next few days, so if you aren’t leaving anytime soon we should get lunch or something.”


“You are, aren’t you?” She yelled at Pam as she walked down the sidewalk. “You’re sleeping with Jim!”


“Bye.” She waved before got in her car.


Pam never talked to anyone about her sex life. She never had anyone to talk to about it.


When she walked into Dunder Hall Jim was leaning against the wall. He was right; he was the hot one standing by the office. A smile crept across his face as she got closer. He met her half way and kissed her gently on the mouth. “Where’s your bag at?” He whispered in a low husky voice that she had never heard come from him before.


“It’s in the car.” She felt like her voice was going to crack.


He licked his lips and her legs wobbled a little. If they didn’t get upstairs now she was going to fall. She hit the button for the elevator and the both got on. Once on his floor they walked calmly to his door, but as soon as he put that key in the door she jumped him. He didn’t have the door closed before she was already pulling off his coat and pulling at the buttons on his shirt.


Jim helped her with the buttons as they tripped over to the bed. The first time was slow and beautiful. This time was going be fast and hot. He pulled her shirt off in one quick move and pushed her back on the bed. She grabbed his unbuttoned shirt and pulled him towards her. His hands were everywhere when there was a knock at the door. She looked at the door, but he ignored it. His hands played with the top of her jeans. The knock was louder the second time.


“Jim?” It was Karen.


He let out a groan and continued kissing Pam.


She knocked again. She was relentless. Jim groaned again, but this one came from annoyance. He rolled off the bed and stomped over to the door. He cracked the door open enough to see Karen and Karen’s eyes immediately moved to his stomach. He saw this and he grabbed the two sides and held them together with one hand.


“What?” He asked trying not to sound too annoyed.


“We... uh...” She shook her head and tried to regain her composure. “We’re supposed to start going through rooms today.”


Shit, he knew he was forgetting something. “Give me a minute.” He looked back at Pam and threw up his hands in defeat. He moved behind the door and buttoned his shirt back up. He walked back up to Pam and leaned over and kissed her one last time. “This is going to take awhile. I’ll leave my key for you in case you want to go somewhere or you can just lie there like that. Up to you though, no pressure.”


He backed out of the room towards Karen. The door closed and Pam threw her head back on the pillow. She used to really like Karen, now though, now she was a huge pain in her ass. Pam grabbed her shirt and slid it back on. She went back downstairs to the office.


Phyllis was sitting at her desk with stacks of papers sitting in front of her. She wasn’t in that famous good mood everyone has been saying she was in. “You want some help?”


Phyllis looked up and saw Pam. Her hard look softens. “Can you file this stack for me?”


Pam nodded and took the stack of papers over to the counter. She used her chin to steady it. She was half way through the stack when she saw Jim get off of the elevator with Karen. He gave her a knowing smile. They walked in and placed some papers in Stanley’s mailbox. Karen walked out without a word to either of them and Pam tried her hardest no to roll her eyes.


“Ready?” He said from behind her, whispering in her ear. His hands clench at her sides.


“I have to finish this first.” She laughed because although she couldn’t see his face she knew he wasn’t smiling anymore.


His hands slowly released her and he moved next to her. He put his elbows on the counter and his hands cradled his face. There’s yelling coming from the TV lounge and Jim leaned further over the counter to get a peak. Angela rushed through the door and past them and out the front entrance. Dwight walked through the door seconds later and tries to ignore the looks he’s was getting from Pam and Jim. He walked over to the stairwell and pulled the door open.


Jim glanced over at Pam. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged over to the stairs and then he was gone. Thirty minutes later Jim still wasn’t back and she had finished. She didn’t know if she should wait or head up to his room. She decided to leave before Phyllis asked her to do something else. She knew she would have said yes, and it would have be one more hour until she and Jim could pick up where they left off at.


She waited in his room. She left the door cracked so he could just come in and they could get down to business. Ten minutes later the door opened and Jim slunk in. He came over to the bed and laid down.


“What was that all about?”


“Angela is angry that Dwight has moved on.”


“Oh.”


“But really, what right does she have to be mad? She’s with Andy.” Jim put his hands behind his head.


“I’m sure that’s not the whole story.”


“Sure it is. Angela thinks it okay for her to date different people, but Dwight is supposed to pine away for her for the rest of his life.”


“Uh-huh.” Her tone was just a little too sarcastic.


“You’re going to take Angela’s side on this?”


“You haven’t heard Angela’s side of the story yet, so I don’t think it’s fair to put the blame on her.”


“She broke his heart, Pam. What else is there to say? She’s being kind of a bitch if you ask me.”


She could feel anger boiling in her stomach. He didn’t see Angela on the verge of crying that day while he was in the shower. She thought Jim would be more understanding.


“No one asked,” she snapped.


He sat up and looked surprised. “You are taking her side.”


“Maybe the break up was as hard as it was on her as it was on him.”


“Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean that she was any less cruel with him.”


“I didn’t say that.” She shook her head in disgust and laid back on the bed and turned on her side to face the wall. “You’re being a jerk.” She thought about how Angela stood in front of the door and waited for Pam to tell her who Elizabeth was to Dwight.


“Who was she?” She asked again with more force than Pam knew she had in her.


“Her name is Elizabeth. I think she’s his girlfriend.”


Her eyes grew wide, but she said nothing.


“He’s just trying to move on like you did.”


“I’m still in love with him.” She said quietly. Her voice sounded tightly wound like it would break if a tear dared to escape her eye.


“Why did you break up with him then?”


“My parents hated him when they met him this summer. They said that he was strange and that Martin women didn’t date men like that.”


“You broke up with Dwight for your parents?”


“Honor thy mother and father, Pam.” If Angela was Kelly she would have added ‘duh’ to the end of that sentence.


“And you think Andy is better husband material then Dwight?”


“My parents love him.”


“But you don’t. Fight for him then.”


Angela left that room on a mission. She was going to tell Dwight how she felt and break up with Andy, but when she found Dwight later that day he was with her. With that tall beautiful blonde girl and he looked so happy. She didn’t break up with Andy that day and instead had taken to giving Dwight the cold shoulder.


Jim rolled over and slid a hand up Pam’s shirt as he tried to kiss the back of her neck. She swatted his hand away.


“Wait,” he said while pushing himself up to look at her, “Are you really mad?”


“Kind of.”


He laughed and put his head back down on the pillow. His finger drifted to the skin on her side. His fingers made tiny circles until she turned to look at him.


He bit his bottom lip and she scooted her head closer to his.


“We just had our first small fight over Dwight and Angela. We are so sad.”


He put his arm behind her and pulled her closer and this time she didn’t hit him, she just gave into his kisses.


.

It was January. Jim he had never been so happy to actually go back to school. This would be the first time during their relationship that they could actually see each other on a whim without driving several hours. He was organizing his bookshelf and he placed Pam’s Christmas present to him on the shelf.


Jim sat cross legged in front of the Christmas tree at Pam’s house. He was holding a present for Pam in his lap. He leaned back on his hands and waited for her to come back downstairs with his. She skipped down the stairs holding way more boxes then he would have liked to see. He had one small gift and she was carrying multiple boxes for him.


“What are those?”


“Presents.”


“I only got you one, so...”


“Oh sorry, I forgot. One of these things is your Christmas present. The others are just small things I picked up for you in Italy. Souvenirs.”


“Thank God.”


She took a seat on the floor and moved his presents closer to him. He handed her the lone present.


“You first,” she said. “Open those two first.” She pointed to two small boxes that were wrapped in the same paper. “Those are the souvenirs.”


He opened the first one. There was a stack of King James III magnets in it.


“Where did you find these?” He laughed.


“Vatican City. I told you his body was entombed there.”


He set them down and went for the next box. It was a wallet.


“So funny story about the wallet. I got it on my third day there. I went up to this vendor to ask for directions and he has these wallets. I casually asked him how much and he tells me. It was kind of expensive and I haggled him down to half the price so I had to buy it.”

“So this gift is nothing more than you buying something you didn’t need?”


“Pretty much.”


“Thank you,” he said as he tilted his head to the side. “I opened two and I think it’s only fair that you open yours now.”


She was nervous. Roy always got her fake jewelry that would turn her skin green, but she wore it, because she loved him. This present was clearly not jewelry, unless Jim was really bad at wrapping things. She shook it next to her ear, but nothing really moved inside of it.


She peeled off the tape on the corner and then the other side. Jim watched in amazement as she was able to keep the paper completely intact.


“These are amazing Jim.” She turned the set of oil paints over a few times.


“I didn’t remember seeing any oil paints in your art supplies before. You don’t have any, right?”


She shook her head and continued looking at them. She leaned forward and kissed him.


“You’re turn.”


He picked up his last present. It was heavier than it looked. He tore a corner, but couldn’t tell what it was. He peeled a bigger piece from it.


“Do you know what this is?” He knew what it was and he was surprised that anyone other than his architect friends would know what it was.


“Yeah, it’s architectural monograph.”


“It’s an Eric Moss monograph,” he clarified like she didn’t know what it was that she bought him. He fingered through the pages. “How did you know that I liked him?”


“You mentioned it once, to my dad actually on my birthday.”


“And you remembered that?”


“Yeah.”


Now he sat in his room waiting for Pam to move her stuff into a room and he laughed about even asking her if she remembered some small detail that he said once. Because the truth was that he remembered everything she said. There was a point in time when he tried to make himself forget things because it just seemed like a sick obsession, but he couldn’t. He would remember things even when he was willing himself not to.


Pam was standing in front of Phyllis waiting for the key to her room. It was taking way too long. Phyllis seemed sort of nervous as she went through several different folders and checked her computer. Finally she walked up to Pam with an ominous expression.


“I can’t find your name in the database anymore. It’s just gone.”


“Can’t you just add me in there?” She said pragmatically.


“I could, but there still wouldn’t be an available room for you.”


“My housing request has been in since last April.”


“I’m so sorry.” And she did seem really sorry.


“What should I do?” She had her whole car packed with her stuff and she had nowhere to put it. She had nowhere to sleep.


“If you can find somewhere to stay for a week I’m sure there’ll be an open room by then. Lots of people decide that college isn’t right for them after that first semester and maybe a few of them have yet to check out of their rooms.”


Pam knew that was really wishful thinking on Phyllis’ part though. If people were going to leave they would have left before the break, not after it. “Thanks for looking so hard for me. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon for work.”


Pam fished her phone out her purse and called Kelly. She didn’t pick up.


“Hey Kelly. It’s Pam. I was wondering if I could ask you a huge favor. Call me back as soon as you get this.”


Pam walked back out to her car and threw the bag she was carrying back into the trunk. She sat on the bumper for a few minutes just thinking. Her phone ringing pulled her back to reality. It was Kelly. Pam explained her situation and then asked Kelly if she could crash on her couch for the next week. She agreed and Pam thought about saying never mind when Kelly said that every night would be just like a slumber party.


Jim was still in his room waiting for Pam to come up. He didn’t know what was taking her so long. He heard her knock and he jumped up to get the door.


“So what’s the verdict? What floor are you on?”


“Kelly’s,” she said.


“Huh?”


“Phyllis couldn’t find my room and she said that I would have to wait a week for a room to become available.”


“And you’re staying at Kelly’s?”


“Yeah.”



“Why didn’t you just ask me?”


“I didn’t want to intrude. One week of living with me and you would bolt.”


“Never,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist.


“I’m sure we’ll see each other plenty during this next week. No classes, nothing to do.”


“I can think of lots of things to do.” His fingers ran across her back and she shivered. “You can stay at Kelly’s under one condition.”


“Are you authorized to give conditions?”


“Yes. First and only condition. I reserve the right to a minimum of two nights here.”


“Maybe,” she said pulling out of his arms.


“Maybe? Pfft. You’re not allowed to play hard to get anymore. It doesn’t work when we’re together.”


“I don’t know. Seems like its working.”


“Alright, have it your way, but I give you one day before you get tired of Kelly.”
She sat on the bed and stretched her legs out. “I think you’re underestimating my tolerance of Kelly.”


He moved toward the bed and sat next to her feet. He grabbed them and placed them on his lap and slid his hand up her leg, but then suddenly Katy popped into his head. That was his move that always started out a night with Katy. He quickly moved her legs off of his lap. There was just something wrong about using moves that he used on Katy. That was one person he did not want in his head while he was with Pam.


“Let’s go for a walk.”


“Right now?”


He grabbed her hand and pulled her up out of the bed.


“What got into you?”


“What do you mean,” he said sort of defensively. He thought maybe she knew he had thought about Katy for a brief second.


“I thought you were... never mind.”


“Thought I was what?”


“I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I thought you wanted to have sex.” She was embarrassed to say it out loud.


“I can hang out with you and not have sex. It is possible.”


“I know. I just—forget it.” She linked her fingers with his.


They still weren’t great at talking about their relationship. Sometimes they were still stuck in friend mode.


“How’s Dwight? Is he still with Elizabeth?”


“She came to visit him at Schrute farms and she’s still hanging out with him.”


“Angela’s still in love with him,” she blurted out.


He stopped. “What?”


“She’s still in love with him. She told me last month.”


Jim didn’t say anything. He knew Dwight was still in love with her too, but some things were sacred between friends. It wasn’t his secret to share. Even if they were normally rivals, the fact that he could call Dwight a friend at any point in time meant something.


They walked for a while longer until it got colder and they turned back. Pam left for Kelly’s and Jim took the stairs two at a time up to Dwight’s room. His door was open, but he was playing a game on his computer.


“Can you pause that?”


“I’m in a guild meeting!” Dwight typed a message even though he had a headset on and could have easily just said it.


“I have to ask you something.”


Dwight removed the headset and waited for Jim to continue.


“If you could be with Angela again, would you?”


“I try not to dwell on the impossible.”


“Yes or no, Dwight?”


Dwight fiddled with his things on his desk for a minute before answering. “She made her choice, and I’ve made mine.”


“OK. Just wanted to check.”

He turned and headed down the stairs to his room, but he kept going. He walked until he reached Angela’s room. She wasn’t there, but he left a not for her on her white board.


“Can you stop by my room when you have a chance?” -Jim


He knew he was butting in where he shouldn’t, but these two clearly needed a push to get them on the right track.



.

.


Jim wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he asked Angela to stop by his room. He wasn’t sure what he would say. ‘Hey, I know you’re in love with Dwight and he’s in love with you too, maybe.’ That just seemed like the wrong thing to say. But what was the right thing to say. When he opened the door for Angela he froze. He should have thought this through more.


“What did you want?” She said sharply.


“I just... can you come in?”


She reluctantly entered and he closed the door behind her.


“I uh, I want to take Pam somewhere nice, like on a real date, and I needed some advice.” Angela was the last person he would ever ask for dating advice. He was surprised when she didn’t say church.


“There’s a new Italian restaurant downtown.” She said trying not to sound too annoyed that he was wasting her time.


“Did Andy take you there?”


She rolled her eyes and nodded.


“Thanks. I think Pam will really enjoy that.”


She reached for the door handle.


“I forgot. Next Friday I was going to do this movie night thing, before classes start. You should come. Everyone is going to be there. Me, Pam, Michael... Dwight.”


He watched as her eyes lit up. “I think I can go to that.”


He was going to have to go to the video store now and invite people. He should probably tell Pam what he was doing first. Maybe he could do it over dinner on a date. A date that didn’t include hanging out with their parents first. Their first real date.


He got online to look up the restaurant.


Pam was sitting on Kelly’s couch in her pajamas, listening to her bitch about her neighbors. Something about them being loud. It was hard to believe that someone could be louder than Kelly. Really hard.


It had been two weeks since Phyllis told her they didn’t have a room for her. Well they had rooms, just not in Dunder Hall and none of them were single rooms. She did the roommate thing before; she wasn’t up for it again. Better the devil you know then the one you don’t.


“He’s such a sea monster. Big and fat and stupid.”


Pam nodded her head, but didn’t make a sound. Kelly didn’t need to hear the uh-huhs and the oh reallys to keep talking; just eye contact to assure her that she wasn’t really talking to herself.


Pam wondered what Jim was doing. She knew what he wasn’t doing; he wasn’t listening to Kelly talk all morning. Maybe she could sleep in his room tonight.


“I really have to get ready for work,” she said looking over at the clock on the wall.


“Wow, I can’t believe we talked that long. I just lose track of time when we’re together.”


“Yeah, it’s weird how that happens.”


She grabbed her stuff and headed for the bathroom. She didn’t have to be at work for another hour, but she could use 30 minutes of quiet. She might pack some clothes in a bag so she could just stay at Dunder Hall.


She got to the office and opened it up for the afternoon. She was on her computer trying to pass the time until Jim came down to visit. And when Jim did walk in he looked amazingly good.


“What are you so spiffed up for? Got a hot date later that I don’t know about.”


“Actually, yes.” His face was emotionless; he made no effort to make it seem like a joke.


She furrowed her brows as she waited for him to explain. He stood in front of the desk and he finally tilted his head and let the corner of his mouth turn up slightly.


“What are you doing later?”


“Why?”


“Do you want go out with me tonight?”


“Are you really asking?”


“Yes, so just say yes.”


“Yes, I’ll go out with you. What’s with all properness?”


“I never actually asked you out. It just sort of happened and then I never asked you out on a date, I just took you out. I feel like we never did anything the way we’re supposed to. Not that we have to, I just don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out. So I’ll pick you up at Kelly’s at 7 then.”


Jim should have known things were going to be bad when he ran into Katy in the stairwell. He was in too good of a mood. He didn’t have his guard up. She smiled at him and he smiled back.


“You look nice. Going somewhere?”


“Yeah, I’m taking Pam out tonight.”


“Where to?”


“This Italian place.”


“Bring her flowers. Girls like flowers. Do you know what kind Pam likes?”


He shook his head no. There was still a lot he hadn’t learned about Pam, but there was time for that.


“Gerber daisies.”


“What?”


“You can’t go wrong with Gerber daisies.”


“Yeah, thanks for the advice.” Jim began walking faster suddenly realizing that all of people Katy shouldn’t be the person to tell about his plans for his date with Pam.


If Jim would have paid closer attention he would have seen that Katy had stopped once he reached his floor and she headed back downstairs.


Katy walked into the office noticing the smile on Pam’s face.


“You’re in a good mood.”


She nodded and tried to wipe the smile off of her face.


“Is Jim taking you out on a date?”


Pam shrugged her shoulders.


“He’ll probably take you to that little Italian place downtown. It’s his favorite.”


Pam rolled her eyes and focused back on her computer screen.


“And he’ll bring you flowers too. Gerber Daisies. He’s really a one trick kind of guy.”


“Excuse you?” Pam snapped.


“Don’t think you’re special because he dumped me for you. Jim treats all of his girlfriends the same way. He’ll get tired of you one day and dump you for someone else.”


Pam bit her lip to hold back her anger as Katy walked out of the office. She knew the kind of games Katy played. She fell for it last year and turned Jim away because she thought he was dating Katy.


Katy peeked her head back in the office. “I bet he puts your legs on his lap before going in to close the deal.”


Katy didn’t wait for Pam’s reaction. It was all just a shot in the dark. Katy had been with a lot of guys and a few things that she learned was that no matter how differently guys felt about their girlfriends they stuck to what they knew and what they knew girls liked. Whether it be different moves during sex or things they did on dates. How else would they perfect themselves into becoming that ideal man? She knew from looking at Pam that she hadn’t been around long enough to know that.


That last part was the only thing that shook her to her core. She remembered the way Jim put her legs on his lap and then suddenly pulled away. Was it because he caught himself doing something he used to do with Katy? As soon as she got off she rushed back to Kelly’s. Kelly tried to talk to her as she walked through the door, but Pam said that she had to get ready for a date. Kelly let out a scream of excitement.


She was nervously waiting. When the doorbell rang she jumped up from the couch, but slowed herself from running to the door. Katy had to be wrong.


“Wow,” she said as saw him.


He just gave her a small grin before handing her the flowers he had picked up earlier.


“You look beautiful.”


Those flowers, they were the same ones Katy said he would give her.


“Ready?” He asked extending his arm so she could hold it.


She followed him to the car but she didn’t take the arm he offered. She would wait till they got to the restaurant before making her final decision.


He parked the car and they walked a block to the restaurant. It was that damn Italian place.


Why would he take her on the same date that he took Katy on? During dinner all of these thoughts flew through her head. How many times had he used the “You’re the first girl that I’ve ever loved” line? How many girls had met his grandma? Spent the night there in his bed holding on to him during the night?


She tried to keep her cool during the date. She could be civil until they left. He saw that she wasn’t enjoying herself. He couldn’t think of anything that he did wrong.


On the ride home she didn’t speak. Even when he asked her something she would just nod and make a small grumbling noise. They were two blocks away from Kelly’s when he pulled the car over to the side of the road.


She looked at him. “What are you doing?”


“What’s with you tonight?”


“Nothing, just take me back to Kelly’s.”


“No. I’m not moving the car until you tell me.”


“If you wanted me to be just another Katy you could have been more honest about it. Because I’m really invested in this and it sucks that you lied. You had sex with me last month; there’s no need to put on a show for me now.” Her hands were trembling as she yelled at him.


“Do you really think that I would do something like that?” He spat back. “Do you honestly think that’s the kind of guy I am?”


“I didn’t, but now I really think you are.”


She opened the door and began walking towards Kelly's house. Jim jumped out of the car and ran after her.


“Pam? Come back. Don’t walk. It’s cold out here.”


She kept walking, not turning around to see him talk to her. He took her hand in his and she finally stopped.


“I can’t do this right now. I can’t look at you and be angry at you and be in love with you all at the same time. I just need to think about this for the night.”


He didn’t let go over her hand. “No, were going to do this now.”


“Fine. It sort of pisses me off that you took me on the same date that you took Katy on. And if you don’t see what’s wrong with that then we have an even bigger problem.”


“The same date as Katy?”


“Jim, she told me. You know she has a big mouth. Why you would even be able to keep it a secret is beyond on me.”


Then all of the pieces fell into place. “When did she tell you that?”


“Does it matter?”


“Yeah.”


“Right after you asked me out.”


“And did you find her timing at all suspicious?”


“A little,” she said more calmly.


“Because I mentioned to her that I was taking you on a date. It was stupid and I was in a good mood and I forgot that she could be so manipulative sometimes.”


“But what about the leg thing? A couple of weeks ago when we were in your room and you did the leg thing. Then you got weirded out. She said you would do that before you guys slept together.”


“That was true. I can’t take it back and as soon as I did it I knew it was wrong. But it’s going to happen sometimes. If you were my first for everything then I could promise you that it wouldn’t. And I’m sure they’ll be times that you’ll do something that you did with Roy, and if I knew I’d be mad too, for a while. It’s just something we’ll have to push through.”


“Sorry for yelling at you.”


“Its fine, but next time Katy runs to you with stories come and ask me first.”


She took a few steps into Jim until she was standing right beneath him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on his chest. He held her tightly.


“You still hungry? You didn’t really touch any of your food.”


“A little.”


“What’ll be then?”


“Something fattening and greasy.” She mumbled into his shirt.


“Pizza it is.”


They were definitely over dressed when they walked in, but he didn’t care and neither did she.


.

.


Pam had never been one to play games, especially not petty childish ones, but petty childish games were the only ones Katy knew how to play. Originally she was just going to let it go. If Katy had to lie just to get another shot at Jim then she was a sad person. But the next time Pam was at work and Katy came in with that smug look on her face she couldn’t forgive and forget. The way Katy condescendingly asked how their date was just started a fire inside of Pam.


Nope, she wasn’t going to be a pushover, not this time.


“It was really nice. He did everything so perfectly. We never made it to the restaurant though, but the trip to his bed was amazing. I have to know, how did you ever let him slip through your fingers?”


Katy turned on her heel and walked out. None of this made Pam feel better about the situation, but Jim wasn’t Katy’s anymore and if lying to Katy about that night made her a sad person too then she was okay with that, because she had Jim and Katy didn’t.


After work she headed up to Jim’s. She had been staying there more often after their fight. She loved waking up next to Jim. Smelling his skin in the morning and feeling his body next to hers. Sure sleeping in a twin bed was often uncomfortable, but sleeping on Kelly’s couch wasn’t any more comfortable.


It was a Friday afternoon and they had both gone to their classes and come back in a hurry to see each other. She headed off to the shower after they were done. She lazily wrapped a towel around her and Jim stared at her from the bed. She didn’t see Michael walking around the corner as she walked into the shower.


It wasn’t until later when Jim and Pam headed downstairs to get some lunch that they found out that Michael knew they had sex this afternoon.


“You guys are really enjoying living together,” Michael said.


Phyllis looked up at the three.


“What?” Jim asked.


“I bet you guys have tons of sex every night.”


“There’s this line of appropriateness and you passed that probably 10 words ago.” Jim said coolly.


“So you are?” Michael obviously not getting the hint.


Pam shook her head at Michael and Phyllis cleared her throat.


“Pam?”


“Yeah?”


“Did I hear Michael right? Are you living with Jim?”


“No, I’ve just been staying over every once in a while.”


“How much is every once in a while?”


“I dunno, a couple days here, a few days there. It’s just until I get a room, I promise.”


“You’re going to have to vacate the room, or I’ll be forced to report this to Jan.”


“Come on Phyllis! Lots of kids have people sleep over every night.”


“Yes Jim, but you’re the RA. You’re supposed to set an example not show them all how to break the rules. No more of this. You know you’re only allowed to have a guest 7 nights out of a month, so I suggest you choose your nights wisely.”


“Someone’s in a bad mood.” Michael said as he inconspicuously pointed at Phyllis but it didn’t matter because she was still in ear shot and she heard him.


“Thanks Michael, we owe you one.”


Karma was working its magic though. No less than an hour later was word spreading about Jan being fired. Apparently someone had seen Jan leaving the building last week, but not before kissing Michael. Then it eventually came out that Michael and Jan had been dating for at least two years.


Jim was surprised that Michael could keep anything a secret that long. To think that Michael and Jan were sleeping together when he was a freshman was surprising. He did feel bad for him though. He knew what it was like when you couldn’t be near the person you loved and Jan was definitely not allowed in the building anymore.


Pam adjusted to living on Kelly’s couch. She gave up on the idea of living in Dunder Hall this year. It was sort of hopeless after the first week. She gave Kelly a hundred bucks a month and she bought half of the food. It was actually a really good deal, but she would have rather paid for room and board in Dunder Hall.


Staying somewhere else did make seeing Jim on those rare occasions, through out the week and if she was lucky through out the day, that much better.


*******************************************************************


The year had really flown by. The semester was half over and she turned 21 today and tonight she would go out with Jim and their friends.


Her hand shook when she handed her ID to the bouncer. It was like she was sneaking into a bar and any minute she would be caught and kicked out.


“Happy Birthday,” the bouncer said as he handed her back the ID.


“Thanks.”


Jim followed her in and led her to a table with a hand on the small of her back. Everyone was there. Even Angela. Most likely Andy made her come, and maybe she came partly to see Dwight too.


The first shot was on the house, and so were the second and the third. The bartender was relentlessly flirting with Pam. Jim casually slid his hand over Pam’s and wrapped his fingers around her hand. She smiled a goofy smile and her thumb ran over his pinky. The bartender backed away from Pam. Jim looked up at him and his mouth flinched into a quick smile at the bartender letting him know that she was taken.


“Hey, let’s go back to the table. You’ll never guess who just showed up.”


“The Dalai Lama?”


“It’s actually more shocking than that and probably 30 times more uncomfortable than you could imagine.”


As the crowd parted she saw that brown haired lady sitting next to Michael. Jan.


Pam pulled on Jim’s arm.


“Jan? Your boss, Jan, is here?”


“Ex-boss and technically she was your boss too.”


They walked slowly the rest of the way to the table and Pam wasn’t sure if she should say hi. It wasn’t like they talked on a normal basis. She knew Pam’s name and knew she worked in the office, but she was her boss and bosses don’t interact with lowly office workers, that’s why they had Phyllis.


“Jan, this is the birthday girl, Pam.” Michael dramatically motioned between the two.


She was glad that Michael had reintroduced her. It may have been the only time Michael had taken an uncomfortable situation and made it less uncomfortable.


She wasn’t sure what it was about the alcohol that just made Jim seem so damn irresistible. It probably wasn’t even the alcohol. She only had a few drinks, maybe more, she lost track two hours ago. But she waited till Jim went to the bathroom and she followed him. She waited patiently outside of the door and when he walked out of the bathroom looking down wiping his hands together she caught a belt loop on his jeans and pulled him. He hadn’t seen her there. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure how she got there by herself. She had been leaning more and more with every drink and he had been holding her up. He was about to cut her off when he got back to the table, but apparently that wasn’t necessary now.


“Hey,” she said biting her bottom lip.


“What are you doing here? Did you need to go to the bathroom? Meredith can take you.”


She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him closer.


“Do you think they’ll notice if we leave?”


“Are you tired?”


She shook her head no, not understanding how he didn’t know that she just wanted him so bad right now.


“Do you want to go to a different bar?”


She huffed and pulled him closer again and kissing his neck.


“Oh, I get it. You want to take me home and take advantage of me in your drunken state.” He laughed unable to continue the charade of pretending not to know what she wanted.


“Uh-huh,” she mumbled against his chin as she worked her way closer to his mouth.


“I think I can arrange that.”


It wasn’t that hard convincing people that Pam was pretty plastered, the only hard part was convincing people that she didn’t need to throw up before she left. They acted as if it was some sort of ritual. Drink until you can’t drink no more and then throw up until you can’t throw up any more. He didn’t doubt that Pam would feel like shit in the morning.


When they got back into Dunder Hall Jim picked her up and carried her down the hallway because she had conceded to sort of squatting in the corner of the elevator, unable to stand any more.


He put her pajamas on her and pulled back the covers and let her get in. As soon as he pulled the covers up she was out. He watched TV for a bit before lying down.


Just before midnight he turned the TV off and shuffled over to the bed climbing in next to her. He scooted up behind her and wrapped a hand around her waist while the other hand combed through the curls fanned out across her back.


“Happy Birthday,” he whispered.


“Thanks.”


“I thought you were sleeping.”


“I was,” she said sleepily.


“I have something for you.”


“You’re going to give it to me now,” she said sitting up.


“Yeah.” He crawled out of bed.


He opened the top draw of his desk and searched with the moonlight for the gift. She laughed because it was sitting next to her all night before they went out and not once had she seen it. He walked back over and kneeled on the bed.


“Here,” he said handing her a tiny box. “But before you open it and think to yourself ‘great jewelry, how original’ I just want to say that it’s not.”


She slowly pulled the single ribbon off. Truthfully she didn’t care if it was just jewelry. It was from Jim and really that’s all that mattered. She lifted the lid off and there was a ring inside.


She picked up the ring between her fingers and tried to see it in the little light in the room. “Can you turn on a light?”


“Yeah.” He reached behind them and turned on a lamp.


Finally in the light she could see it. It was just a simple silver band, no stones. But as she really looked at it she could see that it was different, unique. It was squared and there were grooves cut into it.


“Wow. It’s beautiful. I love it.” She slid it on her finger.


“Don’t laugh, but it was designed by an architect. That’s why I got it, not because an architect made it, but because it’s as close as I can get to putting a ring that means something to me on your finger.”


“Wow, just when I think you can’t get any better you say something so utterly amazing.”


“I would have given it to you before, but drunk people tend to lose stuff.”


“Who are you calling drunk?” She pushed against his chest.


He lifted her hand and kissed her finger with the ring on it. “Certainly not you.”


She pulled him on top of her, finally getting what she wanted all night. “I love you,” she whispered into his neck.


The next day she would go home and listen to Kelly scream when she saw the little teal box she was carrying.


“Jim got you a ring from Tiffany’s!”


“Yeah,” she said sheepishly spinning the ring on her finger.


And she would wear that ring all the time, she would never take it off, that is until that night when their relationship came crashing in around them 8 months later.

Here's the ring, it's real. Frank Gehry, architect extraordinaire, created jewelry for Tiffany's.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2006-1/1139117/frankgehrytiff.jpg