She was patiently posing for yet another photo with Toby when Pam noticed Jim standing alone next to the parking lot exit gate. His posture was more of a slump than a stand as he leaned against the metal pole, and despite their distance she could easily tell he was not happy.

Jim had gone oddly silent since Andy's surprise proposal to Angela, and despite Pam's best attempts she hadn't been able to conjole him into a better mood like she usually could. This, combined with a brief conversation with Phyllis, convinced Pam that her earlier suspicions had been well founded. And despite having spent so much time waiting for him to act, Pam found she wasn't willing to wait one more  minute. Not when the alternative was seeing Jim like this.  She excused herself in mid-conversation with Toby and Meredith and headed over to Jim.

Pam reached out and brushed her hand against his arm. “Hey.”

Jim looked up and gave her a half-smile. “Hey.” He glanced over her shoulder at the group of people still milling around the parking lot then turned his focus back to her. “You want to get out of here?”

“In a minute,” she said. “Can I talk to you about something first?”

“Okay,” Jim agreed, somewhat confused.

Pam took his hand and started walking slowly backwards. “Let's go someplace quieter.” He nodded and silently followed her around the side of the building, walking far enough back that the overhead security lights only barely reached them, and the shadows gave the impression of being finally alone.

Pam stopped near a door that lead to the warehouse, and leaned back against against it, pulling Jim closer.

“What's up?” Jim asked, both excited and afraid that he suspected what she was going to say.

Pam stared up into his eyes for a moment, then smiled a sort of apologetic sad smile. “I'm sorry things didn't quite go as planned today.”

Jim tilted his head, looking at her quizzically. “What do you mean?”

Again her eyes searched his before she spoke. She hadn't exactly expected him to come right out and admit he had planned on proposing tonight, but his reaction to her comment convinced her even more that her instinct was right. He just looked too anxious, his voice sounded too strained, too agitated for her to be wrong about this. And she wanted to be right about this so much that she just couldn't let it go.

“The fireworks were pretty amazing,” Pam said.

“Yeah,” Jim replied softly, looking everywhere but at her. “Yeah, they were okay.”

“I was surprised we had the money for them,” she added. When Jim didn't say anything she continued. “I asked Phyllis how we managed to afford everything.”

With that, Jim at last met her gaze. He saw that she had figured it out, and he didn't know if that made him feel better or worse. “For all the good it did me,” he mumbled darkly.

Pam let go of his hand and brought it up to his face. “Hey, the night's not over,” she encouraged him.

He shook his head slightly but with conviction. “No, not like this.”

Pam felt the tears she'd bitten back earlier rising again. Why couldn't he see how he didn't need some ideal time to ask her? It was the enormous unasked question floating between them for weeks now, and the ridiculousness of it all was wearing her down. She knew he was going to ask. She knew he had to know what her answer would be.  Why were they still tiptoeing around it?

“Not like what?” She asked, her voice shaking slightly with frustration.

Jim couldn't even begin to put it into words. Asking her to marry him was supposed to be one of the defining moments of his life, and to do it now seemed like a throwaway. Especially considering Andy - of all people! -  had made such a spectacle proposing to Angela less than an hour ago.

He sighed deeply. “Pam...”

She felt a tear slip down her cheek, not for her, but for him. She needed to make him understand that all she wanted was him. “Jim,” she half-laughed, her voice catching in her throat. “Are you really going to make me beg?”

Even in the faint light he saw she was crying, and it was his undoing. “Shh,” he said, pulling her into arms and kissing her. “Please. Please don't cry.”

Pam kissed him back, and they stood together like that, pressed up against the cold door, while in the background the sounds of people leaving for the night filtered past. When Jim finally stepped back, his face was a mask of indecision.

“You --” He stopped, completely at a loss as to what to say.

“You know, I've had a really good day so far,” she said quietly, her arms still tightly linked around his neck. “I'm really hoping it ends that way.”

Jim closed his eyes and kissed her forehead, pulling her against him again. “What am I going to do with you?” He whispered into her hair.

“Please just ask me,” she whispered back.

Jim held her a moment longer, then broke away. He knew what he was going to do. “Give me ten minutes,” he told her, his voice rough with emotion. “Give me ten minutes then come up to the roof.”

Pam couldn't hide her smile if she'd had to. “Ten minutes,” she agreed. She leaned against the metal door as she watched Jim walk back toward the front of the building. She knew it was going to be the ten longest minutes of her life.

Pam lasted about a minute and a half before she knew she couldn't stand there and be patient any longer. She tried to walk slowly toward the front door, but the butterflies in her stomach kept pushing her forward. She watched as Stanley walked across the street and got into his car. She smiled as she remembered watching him dancing with the band earlier in the evening, and how Jim had grinned as well when she pointed the scene out to him.

She loved that could still hear the deep timbre of his voice when he leaned over and said suggestively to her, "Think Stanley will teach me those moves?" But she loved even more how he blushed when she whispered back, "You don't need any help with your moves."

A glance at her watch said she still had seven minutes to wait, so she leaned against the wall next to the front doors and stared up at the ferris wheel, still alight and slowly circling. She could see Andy and Angela in one of the cars, and Bob Vance and Phyllis in another. Dwight sat in the center of a car all alone, and for a moment Pam's heart went out to him. In her disappointment with Andy's interruption she'd forgotten that someone else must have been reeling from that announcement too. She told herself she'd have to ask Jim what they should do for him.

With that she automatically turned her thoughts back to Jim, and wondered why they hadn't ridden the ferris wheel yet. She had half-expected him to ask her, and told herself that if he did, it meant he was going to propose. Part of her was kind of happy he hadn't chosen to do that. She had a brief vision of puking over the side of car due to nerves, and decided that definitely would not have been the way to remember their engagement.

She was still daydreaming about being on the ride with Jim when a hand waved in front of her face. She blinked to see Toby standing next to her.

"You okay, Pam?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah," Pam said quickly. "Yeah, I'm good."

Toby looked over at the ferris wheel then at the ground. "Hey, you want to take a ride on that with me?" He asked, looking up hopefully.

Pam considered the offer. It would eat up the time she still had to wait, but something about it just didn't appeal to her. She didn't want to be distracted from what she knew was coming soon. "Ah, no thanks, Toby," she replied, watching his expression fall. "I have to go meet Jim in a few minutes, actually."

"Surely he can wait, right?" Toby asked. "I mean, when are you going to get another chance?"

Pam knew she should just be polite and agree to a quick ride, but something in his needling bothered her. It was a vague unease like she'd felt that night he'd accidently put his hand on her knee only to leave it there for an uncomfortable period of time. "No, I'm sorry, Toby," she replied, turning to enter the building. "I really should go find him."

Toby took a step toward her, putting his hand on the door. She couldn't see how she could open the door without asking him to move so she looked at him expectantly.

"You know, it's really not that expensive to fly to Costa Rica," Toby said casually. "You should think about coming down to visit me."

Now Pam was starting to feel a real discomfort around him.  "Have you been drinking, Toby?" She joked.

"A little," he shrugged. "But I mean it. I'd love to have you come visit."

"Maybe," Pam said, hoping to end the conversation quickly. "I'll mention it to Jim. Maybe we could both come down to see you sometime."

Before Toby could reply, she pulled hard on the door and stepped into lobby. She didn't look back, feeling like she was practically running for the elevator. She was grateful when the doors opened immediately and she could step inside the car.

"Goodbye, Toby," she sighed to herself as she pressed the button to take her to the top floor.

 

She stood at the base of the ladder and checked her watch again. Nine minutes? How had only nine minutes passed since he'd told her to meet him up here? She placed her foot on the first rung, debating the merits of being early.

 

He said ten minutes, she thought to herself. Give him his ten minutes. She dropped her foot back down to the floor and leaned again the railing, watching intently as the second hand took a leisurely three hundred and sixty degree sweep.

“Okay, that's ten,” she said to herself.

As Pam climbed the short ladder up to the roof hatch, she felt herself shaking slightly. Was she anxious? Nervous? She was starting to second guess herself. Maybe she shouldn't have pushed Jim. He'd propose to her when he was ready, right? When he wanted to. She wondered if it still counted as a real proposal if she was practically making him do it. But then again, sometimes he just needed that little nudge of encouragement.

She paused only a moment before pulling herself up onto the roof, thankful that Jim had kept the door open for her. She always had that brief sensation of falling when she had to open that door and hold on to the ladder at the same time. She couldn't remember if she'd ever mentioned that fact to him, or if it was just another example of his thoughtfulness.

She glanced up at the sky as she stepped out onto the roof, and noticed with slight disappointment that it was filled with nothing but an inky blackness. Not a single star was visible for her to wish on. She pushed the thought out of her mind and looked instead for Jim.

She had taken no more than three steps when she saw him. He was standing with his back toward her, in his typical position of hands shoved into pockets. He was near the roof's edge facing south, a glittering view of the moon just starting its ascent over the downtown skyline. She watched as the lights from the ferris wheel flickered slightly as they rotated around his silhouette like errant fireflies.

She walked over silently and slipped her right arm through his left one, leaning her head against his shoulder as she looked up at him.

“Hey,” she said, trying to read his mood.

His focus had been on following the circular motion of the amusement ride, but when she spoke he turned his face toward her.

“Hey,” he replied, slipping his hand out of his pocket to grasp hers.

“Quite a day,” she mused.

 

“Yep.” He turned his gaze back toward the ferris wheel.

She waited for him to continue, to say something more, but he didn't. She was fast losing confidence in how this night might still play out when finally he did speak again.

He cleared his throat, as if perhaps he'd simply been physically unable to talk. With the hand that still held hers, he gestured over the roof edge's to the party that was fast coming to a close in the parking lot.

“I'm afraid the chairs are still down there,” he said, his voice slightly rough.

Pam shrugged. “That's okay.”

“And I don't have the blanket--”

“It's downstairs--”

“--on the chairs.” They said at the same time. Jim almost smiled at that, though his continued tentativeness won out.

“It doesn't matter,” Pam said dismissively.

“It doesn't leave us any place to sit up here.”

Pam gently tugged at his hand, leading him a few steps away from the edge. She let go of his hand so she could slip off her pink jacket and then unceremoniously draped it on floor of tar paper and gravel. She slipped off her shoes as well, then sat down cross-legged on her coat.

“Works for me,” she smiled, her expression encouraging him to do the same.

Jim stared down at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he shook his head slightly and smiled. It was a genuine smile, one that told Pam things were finally looking up.

Jim took off his suit jacket wordlessly, mimicking Pam's motion as he spread it out and sat down on it. They faced each other, knees touching knees, and it was easy for Jim to reach over and take her hands in his.

“Look at you,” he said softly, his thumbs running over the tips of her fingers.

“What?” She smiled self-consciously.

“You aren't going to be phased by anything tonight, are you?”

“I might,” she replied, her gaze steady and hopeful.

He turned his eyes back down to their clasped hands. “It's safe to say,” he said, letting out a deep breath, “that today didn't exactly go as I'd planned.”

She squeezed his hands in sympathy. “It doesn't matter,” she said again.

Jim let out a loud laugh that sounded more like a bark, startling Pam. “Andy Bernard,” he said. “If I had to lay odds on who would ruin everything, I have to say my money would have been on Dwight.” He shook his head again. “I did not see that one coming. At all.”

Pam couldn't help but a giggle a little. “Oh my God, I know! Did you see Angela's face?”

“She looked a bit pissed off at the whole thing, didn't she?”

“Even more than usual. Which is saying something.”

Jim tilted his head. “Why did she say yes then?”

“No idea. She can't possibly be in love with him.”

“Is she capable of being in love with anybody?”

“Jim--” Pam said in a slightly chiding manner. “You know she can.”

“I mean besides those of the feline persuasion.”

“Um, hello? Dwight?”

“Oh, yeah.” Jim frowned. “You don't think she accepted Andy to get at Dwight, do you?”

“She wouldn't.”

“Wouldn't she?”

Pam shrugged. “I don't know. I guess anything's possible. But I hope she'd be above such a thing, given her love of all things moral, pulling a stunt like that.”

“You mean having a fiance just to make someone else jealous?”

“Yeah.”

“Now that would be brutal - you can trust me on that.”

Pam knew he was playfully baiting her, yet she couldn't resist replying. “I wasn't engaged to make you jealous, you know. I was engaged before I even knew you.”

“I know.”

“And sometimes people don't even need to go that far. Having a girlfriend to make someone else jealous is mean enough.”

Jim raised his eyebrows in surprise at her allegation, but gave no denial.

“Well, on purpose or not, I was still jealous,” he said in a low voice, his eyes focused on a spot over her shoulder.

“Me too,” Pam replied. Their eyes met and Pam pushed ahead with a question that had long nagged at her but she had been afraid to ask. “Did—did you ever come up here with her?” She said it in rush, her eyes darting away from his gaze. She knew she should be well past all that – and in most ways she was – but still....

Jim didn't need any clarification.

“No,” he said, his answer simple but emphatic. “No, I didn't.”

Pam nodded vigorously. “Oh, okay.” She felt embarrassed that she'd even asked, that she'd given him a glimpse of how insecure she could sometimes be even now, and tried to think of something to say to change the subject. But it became clear Jim still had more to say on the matter.

“I never suggested coming up here to her,” he continued. “In fact, one time she asked about it and I lied to her.”

“What?” Pam's head jerked up in surprise.

Jim grinned ruefully and released on her hands to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah, we were walking into work one morning and she'd noticed some guys up on the roof. It was around the time the Spring weather finally arrived and she suggested we have lunch up here.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her we weren't allowed up on the roof.”

Pam couldn't help but smirk. “You did not.”

He nodded, “I did. I said it invalidated our lease if we were caught up here without authorization.”

“And she believed you?”

“Seemed so. She never mentioned it again.”

Pam shook her head. “You're awful.”

Jim shrugged. “I never wanted to, so I didn't.”

“Well, I'm glad.”

“Thought you might be.” Jim smirked squeezing her hand. “What about you?”

“Who would I bring up here?”

“No, that's not what I meant. Did you come up here a lot, you know – after?”

“After you left?”

“Yeah.”

Pam shook her head. “No. Not at all.”

“Ah.”

“I was in denial for a long time after you left for Stamford. Coming up here would have made me face you were really gone.”

Jim nodded.

“And I didn't dare come up here when you came back,” she continued, “because I was afraid that I'd either find you up here alone or find you up here with her. Both were equally terrifying ideas.”

Jim quirked his brow. “Terrifying?”

“Yeah,” she insisted. “I worked pretty hard at pretending I was okay with things as they were,” she paused, trying to put those memories into words, “that you were with her, and we – well, we weren't really anything anymore. If I would have found you up here – well,” she paused again. This wasn't the conversation she imagined them having tonight. She didn't like talking about that time, because it forced her to remember all the mistakes she made and how foolish she had been.

Jim saw her struggling to continue. “It would have been awkward,” he added quietly.

“I would have probably fallen apart right there,” she murmured. “I mean, this is...this is our place.”

Jim shifted position, stretching out his legs and pulling Pam closer to him. “Come here,” he instructed. As she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder, he kissed the top of her head. “It's funny you should say that,” he chuckled.

“Why?” She asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Because,” he said, kissing her hair again, “if I'm being truthful, that's exactly the reason I never brought her up here.”

Pam giggled. “Ah, so now the truth comes out.”

He pinched her arm playfully as he hugged her closer. “Like you didn't already know that,” he chided.

“Tell me anyway,” she replied.

But before Jim could speak they were startled by a sudden darkness. It took them both a moment to realize that the change was due to the ferris wheel being turned off.

“I guess the party's over,” Jim mused.

“Not yet,” Pam replied. “Tell me.”

Jim glanced around, his eyes slowly adjusting to the change. “This used to be my favorite place in the whole world,” he finally said.

“Used to be?”

He nodded, but didn't respond directly to her question. “For a long time it was the only place I never had to share you. It was the only place I knew I had been that Roy hadn't.”

“Oh,” was all Pam could think to say.

“So even when I was telling myself that I had moved on, that I had gotten over you, part of me knew I was a liar because I couldn't even consider the idea of bringing anyone else up here. It was like that last little bit of hope that wouldn't die.”

“Yeah,” Pam said softly tightening her arms around him. “I know.”

“Which probably explains,” Jim smiled, “why we both had the idea to come up here for the lunch the day after our date.”

“And every other time we could sneak away,” she agreed.

They looked at each other, then kissed, then stayed wrapped together in warm silence for a while. They could hear the sounds of the equipment from the party being taken away, and knew it wouldn't be too long before they would be the only two there.

Pam felt content, even as she was aware of the fact that he still hadn't proposed. Maybe it was enough for now that Jim was clearly feeling better, and they were together. That's what really mattered, right? Nothing made her happier than feeling close to him.

Jim's left arm dropped from its place around her shoulders as he tried to sit up a bit straighter. Pam noticed his shifting position and realized how uncomfortable sitting on the tar and gravel was. She assumed he was trying to stand up, so she pulled away from him, attempting to do the same.

“Where are you going?” He asked, his arm encircling her again.

“I thought you were getting up,” she explained.

“No, I was just getting something.” It was then she noticed him transferring a small object from his left hand to his right. “But I guess we are going to have to get up if I'm to do this properly.”

Even in the dim lighting she could see a smile that was spreading all the way to his eyes. She looked down at his right hand, and at what was now obviously a small box, and then back up to his face.

“Jim,” she said, feeling idiotically flustered given that she knew this was why they'd gone up there to begin with.

“Are you going to let me get up?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Pam's eyes went back to the small box, her heart pounding as she contemplated what it contained. “I'm pretty sure I couldn't stand if I wanted to.”

Jim's laughter was infectious but the butterflies in her stomach continued to beat their wings rapidly. “Okay, then,” he said.

He cleared his throat once again, as the box stayed closed in his palm. “Pam, I don't think I ever really considered this an appropriate place to do this, but I was wrong. I realized now this should have been the location from the start.”

Pam nodded, words completely eluding her. She involuntarily clutched the front of Jim's shirt between her fingers as he opened the small box. Even in the shadows the diamond ring sparkled.

“I know you can barely see this,” he apologized, “but it represents everything you mean to me. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She practically shouted. “Yes, yes, yes!” Pam couldn't be sure if her response was more of a laugh or a cry, though tears were certainly involved. “It's beautiful,” she whispered as he slid the ring on her finger with a shaking hand.

“It's nicer in the daylight,” he said sardonically.

“I doubt it,” she replied, nudging him in the stomach with her elbow. “I love it.” She looked up at him. “I love you.”

When they finally did get to their feet, celebrating on their minds, Pam glanced up at the sky again. She was pretty sure she could now make out a few twinkling stars, but it didn't matter. Her wish had already come true.