The knock came on a rainy Friday night.

Mark was out with his girlfriend all weekend and Jim had decided to celebrate his night alone by spending some quality time with Sportscenter and a beer.

With a sigh of irritation, he made his way to the door wondering if maybe Mark and Jillian had changed their plans because of the storm. The last thing he expected to find on the other side of his front door was a soaking wet Pam. She glanced up at him quickly and her blotchy red eyes made him freeze for a second.

"Can I come in?" she sniffed. Her voice jarred him out of his astonishment and into worry-mode.

"Oh! Yeah sorry come in, come in. Pam what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?"

She didn't say anything for a second and he spent that time looking her over for bruises or other signs that she'd been hurt. Just the mere thought of Roy, or anyone, hurting her was already souring his mouth with the faint taste of bile.

"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I don't know what I was thinking. I just really needed a friend." She sounded hesitant, and stepped back toward the now-closed front door.

"Pam, no, look at me. I am your friend." he insisted. "Tell me what's wrong. Let me help you. I promise we can fix it."

"No. No I can't. I can't fix this and I..." as her voice wavered the tears started to fall more quickly, mixing with the dripping of rain water off her crazy-curled hair. He didn't know what to do. Seeing her standing there just crying was killing him.

"Jim," she said, and leaned toward him with arms outstretched.

In an instant, he was there, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He had no idea what was wrong but his own eyes were tearing up a little at the sound of her sobs, and he wasn't about to let go of her until her tears were spent. In the background, the voices of the celebrity sports panel changed to the sleek sounds of a car commercial. Jim just stood there breathing in the scent of her shampoo and wondering how someone so wet and shivery could still feel so warm against his chest.

When she calmed down he shifted his arm a little to stroke her back a few times. At the same time he noticed that he was now nearly as wet as Pam, and that she was still shivering in her jeans and jacket.

She sniffed a few more times and then let go of him.

"Sorry. I'm a mess. Oh, and now you are too!" she said apologetically.

"Pam, please just tell me what's wrong." Not knowing was scaring him.

She took a deep breath to steady herself and then said the words quickly like she was trying not to think about what they meant.

"Roy broke up with me."

He didn't know what to say. Roy had broken up with her and she had run to him? He tried not to think about that as he cautiously ventured, "I'm so sorry Pam."

She was quiet too.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked after a minute.

She nodded slowly and then shivered again.

"Okay," he said, "but first let's get you out of those wet clothes. You're going to catch your death."

"Yes, Mom." she teased. And the small smile on her face gave him more hope than anything that she'd be okay. He smiled back, but he was still concerned.

"Just come with me."

-----

Her jeans were heavy and her toes squished in her shoes with each step she took, but she had made it here to his house, to him. She was safe again.

She climbed the stairs behind Jim marveling at how normal it felt to be in his house even though she'd never been here before. Her eyes were still burning but she felt like she had run out of tears, at least for now.

She had hoped it would be like this. Expected it, actually. Jim was her best friend in the office. He was always there for her when she was having a problem with Roy or with work or whatever. In fact, lately, Jim had become almost her only friend.

Roy never wanted to hear about what was going on with her sisters, or at work, or the show she had seen that made her laugh. But Jim did. He listened to her no matter how trivial the topic. Or how serious.

She had hoped that he would be there for her again now, expected it enough that she had run here in the rain.

-----

Jim led Pam up to his room where he found some old sweats for her to put on, and then he showed her the bathroom and told her maybe she should take a shower to warm-up first.

"Thanks, Jim. You really are a great friend."

She said the words quietly and then closed the bathroom door, but they hadn't been quiet enough to soothe the sting he felt as she called him just a friend. He knew he wanted to be more than a friend to her. He had wanted it ever since the first time they'd convinced Dwight that DNA testing proved the Schrutes were descended from a mix of Klingons and Vikings. And for a few wild minutes he had let himself wonder if her coming over here tonight was her way of saying that she wanted that too.

He still couldn't believe she was here. He sat down on his bed and listened to the shower run, trying as hard as he could not to picture Pam in his shower. But after just a few seconds he knew he'd have to keep himself distracted somehow.

-----

The water was warm and soothing. If she hadn't been so aware of the fact that she was at Jim's house, using Jim's soap, staring at the off-white tile in Jim's shower, she would have been humming along to the song that had been stuck in her head ever since she had left Roy at the restaurant.

She wondered if Roy was worried about her. Would he call her mom demanding that she tell him where she was? Or was he too drunk by now to even notice her absence?

She didn't really care one way or the other. Thinking about Roy only brought more tears. She tilted her face up to the water streaming down and held her breath as the wetness washed away the salty streaks that had run down her cheeks.

-----

Jim wandered into his kitchen wondering if he had anything he could offer Pam. Seeing nothing, he quickly decided to capitalize on this opportunity, and grabbed his keys.

By the time he made it back from the grocery store Pam was just coming down the stairs. He dropped his bags on the kitchen counter, then called for her to join him.

"Behold: everything you need to cure your breaking-up woes." He said with a dramatic sweep of his arms.

"Wow! This is perfect. You got everything! Ice cream, licorice, jelly bellys, junior mints, and... are those french onion?" she asked, her eyes lighting up as they settled on a big bag of Sun Chips.

"Yeah, you said those were your favorite, right?"

"Yeah, they are." She smiled. In the back of her mind the thought registered that Roy had never been able to remember stuff like that.

 

 

 

"Halpert, you are such a girl."

"What? Just because I occasionally enjoy watching someone prepare a delicious meal, that makes me a woman now?"

"This is Martha Stewart! She's like obsessed with table settings and stationary and decorative thing-a-ma-bobs for every single holiday."

"Hey! This is what my mom watches. It's like being home again."

Pam just laughed.

"I am not a girl," Jim said petulantly, changing the channel to preserve whatever shred of his dignity was left after the last couple of hours. In that time he and Pam had eaten their way through a good portion of what Pam had termed his "break up party spread." They hadn't done much talking yet, but Jim knew it was coming. He didn't want to push Pam, though, so he kept joking with her instead. He would rather have her laughing than crying anyway, though he knew there would probably be a few more tears before the night was over.

"Are too," Pam shot back, her eyes lighting up teasingly.

"Am not," Jim insisted, wondering what possibly could have possessed Roy. If Pam were his to break up with there was no way he would ever let her go. He couldn't even fathom it. How could Roy be so stupid?

"Are too."

"Am not plus infinity."

She didn't say anything, just rolled her eyes. Five minutes later as he flipped through the cable news channels she leaned over and whispered in his ear

"Are too." He would have done more than just smile, if it wasn't for the fact that her whisper had left him with goosebumps running up and down his whole body.

-----

Thirty minutes later they were laughing through a re-run of SNL and eating rocky road ice cream out of the same carton.

Fifteen minutes after that she was sobbing again, into the arm of his couch this time, as he tried to piece her garbled mumblingstogether into a coherent narrative of what had happened. From what he could tell Roy had simply decided that Pam wasn't the one for him, and then told her he'd be moving out the next day.

-----

"Because..." he mumbled tiredly a few hours later.

"Because what?" She was looking at the movie on his TV screen and not at him. Maybe that was what gave him to courage to keep talking.

"Because you deserve more than that."

"What?"

"You... you're... You deserve to have someone love you because of all that stuff not in spite of it."

"You think someone's gonna fall in love with me because I spend the whole day talking to strangers on the phone, but I can't even order pizza by myself? That's not a lovable quality, Jim, that's being too shy to function."

"I think it's cute."

"Okay, well, what about the way I dance? Roy was right about that at least. Even you wouldn't think my dorky dance moves are cool."

"Oh really? Come on, try me!"

"No way. That is definitely not happening."

"Come on, Pam, dance with me," he said, suddenly rising to his feet, not nearly as tired as he'd been a few seconds before. He reached down to pull her up next to him.

"There's no music," Pam said.

Jim flipped down a few channels to a music video of some inane pop song. Then he gave Pam a look.

"This isn't gonna happen," she insisted.

It took a few more minutes and Jim had to switch from VH1 to a CD of some classic oldies, but he finally did get her to dance. Eventually they even wound up belting out the words to an old Beatles song, both way off-key, before simultaneously collapsing in a fit of giggles.

"You know you're right," he said. "Your dorky dance moves are definitely not cool."

Pam whacked him with a pillow.

-----

"I mean, how does he even know that? He's never gone longer than three days without talking to his brothers, he's always just been following them around. Always." Pam paced back and forth across his living room an hour or so later.

"Well, maybe being alone for awhile will help him with that." Jim posited, wondering how in the world he'd wound up defending Roy.

"And another thing, what is so wrong with me wanting to keep my art supplies? I loved art in high school! I could still start sketching again someday. It's not like I don't let him keep his stupid football trophies! Those things have been in our bedroom for like seven years now!"

It was nearing three in the morning and Pam was still talking. Jim's eyelids were getting heavier, but he wasn't about to suggest that Pam leave. He'd stay awake all night if it meant being with her.

-----

Pam knew she needed to get off the couch. Her sugar rush had finally come to an end and was turning into more of a sugar coma. Jim had been asleep for the last hour or so, but his arm was still wrapped around her shoulders. His head was tilted back and his mouth was hanging open a little bit. There was no way that was a comfortable position.

She was staring at the TV out of habit. The movie she'd been watching had ended, but the remote was still in her hand even after she'd turned everything off.

She couldn't think anymore. It was like all of the night's emotions had been washed away, leaving her empty and blissfully numb.

She turned to look at Jim again. He looked so innocent when he was asleep. Boyish and sweet. She'd never really noticed that quality in his face while he was at work. He was nice to her, of course, but he was nice to everyone. Well, everyone except Dwight...and Michael sometimes, but that was understandable.

She carefully pulled herself out from under Jim's arm to kneel next to him on the couch and get a better look at the face she had thought she already knew so well. Without thinking, she started to trace the outline of his features with her fingertips. Not quite touching his eyes and then his nose and then his lips, daring herself to get closer without actually touching him.

What was she doing here? It was the middle of the night and she was kneeling on Jim's couch watching his eyes move rapidly back and forth underneath his eyelids. This wasn't real, was it? Nothing about this night seemed real. Maybe she was already asleep on the couch and this moment now was just a dream.

She got up and turned out the light, then carefully prodded Jim into lying down on his couch. It was too late to go home, especially without a car, but Jim's bed was probably comfy. She hoped he wouldn't mind.

She gave him one last look in the dark before turning to go up the stairs.

The stairs were too far away.

Soft. Warm. Stuck. She felt like she was sinking in a warm, cottony-plush ocean. The rising and falling of her chest mimicked the motion of the waves. Her eyes were still closed, but she wasn't dreaming anymore. Behind her closed eyelids she could tell that the sun was beginning to fill her bedroom. No...not her bedroom...Jim's bedroom...no Jim's living room...Jim.

Her eyes flew open and instantly focused on the few strands of his chest hair that were poking out of the neckline of his T-shirt just centimeters away from her nose. Her whole body stiffened. She shouldn't be here. How had she ended up like this, curled into his body on the couch? She couldn't really remember anything after the movie ended, but here she was.

He was laying on his left side, and she was surprised that he hadn't fallen off the couch in the middle of the night. His right arm was wrapped around her and then in between her back and the couch cushion, cradling her close to him. His left arm jutted out underneath him and then bent at the elbow so that he was holding his own head with his left hand, and her head was lying against his bent arm like it was a pillow. Her own arms were spread around him too. One folded up against his chest, the other draped across his waist. His legs were tangled up in hers and she couldn't really tell where his cargo pants ended and her borrowed sweats began. But as close as they were, it wasn't uncomfortable. Far from it, in fact. In all the years she'd spent with Roy she couldn't ever remember waking up this close to him. It was surprising to find that she liked it so much. But she couldn't think about that now.

She relaxed a little again so as not to wake Jim. The trick would be to get out of this position without disturbing Jim. Because she really shouldn't be here. As comfortable as it was, and it was very, very comfortable she could only imagine the assumptions he might make if he woke up and found her here.

Maybe if she could just shift slowly. Very, very slowly. So slowly she wouldn't even have to move right away. She was still so tired. Maybe she could just lie here quietly for a little bit longer.

-----

She woke for the second time an hour or so later. Jim was still asleep. His arm now wrapped even more tightly around her. She knew it was time to move. Any minute now Jim would wake up and then there would be questions and he would want explanations and she didn't have anything to say for herself. There was no logical reason for the fact that she'd ended up like this.

But knowing that she needed to get up didn't make it any easier.

There was something so protective in the feel of his arm across her back. His scent was all around her. So familiar and yet so overwhelmingly new and different. He was so different from Roy. She had always known that, but last night it had hit her again and again as the hours passed that Jim was just different. She knew it wasn't right to compare them, but she couldn't help it. She'd spent so many years thinking that Roy was everything. That his shortcomings were just natural because he was a guy and all guys were like that sometimes.

Being with Jim had taught her otherwise. At work he was always, always there for her. Anything she needed he was there, getting it for her. And last night had proved that he could do that outside work too.

And he had been her best friend for ages. She knew Roy was supposed to be that, but she had long ago accepted the idea that while Roy was fantastic in some ways, there were certain things he would never quite get. That was just the way he was, and there was no sense in trying to change that. But with Jim there was nothing she would change. He was already everything she wanted.

But could she really be with him? Like this?

She wasn't blind. She knew he liked her. She'd seen the way he looked at her every now and then when he thought she wasn't paying attention. It had never really seemed like a big deal before now. So he had a thing for her, so what? It obviously hadn't been keeping him from dating other people, and she knew he would never do anything to hurt her or interfere in her relationship with Roy. He was too sweet to do anything like that.

But what if...

For a few seconds longer she let her mind wander. Exploring all the possibilities that now faced her. For the first time Roy was well and truly out of the picture and while it still stung to think of not having him in her life, perhaps something good could come out of this.

Then Jim stirred slightly.

Pam panicked for a second, and then carefully but quickly began moving herself out from underneath him.

She made it off the couch without waking him, but didn't know what to do next. For a moment she just stood there, watching him sleep. Her mind still overcome with thoughts of him. Then figuring she might as well let him sleep she turned to walk into the kitchen.

Maybe a cup of tea would help her to think more clearly. At the moment it was all she could do to keep herself from dreaming about a life in which she wouldn't have to get off the couch, wouldn't have to panic at his touch. A life so tantalizingly close.

-----

When he woke up he was still on the couch. It took him a second to remember why. Then with a start he realized that Pam was probably still there somewhere in his house. He checked his room first, hoping, though knowing that he shouldn't hope it, that she would be wrapped up in his sheets. Something he'd dreamed about more often than he cared to admit.

She wasn't; but the faint sound of a pot clanging in the kitchen let him know she was still around. He stopped in the bathroom to splash a little water on his face and collect himself before facing her again. Having her there alone with him last night had been amazing, but he knew this wouldn't happen again. In all likelihood she'd be making up with Roy in just a few hours. Their night together would be forgotten just as quickly as it had begun. And he'd go back to being her best friend. He'd have to pretend again that he was fine with that. The thought was bitter, but he couldn't let her see how much the pretending hurt. So instead he brushed his teeth and absently ran his fingers through his hair, trying to come up with something else to think about.

-----

"Morning," he drawled sleepily, padding barefooted into the kitchen.

"Good morning," she replied quietly, looking up from her chair near the window.

"How're you doing?" he asked. He came closer to sit with her and she turned to face him from across the small kitchen table.

"Fine. Better, actually. A lot better. Thanks for everything, Jim."

"You're welcome," he smiled. "Seriously, I'd do it again, any time."

"Well, maybe I should break up with my fiance more often," she mused.

"No, I meant--"

"I know what you meant," Pam interrupted.

"Okay. Well, do you want something to eat? I've got some--"

"Actually, I'm not really hungry," she said, giving him a look that he couldn't read.

"Oh. Well, let me just get my jacket so I can take you home then."

"Wait. That's not what I want either."

"Well then what do you want?" Jim asked. He laughed softly trying to get rid of the nervous tension of holding her gaze.

She smiled back, but she was still looking straight at him. "I want this, Jim."

And with that she was walking around the table and then suddenly she had bent down and then she was kissing him.

Jim responded automatically, pulling her closer to him and reaching up to run his thumb along her jaw, his hands in her hair. He knew he should stop, knew it was too soon to be doing this, but Pam wasn't showing any signs of hesitation and he just wanted this moment to go on forever, didn't want to think about what might happen when it ended.

Eventually Pam did pull back.

"Hey," she whispered a quiet smile reflecting in her eyes.

"Hey," he whispered back. "So what was that?"

"I just... I don't know. I mean, I can't explain it, I just... " she kept babbling as she backed up to lean against the table, the same way she did at his desk sometimes.

Jim couldn't speak. He held his breath, waiting for her to continue.

"It's over with Roy. This is... I mean, you, you are... I can't even compare it, but this is what I want. I know that now."

Still it took him a minute to speak. "Are you sure? I mean, you're okay? You really want to do this now? Because..."

"Jim, I'm fine! I swear. Now would you please just tell me you love me and get it over with?" she teased with feigned impatience, looking down into his eyes--straight into them.

"I do love you," he said sincerely.

"I know you do." Her voice was quiet, but so sure, like she had known it for ages and accepted it entirely. He wondered how long it had been obvious to her. And then he wondered how she could have known all along and not been freaked out by it. He wondered why she'd run to him last night.

 

Before he could think long enough to get lost in his thoughts she was kissing him again, and instead he found himself lost in the soft waves of her hair, the gentle slope of her shoulders, the feel of her tongue moving slowly in rhythm with his own while his fingernails traced faint patterns on the back of her neck.

"Pam..." he broke away, abruptly, and stood to face her, knowing he needed to settle a few more things before this went any further.

"What?"

"I think this is a little fast, don't you? I mean, I don't want this to just be some crazy rebound thing."

"It's not. Jim, I mean it, it's not. I think I've wanted this since the first day I met you, but I couldn't make myself realize it until right now."

He swallowed hard. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."

"Actually, I think I do."

"Yeah," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her again. She kissed him back eagerly until he pulled back again a minute later.

"Pam, seriously, we can't do this now," he said again. As much as he wanted to just keep kissing her forever, this wasn't the time. Not quite yet.

"I know," she admitted, her tone almost solemn. "You're right. Not right now."

"You have to go talk to Roy."

"I know," she repeated dully.

"But... soon, right?"

"Yeah. Really soon." she insisted. The way her face lit up with hope and sheer happiness was perhaps the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"We should probably get you home."

"Yeah. I guess that would be good," she conceded.

Maybe it was because she knew there was so much she'd have to face when she left or maybe it was that, like him, she just wanted to spend a little more time together, but in any case, Jim found that Pam was reluctant to leave his house.

So they spent another hour eating breakfast together. The quiet joyful calm in the air was interrupted only when every so often Pam caught him looking at her or he caught her looking at him. It took them a good half hour to realize that they no longer needed to look away when that happened.

-----

He dropped her off some time later, hating to let her go, but knowing it was for the best.

"I'll call you later," he said.

"I love you," she said at the same time.

He couldn't respond. He knew she'd implied that earlier, but hearing her say it like that was simply incredible.

"Sorry, I meant to say that sooner, like back at your house..." she trailed off, sounding embarrassed.

"No. Don't apologize. You never have to apologize for saying that."

"Okay, good. Because I think I might want to say it a lot," she said with a shy smile.

"I'd be okay with that." He smiled too, lacing his fingers through hers. "I might even say it back sometimes." He wanted so badly to kiss her again, but he knew that if he did it would only lead to more kissing and though normally he would've been more than okay with that, he knew it would probably be best to wait until they were some place other than Pam and Roy's former driveway.

"Okay," Pam said with a note of finality. She squeezed his hand tightly once more before letting go and reaching down to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"So, I'll talk to you soon," he repeated.

"Yeah. And thanks again for the party, it was amazing."

"Yeah, it really was," he reflected.

She just laughed a bit and got out of the car. Jim stayed to watch her walk up the pathway to her front door and let herself in. She turned back to wave at him. Then he drove home, thinking about everything that had happened since that knock on his door the night before, and everything that would soon be happening in his future.