“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“So I heard Holly Jolly Christmas this morning”

“Already?”

“And someone putting up lights.”

“Now you’re lying.”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“Because Christmas music, lights??”

“Two separate instances.”

“Ok, so you heard Christmas music this morning in your car and while listening Christmas music someone was putting up lights on their house?”

“Not exactly”

“Michael started already?”

“Over the weekend he went into the dollar store and saw holiday cd’s and white lights for 1 dollar.”

“So naturally he thought they were on sale and picked them up”

“The best part was when he was putting them up around his doorframe and fell off the ladder.”

“Oh no, was he hurt?”

“Oh Dwight broke his fall.”

“And Dwight is…”

“In the ER with a sprained wrist.”

“You remember last Christmas where you tried to help my dad with lights outside the house?”

“Those things were freaking hot!”

“My favorite part was when were all outside to see the final product only to have 2 sets not work?”

“It was definitely 12 Pains to Christmas that day.”

“You can’t wait to go back.”

“Well I guess as your fiancé I’m obligated.”

“You didn’t have to propose you know, and then you wouldn’t be obligated.”

“Oh you’re right, guess I will have to ask for the ring back.”

“Sorry mister, this is non exchangeable or re-fundable.”

“Non-exchangable?”

“Whatever. You can’t ask for it back.”

“So this means I’m doing holidays with the parents and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins.”

“Hey! I do Thanksgiving with your crazy family.”

“That you do. Maybe one year we should go to Hawaii or something.”

“Sure. And miss your Uncle Burt talk about his prostate surgery? I don’t think so. That’s too important to miss.”

“Haha. How about your sister and her boyfriend Sledge?”

“Good guy. And you make fun of him in the most loving way. My parents look forward to it again.”

“Well can’t disappoint the parents.”

“I love the holidays with you.”

“And I hate the holidays.”

“Such a liar…well I hate to cut you off but I have a painting to finish…”

“Such a slaker!”

“And you are playing Mario Brothers online aren’t you?”

“No I’m printing out purchases orders.”

“But Mario Brothers is minimized on the toolbar.”

“No comment.”

“Holly Jolly to Dwight and Michael when they return.”

“And Joy to the World to you too.”

“Talk tonight ok?”

“You know it.”

“Have a good day.”

“You too, miss you.”

“Miss you too… Bye.”

“Bye you.”

“You can come home now.”

“Hey, hey. Its only 4 more days.”

“Four more? I have it hours so it’s much longer then four.”

“And why did you do that?”

“To miss you less. I thought if I can get down to double digits I could make it.”

“Well it’s 96 hours so you are in the range.”

“But its wayyyy too close to 100.”

“Go to sleep, it will go away quicker.”

“That’s why my dad says about Santa coming.”

“Oh my god! You don’t know?”

“What?”

“Santa’s not real Jim. He’s a fictional character made up by Coke.”

“Then how does he get those presents under the tree for me every year? How did he know I wanted a bike when I was 10?”

“You’re parents are geniuses.”

“Damn and here I thought they were just ordinary.”

“Haha... So what kind of welcome back party does the office have planned for me?”

“Angela has been meeting with the party committee for 3 days now. The rumor is she’s letting ice cream cake and vanilla cake be offered at the same time.”

“Blasphemous!”

“I know. I guess Dwight was able to convince her.”

“That explains it”

“Oh and it’s a surprise so be surprised.”

“Guess this means I have to stand in front on a mirror for hours at a time practicing my surprise face.”

“Just think of the time when you walked in on Dwight and Angela doing it in the conference room.”

“Ok no that was my digested and nauseous face. That won’t work.”

“Well how about the time Kevin made all those M&M’s disappear?”

“No. Again disgusted, not surprised…in fact let’s not use work examples because they made me gag.”

“Sounds like this party is going to be a blast for you.”

“Oh my god you are so funny. Do you have a agent because I’m looking for a comedian for my book club and…”

“Ok, ok. I got it. How about….when you dad told you he was retiring?”

“That was more shock. I wasn’t really surprised.”

“Isn’t it the same thing?”

“No. Shock is like you’re going to go crazy, surprised is happy.”

“Ooook. How about when your mom told you she was renewing her wedding vows?”

“Jim, seriously. I knew about that for like 2 months. My sister spilled the beans on that one.”

“Wow. You don’t surprise easily.”

“Well you’re coming up with horrible examples.”

“Fine. Fine. Ok how about…”

“I’m waiting…”

“I bought us my parent’s house.”

“I hate my sister.”

“What happened?”

“She told me she was pregnant.”

“How horrible of her.”

“I told her I had news first and she goes and tells me she’s pregnant”

“With Sledge’s baby?”

“His name is Kevin and yes.”

“How far along is she?”

“Four months and she isn’t showing at all. I betcha she won’t pack on any pounds.”

“Ok well you usually don’t show until 5 months.”

“And you know this how?”

“I was in the baby section of Barnes and Noble a few months ago.”

“Why?”

“My friend from high school, his wife, she’s expecting soon.”
“Yeah so is everyone else on the planet.”

“Well I can arrange for a stork to come and deliver a boy in a few months.”

“He would have to look like his dad. I’m not going to have a alien baby.”

“Ohhhh that could be tough. I think they only have green skin and four eyed babies available.”

“I guess I can wait and see if a human baby comes along.”

“I’ll keep looking.”

“…I really wanted to tell her about the house.”

“Pam, it’s a house. It will always be there.”

“I know but she’s going to be all about baby, baby, baby. I won’t ever get to tell her.”

“She can help move us in. I think that will let her know.”

“She’s pregnant. She can’t help move us in.”

“Ok, first of all, she’s pregnant, not dead. And second of all they say you should continue all normal activity for as long as you can. She can’t do heavy lifting but she can carry a lamp.”

“You bought a baby book and reading it aren’t you?”

“For the alien baby that might be coming”

“Adorable.”

“So should I put a order in for say 3 years?”

“I don’t know, I think I could see a baby in 2.”

“Ok wow…Tell your sister. And congratulations from me.”

“Will do! Oh and Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Baby shower in 3 months at the house.”

“So Thanksgiving was a rousing success.”

“Yeah. Ate too much and got bruised everywhere from football.”

“Your own brothers really took you out huh?”

“Oh yeah. My uncle actually spared me a few times. I think that was because he packed on a few pounds this year and didn’t want to crush me.”

“I thought it was touch football?”

“It started that way but once my cousin’s team ran up the score, it changed from pansy to punishing in about 3 seconds. How were my mom and sister?”

“Great. We had hot chocolate, listened to Christmas music and knitted.”

“You did not knit.”

“No. We actually played X-box.”

“Ok you did not to do that either. My mom doesn’t even know how to work the remote.”

“Your mom is really good at that army game. She shot all of us in like 2 minutes. It was insane.”

“You are not talking about Marie Halpert.”

“There are some things parents don’t tell their children.”

“Uh-huh…what did you think of my mom’s pumpkin pie?”

“Good but what was with that whipped topping?”

“Yeah like brushing your teeth?”

“YES! I think Crest should develop a whipped topping that you can eat and clean your teeth.”

“Creative... did you show my sister your paintings?”

“Oh yeah. She took a few and told me she was going to show her boss.”

“Great.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to think all my work is the best. You can be critical.”

“Pam…”

“No I mean I know I’m good. I mean Pratt was great and awesome and I learned so much but there’s so much more I need to learn and do.”

“Ok.”

“I just don’t want you to think…”

“Look, I’m not a artist or art critic. I don’t know about line and shape and color and how it all fits together. All I know is that you draw these amazing things. You love what you do and I’m going to champion it every time because that’s what I do. I am your biggest supporter. I am the art critic that’s going to say A every time.”

“Thank you.”

“So do you wanna crash on the couch and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas?”

“Of course. It’s tradition.”

“Great.”

“Pam what are you doing?”

“I am trying to wrap your brother’s gift!”

“Well I don’t think you have enough wrapping paper.”

“No really? …Geez, thank you Mr. Obvious.”

“Ok then. I will let you and wrapping paper get back to your fight.”

“Wait!”

“No I’m not saying anything more…”

“Ok good. But you can wrap. So sit your butt down on the floor and wrap your present.”

“My present? Really?”

“Stop. You were there when I bought it.”

“Yes but you said nothing about wrapping it.”

“Get over it. It’s the holidays and I have way too much going on.”

“Because you won’t let me do anything.”

“I think that’s because when I ask for help you make a mess or are being flip.”

“That’s what you love about me.”

“Not right now. So stop talking and wrap.”

“Ok done.”

“That was 2 seconds.”

“I’m a professional”

“Ugh would you just…”

“I can leave.”

“No, no! I need you to wrap your parent’s presents while I get the cookies out of the oven.”

“Ohhh, are they sugar?”

“No talking!”

“Mrs Grinch much?”

(Minutes later)

“Ok all the presents are wrapped. Including one of your cousin’s and your parent’s.”

“Did you use the snowman wrapping paper?”

“Uhh…”

“Jim! The snowman was for my side of the family and the Christmas tree was for your side. Now I don’t know whose present is for who!”

“What about tags?”

“Did you use them?”

“Well not yet…but…”

“Really Jim. You just are not with it.”

“Well you didn’t tell me! You told me to wrap so I wrapped!”

“Ok, well again showing how you are NO help!”

“Hey, hey..why don’t we go outside for a walk or something?”

“It’s cold.”

“I think we have hats and coats in the closet to keep us warm.”

“All right. But just for a short time. I need to go to the grocery store and get back to Cindy about caroling and…”

“All right. I’ll set my watch for 30 minutes ok?”

“Ok.”

“Wow everyone has such beautiful decorations.”

“Pam, can you smell that?”

“What?”

“Snow.”

“I smell wood smoke.”

“That too but snow is coming.”

“The first snowfall is so pretty.”

“We are definitely going to make a snowman this year.”

“I love making snowman. We would give them names like Earl or Bozo. Sometimes we would make a family but the heads would fall off the kids so we used to call them “special”.”

“Aww you made special needs snowman. How caring of you Beesly.”


(Later that night)

“Jim Jim! It’s snowing!”

“I called it! Which means you owe me.”

“We didn’t make a bet.”

“No but I told you we were going to be making a snowman.”

“You are correct sir.”

“And because it’s our first everything in the house, I bought you a special something.”

“Wait you bought me a early present?”

“Yup.”

“Well open it.”

“…Aww Jim you used special wrapping paper…”

“Yeah well since you said the snowman was for your side of the family and Christmas tree was for my side all we had left was..”

“Hanukah Paper! I love it!”

“…Oh Jim this is awesome…”

“You like it?”

“Oh I more then like. It’s perfect.”

“I hope we can use it soon.”

“Our very own Snowman Kit with all the best things to make a perfect snowman.”

“And of course we will add our personal touches.”

“Can’t forget the coffee mug and cane”

“A cane? Our snowman is going to be elderly?”

“I was thinking Michael in 35 years.”

“Oh I really like you.”

“Are you having fun? I heard Kevin talking earlier.”

“Oh you mean Sledge? He actually showed me his scars from when he fell of the stage 2 months ago.”

“Awesome! Sorry I haven’t broken away. My mom wants to know all about the house and if Michael killed anyone yet.”

“She asks you everytime you see her?”

“Usually. I think its just a ploy for me to talk about work.”

“Ahhh….”

“Is that hot chocolate kid friendly?”

“It’s adult. Your dad’s the master.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him.”

“Hey! I was drinking that! Get your own sneakypants.”

“Well yours was right here and kitchen is sooo far away…”

“Well you’re sweet so I’ll let this one time go…”

“…So I was thinking…”

“About?”

“Our wedding.”

“We haven’t talked about it much.”

“Well we have been busy with so much and I was just thinking why do I want this big elaborate thing.”

“You don’t?”

“No I don’t. I planned that, in its own big way and I didn’t like it.”

“Well Roy wasn’t big on helping.”

“True. He wanted pizza as a dinner option.”

“Wow. A traditionalist right there.”

“Shut up…but really I think I want a small intimate ceremony. Outside if possible.”

“I like that.”

“You like everything I say.”

“No not always. There was that time you suggested we go to Ruby Tuesday for dinner and I told you I wanted to go to Olive Garden.”

“And we ended up at Cracker Barrel which we both hated…so yeah...”

“I think a small ceremony is nice. You know I just want to be married to you.”

“I know. I know we said next year.”

“We did and I think we should set a date.”

“Ummm…ok sure.”

“We can steal the thunder from your sister a little bit. You know baby and all.”

“Aww how nice of us.”

“Well she did spoil your news.”

“And you TOLD me to get over it.”

“Yes I did. Now you can return the favor.”

“You are horrible.”

“Part of the package, part of the package.”

“I’m marrying a 15 year old…ok, do you like spring time or early summer?”

“Spring”

“Rain season remember”

“And early summer could be 90 so lesser of two evils.”

“Ok so we are comparing seasons to evil…nice!”

“A figure of speech.”

“Got it. Ok I like spring.”

“Good.”

“Oh no!”

“What?”

“My hot chocolate is no longer warm. Guess I need to heat it up, do you mind?”

“Excuse me, I’m not a butler. What happened to you doing things for me…offering to get me a cup of hot chocolate?”

“Chivalry died when I proposed.”

“Good to note.”

“Now a date.”

“We need a calendar.”

“Ok let’s use my cellphone. Ok…weekend?”

“Yeah for travel. Saturday.”

“Ok, why not Sunday?”

“Church”

“But we aren’t getting married in a church.”

“Well people go to church on Sunday.”

“Who in your family goes to church?”

“My mother does, my grandma did.”

“Really? Never knew.”

“I did when I was little and now I don’t.”

“Ohhh…you’re going to hell Beesly.”

“Well if I’m going then you’re going.”
“Touché. Ok well there’s the 9th, 16th and 23rd.”

“This could be tough. I have my art class on the 9th and ballet class on the 16th and kickboxing on the 23rd. I guess I’m going to have to cancel one of them. Which one?? Which one??”

“Here, let’s pull the date out of a hat.”

“Seriously? Our wedding date will be decided by a piece of paper?”

“Unless you want our families to choose?”

“Umm,… where’s the Santa Hat?”

(A few minutes later)

“Mom, Dad Jim and I set a date.”

“Ohhh good for you both!... I hope its not fall, too cold.”

“No Carol it’s not fall.”

“Pam honey is it winter because you know your aunt Betty doesn’t walk well and well I would hate…”

“No dad it’s not winter…it’s…”

“Oh my god mom, Kevin just wrote the most amazing song and…”

“Lauren honey Pam and Jim are making a announcement…”

“Pam you better not be pregnant because really??”

“Ummm no….that’s not…”

“Jim, when are you two tying the knot??”

“Oh so you set a date. Great. Better not be April because the baby will be coming…”

“Ok listen Jim and I will be getting married on May 9th.”

“….ta-da”

“Jim, not the time…”

“Well someone say something…”

“Honey, that’s the date of the spring festival and your father is participating in the woodcarving contest, you knew about this for months…”

“Oh sorry but seriously a woodcarving contest? You can’t like do that another time? And no I don’t remember that mentioned at all”

“I’m sorry but they only do it once a year and your father has been working so hard to prepare.”

“Um…ok.”

“We didn’t realize. Pam let’s choose another date.”

“Jim, no. This is crazy. We can’t do winter, fall or April. That leaves May, June and July and we chose May.”

“Pam, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Yeah sis. I mean do another week in May or do July or something.”

“Ok so you want to drag a 3 month old in the dead of heat and sit there for hours and hours??”

“Pam it’s not going to be hours and hours?”

“Oh I’m seriously thinking about it. Dad really?”

“My hands are tied. I mean Daniel and I have been training for months.”

“What is this? A marathon?”

“You do sweat a lot.”

“Ok don’t need details. Jim, it’s fine, let’s chose another date…”

“Pam, Jim wait…”

“Oh my god. You all suck, really! Ugh I hate you all!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.I couldn’t keep my laughter in.”

“Good job Mr and Mrs Beesly. And you too Lauren.”

“Wait a second? You were in on this?”

“Of course”

“I don’t know if I should be relived or shooting you all.”

“The red would be in the spirit of Christmas.”

“Hush! Not in front of my parents Jim.”

“We are so excited for the both of you. May 9th sounds great.”

“Yeah Pam, the baby will be all dressed up! I’m so excited!”

“Thank you. Now can I have some of that awesome peppermint bark? I think I earned it.”

“Yes sure honey.”

“I hate you.”

“Hmmm I guess then I shouldn’t be giving you this then…”

“More presents?”

“Just one but I don’t know if I should give it to you since you hate me.”

“I love you.”

“Ok, so that’s 3 I hate you’s to 9 I love you’s for the week. Yup, I guess I can believe you.”

“Ohhh a small box, already like…oh Jim…oh my…I can’t…oh god I’m going to cry…”

“I saw it in a store a few months ago. I remember you telling me the story about how your grandmother had a heart locket and she kept pictures of her husband and your mother. And it protected her throughout her whole life. I thought maybe…”

“Yes...I always wanted one…she offered it to me but when she passed away I thought she should wear it for eternity so I gave it back…oh my this is sooo…”

“Umm, if you open it…”

“And there’s a picture of you. Wow.”

“I know you described hers to me so I don’t know if it’s the same kind but it…”

“No, I mean it’s amazing. The same color, the same weight and size…wow…”

“Good. I was afraid...”

“Will you put it on me?”

“Sure.”

“I can’t believe…you are so amazing…thank you…thank you…thank you..”

“Ohhhh and 3 thank you’s. I like this week.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I love you too, so much.”