Change is Good by Binxbaby
Summary:

This follows most of the episodes from a different standpoint, adding more Angst to already Angsty Pam and Jim love story. If that's even possible. Pam is obviously unhappy and she begins to see things different with each passing episode.


Categories: Jim and Pam, Past, Episode Related Characters: Ensemble, Jim/Pam
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Adult language
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Completed: No Word count: 40776 Read: 20627 Published: October 04, 2006 Updated: October 31, 2006

1. Chapter 1: Before the Cameras by Binxbaby

2. Chapter 2: The pilot by Binxbaby

3. Chapter 3: Diversity Day/Healthcare by Binxbaby

4. Chapter 4: The Alliance/Hot Girl by Binxbaby

5. Chapter 5:The Dundies by Binxbaby

6. Chapter 6:Sexual Harrassment/ The Fire by Binxbaby

7. Chapter 7: The Fight/The Client by Binxbaby

8. Chapter 8: Email Surveillance by Binxbaby

9. Chapter 9:The Christmas Party/The Booze Cruise by Binxbaby

10. Chapter 10:The Secret/The Carpet by Binxbaby

Chapter 1: Before the Cameras by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.Please review. It gives an author a reason to keep writing...lol. =-)

Pam was never one for dramatics. If anything, she led a simply boring predictable life. Work, go home to Roy, work, go home to Roy. On the weekends, she did have more variety. The kind that begged the question, what does Roy want to do this weekend? She didn’t consider herself that much of a pushover either, she had always spoke her mind, but after years of knowing Roy, he was just as stubborn, sometimes he would go days without speaking to her after an argument. Which leads to the third thing evident about Pam, she hated confrontation. It messed up that secure predictability she had, anger and rage spawn confusion and send things spinning out of control.  She couldn’t handle that. She’d rather just…let that stuff go and be happy.  Keep Roy talking to her because if he wasn’t, who would? So she just kept quiet sometimes when Roy would start. Just because….

 

She had worked…no…slaved at Dunder Mifflin for too long. Most days she contemplated if Michael would notice how miserable she was if she slit her own wrists with copier paper, but he probably would ask her not to bleed on his messages.  Hate was not the word she felt for her job, no…contempt. Contempt that this was her life, this was what she had resolved she would always do and she felt it was strangling her.

 

Most mornings, when she wasn’t contemplating suicide by paper product, she was thinking murder by telephone cord. Between Michael’s outrageous outbursts and insane demands, she never got anything done because he was always dragging them to the conference room to diffuse a hostile situation HE created.

 

It had to stop.

 

The only saving grace for her was in the form of a lanky goofy paper salesman who sat across from her, his eyes blinking rapidly as his head descended further and further until it hit his desk in a hard thud.

 

Pam snorted and hit the enter button of his keyboard. She faintly hear the sound from where she sat. Ding.  A sound that became almost like a beacon of hope for them both on days like this.

 

He barely lifted his head but somehow managed to hit his own enter button. She watched as his eyes scanned the message from under his unruly hair and he snorted loudly and sat up with a bright smile. She needed that smile more than she needed coffee to keep her awake here and after a raised eyebrow, she turned back to her mundane task of organizing Michael’s filing system.

 

She liked that she only she could rescue Jim from impending death by boredom; it was an honor to her. They deemed themselves a tag team of misery, Dunder Mifflin slaves until they cut off the lights in this office, leaving behind Jim and Pam’s skeletons at their desks.  Jim found ways to make that bleak future seem okay, constantly scheming on ways to make Dwight suffer.

 

“I don’t want to kill him…” Jim replied one day during lunch, “That would be too easy.”

 

Pam used to think Jim really hated Dwight but he didn’t. Jim had showed many instances where he had a soft spot for the over bearing oaf. No, Jim just liked to torture Dwight because Dwight inspired him to. She truly believed Dwight deserved his supplies encased in Jell-O, put into a vending machine and moved into the bathroom. He needed someone to smack him out of his insane dedication to Michael and Dunder Mifflin, his greedy need for inane power. That person was Jim.

 

Most might find his methods cruel and unusual but Pam totally got Jim. She understood his need to create some sort of life in the office, for fear that if  all he did all day was sell paper, he was a dead man. His soulful eyes and bright grin mixed well with his dry humor and free spirit. She sometimes wondered what it was like to be Jim, to have everyone love you and to try to not take things so seriously.

 

Considering him her best friend was an honor. Sure they didn’t talk much outside the office, which she understood, but she desperately wanted to know what he did when he did leave, what he was like. She was knew he had a roommate, Mark, a brother and sister, and his parents were “awesomely normal”, as he put it. It was only when he got to work did he feel like a zombie, and resorted to bad thoughts. She understood. Oh boy did she.

 

Sitting at her desk day after day, willing the stapler to come alive and attack her just to know she wasn’t trapped in a nightmare. She voiced this to Jim, wondering if he would make fun of her like Roy did when she complained about her job. Jim just nodded in kind. “I’m still trying to figure out what I did in my past life to deserve this.”

 

He could always make her smile, no matter what her mood, and she began to appreciate him more and more. Slowly she started looking forward to being at work, if not just because she was going to see Jim. Now someone with a fiancé shouldn’t feel that way, but she did, Jim offered her something no one else in her life offered her…an escape. A chance to be silly, a chance to talk…there was so many little things in her head that need release but Roy would be annoyed, she didn’t want to burden her mother, and she didn’t have many close friends.

 

Those were things she shared with Jim, the lanky paper salesman who was at his desk, probably pondering on which personal article of Dwight’s to submerge in Jell-O.

 

She looked up from her files to see Kevin leering at her again over her desk.  He did that periodically, so much in fact, she stopped being effected by it.  Jim would laugh and say “Kevin’s like a pathetically horny Chihuahua, he’s content with just humping your leg.” Pam had to agree.

 

 Kevin only lingered for a second, as Michael came out and beckoned everyone to the conference room. Oh god. 

“Why?” Angela’s voice resounded, and no one else moved either.

 

Michael frowned. “Because Angela, I want to surprise you guys with a bit of information.”

 

“Oh my god, are we being downsized?” Meredith shrieked.

 

“Uh no…no. But good guess though!”

 

“Michael seriously, what is it because we have work to do.” Oscar replied.

 

Michael hunched his shoulders and Pam figured he might realize in this very moment that no one wanted to go in the conference room. EVER. And no one cared what he had to say. He would realize he’s a distraction, and no work ever gets done because of his interruptions. He would realize a lot about himself and try to change.

Not.even.close. 

 

“Conference room. NOW.” He said sternly.

 

Everyone grumbled and moved as slow as possible to the conference room. She shot a look at Jim who just shrugged and lifted himself out the seat. She guessed she should go too. She reprogrammed the phones and dragged herself in there. Finding a seat next to Jim, he gave her a wry smile and she groaned loudly.

 

 Sock Puppets Michael? Come on…really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Cameras were going to be following them, Michael announced in the meeting.

 

 “Supposedly a documentary on the exciting swinging life of a northeastern regional paper salesman needs to be documented,” Jim quipped.

 

They munched on sandwiches in the break room and Pam watched Jim pick apart his sandwich.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“We ran out of ham, and I had to use turkey instead. I don’t like change. It’s just too much.” Jim replied, tossing the sandwich down.

 

Pam chuckled. He lived for his ham and cheese lunch sandwich. It was almost comical that man so full of life and humor can be stuck in a rut of eating the same lunch everyday. She watched him stand and go to the machine to get a grape soda.

 

“Are you nervous, about the cameras?” She asked.

 

“No why?”

 

“They will all up in your face. EXTREME CLOSE-UP!! WHAAAA!” She made a face and Jim clutched his sides, laughing.

  

“Niccccccccceeee, Beesley. Great use of Wayne’s World quotage.” He sat back down and they toasted their open soda cans. “But really no. I’m not nervous. The most they could get from staring at me is a.)how extremely good looking I am-“

 

“-Conceited.”

 

“Totally. And b.) how much my career counselor in school failed me. Why? You nervous?”

 

Pam shook her head. “No. I’m actually quite excited. Something different. I’m starting to want that lately.”

 

“What you mean like sausage instead of pepperoni on your pizza different?”

 

“Like Turkey and cheese different.” She replied, casting a look at Jim.

 

As expected he smiled warmly at her and took a sip from his can. “Well, I think we should go all Survivor and vote Dwight off the island.”

 

Pam was giggling again. Jim made her do that a lot. “He can take Michael’s sock puppets with him.”

 

“I’m kinda fond of the sock puppets.”

 

“You are so weird, it’s almost scary.”

 

Jim just nodded and stood to go back to his desk. “Finish eating your lunch Beesly. From this point on, everything will change.”

 

Pam responded in kind as he walked out the break room.

 

She hoped it would…she was ready for change.

Chapter 2: The pilot by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

This chapter contains alot of the episode's lines. Again...no copyright infringement intended or desired. NBC coined alot of this chapter, I just added my bits!

Pam shuffled in, eyes bleary from falling asleep on the couch watching television. She woke herself up; Roy obviously had walked right past her sleeping and went to bed. She eventually woke herself up and drudged to bed. Today the cameras were coming as Michael stated. Part of her was excited, the other part was nervous. She didn’t know how the camera would portray her. Would she be the bitchy receptionist, or the cute girl next door? Hmmm…

She walked in to a blonde woman smiling at her.

“Hi you must be Pam.”

The woman extended her hand and Pam cautiously took it. She scanned the room to see two camera men, a boom and from what she can tell an assistant and a producer. She noted the same look of despair on the assistant’s face. Servitude is a bitch isn’t it?

“Let’s get you a fitted for a mic, and don’t be nervous, I want you to act normal.”

“Am I allowed to look in the camera?” Pam asked as the assistant began taping a mic to her.

“Yeah, sometimes, but I would rather you didn’t make it a habit. I’m still trying to get that across to Michael.”

Pam chuckled and nodded, as she walked back to her desk and noted Jim was in the office with Michael. She paddled around a bit, checking voicemails and jotting down messaged, trying her damnedest not to look at the camera. She felt nude almost, as if the camera could see right through her and she was trying her best to be as normal as possible, which meant boring, which meant the camera wouldn’t find her interesting enough to focus on. Until…Michael emerged from his office and she knew it wasn’t going to be good.

“I've, uh, been at Dunder Mifflin for 12 years, the last four as regional manager.  Ah, if you want to come through here,” he stood in his doorway, “We have the entire floor, so this is my kingdom, as far as the eye can see. Ah, this is our receptionist Pam-“Oh god no. She became flustered as the camera whipped around to her.  

“PAM.” Michael began beating on her desk. Please stop.  “PAM! PAM! Pam Beasley.  Ah, Pam has been with us for, um, forever. Right Pam? “

She didn’t know what to say she wasn’t ready for the cameras on her. Damn you Michael.

“Well, I don't know.” 

“If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago…” Michael growled at her and Pam swore that whoever put her desk up that high knew the secretary could jump that high to kill her boss on the other side.

“What?”

Thankfully he changed the subject, leaning on her desk. “Ah, any messages?”

“Um, yeah, just a fax.” She handed him the paper, and her eyes tried to stay on him, even though the camera was probably zooming in on every flaw in her skin right now.

“Oh, okay this is from corporate...” Michael replied his eyes glancing down at the paper.

“I know I...”

“...how many times have I told you that there's a special filing cabinet for things from corporate?” Okay, he was confusing her. What on earth is he talking about?

“You haven't told me...”

“It's called the waste paper basket!” he exclaimed, crumbling the paper in his hands and tossing the ball over Pam’s shoulder. She turned red and glanced nervously at the camera. She was working with a maniac. “Look at that!  Gah, ohh, look at that face!”

Pam shook her head slightly; she worked with a circus freak.Michael later retreated back to his cage-oops office, much to the relief of Pam. She glanced up to see what Jim thought of all of this. They could communicate without words sometimes. One look and she knew what Jim thought. But Jim was too busy staring at Dwight being the oddball he was, and she could tell by the way he narrowed his eyes, a plan was in motion. It made her almost jump with anticipation, but then she wondered if they should embarrass him on camera like that.

A few minutes later she walked by the conference room, where Jim was giving what they called a “talking head”, individual interviews to discuss how you feel or what you think. The camera crew was chuckling lightly, obviously Jim had won them over with his humor too and she stopped to listen to him.

“-My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone about, uh, quantities and uh, type of copier paper. You know, uh, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh, pay for it and, um… I'm boring myself just talking about this.”She covered her mouth from bursting out laughing and walked over to the fact, this was only the beginning of the day and she had so much more to deal with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim always came to her desk and she was glad he wasn’t hamming it up for the cameras by being a responsible worker. He leaned his tall frame over the counter as she teased him about attending Angela’s cat party on Sunday.

“Yeah, stop. That is ridiculous. “ He simply stated and Pam could barely hold her giggles and it resulted in her getting the hiccups. 

“No really are you? I heard it was going to be yarns of fun!”

“Oh my god, I can not stand here and let you continue this.” He pushed off the counter smiling brightly and Pam nearly choked to death laughing.

She composed herself long enough to deal with the temporary Michael had requested, finding it odd that in the midst of downsizing, he would hire temp.

Regardless, he seemed nice enough and she worried for him as Michael came out and assaulted him with his humour. They asked Pam to come and do a talking head, and she was nervous at first, until they asked her was she afraid of losing her job.  After contemplating it, she decided no, it would probably be the best thing ever. Except she wouldn’t see Jim is all, maybe they can still call and email, meet at Dunkin Donuts on the weekend…

“I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then, I might...I just, I don't think its many little girls' dream to be a receptionist. What do I like to do?  Um, I like to do illustrations. My favorite? Gosh…Um, mostly watercolor. A few oil pencil, um, Jim thinks they're good. He’s always saying I should do it professionally…”

He did encourage her in that, it was better than her sitting here day after day, dying a little inside, saying “Dunder Mifflin this is Pam.”

Until she wanted to chuck the phone across the room. Michael had ventured back out to her desk requesting messages and then gave an impromptu rendition of the 6 million dollar man. Pam wanted vomit, especially when he got all serious for the camera. A talking head later, Pam was sitting there, smiling as the AD alerted her that Jim mentioned her favorite yogurt snack. She did eat a lot of yogurt and Jim would just look over and make a face. It was so funny.

“Jim said mixed berries? Oh, wow, yeah, he's on to me, um…”

Jim always noticed small things like that. He made a remark that all her shirts were pinstriped and she challenged him, saying she had a variety of shirts. Sure enough when she got home and yanked open her closet door, she was assaulted by pinstripes.

Pam was starting to like the cameras now, it didn’t bother her as much as she thought, and at least they didn’t follow her to the bathroom. She laughed audibly when Dwight pulled out his stapler encased in jell-o and Jim just chuckled, eating a jell-o cup…

“How do you know it was me?” he said nonchalantly and Pam was just mesmerized by the way he could control his hysterics in Dwight’s face. He was so calm and took another bit of jell-o while Pam couldn’t stop laughing, her cheeks almost burned.

Later Roy came in and Pam‘s face lit up slightly. He approached her desk and asked her was she ready to leave; she could tell he was in one of his mood. Jim stood in front of her, and she noticed he became awkward and the tension filled his face that was not there a minute ago. She didn’t think anything of it and asked Roy could they go with Jim and the others. Jim had invited her out with the office people, something she would decline normally, but tonight she felt feisty and with the cameras there, she wanted to tag along. He muttered about needing to leave and Pam decided it was not time to be confrontation, even if she wanted to go. Jim shot her a strained grin and Pam stuttered over her words and went to finish her faxes, because this was her life. Go to work, go home to Roy. No need for change. 

 

Chapter 3: Diversity Day/Healthcare by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

Again, This contains lines from actual episodes. No copyright infringement intended or desired. Thank you NBC.

Please review.

 

Today was going to be a bad day. She hadn't even cut on the phones yet and she knew, just from the way Michael kept staring into the conference room as Mr. Brown set up the diversity meeting. He had a mischievous gleam in his eye and when he walked back towards his office, he gave her a weird smile, and Pam shook her head as if to say, please don't. Just don't. He probably would ignore her warning.

The cameras were here now, and Michael, who had always been...different, seem to up the anti with the cameras there. Pam just prayed that they had a good editing team that didn't want the Scranton branch to look like idiots. Probably not.

Someone had found Michael offensive enough to call corporate, which was why MR. Brown was here. Apparently Michael believed he did a good impression of Chris Rock, which he was disastrously wrong about.  When Jan called him about it, Pam had listened in, as was her secretarial duty to do, and Michael was livid.

"It was just an impression! I love Chris Rock? Who doesn't like Chris Rock?"

Jan's voice boomed out of the speakerphone. "Apparently someone doesn't, Michael. And Chris Rock's material isn't conducive to the workplace. It was inappropriate and now we have to send someone-"

"Stanley didn't have to rat me out." Michael had replied into the phone.

A long pause was on Jan's end, and Pam could picture her rubbing her temples in frustration. "Michael, I can't say who reported it."

"I know it was Stanley."

Again Jan paused. Pam bit her tongue and looked down at her hands.

"Michael-" Jan began again.

"I just wish he's come to me, ya know? I have an open door policy here in Scranton."

God, this was too hilarious to believe.

"It wasn't Stanley Michael. Stanley didn't report you."

"Oscar?"

Jan's voice was steady. "No."

Pam watched the camera pan to Michael. She knew who did it and she was glad they did. When Jim told her who did, Pam nearly fell out her chair.

"Meredith?"

"Yep."

"Whoa, go Meredith."

"I know. Apparently Michael not only offends races, but genders as well."

She sat back out at her desk, grossly involved in her FreeCell game to keep awake until summoned into the conference room. Roy had kept her up all night, his buddies were over watching the game and they didn't seem to understand how loud they were, so she didn't get to sleep until Roy let them out and passed out next to her at 3 am. She yawned and focused back on her screen, praying Michael wouldn't come over to her desk. The sound of paper shredding caught her attention and she turned to see Dwight shoving anything he could into his mini shredder at his desk.  He shoved paper after paper into it, and the sound was annoying, she couldn't concentrate on her game.

She looked at Jim, who was conducting a sales call, a look of distain on his face as he tried to ignore Dwight. But she could see his resolve cracking and she was very proud of him that he was doing his best to refrain from shoving Dwight's tie in there.

Look at Halpert, ever the professional, she smiled to herself. If it was her she would do her best to unplug the damned thi- oh smooth Halpert. He just did. Jim cradled the phone in between his shoulder and chin, and reached over and flicked off the powercell switch. Of course Dwight wouldn't let that go, and he in turn disconnected Jim's call.

Pam tried her best not to stare, but it was like watching a snake swallow a canary. Jim clenched his jaw and glared at Dwight. But she could see something else in his eye, something that made her blush a bit...he was plotting.  He lifted himself up and walked over to her desk, partaking of the jelly beans she keeps there. They are mostly for him, a bribe to come over and tell her his sinister thoughts and plans.  If it weren't for the jellies, she doubted Jim would ever come to talk to her.

Jim leans a bit over to see her screen, and he was so close, Pam was afraid to look at him. "Solitaire?"

"Yeah, Freecell."

He leaned in closer and pointed to her screen. For a minute, Pam was very aware of the sent of fresh spring soap, fresh laundry and a hint of light aftershave that filled her nose. Smells nice, she'd have to ask him what he used, and get Roy some. "Six on the seven."

"I know, I saw that." She clicked her mouse.

"So then, why didn't you do it?" he chuckled.

"I'm saving that, 'cause I like it when the cards go T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch." She couldn't believe she made the sound. Now he'd make fun of her for being so childish.  

Of course not. Not Jim. He simply smiled and shrugged. "Who doesn't love that?"

A few clicks later, Pam cleared her throat. "I thought for a minute you were going to kill Dwight."

"Naw, I'm too pretty to go to prison." Jim replied glancing over at his screen. "Besides, I have to get this sale today. That's my focus."

"Big sale?"

"Yeah."

"Good luck." Pam smiled as Jim pushed back off the counter and went to his seat.

Pam was settling back into a new game of FreeCell when Michael beckoned them into the conference room. Jim seemed annoyed, having just picked up the phone, but he settled in quietly as Mr. Brown began his presentation. Michael was in rare form, even frustrating a calm man like Mr. Brown. Pam rolled her eyes so much, she assumed the next time she did it,  they might just roll out her head. She wished Jim wasn't so preoccupied with his sale today, though she understood, she would have loved for him to sit with her and make fun of this whole thing. But he was rather jumpy and kept looking at his phone.

Once Michael had scared Mr. Brown away, he still wouldn't let anyone return to their desks. He wanted to do something to teach diversity and it almost made Pam want to gag on the irony of it all. So he had them pick cards and not read them before taping them to their foreheads. Pam didn't want to do this, she was way too tired and now very irritated as she stared hard at Dwight's card.  She wasn't in the mood to offend anyone but Michael.  Relief set in when Jim pushed through the crowd and focused on Dwight. Get ‘em, Tiger, Pam giggled to herself. Jim attached the sign to Dwight's forehead and Pam's sides hurt from holding back intense laughter.

As the day winded down, Pam sat in the back of the conference room, barely listening to Michael dredge on and on about diversity. Like he would know it if it bit him in the ass. She could feel herself blacking out and when Jim had come back from his desk, his face slightly fallen, Pam wanted to ask him what happened, but barely had the strength. He sat down next to her, and she could feel herself slowly falling, falling, her eyelids heavy from lack of sleep and sheer boredom.

She didn't know she had fallen asleep on Jim's shoulder. She just knew she felt comfortable and he didn't flinch or nudge her awake. No he let her sleep and he smelled like fresh spring soap, laundry and a light aftershave...the kind she wanted to buy Roy.

It was only when he whispered "Um...hey", did she wake up. Did she drool on him? Where was she? What time was it? Pam stood up and walked to her desk, still tired but a little more rested. She glanced over at the conference room, where Jim was about to give a talking head, a huge smile on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She had a theory. It might have seemed harsh, but she had enough evidence to believe, Michael was slightly retarded. He had to be to do this. To actually give Dwight power over their healthcare coverage. He originally dragged Jim in there to do it, but Jim declined, which now she was sure he was mentally kicking himself for doing. Anyone else but Dwight. The cameras were on Michael now, and Pam focused her energy on becoming "zen" and not wanting to throttle anyone today.


Dwight. Of all people. Honestly Jim.

Dwight had somehow convinced Michael into letting him convert the conference room into a "work space" and Pam shook her head in disgust. To allow that man to have any say in who her doctor will be made her cringe.  She shook it off and opened another game of FreeCell.

Dwight pounced out of the "workspace", and tossed a sheet of paper at Pam. She read it over. You can not be serious. Michael called her extension from the confines of his office, bunkered down as if he had to protect himself. He better, because this insurance doesn't cover being beaten down by co-workers. She looked over at Jim, who chewed at his pen top, his brow furrowed and staring at the paper handed to him.  He glanced up at her.

You coming? His eyes said.

Oh hell yeah, her eyes said back.

They both got up and Pam approached Jim. "Let me talk to him. You'll just get him all frazzled and he won't listen."

"I don't know if I can. Sometimes, he's begging me to say something mean to him."

"Just this once Halbert?"

He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, following Pam into the "workspace".

"Dwight, what-?" Pam started but she saw his face and felt the intense urge to throw a pie at it.

"Uh, knock, please. Please knock. This is an office," he muttered at them.

"It says ‘workspace'." Jim replied and Pam looked over at him.

You couldn't last two seconds, could ya Halpert?

He looked back. Nope.

Dwight frowned. "Same thing."

"If it's the same thing, then why did you write ‘workspace'?" Jim questioned and Pam let out a sigh. HE couldn't help, Dwight brought it out of him.

However she was enjoying Dwight's face turning red."Just knock, Please? As a sign of respect for your superior."

"You are NOT my superior." Jim snorted and by then Pam knew this could go on forever without them resolving the insurance issue. They bickered for another minute before Pam spoke up frustrated.

"Okay! Dwight. Are you really in charge of picking the health care plan?"

Dwight went on about how he did what was good for the company, eliminated anything extra, like vision, and preventative care. He claimed to have superior genetics and Pam had to bite back the statement that such superior genetics for a  north eastern mid regional paper salesman. But she didn't want to insult Jim since he sold paper too so she said nothing. They exited the "workspace" slightly defeated, but Jim had that look in his eye.

Pam knew exactly what to do and she couldn't help but smile thinking about it.

Michael had escaped after being cornered by everyone, and Pam sat irritated at her desk after Dwight demanded to know everyone's confidential diseases. So when Jim gave her a knowing smirk, she jotted down her own, wondering how confidential they could be.

When Dwight stomped out of the "workspace", flailing his arms about, Jim was standing calmly by Pam's desk. She still admired how calm he could  be when pranking Dwight when alls he wanted to do was laugh so loud it almost hurt to hold it in.

"Alright, who did this? I'm not mad. I just want to know who did it so I can punish them." He growled out and everyone stood staring at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Uh, someone forged, uh, medical information and that is a felony. " Dwight spat, holding up a stack of papers.

"Okay, whoa. 'Cause that is a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?"  

"Uh, leprosy? Flesh eating bacteria. Hot-dog fingers. Government-created killer nanorobot infection.."

Angela was turning blue trying to hold back her laughter and Stanley wiped tears from his eyes. Dwight continued his rant and Pam watched Jim work Dwight into a frenzy. She loved watching him do that. It gave much meaning to her day and sometimes she would go home and tell Roy what new thing Jim did to Dwight, but he would just nod and keep watching the game. Guess you had to see it to care. Dwight had stormed back into his "workspace" and Pam looked up to see Jim grinning at her, leaning on her counter.

"Killer nanorobots? "

She had impressed him. And that made her feel special.

She shrugged and gave her best innocent grin. "It's an epidemic."

Chapter 4: The Alliance/Hot Girl by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

I skipped "Basketball" because I want to get to Season Two as soon as possible.

Again, reviews welcome.

No copyright infringements intended or desired. This contains actual lines from the show. I'd like to credit TwizTV for the transcripts and NBC for writing them.

 

The office was buzzing with talk of downsizing. Most while a little frightened, seem to embrace it as a means of escape. If they were FORCED to leave, they would, and have to find new and exciting things to do. But to jump into the unknown like that, no they wouldn't. Sad that in order to release themselves from the Dunder Mifflin soul sucking machine, they would have to be cut lose. Pam didn't know how she felt about it either. On one hand to be cut loose would be a blessing. She could go back to school and finish. But Roy scoffed at her, he would lose his job too and they needed both incomes. He wouldn't make enough to support her in school and pay for the apartment. In away she understood what he meant, but she wanted to suggest maybe she could move back home with her parents and go to school. It would save money and since they hadn't set a date for the wedding yet...

No Roy would flip his lid if she said that. So she said nothing at all.

Dwight had been hounding Michael all morning about downsizing and in a way Pam was happy because that meant Michael was busy trying to escape Dwight's clutches rather than bother her. She sat doodling at her desk, sketching things she saw in the office like Jim or Dwight's bobble head doll.  Anything to pass the time. Dwight was hitting his desk nervously with his knee, causing the bobble heads to move which irritated Pam; she couldn't draw them if they were moving like that. She watched him eye the water cooler where Jim, Oscar, and Toby stood. Oh god....he's thinking. This is not good. Jim watch out!

Jim didn't return to his desk, he went to the men's room. Dwight launched out of his chair so fast, Pam could only watch frozen as he dragged the water cooler by his desk. He huffed and turned red as he pulled with his flabby arms, and sweat beaded his forehead. Ryan stared for a second, and Phyllis just shook her head and went back to work. It's as if they are all immuned to the insanity of it all now.

Jim came back out and did a double take of Dwight's desk, and then turned wide eyed to Pam. She looked back and shrugged.

Yep. Only God knows why he did that.

Jim sat down and started typing and Pam grinned at the soft ding from her computer.

Why does Dwight have the water cooler over here by him?

Pam heard the ding on his computer after she replied.

Maybe he wants to make sure Frodo doesn't get thirsty on his quest to Mordor.

Jim snorted loudly and Dwight snapped up and glared at them both. Just then Michael came out his office, veering towards Pam. She exhaled heavily, and braced herself for a stupid assignment.

"Pamela bamela."

"Yes?"

"Can I see you in my office?"

Pam grimaced and locked her computer and the phone, then followed Michael like a kid going to the dentist to get their teeth pulled. Except the latter was better. Michael was a puddle for the cameras and always tried to get them to see he was a caring man. Pam though he could be, if he wasn't so stupid. He wanted to have a party. For someone's birthday. There wasn't anyone having a birthday this month and Pam prayed that would be the end of that.

"Next person on the calendar is...??" he began drumming on the desk and Pam wished he was whacking himself in the face.

"Okay, umm...that would be Meredith." I'm so sorry Meredith.

Pam tried to talk him out of it, but Michael was adamant. He even called her a wet blanket and Pam stared blankly at him. Her retarded theory had more evidence. SO she exited his office and begrudgingly called up the Party Planning committee, Angela and Phyllis. Angela was like the Stalin of party planning, her unflinching rigidness for detail made Pam want to barf. Pam was silent until Phyllis brought up decorations and streamers.

Pam suggested green, her second favorite color next to pink. Angela scoffed.

"I think green is kind of whoreish."

Pam bit her tongue so hard she tasted blood. Michael had demanded an ice cream cake, which was stupid seeing as Meredith couldn't have diary. But he was selfish and they rolled their eyes at him when he left. When the planning was over, she did a talking head.

"This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin. But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her."

She walked back to her desk, only to be greeted by a bubbling Jim. He leaned over towards her. "I got good news."

"Please don't say you saved money on your car insurance."

"I would never rub that in your face.  That's just cruel. But no, really. Dwight wants to form an alliance with me."

Pam blinked. "An alliance?"

"Oh yeah."

The look of pure genius on Jim's face made her laugh. "What does that even mean?"

"I think it has something to do with Survivor, but I'm not sure. Um, I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, underground."

Pam's eyes watered while she choked back her laughter. Jim's deep laugh vibrated her ears and she felt light headed. She seemed to do that a lot, afraid that laughing out loud would be seen as something more...her having too much fun at work, her having too much fun with Jim, her and Jim...

Dwight popped out from behind some desk and glowered at the Pam. Pam sucked in a deep breath. "Jim! Hey. Hi, Pam. Listen, could I talk to you a second about the... paper products?"

Jim smiled at her knowingly and walked over to Dwight, Pam taking in his tall gangly form from behind, bringing a smile to her face. Jim could always make her laugh even in this dismal place.

Meredith's "birthday party" started and Pam helped Angela and Phyllis string up streamers. She looked down at the mint chocolate chip ice cream cake and cursed its existence, another Dunder Mifflin party that would totally suck. Pam shoved it into the icebox in the break room.  All day Jim had been pre-occupied with Dwight and his alliance, Pam decided she wanted to get in on the action, something to keep her awake.

She waited for awhile and then eyed Jim sitting at his desk, looking through papers. Hold on to your socks, Halpert.  She approached him and sighed heavily and whispered loudly. "Hey, Jim, can I talk to you for a second?"

In the corner of her eye she saw Dwight perk up, but try to act nonchalant, he was failing miserably.

Jim gave her his full attention. He always did that, even if they weren't pranking Dwight. He always stopped what he was doing and gave her his full attention. "Sure, what's up?"

Pam wrung her hands and looked down at them. "Um, I don't know, I'm just like, I'm going a little crazy 'cause I keep overhearing all these conversations between Michael and corporate about like, staff issues?"

He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Oh no? "

"Yeah, he's making me take notes on these meetings and I'm, like, "These people are my friends. But he's all like, ‘This is confidential. You can't tell anybody.' But I just feel like I want to...aaah. Just promise me you're not gonna say anything." She replied watching Jim's eyes twinkle a bit. He was proud and loving this.

"No, will not, I'm not going to tell anybody. This is between you and me," he replied, and Pam gave him a small smile as he lifted himself off the chair and followed her. They went out in the hall, barely controlling their giddiness. Jim let the door shut behind him and smiled so big, Pam could count his white teeth.

"Did I do good?" she asked, grinning up at him

He pointed at her. "You are awesome."

"Thanks. Better get back in there, before he comes out." Pam replied looking at the door. She noticed Jim wasn't looking at the door, he was staring at her.

"Yeah ok...again...good job." He said and bounced back in the office. Pam couldn't help but smile.

When she got back to her desk, Jim pumped a fist in the air and followed Dwight out the door. She had no idea what they were doing now but it was so intriguing, she must say this was one of Jim's masterpieces. If it wasn't for Jim she would probably die of boredom or Michael would slowly drive her insane. Michael came out and began calling them to the door, Angela was bringing back Meredith. Here comes the suck, Pam thought. She put on her party hat and walked over by Michael, and a pathetic surprise came out her mouth as Meredith entered. She casted the camera guy a look, be happy you are just visiting. Meredith had no idea what was going on but then again did anyone in here?

A slice of cake later and some very cheap fruit punch, Jim leaned on her counter stabbing apiece of cake.

"He's in a box?"

"Pam, he's in a box. He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor, near the shelves."

She almost choked on her cheap punch. She watched Jim look over her head, a look of triumph on his long face, a handsome face she would say. She wondered if he knew he was so attractive, the youthfulness he had when he smiled. She should set him up with one of her friends maybe...maybe....

"I'm serious. Go down there and work your magic." Jim gave her a wink and Pam grabbed her cell phone and bolted to the warehouse. Jim had given her his number a while back, in case..."like she needed a ride to work or something". She only used it a few times, one to call him about seeing a man pick his nose furiously at a stoplight and asking his opinion on what to paint in the park or something.

She pressed dial and waited to hear his voice. "Jimmmmmmm Halbert."

She stood next to a box that began to sway back and forth as she spoke into the phone and she could no longer speak without choking when it tilted and leaned over.  She ran out back upstairs to the party, her face red and ears burning from having the best day. Dwight in a box.  How great was that? This would go down in the history of pranking.

Later after Michael insulted Meredith, Pam sat at her desk clutching Jim's hand as he relayed his new plans for Dwight. Something about dying his hair and spying on the Stamford branch. Pam giggled wildly, she hadn't laughed this much in years and she felt Jim's hand on her shoulder as he leaned in her ear and hatched his devious new idea.

The front door opens and Roy's face flushed, but before Pam could even say hello he was storming towards Jim, angry.

"What the hell is this? What are you trying to cop a feel or something? Huh Halpert?"

Jim let go and stood tall, flustered, trying to explain things to Roy but Roy wasn't hearing it. Pam stood between them, trying to push Roy away. He grabbed her and dragged her out the building and into the parking lot before she could apologize to Jim for Roy's behavior.

Pam pushed off of him as the reached Roy's truck. "What is your problem?!"

"My problem? He was all over you, Pam! That's what the hell my problem is!"

"He was telling me a joke! And instead of you being a fucking Neanderthal, had you listened, nothing happened!"

"Get in the truck Pam." Roy growled out.

"You had no right!"

Roy's face softened. "I'm sorry baby...get in the truck."

Pam sucked in a breath and got in the passenger seat. Roy pulled out and she cast one sad look at the building, realizing the fun was over.

*******************************************************

Pam tilted her head to the side as the red head tapped her fingers against the counter. She had buzzed Michael several times, but he was in there chatting with the cameras. The redhead had come in here early that morning, her hair cascading in long curls down her back, makeup flawless, and a low cut shirt. Pam wanted to know if she was trying to sell purses or cleavage. Sure she wasn't as pretty as that, but she was pretty...right? She'd ask her where she got that shirt, maybe she could find something attractive like that.

Michael's voice grated like nails on chalkboard. " Pam!"

"Hey, there's-"

"Burger with cheese." He's not giving her his lunch order, please don't let him be giving her his lunch order.

"There's a person here- "

"And fries." Michael replied.

"There's a-" she continued.

"And shake. What? Go ahead."

"There's a person here who wants to sell handbags." Pam muttered and turned to go back to her desk. Michael slinked out and his eyes got that weird glazed over look he gets when he's too stupid to live. Pam hated that look.  Katy smiled at her and Pam admired her purse. She really wanted to ask about the shirt but she figured too obvious, so she inquired about her purse instead.

Katy smiled. "This one is hand-embroidered."

"Alright girls, break it up, you're being infiltrated. Cock in the hen house." Michael stated causing Pam to roll her eyes. She really wanted to smack him. He started ogling at Katy and Pam pushed her papers around her desk, especially when he insulted her by saying Katy was the new and improved version of her. She really wanted to staple something to his head when he encouraged Katy to sell her purses in the conference room, even if there were meetings scheduled.

Pam glanced at Jim who was engrossed in a game of Spider Solitaire probably and it made her feel a bit better he wasn't staring at Katy like a piece of meat like the other sexist pigs in here.  He had barely looked up at all. All the other men were dogs. Well everyone but Jim and Oscar, who probably wasn't staring because he was busy doing accounting. Oh and Stanley was in the men's room.  But Michael was drooling all over Katy, it made Pam sick.

 She was reading her email when Kevin came up behind her and snickered.

"So, are you jealous because there's another girl around?"

Pam frowned. What did she have to be jealous of? She was engaged. "No."

"She's prettier than you, though."

Pam's heart stopped. Why would he say something like that? Sure Katy was pretty in that video runway model way but Pam didn't think she was hideous or anything. She took a breath. "That's a very, rude thing to say, Kevin."

She assumed he walked away after because she fought back the tear coming to her eyes and wouldn't look at him. Why did it bother her if Kevin didn't think she was pretty? Kevin wasn't Roy. Pam busied herself with work as Michael harassed Katy relentlessly. Poor girl will never get to sell a purse with Michael in her face.

Pam looked back at Jim who glanced at her and smiled then went back to playing Minesweep. Roy told her he would eat lunch with her today and Pam was happy about that. They barely got to eat together because the warehouse schedule was crazy and Roy would go eat with Darryl. She grabbed her lunch bag and greeted him as he came in, a huge smile on her face.

She tried not to notice when he peeked into the conference room and saw Katy, and smirked, just like the other guys. Jim came and sat down beside her as they ate their lunch, he pulled out a ham and cheese sandwich and Pam stared down her salad.

Roy cleared his throat as Katy walked through the break room. "Hey, Jimmy, what do you think about that, uh, little purse girl, huh?"

Pam stabbed at a piece of lettuce and she swore for a moment, Jim looked at her.

"Cute, sure, yeah." He replied, biting into his sandwich.

"Why don't you get on that?"

She stabbed again. Stupid lettuce.

"She's not really my type." Jim mumbled.

Roy continued. "What are you, gay?"

Jim shook his head. "Umm...I don't think so, nope."

Pam couldn't help but smile at that.

"Well, what is your type?" Roy questioned.

Pam could feel Jim's eyes burn into the side of her face, and then he cleared his throat. "Moms, primarily. Yep. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom, really."

Pam held back a chuckle. Smart ass.

"That's disgusting." Roy quipped.

"Stay away from my mom." Kevin added.

Jim just shrugged and bit his sandwich. "Too late, Kev."

Pam giggled slightly but that ended when Katy walked back through. My god, can't she just sit down somewhere?  

Roy sighed. "Man, I would be all over that if I wasn't dating Pam."

The lettuce got stuck in her throat and her heart beat hard. Did he really just say dating? Had she not been engaged to him for 2 years and he was sitting here now talking of banging the purse girl. "We're not dating, we're engaged."

"Engaged," he took a sip of his drink. "Yeah."

Pam wanted to cry. No she wanted to scream. Not only did he embarrass her in front of Jim, but he's talking of banging another girl and he's not even sorry about it. She threw her fork down in disgust and walked back to her desk, ready to cry or kick something.

Later while on a call, Jim's long fingers disconnect her phone. "He-"

"Okay, shh. Stop," he replied, returning the phone to its cradle. "Whatever you're doing...Cause this is going to be good."

He maneuvered her chair towards the conference room and points to Dwight and Katy.

Jim snickered and started speaking in a shrieky voice, "Hi, my name's Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good Lord! Look at these purses...This is something special."

Pam snickered and looked at him as he continued. "Oh, my God. In this Salvatore de Chini...asta?"

Pam decided she needed a boast and joined in as Katy. "Oh...definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that."

They continued their voice overs of the Dwight and Katy purse purchase and Pam smiled her first real smile of the day. She didn't let it bother her when she went to look at the purses and Michael kicked her out. Or when Dwight kept walking past her with his man -purse. No. She wasn't going to let what Roy said earlier ruin her day. And Jim was making sure of it. She was looking over a file when Michael walked over to her desk, asking for messages. She gave him a confused look; he knew she had already given him his messages.

"Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Just checking, double-checking. Checking on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office. And... " Michael looked over at the camera.

Oh god, Pam thought.

"Yeah, of course. Um, Pam, one more thing. How do girls your age feel about futons?"

Pam froze. What? Futons. Why on earth would he unload such information on her? She had to share it, she had to tell Jim. Michael caught a glimpse of Katy and walked away and Pam walked over to Jim and slid up on his desk. She had to share this, she would be a fool not to.

He bit his lip and looked up at her. "A futon? He's a grown man."

"That's what he said."  

Jim shook his head. " That's sad. Or it's innovative. You know the futon in a bed and couch all rolled into one."

Pam was so caught up in laughing, she didn't see Roy come in. Jim's eyes darted and he became tense as Roy approached his desk. He was probably still nervous from the last time Roy came at him, but Pam assured Jim Roy was out of line. He still came near her and touched her, and she was okay with that. She knew he would never hurt her or disrespect her.

Roy looked sheepish as he asked. "What's up?"

Pam stopped laughing. She loved her fiancé but he could be sooo...so insensitive to her sometimes. Hell, most times. Roy wasn't a bad guy, not at all, but he could hurt her with his words so easily.  "Hi."

"Are you still mad at me?" He cooed. Pam swatted his hand away as he lifted his hands to her side and began to tickling her. She was very ticklish and squirmed in his grasp and he continued to ask her to forgive him. For an instance, she forgot Jim was still there, and she felt bad for sitting on his desk, letting Roy touch her. She went to do a talking head and the AD asked her something about, Jim's a good friend isn't he? Of course he was, Pam smiled. He was her best friend even.

"Jim's a great guy. He's like a brother to me. We're like best friends in the office and...I really hope he finds someone."

She would regret saying that after hearing Jim had plans this weekend with Katy. Watching Jim walk Katy out to his car, joking making her smile. She climbed into the passenger seat of Roy's truck and watched Jim help Katy in the car. She knew he needed someone, everyone needed someone. She had Roy, right? But a selfish way Pam realized, she didn't want Jim to make Katy laugh. That was something he did for her and she wanted it to be for her alone. She didn't want to share her friend. Not yet anyway.

Chapter 5:The Dundies by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

Same rules apply. Thanks NBC for the words, thanks Twiz TV for putting them ont he internet to use.

NO copyright infringement intended or desired.

Review Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeee? =-)~

 

She hated Michael. She hated him more than her period coming on when she's wearing white jeans. She hated him more than a hangnail. She hated him more than she hated her job...okay well not really. Today was the Dundies, a stupid awards ceremony that Michael threw every year, guaranteed to embarrass and humiliate you in every way known to man. Pam was going to call in sick, until Roy started complaining about how many sick days she has, and he flung the comforter off the bed. So now she sat here, shoulders hunched, as Jim leaned over the counter.

"So. You ready for the...the Dundies?" he asked, his eyebrow raised.

She twitched her face and wanted to groan out but all she could muster was, "Ungh..."

Earlier she had done a talking head, and they AD asked her describe the Dundies.

"Okay...the Dundies....well, you know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you."

She stood by that statement and she was about to plead with Jim to escape with her and run for the roof when Michael came over to the desk doing the worst Fat Albert impression he could. Jim just looked at him oddly and refused to play along, knowing Michael was acting especially irritating for the benefit of the cameras.

Michael wanted Jim to show his Dundies to the film crew and Pam thanked god he didn't ask her. She had tossed all of hers in the nearest trash receptacle as soon as she got them. She dreaded this day, well she dreaded everyday here really, but the Dundies were just a bitter reminded of why her life sucked. She worked for a crazy man who believed public humiliation was fun. She worked in the most dead end job ever. What was there to be happy about?  Michael had given her a box Dundie videos to watch, he wanted a highlight video. Pam refused at first but after hearing his whining she yanked the box from him and decided to just bunker down and do it.

She walked into the conference room and grabbed a cassette, shoving it into the VCR, hoping it would break and she wouldn't have to be tortured. No such luck. The image of her and Roy sitting at the table and Jim on the other side at another table, with Michael doing something obviously obnoxious in every way.

She felt the camera on her and turned, stating, "Michael has taped EVERY Dundies awards and now, he's making me look through hours of footage to find highlights. I hear they use this to get prisoners of war to talk..."

She frowned at the gross display of it all and she turned to look at Jim for support, and thank goodness he was turned and looking at her. He obviously was distracted by the stupid video and Pam made a strangling gesture, representing what she wanted to do to Michael.  Jim looked genuinely sorry for her.

She took a short break to go to the ladies' bathroom and she sat in the stall for a moment, fully clothes, wondering if she could dig her way out from in here. Sometimes she wondered if working here was so bad but hen Michael would do something irrational and wrong and she was even more convinced this place needed to be downsized. Michael....Michael...Michael.  She hated that she was in the bathroom thinking about how much she hated Michael. Pam looked down at her handbag and smirked.

Later after she emerged and walked into the break room for tea, Phyllis came out of the bathroom.

"Oh my god, did you read the stall in there?"

Pam shook her head. Phyllis giggled. "Oh my, someone wrote something about Michael!"

Kelly walked in and over heard and they all laughed heartily as Phyllis quoted the message. Dwight popped up, glaring at them demanding to know what they were chattering about. Pam just snarked back at him and skipped back to the conference room, to continue her torture.

She glanced over at Jim who gave her a thumbs up and popped in the next video. 

Michael was on. " The Dundie award for "Longest Engagement" goes to Pam Beesley."

She frowned as she watched Roy laugh and stand to accept the award. She had the same look on her face she had now, hurt and distain. She saw Jim had that face in the video as well. It was embarrassing and Michael felt the need to rub it in her face that Roy refused to set the date. And that is why she hated today, that is why she hated the Dundies.

She looked down at her wedding band and feels the need to rip it off as Roy plays along with Michael on the video. She didn't see Jim look at her, seeing how hurt she was.

She shut down the VCR and walked to her desk to take messages, when Dwight announced he was taking away the women's bathroom. Michael began fussing at Dwight and the soft ding on her computer alerted her that Jim sent her an email.

Guess you'll have to pee standing up.

She snorted and replied back.

The hell I will, I'm going in Dwight's coffee cup.

She looked over to see Jim grimace and she gave laughed quietly.  The phone began to ring and her brief moment of happiness fled. "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

The ding from the computer alerted her to a new message.

Are you still coming tonight? I know sometimes Michael is overbearing but maybe tonight will be your lucky night. =-)

Pam gave cocked her eye at Jim and typed back a response.

What makes you think I don't get lucky every night? ;) I do have a fiancé ya know. Michael always embarrasses me with that dumb award. Maybe I won't go and that will show him. Roy doesn't want to anyway. Phyllis can accept my award on my behalf.

She looked up to watch Jim read her response and instead of laughing at her crudeness, he looked a bit hurt by it. She wondered why but had no time to dwell on it, as he replied back.

No, you should go. Me thinks you might be pleasantly surprised this year.

Pam gave him a skeptical glance before turning back to her ringing phone. Maybe she should go. What could it hurt? Free dinner, a couple of drinks, and some fun with co-workers outside the confines of the Office?

Roy had complained the whole way in the car. He didn't want to go, it was obvious to her. His whining was giving her a headache and normally she would give in and they would drive home and park in front of the television. But tonight for some reason she was adamant about going, despite Roy's protests. She sat bunched between Darryl and Roy, and she noticed how incredibly small she felt. The only time he acknowledged she was even in the car was to whine, the rest of the time was spent discussing sports and crass jokes with Darryl.

She never hopped out of a truck so fast when they pulled into the Chili's parking lot. One more discussion of foul or illegal play would make her scream. Inside Angela, Oscar, Stanley and his wife sat at various tables. She scanned the room and her eyes twinkled when she say Jim gesturing animatedly with Ryan. The camera men were there too of course.

"Okay so my acceptance speech this year included all the little people that made this happen," she joked as she approached Jim. He turned to her, his smile a million megawatts.

"You made it! You can sit with us, we just ordered an awesome blossom-"

"Roy and Darryl are here." She replied, shifting her weight. She didn't know why that came out like she was unhappy with it. Of course she would sit with her fiancé.

Jim just nodded and she turned to see Roy and Darryl settle in a seat.

Michael was in rare form, a rap rendition and some embarrassing and slightly offensive impressions, Pam looked over to see Darryl suggest they leave. Roy agreed, and gathered his jacket and before Pam could say anything, they were heading towards the door. She gave Michael a pitiful look, and she didn't even want to look at Jim, who she could feel staring at her. She apologized and walked out after Roy, anger stirring her in.

Normally she would get in the truck. But not tonight. She didn't want to leave. She actually wanted to stay. What would happen if she went to Poor Richard's? They would drink and ignore her; they would laugh at inside jokes not privy to her. They would act as if she isn't there at all.

No she wanted to stay. She jogged up and grabbed Roy.

"I'm not going. I'm staying."

"What? Why? Get in the truck Pam."

"No I don't want to! Just because you want to leave doesn't mean I want to. All you'll do is get drunk and talk to Darryl and I'll have to drive you back home!"

Roy frowned and Darryl stood at the door. Pam didn't even see the cameras.

"What are you talking about?"

The anger lifted into her throat. "Because that's what happens every time!"

He shifted his weight, his face red. " What are you talking about? He's a jackass every year."

Pam shook her head. And Roy went to grab her arm.

"Come on, we're going to Poor Richard's."

She yanked it from him, resentment evident in her voice. "No, I don't want to go, I don't want to."

"Pam," he muttered as she successfully pulled away and got some distance between them. "Fine... Go. "

She stalked back towards the restaurant, livid. "If you would have asked me that, then you would know."

Roy was such a bastard sometimes. He was so selfish and so brutish. He didn't even ask if she wanted to leave, he never asks. And she realized at that moment, he never asked because she would always just go. Sure she might be moody but she would always follow. And tonight she didn't. She spoke up. She refused. Oh god...he would be angry when she got home. He'd probably not even come home, just stay at Darryl's. In a way she wanted to take it back, she wanted to run back out and apologize because she hated him being upset with her. But she pushed open the doors and walked over to sit near Jim.  

He looked surprised. "Hey! How are ya? I thought you left?"

She took off her jacket and slid in her seat. "Oh no, I just, I decided to stay."

She refused to meet his eyes; instead she just nodded her head as did he. "I'll just get a ride home from Angela."

"Oh." He said, turning to look at Angela over his shoulder.

She knew he could see the tension in her and she didn't want to answer any of his questions. Jim had a way of making her relationship with Roy feel so wrong and she just wasn't into that right now. She saw his beer and slid it over to her, watching Jim give her a look. But as it slid down her throat, she didn't care, she needed more.

She drank and drank, and found Michael funnier when she was plastered. She clapped and whistled, and she refused to acknowledge Jim's watchful eye. She had summoned the waitress for the second....no third time for a drink and the glasses sat in front of her like a fort. A fort blocking Jim's concerned glances.

He looked at her amused as she sucked harder on the straw.

"I think those might be empty."

She shook her head and laughed. "No, no. 'Cause the ice melts and then it's like second drink!"

"Second drink? " Jim parroted and then he laughed too. She needed to hear him laugh, because when Jim laughed, she could escape.

She probably already had her limit before she asked Stanley's wife was she going to finish that, but she wanted to get so plastered, any confrontation later would be a blur. She wanted to stumble in the house, past Roy if he was there and into bed. She clapped at the rest of the recipients, when things started to intensify in here. She could have the atmosphere intense here also; she had enough of that when she got home.

Jim just kept staring at her, and Pam knew she was blushing.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

 Before she could say anything, Michael called her name. "And this next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesley..."

Pam gulped hard and felt her face heat up. She forgot about the total embarrassment of her Dundie.

"It is the "Whitest Sneakers" award!"

Are you serious? YES! Pam couldn't shut her open jaw and pounced out her seat towards Michael. She was so happy, finally, something that didn't make her want to crawl under a rock and die. She grabbed her Dundie and the microphone and words began to spill out like a damn breaking.

"I have so many people to thank for this award..."

Jim was laughing and Pam had the giggle fits as she continued. "Okay, first off, my Keds. Because I couldn't have done it without them. Thank you. Let's give Michael a round of applause for MC-ing tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks. And also because of Dwight too...Um, so, finally, I want to thank God..." Thank God, I am sloshed.  "Because God gave me this Dundie. And, I feel God in this Chili's tonight. WHOOOOOOOO!!!! "

She pumped her award in the air and hugged Michael and then jogged back over to Jim who looked a bit amused at the whole scene. He pulled out her chair, ever the gentleman and without warning or even a second thought she hugged him. And he felt so warm as he enveloped her so safe, that when he pulled back she planted her lips on his. She swore for a minute he was surprised and stiff, but he melted as she pulled away and she was so giggly she didn't even care she had kissed Jim in front of the office and Chili's patrons.

She remembered sitting at the bar falling out of her chair as she stared at the profile of Jim's face while he gave a talking head. He looked so handsome, so young, and full of promise.  Roy was more round with dimples, and though she loved dimples, Jim had a smile that could light up a room. He was the anti-Roy. Tall and slender contrast to thick and stocky. He wouldn't have made her leave like Roy, either.  

She collapsed in a heap on the floor and just laughed, she was drunk and that was food. Jim was concerned and amused as he asked if she was okay and then Dwight tried to assault her and give her a peep show. Jim eventually lifted her off the ground and waved off the waitress, and as they exited Pam gave another "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She spotted the camera and thrusted her Dundie at it.

"This is the best DUNDIES, EVER!"

She stumbled and Jim was right there, holding her steady. She didn't hear the Manager say she wasn't allowed back in, she didn't care. She found herself sitting next to Jim, him talking gently to her to keep her awake and she could help but feel something. A flutter. For Jim? Her best friend. For a minute she could understand what that meant, she had felt it a few times before with him, but at this moment, it wasn't about Roy, it was about Jim.  She confessed she wrote the stuff about Michael in the bathroom to Jim. And as they waited for Angela, Pam really looked and him, looked at him good.

He walked her to Angela's passenger door, and she wanted to say something to him, as him could she go home with him instead, tired of fighting and being ignored. She knew it was impractical to run away with Jim, but she wanted to so badly and...and....

She looked and saw the cameras and frowned. No...she'd go home. And pass out, and hope Roy would forget what happened tonight. Because she wanted to forget. She wanted to forget she kissed Jim...and she liked it.

Chapter 6:Sexual Harrassment/ The Fire by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

This chapter contains actual lines from the Office episodes in the title. Thank you NBC and Twiz TV for providing them.

No copyright infringement intended or desired.

Review. I beg of you. =-)~

Pam had spent most of her weekend getting over the hangover banging in her head after the Dundies. Roy was there when she got home, cutting his eyes at her as she dropped her keys and coat unceremoniously on the floor and tumbled onto the bed. She assumed he took her shoes off because she woke up the next morning with her skirt hiked up, pantyhose cutting off her circulation and blouse wrinkled. Why he hadn't undressed her is beyond her, but he was still speaking to her that morning. That was the most important thing.

When she got to work that morning, she was happy to see Jim said nothing of the kiss. Wait, was she happy he didn't mention it at all, or was she happy he wasn't upset about it? She hated that she had this internal battle brewing in her, when she had a fiance' she loved for years and she was getting married....one day.

Ding.

Pam looked over at Jim, wondering what Dwight did now, but a twinge of disappointment hit her as she read it was just one of Michael's forwards. He had been sending forwards all morning and Pam was this close to blocking him. He was harassing Jim and Dwight now, and talking about Monkey sex...

Pam was going to roll her eyes but she zoomed in on a slightly balding man creeping up behind Michael. Oh god, is that? Todd Packer? Dammit. She hated Todd Packer more than she hated this place. With his extremely sexist attitude, sick perverted twisted humor and the way Michael stood there and let him say or do whatever he wanted. He pulled at Michael's jacket and said something completely despicable like:

"What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy!"

Jim rolls his eyes and Pam heard a soft ding.

Kill me b4 I kill him.

Hey Beesly, who had two thumbs and hates Todd Packer?? THIS GUY!

She couldn't even respond to poor Jim before Packer was right by him.

"What's up Halpert? Still queer?"

Michael seemed generally amused by the disrespect Packer showed Jim and Pam wanted nothing more than to staple stuff to his bald head. Jim just clenched his jaw and stared into the camera while Todd Packer did some crazy obscene gesture at him. Pam wondered if Packer went home every evening and ate his sad can of potted meat and crackers and wondered what cruel and nasty joke he could tell since he had no one in the world to love him.

Packer continued to tell one of his lewd jokes and Pam felt the need to wretch all over her desk. Michael kissed his ass more than Dwight kissed Michael's. She decided to tune him out after he mentioned something about banging a secretary.

She had no time for this, her mother was coming today. Roy had even washed his hair and finally put on that new sweater she bought him last year. She had a spiffy man waiting, her mom coming, and she had no time for the crap about to happen in here. She begged her mom not to meet her at work, maybe meet her at the cruddy gas station down the street that would be less embarrassing. But her mother insisted.

"I want to see what you do, Pam. Now hush up and tell me the directions."

Pam sat there and muddled over her faxes, with an occasional glance at the door. Earlier she told the AD during her talking head that her mother was visiting.

"Why am I so happy today? My mom is coming in to visit. Ah, she lives, like two hours away, and she doesn't have a cell phone. Which is cool, 'cause it's kind of adding some suspense to my day. And, I keep looking over at the door hoping she'll walk in."

She loved her mom. Next to Jim, her mom was her best friend. She was supportive and sweet, stern when necessary and Pam missed her tremendously. The move to Scranton hurt her, since she loved her moments with her mom, but it was just another thing on the list of things she had to give up.

Jim stood in the kitchen next to her, and she noted he was tall like a tree. A tree she could climb. Whoa...Pam, what is wrong with you today? "I really excited to meet your mom."

"You are?"

Pam nodded, munching on her chocolate bar. "I decided to show her around, she really want to meet everybody."

"Oh yeah?" Jim replied and she looked amused at him. He wanted to meet her mom. It was so sweet. She got that totally, because she wanted to meet his too. "Good. Cause I have a lot of questions."

"Oh really?"

Jim gave her a small smile. "Yeah. As a child, did Pam show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?"

She couldn't help but laugh, hopefully that smile would last all day.

She sat at her desk, looking at the door again when Michael came out.

"Everyone?" Michael said. Oh Jesus what now? "Hello, everyone. Hi, uh,sorry to interrupt, I know you're all busy and the last thing you want is for a major interruption. But Toby has an announcement that he insists on making right now in the middle of the day, so take it away."

Toby looked like he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Corporate would like us to do a five minute review of the company's sexual harassment policy, so I'll go over that later."

"I wish you luck Toby, I really do. But you are going to have a mutiny on your hands, and I just can't wait to see how you handle it."

Everyone stood still and stared. No one cared. Was it time to go home yet?

Toby did his presentation and Pam sat quietly through it. At least it wasn't Michael; the whole thing would be ridiculous. Jim said he was wondering if he could file sexual harassment charges on Dwight, seeing that Dwight made reference to his "gun show" all the time, and it made Jim feel cheap and tawdry. Pam had nearly spit out her soda at her desk when he said it. Now Toby was finishing up, and Pam wanted her mom here so that her day would be at least half way salvageable. Then she remembered...oh god, she's coming in here. And Michael's going to say something stupid, Kevin's going to leer at her mom, and Todd Packer might come back and try to grab her mom's ass. She raised her hand slowly.

"So remember, intent is irrelevant. And that's it...Pam?"

"Um, I just wanted to say, that, just, my mom is coming in today."

"Mmmmilf." Kevin replied and snickers. Pam rolled her eyes.

"Thanks Kevin. Anyway, she's coming in today and maybe just don't joke around about that stuff in front of her."

Toby nodded. "Great point."

Pam felt a bit of relief as Toby agreed with her, everyone should behave. She wouldn't want her mother to know she worked with a pack of rabid hyenas. Everyone was going back to their desks, when Michael came in carrying a blow up doll. Pam could only shake her head.

"Ah, no. I know, I know, it's good. It is not over; it is not over 'till it's over. Did he, ah, tell you everything? Obviously he didn't, because you all still look relatively happy. Albeit, bored. Do you realize what we're losing? Seriously?" Of course Michael was the only one fighting for the right to sexually harrass someone.

Pam put her head in her hands and Angela answered. "E-mail forwards."

They went back and forth which resulted in Michael saying a picture of Stanley's daughter was soft porn and how many co workers they banged or could have and all Pam wanted to do was kick something. Jim seemed oddly interested in the blow up doll and Pam wondered what he was thinking.

Suddenly Pam was yanked out of her thoughts by Michael's absurd statement.

"What if Pam...was a lesbian?"

What?! Michael continued. "What if she brought her ‘partner' into work? Would that be crossing the line?"

She watched Jim swivel around and stare at her, his face full of amusement. Only in your dirty little fantasies, Halpert.

Did he have fantasies about her?, she wondered.

Michael was on a roll. "What if they made out in front of everybody?"

Jim smiled wider. Pam wanted to die.

Toby shook his head. "Well that would be..."

Pam wished the ugly carpet would just swallow her alive. What next? Will her mom come in? To hear Michael accuse her of being a lesbian? Next thing she knew, Michael wanted her to come and french the blow up doll! Pam was mortified and Jim seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this. A wave of relief hit her when Michael Michael got distracted by something else and ended up watching Toby's video again with the warehouse guys. She sat at her desk wondering what she did to offend God and get this job. He gestured for Pam to come but Pam declined.

"Um, my mother's coming."

"That's what she sai-," Michael looked at the cameras and cleared his throat. "No, but, okay, well, suit yourself."

Ding. She should have known Jim Halpert wouldn't let the blow up doll thing go.

Your lesbian plastic girlfriend invaded my talking head.

She snorted and replied back.

The slut.

Ding.

You french your plastic lesbian lover with that mouth? Filthy.

Pam was a little disappointed when Jan walked in, she really hoped it was her mother. She was ready for this day to be over, or half way over, as Michael all ready ruined it. Jan had walked in just in time to hear Michael offend everyone, and she had a lawyer looking type with her. In a way Pam was glad, if Jan was here even for a little while, the office would be normal when her mom came.

Not so much. Todd Packer came back, Ryan muddling in behind him. Packer leaned against the counter, and Pam winced at the stench of corn chips and cheap cologne. "Don't ever let this little bitch drive you around town, we got lost for a half an hour."

She frowned. "I don't have any DUI's so I can drive myself, but thanks."

Jan obviously had gotten to Michael as he submerged defeated out of his office. He announced that sexual harassment would not be tolerated in the office, and Pam wondered if he knew that applied to him as well. Jim glanced over at her, and Pam noted that gleam again and she waited to see his genius in action.

"And, when we talk about things here, we must only discuss, ah, work associated things. And, uh, you can consider this my retirement from comedy." Michael stated. "In the future, if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression, I will no longer, ever, do any of those things. "

Jim shifted in his seat. "Does that include, ‘that's what she said'?"

"Umm...hmm, yes."

"Wow, that is really hard," Jim replied, swiveling in his chair. Pam covered her mouth. Jim was taunting him, dangling the proverbial carrot. "Do you really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling. So..."

Michael couldn't hold it in any longer. His perverted-ness wouldn't let him. "That's what she said!"

Jim gave a fist pump and Pam just chuckled to herself. Where would her day be without Jim? Jan seemed defeated in her attempt to control Michael's behavior and dragged him into his office. Bored, Pam started typing up some of Michael's notes when someone walked up behind her and surprised her.

"Um, hello."

"Oh my God!" She was so happy to see her mother, who looked good even for her age. She hugged her so tight she didn't want to let go.

"Finally made it." Her mom said, smiling. "This is all yours?"

Pam nodded. "Yeah, I'm in charge of this whole area." This is as good as it gets....sadly.

Michael of course walked out holding the blow up doll and tossed it in the hall. Pam and her mom just watched.  Her mom tried to catch her eye, but Pam didn't feel like explaining. How can you explain that?

Pam was showing her mom her desk. "This is where I used to keep my computer."

"Oh, right, right, I remember, with the pictures."

"Yeah, yeah, but I moved it. Yeah, but I, uh, I switched stuff around, because I actually needed, like, more room for organization, so..." Lies. She moved it so she can look up and see Jim.

Her mom gave her a knowing look. "Sure."

Pam's mom turned around to see Roy come in, wearing the outfit Pam had begged him to put on this morning. "Oh, there he is."

Pam watched them hug and for a second she felt like this was normal. This was her life. The why did it feel so heavy? Despite the craziness here, despite the fact Roy pissed her off the weekend before, she watched how her mom hugged her fiancé and it made her smile. Her mom flirted a bit with Roy and Pam watched the scene. She just felt...odd. Her mom turned back to her and smiled as Roy left.

"Ok Pam... So, which one is Jim?"

Pam turned beet red and glanced at Jim, who suddenly seemed to be grinning and concentrating on his work. Had he heard them? No, no...he was probably plotting on pranking Dwight, hence the pleased look on his face. "Mom!"

Her mom chuckled and Pam couldn't help but blush deeper. He mom gave her a knowing wink and Pam felt hot all of a sudden. Her mom teased her mercilessly during her calls home.

"Jim sounds like a great guy."

"Well did you ask Jim his opinion?"

"Jim seems to know you very, very well sweetheart."

She glanced back over to Jim, she swear he was smiling wider.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She wanted to quit. Just get up one day and walk out the door without saying a word. No need for anything dramatic or crazy. No knocking stuff off her desk or yelling at Michael. Nope. Just get up, grab her purse and leave and never come back. No one would notice until the phone rang probably. No one except Jim. Well...maybe not even him anymore. Her morning wasn't that bad until she was graced with the job of transferring one of Jim's calls to his desk.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam..." she frowns slightly at the high pitched voice on the other end. "Sure, can I ask who's calling?" Bitch. "Just a second."

She pressed the transfer button, letting go of the temptation to just "accidentally" disconnect the call. She glanced over at Jim holding the phone, with a smile wider than the whole outside, and she wanted nothing more than to just leave and never look back at Dunder Mifflin ever again.

The AD had beckoned her in the conference room a few minutes later to ask who was that that just called Jim. Pam hoped her look of disgust wasn't the reason why they had asked. Of course she was happy Jim had a frien- girl- someone.

"Katy, and Jim, met in the office. And now I guess they're like, going out, or dating, or something. And, uh...I don't know! You know, they're just, she calls him, and they...you know, I'm sorry, I feel like I'm talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?" She felt hot and the AD assured her she was fine but she felt like her voice carried across the room.

Apparently, Jim had a lunch date. Pam wondered if Katy would bring her big giant bag of purses along. She wondered did she sell wallets too, or did it just stop at cheap imitation purses?

She just shook it off and focused on her FreeCell game. Michael was giving Ryan an evaluation today and from the looks of it, he probably made Ryan very uncomfortable. Pam pondered why Michael had such a strong man-crush on Ryan. I mean Ryan was cute, no Jim, but cute nevertheless....oh god Did she just say Jim was cute? That's okay right, because he is your best friend? Right? She hated when she had thoughts like that, she was an engaged woman! To distract herself, she flipped her planner open and frowned. Roy had to take the truck to get serviced later today. Yeah, Roy, my fiance'.

Suddenly the alarm started beeping and Pam rolled her eyes. Great another stupid fire drill. She realized at that moment she hoped for a real fire to rampage through the building, causing total destruction and complete damage and everyone had to be relocated or find new jobs. Oh yeah that would be great.

Angela and Dwight started flipping out, saying everyone was going to die and Pam frowned. Don't toy with her happiness like that. She stood up and watched as Jim and Oscar walked out, seeing a blur of Michael pushing past and jetting it down the stairs. What a sad little man he was.

"This whole place is a tinder box, it is ready to blow!" Dwight screeched.

She finally walked slowly down the steps and outside, the light hitting her in the face. It was funny how dark and dismal it was inside to her, but the sun outside made her feel warm and free. She smiled up at it and walked towards the curb where the other employees were gathering. Jim stood there with his hands in his pockets, and he gazed down at her.

"Glad you made it out Beesly. It was touch and go for a minute there."

She smirked. "I know, thank god I have super human powers."

"Which is what exactly?"

"Duh..." Pam huffed. "I'm made of water!"

He looked amused. "Yes, thank god."

They smiled at each other for a minute before Jim cleared his throat. They both noticed everyone was just wondering around the parking lot, looking extremely bored. "Okay, you know what? I think I'm going to be, uh, setting the agenda here. Okay? Can everybody gather up please? Important announcement, very important announcement. I think this is a perfect opportunity for all of us to participate in some really intense, psychologically revealing conversations. So we're going to be playing, desert island. Um, who would you do?"

"And, um...?" he turned to Pam for help.

"Would you rather?"

Jim beamed. "Yes! Would you rather. Would you rather? Is our third game."

The fire truck arrived and Jim turned to pat one of the guys on the back. Apparently Jim told her later, that guy played ball with Jim on Saturdays. She forgot he had a life outside the office sometimes.

"Okay, so, three books on a desert island...Angela." Jim replied, turning back to the game.

"The Bible," she said and Pam noticed everyone stared at her waiting to see if there was more.

Stanley spoke up. "That's one book, you got two others."

"A Purpose Driven Life."

Jim nodded. "Nice...Third book?"

Angela looked curtly at him. "No."

Jim let it slide and moved on to Phyllis who offended Angela with mention of the Da Vinci Code. Pam smiled and wondered what books she would take. Definitely one fiction, for imagination, maybe one on desert island survival, and a cheesy romance novel. If she was trapped on a desert island alone, she needed something...right? She wanted to ask Jim if a sketchbook counted when Dwight began saying what crazy things he would bring to the island.

She didn't even need to know what Jim had in his head. He glanced over at her,and she couldn't  help but cackle at the mess that is Dwight.

Jim let Dwight ramble on about Harry Potter and something else and then the game seemed stalled. "Okay, I thought people read more books. DVDs! Five movies, what would you bring to the island?

Pam watched Dwight raise his hand but Jim ignored him. "Yes, Meredith?"

"Legends of the Fall, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Legally Blond, Bridges of Madison County..."

The AD had pulled them in front of the fire truck and inquired about the game.

Jim just shook his head. "Wow."

Pam had to laugh. "Legends of the Fall." Well Brad Pitt was hot.

But Jim continued to shake his head in disbelief. "Wow. Bridges of Madison County, Legally Blond, these movies are just-"

Pam crumpled her nose. "Well, I kind of like Legally..."

She watched as Jim stood up straight and casted her a look of bemusement. "Wait, wait, wait. Pam, no. Do you understand? The, the game is desert island movies, not guilty pleasure movies. Desert island movies are the movies you are going to watch for the rest of your life. Forever! " He gave a look to the camera. "Unforgivable."

Pam was grateful to have Jim. He made everything so light and free and funny. He was the perfect escape from a gloom day. "I take it back."

"Unforgivable." Jim looked ashamed.

She wanted to smack him. Or kiss him...stop. "I take it back!"

He smiled at her. "Good."

They rejoined the circle and Pam was standing in the shade beside Jim. "Pam, get us back into it. Five movies, go ahead. "

She scrunched her nose. She loved movies and sometimes, when Roy didn't need her to help him move some relative's furniture, she would rent a few videos and veg-out and watch movies. "Okay, um, Fargo, um, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused..."

Jim gave a big smile. "Oh, definitely in my top five."

Pam bit back her own grin. "Yes, in my top three, so suck it."

She couldn't believe she told Jim to suck it. It was laden with sexual tension, she was sure. He just glared at her in awe "What?"

She continued. "Breakfast Club. Um, The Princess Bride and-"

"Okay that's five." Jim interrupted her. Pam tried to say more but Jim wouldn't let her and moved on to Dwight, who was kicking a sign. Weirdo.

"Alright, let's move on. Let's move on to the main event, who would you do?"

"Present company excluded?" Kevin asked.

Jim gave a shrug. "Um, not neccessaril-"

"Pam." Kevin said with much conviction.

Oscar also said. "Pam."

What? What am I? A piece of meat?, she thought. She turned to Jim to see him get flustered and red, like she was. "Um...okay. Ah, you know what? Maybe I'll, I'll finish explaining the rules, let's, let me explain it first, and then-"

R.E.M.'s "Everybody Hurts" blasted into Pam's ears and she looked at Jim. Dwight was freaking suicidal. Jim met her eyes and nodded.

"Yeah, so we'll get right, you know what? I'll be right back. Stanley, you're taking over for me buddy. I'll be right back."

Jim wagged his eyebrow at Pam as they approached Dwight's car and she smiled.

"Dwight?" Jim said softly. Dwight didn't respond, he just turned up the music. It looked like he was crying. Jim looked concerned, well not really. "Dwight. Come on buddy, use words."

Dwight turned the music off and kept staring into space. "Why didn't I go to business school?"

Pam and Jim lock eyes. What the hell is he talking about? "Who goes to business school?"

"The temp."

Pam sensed that Dwight was insanely jealous of all the attention Michael focused on Ryan. Even if it made Ryan want to go out of a window. Dwight did all he could to make Michael notice him. It would be sad if it wasn't so hysterical. Softly Pam replied, "You know, I bet Ryan thinks to himself, I wish I were a volunteer sheriff on the weekends."

"He doesn't even know that I do that."

"You should tell him."

That seemed to depress Dwight more. "Oh yeah Pam, right. That's going to help things, just talk it out. I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted!"

Pam could see Jim was cracking up. He was doing his damnedest not show it but she could feel his lean body shake with laughter beside her own.

"You know what you should do?" Jim almost guffawed out. " You should quit! And then, that would stick it to both of them."

At that moment Pam could have died happy. They egged him to quit but he refused and the pair walked away barely holding in the humor of it all.

"Hey you guys, what's going on?" Roy's voice entered her ears. Her fiance'. She watched Jim dort of tense up, as he did whenever ROy came around, but his smile, though slacked a bit, remained.

She wanted to laugh, just laugh but he would never understand, never.

They all stood around Stanley, still playing games. "Okay, it's called, who would you do?"

"Mm, Roy? Roy? Who would you do Roy?" Asked Michael.

"Uh..." he paused. Pam gave a small smile. It's okay baby, we're engaged. They all know. "Oh, I got it, uh, what's the name of that uh, tight ass, uh, Christian, uh, chick. The, uh, the blond?"

Angela snapped her head out. "My name is Angela."

Roy smiled and gave a wave. "Hey, Angela, Roy. Nice to meet you."

Pam flushed red and wanted to strangle Roy. How could he?! Angela?! Of all people?! Phyllis would have been a better choice! Or how about your fiancé, idiot!

Michael rubbed his hands together. "Aaaalright, who's next, who's next, who's next, who's next? Jim? You're next. Who would you do?"

Pam snapped out of her pity party to stare at Jim. Did he think of her like that? Did he think of her the way she sometimes thought of him? Of course not, he was her best friend, a gentleman, he was...Jim.She noticed his face turned redder and he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Ahhhhh...uhhh...Ah, Kevin, hands down." He replied causing everyone, even Pam to laugh. She wanted to smack herself for thinking he'd choose her. "Yeah. He's really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards, we could just watch bowling."

Michael, of course, ruined the mood by suggesting he would molest Ryan. They all scattered and Pam found herself surrounded by the ladies.

"Jim." Phyllis said smiling. Pam always guessed Phyllis liked Jim, he had that cuteness about him and he was a really sweet guy. Why not Jim? Why.not. Jim?

"Definitely, definitely, Jim." Kelly replied as who she would do.

Phyllis nudged Pam. "Come on, Pam."

"How about you Pam?"

Pam stuttered. Not Jim. Can't be Jim. No. No. No.... "Um, Oscar's kind of cute."

"Yeah, I like Oscar." Phyllis said hesitantly, like that wasn't the answer she was expecting.

"Ooh, Toby." Pam through out. Anyone but Jim. No Jim. Jim off limits.

A few minutes later a car pulls into the parking lot and Jim smiled his brilliant smile and walked over. Pam couldn't help but cringe as he greeted Katy.

"Hey!"

"How are you?" he beamed.

Pam didn't want to watch as Katy grabbed his tie. She felt like she wanted to throw up or run and kick Katy in the face. She was sure Katy was acting like the whorey sex kitten she is -whoa, channeling Angela is not good!

Katy got out the car and she walked with Jim towards the group and Pam saw him grab her hand. Her heart stopped at bit.

Jim spoke up. "Ladies and gentlemen, gather around, we have one more participant, come on, be polite. Be polite. Desert island, Five movies, go."

"Okay, um, first, Legally Blond." Katy replied, and Pam wanted to yank her red salon styled hair out of every socket.

"HA!" Pam laughed. She gave Jim a knowing look.

Later in her talking head, she lied her ass off.

"I forgot what a super, nice, girl Katy is. And just, good for Jim. They are so cute together. And, um, what an adorable car."

In fact she hated her, even though she knew nothing about her. She was all wrong for Jim. Wronger than anyone she'd ever seen. And she didn't know why. He was her best friend and he deserved better right? Right? The game ended with Jim announcing he was leaving with Katy and he walked away. Pam frowned as she watched him walk to the stupidly cute car with the annoying red head who just won't call his extension directly. She watched him laugh and smile at something Katy said and her heart broke a little.

Pam turned and saw Roy. She pulled his neck towards her and kissed him. She had to remind herself that Roy was home. He was her heart....right?

Chapter 7: The Fight/The Client by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

Remember, no copytight infringement intended. Thanks to NBC and Twiz TV for the dialogue and the transcripts. Also big thanks to my beta, Bonnie! =-)

Reviews appreciated.

Sometimes she didn't know what to say out of her big stupid mouthShe always let stuff slip out wrong, meaning something completely different. When she had suggested Jim try to go for the job in Maryland, she only meant that Dunder Mifflin Scranton was a cesspool of nothingness, and Jim was so far above that, she wanted better for him. Even if that meant losing her friend.

Jim had gotten more upset than she realized and for a minute she wondered why. He just shrugged and gave one of his smiles.

"The only way I'd leave Scranton Beesly, is if my runway model career takes off and I'm needed immediately in Paris."

Pam didn't agree, she didn't understand why Jim didn't want more when it was obvious he was so obviously capable of it.  Oh look...pot meet kettle! Have we met before?! Sure she could say the same thing about herself, but her circumstances were different. Jim didn't have an impending marriage, he had nothing holding him back from his full potential. Whoa! Holding me back? Is that what I think, Roy is holding me back? She just wanted him to know she believed he was wasting so many of his wonderful talents in this place, he had so much to offer someone, job related of course.

But she didn't push it further, instead she apologized, hoping to salvage a friendship that meant so much to her.

She was happy to walk into work to an over-anxious Jim. Maybe because it was Friday.

"Want to help me?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Depends, is it dangerous?"

"Beesly, I'm insulted. Of course it is." He said in mock disappointment. She smiled and followed him into the break room as he un-hatched his devious plan.

"You thought of that this morning? How long have you been awake?" she responded.

Jim shook his head. "Um...since 4 am. Had a lot on my mind. Anyway, ready for some heavy lifting?"

Around 7:30 she settled down at her desk and checked messages. Jim was involved in a round of Solitaire and she took that moment to look at him fully. His eyes were squinted at the screen, from prolonged exposure probably, and his hair was extra tussled this morning. His tie was already loosened, and his sleeves rolled up on his long arms. She wondered if he worked out. What? PAM?!

He did look a bit tired, and she couldn't help but wonder what kept him up so late? Did he lay awake sometimes and stare at the ceiling, willing it to come crashing down like she did most nights? Jim in bed...boxers or briefs? MY GOD PAM!

She couldn't finish chastising herself for having such thoughts as Dwight strolled in and stopped abruptly by her desk. His eyes were wide and he gritted his teeth.

"Where is my desk?"

Jim looked up and over at the empty space that once was Dwight's area, "That is weird."

Dwight turned red, and Pam stifled her giggle fit wondering if he would turn purple soon. "This is not funny, this is totally unprofessional."

"Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk." Jim shrugged.

"I didn't lose my desk!"

"Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?" Jim replied, leaning forward. He was the master.

"Okay, who moved my desk?" Dwight yelped.

"I think you should retrace your steps."

Dwight frowned at Jim and stomped towards Michael's office. "Okay, I am going to tell Michael, and this entire office will be punished."

Without even flinching, Jim coolly looked down at his paperwork. "Colder."

She watched in amazement as Dwight paused and gave Jim a look. Then he stepped backwards. "Warmer."

Everyone in the office stopped to watch. Pam didn't know how much longer she could hold out.

Jim jotted something on his paper work. "Little warmer."

They watched Dwight go into the kitchen and Jim gave her a bright smile before saying, "There you go, ooh, warmer."

He watched as Dwight walked near the men's bathroom then past it. "Warmer, cold, cold! Cold! Back up!"

He grabbed the phone and winked at her, pressing a speed dial button and sitting back lazily in his chair. Pam snorted and he turned to her, not even focusing on Dwight going into the bathroom.

Clearing his throat, he cradled the phone between his chin and his shoulder. "Hi Dwight. Um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 pound white bond?.... I know...Okay thank you, I got to get back to work."

Jim hung up the phone, and Pam couldn't help but stare at him for all his brilliance. Some might consider him cruel, but Pam just thought Jim had so much humor, he need a release. Dwight provided that.  Why not take it out on the one person who hates laughter?

She shifted in her seat and watched Stanley approach her holding a folder. He sat them on her desk and stared down at her.

"I don't want to stay until 7:00 again this year." Stanley's voice was full of annoyance.

"I don't really have any control over that, Stanley." She frowned as she took them. Today Michael had to sign the expense reports. Well actually last week but today was the deadline. She had tried for a few weeks to get him to sign it, but Michael found other ways to distract her.

She gave a talking head shortly after moving Dwight's desk.

"Michael tends to procrastinate a bit...whenever he has to do work. Um, time cards..." She held up the color appropriate folders. "He has to sign these every Friday. Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. And expense reports. All he has to do is initial these, at the end of every quarter. But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday. And that's today. I call it the perfect storm."

She gathered her folders, said a hail Mary even though she wasn't Catholic and went to annoy Michael. Ryan sat there looking terrified as usual and Pam just knocked to get Michael's attention.

"Hello. Oh, God." He grumbled and made a cross sign with his index fingers. "Busy work. Ah, get away, get away. Cretin."

Pam ignored him and told him the folders were organized and had signature tabs. She knew Michael would be difficult, it's like trying to feed a baby spinach. "Well, the last pickup for overnight deliveries is at 7:00, so you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier."

"Shalax, Pam. Stop Pam-MSing." Michael replied, looking from the camera to Ryan for approval. He didn't get any. "That's pretty good. Um, actually, I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is."

Ryan looked confused. "Updating emergency contacts?"

She sighed heavily. "Well, is that really a priority?"

She really didn't want Michael to start, she just wanted him to sign the damned expense reports. "Is it a priority? Oh, I don't know. Um, what if there's a tornado, Pam? People's legs are crushed under rubble. Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife? No, I can't...because we don't have any emergency contact information. Because Pam said it wasn't a priority..."

Pam walked out abruptly in the middle of his tirade returning to her desk. She didn't get paid enough for this. She clicked her mouse and wondered aimlessly around the internet. Interesting, palm reading. She read a bit, intrigued a little. Finally she decided it was a good distraction.

She heard the soft ding across the room and Jim looked at his screen.

Want me to tell you your fortune?

Her own computer dinged.

I already know I'm supposed to marry Eva Longaria and have 3 kids and find the cure for dandruff. But sure, I'll play.

Jim stood up and walked over, leaning on the counter. "Going all gypsy on me now Beesly?"

She smiled. "Just shut up and give me your hand."

He extended his hand out to her palm up and she marveled at their size. As she grabbed hold of it, it amazed her they were kind of soft, not callused and rough like Roy's. His fingers were long, and actually well kept. Well she could tell he bit on his thumb a bit, but she knew that was a habit he did just when he was in deep concentration. She followed the lines on his palm. "Your major and minor lines cross at a ridge. That sucks."

Looking up at him, she saw him smile. "You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?"

"I am just following the web site." She wondered if he could see her blushing as she gripped his hand.

"Well...at least I don't have cavities."

Her eyes stayed on his palm. "Yes, you have very nice teeth."

She could feel him beaming at her.

Later she made her way to Michael's window. He was doodling, my god. She knocked on it. "Could you practice on the forms?"

She hated to be a nag, but he was acting like it was such a big deal. JUST DO IT MICHAEL! He had time to sit out at Jim's desk and discuss Westside Story he had time to sign the damn reports. She stomped into the office and grabbed the folders, placing them on his desk. She wish she could force him to sign, maybe hold him at gunpoint. Nooooo...that would make it difficult to keep her job after that. She needed the money.

Meanwhile Michael was outside attacking Dwight and bothering Jim.

"Just hit me. You'll see." He goaded Jim.

Jim just shook his head. "I can't, 'cause I just got a manicure. So..."

"Oh, queer! Eye, Queer Eye." Michael looked at the camera nervously. "That's a good show. Important show. Go ahead, do it."

Jim was enjoying himself. "Just have Dwight punch you."

"Oh, yeah, well, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who could kick his ass."

"You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?" Jim smirked at the camera.

The conversation got weird after that. Dwight cried during Armageddon and the Dwight hit Michael. Pam just wanted to die laughing.

Jim approached her in the break room as Pam made her tea. "Did Dwight make Michael his bitch?"

"I think so." Pam snorted.

"I need to see a rematch. They should fight at Dwight's dojo."

"Oh yeah, and at the end, Michael should go all Karate Kid on Dwight."

Jim smiled. "I like the way you think Beesly."

She went back to her desk and finished a game of FreeCell. Jim leaned across her counter as he did. He glanced over at Dwight trying to fight Kevin while wearing his purple belt. "Okay, he has to be stopped. Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael."

"I don't know." Pam replied. Michael needed to sign those expense reports. A fight would only be a distraction.

"Okay, I'll buy you a bag of chips." Jim smiled.

She was way too easy. "French onion?"

She agreed but just because she didn't want to be a spoil sport. The expense reports were more important. She tentatively knocked on Michael's door. He looked like a wounded bird. "Go away."

"I just have a quick question."

"I haven't signed them, okay?" Michael looked annoyed.

She looked at Jim who urged her on. "No, it's not that. Um, I was just wondering, since I'm probably going to have to stay late, could you ask Dwight to stay late too, so he can walk me to my car?"

Michael face crumbled. "Come in."

Jim looked impressed and Pam entered Michael's office. "Uh, Pam, I hate to break this to you, but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough."

"He's a purple belt. That's really high." This was so pathetic.

"Oh, I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I can murder him."

"It's just that out there, you..." Pam trailed off, trying hard not to point and laugh in his face.

Michael went off and jumped up looking for Dwight. Pam walked out towards Jim who was snapping his fingers like the Westside story. Loser. They stood and watched the horror unfold.

Michael and Dwight bickered like girls as Pam resisted the thought of moving closer to Jim. He smelled nice, like fabric softener.

"Ooh, what about, ah, Dwight's dojo?" Jim suggested.

Toby walked by and looked at Michael being a buffoon. "Uh, any word on those-?"

"Hey, you know what? I have an idea, why don't you just leave right now? Why don't you walk away from the room, okay? Fine." Michael spat out. Pam shot Michael a look. He was nasty to Toby for no reason.

Toby walked away and Michael looked at Pam. "We'll go at lunch. Pam, make an announcement. Figure out carpools."

She couldn't help wanting to smack Jim for being so happy. Well not smack him really, she would never hurt Jim. But Michael now had the perfect excuse not to sign those reports. They all grabbed their coats, kind of excited by the extra hour they had for lunch. On the way to the dojo, Pam found herself staring over and looking at Jim's jaw line. He had a nice jaw line. Roy used to have a chiseled jaw line, but years of beer guzzling and donut eating made him grow a slightly extra chin. Finally they were at the dojo and Jim stood with Pam as Dwight and Michael warmed up.

She grabbed a punching pad and slipped it on her hand.

"Cool oven mitt." Jim replied.

"Read my fortune." She suggested.

"Through the oven mitt?"

She smiled and bounced on the balls of her feet. "Yep. Come on, I did you."

"That's what she said." Pam snorted and Jim looked down at the mitt. His face fell. "Wow, that is really interesting."

"What?"

"Your love line- I'm just kidding, I can't see anything."

Pam smiled. "Look closer."

As Jim leaned forward she tapped his chin with the bad. He looked really surprised. "One point for me."

Jim face lit up with s bit of shock and he tapped her on the head. "Tied up."

"Oh, you're dead."

"What?" he held up his two fists and chuckled. "What are you going to do? Bring it Beesly. Bring it."

Pam body checked him and jumped around. She felt like a kid. She felt free and playful. "Ooh, yeah. Good move."

Before she knew it, Jim was behind her, and he picked her up, wrapping his arms around her waist. She felt her shirt go up slightly and her skin make contact with his. It felt like fire. "Ooh, not such an ultimate fighter now, huh?"

"Oh, hey, put me down. Put me down!" She couldn't help but giggle.

But she heard the zoom of the camera and then Meredith had turned to look at them and she panicked. This wasn't good. An engaged woman should not be doing this. Bad Pam! "Oh my god. Hey, put me down."

Jim dropped her and she frantically pulled at her blouse and stomped away. What was she doing? A minute of playing and next thing she knew she was crossing a line. Lately being around Jim made her confused and sometimes she would forget there was a Roy. Or at least she would want to forget.

She sat as far away as possible, flustered and confused as they watched Dwight and Michael fight like two ridiculously pitiful creatures. Michael eventually cheated and kicked Dwight's ass. As they filed back into the office, Pam sat down at her computer still embarrassed. She rode back with Angela, not Jim. Kelly and Ryan rode with Jim. She didn't know why she was doing this, thinking those thoughts. She ran a hand over her face and avoided looking at Jim as much as possible. She could tell he was looking at her, trying to catch her eye. She grabbed a magazine to distract herself.

As everyone was leaving, Pam kept her eyes down on the drawing she was doing. Jim was gathering his things and she wanted to apologize for her reaction but how can you explain to a friend who knows your engaged, I freaked out because you touched me and I liked it and I'm engaged but I wish I wasn't. That's something a hussy would do.

He walked solemnly by reception and she fought to block out his glance. "Have a good weekend."

"Yeah, you too." She didn't dare look at him. She heard something crinkle and looked up at the counter to see a bag of chips. French onion. A smile pulled at her lips as she reached for the bag. She had just opened a big can of crap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...And so Mark is like pushing the mattress up and gets wedged between the wall, and I'm like dude, jump out the window..." Jim continued his story. She loved Jim and Mark stories. How those two could cohabitate without killing each other was amusing to her. Jim would come in and tell her how Mark stumbled in drunk on night and baked cookies because his girlfriend who just dumped him loved cookies. This week it was a mattress adventure and Pam already had tears in her eyes.

Ryan walked in carrying dry cleaning bags. "Hey. Any luck with that big meeting yet? I've got Michael's lucky tie."

Jim shook his head. "No, they're in the conference room."

"Okay."

Pam perked up, eyeing the bags. "Wait, are those Michael's Levis?"

Ryan sighed. "Yeah, who dry-cleans jeans?"

Pam looked over at Jim and snorted. She took the jeans from Ryan and balled them up and tossed them under the desk to Jim's amusement.

"Cold Beesly."

The AD then asked her to do a talking head and Pam just groaned in frustration.

"Michael and his jeans. He gets in them and...I'm not exactly sure what happens. But I can tell you, he loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that's why he started casual Fridays."

She sighed and clicked the winning move on her FreeCell game before going to the kitchen and fixing tea. Everyone sat around, chuckling as Oscar told a story. She stood beside Jim her glanced at her and grinned.

"She had done a background check on me. She had it printed out-" Oscar stated, causing everyone to burst with laughter.

"No." Jim gasped.

"Yeah. And she was asking me about stuff line by line while we were having dinner."

"That is unbelievable." Ryan replied.

Pam turned to Jim. "What's going on?"

"We are doing worst first dates." Jim stated.

Pam squeaked. "Oh my god. I win. Okay, it was a minor league hockey game. He brought his brother. And when I went to the bathroom, the game ended, and they forgot about me."

Everyone was quiet for a minute, gawking at her. "Okay, that's a joke."

Pam shook her head. "No, they had to come back for me."

She felt Jim staring at her. "Wait, when was this?"

She regretted even saying anything. Embarrassment showed on her face. "Um...it was...not that long ago."

Kelly laughed. "Wait, not Roy. Say it's not your fiancé."

Pam tried to smile but wanted to smack herself for even saying anything. It was the single most embarrassing moment of her life, and to this day, Roy still found it funny. Hell he even repeated it at parties. Pam shrugged her shoulders, and left with her tea.

She huffed down at her desk and frowned. Why didn't she mention the first time she met Roy instead? That was more lighter and funnier than him leaving her at a crowded stadium confused and scared. Wait, meeting Roy wasn't all that great either. She had tripped on her shoe lace and fell flat on her butt in front of the whole football team. Roy didn't laugh as much as the other, but he looked like he wanted to.

Michael left the office with Jan shortly after and Pam immersed herself in a tantalizing game of MineSweep. Jim glanced over a few times at her but she pretended not to notice. And when he wasn't looking, she was glancing at him too.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

Michael wanted her to go in his office and look up one of his joke books. She trudged in there and went through the desk and read him a few. After he was happy, she hung up the phone and went to replace the books. She shuffled papers around that he had obviously shoved in the drawer unorganized and something caught her eye.

"Ha..." she silently laughs to herself. She grabbed the papers and looked at the camera, wagging her eye brows. She bounced over to Jim's desk and plopped the paper down in front of him, sighing heavily.

"Wha-Is this real?" he asked, reading them over.

"It is a screenplay...starring himself." She stated slowly.

Jim's face lit up. "Agent Michael Scarn."

"Of the F.B.I."

"How long is this? Oh, Pam, good work. Oh, wait, stop. Drawings." He pulls out three amateur drawing. Michael drew cartoons, how sweet.

Jim was having way too much fun with that. And Pam had to admit she was too. She was happy he wasn't pushing her away after the dojo. She was happy he hadn't stopped talking to her after she suggested he leave Scranton. She really would blow her head off if he left. Jim had gathered everyone into the conference room and Pam had made copies of script. She passed them around the table and settled next to Jim.

He cleared his throat. "Alright, let's get this started. I'm gonna be reading the action descriptions. And Phyllis, I would like you to play Catherine Zeta-Jones."

Phyllis chuckled. "That's the character's name?"

"Oh yeah." Jim snickered.

Dwight came in being the downer he was. He lingered by the door. "You guys should not be doing this."

"Why not Dwight? This is a movie. I mean this is for all of America to enjoy."

"You took something that doesn't belong to you."

Jim sighed. "Dwight."

Jim coaxed Dwight into playing Agent Michael Scarn and it was hilarious. Phyllis played Catherine Zeta-Jones, Oscar was Golden Face and Ryan was Samuel L. Chang, Michael Scarn's stupid assistant. Roy came by, ready to head home, but Pam didn't want to go yet. They were having so much fun. She excused herself from the table and approached Roy.

He looked perplexed that she wasn't coming home with him, but then just handed her the keys to the truck and went to get a ride with Darryl. Pam wondered if her refusal to go home would prompt him to go out and drink with Darryl until early morning, but she didn't care. It felt good not to jump just because Roy wanted her to.

Dwight found out Samuel L. Chang was loosely based off of him. He refused to finish playing along and Jim agreed everyone should take a break. It was getting late after all and most people would be heading out by now.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Jim asked as they all stood and walked out the conference room.

"Yeah." Pam nodded her head. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"Well...I was going to see if Ka-" Jim stopped and shook his head. "No I don't."

Jim suggested they go eat on the roof because Dwight had said he was going to set off some fireworks and Jim wanted to see if he would botch that up. It wasn't too cold out and Pam grabbed her jacket from her desk after shutting down the phone. She looked at the candle by her computer.  One day while stockpiling candles for the bathroom (people always demanded them whenever Kevin went in there), she had accidentally purchased a cintronella candle.  She just kept it at her desk.  Well now was a good time to use it. She grabbed it and the candle lighter in her drawer, figuring it would be a nice touch to keep the bugs away.

Jim went in the break room and made sandwiches. She got two sodas and smiled at the camera and then went to climb the ladder to the roof to wait for Jim.

They both sat in the lounge chairs on the roof and Pam lit the candle.

"Wow." Jim replied.

"For the bugs." Pam said smiling. She watched the flames bounce around in the reflection from his eyes.

" Nice. That's excellent because bugs love...my famous grilled cheese sandwich." He uncovered a plate and handed it to her.

She smiled and took a big bite. "Yes! Nice. I can't remember the last time someone made me dinner."

She didn't look to see Jim smiling slightly. He pointed off into the distance at Dwight and Kevin jumping over a small pathetic looking firework fountain. She felt nice, better than she had in a long time. Which was odd because nothing in particular happened today. She bit her sandwich again and relished in the calm that took her over. Jim was happy and again he had proved to her he could make her day a bit better.

They cleaned up and walked out the building together. "So, I guess I'll see you in10 hours."

Pam snickered. "What are you going to do with your time off?"

Jim smiled shyly. "Travel."

"Yeah." She gave a giggle. He could always make her laugh.

"I've been looking forward to it." He replied, absentmindedly placing one of his IPod earplugs in on ear. "It's gonna be...really nice. I'm gonna find myself."

"You have new music?"

He nodded as Pam stuck out her palm to use the other plug. "Yeah. Definitely."

They stood there for a minute and listened to the music, Pam lightly swaying and Jim bobbing his head. It was nice. No, it was perfect.

 

Chapter 8: Email Surveillance by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

Only one part this week, since I feel this was a significant moment (at least to me in JAM-ness). I needed this because the whole Karen/Jim thing is making me upset.

 

Again thanks to NBC for the writing of some of the dialogue in this chaper and Twiz TV for posting it. No copyrightinfringement intended or desired! BONNIE ROCKS! (betas are wonderful, aren't they?)

 

REVIEW! 

Pam wondered if her mom dropped her on her head as a child. She would call and ask later today. Her mother would probably scoff and say "Pamela, have you been drinking?" She must have been because Pam felt like she was brain dead sometimes. Here she was, an engaged woman, teetering on the brink of wedded matrimony, and she's having candlelight grilled cheese dinners with Jim on a rooftop. It was a magical night, even though nothing happened, not in the conventional romantic sense anyway. But she went home feeling much lighter than she usually did, even though she didn't leave work well until 9 that night. When she got home Roy wasn't there, and the still of the apartment let her enjoy this moment with Jim. She didn't feel guilty until that morning when she rolled over and was face to face with a sleeping Roy.

Women with fiancés shouldn't feel like this, she had thought. She went to work, angry at her self for even thinking that way about Jim. She tried hard to keep that line, such an important line, and she didn't know how to anymore. So when Jim came up to her counter and they joked about Jan and Michael, Jim beamed his thousand watt smile at her. She felt nothing but guilt. He mentioned they sort of had their first date last night, she retorted with "Swaying isn't dancing."

Even if at that moment, that moment she watched him bob his head to the same music in her ears, she felt connected. And that was wrong. Jim got a bit upset and snapped that at least he didn't forget about her and leave her at a hockey game. Pam's heart sank. No, Jim didn't. And in the back of her mind, she knew he never would have done a thing like that. And she felt even more guilty. Guilty that in the back of her mind, she had started comparing Roy to him. And she felt even worse, if that was all possible, because every time she hurt Jim's feelings, he would go right back to being her friend.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Michael running out of his office, locking the door and shutting off the lights. Pam sat frozen, wondering if she had missed something, was there another fire? No, if there was, Michael would have fled out the door, trampled over little kids and women to be the first one out.

"Alright! Everybody! Lock the doors. Turn off the lights. Pretend you're not here."

Jim's face was illuminated by his computer screen. "Are we in danger?"

"There's no time to think about it. This is real. Just shh, everybody."

Pam rolled her eyes at him. Not this morning, it's not a good morning. She should have known it was just the I.T. guy.

Michael profusely apologized, making references to 9/11, Iraq war, and the nice guy who owned the Quik-E mart down the street. Pam groaned inwardly as Robby nodded and just wanted to do his job.

"Your names Robby? Is that short for something?" Michael asked.

Robby frowned. "Yeah, it's short for Robert."

They entered his office and Pam hoped that Robby wouldn't strangle Michael with his mouse, not that she'd blame him. She clicked on her FreeCell game and the ding made her smile.

I was worried that a terrorist cell would target Dunder Mifflin. After all, paper is important. If they got rid of 15% of America's paper supply, what would we do?!

Pam put on a serious face and typed. Jim didn't look up as his computer dinged.

This is a serious matter. National security hinges on copier paper. Now do your American duty and sell some cardstock!

Jim shook his head and smirked over his computer screen and at that moment Pam saw how simple it could be. To just...to just...

Oh crap, Michael had emerged from his office.

Oscar asked from across the room, "Hey, what's the deal Michael? Why are you spying on our computers?"

Michael flushed and then waved him off. "Oh, no. Everybody, Oscar's gone crazy. What other ghost stories have you got for us? That I'm a robot? I will destroy, everything in my path."

Michael started to imitate a robot and Jim rolled his eyes.

"Actually, we just-"

"Boop! Beep! Bop!" Michael continued.

"Okay." Oscar replied annoyed.

Michael continued his bad acting.

"Actually we just got a memo from I.T. saying you're doing e-mail surveillance." Oscar stated simply.

Michael frowned. "Oh,what? No, that defeats the whole purpose."

"So it's true? You have access to our e-mails?" Dwight questioned, his paranoia rising.

Pam looked at Jim, and he smiled. He was going to use that to his advantage.

"You know what the problem is?" Michael started trying to explain.

Stanley muttered. "I think I do."

"The problem is that when people hear the term ‘Big Brother' they immediately think it's scary or bad. But I don't, I think, ‘Wow. I love my Big Brother'." Michael said.

"Survivor's better." Dwight countered.

"I enjoy Amazing Race myself." Creed interjected and a conversation about the best reality shows began.

Pam wondered if she should erase her emails to Jim. Most were about the goings-on in the office, but none were truly offensive. Jim emailed her several times throughout the day, keeping her abreast of Dwight's stupid commentary. She decided Michael didn't need to see that Jim emailed her so much. Definitely not... She scrolled down her in-box and noted most of her emails were from Jim. She clicked the delete button until her fingers hurt.

Out the corner of her eye, she spotted an exchange between Dwight and Angela. She strained to hear Dwight's low mumble while standing next to Angela, "Oh, hey. Just so you know. If you have any sensitive e-mails, they need to be deleted immediately."

Angela didn't look at him. "I know."

Dwight didn't look at her either. "Good."

Now THAT was interesting. Could it be that Dwight and Angela were having...ewww....no??! Maybe! Why not? They have similar personalities, the kind that makes people want to rip their hair out. And two people with similar likes and dislikes are bound to find themselves floating towards each other, right? Pam needed Jim's opinion. "Hey."

Jim looked up and she motioned for him to come over to her. He pushed up from his chair and went over to her counter.

"Something just happened. Dwight just told Angela that she has to delete all of her sensitive e-mails immediately." Pam could barely contain her excitement.

Jim looked at her in disbelief. "What?"

"I know."

"Hmm." Jim stared at her and then closed his eyes.

Pam took this moment to focus on his face, the way he shaved every morning to avoid scruffiness. "Do you think they're like-"

"No."  he stated simply.

"Right, no. Ugh! Ew. Ew, ew, ew." She freaked out, thinking of the grossness that would be Dwight and Angela. Two of the most insufferable people. Wouldn't they annoy each other? She's seen the signs of Angela enjoying Dwight's insane ranting. It could happen. "Maybe."

The AD took her into the conference room where she described her theory of Dwangela. "It's like squishing a spider under a book. It's gonna be really gross, but I have to look and make sure that it's really dead. So if you guys see anything."

After sitting at her desk looking for tell-tale signs, Pam got frustrated and walked over to Dwight's desk. Jim gave her an inquisitive look. "Hey, Dwight? Um...my friend is kind of into these two girls that he works with-"

"Nice." Dwight muttered.

Perv.

Pam shook it off and continued. "One is tall and brunette. And the other is short and blond and perky and kind of judgmental. Who do you think he should choose?"

Dwight pondered this and put his pen to his lips. "Does he have access to their medical records?"

"Um..." Pam blinked blankly at him, unable to process what he was saying. She flicked her eyes to the camera man, who seem to scratched his head at the question. What? All she wanted to know was if Angela was his type, not get the freaky indication he...she turned to see Jim sitting back in his chair, hands behind his head, smirking. Oh suck it Halpert, not everyone can get information from people the way you can.

"Well does he?" Dwight asked again, agitated that she hadn't finished her scenario.

Pam stuttered and was thankful the phone rang. "I-I have to get that."

Dwight nodded. "It is in your job description."

She approached her desk and sat down confused, answering the phone. "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

The ding on her computer made her look up.

So....that was smooth Beesly.

Pam replied.

I know. What the hell was that? I mean, Jesus Jim... Anyway maybe you can get him liquored up for the BBQ, and I can extract info from him there.

Jim replied back.

Oh so you're using my BBQ as an interrogation room. And trust me, a drunk Dwight, might be scarier than a sober one. So you're definitely coming to my BBQ?

Pam read the message and looked confused. Of course she was coming. She had looked forward to it all week. Besides, she always wanted to see how Jim was outside of work. It would be cool to see him wearing jeans besides on casual Fridays, he looked nice in jeans...STOP PAM.

She replied back.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

She detected a small smile on Jim's face as he read her email, but his screen hid it.

Jim replied.

Good, I don't want to catch you drunkenly making out with Dwight in a dark corner, ok Beesly? Erase all these messages.

Pam snorted, but before she could reply she spotted Angela going to the break room. She hit delete quickly. Jim nodded his head knowingly and Pam sprang up and practically jogged behind her.

"Hey, Angela. How's it going?" She said as nonchalantly as she could, considering she ran over. She walked up the vending machine where Angela was standing.

"It's okay."

"Listen, are you bringing anyone to Jim's party tonight?"

Angela looked at her. "No. Are we supposed to?"

"No. I mean, I don't know. I don't think so." She shook her head, trying to figure out how to wiggle info out of Angela. One slip up, one gesture and she could prove it. When people like each other, it's hard to ignore the signs.

Angela got her Baby Ruth and Pam went to put her dollar in the machine.

"Excuse me." Angela said coldly and shoved in more coins, pressing the button for another Baby Ruth.

Pam couldn't help but stare at the camera and back at Angela. She watched as Angela grabbed the second candy bar and began to walk out and suddenly Pam felt like she had evidence all the evidence she needed. She looked dead into the camera and put up two fingers and silently said, "TWO!"

Dwangela was becoming real. Jim entered the kitchen and reached in the refrigerator for his ham and cheese sandwich. "Are you okay? You look like you swallowed a canary."

Pam nodded. "Dwangela is definitely happening."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Dwangela? You read People a little too much."

They sat down at the table and Kevin and Oscar joined them for lunch. They ate their lunches in contented silence, Pam every once in a while stealing one of Jim's chips. And then it all went to hell as Michael came in.

"Ahem."

Kevin cleared his throat." Are you going to eat with us?"

Michael sat down and began rambling. "Of course. Hanging with my crew. Crew that I am one of. Hanging with my Cup of Noodles. This is a meal in a cup, right here. Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmm. You know what I really, really miss about college? The parties-"

Pam pretended not to notice Jim looked into the camera. Sha-yeah like Michael got invited to parties. Good thing he wasn't going to Jim's BBQ. Michael continued rambling. "Everybody'd go. The athletes. The nerds. The professors."

Pam almost choked on her food. "The professors would go to the parties?"

She kicked Jim under the table and he bit hard into his ham and cheese.

"Yeah. They were the most fun. We always invited them."

Lunch was odd. Pam couldn't get back to her desk quick enough.

Jim emailed her.

Do you think Michael knows? Erase this message immediately!

Pam frowned. God she hoped not.

God I hope not. DELETE! DELETE!

Suddenly the camera was on her. What? The camera man jerked over towards Dwight who was at his desk, eating a Baby Ruth. AH HA!

Pam squeaked. "Oh! Yes! Thank you."

She knew it! And they were probably keeping it quiet because interoffice relationships had to be reported, and it's best to keep everyone out your personal business. But how could she not see them flirting? It must be hard to work that close to each other and not be able to touch or show your feelings, Pam thought. She bit her lip and her eyes involuntarily went to Jim before she saw Michael walk over to her counter.

She listened to him blather about his plans tonight and she just nodded accordingly and thanked god when the phone rang. Michael walked away to harass someone else. She clicked off the phone and Jim was leaning over her counter.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael."

"Really? That's great!" Pam smiled.

"I know."

"Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere." She suggested causing Jim to smile.

"Oh man. Oh, you know what? Speaking of which, I was just trying to get a handle on, um, you know, the numbers for food and stuff. So do you think Roy's gonna come or..."

"Oh, no, he can't make it..." She lied. She actually hadn't invited Roy at all. She didn't want to bring him and then he would think it was lame, even if she didn't agree, and he would want to leave. And Pam just didn't want to deal with that tonight. She was looking forward to going over to Jim's. So no...Roy would not be coming.

"Oh, okay. Cool." Jim replied and he pushed himself off the counter and she swore he almost smiled.

 

am couldn't wait until 5 o'clock. She would go home, take a shower, iron her clothes (ok just a pair of jeans but still) and figure out how to do her hair. No...that would make Roy suspicious. Even if she was just going over Jim's but she didn't want him comment on her efforts to get dolled up. Because that would end in a fight and she would end up not going to keep Roy happy. No...she'd look as if she was going to the grocery store. Yep...that's it.

Michael came out his office eyeing people awkwardly. Pam grabbed her coat and her purse and was headed out the door. "Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk you to your vehicular transport?"

She shook her head. "No thanks."

As others filed out after her into the parking lot, Pam jumped into the truck (She told Roy she needed it tonight). As she pulled out she passed Jim, and slowed down.

"See you in a few hours." He said happily.

Pam winked and drove off. She went home and Roy wasn't there, and she figured he went with Darryl. Pam took a nice hot shower and used her perfumed body wash, and then slipped on her outfit. She looked at herself in the mirror and then grabbed her coat and keys, happy with the note she wrote for Roy.

Went to BBQ with work buddies. Won't stay out too late. Don't worry. Pam.

Simple, to the point, and no information what so ever. She drove to the address the email she printed out. The house looked plain but it was nice. Nicer than the apartment she lived in. She got out and noticed most of the people from work were there already. She took her time walking down the walkway and smiled when she reached the door. On it was a sign.

Come in, this is Jim and Mark's Place. Sorry about the sign, but the Butler is a lazy bastard. Door's open.

Pam stepped inside and heard music and people laughing and talking. And even though this was a bachelor pad, it was well kept. It was very clean and art decorated the walls. She walked into the living room area to see Jim standing there talking to some of the guests. "-we will be taking the tour like I promised-"

"Hey."

Jim turned to her and flashed her a big smile. "Hey! Just in time. Do you want to go on a group tour? We were just about to leave."

She nodded. She wanted to see the house. To see how Jim lived. "Definitely."

"Well, the group tour is now leaving then. Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things that we're going to be pointing out to you today. You will be able to see both bedrooms. And, uh, if we're lucky, maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom. Who knows? I have to remind you also that flash photography is prohibited. And as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. I know you might want to."

She followed up after Ryan, and smiled at the art that she saw adored the walls. One poster she had wanted for the apartment but Roy frowned. "Stupid fancy smancy posters. Let's just leave the walls bare."

They began to walk up the stairs and she heard Ryan ask, "Hey, is Katy coming?"

Jim replied in a low voice. "Um, actually, I haven't talked to her in a while."

Huh? Say what? Katy isn't coming? Pam felt the corners of her mouth tug up.

"Huh? Oh. Is it cool if I call her?" Ryan continued.

"We'll talk about that later."

Jim showed them the bathroom, which she noted was hysterically decorated with a rubber duckie shower curtain. And my god, it was clear. She suddenly had a flash in her head of Jim showering and she felt hot so she pulled off her coat. Jim walked them down the hall and let them peek in at Mark's room. Unlike the rest of the house, Mark's room was a bit messy. But he apparently had tried his best to clean it up. Clothes were scattered on the floor and his bed wasn't even made. Men.

The highlight of the tour was Jim's bedroom and Pam found herself walking in the back so she could look in it longer. Jim claimed his mother did teach him how to do laundry, he just forgot WHERE the washing machine was located, and everyone laughed. He was leading them all back downstairs but Pam lingered behind and walked slowly into his room. It wasn't messy or clean. It was lived in, it was the perfect balance of Jim. She put her coat on the bed and looked at the pictures he had taped to his corkboard and the postcards he had up. His Scranton sweatshirt lay on the floor and she figured that was his basketball clothes. His room even smelled like him. Fabric softner and home.

As she walked past his dresser she bit her lip. Boxers or briefs? Oh stop it you perv. He's your friend and you're in here peeking at his personals. She felt a presence and turned to see the camera. She felt guilty for staying behind.

"Jim's bedroom." She gestured, but she didn't leave, even though she was embarrassed. She wanted to be in here, she felt safe, she felt comforted by being surrounded by him completely. She never wanted to leave.

Suddenly Jim's voice was heard and Pam blushed. "See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour. "

He smiled his gorgeous smile and Pam got a little redder. She was so busted.

"Cool," she said acting casual as she could. "This is your desk."

He broke his eye contact with her to look at what she pointed at. "This is my desk."

"Your home office?"

He nodded and gave her a look she swore was something more, something she's seen before with him. That she always tore away from. Like he wanted her there, in his room. "Home office. This is it."

"Yeah. You have to sit down so I can get the full effect." Any reason not to leave...

Jim smiled and sat down, his long legs under the too small desk. "Okay. Sure, will do."

"Okay, wait. So that would make me..." She looked around the room and sat on the other side of the room, in a chair in the corner. "Like right here."

Jim looked at her curiously, as if he was trying to figure out what she was thinking. Maybe her face was evident. He gave a small grin. "Yeah. Yep, that feels about right."

Pam pretended to type with her fingers. "Mm-hmm. And then Dwight would be like-"

Jim grimaced. "Um, you know what? Let's just leave that image out of it. Because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts."

They both laughed and he caught her eyes again, making her breath hitch. They were so demanding, as if he knew why she was in his room, as if he wanted her to stay and wanted her to know it was fine. She tore away again, becoming aware the cameras were watching them.

"Um...oh! Yearbook." She got up and snatched the yearbook she had spied earlier when surveying the room.

"Yeah, you don't have to, um."

"Alright, yes, that's not gonna be awkward at all." She didn't need to look up to see he was happy. And oddly she was happy too, being in Jim's room. Just them, no one else...well the camera men.

"Oh, no!" Pam laughed pointing at his picture.

"Oh,yeah."

His high school picture was so cute to her, to have this glimpse into his life made her feel like she knew him forever. Even if it was something as simple as a yearbook photo. Even then his smile pulled at her. "You were so dorky!"

Jim chuckled. "Thank you."

Pam stared at the yearbook, refusing to look at the camera. Refusing to leave the moment, refusing to acknowledge the party downstairs. When the camera man left to capture Phyllis and Mark crooning to "I like Big Butts" by Sir Mixalot, Pam let out a sigh of relief.

She closed the yearbook and smiled. "I love that picture of you. Dork."

Jim snorted. "Oh you so owe me a glance into your high school years now."

Pam grinned and again they were continuing their intense staring. He looked as if he was going to say something...the one thing she kind of wanted to hear him say. Her breath caught again.

"Let's get back downstairs before rumors start to fly." He replied, and her heart sank a little.

"O-ok."

When they got back downstairs, Pam grabbed a beer and scarfed down a hotdog much to Jim's amusement.

"Gotta love a woman with a healthy appetite," he smiled at her and she stuck her tongue out and went inside. She spoke a bit with Phyllis and Ryan, joked with Kelly and Robby, the IT guy. Then she hit the jackpot, she spied Dwangela talking.

"Hmm. Hey, Phyllis. Come here for a second."

"Sure." Phyllis moved through the crowd and smiled at Pam.

"Have you heard anything about any secret office romances or...?"

Phyllis smiled big and leaned in. "You tell me." Pam's face fell and Phyllis frowned. "Well, you do mean you and Jim, right?"

Pam could feel her heart beating out of her chest. It was that obvious? She thought she had done so well to keep her feelings, her fondness of Jim inside her own confused head. If Phyllis could see...everyone could. The cameras...Michael...Roy. Oh god.

Phyllis frowned. "Oh, god. I am so sorry, I mean, I thought, you guys hang out all the time. And you're talking all the time. I'm sorry, it's like-"

Pam tried to laugh it off. "It's okay. It's okay."

She needed to sit down. She flopped down in a seat and listened to someone sing karaoke. Hoping maybe she could drown in the shower when she got home. This was not good. Jim came up and sat next to her and her heart began to beat fast. Did he know? Is it freaking him out that this engaged woman is totally into him? No, I've seen him look at me, like he felt it too, like he wanted..."Oh, hey, how's your new side project going?"

"Um, oh, yeah, I gave that up."

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. It turns out I was, um, just grasping at straws." She couldn't look at him too much. Or inhale his scent, because all the time she thought she could, those quick fleeting moments just for her, everyone could see. Dammit. "I need some fresh air."

She stood up and walked past Jim, who looked concerned. She took her coat and walked out the front door, letting the air hit her. What was she doing? Why was she doing this to herself? Jim was her best friend. The camera followed her out and she stared into it. The AD asked about Dwangela.

"Just because two people are hanging out, it doesn't mean that they're together. You know? Like people can just be friends. And I think that it was really unfair of us to assume that there was anything else going on."

She knew she was lying. A lot was going on. Two people in the office were starting to like each more than friends. And it wasn't just Dwight and Angela. She walked back into the party and took off her coat. Kevin was singing and Jim sat on the sofa talking. He smiled up at her and patted the seat by him. To refuse it would be rude. So she sat down.

"You alright?"

"Oh yeah, just buzzed from your imported beer."

Jim snorted. "Rookie."

Suddenly Dwight yelled "Surprise!" and everyone turned in shock to see Michael standing there. It was like the scenes in the old west when the whole bar got quiet and you could here a pin drop. She heard Jim mutter "Shit" to himself.

"Wow. Who opened the morgue for this thing? I was just driving by. Thought I'd drop in. Here's some wine. I would love a glass if you're gonna open it. Hello temp. Take my jacket. Ha ha ha! Oh, come on. That guy?!"  Michael said pointing to Robby. "He is a good guy. Not a terrorist. Yikes. Karaoke. I love it. I am a karaoke fiend! I call dibs, I've got next. I've got next up. Come on. Let's- Let's get this party started. Ha! Okay. Where's that wine?"

Oh god. Michael just made everything worse. His constant need for attention, his lack of humor. Jim took the wine and put it in the kitchen. He then came back and dropped on the sofa giving Pam a "well it was fun while it lasted" look.

Michael totally killed the mood. He snatched up the microphone and started singing karaoke. "Okay, this is a duet, so, somebody else? Pam, you want to...come up and sing this one...?"

She shook her head. I'd rather be eaten by a pack wild dogs.

Michael continued. "Need somebody else. Takers, please. "

Michael started singing "Islands in the Stream" by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. "Baby when I met you there was peace unknown- Kelly? I tried to get you with a fine tooth combbbbb.... I was soft inside, there was something going on - This is the part that goes to the, uh, girl--You do something to me that I can't explain..."

Pam saw Jim shake his head and then he got up and stood behind Michael.

"-It requires a dedication... All this love we feel needs no conversation...Divided together, uh-huh-"

Her heart melted. Michael had crashed his party, killed the mood, and still, Jim made the best of it. He shrugged at Pam and she beamed back. Tonight was a nice night.

As they all filed out to leave a few hours later Pam lingered behind.

"Want to help me clean up Beesly? Mark bailed on me obviously. I should change the locks on him."

"Uh...sure. I mean, I was going to my second job at the strip club but I could be a few minutes late."

Jim stared at her for a second and smiled brightly. "Take a trash bag smart ass."

She smiled back. She picked up the cups and stuffed them in the bag. "You have a nice place, Halpert."

He nodded as he collected bottles for recycling. "Thanks. Amazing what a little Febreeze and a vacuum can accomplish."

Suddenly Jim was standing next to her, and Pam stopped to look into his eyes.  Here he was, he was going to do it. Was she ready? She didn't know. He licked his lips. "Look Pam, I-"

Her cell phone rang. Roy.  "Um...hold on....hello? Oh yeah, I'm on my way home babe. Yeah. Okay. Bye."

She flipped the cell down and Jim's face looked fallen and tense. "I-I'm sorry, what were you going to say?"

He shook his head and took her plastic bag from her. "Nothing. I hope you had a good time. And be careful driving."

Her heart almost stopped beating. Why did they insist on doing this? Playing this game? Why did she want him to say what he was going to say when she was engaged? "Oh. Yeah. Well...good night, Jim."

She grabbed her coat and walked to the door. She didn't see him drop his head and mutter back. "Yea, good night."

Chapter 9:The Christmas Party/The Booze Cruise by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

Thanks again to NBC for the dialogue and Twiz TV for the transcripts. No copyright infringement intended.

Big heaping chuck of Jam-ness coming up with this.

Reviews always welcome.

 
Something about the holidays made Pam pretty festive. She could find herself slowly slipping out of her miserable mood as Christmas grew near. It would start around Thanksgiving, when she would get to go see her parents. Of course that was after they stopped by Roy's relatives' houses first, but as long as she got to sit down and talk to her mom and hug her dad, she was happy. This morning she chose to wear little Christmas earrings, and as they drudged towards the truck in the white snow, she smiled.

She got in that morning and shook the cold off. She liked it when no one was in the office yet. She could just take her time, and go into the kitchen and fix that cup of specialty hot cocoa Roy didn't know she had bought. He wouldn't have liked how expensive it was. He would probably say "Pammy, Swiss Miss is just as good. You know we're supposed to be saving money for the house." Funny how that worked only when she splurged on something. It made her mad to recall a pair of wave runners sitting up at the lake.

She sipped her hot cocoa slowly, letting the smooth aroma hit her nose and warm her face. She had so much shopping to do. She had already got Roy's gift, he had wanted some Playstation games so he and Darryl could compete. She saved up most of the year and went ahead and got him the new Playstation and the games he wanted. She knew he would freak when he saw that.

People begin to filter in as the sun crept in, and Pam pulled out a stack of Christmas cards Michael wanted her to send. Jim walked in and suddenly Pam wondered if the room got brighter. He flashed her a smile before shrugging out of his snow dusted coat and slumping down in his chair.

She wondered how his family did things during the holidays. Did Jim and his brother played Playstation all day and watched football, like Roy and his family? If after, they grabbed beers while the women folk go and clean up the remnants of a good feast. No, the Halperts probably laughed and the sons probably told the mom to sit down while they washed the dishes, after all, she did cook. They would have probably gotten presents the whole family could play with, like board games, and watch "It's a Wonderful Life" or "A Christmas Story" on cable together, with commentary of course.

She heard the ding on her computer.

Merry Christmas Beesley. The earrings are a nice touch.

Pam felt herself blushing at the fact he noticed the earrings in just one glance, but then again, Jim always did things like that. Notice the little things about her. She smiled and replied back.

Thanks for the compliment. And you can borrow them anytime you want.

Merry Christmas to you too Jim. ;)

Jim snorted as he read her message and Pam beamed over at him. Despite the awkwardness at his house during his BBQ, they still maintained a connection that neither wanted to sever. Even though Pam though maybe she should have. She could almost feel the pull he had on her, and when she was standing by the couch and he was suddenly next to her, her mind had flashed to an image of him ravishing her right there. Part of her had been thankful Roy called to stop it, but to be honest part of her hated him for calling.

Michael burst through the door, carrying in a Christmas tree, shouting demands at Dwight who was pulling up the rear.

"Go, in the door...I can't get through. Push!"

The clumsily lunged the tree forward and Pam just stared at their complete lack of effective maneuvering. Jim swiveled around in his chair to watch it himself.

"No, no, no! Turn it around. Turn it around, you're breaking-"  Michael shouted and Dwight struggled to listen. Finally they got the tree through the door and Pam had already noted it was a huge tree.

"Here we go."  Michael said gingerly. "Don't break the branches, Dwight."

Dwight was red and flustered. "Ah, I got a splinter."

"Well, suck it up," Michael snapped at him, "We all have problems. Hey everybody. Look what we have! Nice, huh? "

They hoisted the large tree up and it pushed through the ceiling tiles, and Pam simply shook her head and continued stuffing the Christmas cards. Leave it to Michael to get a 12 ft tree in a 10 foot high space. Michael badgered Kevin to find a way to "shrink" the tree, claiming he had to go into his office and request that Dunder Mifflin lift the ceilings to avoid situations like this.  Of course he glanced at the camera and said "Happy Kwanzaa!" as Paul the camera guy shook his head.

Kevin went to hacking at the top of tree with the paper cutter, and after 15 minutes, cut off the top portion of the tree.  

Despite Michael's stupidity the smell of the pine tree made her smile. She wanted a real one at home, but Roy had gotten an artificial one from his sister and insisted on putting up. It just wasn't the same.

"Did it work?" Michael asked as Kevin caught his breath from actively sawing.

"Well, sort of. Why did you get it so big?" Kevin replied as he held up the top if it to Michael.

A cackle came from Michael's lips. "'A', that's what she said. And 'B', I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year."

"But what are we going to do with this hacked off part?"

"Well, that is a perfectly good mini tree Kevin. And we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about." Michael replied and Kevin just gave a small confused smile.

"Look at that mess," Michael smiled; glancing over at Kevin in hopes he would clean that up as well.

Kevin caught the hint and gave Michael the mini tree. "I-I still have accounts to look over."

Pam was about to reply to Jim when the AD leaned over and whispered in his ear. She notices the AD kind of seemed to have a crush on Jim, she was always asking him to do a talking head and she did it in the most seductive ways, like whispering in his ear when she could simply just ask aloud like she does everyone else. Pam frowned. Why was she getting so jealous of the AD? The woman was just doing her job! She may be a bit too friendly but she was just doing her job. Pam watched as Jim nodded and grabbed a gift bag from under his desk. She figured he was going to do a talking head about his Secret Santa choice. 

Angela emailed her a reminder for the Christmas Party Committee, reminding Pam that despite the festive attitude, if the party isn't done right, it might depress people and holidays are known to bring about suicide. Pam moaned and grabbed pad and made her way into the conference room.

Angela sat there, her lips in a thin line, glaring at Phyllis. Phyllis doodled on her pad and Ryan sat there, with his patented confused look on his face.

The meeting began and Angela immediately shot down the idea of green and red steamers. "I already told you how I feel about the color green, Pam."

Phyllis frowned. "The tree is green. Is the tree whorish too?"

Pam let out a snicker but stopped when Angela narrowed her eyes.

"Is there anything we're missing? Phyllis, you got the lights?"

Phyllis smiled. "Yes, I got those cute little ones..." she noted Angela balked at her. "Do you think I should have gotten the big ones?"

Angela frowned. "We'll see."

"I think they will be okay." Pam said defiantly.

She felt Angela's death stare on her and she didn't care. Angela was the grinch that stole Christmas, except with less green hair and bigger boobs.

Michael stumbled in to the dismay of everyone as the meeting was wrapping up.

"Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!" He chuckled, pointing to a horrified Pam, Phyllis, and Angela. He pointed at a terrified Ryan. "Pimp! I'm kidding. What do we got? What do we got? How many plates are we getting?"

"Fifty."  

"Ooh, double it. Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me." He replied, pulling out more money.

Pam could feel the anger seething off of Angela.  He had messed up her iron clad plan for the communist style Christmas Party she was planning. BWHA!

Michael started ranting about how great he wanted this party to be. How memorable he wanted to make it. Pam thought briefly, how exciting can a party be with 10 people who just wanted to get out of their and go home, really? 

Michael continued. "I want, I want people hanging from the ceilings, lampshades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party. And also, I want you to know, and spread the word, that I will have my digital camera. And I will be taking pictures all along the way. And the best and craziest thing that happens will be on the cover of the newsletter. Incentive."

"You do realize that we can't serve liquor at the party." Pam replied.

This caused Michael to shake his head. "Yeah, I know. Dammit. Stupid corporate wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody."

Pam glanced confused at the camera. Phyllis and Ryan went out to decorate the tree and Pam stayed to help Angela decorate the conference room. Well watch her decorate it at least. Pam knew any of her ideas would be shot down by Angela, so why even bother?

Angela was spreading out the plastic table cloth and glared over at Pam. "Will you help me?"

Pam nodded her head but stood still. "Sure, you need to spread it a little over to the left. I see a corner of the table."

Angela huffed and Pam held in her giggle fit. This was fun. After setting it up they walked back to their desk and Pam stuffed the last of her cards.

Dwight was clad in an elf hat and ears and looked ridiculous. Like always. "Gather 'round. Secret Santa, let's go. Let's go. Come on."

Pam walked over to sit down as Dwight argued that Stanley was not qualified to plug in the cord for the Christmas tree lights. Hurry up fellows let's get this over with.

Michael had taken out his digital camera that Pam had to show him how to use this summer. He began snapping pictures wildly. "All right, let's count it down. Like Rockefeller Center. Ready?"

Everyone counted down. "Three, two, one. Yeah!"

Tiny little specks of dim light were barely seen, but for the most part, the room was still dark. Everyone was quiet. Poor Phyllis and her dollar store lights. Pam could see, even in the dark, Angela was pissed.

"Sorry, everybody." Phyllis mumbled, ashamed.

Pam reached over and patted her to comfort her. "I think the tree looks nice."

Dwight walked up to Michael. "Hey, I could get some flares from my car."

Michael just shook his head. "No, no. Shake it off, everybody. Just, let's do Secret Santa."

Oscar opened his first present and got a shower radio from Kelly. He would have thanked Kelly properly if Dwight wasn't such a Christmas Nazi. Dwight tossed a plastic grocery bag at Jim and Jim flashed Pam a look of shock and confusion. Who would give a present in such a cheap package? Jim looked inside and smirked.

"Ah, cool."

He pulled out an old smelly flannel shirt and Pam snorted loudly.

"That's from me." Creed said proudly.

Of course Creed. Who else? He probably only remembered about the Secret Santa thing minutes before he came to work and probably pulled it out his closet, or paid a homeless guy for it.

Jim feigned thankfulness. "Great. Where'd you get it?"

Creed just shrugged. "I don't know, it was so long ago."

Jim bit his lip and nodded; knowing Pam would mock him later. She had to, it was too easy.

"Pam." Dwight stated, passing over her gift.

She began to open it, peeking up to see Jim smile. Of course he would be her Secret Santa. As if the gods favored it. In a way, she felt like Jim had given her so much already. Friendship, conversation, and a sounding board. What else could he possibly...?

"Oh, my God!" she exclaimed, reaching in to pick up the small green teapot inside. She had told Jim her first year here how she loved tea because her grandmother used to make it on Saturdays and they would have tea parties on the lawn. She always wanted a little porcelain teapot to have at her desk.

It was not only for the tea but to remind her of her Nana. "Thank you very much, Santa. Whoever you are. It's awesome."

She winked at Jim and Jim smiled back.

"There's a little more to it-" he started to say but Dwight interrupted.

"All right, next. Ryan."

Ryan opened the box and Pam stared wide eyed as he pulled it out of the wrapper. Ryan smiled. "Whoa. A video iPod."

"Ho ho, wow, geez. Somebody really got carried away with the spirit of Christmas. It was me. I got carried away with the spirit." Michael boasted.

Pam marveled at it, she had asked Roy in so many ways to get her one for Christmas, and she hoped he would. Well she had originally asked for her birthday, but that didn't materialize, so hopefully Christmas would be more successful.

Michael was so stupid about his present, he got offended when Phyllis made him an oven mitt as a gift. He stomped out the room and every one stared for a second. Pam could hear Phyllis sob softly. Michael was such a bastard sometimes.

She leaned over as Ryan looked at his iPod. "It's supposed to hold up to 500 songs I think, and it's easy to download videos."

"Wow, this is so much better than the one I already have."

"You already have one?" Pam asked, and Ryan nodded, staring at the screen.

Everyone else was quiet because Dwight had refused to continue without Michael. So because he was being a baby about it, they all had to suffer. Jim whispered at her.

"Pam."

She looked up smiling. "I love my teapot."

He smiled back. "Great. Look there's-"

"I got it! We are going to turn Secret Santa into Yankee Swap!" Michael came back in, and Pam looked away from Jim.

"What is, Yankee Swap?" Jim asked, annoyed.

"One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal someone else's gift or choose a new gift." Michael said happily.

Everyone was confused and Michael continued pushing it as a good idea. "Okay, Meredith is up first. Here's the deal. You can either pick a new gift, OR, you can steal somebody else's gift they've already gotten. Like the oven mitt."

Meredith frowned and surveyed her choices. "I'll take the teapot."

"Oh, shouldn't we...I bought that specifically for Pam." Jim replied, frustrated. Pam saw the look on his face and he looked upset. She understood. He slumped back in his chair.

Michael snickered. "Yankee Swap. That's what makes it fun. Pam, you can steal the oven mitt now."

She shook her head and looked over to Ryan. "I'll take the iPod."

"And I have to give it to her? I don't have a choice?" Ryan said sadly.

"Yes, now you can steal the oven mitt, the old shirt, the shower radio or pick a new gift." Dwight instructed.

Pam ignored the rest of the game and examined her new iPod. This was cool and now she didn't have to make a fuss about Roy giving her one, or be disappointed even if he still didn't on Christmas day. She didn't see Jim look heartbroken.

She didn't get to marvel at it long before Oscar grabbed it and then someone else. She took the foot bath and saw Kevin grimace slightly. At least she could get a relaxing footbath out of today. She noticed Jim was quiet and sullen, hardly even participating. Wonder what...

"I want the footbath." Kevin interrupted her thoughts. Pam frowned and handed it over to him.

"Pam, steal something or pick the final gift." Dwight instructed.

Without thought Pam exclaimed. "I want the iPod."

"Dammit." Kelly muttered as she handed it over.

"Sure you don't want the teapot?" Jim said as she went back to her seat.

Pam saw his face and she felt like a horrible person. He remembered about her Nana's teapot, but it was an iPod, and she just knew Roy would forget. "I mean, it's an iPod."

Jim nodded, hurt. "Right."

"Sorry."

"No, no, definitely." He grumbled.

"I want the teapot." Dwight replied, yanking it from Oscar.

Jim furiously shook his head. "You gotta be kidding me."

The swap dissolved after Michael made Phyllis cry and pissed off everyone after announcing he got a bonus for firing Devon. Pam went back to her desk to reprogram the iPod and she saw Jim stare at her for a second before bowing his head. Dwight walked past her with the teapot and went to the kitchen and Pam felt her heart drop. Her hand clutched the iPod but it just felt...it just felt... Oh shut up Pam, it's an iPod!

She didn't see Jim get up and follow Dwight.

The warehouse guys came up to join the Christmas party and Roy walked up. She showed him the iPod she got.

"This is awesome." He smiled.

"I know, it's totally going to change the way I workout."

"Yeah, and I was going to get you one of these for Christmas. Now I don't have to. I'm gonna save a ton of money." He stated simply.

"So what are you going to get me instead?"

Roy bit his lip. "I don't know. Probably like a sweater or something."

Her heart sank. How can the man she's engaged to just buy her a sweater? It was that easy for him, to just go and grab her something for something's sake, without thought or meaning.

He was her fiancé for goodness sakes! Hell if Jim could get her a sentimental gift like her Nana's teapot, why the hell couldn't her fiancé'?! 

Michael waltzed in carrying a box of clinking bottles. He shushed Toby who tried to remind him drinking was not appropriate. Leave it Michel to ply them with liquor in order to make himself more tolerable to them.

"Who wants a drink?"

Meredith jumped up. "Me, please."

The party was starting to pick up pace and Pam sat in the kitchen, listening to Roy argue with Darryl about their Playstation game tournament.

"I got, I lost Culpepper at TO, it was over, man."

"Oh yeah, I need McNabb and Deon Branch to have big games or else I'm done."

"It's possible. I can't believe you traded Sean Alexander, man."

She sighed and briefly wondered if she could return his Playstation gift back to the store, and get herself an iPod. Maybe she should get him a sweater or something, show him how it feels. As he yammered away with Darryl over stuff Pam had no idea about, she glanced out the window to the office. She was Dwight pulling a sticker off the teapot...her teapot. Her heart felt heavier than it did before, and she swallowed audibly. Jim got her that teapot. Jim remembered her Nana, Jim remembered she liked tea, Jim remembered the little things about her.

She walked out; Roy never stopped his rant with Darryl or acknowledged her leaving the room.

"Dwight."

Dwight looked up at her, frowning. "What?"

"Can I trade my iPod for that teapot?"

"Why would you want to do that?" Dwight looked confused.

"Because I'm getting one for Christmas. It's not practical to have two. And you could probably use it to download sound bits from Lord of the Rings. You know, there are Harry Potter sites with Pod casts on them."

Dwight perked up. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "They might have clues to book 7!"

Dwight looked elated and handed over the teapot and the box. Pam smiled at herself and took her teapot to her desk. She smiled at it and just looked at it, happy with her decision.

"You know, you don't have to answer calls during a party." Jim leaned over her counter, smiling. "Just thought you should know."

Pam laughed. "No, I was just, um, checking out my present."

She sat the teapot on the counter and watched Jim's face light up.

"But-" he sputtered.

"I traded with Dwight. Um, just- I figured, you know, you went to a lot of trouble and that means a lot. And also Roy got me an iPod or, uh, was going to get me an iPod, so..." she lied. She had no idea what Roy would do for her anymore.

Jim smiled. "Well, either way. This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts. Look inside."

She stood up and opened the lid, looking in to see a small picture of a young boy. "Oh my God! The yearbook picture! Oh, my God. This is incredible!"

Jim just smiled at her as she looked through the teapot. "Is this the Boggle timer?"

Jim nodded. "I didn't think you were going to get that one. I really didn't know."

She smiled up at him. "Best gift ever."

"Thanks." He beamed back.

She watched as he seemed to stroll back towards the party a little bit happier. And in her mind...no her heart, she made the right decision. The party got a bit more loose and rowdy once everyone got drunk. Pam laughed heartily as Jim sprayed silly string on a passed out Todd Packer.

Kelly kissed Dwight and Angela was probably somewhere plotting murder. Michael suggested they take the party elsewhere and Pam packed away her teapot and smiled as she watched Jim help move a drunken Todd Packer. When Packer was able to stumble out himself, Jim walked out with Pam.

"It's snowing." He said simply. His voice sounded child-like.

"It's been snowing since last week, doofus." She chuckled.

"I know. I just love snow."

She nodded as they went out to the car. "Me too."

A snowball was hurled at Jim by Roy. He laughed it off, and threw one back. Pam just smiled but her heart felt ripped in two.

She sniffed as the cold air hit her face and watched Jim and Roy snowball fight. She had to figure out what was going on in her head and her heart.

Soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have an idea."

Pam looked up at Jim's eyes flicker with anticipation and excitement. This was going to be good. She almost fell out of her chair when he clued her in on it. Best. Prank. ever. Better than the Jell-O molds. Better than moving his desk to the bathroom. Better than having everyone call him Dwayne.

"You are a master Halpert."

He wagged an eyebrow. "That's what she said. See you in the break room in 10 minutes. "

Pam couldn't wait. Ten minutes seemed to tick on forever and she finally jumped up from her chair and bounced towards the break room.

Dwight was red and furious, pointing at Jim. Jim just munched on his chips and stared blankly at Dwight.

She could do this. She could not laugh at the hilarity of it all. She sucked in a breath and squeezed through the two men to see the vending machine. "Oh, sorry. What do I want? What do I want? Ooh, it's a pencil cup."

Jim had put all his personal stuff in the vending machine. Even his wallet. "Oh, no, no, no, no. That's my pencil cup." Dwight ranted.

Pam frowned. "Um, I don't think so, I just bought it."

"Uh, I think so, and you're going to hand it over to me."

"I love these!" she exclaimed and winked at Jim, clutching the pencil cup in her hand.

Dwight frowned. "Okay, fine. Where's my wallet?"

Jim was pointing to the vending machine. "Um, oh, there it is. J1."

He was pleased with himself, she could tell. He had outdone himself in everyway.

"I don't have any-" Dwight groaned, patting himself down.

"Here you know what, you can have some nickels." Jim replied, handing him the bag of nickels that were instrumental in Dwight smacking himself in the head with his own phone once.

Pam wanted to fall down and die laughing. Dwight began to make his purchases and Pam walked back to her desk, clutching her sides.

Jim peered at her curiously. "What?"

"You have an evil mind, and that's a glorious thing." She replied.

She realized they were staring at each other a bit too long and looked away.

"Hey, um...Michael's memo? What's that about?" Jim asked.

The AD then came over, whispering in Jim's ear of course. He smiled at an irritated Pam.

"She wants us to do a talking head."

"Together?" Pam asked, confused.

"I don't have cooties, ya know." Jim frowned.

Pam slapped his arm and they went to do the talking head together.

Pam cleared her throat. "Last week, Michael sent out this mysterious memo."  

Jim picked up the memo and read. "It's time for our first quarter camaraderie event. So pack a swimsuit, a toothbrush. Rubber-soled shoes... and a ski mask."

Pam frowned. "A ski mask AND a swimsuit?"

Jim rolled his eyes in fake annoyance. "So that he can have us rob a bank, and then escape through the sewers."

She laughed heartily. "And brush our teeth."

"Bank robbers care about their dental hygiene Pam."

Pam was on the way back to her desk but Michael called everyone to the conference room. Oh great. She trudged in there and frowned appropriately when Michael disclosed they were going on a lake cruise in the middle of winter. He wore a stupid captain's hat and Pam had to suppress the hope he would fall overboard...because that wasn't nice.

"Leader...ship. The word ship is hidden inside the word leadership. As its derivation."

"So, if this office is in fact a ship, as its leader...I am the captain. But...We're all in the same boat. Teamwork."

"Now, on this ship that is the office, what is the sales department?  Anyone?"

"How about, the sales department is the sails?" Darryl replied, and Roy nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Darryl, the sales department makes sales. Good." Michael replied stupidly.

Pam rolled her eyes. She swore one day they would roll right out of her head and down the steps.

"Let me just explain. I see the sales department as the furnace." Michael continued.

Phyllis frowned. "A furnace?"

"Yeah."

Pam watched as Jim bit his lip. "Yeesh, how old is this ship?"

"How about the anchor?" She threw out herself. Let's see if we can confuse Michael, a game she and Jim played often.

"What does the furnace do?" Phyllis asked.

Michael was getting anxious. "All right, let's not get hung up on the furnace. This just- It's the sales- I see the sales department are down there, they're in the engine room and they are shoveling coal into the furnace, right? I mean who saw the movie ‘Titanic'? They were very important in the movie ‘Titanic'. Who saw it? Show of hands?"

Jim shook his head. She knew he was playing the game too. "Not really sure what movie you're talking about. You sure you got the title right?"

"I think you're thinking of ‘The Hunt for Red October'." Pam replied, trying not to give herself away.

"Michael, everyone in the engine room drowned." Phyllis replied sadly.

Pam bit her tongue so hard as not to laugh, she tasted blood.

"No, thank you, spoiler alert. You saw the movie, those of you who did. They're happy down there in the furnace room. And they're dirty and grimy and sweaty. And they're singing their ethnic songs. And- actually, that might be warehouse. "

"What?" Darryl said offended.

Michael started stuttering, and Brenda from corporate (the uptight wench Pam had caught looking at Jim) started to write something much to Michael's dismay.

"No I didn't...okay, well, the- Okay, in a nutshell what I'm saying is leadership. We'll get, we'll talk more about that on the boat. Ship." Michael stated simply.

Pam blanked out after that and as they boarded the elevator to leave, Jim  glanced over at her and made his trademark face. She snorted but Roy was right beside her, frowning.

She climbed into the truck and Darryl climbed in after her. She was stuck in the middle. Symbolism is a bitch.

"Okay, babe, if this thing gets stupid, Darryl and I want to bail, okay?"

Pam scrunched her face in confusion. "We're going to be on a boat. In the middle of the lake. What are you gonna do? Swim away?"

Roy frowned. "Damn, I didn't think of that."

They pulled in and Pam watched as Jim helped Katy out of his car. Did he really have to bring her? Oh Pam, get over it!

They board the ship and Pam sat with Roy while Darryl circled to talk to Lonny.

Captain Jack, the ship's captain grabbed the mic. "Okay, all right. Welcome aboard. I am your captain, Captain Jack."

Michael popped up out of no where and in totally "embarrass the workers of Dunder Mifflin fashion", yelled out, "And I am Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott. Welcome, welcome."

Captain Jack rolled his eyes. "Okay, so, um... The, uh, life preservers. They are located underneath the seats all along the perimeter of the boat."

"But don't worry, you are not going to be needing life preservers tonight." Michael interjected.

Before long they were bickering back and forth in front of everyone on who was the captain. Pam looked up to see Jim and Katy.

"Hey, do you mind if we share a booth?" Katy squeaked.

She glanced at Jim, who had his head down slightly, avoiding her eyes.

"Uh, sure."

Katy slipped in happily and Jim took the end seat across from Pam. "You guys, it's like we're in high school and we're at the cool table. Right?"

"Right!" Roy burst out laughing in agreement. All Pam could do was clench her jaw. IS this bitch serious?

Katy wrapped her tentacles- stop it Pam...arm around Jim's and Pam wanted vomit. "Pam, were you a cheerleader?"

All she could do was shake her head.

"No, she was total little Miss Artsy Fartsy in high school. She wore the turtleneck and everything." Roy ribbed her and Pam shot him a look. At least I showered everyday.

Katy laughed. "That's hilarious."

Pam felt like jumping out the window and drowning herself. Her fiancé was making fun of her and she was fighting the urge to hop over the table and rip Katy's arm from Jim's and beat her with it.

Jim muttered bitterly. "It's not hilarious, but..."

"Where'd you go to school?" Roy asked, and Pam swore to god if he was flirting she would kill him. Wow, hypocrite much?

"Bishop O'Hara." Katy squeaked.

"Piss slop who cares-a? We played you. You, you really look familiar. Did you, uh, you cheered for them, didn't you?"

Jim shook his head. "Mmm, no."

Katy  gave Jima look and smiled. "Yes, I did."

Pam felt bile push up her throat as Katy began clapping and cheerleading. "A-W-E! S-O-M-E, awesome, awesome is what we are we're the football superstars!"

Pam licked her lip and looked deadpanned at Jim who had the look of pure exasperation on his face. She bobbed her head and he smirked at her. You're dating a whorey hyper cheerleader who can't call you extension directly and drives a stupidly cute car, Halpert. And I hate her because she's wrapped around you like a candy wrapper and I have a fiancé but I want you.

Roy and Katy began chatting about football stories and ignoring Pam and Jim. She stared at him a few minutes more before excusing herself to get a beer. She needed one because she swore to god while Roy was chatting with Katy, her and Jim had some sort of eye sex.

What am I doing? What am I doing?!

Michael began flopping on the floor like a fish dancing and everyone was in shock and horror over the scene. Darryl had stumbled over there and next thing Pam knew, Katy and Darryl were egging Roy on to do Snorkel shots.

Pam scoffed and walked over to Roy. She wanted to go out on the deck and enjoy the scenery. Maybe Roy could hold her and keep her warm.

"Woo! Who's next? Come on, Pammy, come on, come on!" Roy called ht her.

Pam shook her head. "I'm not doing that."

"Come on!"

"Hey, why don't we find like, a quieter place to hang out?" Pam replied, hoping he would take the hint.

Roy shook his head. "You know what, I've just gotta wait for Darryl to do his shot. Just a minute. Come on, Darryl, Darryl!"

Pam rolled her eyes. Darryl, always fucking Darryl. They might as well be engaged. Roy would walk to the ends of the earth for Darryl to play a game of Madden.

Jim stood beside her. "Hey, want to go somewhere quiet and without the stench of tequila?"

Pam nodded and grabbed her coat. They walked out on the deck, and admired the skyline.

"It's getting kind of rowdy down there." Pam replied, watching her breath mist in the air.

"Yeah. ‘Darryl, Darryl, Darryl!'" Jim mocked the scene inside.

Pam chuckled and leaned back against the railing.

"Sometimes, I just don't get Roy." She blurted out. She didn't get him. How he could be inside chanting over tequila shots with Darryl instead of being out here with her....like Jim. "I mean, I don't know."

Jim gave her a small comforting smile. She knew he kind of didn't like Roy, or well the way he treated her. That was mostly her fault, she would go to him complaining about all the things Roy didn't do. And him being a friend, such a good friend...of course he hated it.

"So. What's it like dating a cheerleader?" She teased. Because it's hell for me to watch you do it, she thought.

Jim laughed and Pam gave a chuckle. He bit his lip and said "Um..."

Then suddenly, like electric, he smiled at her and she back at him. But his eyes locked with hers, most forcefully than it did inside, this look was piercing, was demanding and in an instant Pam saw it. She saw what she was refusing to see, scared to see, trying to not see because hells he felt it too. As their breath floated in the air, eyes locked, she swore she couldn't even blink because he wouldn't let her. She wanted to, she had to because this was wrong. She was engaged...to...to...damn what is his name?

My god, his name is Roy! 10 years Pam! 10 years you loved him and you're standing here, begging with everything in you for this tall lanky paper salesman to just say what he feels and hold you and never let go!  Then what? You walk back inside and break up with Roy? Ruin him? Break his heart? Only hussies do that Pam! Only hussies do what you have done for 2 years, fantasize about this man, wish it was him instead of Roy holding you, wish you could get in a red Corolla instead of a truck when going home...stop...no...no...no! Do it, Jim. I'm too cowardly to do it. Do it before I get scared, and walk away...please...please.

Her heart had stopped beating for 27 seconds and she didn't know it. Jim's eyes were so powerful and soulful. They held her soul, but she couldn't give it to him, no matter how much she wanted to. Because she had promised it to someone else.

"I'm cold." She finally choked out and walked away briskly, leaving behind part of herself, she could never get back. She cursed herself for being such a coward at that moment, but she obligations, she made promises. She loved Roy. Right?

She rushed inside, reeling from the realization Jim wanted her just as much as she wanted him. No matter how wrong it was. She plopped down beside Katy and downed a drink after shrugging off her coat.

"I'd like to be engaged. How did you manage to pull that off?" Katy questioned, admiring Pam's ring.

Pam looked at the ring on her finger, the ring that was a bit too big. A ring that she didn't even know what it meant to her anymore. "Um. Uh, I've been engaged for three years, and there's no end in sight. So, you don't want to ask my advice."

Jim came towards her and Katy, and Pam felt a pain, a literal ache in her chest as he leaned down to say something to her.

Then she heard Roy's voice over a microphone, drunk, almost slurring. "Hey, everybody, uh, could I have your attention for just a second? Would you listen to me for a second? Um, we were up at the front and we were talking about what's really important and...Pam, um, I think enough is enough. I think we should set a date for our wedding. How about June 10th?"

Did he just...set a date? Pam's eyes widened and she could only hear her heart beat louder, not the clapping of everyone on the boat. She couldn't look at Jim, who stood their, mouth slack, tears in his eyes. She couldn't look at him. She had to focus on Roy, on her future with Roy, on her promises.

Roy smiled at her, dimples on his face. "Come on, let's do it. Come on baby! "

Katy threw her arms around Pam and smiled at the relief she felt. "Oh my god, congratulations! Congratulations. Yes!"

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, her and Roy, Jim and Katy. And she stood up smiling at the man she had loved for 10 years and threw her arms around him, kissing him to erase whatever the hell happened on the deck of that boat, because she felt torn in two.

"Woo, Congratulations!" Someone shouted.

She didn't dare look to se Jim, heartbroken, dropping down in the booth, his face full of pain.

Michael smiled. "Come on, I don't want to take credit for this, but Roy and I were just having a conversation about making commitments and making choices, right? Did I motivate you?"

Roy shook his head. "No, it was, it was Captain Jack."

Michael frowned slightly. "Well..."

"Captain Jack!" Roy exclaimed, and held onto Pam. She smiled brightly because she had to in order to stop from crying at the complication of it all.  

"Could have been either one of us because, pretty much, we were saying the same thing. Congratulations, that is great." Michael replied.

Captain Jack shouted. "We gotta celebrate!"

"Woooo!" Pam exclaimed herself. She had waited 3 years for this, right?

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, I got an idea, I got an idea. I can marry you right now as captain of the ship, huh?"

Michael nodded. "Yes, I can marry you as Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin!"

Roy looked as if he was considering it.

Pam shook her head. "No, no, no, no, I want my mom and dad to be there."

"Then, I'll give you away!" Michael offered.

She shook her head and snuggled closer to Roy, wishing she could hide inside him until June 10th so she wouldn't have to wonder what temptation was like. "No, thank you."

They danced and she kept her eyes on Roy's face, his dimples, his hair, anything she could cling to as a reminder of why she had waited so long to be with this man. The events of the day replayed in her head, Jim's eyes on hers, her inner turmoil, and the boiling feeling in her chest as she begged him mentally to kiss her.

And her heart felt tight, it beat differently now, and she fought herself to realize she was marrying Roy. She was going to be with Roy as nature intended, because that was the way things were meant to be.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 10:The Secret/The Carpet by Binxbaby
Author's Notes:

Again..just to remind you...I do not write this to profit from it. I write it because I flove (freaking love) this show and having them air a week apart isn't enough for me. =-)

No copyright infringement intended nor desired.

Special thanks to NBC for creating these characters and dialogue and Twiz TV for posting it for me to use.

Remember these chapters contain real dialogue used in the episodes.

And please...review. =-)

 

Sometimes it infuriated her, the way they fell back into their easy routine. The flirtatious chattering, the smiles, the laughs. She knew it was there, it was burning in her skin, and she wondered if she had exaggerated Jim's feelings for her. After the booze cruise, she felt as if she had been ripped out of her own body and she was watching everything in slow motion. She went home that night, and despite the festive mood, watched Roy fall asleep. Forget romance, sure they just set a date and she might have thought it was a reason to celebrate, but was it really?  Few moments before that she was staring into Jim's eyes, begging him to take her.

She thought she saw his face drop as he watched her dance with Roy, and that made her own heart ache. So instead she focused on Roy's face, trying to sear it into her mind, to block out the images of Jim. Maybe their friendship was just that, a friendship and not dangerously bordering anything beyond that. She had to be misinterpreting things because as Jim leaned on her counter, smiling that mega watt smile of his at her, she wanted nothing more that to pull him towards her and smash her lips on his. How could he stand there so calm and controlled when she was battling to maintain even the smallest amount of dignity in here?

As he chewed his jellies and smiled at her, Pam wondered if he did kiss her on the boat, would she have kissed him back?

She tried hard not to focus on his full lips as he smiled. "Hey I got a joke."

"Wow, are we in third grade now?"

"My dad can beat up your dad." Jim frowned.

That made Pam chuckle. "Okay, shoot."

She watched as Jim rubbed his hands together and smiled. "Hey, is it just me, or does it smell like updog in here?"

Pam scrunched her face in confusion. "What's  ‘updog'?"

"Nothing much, what's up with you?" Jim said smoothly as he popped two jellies in his mouth.

She shook her head and laughed. "I cannot believe I fell for that. Gosh."

She blushed at the wicked smile that was on his face. He had a habit of making her feel like a school girl, getting easily flushed and flustered. How he can make an innocent stupid joke slightly erotic. And he was always making jokes to get her to laugh, to pull her out of that funk of working here.  In fact, she never laughed so much in her life before she met Jim. Even a simple facial expression from him could make her burst into fits.

The fun was over soon enough as Michael came in and leaned over the counter beside Jim.

"Ha ha. What? What? Where's the funny? Give it to me," he said, beating on the counter.

Jim glanced over at Pam and then back at Michael. "Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?"

"What's ‘updog'?" Michael paused.

Jim gave a devilish grin. "Nothing much, what's up with you?"

Michael looked confused for a good while and Pam bit her lip. He looked like he might give himself an aneurysm with how hard he was processing the joke. She guessed the light bulb came on as he slowly smiled. "Oh, wow. I walked right into that. Oh, that's brilliant."

Jim nodded. "Yeah it is."

"Wow."

Jim sucked in his bottom lip. "Yep."

"I have to try that."

"Sure, I mean, it's not copyrighted or anything."

"Whoa...ok. Watch me in action Jimbo." Michael replied and waltzed over towards Stanley.

"Hey Stanley. Is that jacket made of updog?"

Stanley rolled his eyes and covered his phone piece. Pam realized it was almost automatic now; he didn't even look up at Michael. "I'm on the phone."

Michael went around the office the next thirty minutes trying to do Jim's joke...unsuccessfully of course. Pam shook her head and continued playing her Soduko game.

"Dunder- Mifflin, this is-oh hey Oscar. Not feeling well? Oh no problem, I'll tell Michael. Okay? Alright. Feel better." Pam hung up the phone and jotted down the message. She'd give it to Michael when he finished harassing everyone.

She heard the soft ding on her computer.

I think I've created a monster.

She quirked her eyebrow and looked at Jim as he read her reply.

Meet the most unfunniest man in Scranton...nay the Universe, Michael Gregory Scott. BTW, don't you have cleaning to do?

Is "unfunniest" even a word?

Jim started typing back. He then hit the enter button and looked over at Pam, his arms crossed.

I'm thinking about cleaning my desk and completely throwing away all Dwight's possessions on his.

And unfunniest is the only word to describe Michael.

She laughed out loud and Jim wagged his eyebrows. Pam rolled her eyes at him and went back to her game. God, what is happening to me?

So she made herself refuse to look back up at Jim for the rest of the day. She noticed lately she had been doing that, taking small glances at him. Taking in his tall thin frame, his hair and how it curls at the nape of his neck, his broad shoulders and hint of a 5 o'clock shadow. How could she not notice? She was engaged not blind! And therein lays the problem. She loved him leaning over the counter, gazing at her. She loved the way he made everyday in this hellhole better for her. She loved how he seemed to fill that empty spot that even Roy couldn't fill. The only thing she didn't love was all the guilt associated with it.

Pam let out a sigh of relief as Kelly walked up.

"Oh my god, morning Pam. What are you doing? I'm waiting for a client call so I decided to just walk around and see what was going on. Oh are these bridal magazines? Cool!"

Pam just bobbed her head, knowing she wouldn't get a word in edge wise.

"Have you totally started planning since the booze cruise?" Kelly questioned.

She used to have so many plans about this wedding but after 3 years of waiting, she just started fling whatever she could together before something happened and the wedding would be postponed again. "I bought my veil."

"Oh my God, that is so exciting. Can I be a bridesmaid?" Kelly yelped.

Pam didn't know how to respond to that. "Um..."

"Listen, you don't have to answer now, but how are you going to do your hair?"

Thank god for subject changes. Pam started smiling again. "Okay, I was thinking about wearing it down. Kind of like, I don't know, like..."

Slowly, she reached back and let her curls fall down, pulling her fingers through her thick hair. She had never worn her hair down at work really, not seeing the point, and her curls could be a bit unruly.  "...loose with big curls."

Kelly gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "You look like an angel; I'm seriously going to cry."

Pam really appreciated the compliment. All of a sudden she felt pretty and she almost looked over to see Jim watching her, but Michael came out of his office, making cat calls.

"Wowee, Mikey likey. Why don't you wear your hair down like that all the time? It's much sexier." He leered at her.

Pam felt her the corner of her mouth turn down and reached back to secure the barrette back in place. Kelly rolled her eyes at Michael as he walked away. She leaned over. "Well I do think you'll look absolutely gorgeous. This is so exciting! Think about the bridesmaid thing."

She got distracted by seeing Jim move behind Kelly and go into Michael's office. "Um...okay. I will think about it."

Kelly skipped away and Pam just went back to her game. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Dwight harassing Ryan and muttering to himself about surveillance. She would have to go to Jim about that, and maybe come up with a plan to stop him from harassing Oscar, who was out sick today. Pam directly called Michael if she was sick, and most of the time, just left it on his machine. But those times were rare, since she was saving up time for her honeymoon now.

Her honeymoon with Roy. And while finally setting a date should have her bursting with anticipation, it made her feel like she was drowning in a deep dark pool. She honestly didn't feel excited, she felt relief sure, she felt like they were finally moving forward instead of being stagnant for another year, but she didn't feel excited. And even when she was running into bridal shops on the weekends, she never stopped and looked at herself and said "Thank you god!"

She just never did. No, on the weekend while she was shopping, she often wondered what Jim would think about her bargain choices? What Jim would say about her veil, or her shoes? What Jim was doing this weekend? Would Jim come along instead of her mom to help her plan? Because she bet whoever was lucky enough to marry Jim, he would tag along with them instead of using the excuse of a pickup game with Darryl.

Her thoughts would always drift from her wedding to him and was just flying on auto pilot after awhile, nodding in the right places and just going along with the planning. Because she had to, right?

To distract herself from these thoughts, she clicked off her game and started rifling through her drawers. She was usually a tidy person, so clean up day was just a waste of time for her. But anything was better than glancing over at Jim, who was cleaning up the supply shelf.

She couldn't help but look when Jim was walking back to his desk, and Michael was badgering him about going to lunch.

Jim shrugged his shoulders at Michael. "I don't know, I'm probably just gonna eat my ham and cheese sandwich in the break room."

Michael didn't seem to get that Jim hated change. He ate his ham and cheese in the break room with Pam everyday, as it ought to be and it was pissing her off that Michael kept badgering Jim to eat lunch with him...and not her. "Oh, nonsense. No way, no. Why don't, uh- Why don't I take you out to lunch? My treat."

"Uh, no, that's all right. Thank you, though. It's- I gotta do some cleaning. I should probably stick around here." Jim tried to explain off.

"Hey, you know what we can do? Spread out a blanket in the break room, have a little picnic, order some 'za. Talk about you-know-who. The P, to the A, to the- "

Pam saw Michael glance at her, and she looked back at him but Jim interrupted Michael.

"Oh, um, nope. You know what, let's go out. That was a good idea. Let's go out."

"I know just the place." Michael smiled devilishly at Jim and Pam watched as Jim grabbed his coat and shrugged at her, and then followed a peppy Michael out the door.

She watched the door for a minute, wondering who she was going to eat lunch with now. When Jim wasn't back in 10 minutes, Pam huffed and grabbed her salad and ate at her desk as she flipped though her magazines. She had no desire to eat in the kitchen with Ryan or Kevin.

She finished eating and put her things away and then wiped down her desk. Suddenly Dwight was at her counter, leering at her. She clicked out of her Solitaire game because she didn't want Dwight to snitch on her.

"Yes Dwight?" She sighed heavily.

"Jelly beans. Yum." He began digging in the candy dish and shoving them in his mouth. So many that his lips were turning black and they stuck to his teeth. Pam grimaced as he devoured more. "Who took all the black ones? "

"That's a communal bowl." She said disgusted.

"So, how did Oscar sound when he called in?

Pam shrugged. "Sick. Like, lots of sniffling. I don't know."

"Sniffling how?" Dwight pushed. He reached into the candy dish again and Pam wanted to just tell him to keep it because he was just...gross.

"Um, how many different ways are there to sniffle?"

"Three."

Pam frowned at the idiocy of it all. "Okay, it was the second one."

"Okay, good. Thank you. That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

She shook her head as she watched Dwight write something down. "Hm-mm."

When he finally walked away, she grabbed the candy dish and chucked out the contaminated candy. She wouldn't let Jim dare eat that crap after Dwight had his filthy paws all on it.

She checked the clock again, wondering where Jim and Michael could be. Knowing Michael, they could be anywhere.  Her day was boring and uneventful without Jim, despite her crazy encounter with Dwight and her candy dish. Stanley had just walked up and placed a box on the counter when Michael and Jim walked in, laughing.

"That was hilarious. Hey." Michael replied and casually walked into his office.

Pam called Jim over to her. "What did you guys talk about?"

"Just, you know, politics. Literature." Jim replied and then held up a Hooters t-shirt.

Heat rose up in her face. "I hate you."

She was a bit jealous which was ridiculous. How could she be jealous of a bunch of boob-a-licious waitresses serving Jim lunch at Hooters?  It wasn't like they were coming on to him, it wasn't like Jim was that kind of guy...it wasn't like Jim was her boyfriend. Right? She frowned and clearing out her file cabinet to distract her.

There was much thinking about Jim going on. She was ashamed that she was sitting here, jealous of Jim at Hooters, when he wasn't her fiancé. That the thought of Jim leaving her even for an hour lunch was too much for her to bear.

She should be focused on Roy, on her wedding, and maybe if she kept telling herself that, she might actually do it. Roy, her wedding, Roy her wedding. Not fucking working.

She grabbed the box of assorted files and walked past Jim talking to Kevin. He glanced up at her and gave her a small smile and she cursed herself for giving one back. She really sucked at the whole "stop-thinking-of Jim" thing.

Pam walked in the kitchen and started putting paper in the trash bin when Jim walked in too.

"Hey."

He smiled back and went to pour some coffee. "Hey."

"Did you find anything good in your desk?"

"Uh, coupon for a free sandwich."

"Score." She couldn't help but stare at the way his lean muscles flexed under his work shirt or how sloppy he rolled up his sleeves.

"Expired in August. And my cell phone charger from two years ago."

Pam smiled and picked up her box to leave. "Big day."

"Big day. Hey, uh, listen..."  Jim started as Pam was leaving the kitchen, and she dropped her smile, concerned.

He seemed serious suddenly and she wondered what had happened with Michael at lunch. She found herself standing very close to him, leaning against the counter.

"Um... " he started, staring into his coffee cup, looking anywhere but at her. "I told Michael on the booze cruise- It's so stupid. Um...I told Michael, that I had had a crush on you when you first started here."

"Oh," was all she could say, it was like hearing him confirm it out loud, hearing him say what she wanted to say so badly but had so much shit hindering her... was almost deafening. Like he was shouting it at her.  

But he wasn't, he was so calm and quiet, almost too calm. She stared intensely at his face as he continued. "Well, I just thought that- I figured you should hear it from me. Rather than, I mean, you know Michael."

"Right." She said, her mind reeling. She knew she should say something, tell him anything, tell him she had a crush on him too, but it's grown into this... "thing" and she didn't know what it is because she's engaged to Roy. But her breath caught at her thoughts and she couldn't speak.

"And...seriously. It's totally not a big deal. Okay?" Jim said, finally looking at her, giving her a small but painful smile. "And when I found out that you were engaged, I mean- "

Pam finally found words, but they were jumbled. "No, I-I know. Like, I kind of- Like, I- I thought that maybe you did. When I first started..."

She threw that out there to see if he would say he still felt that way, because she sure did and maybe if she wasn't such a fucking coward, she could say she did.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you did?"

"No, I mean, just 'cause we, like, got along so well."

"No, I know, yeah. You saw through me. Great." Jim joked. He always joked, and this was the only moment she wished he wouldn't. But she laughed anyway, because she didn't know what else to do.

"So are you gonna be, like, totally awkward around me now?"

Jim nodded and blurted out. "Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hope that's okay."

Pam laughed again, and burned his face into her brain with so many other images she had up there of him, special moments she could keep to herself. "Mm-hmm."

She walked away, barely because her legs felt like buckling, but she hadn't got out the kitchen door before Jim called to her again, a faint grin on his face. "And Pam... It was like, three years ago. So, I am totally over it."

With that, her heart felt excruciatingly heavy, like he had yanked something out of her and she couldn't breathe again. He took it back in that instance, the elation that she felt knowing he did like her at one point and she wasn't imagining all those moments. He took it from her with a simple statement like that. I'm totally over it. She just nodded, wanting to cry but she couldn't. She had no right to. "Cool."

"Okay," he said softly and turned to pour more coffee.

She tore her eyes away from him, and barely stumbled back to her desk, wishing this day was over. The rest of the afternoon, she concentrated on fixing Michael's schedule instead of looking at Jim, who she was almost certain was stealing glances at her.

No, there was no way to look at him right now, he made her excited in one brief moment; more excited than she was about planning her own gotdamned wedding and in mere seconds after that, he yanked it back from her. She felt robbed. She felt horrible that she was upset that Jim didn't like her anymore when she had a fiancé downstairs.

She walked in Michael's office as the day winded down and Michael was looking out the window, with a sad expression on his face

"Hey, here's your, uh, schedule for next week-" Pam frowned. "Are you okay?

"Yeah, I'm fine. Look. About you and Jim, I-" Michael started but Pam just didn't want to go into that with Michael right now.

"Oh, no, that's- You don't have to-"

"No, I just feel it's my responsibility as your boss-slash-friend-"

Pam shook her head. "No, it's really- it's okay. Um, I know that Jim had, like, a crush on me when he first started. But that was a long time ago, so..."

Michael looked confused. "It wasn't that long ago. It was on the booze cruise."

Pam froze. She knew she had felt it that night, the cold air, Jim's eyes set on hers, that silent pause that lasted forever; but no, he just confirmed he was over it long before then, didn't he?  "Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise, or he told you about it on the booze cruise?"

Michael bit his lip. "Um...okay. Shut it, Michael. I'm done. That's it, I'm out."

It was like she stood there silent forever, taking in Michael's confession and Jim's confession in the kitchen. He did want her then, just like she did with him. He wanted her at his BBQ, she felt it...but why wasn't he saying anything? Oh, big hypocrite Pam. Maybe because she was taken and why would he? Jim's not like that, he's so much more than that.

As she put on her coat to go home, she glanced over at the tall young man who was making her question herself, making her feel things she didn't know she was ready to feel.

"Ready?" Jim asked as he approached her desk.

She nodded. "Yup."

Jim put on his coat and they walked towards the elevator and Pam couldn't help but look at him and see all those moments flash before her and she knew, she just knew.

And while they waited for the elevator, she wanted to say something, anything to him but what could she say when Roy was at home and she was getting married June 10th? What could she say? They stepped into the elevator and Jim was looking at the ground; she wondered was he afraid to look at her, afraid she would see him, and expose him. But exposing his feeling for her would do nothing but expose what she felt for him...and open up that big ole can of crap she was too afraid to open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Pocono's were nice. No really, she liked it. She liked skiing, and when she suggested they go up there because they hadn't had "alone" time together, Roy was for it. Too bad she didn't get to ski as much as she wanted to, but it was nice to sleep in with Roy and snuggle close to him in a plush hotel room. It was almost romantic, but she kept thinking of Jim.

Maybe part of her was running away from the revelation that Jim liked her. Finding out he had a crush on her hadn't taken her too much by surprise, but it did frustrate her. Not because she didn't know, but to have it out in the air like that, made things...odd. Because she didn't need that, and it was destroying everything she had created with Roy. Her heart hurt so much that she just needed to leave, to rekindle what she had with Roy, before she did something stupid.

She did try to get it out of her mind as she seduced Roy almost 3 times a day, and he was honestly surprised at her stamina. She needed to because it distracted her from something that she couldn't bare to think of.

And suddenly she started to feel comfortable again,  remembering why she wanted to be married to Roy in the first place. Her life was going to back to normal, she was engaged to the man she loved for 10 years, like she should be and that was all that mattered.

So when she was on her way to work that morning, she glanced over at Roy who gave her a smile.

"Wow, I mean, it's hard going back to the warehouse after that." He chuckled.

She smiled too. "I know. I wish we didn't have to go back."

It wasn't that she didn't want to see Jim, she just knew that all the feelings she finally got back this weekend would crash as soon as he walked in the door.

Roy nodded and they pulled into the parking lot.  She shuffled into the office and sighed heavily as she went to flick on the lights. But she drew back her hand when she realized they were already on and someone must have been here early.

After walking around the office, she didn't see anyone and just settled back at her desk.

Thirty minutes later, people started filtering in. Pam smiled and gave simple answers to their questions.

It was nice.

We had a great time.

Michael came in, and Pam tried to smile. "Spamster."

She couldn't even muster a smirk. "Um...Pam, plus Spam, plus- "

"Hamster." Michael said happily.

"Right."

"Welcome back. How was your vacation?"

Pam knew this wasn't going to end well. "It was great."

"Yeah? Did you get lucky?"

Her mouth dropped and she couldn't say the words Screw you, like she wanted to.

Michael made a stupid face and smiled. "Oop! Boink."

This is why she could never have an intelligent meaningful conversation with Michael. She handed him his messages and prayed to whatever god would hear her for him to go away.

"I am Pam. Spicoli guy." He joked as he walked away.

Pam looked down to start a crossword puzzle but heard Michael screech. "Whoa! God! Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck!"

She snapped her head towards him. "What?"

"Yuck! Wow! What happened in there?" Michael replied, pointing inside his office.

"I don't know."

"There is stink in there. My God! What is- what is that?" Michael recoiled backward.

Pam walked over and a powerful foul smell filled her nostrils. She jerked back. "Oh, I don't know."

She watched as the camera zoomed in and the camera man cringed at the smell.

"Is that bird or something?" Michael asked.

Pam shook her head at the brown balls on his carpet under his desk. "Uh... I don't think it's a bird."

"Oh, God, how could that happen? How could-"Michael grew red and flustered. "Right in the middle of the carpet."

Kevin walked up, sipping his morning coffee. "What's going on?"

"Um, somebody vomited right in the middle of the carpet in my office."

Kevin went to walk in but jerked back at the smell. "I don't think that's vomit."

"Check it out." Michael demanded and Pam shot him a look.  

"Me?" Kevin asked.

"Check it out. Don't be a wuss." Michael stated and Kevin frowned, trying to hand

Kevin tried to hand Michael his coffee cup and Michael waved it away. "Just get, no, I'm not holding your coffee. Tell me what it is."

Kevin hesitantly went inside, grimacing at the nastiness in Michael's office.  "Oh, that's a real bitch."

"What is it?"  Michael yelled throw the door after he closed it trapping Kevin inside.

"Michael." Kevin began to panic, pulling at the door but Michael gripped the knob.

"What is it?" Michael said again, ignoring Kevin's frantic knocks on the door. "No, just tell me what it is."

"Michael, I gotta get outta here! I can't hold my breath that long." Kevin cried out and Pam pulled at Michael.

"Open the door up!" She barked as Kevin jerked the handle and Michael let go, causing Kevin to spill out.

By then Dwight, Toby, Stanley, Ryan, Oscar, Phyllis, Angela, and Kelly stood around, holding there noses. "Oh! Phew!"

"I can go check it Michael. If it is fecal matter, it must be removed before it spreads fecal spores into the air supply." Dwight replied.

Michael nodded and Dwight sucked in a breath and entered the office. He couldn't take it for long and gasped. "Ugh!"

Pam tried to hold her breath longer but couldn't. She began walking briskly back to her desk away from the putrid smell.  "Oh, no. Mmm-mmm, mm-mmm."

"I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that there." Michael shook his head.

 "That's no burst pipe." Toby replied simply.

"Well, how do you know that? What is it then?"

Just then Creed walked up and in a gingerly tone asked, "Hey guys. Somebody making soup?"

Michael frowned. "Pam call someone and have they done something about this."

Even waving paper in front of her face to fan away the lingering smell wasn't working. "Who?"

"I don't know...who takes care of things like this? Find it in the directory."

Pam huffed and called the janitor's station.

Five minutes later, Maria the cleaning lady came in with a bucket and gasped. "Holy mother of god!"

"Just-just get in there and do your magic." Michael replied, pushing her in the office.

Maria scowled at him and tried to clean the disgusting filth the best she could.

After 15 minutes and the use of a cleaning mask, Pam watched her exit as Michael lingered by the door way.

"Here she comes. All clean? Great." Michael replied and strolled in his office with Dwight close behind, only to exit again.

"Too stinky." Dwight gasped out.

Michael nodded. "That is worse."

"She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. Total permeation." Dwight countered.

Michael held his breath and stared at Dwight. "I can do this."

"Yes you can Michael. Yes you can." Dwight concurred, watching with pride as Michael entered the office. The camera man shook his head and stayed by Jim's desk. Michael stayed in all of 5 minutes.

"Pam, call the guys downstairs. I uh...I think we need to get rid of the carpet."

Pam called downstairs. Roy answered and she told him what had happened.

"Someone did what?" Roy exclaimed on the other end.

"Crapped on Michael's carpet."

"I'm sorry...what?!"

"Yeah, I know. Sick. So um...we need to have the carpet removed. Can you?"

Roy chuckled on the other end. "Uh yeah. Whoa. A dump on Michael's carpet. Hilarious. Be there in like 2 minutes."

Roy and Darryl came up with masks and knee pads, ready to rip up the carpet. Michael greeted them of course.

"It's unbearable in there guys. I mean I'm usually unaffected by stuff like this, but uh...even I couldn't take it."

"Right." Darryl replied simply, slipping on his mask. "Step aside."

Pam went back to filing when she was greeted by a tall lanky sales man smiled at her brightly.

"Hey, welcome back."

" Thanks."

"So, how was the resort? Did you ski a lot?"  

Pam flushed a bit. She wanted to ski, she just didn't because she was to busy making up with Roy to forget about Jim. "A little."

Jim seemed to read between the lines of her response and his eyes dropped a bit. "Good."

He heard Roy and Darryl coming out of Michael's office and he turned to see. "What's going on here?"

Pam bit her lip and looked up at Jim. "Um...a lot's happened this morning."

"Like?"

"Like someone took a dump on Michael's carpet."

Jim gaped at her. "What?"

"Seriously."

"Stop."

Pam shook her head. "I could not even begin to make that up."

Jim was flabbergasted as he walked over to his desk and got a whiff of the horrible stench. "Oh. Wow."

He waved at Roy and Darryl who waved back. Roy pulled down his mask and mouthed "Help" at Pam. She could only giggle because it was just too funny.

Jim stood at his desk to see Michael sitting there, typing away. "Hey, Jim, I thought that we would be desk buddies while they change my carpet."

Pam watched Jim chuckle nervously. "That might be a little difficult with the one computer."

"Oh. It's-"

Pam watched as Jim looked annoyed. "But there's definitely a desk open in the back."

"Yeah..." Michael simply stated, still looking at Jim's computer.

Jim frowned and clutched the strap of his bag. "Which I guess I'll be taking."

"No, no, no, seriously. I don't mind sharing." Michael said half heartedly but Jim just kept walking.

"No, no, no. Seriously, I'll be in the back." Jim muttered as he grabbed a binder off his desk.

This sucked, she didn't want Michael out here at all, and having him usurping Jim's desk was too much. There was too much to talk about, too much to joke about-wait, no this might be a good thing.

She was trying not to fall back into the routine again, trying not to find herself looking at Jim or seeing him glance at her. Maybe this was a good thing, him being moved away, because Roy was around and she should be focused on having her fiancé near by.

She watched Jim retreat to the back near Kelly and Toby and even though she had just talked herself into believing this was for the right reasons, she felt heavy.

There would be later regret believing this was a good thing, as Michael started to babble on to Dwight about the "good ole Scranton day"s and how Ed Trucked sucked as a boss and all the asinine things he and Todd Packer did in the office.

Pam started to wonder if she ripped each of her own hairs out one by one, if that would equal the pain and agony she was feeling with Michael in her face. He wouldn't stop talking. It just kept going on and all and she wanted to just jump up and scream "JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND!" Anything to get him to close his mouth. And then to have Dwight nodding and brown nosing was almost nauseous. She turned and saw Roy pulling up the carpet in Michael's office.

But even looking at her fiancé through the window, her mind still floated to Jim.  She wondered if he liked it better back there with Kelly. If he liked being alone and able to be away from his desk. She picked up her phone and dialed his real desk extension as Michael walked around the office and began harassing Stanley about hamburgers or something like that.

She didn't know why she did it, or why she felt the need to leave such a stupid message on his phone. She guessed she like hearing his voicemail say, "You're reached Jim Halpert at Dunder-Mifflin. I'm sorry I am not here to satisfy your paper needs, but if you leave a brief message and return number, I will make sure to return your phone call. Beep."

She loved that message. She loved hearing his voice. She left a message and set down the receiver. Just then, Michael rounded the corner and hit an unsuspecting Creed in the arm.

"Uhh! Oh!" Michael laughed.

Creed frowned and rubbed his arm. "What did you hit me for?"

"Oh, Charlie Horse!" Michael exclaimed, laughing at a clearly unimpressed Creed.

"What?"

"Charlie Horse!" Michael exclaimed again.

"You shouldn't have hit me, Michael." Creed chastised.

"Okay. Gah." Michael looked at the camera laughing.  He came back to his desk and started chattering with Dwight.

Pam shook her head and picked up the phone again. She could still hear Michael yakking away and she pushed her screen around her desk to block him out. Ha! It worked! She had to share this with...with...?  She was pathetic. She had no will power what so ever.

Suddenly she heard some more commotion and Michael and Dwight were over at accounting, throwing papers around. Angela looked furious and Oscar just shook his head. Kevin rolled his eyes at the scene.

Michael started shouting. "Come on, come on, come on. Sales rule!"

"Yes!" Dwight exclaimed in kind.

They ran over near Pam's desk and started doing some idiot dance.

"Should we help them pick up their stuff?" Dwight asked concern. Pam figured that it was because of Angela.

"No, no, no, no. We don't do that. Watch out Pam. You're next." Michael stated, pointing at her.

Pam's face dropped. "You're gonna throw my things on the ground?"

"Maybe." Michael warned.

Pam glowered at him and Michael went to do some damage somewhere else. Now she understood why someone would take a dump on his carpet. Hell, if she didn't have home training, she would have done the same. She turned to see accounting trying to clean up and just wished someone would tranquilize Michael. And she missed Jim.

No. She didn't. Stop that! Stop that! A.) Stop acting like he's in another country when he's just in the back near Kelly and B.) Her fiancé is in Michael's office right now!

Another round of Soduko made took time away. She smiled at her results and picked up her receiver again.

As the day went on, she looked over to see Michael at Jim's desk, and chastised herself for the 37th time again today. She wondered how obvious this habit was, the glancing over to Jim's desk.

Michael sat clicking his computer mouse and Dwight kept picking up the phone and hanging it up. "Hello, am I the 107th caller? Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller? Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller? I'm totally going to win us that box set."

He reached to hang it up again and Michael stared at him, irritated. "Stop. Stop it."

Dwight reached to pick up the phone and Michael's voice got deeper.

"Stop it."

Dwight picked up the receiver.

Michael's eyes darkened. "Don't. Don't."

"I need to make a sales call. Please." Dwight stuttered out and Michael stared angrily at him.

"All right."

Slowly Dwight dialed the number and then leaned over to his side and whispered. "Am I the 107th caller?"

Roy walked up to her desk and pulled down his mask. "It reeks in there."

"Isn't it gross?" Pam teased,

"Yeah. Hey, I'm thinking, we should head back to that resort thing again, maybe in 2 weeks. Ya know."

Pam was taken back that Roy would want to do such a thing. He rarely liked to travel or go anywhere. "That is so soon."

Roy pouted. "But Pammy, it was so nice. Just you and me. I liked that."

Pam got quiet. She had wanted that too...once. Now, she was starting to feel like she didn't know what she wanted anymore. But as she took in the way Roy was leaning on her counter, in a totally different way than Jim, she realized she had to try to keep her life. "Yeah. Hey maybe we should go this weekend."

Roy agreed. "We'll go back. We'll go back in a couple weeks, baby."

Pam giggled. "Yeah, right."

Roy flashed those dimples that Pam grew to love years ago. "Okay, maybe another month then. Maybe for, like, Presidents' Day or something

Her heart lurch forward. She was desparately tried to regain her deep love for this man, who was standing here trying to be what she said she wanted him to be. But she felt heavy. That's all...just heavy. "Yeah, that's right. We can do a three day weekend."

"Yeah."

She tilted her head and looked at him. "And maybe when we get back, I can call in sick, and get a four day weekend."

"Maybe we can even, you know spring for a really nice suite."

"Are you kidding?"

Roy shook his head. "No."

Roy tapped the counter top and walked back over to Michael's office and Pam let out the breath she was struggling to hold. She had to try. She had to do better than what she was doing. Oh god, Michael was coming over. Pam grabbed the receiver and dialed to look busy. Coast clear, he swerved over there by accounting again.

Pam was typing when she heard Michael taking to Phyllis and everyone. He was challenging the sales team.

"Oh, and I'm not? Why would you say that? Because I'm having fun? You guys just are working for the weekend, aren't you? I'm working for the week. Sales team. Listen to me. This is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna up the ante a little bit literally. Right here, I'm going to put a crisp $100 bill. The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash. Sound good?"

"Yeah!" Dwight exclaimed.

Michael yanked dollar bills out his pocket and started counting. "70, 80, 1, 2, 3. $83. Still a lot of money."

He walked over to the wall to put up the money but caught sight of Darryl coming out the office and instead took it back to his desk. "And I'm going to...I'm going to leave it right over here."

Pam looked at the camera. Oh such a prick.

"Where everybody can see it. I will be taking Jim's clients today, because he is not here. And out of sight, out of the contest. Let's see who winds up with the cash, shall we?" Michael challenged.

Phyllis raised an eyebrow and Stanley just snorted. This would be good. Michael couldn't even tie his own show without Dwight cheering him on, Ryan directing and Pam having to end up doing it for him.

But whatever.

Roy came over and smiled at her. "Taking a break. Wanna eat lunch?"

Pam glanced over to Jim's empty desk, but it was so quick, she hoped Roy didn't notice. "Sure."

So she sat there munching on her lettuce and listening to Darryl and Roy talk about sports, she realized she hadn't seen Jim all morning. She interjected laughs whenever Roy joked or replied in the simplest answers when they did indulge her in their conversation but her mind kept drifting back to what Jim could be doing for lunch.

Back at her desk, she swore she stepped on a pebble in her shoe and laughed. She remembered when Jim had a stone in his shoe and kept whining like a baby in the parking lot and they had made up some word to describe it. It's called...it was...damn. What was that word? She picked up the receiver again and dialed Jim's extension. Today was a long day.

Michael was back at his desk and apparently he made a sale because he jumped up screaming. "Yes!! Ho ho ho ho. Yeah. Read it and weep. Ugh!"

He ran around and taped a post it to Phyllis's head. "Ooh, look at that. Look at me Phyllis. Oh, what is that? That's my sale."

He started dancing and walked over by Pam and she just watched his stupidity unfold.  

"Mm mm mm mm mm. Mm. Aha aha aha mm mm mm." Michael sung while dancing.

"What- what's that? What you doing?" Darryl asked, as he and Roy lifted the soiled carpet out of the office.

"Nothing." Michael muttered and immediately stopped dancing.

"I think he's dancing." Roy joked.

"No, just- " Michael began to get flustered and Pam didn't like Roy and Darryl picking on him. Sure they picked on him all the time here, but they had earned that right. Michael tortured them everyday.

"That was definitely not dancing." Darryl quipped.

"You know what, guys? It's none of your concern. It was official business. So just-" Michael stuttered out, embarrassed.

Darryl eyed him.  "Paper business?"

"Yeah, paper business. Is this done?" Michael asked pointing to the carpet.

Roy shook his head. "Nope."

"Extreme Home Makeover puts together a house in an hour. If you were on that crew, you'd be fired like that."

As Pam was watching the scene, the AD came over and asked her to do a talking head about the carpet situation. Pam walked into the conference room and shut the door.

"Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet... Maybe that's all we need to know."

Michael's mood suddenly changed and he started glaring at everyone in the office. It made Pam feel a bit uneasy when his dark stare settled on her.

Then Michael said loudly and morosely. "You know what? Today is not a good day for a sales contest. We're-we're-we're not doing this today."

"That doesn't seem fair." Pam said out loud, watching everyone else get down.

"You want to talk about fair? Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? You explain to me how that was fair. And I'll explain to you how this is fair. Plus, I just, I think that picking today was sort of taking advantage." Michael spat out and Pam whipped her head away.

"But you're the one who picked today." Dwight said.

Michael closed his eyes. "I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about."

"That's not what a hate crime is." Stanley stated, his eyes rolling.

"Well, I hated it, a lot, okay? I, you know what? If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment, we'd be done."

Pam looked around just like everyone else did. She knew she didn't do it, maybe Creed would have done such a thing, but really no one here would have done it.

Michael furrowed his brow.  "Very well. Then you're all punished."

She sighed heavily. "What's our punishment?"

"You're all on time out. Just sit there quietly."

Whatever, back to FreeCell. Michael had the mood swing range of a child sometimes. She really wished Jim was out here to hear this; he would probably egg on Michael, or use wordless expressions to make Pam laugh.

Phyllis's phone started to ring and Michael shot daggers at her. "Noooo, no. "

Everyone sat in silence as Michael mumbled over at Jim's desk. Roy and Darryl were finishing up the carpet and Pam finished her game of FreeCell. She did see Jim a couple of times in the break room and she wondered why he didn't email her today. Not that she wasn't a hypocrite or anything, because she didn't email him either. Michael walked up to her sulking and asked her to call Ed Truck.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because...why?" Pam raised an eyebrow.

"Because I've been assaulted!" Michael yelped and Phyllis looked over at him from her desk.

Pam wanted to smack him. "Michael, Ed lives 45 minutes away. I mean-"

"Just-just call him okay. It's urgent. Tell him...tell him it's about his pension."

"Michael-"

"Do it now Pam."

Pam held her tongue and dialed Ed Truck. She then immersed herself back in her FreeCell game. Ed actually only took 25 minutes to get there, she was guessing because she mentioned his pension.

This day was taking forever and Pam was happy when Michael left out. He would be gone for awhile so she might as well leave too. She didn't see Jim, but she wanted to let him know she was leaving so she dialed his extension and left a message. She had left 6 messages so far today. She knew she was fighting a losing battle with her feeling for Jim. Today proved it.

She grabbed her purse and shut down her computer quickly, and before anyone could notice she was out the door and in the warehouse, beckoning for Roy to take her home. Roy said he'd ride with Darryl and gave Pam the keys to the truck and she sped out the parking lot so fast she could have been a race car driver.

On her way home, she thought about the carpet and how disgusting it was someone could do it but how much it said about Michael. But she still didn't know who was capable of such an act. And as she sat in her driveway, she didn't get immediately out of the car. She flipped open her cell phone and dialed his number to leave one last message.

"Calling from my cell phone. I don't know if you guys figured out who did that to Michael's carpet yet, but I have a theory that it involves an interdepartmental conspiracy, everybody in the office. We need to talk."

She flipped the phone down and held it against her warm cheek, realizing that she was falling and she couldn't stop it.

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