As if Jim’s hair wasn’t enough of an indicator, Michael’s statement as he drove to work said it all, “Jim is back.” From his rolled up sleeves, crooked ties, and wide smile, it appears as though the Jim of long ago has returned. At least on the outside. It remains to be seen if he is the same old Jim on the inside. To the delight of JAM fans, Jim and Pam finally crossed that line past friendship into something “more than that.” Jim appears to be embracing his new status with Pam with the giddy demeanor of a teenager. He’s now living out his long held fantasies of being with her and he’s ecstatic. His joy sparkles in his eyes and plays across his smile. Jim hasn’t smiled this wide and often since Season 2.

The euphoric status of JAM is effectively creating a bubble (it’s baaaack) that encapsulates Jim and Pam into a safe place to fall in love all over again. There’s no doubt the Jim loves Pam and Pam loves Jim, but they have to fall back in love. There’s been a year of distance and change between them. Jim needs time to adjust to FNB and re-navigate himself. Pam figured out how to make herself happy, but Jim has yet to accomplish this feat. He tried to do it last year and failed miserably. Jim needs to truly find what makes him happy and add Pam to the scenario rather than making her the whole scenario. At the moment, Pam has effectively become his escape. 

This little escape isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as she may help him find more self-awareness. After a year of trying to change he needs to rediscover himself and how he relates to Pam. The bubble also gives Jim a place to just be with Pam and let his fears relax. Jim has always had issues with emotional honesty, especially last season as a result of the fear paradox. He may be allowing himself to gush all over Pam, but he has yet to release the same deep emotions that overwhelmed him in CN. This will take time, but it will happen. As of right now, he isn’t capable of expressing emotional honesty on that level. Until he can, the bubble is a nice escape, or cushion on which to build a strong foundation of emotional trust. He needs the bubble, and therefore takes the lead in maintaining the safe zone.

Both Jim and Pam have only admitted to dating, which is effectively the gray area in between friends and a committed relationship. It’s tough to ascertain just how serious Jim and Pam are in their relationship, but it’s pretty safe to say they aren’t jumping the gun. The bubble zone a wonderful place for Jim to rediscover his ability to love Pam without the fear of getting hurt. He’s not staring at her from a distance wondering what it would be like to be with her. Instead he’s exploring the possibilities with experience. Jim has loved Pam since day one, and now he has an unexpected chance to make it happen with her. He’s not going to blow it by moving too fast, hence the bubble. It slows both of them down enough to truly explore how emotions and communication need to function for their relationship to last

At Pam’s Desk:

Season 4’s first view of Jim finds him in a very familiar place: Leaning on Pam’s desk. It’s a beautiful sign that Jim is through trying to be something he’s not. In another return to normalcy, Pam is by his side. He watches with her as the IT guy tries to fix Pam’s computer, following an incident with a downloaded sex tape. He is relaxed and comfortable in both his body language and appearance. Jim is close to Pam, without a single hesitation of having his arm so close to hers. In fact, he is slightly leaning towards Pam. His shag is back on his head while his sleeves have migrated from his wrists back up to his forearms. His patented crooked smile is back and full of life. Jim is back.

He appears bored yet content to have Pam near him as the IT guy explains it’s not a good idea to click on unsolicited material on the internet. Jim is shocked to learn that Pam downloaded a celebrity sex tape. His eyes grow wide in disbelief, but his also completely amused by her error. Pam is full of surprises and he loves the ride. He’s getting to know her all over again as FNB is an entirely new person. He proceeds to tease her about it lightly, “Really, what kind of celebrity.” To his delight she plays along, “Not relevant.” He pushes it further by asking how much she paid for it and was again surprised at her repeat response, “Not relevant.” Her smile causes Jim to poke fun at her one more time and at a higher level, “You paid for it!” His tone is one of disbelief, but it also carries a touch of sarcasm. Pam is fun to tease, especially since she has found the ability to laugh at herself. His face lights up even more after she smiles widely and says, “It all happened so fast.” He looks away and smiles at both the humor of the situation and Pam. She makes him laugh like no other.

Talking Head:

Jim is pretty candid in describing his break up with Karen. In a very matter of fact tone he says, “I broke up with Karen after the job interview.” As suspected on the JPS3, he ended things with Karen after realizing he belongs in Scranton with Pam. He appears to harbor no regrets for breaking it off, as he knows it was the only option for him. He goes on to say, “And uh, it was a little awkward when she came back from the city.” He lets out a nervous laugh halfway through his statement as a way of acknowledging his mistake of dating her in the first place. The awkwardness of the situation as a whole makes Jim very uncomfortable but he can still find some humor in the mess he made for himself. All he can do at this point is chuckle at himself and move on. It’s a difficult topic for him to address, which causes him to lose eye contact with the camera several times. He doesn’t like talking about Karen and that phase of his life. Last year was a mess of confusion for him and he’d rather just leave in the past.

The scene shifts to a flashback of Jim and Karen in the break room with her giving him the business end of a major rant. Jim’s own words help to convey his reaction to her rant, “She told me, very clearly, just because we were broken up didn't mean she was going anywhere, because she worked really hard for her career. But the next day her desk was empty . . . ” Jim doesn’t feel bad or sorry for breaking up with her, but he does harbor some guilt for hurting her. His nervous laugh returns to denote this guilt and acknowledge his mistake. Back in the break room, Jim barely says anything in response, as Karen lets him have it. He’s not going to try and defend himself as he knows he shouldn’t have let the relationship go so far when his heart belonged to someone else. It’s her right to be angry and he’s not going to take that away from her. He breaths a deep breath and just takes it as there’s nothing he can say or do to make it better. There is a sense of relief that Karen left, but Jim can’t help but feel bad for being the cause of her shifting her life yet again.

The camera returns to Jim’s face as he begins to discuss his current status, “and as for me and my current romantic life . . .” His tone immediately changes from discomfort to upbeat. His eyes lift and literally begin to sparkle as a smile refuses to stay hidden. Just from these cues alone, it’s obvious his romantic life isn’t as stagnant as he proclaims. His smile is bright and alive; the man is happier than he’s been in ages. However, he’s intent on keeping the details of his new relationship with Pam a secret. It’s rather obvious that his little speech was prepared ahead of time, especially the last two sentences. He continues the charade, “ I uh... I'm single now and looking . . .” His eyes look down and his smile slowly morphs into a small grin before he speaks. His thoughts are drifting towards Pam. For just a moment he lets himself feel the dream of being with her, even though he’s in the midst of covering it up. He recovers quickly and does his best to throw a shroud around his relationship status. To throw the camera crew off the scent he caps his talking head with, “So if you know anybody.” He can barely keep a straight face, as a tiny grin tries to escape. There is mischief gleaming from his eyes. The game of keeping the relationship a secret is in full swing.

For Jim it’s about protecting his privacy, but it’s also the equivalent of a prank. He throws in a shrug and an awww shucks grin for good measure to make his claim believable. He looks away from the camera knowing he’ll crack if he makes too much eye contact. By then end of his talking head, his full prank face is in play, almost daring the cameras to catch him. His eyes squinted ever so slightly with one eyebrow raised. It’s the classic Jim Halpert prank face. His prank may be a fun way to deal with keeping his love life a secret, but it’s also about preserving the bubble with Pam. He just wants to be with her right now, without anyone interfering. The motivation keep it a secret may be serious for him, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have a little fun!

Weekend Plans:

The bulk of this conversation is analyzed on the PDS4, so feel free to visit for background!

In essence, this scene is meant to throw the rest of the office of the scent of their bourgeoning relationship. They most likely have plans together for the weekend, but they don’t want anyone suspicions arising about their relationship. Jim’s voice is flippant as he runs through his fake plans to mountain bike on Montage Mountain. It’s all part of the game for him and he’s having fun outsmarting his co-workers. As if his new relationship isn’t exciting enough, he gets the added bonus of the excitement associated with secrecy. It only adds to the pleasure of finally being with Pam.

Break Room #1 - Carpool Plans:

As Pam takes charge in the break room of carpooling plans, Jim backs her up by offering to take three people (which is weird considering she drove him home later that day, but I digress). FNB was in full swing as she planned times and card-signing strategy for group visits to see Meredith in the hospital. Jim couldn’t help but notice FNB, especially as Pam put up a fight when Michael challenged her plans. He watched her slightly puzzled during her strong stance with Michael. She stood up for herself three times. That’s not the Pam he knows and he’s not sure what to make of it. It’s a side of Pam he’s never really seen before and it’s a little jarring. He doesn’t smile at seeing this change, he simply attempts to process what he just saw. Interestingly, he didn’t jump in to back her up in this instance. He can see she can take care of herself, which is another aspect of FNB that is very different from Old Pam. He realizes he has a lot of catching up to do when it comes to knowing Pam.

Conference Room #1 - Religion:

Jim is beyond bored as Michael leads a meeting attempting to eradicate a curse upon the office and discuss religion. He and Pam are sitting on opposite ends of the table as a likely attempt to appear as if nothing is going on between them. After having enough of Michael’s aimless ramblings, Jim take advantage of Michael’s sacrificial animal speech by offering to do some research. He’s creating an escape for not only himself, but also Pam. He tosses her a quick glance to tell her he had a plan, in a beautiful example of non-verbal communication. She picks up on it immediately and follows him out of the conference room and into the bubble with him.

This scene was a great example of non-verbal communication but it is also dripping in symbolism. Jim’s actions in this scene are highly representative of his role in the concept of the bubble and the overall tactic to keep the relationship a secret. The bubble is an escape from everything that distracts from the euphoria currently enveloping both Jim and Pam. Michael’s droning is representative of some of the deeper issues that Jim and Pam have shelved in order to preserve the bubble. Jim is the one who leads the way towards escape. Jim is the leader when it comes to the bubble, while Pam takes the lead with the relationship (see Conference Room #2). It makes total sense that he would take the lead, considering he is an expert at constructing facades and creating escapes. His previous behavior pattern from Season 3 backs this up (see JPS3 Summative Analysis).

Luckily, Jim’s concept of façade has switched from trying to fool himself to fooling everybody else. His need for the bubble is rooted in the fear paradox as Jim still needs to find his way toward complete emotional honesty and work past his fears of getting hurt. He may be willing to wrap himself in a relationship with Pam, but his deep rooted fears are still in play. The bubble lets him put those fears to rest in order to spend time with Pam and build a strong foundation for their relationship. Eventually, the bubble is going to burst (meaning the euphoria will wear off) and those fears will come to the surface again if Jim doesn’t feel safe enough to give away his heart. Jim is the one who will ensure they take their time in the bubble.

Kissing Pam:

The continued game of keeping things secret plays out as Jim jumps into Pam’s car after an undoubtedly well crafted plan to pick him up down the street from the office. He hurriedly gets into the car to avoid being seen, but to also take his place next to Pam. His face radiates with huge dorky grin. He is totally smitten with her and he can’t hide it from showing on his face. In all three seasons, Jim hasn’t had a smile that shines anywhere close to the one he wears in Pam’s car. It’s as if he hasn’t seen her all day. After getting settled, he anxiously reaches to kiss Pam. His mind was likely on this moment all day. The kiss itself is expected on both ends and familiar, yet Jim retains a sense of wonder. He is careful to live in the moment even if it’s only a few seconds. The kiss is extremely tender despite being so quick. His hand reaches up to lightly touch her face as if he’s afraid she’s too good to be real. It’s still not completely real to him and he almost has to reassure himself.

Jim is enamored by the idea of his relationship. He’s finally getting to do the little things with her he’s always wanted to do. That little kiss means the world to him. Jim is literally living his long held fantasies on a daily basis. The ability to kiss her or touch her face is something he dreamed about as his eyes wandered towards her desk for 3 years. This elevates Jim’s euphoria tenfold on top of the usual new relationship giddiness that surrounds most couples. The bubble is what lets Jim live in his fantasy without his fears. The moment he shut the door to Pam’s car he was safely stowed in the bubble where only he and Pam exist. Emotional honesty is a big hurdle for Jim, (and always has been). Right now he’s taking some of his emotions out for a test spin as he explores a relationship with Pam. The bubble lets him do that with a safety net. He’s not capable of giving his heart away quite yet, but he is letting Pam begin to see it.

As Pam drives off, Jim’s face is plastered with another smile. Only this smile is geared towards the game of secrecy. His face full of mischief as he looks like a mouse who got the cheese out of the trap. Jim is beyond proud of himself for pulling a fast one on the camera crew and another day of fooling their co-workers. He loves it that it’s their little secret. It’s all the more evidence that he is the instigator of the game.

Another interesting facet of this scene is the fact that Pam is driving. She is the lead in the relationship and she is the one driving him “home.” This is a nice bit of symbolic extenstion considering Pam is the one who got Jim to come home in The Job. This may be a bit of foreshadowing in that Pam will help Jim find more self awareness throughout Season 4, so he can truly come home on both the outside and the inside.

Break Room #2 - Race Strategy:

Jim sits with Pam in the break and asks her about her race strategy for the fun run. His body language is again opened and relaxed as he enjoys his time with Pam. Stanley may have been in the room, but Jim is only with Pam. She jokes around that she is going to, “Well I'm gonna start fast . . . Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.” Jim goes along with the playful banter, clearly amused with Pam’s answer, “What?” he responds with a sarcastically surprised tone. Pam keeps the joke going by saying, “Then I'm gonna end fast.” Jim continues to be amused and asks Pam playfully, “Why don’t more people do that?,” as he smiles at her clearly enjoying their little joke. However, he is pulled from his little world, when the camera creeps closer to the table. He is a little freaked out by the camera’s domineering presence. He feels the invasion of the bubble and doesn’t like it. 

However, he doesn’t suspect the secret is out as he has way too much confidence in his ability to play the game. He’s never really been caught in any of his pranks, so he‘s not worried at this point. Realizing the camera isn’t going to go away he tries to nonchalantly ask, “What?” He is still playing the game the same way he did in his earlier talking head as a means to protect the bubble and the secret.

Conference Room - Caught:

Jim’s eyes remain locked on the television screen after the video evidence of his relationship with Pam is played. His mouth hangs open in disbelief only to open wider as he briefly turns his attention to the camera. The bubble has temporarily popped as Jim feels the invasion of the camera crew. Part of him is shocked they found out, but he’s also floored that they outsmarted him. He’s never been caught in the midst of a prank (or an equivalent of a prank). He thought he’d done a better job keeping a lid on his relationship and they caught him red-handed. He averts eyes quickly as he fumbles for an answer, “Oh, ah... No that's not... I mean that wasn't, ah…” He’s totally flustered as he’s trying to somehow rebuild the bubble. It’s disconcerting for him to have the camera crew in the safe zone with himself and Pam. His eyes return to the television as he fully takes in what the camera caught. He briefly looks to Pam to help him refute the evidence, but she offers little help since she is just lost as he is.

Jim tries to cover their tracks again but he can‘t put together a solid explanation, “I mean I can see how it would seem a bit like we uh... How it looks like um…” His words are again scattered and thoughts are incomplete as he scrambles for an excuse. The words he doesn’t speak actually help to clarify some of Jim’s thoughts. Jim isn’t able to complete his statements because he isn’t sure how to define the relationship. Each time he trails of or pauses, it's at a point where he’d have to insert an indicator of relationship status. He hasn’t really thought about where he and Pam stand from an official standpoint. In actuality, it’s something he can’t or even won’t do in order to maintain the bubble. This is symbolic of his inability to take the lead in the relationship. 

Just as Pam drove him home the day before, she is in the driver’s seat in the relationship until he finds his bearings. He takes a long pause after he says, “How it looks like um . . . “ He is thinking long and hard about what he sees on the television screen. Everything between him and Pam is suddenly very real, (and visible) and he wants to protect the bubble even more. He doesn’t want the camera crew to horn in on his alone time with Pam. He needs this time to figure out his feelings without the camera’s watching. Admitting the true nature of the relationship should be an easy task, but for Jim it’s not. Defining the relationship means he has to let go of some of his fears, regarding his emotions. It’ll force him to emerge from the euphoria and deal with emotional honesty. He’s still a little skittish about expressing his emotions, so avoiding a definition is quite natural for him.

In the bubble, Jim has a found a place to let some of his feelings roam, but he’s careful about which emotions he releases. Right now, he’s letting his “crush” manifest, but the deep emotions he let out on CN are still being held back until he feels safe enough to express them. As a result Jim turns his attention to finding a way to keep the bubble intact by offering his best attempt at hiding the truth, “I mean nowadays you can edit anything, right? I mean you can edit anything to look like um... Anything” Halfway through his explanation he feels like an idiot. He knows how ridiculous it sounds as it leaves his lips. He looks at Pam to non-verbally beg her to jump in at any time and help him out. He’s drowning here and needs Pam’s help. She obliges but falls short, “Yeah, I gave him a ride home because. . . “ He looks at her expectantly, hoping she can save the sinking ship. He backs her up with a hopeful, “Right.” He keeps his eyes on her as she pauses still hopeful she’ll come up with something.

To his utter shock she blurts, “We’re dating.” He is absolutely floored by her spilling the truth, but also at the fact that she defined their relationship. He didn’t expect her to drop the ball and it takes him a moment to fully register her statement. On top of that, FNB continues to surprise him. She pulled the rug out from under him and he never saw it coming. He looks away from her and almost tries to shake some sense into his head. Realizing Pam has given him no choice but to own up to the truth, he looks at the camera and says, “Wow, there it is.” It’s the first time he’s hear it loud or even fully acknowledge the reality of their relationship to himself. His reaction is really indicative of the notion that they have not talked about their relationship or their feelings. They have both just been going with the flow without stopping to long enough to assess where they stand. The euphoria felt too good to stop!

A smile creeps across his face as he can’t hold it in anymore. Pam picks up the baton and continues, “Yeah, we haven’t told anyone yet.” As he continues to smile and stare at her, the information is processing. All of the sudden it hits him: I am dating Pam Beesly. He laughs slightly in disbelief at his own reality as he tries to obscure a lovesick smile with his hand. A new bubble has formed in place of the previous where he is living out his long held fantasy of actually dating Pam. It’s real and it’s glorious. He is once again just with her, even with the camera watching. It doesn’t matter anymore that the camera crew knows.

A fresh batch of euphoria has taken over Jim. His face becomes flushed and his hand continues to cover his mouth as he tries to control the effects of his fantasy coming true. He’s actually a little embarrassed at his inability to control his reaction. His eyes drift to another part of the room as he tries to figure out what to do with this new reality beyond letting it give him a case of the giddies. It’s no use as the smile under his hand refuses to be subdued. He is elated and it’s absolutely intoxicating.

Pam surprises Jim again by saying, “It’s going really great.” Despite his being thrilled at the reality of dating Pam, there is a small amount of uncertainty given the fact that Jim still hasn’t fully internalized the magnitude of a defined relationship with Pam. His face reads, I guess so. He knows he feels good when he’s around her, but he isn’t ready to admit it’s because he loves with her. It’s another indicator they haven’t talked about how or where their relationship is going. The lack of this conversation is what creates uncertainty on both sides. He doesn’t know what she’s thinking and she doesn’t know what he’s thinking. This moment is the first time they’ve discussed the elephant in the room. He can’t help but agree with her by echoing her statement. Part of him also knows Pam needs the reassurance, but he genuinely agrees it really is going great. He is right back in the bubble with the girl he’s always wanted.

As whole the scene shows that Jim has the lead in the escape route or bubble aspect of JAM’s relationship. He is the first that spoke up after the tape played in order to keep the bubble intact. JAM needs the bubble right now, especially Jim. He needs some time to just get lost in Pam and figure out his feelings. Furthermore, Pam is the lead in the actual relationship. She is the one who defined the relationship when Jim wouldn’t. She is the driving force of JAM until Jim finds a way to unlock the feelings he is leery of allowing himself to express. Between his bubble and her courage they’ve struck a nice balance that will serve JAM well. Jim will keep them from moving too fast, while Pam will keep them from stalling.

Conference Room #3 - Giant Check:

Jim finds himself in the middle of another boring meeting as Michael plans further logistics of the fun run. As they discuss the distribution of funds Jim can’t help but see the lunacy of the debate over the giant check. With light sarcasm he puts his vote to getting the giant check just to end the conversation. Dwight’s protest about his money going towards the giant check rather than bat birth control stirs Jim’s annoyance further. He’s officially had enough of both Michael and Dwight’s lunacy. Based on Pam’s facial expression, he likely shared a glance with her carrying a non-verbal cue denoting his annoyance. She raises her eyebrows and smiles back, indicating they just shared inside humor for Michael and Dwight’s antics. It’s beyond reassuring to see JAM’s non-verbal communication continue to grow.

As the meeting wears on, concern arises over who will come to pick up the big check. Pam informs the group that a doctor will not come by to get a check for $500 (if they go with the big check), and neither will a nurse. Jim seizes the opportunity to craft the perfect prank. He sends another non-verbal signal to Pam to alert her he’s getting ready to play . She acknowledges his signal with a silent and slight smile. Just as humor has always connected them in the past, it’s working it’s magic once again. It’s something just between them. Jim proceeds to convince Michael and Dwight to hire a stripper by simply implying he’s seen ads for nurses that can be hired by the hour. It’s a classic Jim prank pulled off with perfection. It’s even better as Pam is there by his side to laugh with him.

Break Room #3 - After Pam Sees “It”:

As Pam freaks out about seeing a half naked Michael, Jim sits and listens. (Are those Dockers he’s wearing?? Please say it’s so! ) In a noticeable return as Pam’s go-to guy, Jim lets Pam say whatever she needs to say in order to feel better and calm down. He can see she has a little bit of a sense of humor about what happened, but he also knows she’s horrified. He tries to relax her with some humor by referring to Michael’s anatomy as a baguette. She responds with her own euphemism by calling it a “dangling participle.” Jim has obviously tapped into the right part of Pam’s psyche to help her calm down. Despite the distance and the newness of FNB, Jim still knows Pam. 

As Michael raps on the door, Jim smiles at Pam’s exaggerated “Come in.” He likes how Pam isn’t afraid to tease Michael or poke fun at what happened to her. Both Jim and Pam proceed to point out Michael’s mistake with light sarcasm, until Michael is flustered enough to say, “Besides my shirt tail covered most of it so…” Pam sparkles again as she jabs Michael with, “I didn’t see where it started, but I saw where it ended.” Jim is surprised, but he backs her up with his somewhat playful, “Gross,” (Of course, part of him really is grossed out). Michael continues to rant explaining that Pam’s artistic background should cause her to see him as a model. Jim can’t help but widen his eyes and share a non-verbal joke with Pam. She responds immediately as they lock eyes and laugh at Michael’s lunacy on the inside. In yet another great example of non-verbal communication, Jim is connecting with Pam via humor.

One of the more interesting aspects of this scene is the changing dynamic of Jim and Pam’s roles in relation to one other. Another very Season 2 characteristic of Jim is his role of supporting and taking care of Pam. Throughout Seasons 1 and 2, whenever Michael stepped over the line Jim was there to protect Pam. He shines in this role during this scene, but in a different way. His support status has changed in that he isn’t the one taking care of Pam. Pam is taking care of Pam. He is simply backing her up. He lets Pam do all the talking as she stands up for herself. He interjects only to reinforce her statements.

Holding Hands:

Jim and Pam are the last to make their way to the sidewalk as the rest of the runner have blasted ahead of them. Jim is wearing a glowing smile, most likely in response to the prospect of being able to spend time with Pam. Pam playfully replies, “Oh we're in last place.” Jim finds this utterly adorable and responds with equal sarcasm, “Oh, would you look at that.” Pam continues the joke with, “Darn it.” Jim loves the game they are playing as he knows full well Pam is just as thrilled as he is to be alone. The rear end of the field affords them enough privacy to be in their bubble with only each other. 

After thinking about it for a few moments, Jim tentatively reaches out for Pam’s hand. There’s a shyness about his reach as if he’ unsure of how Pam will respond. Holding her hand whenever he wants to is part of his long held system of fantasy. It’s a big deal to him. He’s always wanted to just hold her hand. It’s all part of the new bubble created in the conference room earlier in the day. He’s undoubtedly held her hand in the time they’ve spent together, but this time is different as their relationship is now defined. He is dating Pam Beesly and he wants to hold her hand to solidify that status. The euphoria of the concept is still swirling around him.

His initiation of the act speaks volumes of Jim’s desire to be with Pam. He may have some emotional blocks, but it doesn’t negate his need to be with her. He bumps her hand first, as a way to test the waters. Jim is still feeling out the boundaries of their relationship. He doesn’t know what is okay and what isn’t yet. He doesn’t know if Pam is a hand holder or not. His gaze is trained on the ground rather than on her, denoting further insecurity in his actions. In a sense, he’s putting more of his emotions on the line as he reaches out for her and it’s a little scary.

The moment she wraps her fingers around his, she anchors him. He is safely in the bubble where some of his emotions can roam freely while he figures out the rest. He holds onto her to find his way back to himself. He may be Old Jim on the outside with Pam, but he’s still working on the inside. Having Pam by his side is all he’s ever needed and he’s holding onto that dream.

Estate Sale:

Jim and Pam’s hands remain interlocked as they approach an estate sale. They are clearly in their own little world as they continue to lag behind the rest of the fun run group. Jim can’t resist the opportunity to stop and take a look. It’s something fun, that he knows Pam would love. However, it’s also another way to spend more time alone with Pam. No one they know is around and they can simply play and make a fun memory, “Ooo! An estate sale. Wanna go in?” He’s amused by Pam’s sarcastic response, “I don't know I'm really committed to winning,” as he knows he has pegged her perfectly for wanting to shop the estate sale.

To keep the playful banter going he says, “OK, but what if I told you all the money you spend here, goes to preventing a disease that's already been cured.” Jim wants to take them out of the race just for a little while. He wants something just between them and this little sale fulfills that desire. He again initiates a little escape, furthering his role of being in charge of the bubble. Her further sarcasm makes Jim smile as she is the only one who totally gets his humor and his motivations. After agreeing with him, she bounces along side him as they enter the house.

The camera later shows Jim and Pam leaving the estate sale with an interesting lamp. He is smiling as they exit because he is watching her describe her find to the camera. She loves the “designy and cool” look of the lamp. Jim isn’t big on the lamp, (his eye brows raised during her description) but he loves her for liking it. Pam then passes the lamp off to him to hold. Jim is a little thrown by her action, but he is thrilled. He responds playfully, “Oh, and I get to hold it.” It isn’t meant as a jab, but rather a warm tease. He turns his head back to the camera with a huge smile on his face. Holding things for a woman is a boyfriend duty and Jim is basking in yet another fit of euphoria.

Their relationship hasn't been designated as anything beyond dating, but Jim still loves the role Pam is giving him. He gets to fulfill this duty without just being her friend that wants “more than that.” He is actually able to do “couple” things with Pam and it’s thrilling. Jim has always loved taking care of Pam and holding the lamp gives him that opportunity even if on small scale. FNB is pretty self sufficient, causing Jim to readjust his role in taking care of her. The opportunity to hold the lamp for her is something he grabs onto happily.

As for the symbolic nature of the lamp hand off, see the PDS4!

Helping Michael:

Despite the annoying nature of Michael, neither Jim nor Pam can pass him by as they see him writhing on the ground from exhaustion. They have long held the role of taking care of Michael on both an individual basis and as a team effort. Jim is the first to jump in and motivate Michael to finish the race, “What are you doing here . . .did you come back for us?” It’s his way of building Michael’s confidence. Unfortunately, Michael’s has deteriorated past the point of Jim’s help. Michael proceeds to whine, “I can't finish. I feel so weak, I just…,” which annoys Jim to no end. He has very little tolerance for whiners. He sarcastically tells Michael he needs a drink of water but Michael is not responding to Jim’s teasing at all and begins to rant about various ridiculous problems he can’t fix.

Jim again relies on humor and teasing to fluster Michael and snap him out of his funk, “Wow. You are a downer. We’re having a pretty nice day.” Jim is talking to both Michael and Pam, but on different frequencies. For Michael, he’s trying to show him the positives of life to cheer him up. For Pam, he uses the word “we’re” to further acknowledge his new status with her. He is also looking for some reassurance. He wants to know if Pam had a nice day with him. He’s glad to hear her say, “I’m still having a nice day.” However, he needs one more little inkling of reassurance, “You are?” He’s a little playful in his tone, but his motivation remains the same. At this point, he’s pretty sure she had a good time, but he wanted to be certain. It’s important to him that she’s happy with him.

From here, Pam takes over caring for Michael and Jim steps back into his supportive role. FNB is once again stepping out on her own and doesn’t need him to do things for her anymore. Jim is still learning this new role as he watches FNB in awe. He offers support when she needs it, but he knows he must let her spread her wings. Although, Pam takes the primary lead in caring for Michael, it is still a team effort. Once Pam is able to convince Michael to finish the race, Jim reaches his hand down to help Michael off the ground. Even though he’s refused, it still stands that it was a team effort to take care of Michael. Taking care on their lunatic boss has always been a duty they shared and it oddly connected them in the past, just as it does now. The best part is they can laugh about it later and connect on an even deeper level.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) Is Jim too reliant on Pam?

2) What has Jim learned about himself since returning from New York?

3) How strong are Jim’s emotional barriers?

4) Is JAM moving too slow, too fast or just right?

As Jim settles into the reality of a pubic relationship with Pam, his insecurities rise as the bubble shrinks. Previously, his cherished bubble included only himself and Pam with no one else to intrude on their own little world. He had Pam all to himself along with a safe place to figure out his emotions. In Fun Run, things began to change as the bubble shrank to include to the camera crew. Just as Jim began to adjust to the bubble’s new barriers, he feels the bubble pop as the rest of the office learns of his relationship with Pam. The bubble is still intact, but Jim feels exposed and vulnerable. His insecurities concerning his emotions and the reaction of others begin to surface, making him more reliant on Pam to give him reassurance. Jim has lost control of the bubble, which makes him doubly reliant on Pam to show him the “magic” between them isn’t gone. He is still basking in the fantasy of being in a relationship with Pam, and he’s worried about the magic ending.

Putting his private life on display for his co-workers has never been a favorite past time for Jim. He prefers to stay under the radar and out of trouble. Now that everyone knows he’s with Pam, he knows his feelings for her are on display. This is a little terrifying for Jim, considering he has yet to sort through his feelings or reach a higher level of emotional honesty. He’s still holding in many of his deeper emotions until he feels safe enough to release them. He’s holding his heart in his hands protectively, not willing to simply give it away until he knows he can trust Pam completely. The fear of getting hurt is only amplified by the public status of his relationship. In Seasons 1 and 2, he at least had the veil of secrecy and privacy concerning his emotions to hide his pain both from public view and himself. Season 4 is a different story in that if his heart is broken again, everyone will know. The fear paradox has grown to include another element that only complicates Jim’s emotional blocks.

Jim may be battling with his own insecurities, but he’s never been happier. He is finding comfort in simply being himself. The exhaustion of being someone he’s not is gone as he continues to find his way back home. Jim is happy with his decision to return to Scranton and to take a chance with Pam. All he has left to do is work out the logistics. Between finding what makes him happy aside from Pam and re-discovering himself, he has a new relationship to navigate. Jim isn’t quite sure of his role in FNB’s life, but he is learning when to support her and when to back off. It’s a gray area that will only become clearer as communication grows stronger between them. The time-honored traditions of non-verbal communication and humor are once again serving as the foundation for JAM. Developing these lines of communication will lead to stronger and more honest verbal communication. Emotional honesty is still an issue between them as the elation of a new relationship has yet to settle. He has yet to give one of his patented “looks” in Pam’s direction. Those emotions are being capped right now until Jim finds the courage to let himself fully feel them again.

Break Room #1:

Jim walks into the break room to find Pam already bought him a soda. His is pleasantly surprised and again feels the warmth that radiates from her. It’s his favorite thing about Pam. On a side note, it’s so nice to see Jim back in his soda phase, as opposed to bottled water, (see The Merger analysis on the JPS3). Another piece of Old Jim is shining in all it’s glory. Even more symbolic, is Pam giving it to him. She is helped him find his way home and she continues to fulfill that role on multiple levels. Jim heads to the vending machine to get some chips and he asks Pam if she would like some as well. She refuses, but asks if they are still on for lunch. Jim finds her question very cute. It warms him to know she wants to spend time with him and is looking forward to a mundane lunch at work. He decides to tease her with a playful, “I guess.” In their own little language he’s telling her, Of course. He wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Her little smile causes him to grin in return. He’s always loved to make her smile. She turns to leave and he redirects his attention to the vending machine to contemplate a chip decision. However, FNB has other ideas as she surprises him with a kiss on the cheek. Jim spins around in total surprise, but his face is splashed with elation and a big dorky grin. This new Pam is full of surprises and he’s happy to be the victim of her actions. For years, he dreamed of little moments like this and now they are really happening. He can’t resist the urge to flirt in return as he playfully says, “How dare you?” As far as he’s concerned she can give him little kisses all day and he’s daring her to do it again soon. He feels her gracing the edge of the bubble with PDA at work, but the thrill of her touch and the moment overrides his worries. Pam gives him a fetching grin over her shoulder and Jim melts, likely feeling weak in his knees. The euphoria of Pam looking at him like that fills his soul.

The Secret is Out:

Jim reads over a memo Toby sent out to the entire staff regarding PDA in the workplace. He looks over at Pam, who meets him with a matching expression of confusion. Jim sends her a non-verbal cue, “It couldn’t be us.” He’s confident that they’ve kept their secret well hidden and is therefore not worried. Michael enters the picture soon after and, of course, overreacts to Toby’s memo. After a hushed discussion, Toby alerts the staff that the memo is in regards to Jim and Pam. The camera immediately pans over to a stunned Jim. He looks up as he feels the heat of everyone’s eyes on him. The bubble has popped. He fills his cheeks with air, almost hoping to go back in time and to re-inflate the bubble. His mind can only conjure up one word: Crap.

A shocked Michael spins around saying, “No way,” followed by Phyllis putting forth the dreaded query, “You guys are together?” It briefly occurs to him to try and wiggle out of the spotlight, but he realizes he is pinned into a corner with absolutely nowhere to go. Lying isn’t an option due to his pinned status and Jim’s own sense of right and wrong. Reluctantly, he says, “Ummm . . . Yeeeep. Yes we are.” His hesitance is amplified by his gravelly voice. He may have to tell his secret, but he’s not going to shout it at the top of his voice. Letting all these people into his little world with Pam was not on the agenda for today. He can’t feel the bubble anymore, as everyone has crowded in his quiet littler corner of the world where Pam waits for him. While Pam is glowing in response to the exposure, Jim sits quietly at his desk, waiting for the spotlight to dim.

Michael’s antics only make things worse as he insists on bringing both Jim and Pam center stage. Michael asks Jim to stand next to him and Pam, but Jim stays in his chair and rolls over to Michael reluctantly. Michael only makes things worse by giving a little speech, “Today is the day that Jim and Pam become one.” Hoping to tone down Michael’s dramatics, Jim says, “Actually we’ve been dating for a couple months.” Unfortunately, Michael is oblivious and encloses Jim with a big hug. Jim is beyond embarrassed as he tries to fend off Michael’s affection. This kind of attention is the last thing Jim wants in general, much less in regards to his relationship with Pam. He wants his time with Pam to be his, not Michael’s or anyone else’s. Making the relationship public makes Jim feel like his emotions are on public display and that makes him very uncomfortable. 

This is not a new characteristic as Jim has always been a very private person. He is a friendly and affable guy to his co-workers, but he’s also very guarded. His love life and personal emotions rarely come up in conversation, with exception of a couple times with Michael. Furthermore, he hasn’t even sorted through all of his emotions yet. It’s a work of art he has yet to fully unveil to himself or to Pam. This is something he wanted to do in private and now everybody is watching. Much like his resistance to put the relationship out in the open, he isn’t ready for his emotions to be outed. 

This unwanted new element causes Jim to worry about losing the euphoric aspect of the relationship. Now that it’s public, he fears the relationship is going to change. He’s spent the last couple of months floating and now he is being pulled down to reality. He’s lived happily in his fantasy where a relationship with Pam still feels like a dream. He knows his relationship with her is real, but making it public brings all his fears and insecurities to the surface. He can’t find the bubble.

With Toby:

Jim joins Pam in Toby’s cubicle to take the next step in making their relationship public and official. For the first time, Jim takes a small lead in the relationship by asking Toby, “So now that we are dating, uh, we just wanted to know if we had to sign one of those 'we're dating' things for the company.” Taking the lead in this instance shows Jim is beginning to build more confidence in the relationship. However, he’s still reluctant to ask Toby for the paperwork. The discomfort stemming from their secret being revealed is still weighing heavy on Jim. Everything is moving a little too fast for him and he wants to slow down.

This insecurity isn’t stemming so much from the relationship itself, but rather his worry about how other people are perceiving his relationship with Pam. He just isn't ready for the relationship to go public. As mentioned above, making his feelings public is not something Jim is ready to do quite yet. Rather, he would’ve like to sort through everything swirling through his head first and then go public in his own time. Jim’s discomfort may be an issue, but it’s not detracting from his overwhelming sense of happiness that he is with Pam. His tone may have denoted uneasiness, but the rest of him is still euphoric with the knowledge the he and Pam are together. Even as he approaches Toby he is wearing a smile, despite the task at hand. This is what makes Toby’s response to Jim’s request all the more jarring. Instead of accepting the happy couple Toby is hesitant, “Oh well, you know, those were only for, you know relationships, so... if, if this is just a casual thing, there's no need, really.” Jim responds with a confused “Oh.” He wasn’t expecting this and he’s not sure what to say next.

He knows the relationship is more than casual, but he isn’t sure how to define the relationship beyond dating. It’s something he and Pam haven’t discussed in great detail. Both are caught up in living their relationship, rather that verbally defining it. JAM is happily in the honeymoon period where definitions are not contemplated. Obviously, Toby didn’t accept his earlier definition of “dating” and Jim is now looking towards Pam to take the reins. This is her realm and she’s done a fabulous job thus far in a role he can’t yet fulfill. Trusting her with the relationship is the first step to trusting her with his heart. As Pam looks up at him searching for permission to take over he gives her a warm and trusting grin. She picks up on the non-verbal cue immediately, “Well, I don't want to speak for Jim, but, it's like pretty official.” He is surprised, yet happy with Pam’s designation. 

Jim knows Pam is elevating their relationship to an exclusive status officially, rather than having it simply based on assumption and action. His eyebrows rise in both acknowledgement and a silent, Wow. I guess that’s where we are. Pam’s elevated status for the relationship bolsters Jim’s confidence a little bit more. Hearing her say it makes it very real to Jim. His head is spinning with both euphoria and his hidden insecurities. Toby’s hesitance again plays out as he utters, “Uh-huh” in response to Pam’s declaration. Jim is a little thrown by this, but his confidence level is high enough to be able to retake the lead and ask Toby for the paperwork again, “Sorry, uh do we need to sign one, or...?” His voice cracks a little bit because he remains nervous in talking about his relationship with someone outside the now defunct bubble. He doesn’t like the continuing scrutiny and prodding into his private life. Furthermore, Toby’s hesitance is puzzling. Just when Jim has managed to find some confidence, Toby manages to shadow it with further hesitation. 

Instead of handing over the paperwork, Toby resists, “Let's just wait and see what happens. You know?” The moment the words fly out of Toby’s mouth, Jim is overwhelmed with a wave of insecurity. He utters a defensive, “What?” as if saying, Excuse me? Every doubt and fear Jim has is awakened as Toby questions the validity and strength of his relationship. The confidence he had built up basically shut down and Jim is back to the state of needing almost constant reassurance that his heart is safe with Pam. He knows he’s happy with her and he allows his surface emotions to flow freely, but he isn’t sure if he can release his deeper emotions or surrender his heart completely. Toby brought all of that back up to the forefront of Jim's thoughts by insinuating their relationship may not last. 

Toby does his best to save face, knowing full well he let too much slip by shortening his previous statement to a simple, “Let’s just wait.” Jim takes advantage of Toby’s dismissive tone and says, “Oh, okay,” in a noticeably more chipper tone. Jim is happy to be cut loose from the situation, but he walks away bothered and little baffled by Toby’s behavior. His confidence is a little shaken, which will later send him to Pam looking for reassurance.

As mentioned in the PDS4, this scene is dripping in symbolism. In addition to Toby representing the eventual hurdles JAM will have to face, he also personifies Jim’s emotional blocks. While Jim is euphoric in his relationship with Pam, part of him is holding back his deeper emotions. He’s loved Pam for years and paid the ultimate price of a broken heart. Although that love never died, Jim hasn’t been able to allow it to totally surface since CN. That pain of that evening has made Jim leery of giving anyone his heart until he feels safe. Toby’s statement, “Let’s just wait and see what happens” characterizes Jim’s current behavior pattern perfectly. While he’s basking in the joy of being with Pam, his heart is in the waiting room wondering if it’s safe to come out. He’s not sure he can trust Pam won’t hurt him again. Therefore, there is a hesitance to love her with everything he has until Pam gives Jim the reassurances he needs.

Break Room #2 - Lunch:

In the break room, Jim joins Pam for a promised lunch. Still looking to rebuild the bubble, he opts to tell Pam a secret he know she’d want to hear. The subject of Dwight and Angela has been a subject between them before, (E-Mail Surveillance) and is perfect for re-establishing the border of their punctured little world. It’ll just be their secret, just between them. Jim may be working on a relationship with Pam, but he is also rebuilding the friendship he shared with her before he left last year. Jim almost feels the bubble reforming around them as he tells Pam Dwight and Angela have been dating for six months. He even adds the phrase, “Oh my God, this will make your brain explode,” as a way to remind her and himself how well he knows her. He misreads Pam’s smile as disbelief, which in turn brings a wide grin to his face. He wants to make her happy and figures he’s just made her day, “Aww this is great. I was actually going to wait and tell you on your birthday, but this is much more fun.” He is beaming in satisfaction, until Pam corrects him, “No, they have been dating for like two years. Since before your barbeque.” His smile fades into confusion as Pam reveals she is full of secrets herself.

He is shocked Pam not only knows, but knows more than him. He stares at her for a moment completely dumbfounded, “Wait . . . What?” Jim is shocked at Dwangela’s extended history, but his shock is directed at Pam as well. He thought he knew her so well, (which he does), but this girl is full of surprises. There is a lot about FNB he doesn’t know. It’s here that Jim feels the impact of his self-imposed absence last year. There are huge gaps in their relationship that have yet to be filled. Still shocked he says, “You knew. And you didn’t say anything?” He’s almost asking her why she kept it from him, even though deep down he knows why. She fires right back, “You didn’t say anything to me.” Jim immediately knows he is beaten with Pam’s logic, “Fair enough.” He knows the gaps in their relationship are the result of his absence. He didn’t tell her because he was avoiding her and she didn’t tell him because he was avoiding her. Between Stamford and his sky high wall, communication was only on minimal levels, least of all on a topic such as Dwangela. His “fair enough” is his acknowledgment of the communication gap. However, he chooses not to dwell on it. Instead, he focuses on the new lines of communication that are being created. He feels closer to her after both of them revealed a secret.

Even though it was something as ridiculous as Dwangela, they are sharing stories and laughing together. This is the bubble Jim needs and he is slowly finding it again. He can’t help but smile and glow again as he says, “Wow. We should have started dating a long time ago.” Jim knows he should have come back a long time ago. It could’ve been this good long before just a couple of months ago. What’s more, he’s known they should’ve been together all along. As Pam smiles he is comforted by her agreement. His observation has a warm tone, but he’s also showing his sense of humor. He’s poking fun at the past as away to overcome it.

Mistakes were made on both sides, but now is what matters. There is much to learn about himself and Pam and he’s going to do it with a smile whenever possible. Building trust and communication has to be the number one priority for JAM. The past is a painful place for Jim and he’s doing his best to put it behind him in order to get over his emotional blocks. It’s a slow process, but it’s encouraging to see him make strides in the right direction.

Before Jim and Pam can discuss Dwight and Angela any further, Phyllis makes her way into the break room. She apologizes for interrupting them and Jim tells her, “Oh no, we're just sitting here,” in a friendly and welcoming tone. “I didn’t see your hands.” Jim is both horrified and amused. He can’t believe sweet Phyllis would say such a thing! However, he can find the humor as he looks at the camera and slightly waves his hands in plain view. Phyllis goes onto to tell Pam that all sales calls have to be randomly assigned, “You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week, OK?” Jim’s wide eyes are paired with an embarrassed and stunned expression. To think that anyone would think that he or Pam was capable of such of thing is beyond his comprehension. The word, “Wow.” is likely playing over and over in his mind.

All he can do is smile a bewildered smile as Pam handles Phyllis with FNB style and grace. He doesn’t say a word and simply lets Pam handle herself. This is a role he’s learning as FNB takes care of herself with more frequency. Besides, he is at a complete loss on what to say to Phyllis. He echoes Pam’s response of “Okay,” with nervous fidgets and a still shocked expression. Phyllis may have apologized for interrupting their lunch, but Jim can’t let go of the discomfort emanating from her intrusion on their overall privacy. She touched upon a very personal subject and Jim isn’t ready or willing to entertain discussion on that part of their relationship in public. The bubble may have been partially recreated, but it’s clearly not offering the protection Jim needs at this point.

Talking Head #1:

Jim solidifies his need for a bubble as he states, “And, that is why we waited so long to tell people,” with his trademark annoyed sarcasm. Jim is still recovering from Phyllis’s invasion into the bubble. The word “we” might as well be replaced with “I.” He’s the one that wanted to keep it a secret. Jim has been the lead in the bubble department up to this point and he’s still trying to re-inflate the shrinking bubble. He wants his time with Pam to be free from people passing judgment on her (especially her) and himself. Being the subject of office gossip and prying eyes is not something Jim wants to deal as he tries to build a relationship with Pam. The euphoria Pam is feeling from the relationship going public is not felt by Jim.

His insecurities are again bubbling to the surface as he is not ready to have his emotions out in the open. His euphoria is rooted more so in the magic of the bubble rather than the relationship. This isn’t to say Jim isn’t ecstatic for the relationship. He is beyond thrilled. However, he is very reliant on the bubble to keep the relationship special, exciting and of course private. He can’t see where the real excitement and magic is hiding until Pam shows him.

Conference Room - Ageism:

An appearance by Robert Dunder at Michael’s ageism seminar, gives Jim another reason to question Michael’s sanity. After practically shoving the elderly man out of conference room, Michael leaves him standing in the outer office alone and with no ride home. Jim is appalled with Michael’s actions and readily jumps to support Pam as she says, “I think that I should help him get home.” After Michael refuses her request, Jim nudges Pam and urges her non-verbally with a nod to go and help Mr. Dunder. In this instance, Jim is certain Pam needs him to support her. This is a good sign that Jim is beginning to read Pam with more accuracy and assess his role in her life. He’s letting her know he’ll handle Michael while she’s off doing the right thing. Pam’s compassion and warm heart is a big reason why he loves her. He’s going to do everything he can to allow Pam to be herself, despite Michael’s stupidity. Besides, it’s the morally correct course of action. Jim and Pam are of like mind when it comes to other people. Both are willing to take care of others. Even though they are directing their attention to Mr. Dunder, they are again a team in looking after Michael. In this instance, they are a team in fixing Michael’s mistakes. He’s an idiot, but they do care about him.

Magic:

After feeling the weight of revealed secrets, invaded privacy, and heightened insecurity, Jim is desperate to find the bubble he needs. He knows Pam is the only one that can show him the way. Jim wanders over to Pam’s desk and goes for his favorite excuse to talk to Pam: jellybeans, (let me just say I squealed the second I heard the candy dish rattle -- Our Jim is coming back piece by piece). With communication lines still on the mend, Jim approaches Pam with humor. It’s the only way he knows to deal with difficult situations and his emotions at this point. Humor is a special language he shares with Pam that allows him to communicate with a safety net. Emotional honesty is veiled, but not totally blocked.

After popping a jellybean in his mouth he pretends to walk away, but quickly does an about face to ask her a serious question masked in playful banter, “Alright I just have to ask now that we're public, um, is the magic gone?” He is dead serious in his concerns, but he’s careful to keep his tone light and slightly sarcastic. He knows Pam will understand his message and his very real need for reassurance. When his words are decoded, he is simply asking her, Are we okay? He doesn’t feel the bubble, which is making him feel very vulnerable in both the relationship and with his emotions. He wants the bubble back where they are alone. As mentioned before, Jim felt the magic in the bubble and he needs Pam to show him where it’s hiding.

As he hoped, Pam understood everything he didn’t say. She responded in his language loud and clear, “It's funny you bring that up because yes it is.” Her playful and sarcastic tone retains a warmth that speaks right to Jim’s heart. In just a few words, she showed him the bubble never really went away. Humor and sarcasm is their language and is just between them. Her warm and loving expression adds non-verbal communication to the pile of reasons why Jim has nothing to worry about. And just like that he feels the security of the bubble encapsulating them at her desk. He needed the reminder that they’ve always had their own little world, complete with a native language. No matter how many times their co-workers pry or hurdles cloud their path, they will always have each other.

Jim feels a surge of new confidence and decides to continue the joke with her, “I knew it. Oh man, just like that huh?” He likes the feeling of the restored bubble and he just can’t resist staying there a little longer. She is more than happy to play along, “I think... I mean, I don't know what it is but…” She is playing her part perfectly and Jim is eating it up. Her feigned disinterest tells him her focus in entirely on him. He keeps the game going by telling her, “Be honest.” This is a nice bit of foreshadowing (hopefully) in that emotional honesty is on it’s way as an issue for JAM to address. Right now they are sideswiping the issue as they explore their relationship, but deeper emotions are on the horizon. Humorous communication is the stepping stone that leads to deeper communication, (the communication pattern in Season 2 is proof enough of this concept!).

Pam responds with pitch perfect comedic timing, “I now find you repulsive.” Pam’s playful and sparkling eyes leave Jim totally enamored. However, he won’t break the joke, “That's honest. All right, fair enough.” He knows Pam means the opposite and finds load of reassurance that she only has eyes for him. She’s not going anywhere. He turns to walk away again, but doesn’t get very far. He wants to play a little bit more and get one more little shot of reassurance, “It was really fun while it lasted though, wasn't it?” Jim is acknowledging that keeping the relationship a secret was fun and exciting, but he realizes that part of their relationship is over. He needs Pam to show him where the new excitement is hiding. In keeping with humor as the main communicator, Pam gives a flippant, “Ehhhh.” This is her way of telling him the best is yet to come. This is music to Jim’s ears as he responds with another shot of sarcasm, “For me, it was.” With Pam’s reassurance, Jim is letting Pam know he understands the real magic isn’t in the secret or the bubble itself. It’s in the relationship. She gives a playful, “Okay,” in response, causing him to step back and head to his desk with a glowing smile. 

Pam told him everything he needed to hear. She gave him confidence in the relationship, which helps to build trust between them. Jim walked away from Pam knowing the relationship has left the dream stage and entered into a much more realistic phase that Jim can embrace with less fear. It’s more exciting than the secret could have ever offered. He is getting closer to Pam and is even beginning to trust her. It’s quite a rush.

Kitchen - Awesome Lessons:

Jim sits quietly at the kitchen table reading his newspaper as Ryan brags about his New York adventures to Kevin and Andy. Jim looks up from his newspaper just long enough to lose interest. He’s not impressed with Ryan or his adventures in New York. Ryan’s arrogance and condescending persona bothers Jim to the core. He doesn’t like how Ryan throws his new lifestyle around to impress others. After Ryan takes his leave, Kevin asks, “How awesome is Ryan now?” Jim couldn’t disagree more, but he bites his tongue the best he can, “Yeah, he's definitely something.” He’s not impressed with the new Ryan, but is careful about he talks about him. He is the boss after all. Kevin catches on immediately and calls Jim on his sarcasm, “What’s that supposed to mean.”

Jim is careful about giving opinion, “That whole lifestyle, his whole vibe, you find that appealing?” Jim knows what he’s talking about. He stood at the threshold of Ryan’s lifestyle just a few months ago. He found out it wasn’t for him, instead finding his place back in Scranton. Jim simply doesn’t get the fascination with New York. He tried it and even liked it a little bit, but he was smart enough to realize it wasn’t for him. As Andy and Kevin chastise Jim for not finding Ryan “awesome,” he can’t help but steal a few glances at the camera. Andy and Kevin’s fascination with Ryan makes no sense to him at all. All the reasons they give mean nothing to Jim. It’s all so ridiculous. As the Ryan worshipers leave, Jim is beyond confident in his decision to come home. The decision he made the day of his interview in The Job was the best decision he ever made.

Ryan’s Opportunity:

Jim overhears Ryan offer Pam and opportunity to design a logo for the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website. He stops working and looks over to her desk as Ryan discusses what he needs (look closely for the reflection in the glass of Michael’s office -- his head moves) Pam to create. As the camera pans over to his face, he is so excited for Pam. He sends her a huge non-vebal congratulations. He is just so happy for her. He’s always believed in her abilities and loves seeing her get an opportunity to chase her dream. He initiates an air high five as another way to show his support and offer more congratulations. His face is beaming with pride, “Way to go Beesly.”

Ryan Asks Pam Out:

Jim gets another earful as he listens to Ryan’s praise of Pam’s artwork shift to an ulterior motive of asking her out on a date. Jim is irritated to say the least. Not so much at the fact that Ryan is asking Pam out, but that he used her artistic endeavors as a means to get to her. Jim sits silently at his desk, knowing full well that Pam can take care of herself in this situation. Furthermore, Ryan is the boss and there isn’t much action he can take without crossing a very fine line. Aside from that, he has enough confidence and faith in her as a result of the “magic” scene. He’s not jealous or worried. Ryan’s slimy pickup doesn’t concern him nearly as much as it amuses and annoys him. He knows Pam is going to shoot Ryan down and he’s just waiting for the moment. Ryan’s arrogance needs to knocked down a few notches and FNB is the girl to do it.

Pam lets Ryan down easy, but it doesn’t take away from Jim’s satisfaction. The camera pans over as Jim grins impishly and gives a small wave in Ryan’s direction without even looking up. He is brimming with reassurance in his own relationship (it felt good to hear Pam say it again), along with the added bonus of gratification from contributing to Ryan’s humiliation. The little twerp had it coming, (no offense to Ryan lovers - but he really irked me in this scene!). As Ryan walks past, Jim's eyes grow as big as saucers. He can’t believe what just happened. One word comes to mind: Awk-ward.

Talking Head #2:

Jim’s confidence plays all over his face during his last talking head. He is still filled with satisfaction at Ryan’s failed attempt to ask Pam out, “I guess he can't get any girl he wants.” Jim’s eyes twinkle as he smiles to himself. Ryan’s arrogance and fast paced lifestyle can’t get him everything. Jim knows he has the biggest prize of all with Pam. He’s been to he11 and back and knows how lucky he is to be with her. The euphoria has returned as Jim clings confidently to the relationship he has with Pam. He is with Pam. That’s right, he is with Pam. The bubble she recreated with a side of reassurance has given Jim temporary reprieve from some of his insecurities. They are bound to return, but Pam has given him a safe place to alone with her while he sorts through the mess of his emotions and fears.

The Bottom Line:

Jim is confident in Pam and the relationship, but it's all very fragile. Emotional blocks, trust issues, and fear will continue to hold him back. Total emotional honesty has yet to make an appearance as Jim will only release “crush” like emotions for Pam. His deeper love remains hidden until his heart feels safe. I’m holding my breath until I see one of Jim’s famous “looks” directed at Pam. Once his deeper emotions start playing across his face, we’ll know the blocks are beginning to crumble.

Questions to Ponder:

1) Does Jim realize his reliance on Pam? How does his awareness or lack thereof impact JAM?

2) Are Jim’s emotional blocks voluntary or involuntary? Is he aware they are in place?

3) What is JAM’s greatest strength thus far? Weakness?

After spending all of last season watching Jim run further and further away from himself, it’s truly amazing to see him find his way home a little bit more everyday. Pieces of Old Jim continue to fall into place as Jim resumes his carefree pattern of pranking Dwight, doting on Pam and finding joy in the simplest of activities. The man who ran from the past and hid from his feelings is finally beginning to venture out from behind the barriers that block his heart. Granted, he’s just peeking over the side, but he’s getting curious and gaining more trust in Pam. Undoubtedly, the growth of communication has a role in this as humor based and non-verbal modes of communication continue to be re-established.

Part of what makes Jim so interesting in Launch Party is his willingness to bring the past into the bubble. This started last week in DMI as he discussed Dwangela with Pam and humor based communication was reinstated. Even though Jim knows the pain of the past is long behind him, it still keeps his heart on a leash. The pain may not hurt anymore, but he still fears the possibility of getting hurt again. Despite his fears, Jim is allowing himself to begin to embrace the past rather than run from it at full speed. This process began back in The Job when he made the choice to come home. Pam’s yogurt lid memo in The Job helped Jim to realize the past doesn’t necessarily have to hurt. It’s good to see he’s continuing the process of truly coming back by letting the past become part of him again.

Jim’s actions of pranking Dwight and the rooftop date not only bring the past into the bubble, but they help keep the bubble intact. He creates opportunities to be with Pam in their own little world via humor and little moments. Pranking has traditionally been a connecting factor for JAM and the rooftop is a special place just between then. Jim continues to showcase his lead in maintaining the bubble and it appears he takes this role even more seriously since their secret was outed. Mainly because, the bubble continues to give Jim a safe haven where he can learn to trust Pam and explore his feelings. These concepts come alive as Jim surprisingly finds the courage to talk about the past in terms of emotions. Granted, it didn’t get any further than “like,” but he is starting to feel safe enough to let some of his feelings come out for a test drive.

Hesitance and insecurity still override total emotional honesty. However, Pam is working pure magic on Jim’s fears by offering him the reassurance he needs. The process is slow as Jim is still very reliant on Pam to take the lead in the relationship and assure him he is safe. Despite all of Jim’s progress, total emotional honesty has yet to come to fruition. The most serious and deepest emotions are still locked up tight. Jim’s patented “look” continues it’s long drought as Jim isn’t ready to let those emotions come anywhere near the surface.

Conference Room/Talking Head:

Jim sits comfortably behind Pam, all too happy to have her so near. He’s stuck in yet another meeting with Michael droning on about something completely pointless. However, Jim is completely hypnotized and entertained by the DVD Video box as it bounces across the television screen. He is not alone as everyone else in the room has the same viewing goal of seeing the box hit the corner of the screen. After watching it miss several times over, it appears to be on the right track to nuzzle right into a corner, but at the last second it misses. As Jim watches the box come close to a corner he leans further out onto the table in anticipation, while also moving closer to Pam. Unfortunately, the box misses again Jim’s head falls out of playful frustration. He looks over to Pam, clearly dismayed by the box failing to find the corner again, but there is more to his eye contact with Pam.

Jim fills in the background of the DVD Video box saga by explaining the fascination and borderline obsession of seeing the box actually go into the corner of the screen. It’s a dumb distraction, but nonetheless fun and mindless. Plus, it beats listening to Michael and his storm cloud idea. Jim’s eyes widen with playful frustration at the stubborn little box’s refusal to find the corner. The bouncing box is really a very cute representation of the odyssey Jim and Pam have gone through over the last few years. They bounced hopelessly off borders of their lives never seeming to find the comfort of just being together. They just kept missing the “corner” with bad timing and aimless wandering from the truth. Jim goes on to say that “we’ve all been dying to see it go right into the corner.” No kidding. Everyone has been waiting forever for JAM.

As for the real cube, it’s journey to the corner is an office wide phenomenon, but Jim still has a bubble moment with Pam when it comes to the video box. He tells the camera, “Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.” It’s apparent they have a longstanding, yet playful argument over whether or not Pam saw the cube hit the corner. It’s a fun and flirtatious joke that is just between them. He breaks out into a smile and covers it with his hand. His “crush” feelings for Pam are again escaping their confines as they play across his face. He finds her and her claim absolutely adorable. He slightly chuckles as he gives a sarcastic “Okay” to indicate his stance in the argument.

He'd let her win in an instant, but he’s having to much fun teasing her. Plus, her insistence is so adorable he could watch her argue her side all day long. Jim’s dreamy expression in this scene is highly reminiscent of his face from a talking head in The Alliance. After Pam’s well played addition to his prank on Dwight, he can’t help himself when he says, “She’s so great.” His facial expression and body language are identical. Jim is obviously falling back into his old habits as some of his old feelings for Pam are beginning to find their way out into the open. The shift towards letting elements of the past into the bubble only grows as the episode progresses to the heights of the rooftop.

Back in the conference room, the bouncing cube continues to evade the corner much to the dismay of Jim and everyone else. Just when all hope is lost, the cube falls onto a track that will seemingly take it right into the upper left hand corner of the screen. Jim’s anticipation skyrockets as the video box gets closer and closer to the corner. He whispers to Pam, “Wait for it,” with heavy anticipation. He holds onto her arm as he waits for the video box to finally drift into the corner.

As if the video box isn’t exciting enough, Jim’s very public touch on Pam’s arm is something amazing in and of itself. It’s only a slight form of PDA, but Jim has no problem being so close to Pam in public setting. Touching her feels like home and is very comfortable. Plus, he wants to share the excitement of the moment with her. The cube may be something everyone in the room is interested in, but Jim is only connected to Pam at this moment. In another subtle piece of symbolism, Jim is holding onto Pam to anchor him as they navigate their way into the "corner." Issues of trust and emotional honesty still cause hesitation. Jim is counting on Pam to show him the way.

Pranking Dwight:

Jim sits as his desk as Dwight and Andy prepare to do battle with the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website. His nerves are already on edge from his earlier encounter with the two of them. He had fun mocking Andy, but Dwight’s obnoxious response of instructing Andy to get a air horn from his trunk triggered Jim’s irritation. The lunacy of Andy and Dwight only intensifies as the launch of the website approaches. Dwight, in particular, is getting on Jim’s nerves as he squeezes Power Gel into his mouth straight from the wrapper. Jim is sufficiently grossed out and sarcastically mocks Dwight, “Really? Power gel?” Dwight obnoxiously responds, “Hey, you wanna win? You gotta fuel like a winner.” Jim is not impressed and more annoyed.

The last straw comes as Dwight throws his used Power Gel wrapper onto Jim’s desk. He looks up at the camera with a mix of frustration, aggravation, and annoyance all wrapped into one expression. He’s had enough as he uses as few fingers as possible to pick up the wrapper and throw it out. Needless to say he’s done dealing with Dwight’s antics. He stands up from his desk and heads over to the one person he knows will understand his need to get back at Dwight. Once he reaches Pam’s desk he wastes no time asking, “What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight and at the same time not be working?” His tone is playful but very confident that Pam will go along with his proposal. She is always on board for a prank on Dwight. Her reluctant expression surprises him and he utters a disappointed, “What?” It’s not like her to resist a prank.

As he speaks, he’s pleading with her to change her mind. It won’t be any fun without her. She explains her reason for refusing, “He’s going through a break up.” Jim can understand Pam’s point of view and even agrees with her to a certain extent, but his nerves are riled past the point of no return. He doesn’t give up and tries to convince her to join him one more time, “Yeah, I'm aware of that. But he's also being super annoying. And I'm not a perfect person.” Jim does feel bad for Dwight. If anyone knows the pain of a broken heart, it’s Jim. However, Dwight’s antics have worn a hole through Jim’s sympathies. Jim needs to keep Dwight distracted enough to tone down his obnoxious antics. 

Jim has no intention of doing anything mean-spirited (as he is never really mean to Dwight), but he does want to put him in his place, while also getting a little laugh to calm his own aggravation. Pranking is fun for Jim, but it’s also an outlet. He sees her smile at his argument, but Dwight’s air horn going off in the background is all she needs to change her mind. Both jump at the screaming sound as it pounds into their ears. Jim shoots another annoyed glance at the camera signifying yet a higher level of exasperation. Pam’s expression has since shifted from sympathy to annoyance. Her voice is like music to his ears, “What kind of prank are you thinking?” The gears of his brain start turning to formulate the perfect prank.

Jim starts phase one of the prank by standing at Pam’s desk with a folder in his hand to give the impression that he’s working. Dwight’s computer suddenly dings with an IM, “Who Am I?” Dwight is confused and sends a message back, “You tell me.” Jim knows this is the crucial moment to hook Dwight into the trap. His response has to be perfect. From this vantage point, it’s possible to see JAM teamwork at it’s finest. As Jim dictates, Pam types, thus creating the perfect cover. After thinking for a moment Jim comes up with the perfect message to send Dwight. He playfully replies, “Not sure. Just became self-aware. So much to figure out. I think I am programmed to be your enemy. I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper.” To make the prank even more fun, he speaks in the character of a newly self-aware website. He can’t help but smile a little as he speaks. He is having too much fun with this and he knows Pam is as well. Not only is he getting even with Dwight, but he is happily in the bubble with Pam. Just as humor connected them in the past, it is bringing them closer now. 

Teamwork again comes into play as Dwight’s suspicion sends his gaze towards Jim and Pam. They both play their roles perfectly as they appear to be discussing the contents of the file folder Jim is holding. She is truly his match in pulling pranks and he couldn’t be happier to have her back at his side. Dwight sends an IM asking “How do I know this isn’t Jim?” Knowing Dwight is hot on his trail, he walks away from Pam’s desk as she sends, “What is a Jim?” It’s JAM synergy at it’s finest as the timing is perfect. Jim knows he can rely on Pam to pull her end of the prank without a second thought. Dwight is firmly stuck in their trap, primed for pranking for the rest of the day.

Jim is noticeably more relaxed as he watches Dwight freak out with a customer over the phone. With his usual slight sarcasm he asks, “How's it going?” Dwight insists he’s fine, but his frustration vents in his strained voice. Jim prods him a little further and says, “You look a little worried.” In an equally frustrated voice, Dwight answers, “I do not look worried.” Sensing Dwight’s aggravation level, Jim decides to leave it alone. He looks away, but is pleasantly surprised to hear Dwight’s IM ding with a new message. His Pam is calling him back into the bubble and the ding is his signal. As Dwight reads Pam’s message, “You do looked worried,” Jim heads over to Pam’s desk. Soon after arriving at Pam’s desk, Dwight’s IM arrives.

By this time Jim is already undercover looking “busy” at Pam’s desk with some paperwork. His familiar pose of leaning on Pam’s desk plays out in all it’s glory. The bubble is at it’s finest as both lean into the other to pull off the perfect prank. Pam dutifully reads off the IM and can’t help but crack a smile, “Here's a suggestion computer. I assume you read binary so why don't you zero one one, one one one one, zero one one zero one one.” Jim is equally amused and loves it that Pam is smiling. The wheels in his brain start turning immediately to conjure up the perfect response. He knows the prank is riding on his next move, along with the bubble. He is enjoying these little moments with Pam and he wants them to continue. Of course, his quick wit doesn’t let him down, “Okay. Um, while you were typing that I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin” The first part of Jim’s answer is geared towards Dwight, but the violin bit was just for Pam. He knew it would make her laugh and he was right. She does her best to hold a laugh back, and somewhat succeeds but her smile refuses to hide.

A moment later, Jim looks behind him to watch Dwight, but notices Andy updating the dry erase board to read a higher number of reams sold for the computer. He playfully turns back to Pam and adds, “Oop. And sold more paper.” He smiles widely at Pam, knowing this little addition will hit all of Dwight’s buttons. Jim is clearly having fun with his prank, but it’s important to note his intentions are not mean spirited. Jim is careful in just how hard he pushes Dwight. He is sympathetic to Dwight’s broken heart, but he isn’t above giving Dwight a hard time. Jim knows his prank isn’t hurting Dwight, and if anything it’s encouraging him to reach his goal of beating the computer. Deep down, Jim wants to see Dwight reach his goal. He knows Dwight needs something good in his life at this point. Call it Jim’s roundabout way of cheering Dwight on from the sidelines. Dwight is utterly annoying, but Jim does care about him.

Jim watches with curiosity as Dwight cautiously opens a locked metal box at his desk. It doesn’t take long for Jim to figure out the cards inside the box are contacts Dwight picked up at Staples. Dwight didn’t say anything to tip Jim off, but Jim knows him well enough to put two and two together. Dwight’s odd behavior coupled with his cryptic phone call was enough to trigger Jim’s alarms. And of course, Jim knows the perfect way to put Dwight back on the honest track. Jim doesn’t condone using stolen contacts, so Dwight deserves a good kick in the pants via a prank. 

As Michael calls for his ride to New York, (calling shotgun, of course!), Jim knows he only has one chance to capitalize on his knowledge of Dwight’s stolen contacts. He tells Michael, “Alright, let me just say good-bye to Pam.” He grabs his jacket and messenger bag before he heads over to Pam’s desk. In a hushed voice, he tells Pam his information. He knows he can trust Pam to carry out the prank. There’s no question is his mind that she will do it. This trust seems so miniscule in the grand scheme of things, but in the big picture it’s the first step towards learning to trust Pam on a deeper and emotional level. So far Jim knows he can trust Pam with his surface feelings and a prank. A few more baby steps like this and he will progress towards trusting her with his heart.

Break Room:

Jim is happily enjoying lunch with Pam, which appears to now be a very normal activity. Unfortunately, Michael is in the doorway rambling, “So. This is the dealio. God has smiled upon me and given me two tickets to the big party in New York tonight. What are you doing this evening?” Pam perks up immediately and looks at Jim with an excited face. It’s easy for him to tell she really wants to go to the party. She may be difficult for him to read these days, but some things never change. Pam can’t hide excitement and he finds that very endearing. The camera pans back over to Jim, who has his eyebrows arched in total surprise. His surprise is initially geared at Michael’s supposed offer, but it’s more the result of Pam’s interest to attend the party.

Once again, her new spirit catches him off guard. She is full of surprises and he loves it. The whole idea of going to a party in New York sounds like fun to him as well. In a beautiful display of non-verbal communication, she silently asks if they can go and he happily responds with an affirmative nod that tells her, “I’d love to.” It’s this simple development of speaking without saying a word that will help build Jim’s confidence in both the relationship and Pam. He has to learn to trust his ability to read her correctly. He immediately understood Pam’s unspoken thoughts, which only adds to his excitement. He can’t resist the chance to get away with Pam for a romantic evening in the city. His reaction to Pam’s request to go to the party is a stark contrast to his lackluster response to Karen’s similar request to spend an evening in New York in The Job. He didn’t mind going, but his excitement level was nothing like his response in the break room.

In The Job, Jim liked New York, but he was with the wrong girl. Now he has a chance to enjoy the city with the right girl on his arm. It makes all the difference in the world. He's excited for the prospect of having the girl of his dreams by his side to enjoy the flash and fun of New York for an evening. With Pam he knows he’ll always be at home, no matter where he goes, whereas with Karen he felt out of place. Jim speaks for the both of them when he tells Michael, “Sure we’ll go.” However, as soon as Jim pictures an evening with Pam, Michael pulls the rug out from under him, “Alright. Well fight it out amongst yourselves. I was thinking Pammy but boys night out is also good.” Jim is initially confused by Michael’s statement, “Oh I'm sorry. What?” To a certain degree he knows Michael's motivations, but he doesn’t want to believe it. Pam clears up the confusion by explaining, “One of the tickets is for him.” Needless to say Jim is disappointed, but he knows he shouldn’t be the least bit surprised at Michael’s behavior.

It’s at this point he knows he’s not about to let Pam suffer an entire evening with Michael. It’s part of Jim’s inherent need to take care of Pam. If he can save her, he will. However, he can’t resist the temptation to play and tease. In another stunning display of a strong connection both knew to say, “Not it” at the same time. It’s an inside game they play that is part of the bubble. He says, “Nope” in response to her “not it” as a way to play with her, even though he puts it in his best serious tone. Pam knows he’s playing and tells him, “I won.” Jim loves it that she playing along. She is truly the only one who gets his sense of humor. In a slightly more playful tone he says, “Definitely not. If anything it was a tie.” Her response most likely made his heart leap, “Tie goes to the girlfriend.” Her joking and sarcastic smile and the word “girlfriend” gave him another reason to love her and flooded him with euphoria. He doesn’t say a word back. How can he argue with her? She’s absolutely right.

Driving with Michael:

On the way to New York, Michael tells Jim, “You guys should come over for dinner. You and Pam. That'd be fun. Friday?” Jim is beyond horrified at Michael’s suggestion. His sarcasm comes out to play in full regalia to deal with the scary thought of joining Michael and Jan for dinner, “That would be fun. . . .” His face cringes with discomfort. Dinner with Michael and Jan is just about the worst way he can imagine spending an evening. He doesn’t make eye contact with Michael, desperately searching for an escape. Michael presses him further, “Wanna come over Friday?” Jim fumbles for an answer, still horrified at the situation, “Uhhh. Can’t.” His brain can’t come up with an excuse as Michael tries again, “After work you guys... “ Jim feels panic set in a little as he's once again cornered without a viable excuse, “Oh, no cause…” Michael stares at him in silence waiting for an answer. Jim feels his eyes peering into him and the only thing he can think to do is change the subject, “you're gonna let me know when we're close, right?” The ploy works as Michael is easily distracted back to his party invitation.

The last thing Jim wants is to include Michael in his personal life. It’s bad enough he knows about his relationship with Pam. Jim doesn’t want Michael any further into the bubble than he already is. Jim learned a long time ago that Michael should not be privy to anything personal unless he wants is spread around the office in record time. The secret may be out, but Jim is very protective of his relationship with Pam. It’s a second chance he never thought could exist. He’s going to protect that chance with every possible precaution. Besides, Jim is still intent on spending time with Pam alone. It’s a new relationship with a huge history. There is much to explore and learn about her. He can’t do that with someone watching or blabbing obnoxiously.

Soon after learning the invitation was for an online party rather than a fancy party in New York, Michael proceeds to chew out Ryan for failing to invite him to the big party. Jim sits in his car waiting for Michael to finish ranting in the parking lot of a rest stop. He’s known Michael for so long, this behavior is normal to him. Michael gets back into the car in a huff, “Doesn't it just  piss you off sometimes that that little twerp got the promotion over us?” Jim’s response to this statement clears up a little mystery leftover from The Job. Pam’s yogurt lid memo was indeed enough to cause Jim to remove himself from the interview process. In a matter of fact tone he tells Michael, “Oh actually I withdrew from consideration.” It’s finally a known fact that Jim willfully made the decision to stop running from the truth. He has no second thoughts about the choices he made that day. He knew he didn’t belong in New York or with Karen as soon as Pam gave him the memo he needed to make up his mind to come home. He’s right where he belongs and he’s never been happier.

Conference Room - A Question for Pam:

Jim sees Pam with Michael and lightly touches her arm to direct her attention to him. He has an idea to recapture the romantic date they lost in New York. He really was looking forward to an evening alone with Pam. Instead of New York, he comes up with the next best thing, “Hey, quick question. If I take a pizza, do you think you could take some sodas and some napkins up to the roof?” The roof is a special place between them and therefore part of the bubble. As he looks at her his eyes soften and he’s even a little bit nervous. A couple of years before he had put together a perfect “date” with her only to have his feelings crushed in the end, (how ironic, The Client is on TBS right now! I just watched the first rooftop date.).

Like Pam, Jim is interested in remembering the very best of their past relationship. The rooftop is something he wants back. It was a beautiful night and he wants to recreate that intimacy without the heartache. Pam gives him the response he’s looking for with an enthusiastic and even a tad flirtatious, “I’m all over it.” Her enthusiasm is infectious and he playfully says, “Oh, good.” The euphoric bubble again embraces Jim. He gets to be alone with her after all and in a very special place that means something just between them. He manages to score the promised pizza from an easily distracted Kevin as Pam reaches for plates and napkins. He slightly smiles at his success and in anticipation of his rooftop date with Pam.

Rooftop Date:

Sitting in familiar lawn chairs, Jim and Pam are alone on the roof in a beautiful recreation of the first rooftop date. This setting of quiet and intimacy makes Jim feels safe enough to explore not only memories the past, but also some of his feelings. After a day of pranking and the atmosphere of a real date on the roof, Jim feels safe enough to open up a little bit to Pam. Communication lines and trust have been building over the last couple of weeks causing him to feel very connected to her. He digs up some courage and takes a little trip down memory lane by asking her, “Do you remember what you said to me on my fist day of work, just before you walked me over to my desk?” Jim is pretty sure Pam won’t remember and he is prepared to impress her with his impeccable memory of every word she ever said to him. It’s his usual mode of charming her with simply knowing her better than anyone.

Pam, however, continues to throw him curve balls. She doesn’t hesitate in answering, “Yeah.” His face scrunches into a smile of surprise almost daring her to prove it. He can’t believe she remembers. Jim nods in agreement with every word she says, “. . . Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your deskmate Dwight.” This means the world to Jim. He isn’t the only one that remembers something so minute, but still so special. It was the first day they knew one another and the first day he fell for her. And for the first time in a long time, this memory didn’t hurt. Instead his heart swells with his emotions for Pam. His face warms as he looks at her sweetly and says, “And that's when I knew.” He inches closer to giving Pam one of his patented “looks” but falls just short. Jim is still keeping his deepest emotions locked tight, but he is beginning toy with the idea of letting Pam see how he feels beyond cheery smiles and goofy grins. He has more than a crush on her, but he isn’t willing to show it quite yet. However, he is taking those emotions out for a test run. He feels safe and protected in this moment as the past is nothing but a pleasant breeze while he and Pam reminisce.

Jim’s honesty in this scene is heartwarming and encouraging. It’s the most emotionally honest he’s been in a long time. He’s letting her see how he feels about her to a certain degree. This is a huge development for Jim in that he’s admitting just how long he’s had feelings for her. He’s a little nervous in admitting something so big as he fidgets a little as he speaks. He’s not sure how she’ll react. Bringing back the past is helping to remind both of them of all the reasons why they fell in love, which aids in rebuilding their connection and communication. As argued in previous analyses, there’s no doubt they love each other, but they need to fall back in love. Sharing stories of laughter and tender moments without barriers helps them rediscover a relationship they lost. The past has blinding moments of pain, but Jim is discovering the good memories outweigh the painful. Pam helped him realize this in The Job with her yogurt lid memo, which essentially told him the past doesn’t have to hurt. It’s a fact he’s still exploring as part of his journey towards trusting Pam not to hurt him again. In reality it’s all part of his trek towards returning to Old Jim. He made the choice to come home, which means retracing some of his steps to find his way back.

Jim decides to venture into uncharted waters and asks Pam to describe the moment she knew she liked him. He knows so much about her, but her feelings have always been a mystery. This is something he doesn’t know about her and has always wondered. He listens intently with a small grin as she tells her story, “You came up to my desk, and said, this might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.” He remembers it clearly, but he is shocked that this is her moment. He is playful, yet disappointed in his response, “That was the moment that you knew you liked me?” Jim was hoping for much more grand gesture on his part, rather than one of his dorky lines.

Jim can think of at least a dozen better actions and phrases that were much more romantic and sweet than a lame comment on expired yogurt. Pam answers, “Yep,” with incredibly warm and loving eyes. He looks away still a shocked that such a lame moment caught her attention, “Wow!” He drifts off for just a moment, realizing that she had indeed captured the perfect moment. He can’t help but poke fun at himself, “Can we make it a different moment?” Pam playfully answers “Nope.” Jim softly echos her with another “no,” but he is truly at peace with her chosen moment. She had seen him for who he really was years ago and that’s why he needs her now.

After a year of running from himself, he has the one person who knows him better than anyone. His frustration is completely feigned as he is still poking fun at himself. Her moment was perfect because now he knows she had feelings for him for a long time. That’s something he didn’t know before and it’s very reassuring. Furthermore, he finds immense comfort in knowing he can be himself around her. There is no more hiding and no more running. He can just be. This kind of comfort is priceless as it will further build trust and strong foundation for when the bubble pops. Sooner or later Jim is going to have to release his emotional blocks. However, he won’t do it until he feels safe enough to give heart to Pam. Pam’s willingness to share the past with him and open up about her feelings provides massive amounts of reassurance to Jim. Emotional honesty will only happen once Jim’s fears of getting hurt have been alleviated. An evening on the roof with Pam put many of his fears at ease.

The date ends with a little joke as Jim offers a toast in celebration of “avoiding a class two felony,” (See PD for symbolic analysis of the toast). Humor will always be part of them as they love to laugh together. Jim feels closer to Pam than he ever did before and is finally beginning to understand what it is to have a relationship with her that is open and honest on all levels. Trust is beginning to build, giving his emotions a reason to be brave. There are still a few missing pieces, but Jim is intent on finding where they fit.

The Bottom Line:

Jim is finding his way back home step by step. Luckily, Pam left him a trail of breadcrumbs.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) How close is Jim to achieving total emotional honesty? Are his emotional blocks weakening?

2) Is Jim ready to take the lead in the relationship anytime soon?

3) Has Old Jim completely returned? Does he need to?

4) Does Jim have a phobia of commitment? (Think about all of his past relationships before answering. I’m well aware this is a tricky question!)

After what seems like an eternity, the Jim we all know and love has found his way past emotionally debilitating fears and barriers. He may have come back to Scranton and to Pam in The Job, but it wasn’t until Money that Jim finally found himself. Although most of his defensive walls fell victim to Pam’s yogurt lid memo, his primal fear of getting hurt prevented complete emotional honesty of his deepest feelings for Pam. So far this season, Jim has been able to release his lighter “crush” feelings for Pam and happily embark on a relationship with her. However, his deeper emotions remained locked tight as his fears of getting hurt superseded his ability to love openly and freely. His feelings were there, but he was afraid to actually feel them.

The call of the past continues as Jim is constantly confronted with his own fears, which impedes his ability to see what he has right in front of him. The jumpstart Jim needed to break through his barriers comes from the unlikely source of Dwight. Dwight’s broken-hearted agony gave Jim a priceless insight into himself. The gift of hindsight played out in front of Jim as he watched Dwight moan, cry, and wallow in his pain. Dwight’s agony gave Jim a literal visual reminder of what his life was like without Pam. It essentially boils down to a choice (much like it did in The Job). Jim can either let the fear of past pain rule him or he can take a chance at finding happiness. A much needed epiphany to jump headfirst into the present is perhaps Dwight’s greatest gift to Jim, aside from always being the perfect target for a prank.

Jim’s epiphany actually has roots in the original notion of the fear paradox, which has influenced his behavior since the very beginning. Dwight’s pain awakened a fear that digs far deeper than the risk of getting hurt again. Dwight made Jim remember his life without Pam and that scares him more than he ever thought possible. As a result, Jim realizes he fears losing Pam more than he fears getting hurt. This realization helps Jim recognize that if he doesn’t snap out of fearing his emotions, he will lose her. If he wants her in his life he has to find the courage to let her know how he feels. For the first time, Jim realizes the extent of his fears and how they are holding him back from truly being happy. His fears are keeping him from seeing what he has with Pam. He has all he’s ever wanted, yet his fear keeps him from going “all in.”

The fear paradox, in turn, triggers a new and much needed brush with emotional honesty. He has a new internal awareness of just how much he loves Pam and he’s not afraid to let himself feel that love. Jim has only begun to take this awareness to an external level. He is able to show Pam how he feels, but he is not yet able to verbalize his feelings. Despite being unable to tell Pam, Jim’s progress in this department in monumental. By allowing himself to love Pam, he is one step closer to completely surrendering his heart to her. 

Pam Reserves a Room:

While Jim is on hold with a client, he can’t help but overhear Dwight answer the phones with a greeting for Schrute Farms. Just when he thought he’d heard it all, Dwight throws him yet another curve ball. He is instantly amused and can’t resist the urge to tease Dwight. Dwight continues to give information about bed sizes and room availability as Jim marvels at the lunacy before him. He’s intrigued enough to hang up on his call and turn his attention totally on Dwight. This is much more fun than a sales call. He nonchalantly says, “Hey Dwight” to get Dwight’s attention, knowing full well Dwight will detest his interest. Dwight doesn’t disappoint as he responds, “None of your business, Jim.” Jim can’t resist pushing his buttons further by asking, “You running a bed and breakfast?” He succeeds in annoying Dwight further by asking, “Does the health department know about this?” Dwight, of course, responds with further irritation, much to Jim’s delight. The very thought of Dwight’s beet farm as a B&B seems ludicrous to Jim, but it’s still amusing. It’s not the beet farm itself, but rather Dwight as a host. Dwight doesn’t exactly give off the warm and fuzzy vibe.

Just when Jim thinks it can’t get any better, Dwight’s phone rings with Pam on the other end, “Hello, I’m looking for a room.” Jim smiles widely and chuckles at Pam’s comedic timing. It was all her idea and once again, she is so great, (my favorite talking head from S1!). As if he needed another reason to love her, she can always make him laugh. Between Pam’s adorable humor and an even more infuriated Dwight, Jim is in heaven. Win-win-win.

Jim sits happily entertained as Pam keeps Dwight on the line with the bait of Trip Advisor and seemingly fake interest in booking a room. Dwight asks, “How many in your party,” just as he did for the previous call. As soon as Pam answers, “Two?,” Jim’s brow immediately knots in confusion and semi-panic, What is she doing? His head snaps around to look at her desperate for answers. The first night away together is a big step and he didn’t see it coming. To add to his confusion is the fact that their first “romantic” evening away will be at Dwight’s beet farm. However, as soon as he sees Pam’s smiling face, there is no arguing with her. He can’t resist her undeniable happiness as she listens to Dwight’s lunacy. Her sense of adventure is infectious. Her smile dissipates his panic mode, which prevents an objection to her decision to stick with booking the room. His status of simply going along for the ride continues as he as placed a certain amount of trust in Pam to take the lead in the relationship. She’s handled everything so far, and it’s going really great (couldn’t resist!). He’s taking this step on a leap of faith, which shows his trust in her is growing. She hasn’t lead them astray yet, so it stands to reason he should follow her now. Aside from that, a night away with Pam has wafted through his dreams for as long as he can remember. He’s not about to protest that fantasy coming to life.

Michael’s Dinner:

See the PD S4! I’m not touching this scene again. I said my peace over on the PD and nothing really changes from Jim’s POV!

Arriving at Schrute Farms:

The adventure to Dwight’s farm seemingly begins right after work, as Jim drives into the driveway of Schrute Farms. In a nice bit of symbolism, Jim is the one driving as opposed to Pam, (thanks to Office Obsessed for this fine observation). This is great foreshadowing that Jim is getting ready to share in “driving duties” when it comes to his relationship with Pam. Jim can’t help but marvel at his surroundings, “I can't believe this place is real. I mean, I've heard about his beet farm for years, but wow.” Thus, the metaphor of Dwight’s farm begins. Dwight’s farm is one big representation of JAM’s relationship and all the impediments that stand in their way, particularly hurdles that block Jim’s path to Pam.

Jim’s opening lines in this scene offer up plenty of insight into Jim’s head. He first says, “I can’t believe this place is real,“ which relates to the “place” of being with Pam. He’s literally in a “place” in his life he never thought he’d be. The hope of a relationship with Pam was always elusive and barely seemed real at times, although Jim had always hoped nonetheless. With his next comment the symbolism continues, as the beet farm is again a reference to the relationship. He had heard about a relationship in his head “for years” via fantasy and dreams. However, something always got in the way, namely fear.

Dwight’s farm is filled with the fear, humor, awkwardness, and simplicity that has characterized JAM for as long as they have known one another. They are essentially revisiting every quirk in their relationship. Spending the night in Dwight’s home is scary, but so is jumping into a relationship with Pam. At the end of Jim’s statement, he whispers a barely audible, “I never thought . . . .” It’s likely he meant to finish this with something like, “I’d be here.” Jim is still trying to grasp onto the reality that he is really with Pam. It was out of his grasp for so long, it’s hard to train his brain to accept his new reality without question. The relationship is real enough, but he has yet to give it all he has out of fear of getting hurt.

Pam is clearly amused as she begins to poke fun at their surroundings by calling out, “Beets Inn.” Jim looks to her and smiles admiringly. Her joke is perfect and just too cute. He is quick to praise her, “The Beets Motel? That is, wow.” It’s something he wishes he came up with himself. Jim tries to join in the game himself by adding, “The Borscht Hotel,” but Pam isn’t overly impressed. Jim isn’t phased, figuring the joke is over anyway. However, Pam keeps rattling them off and they keep getting funnier, “Embassy Beets . . . . Radish Inn.” He is beyond impressed with her creativity and spirit, “How are you doing this?” She giggles as she says, "I don't know." She is making him laugh and smile like no on else can. He’s always loved her humor. Without even realizing it, she is reminding him of why he loves her so much. Soon after both are spooked by a running Mose. The weird of Schrute Farms has already shown it's face. It's going to be an interesting evening to say the least.

(Take special note, that Mose is chasing the car as they arrive. He’s obviously meant to be humorous, but there’s more meaning to his presence. It will all make sense in the Bedtime Story scene.)

Check In & Room:

Jim sits on the couch in Dwight’s living room, looking just a little nervous and bewildered by his surroundings. Dwight is just weird and it’s disconcerting having everything that is Dwight surrounding him. Plus, this remains a big step with Pam. There are understandably a few butterflies floating around in his stomach. Dwight offers three different theme rooms to choose from, and Pam is quick to pick “Irrigation.” He turns to humor to alleviate his nerves and praises Pam’s room choice. The fact the Dwight is overseeing their first night away together proves to be quite unnerving.

Jim again relies on humor to alleviate the heebie-jeebies as Dwight asks if they require any special needs. He answers, “Yes, we will be requiring a bedtime story.” This serves to ease his nerves, but he also knows it will annoy Dwight. Dwight immediately refuses, but Jim persists in a playful manner, “Not even Harry Potter.” Jim loves to make fun of Dwight’s fixation with Harry Potter (most recently in Beach Games). Dwight is sufficiently exasperated as he refuses again, “No, Jim, c’mon.” Jim does this for his own entertainment as well as Pam’s. He can see her smiling without even looking at her and that’s enough for him to keep teasing. However, humor can’t save him completely from the odd surroundings. Especially as Mose comes out from hiding to grab Jim and Pam’s bags. Jim’s bewildered expression returns as he wonders just what they’ve gotten themselves into. This notion is only furthered as Dwight shows them to their room. A room full of water equipment and pipes don’t exactly scream romance.

Jim can’t help but fidget with the room decoration as Dwight explains, “As of this morning, we are completely wireless here at Schrute Farms. As soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we’ll get that power back on,” (Make another mental note for Mose!). Jim stands stunned with Pam as they contemplate their weird surroundings once again. This is definitely not what he had in mind for an evening alone with Pam.

First Night Away:

Jim plops down on one of the beds and it complains under his weight with a bang. As if two beds aren’t romantic enough, it doesn’t look like Jim will even fit on his tiny bed. He looks around at the sparse room still marveling at how un-romantic it all is. In addition, he’s still a little nervous as he realizes he’s living out a fantasy he’s had for along time. However, everything is beyond his control. He didn’t plan this and an Irrigation themed room isn’t ideal. There is an awkward silence between them as neither is willing to talk about why they are nervous. He can see that she is nervous as well, so he goes into his familiar mode of humor to relax the mood. He mutters, “Mmmmm . . .I’d say one in six.” Pam responds with a confused “What?” with a little bit of a worried expression on her face. Jim is quick to extend his joke, “Oh I thought you asked me what our chances were of getting murdered here tonight.” He’s relieved to hear her laugh, but some of the tension remains as a result of the big step they are taking.

In an overlapping talking head Jim shares a few moments of honesty with the camera, “You know, I just realized that this is Pam’s and my first night away together.” He’s trying to sound casual, but it’s been on his mind ever since Pam booked the room. In fact, it’s been on his mind a lot longer than that, “I used to play it over in my head and it was just a little bit different.” Jim is slowly coming to the realization that most things in life are seldom what we imagine them to be. His fantasy of spending a night away with Pam is happening and it’s no longer a dream. It’s very real, even if it isn’t what he imagined. He goes on to explain, “Maybe a . . . uh . . . nice hotel or a romantic dinner. Wine . . . Uhm . . . but wine that wasn’t made out of beets. Didn’t think Dwight would be involved at all. And uh, I always imagined less manure. I mean, some manure . . . Just less.” As he speaks, Jim and Pam are seen going on a barn tour, watching Mose and Dwight pound beets, and hanging out in the beet fields with manure. Not exactly the perfect picture of love and romance. Old fantasies that never came true must make way for reality.

The metaphor of visiting Dwight’s farm plays out again as the reality of their first night away overshadows fantasy. The relationship itself has never gone according to his “plans” or his imagination. It’s almost fitting that their romantic evening would be filled with beets, Dwight, manure, imperfection, and fits of awkwardness. Jim’s tone is slightly playful, as he can easily find the humor in the situation. His fantasy has fallen apart, but the reality before him means so much more. Part of him has figured out that he can’t stay in the bubble of his imagination. Being with Pam is no long just an elusive dream. He doesn’t need the fantasy anymore. Imperfection has essentially become perfection. Nothing is quite as he expected but he‘s willing to accept and embrace his reality. Special moments with Pam are what he missed while in Stamford and while he was with Karen. Things have never been perfect with Pam and honestly he wouldn’t have it any other way.

On a subconscious level, he’s beginning to see how the past is different from the present in that Pam is by his side in a new and amazing twist of fate. The oddities around them create a strong bubble of memories just between them, while building an even stronger connection. After all, they spent years connecting over the humor and weirdness that is Dwight. Schrute Farms is an ideal place to regain everything they lost in the past. As it turns out, it is the most romantic location possible for their first night away together. There are impediments at every turn, but he is still with Pam. In the end, that’s all that matters.

Bedtime Story:

Jim’s joke of a bedtime story actually comes true, as Dwight reads an excerpt from a Harry Potter novel while sitting on one of the beds in Jim and Pam’s room. Jim is situated on the other bed, leaning against the headboard with Pam laying back on him. His arms are wrapped around her as they listen to Dwight’s dramatic reading. He could spend the whole night just as they are. There is a close intimacy and a sense of comfort with her resting peacefully in his arms. Holding Pam is a fantasy in and of itself, regardless of the unorthodox nature of the evening. Furthermore, Pam is happily joining him in the insanity they will undoubtedly laugh about later. She is the only one who could understand the humor of their experiences. This is another memory they are creating together and is something special (and bizarre) just between them.

As if Dwight’s reading isn’t strange enough, the camera pans over to reveal a frightened Mose at the foot of Jim and Pam’s bed. Both look over to him with slightly amused expressions. It’s another element of the weird taking over their evening. A slight smile forms on Jim’s face, as he knows the humor of this night will not be forgotten. Again, not what he imagined, but nonetheless perfect.

Moses presence in this scene, at first glance, appears odd and funny, (which it is), but his symbolic role is of paramount importance. The frightened Mose at the foot of the bed is a strong representation of Jim’s fears. As Jim sits with all he’s ever wanted in his arms, he is still scared to death. As he looks over at Mose he is literally staring his fears right in the face. Since the beginning of the episode, Mose has made several appearances and it all boils down to the same thing; he is the personification of Jim’s fears. Upon arriving at Schrute Farm, Mose was running outside the car, chasing Jim and Pam all the way down the driveway.

Jim’s fears follow him wherever he goes, even on his way towards a relationship with Pam, (as Schrute Farms invariably represents). Although, he wants (and needs) to be with Pam, he can’t escape the fear of getting hurt. Mose makes another appearance in Dwight’s explanation of the newly wireless Schrute Farms. Mose has hidden all the wires much like fear hides Jim’s emotions. The power can’t come back on until the “wires” in both instances are repaired. Jim is happily involved in a relationship with Pam, but let’s face it, the lights are still off. He hasn’t release any of his deeper emotions, due to his entrenched fears. At the very most, a small candle is lit, waiting for the lights to return.

A Bump in the Night:

As Jim and Pam try to sleep, a loud thumping noise rattles through the house. The light flips on in their room as Pam apparently is getting ready to go out and investigate. Oddly enough this plays nicely into the idea of the lights needing to go on in Jim. In order for the wires to be reconnected he needs to break free of the confines of his fears. He can’t do that if he’s unable to leave the safety of the bubble and face his fears. He asks Pam, “Wait. Your going out there?” Pam has no hesitance at all as she answers, “Yeah.” She is willing to venture outside the room and to explore the origin of noise in the house. The metaphor of Schrute Farm continues as Jim and Pam’s room represents their bubble while the house represents the rest of their relationship. 

It’s a big house, but hurdles are lurking. Pam is willing to venture outside the bubble, whereas Jim is unable at this point. Hiding in the “house” is fear, pain, hidden emotions, and all things that go bump in the night. Pam has no fear to face these impediments head on as she heads out with a flashlight. On her way out, she calls Jim a “coward.” She couldn’t have pegged him any better. He’s a coward in his own relationship as he’s too fearful to allow his deeper emotions to surface. He’s too afraid too feel due to his overwhelming fear of pain. As a result, emotional honesty remains locked and out of reach. As Pam is out exploring Jim is alone in the bubble. If he doesn’t snap out of it, Pam will eventually explore without him.

As brave as Pam has become, she can’t overcome Jim’s fears for him. All she can do is provide assurance that he is safe with her. However, Jim is eventually going to have to face his fears on his own. Later in the evening, a eerie moaning echoes relentlessly through the house. Once again, the light flips on in Jim and Pam’s room. Only this time, Pam is done exploring. She tells Jim, “Your turn.” She is again speaking the literal truth as she can’t be the only one dealing with the impediments that block their path. She has been carrying the weight of JAM since he came back in The Job and it is his turn to share the load. Jim can’t just continue to be a passive participant in the relationship. He has to take care of Pam with the same assurance she offers. However, Jim can’t do that until he finds his way past the pain. The relationship can’t work if he doesn’t figure out how to break the chains of his fears. Pam’s insistence that he go out and explore is forcing Jim outside the bubble to check out the moaning sound. She is essentially forcing him out to face his fears.

Jim slowly follows the moaning sound to Dwight’s room. As he opens the door, his own fears and pain are glaring at him as Dwight sits slumped over on his bed holding a memento of Angela, (her cherub angel). Jim instantly sympathizes with Dwight. It wasn’t that long ago that he felt exactly the same way. In a sense, he sees himself in Dwight. Dwight is surprised to find Jim standing in his doorway, believing it would be Mose with another nightmare. Jim asks, “Does Mose have nightmares?” Dwight answers, “Oh yes, ever since the storm.” Mose once again takes on the role of personifying Jim’s fears. Jim has his own nightmares in terms of feeling the pain of broken heart. CN was his personal “storm” where the pain of that evening continues to haunt him. The possibility of it happening again looms over him, debilitating his ability to feel all of his emotions. 

Dwight’s sorry state leaves Jim at a loss on how to help him. Jim barely knew how to help himself past such pain. He stands dumbfounded with the situation and almost thankful for the release of Dwight’s question, “Is everything satisfactory with your stay?” Jim quickly answers “Yeah . . .yeah,” but he still feels the need to at least try and comfort Dwight. He attempts to get him to talk, “Just thought that I heard crying, moaning, or something in here.” Dwight doesn’t bite, instead replying that he’ll look into it in the morning. Dwight further states, “Thank you for bringing it to the attention of the staff.” Jim realizes Dwight isn’t ready to talk about it and he can relate. He leaves Dwight to himself and exits the room. The moaning begins again soon after. Jim and Dwight’s conversation is dripping in symbolism much like the entirety of Schrute Farms. Dwight question concerning Jim’s satisfaction with his stay is another way of evaluating JAM. Jim is happy with Pam and the relationship but the “moaning” of his fears plays in the back of his mind. Jim’s observation of hearing moaning and crying is an amazing insight into his state of mind.

The past has been calling for quite some time as Jim holds back his emotions for Pam. He prefers to build a relationship with her by recalling all the best of their past, but he can’t ignore the imprint of the pain of the past. It holds him back and it’s time to bring it “to the attention of the staff,” namely Jim’s conscious awareness of how his fear keeps him from releasing his emotions. In this instance Jim has come face to face with his fears, but he is unsure of how to deal with them, so he walks away. However, Dwight is giving him the hindsight he needs to see his own weaknesses.

Dwight’s Recorder:

Dwight is obviously upset as Angela looks over at Andy in regards to a gift on her desk. Jim sees everything and genuinely identifies with Dwight. He and Pam go downstairs to check on Dwight, and soon find the situation is quite dire. Dwight is slumped against the garbage can in the parking lot playing a Bon Jovi song on his recorder. Jim looks at Dwight with a mix of sympathy and disbelief. His disbelief is geared not so much at Dwight, but himself. He can’t help but wonder if he was this pathetic with his own broken heart last year. Once again he sees pieces of himself staring back at him. It wasn’t this bad on the outside, but he was a disaster on the inside.

It’s here that Jim’s subconscious begins twinging with realization of the choice that lies before him. He can either continue fearing the pain or let it go. Even though he is with Pam and he should be at his happiest, his fear holds him back. Part of him still wallows in the possibility that he could get hurt again. Pam makes the observation, “Man, Angela really had a hold on him.” Jim knows all too well, Pam has a similar hold on him. He knows how badly he can hurt, which prevents him from letting his emotions wrap completely around her. However, Jim is beginning to see and remember just how much it worse his life could be without Pam. She‘s in his life now, but his fear could eventually drive her away. It’s not a clear realization quite yet, but it is knocking on the door of his conscious awareness.

Trip Advisor:

Neither Jim nor Pam can stand to see Dwight so upset. It’s a little unnerving to see the normally stiff and composed Dwight so utterly lost. It’s just weird. As a way to lift Dwight’s spirits they write a glowing review of their stay Schrute Farms on Trip Advisor. Jim is the first to lure Dwight into their little “feel better” trap by asking, “Dwight, how’s the hotel business?” Still utterly miserable, Dwight answers, “Stupid.” Jim manages to convince him to check trip advisor where a positive review awaits his eyes. The scene cuts to Jim and Pam in the break room with a printout of their review. Pam begins by describing the aroma of beets, while Jim shares heartwarming activity of a dawn goose walk.

As they speak scenes of Jim and Pam play showing them in kitchen with Mose pounding on beets and watching Dwight make a table. As they describe each activity the warmth they feel for Dwight is apparent, but so is their trademark sarcasm. The review is meant to cheer up Dwight, but it’s also one big inside joke. Their night at Schrute Farms was one for the record books. It’s a warm and funny memory that is something just between them, just like countless jokes. As always, humor connects them on multiple levels. For all the quirks and oddness of the place it is undeniably, “them.” The metaphor of Dwight’s farm representing their relationship has never been so clear. All the weirdness and impediments housed in Schrute Farms are present in their relationship, but those impediments doesn’t change the fact that they are together. Jim is with Pam and that’s all that really matters.

Hurdles will need to be overcome, but step one is realizing they exist. Jim’s fears are a problem, but the positive nature of their review shows there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Reality is better than any dream he’s ever had about Pam, even if it’s weird, scary and unexpected. It’s worth the trip. Their stay at Schrute Farms gave Jim some insight into his relationship with Pam, but a catalyst is still needed to break through his emotional barriers and put this information to use.

The Stairwell:

Jim overhears Angela accept a date with Andy and can see Dwight’s hurt reaction. Dwight darts out of his seat and walks hurriedly towards the door to take his leave. Pam tries to call after him, but Dwight ignores her. Pam shoots Jim a worried face, which combines with his own sense of compassion for Dwight. He has no choice but to go after him and try to help. He knows what it’s like to watch “his” girl be with someone else. It’s a blinding pain that he endured for years. Jim knows he is over that pain, but the fear of it is what haunts him.

Jim heads down the stairs and finds a crumpled and moaning Dwight huddled in a corner of the stairwell. He stops and stands next to Dwight, unsure of what to say or do. Seeing Dwight’s pain again reminds him of himself. He brings himself to Dwight’s level by taking a seat on the floor next to him. The only Jim knows to do is use his own experience to relate to Dwight and let him know he’s not alone. Dwight’s misery and Jim’s own compassion allowed him to open up about a very private and painful part of his life. There’s finally a purpose that makes dredging up all his pain beneficial. He sits quietly for a moment trying to decide where to begin. The only thing that comes to mind is, “Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton?” Dwight responds with incoherent mumbling, but Jim pretends he understands completely, “Yeah, I didn’t think I had.” His tone is still very casual, as this is something he discussed with Michael once before in The Convention. He’s talked about this part of his journey before so it comes out a little easier. 

Jim pauses for a moment deciding if he’s really going to talk about Pam. Dwight’s agony is so reminiscent of what he felt after CN and it threatens to overwhelm him again. He fidgets with his arm and hands before deciding to take the plunge, “Well, it was all about Pam.” His tone still remains matter of fact as he has admitted this to Michael before. However, there is a sense of empathy and honesty in his voice to let Dwight know he knows how he feels. However, things are about to go into uncharted territory as Jim is getting ready to talk about aspects of his past with(out) Pam he has never really talked about to anyone, including Pam herself. Dwight responds with more mumbling and Jim once again continues the conversation, “ Yeah, I mean she was with Roy, and, uh, I just couldn't take it.” His tone changes a little as he begins to relive his heartache. Watching Pam be with Roy was painful for years. He remembers how hard it was not to be with her. His “I just couldn’t take it” is strained as he is being very honest to both Dwight and himself.

The memory of his pain is much more pronounced, causing Jim to fall back on some slight humor, “I mean, I lost it Dwight.” He’s almost laughing at himself at this point as a slight smile appears on his face paired with a very slight chuckle. He knows just how bad it was and the only thing he can do is laugh about it. The relief of his humor is short lived as Jim can’t help but remember the effects of “losing it.” He begins to list some of his experiences, “I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything.” As he remembers, he begins to “feel” the pain awaken inside him. His voice shifts to wounded tone, “Even weird stuff, like food had no taste.” Jim almost falls into trance as he remembers the misery of his life without Pam. He never really let it in. He simply lived it without thinking about it, by attempting to bypass dealing with the ramifications of his broken heart. Jim spent all of last year avoiding and even denying his broken heart. He never allowed himself to reflect on his pain as his solution was to run away from his broken heart rather than face it.

Luckily, Jim is fully aware of his attempts to run, “So my solution was to move away.” He realized in The Job he couldn’t run any longer and now he is able to fully acknowledge his mistake in even trying in the first place. His eyes grow even more distant as his mind flashes back to Stamford, Karen, and every moment he spent without Pam. All he can say is, “It was awful.” It’s no lie, as every Season 3 viewer can attest. He shakes his head in spite of himself. It’s not so much the pain itself, but the memory of that pain that is effecting him. The memory hurts just as much as the original heartbreak. At this point there are no blocks on his memory as the pain floods through him. He never really looked at himself with 20/20 vision as hindsight often offers. What’s more, Dwight is a visual aid of Jim’s past behavior and emotions. The past is coming alive in him and he’s facing the pain he fears the most. He’s finally able to fully admit to himself that it hurt badly and he is afraid it will happen again. Jim’s emotions are noticeably on the surface as he tells Dwight, “It is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.” Emotional memories surge through him inundating every corner of his mind and heart. It was the worst time of his life.

Being without Pam and hurting so much literally paralyzed him for a year, much like the memory of it does as he sits in the stairwell. The basket case behavior of Dwight personifies everything Jim went through as an almost animated version of Jim’s past feelings and pain. As Jim remains engrossed in his memories, he doesn’t forget the troubled man sitting next to him. Jim meant what he said about not wishing his experiences on his worst enemy. It’s a kind of pain no one should have to feel. He quietly lets Dwight know, “And that includes you.” Not even Dwight should have to endure the emotional torture that lived in Jim for years.

Silence ensues as Jim contemplates everything he just said and felt coursing through his veins. The memories, the pain and the heartache settle into his thoughts and pull at his emotional blocks. These few moments of reflection with Dwight trigger a major epiphany as Jim suddenly asks himself, What am I doing? He’s made the golden connection that there is a big different between then and now. He’s always known he doesn’t want to go back to a life of pain, but now he realizes doesn‘t have to if he gets his act together. Jim has everything he’s ever wanted or dreamed of with Pam. He finally realizes the origins of his fears and how they are holding him back. There is at long last a crystal clear image in his mind of how he is emotionally closed off when it comes to Pam. It finally dawns on him that he is hesitating on something he can’t live without. His little trip down memory lane reminded him of how truly incapable he is at living without Pam. He has the life he’s always wanted, and he can’t help but wonder why he isn’t living it for all its worth. He should be grabbing onto her and holding on with everything he has. In a beautiful twist of the fear paradox, the fear of getting hurt has shifted to a fear of returning to a life without Pam. 

The barriers surrounding his emotions begin to crumble into dust as he allows himself to feel just how much he loves Pam. Even more amazing, is the fact that he’s not afraid to feel that love. Internal emotional honesty is now reality. He has officially made the choice to let go of the fear. Jim’s epiphany revolves around the realization that he can’t keep his emotions buried. If he does, he will inevitably return to being miserable and without Pam. Jim spent so much time worrying about what could happen that he lost sight of what is actually happening. His relationship with Pam is happening and he’s missing out by holding back. She’s giving him the chance he wanted on CN, yet he’s sitting on his thumbs. She is with him, and there isn’t an “I can’t” anywhere near them. It’s time to step out of the bubble and take that chance.

Dwight’s broken heart is hard to watch, but it gives Jim the nudge he needed to snap him out of simply being a passive observer in his relationship with Pam. Between empathy and seeing himself in Dwight, Jim is able to see himself with amazing clarity, faults and all. This kind of insight gives Jim the impetus he needs to get off his butt and make a move. She needs to know how he feels.

The Kiss:

Jim emerges from the stairwell still deep in thought. His mind is still pondering the epiphany that struck him so profoundly. His life has changed yet again and he is now just catching up. He knows he needs to do something, but he’s drawing a blank on his next course of action. Suddenly it hits him. He is filled with a sense of urgency similar to what he felt on CN, with one distinct difference. There isn’t a desperation to win her like there was before. Rather, his motives are geared at showing her and himself that he knows where he belongs and he’s no longer afraid. He doesn’t want to lose her again and he needs to show her how he feels. There’s only one way he knows to send the message. He walks through the Dunder Mifflin doors with the stance of a man on a mission. 

As he enters the office, his everything is standing behind the reception desk. She greets him warmly with “Hey, I was thinking about dinner . . .” He hears her, but his mind is elsewhere as he steps closer realizing just how lucky he is to have her in his life. With both hands he frames her face, holding on for dear life. From this point on he’s decided he will never let her go again. Before the moment leaves, he dives in for a sweet and tender kiss. Nothing ever felt so real and so right. For the first time since CN, he kissed her with everything he has to offer on an emotional level. He knows she’s been waiting for him and he can truly feel her moving in his heart. As he pulls away, he looks her deeply in the eyes expressing everything he can’t say. He may have found the courage to feel his emotions, but telling her is still attached to fear. However, he has made the landmark development of being able to show her how he feels. For a couple that thrives on non-verbal communication his expression is as good as gold. With one flicker in his eyes he told Pam, “I love you and I’m all in.” Seeing Pam’s expression is all he needs. He knows she understood and it puts him completely at ease. Her smile is all he ever needed and now he has it.

Without even thinking twice, he returns the subject to dinner, knowing full well his actions need no explanation. There is enough understanding to shift topics to the mundane yet equally amazing task of making dinner plans. Taking her out to dinner sounds like the best thing on earth, considering the past he revisited in the stairwell. All he wants to do is be with her. He suggests trying a new Italian restaurant in town, to which Pam happily agrees. In a bit of a symbolic shift that relates to the earlier reference of Jim driving, he is taking a small lead in the relationship by making plans. Making a date with her is suddenly a more heavenly experience than he ever thought imaginable. It’s a tangible reality instead of a fleeting dream. Tying in with the earlier notion that JAM’s reality is pitted with imperfection, Jim has finally realized that the reality of his relationship is even better than he could’ve ever imagined. It’s “real” and he’s in it with all his heart. He walks away from her desk with a relieved and euphoric grin on his face. This really is his life.

Talking Head:

Still a tad euphoric from his bold move, Jim sits in front of the cameras for a talking head. His eyes are sparkling and his face is alive with his newly released emotions. He can’t help but speak in code as the camera crew has obviously referenced Pam’s earlier talking head statement, “Jim’s just really passionate about Italian food.” He smiles a lovesick smile as he says, “Yep, I’m very passionate about Italian food.” Of course, it’s easy to see he means Pam. Without emotional blocks his passions are allowed to run wild. In a shocking extension of his earlier realization of internal honesty he tells the camera, “In fact, um, I’m in love with Italian food.” It’s the first time he’s admitted verbally how he feels about Pam since CN. The word “love” has always lurked behind the barriers but never came out until now.

Jim has reached a new level of emotional honesty, but its important to note that he failed to tell Pam beyond non-verbal communication. However, he is rapidly approaching that step. Achieving internal emotional honesty and even partial external honesty in the space of a few minutes is monumental. The bulk of his fears have been laid to rest. A few fears remain, but Jim has crossed the most difficult hurdle in admitting to himself just how strong his feelings are for Pam . Bear in mind, it may take him a little while to figure out just how and when to put those feelings into words.

Back to Normal:

Dwight returns from the stairwell with his usual scowl back on his face. Apparently, Jim’s little talk snapped Dwight out his misery enough to at least allow him to function. Jim watches over Dwight with a protective expression. He’s wondering if Dwight is okay and shows genuine concern. When it seems everything is all clear, Jim returns to his work. Dwight picks up the phone to make a sales call and is seemingly back to his old self. His face takes on an annoyed demeanor as he notices Jim’s overflowing paper stack is invading his desk area. He pulls a ruler from his supplies and runs it along the line of “demarcation,” effectively sending Jim’s paper stack to the floor. Jim says nothing as he eyes the disaster of the paper avalanche. A smile grows on his face as he looks up at Dwight. Everything Dwight does annoys him, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He cares about him, no matter how many times he tells himself to ignore him. He looks over to Pam and grins even wider with gleaming eyes. Dwight is back to normal and the beautiful receptionist he loves is smiling at him. Life doesn’t get any better than this.

The Bottom Line:

The lights are back on.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) Is it possible for Jim to relapse into his fears?

2) Does Jim still harbor some insecurities? If so, are they more with himself, Pam, or the relationship?

3) Is Jim ready for emotional honesty or has he jumped the gun?

4) Who will say “I love you” first?

5) Is there any meaning behind Dwight’s line “I’m better than you have ever been or ever will be?” in the context of Jim’s development in this episode? The line struck me as I watched the episode, but I was never able to make it fit in the analysis. So, I thought I’d let everyone here take a crack at it! Have fun!

Jim may have found his way back to himself, but he is at total loss on how to make Old Jim fit into his current life. There’s not doubt Jim is happy with Pam, but his internal flaws of insecurity, low confidence, and the infamous fear paradox continue to dominate his behavior patterns. Jim’s insecurity is rooted mostly in himself as he tries to navigate his way through his relationship with Pam and his life in general. He is finding that Pam doesn’t need him the same way she did in previous seasons. Jim is struggling to find just where he fits in with her newfound independence. Furthermore, he finds himself in the same rut of hating his job with no goals or direction for his future. Pam was always his distraction and reason for waking up in the morning. His hope of being with her is what kept him going.

Now that he is with her, the game has changed. He’s still at the job he hates, while Pam is beginning to strive for something more. He can’t put his finger on it, but he can feel the shift. He may have come home, but home has changed. He’s at a loss on how to deal with change, while also trying to rebuild everything that was great between himself and Pam. The past finally became something Jim no longer fears, but the reality has hit him that the past is gone. There’s no doubt that Jim is proud of Pam and happy for her, but part of him longs to be needed as he was previously.

Jim also continues to fight his old enemy of low confidence. He’s not sure about where he is going, with the exception of his relationship with Pam. He knows with certainty that he is happy with her. However, the rest of his life is one big mystery. Part of him knows he is capable of more than selling paper, but he lacks to confidence to pursue and entertain the notion of trying something different. As Pam prods him to share the reasoning behind his avatar on Second Life Jim shuts down and refuses to let her see a part of himself that has aspirations beyond Dunder Mifflin. He doesn’t believe in himself enough to share possible life directions with Pam.

The combination of insecurity and low confidence fuels the fire of Jim’s longstanding fear paradox. The fear paradox has evolved and changed over time, but the central component of fear dominating his behavior remains in place. Jim’s fear of losing Pam has intensified due to rising insecurities about where he fits in her life. He knows they are happy, but he can’t help but notice the incongruence between them. Pam has moved on and changed into the person he always knew she could be, while he is moving back towards to the person he always should have been.

Things will likely balance out in the end, but Jim is stuck in the precarious position of waiting out the transition. This transition is crucial as both Jim and Pam reevaluate the needs of the other and adjust the relationship accordingly. Hampering this effort, is a communication gap. Pam isn’t able to read Jim’s insecurities and he is doing his best to hide them. His impromptu kiss in the last episode gave the impression that he is “all in.” In all fairness Jim felt that way until the weight of it all sunk in. He feels the weight of carrying part of the lead in the relationship and it’s a little overwhelming. Pam’s somewhat aloof behavior towards him leaves him not only questioning himself, but also the relationship in the back of his mind. He can’t help but wonder if he’s good enough for Pam.

Question his worth essentially wraps up all of Jim’s fears, confidence issues and insecurities into one package. In an ironic development, Jim is beginning to exhibit similar insecurities that characterized Pam in Season 2.

Conference Room:

Jim is bored out of his mind as Michael tries to fire up the crew to come up with ideas for a new ad campaign for Dunder Mifflin. He sits with his hands resting in his lap as he stares off into space. Andy comes to his rescue by breaking out into song, “Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that…” The Kit Kat jingle echoes through the conference, but comes to an immediate halt as Andy’s memory fails him, “I am totally blanking. What is the thing?” Jim’s humor kicks in, as usual, to distract him from the utter boredom surrounding him. It’s a proven tactic for him that he’s employed for years. It makes his job and many times his life in general bearable. He immediately hollers, “Nobody tell him!” He can’t help but entertain himself with Andy’s memory gap. He continues to encourage product guesses ranging from applesauce to football cream thoroughly enjoying Andy’s frustration. He views his little prank as harmless and a simple way to entertain himself during an insipid meeting.

Later in the meeting, Michael asks if anyone has anything else to contribute for the ad. Pam speaks up and offers up her abilities in creating a logo using computer animation. He nods as she explains her participation in a computer animation class. He couldn’t be more proud of Pam for taking an active role in pursuing her artistic ambitions. He further acknowledges her abilities with a knowing expression in regards to her talent. Jim knows she is a talented artist and is happy to see her offer her skills with confidence. Pam has become everything he knew she could be and he is genuinely proud of her.

Talking Head #1:

Jim is apparently asked by the camera crew what he thinks about a Dunder Mifflin commercial. He starts his answer by sounding positive, “I think it's great that the company's making a commercial because not very many people have heard of us.” However, his usual disdain for his job doesn’t take long to surface under the guise of Jim’s trademark sarcasm, “I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers, or muffins, or mittens, or... And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.” The work ethic Jim hid behind in Season 3 has obviously been thrown out the window as he reverts to his previous attitude of loathing his job. A general sense of hopelessness begins to make itself known as Jim pokes fun at his lot in life. Almost anything sounds better than being a paper salesmen, even the notion of selling mittens. He is bored to tears with his job and there is no escape in sight. 

The same tone appears in previous talking heads from Health Care (in which he states he’d have to throw himself in front of a train if this were his career), The Client, (“And I could work here for years. And years. Years.”), and even in Cocktails as Jim rattles off his reasons for not wanting to attend a party at the CFO’s house. In all of these instances Jim couldn’t escape the rut of being a paper salesman. That same feeling is again permeating his thoughts, despite living his dream of being with Pam. While one aspect of his life is seemingly in place, the rest is the same boring reality.

In actuality, Jim has no goals or direction for his life beyond Pam. He’s putting all his eggs in one basket, which is a dangerous move. Jim needs to find something that makes him happy besides Pam or he will weigh her down with his overwhelming needs. Jim may want to find a way out of his rut, but he lacks the confidence and direction to find his way out of the maze. Until he can, he relies on humor to make this part of his life a little more tolerable.

At Pam’s Desk:

After watching Dwight play Second Life and even tracking him within the game, Jim is again effected by Dwight’s pain playing out in front of him. After watching Dwight walk away from Andy with slumped shoulders and obviously in further pain, Jim gets up from his desk and heads over to Pam. He greets her with his usual “Hey,” but she immediately brushes him off by telling him, “No talk, I’m animating.” She is totally immersed in her project and doesn’t even look up at him. Jim is not used to Pam refusing to drop what she’s doing to him her full attention. Instead of listening to her, he leans right in front of her and takes control of her computer. It’s his first inclination in this episode that things are not as they were in the past. 

Subconsciously, Jim is intent on inserting himself into her world, despite her reluctance to embrace his presence. Despite Jim’s support for Pam’s art, he still needs her to give him attention. After a few episodes of exploring the positive side of the past it’s a little jarring for Jim to experience Pam refusing a desk visit from him. He remembers a time when she always welcomed him leaning over the counter. Pam is clearly annoyed as Jim switches Pam’s screen from her animation to Second Life while explaining, “Why don't we take a quick ten second break from that so I can show you what's going on here. Okay, this is Dwight's Second Life. He's on it all the time. So much so that his little guy here has created his own world. It's called Second Second Life, for those people who want to be removed even further from reality.” Jim is still very empathetic to Dwight’s broken heart and knows Pam shares his soft spot for poor guy. It doesn't take long for her to join him in the bubble as they share concern for Dwight. They can’t help but feel for Dwight as both of them have experienced enough hurt for a lifetime.

The symbolism of Dwight’s Second Second Life is really apparent given Jim’s behavior in Season 3. Jim essentially tried to create a second life for himself by starting over in a new city and a new state following the devastating events of Casino Night. And now he is back in Scranton for a Second Second Life in that he’s trying to give his past life another shot. However, he is learning quickly that the past is gone and he is in a reality where both he and Pam are different people with emotions that have stretched over the span of at least five years. In a sense, Jim is having to create another life for himself that is not rooted in the past, but rather building towards a future. Unfortunately, Jim has no idea how to reconcile the past and the present. He wants the same connection and the same dynamic he previously shared with Pam, but obviously that can never be recaptured. There is no Roy and there are no barriers. This emotionally open relationship is still very new and Jim is still adjusting. This creates a sense of being a little lost as Jim has come home, only to find things can never be as they were before. 

As a result, he’s totally lost, unable to find the home he came back for. Part of him longs for the good old days as clearly exhibited in Launch Party, (the roof), but he is also recognizing those days are gone. He and Pam are more than friends and he doesn’t have to pine for her any longer. It all seems so simple, but Jim is finding it difficult to fit into his own life. He’s never been good at accepting change, (which helps to explain his ability to stay in a job he hates) and his new reality is no different. It’s hard for him to accept that they can never really go back. His participation in the game is very symbolic of the fact that Jim must change how he views himself and his life in general. He doesn’t necessarily have to drastically change as he did in Season 3, but he does need to clean the windows for a clearer view of what he wants and where he wants to go.

The concept of the bubble and Jim’s role in maintaining the bubble now makes all the more sense. The bubble is another aspect of Jim’s Second Second Life. It started as an alternate reality where the changes around him could be avoided long enough for him to bask in the euphoria of a new relationship with Pam and rebuild their connection. Now the trick becomes extending these concepts out of the bubble into his actual life with her. He ultimately must make the euphoria translate into happiness for all areas of his life, not just Pam. The last step of the bubble process is pulling off the training wheels to step into reality without a safety net. He’s been struggling with this since DMI and it appears to be growing as a problem.

Pam’s annoyance soon fades to match Jim’s sympathetic tone in regards to Dwight, “Are you serious?” Jim responds with concern, “Yeah.” Pam’s compassion begins to spill out of her as she observes, “Oh my God, he’s really in pain.” Jim breathes deeply as his empathy again takes over. Just as in Money, Jim sees a little bit of himself in Dwight. Before Jim can stop her Pam notices his avatar in the virtual reality of the game, “Who’s that?” Jim was not expecting Pam to see his little creation. He tries to avert her interest with a dismissive response, “Oh, it's just my avatar guy. Whatever.” His voice has undertones of embarrassment as Pam looks intently at his avatar. She giggles as she says, “He looks a lot like you.” Deep down Jim knows he’s not that guy, but it could be him if he really tried to strive for something else. He doesn’t look at her as he chuckles nervously. He shrugs, hoping she won’t make a big deal out of it, but it’s too late. Pam’s curiosity is already peaked. He is noticeably uncomfortable, while she continues to prod him about this incarnate of himself, “How much time did you spend on that?” His eyes remain on the computer screen except for a brief moment of eye contact with Pam meant solely to sell his answer, “Not much, it's just for tracking Dwight so . . .” Jim desperately wants the topic to end, but Pam doesn’t relent, “. . . you're a sports writer in Philadelphia?” He’s incredibly embarrassed she saw his imagined profession.

There’s no way of knowing if this is a secret ambition of Jim, but it is important to note that Jim is expressing interest in something other than selling paper for a living. However, a sports writer could be a viable profession for Jim. In both The Negotiation and The Job there is mention of Jim being a football fan and a basketball fan respectively. Furthermore, it’s known he participates in fantasy football (Initiation). Unfortunately, Jim becomes very self-conscious at Pam’s mention of his Second Life profession. He has no confidence in achieving anything beyond selling paper. He's actually good at selling reams of paper, but he has no idea if he'd be good at something else. His behavior in this segment of the scene strongly mirrors Pam’s lack of confidence in her artistic abilities prior to Season 3. She needed Jim to encourage her and provide support. 

It appears the roles have reversed and Jim now needs Pam to give him assurances that he is capable of more. Pam only increases Jim’s level of self consciousness by adding, “Nice build.” Jim has previously exhibited he is a little sensitive when it comes to his physical appearance in The Job. His new haircut received comments from Meredith that truly disturbed him. He doesn’t like his physical appearance to be the center of attention. He looks nervously into the camera out of embarrassment for himself, but he also feels Pam’s comments about his body real or imagined should be kept just between them. He uncomfortably mumbles, “Yep,” still praying this conversation will end soon. Pam, however, remains intrigued, “You have a guitar slung on your back. I did not know you played guitar.” It’s at this moment, Jim’s lack of confidence begins to flood his face. He’s not comfortable with letting Pam see this side of himself. His avatar is showing interests he’s never really shared with Pam and it’s a little scary to open up to her. Jim has always had trouble opening up when it comes to his emotions so it stands to reason this mode of behavior translates to other areas of his life. His inability to share this side of himself directly relates to his lack of confidence in having dreams.

In Casino Night he sarcastically makes the comment, “Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And, yes, they're all probably very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreams.” Jim continues to lack confidence in even allowing himself to have a dream. He doesn’t believe in himself. As a result, he isn’t letting Pam in all the way. His groundbreaking actions of blasting through his emotional barriers in Money have met their match. Jim has taken a small step back due to his own insecurities within himself. He may be a little more liberal expressing his emotions, but he is shutting off a new part of himself by refusing to let Pam explore this aspect of his persona. This also boils down to a question of trust. Jim’s previous fears of completely trusting Pam are spilling over to more than just issues of the heart. He doesn’t trust her enough to expose his vulnerabilities. As Pam continues to marvel at “Philly Jim” he stares at the screen as if he’s staring right into his soul.

Part of him can’t help but question just who he really is as well as his self worth. It’s the same question he asked himself throughout Season 3, only this time he doesn’t have a façade or strong defense mechanisms blocking him from the answer. For the first time in a while, Jim is looking at himself with deep scrutiny. He doesn’t see an answer quite yet as insecurity and low confidence block his vision, but he is looking at himself a little closer. He needs to do this in order to find just where he belongs in his own life. After a year of soul searching and a triumphant return home, Jim is now charged with the task of finding what makes him happy beyond Pam. However, Jim isn’t ready to talk about any of this with Pam. He isn’t ready for her to know this part of him. For that matter, he isn’t ready to know this part of himself. 

He is desperate to change the subject as he reaches over to Pam’s mouse to close out the game and return to her animation, “I... why don't we go back to this animation.” Pam playfully protests, “No, no, no, I want to see more of Philly Jim,” but Jim is unaffected. He quietly tries to interrupt, “No . .. . show me how this . . .” as he nervously fidgets with his tie. His voice is distant and even slightly annoyed at Pam’s prodding. His insecurities and personal confusion are overwhelming. There’s no way he’s going to let Pam see so much weakness. He doesn’t even like seeing it himself. Pam continues to tease, “I want Philly Jim.” Jim is more than aware that Pam is just teasing, but he feels the scrutiny of her pleas and is desperate to wiggle out of her curiosity. He’s made little eye contact with her, instead keeping his attention focused on the computer screen or just over her head.

He tries again to direct her attention to her animation, “Ah, show me how this works.” His tone is playful, but also very serious. He’s letting her know the subject is closed for him and luckily Pam catches the hint and yields. He shoves his hands in his pockets looking for any mode of comfort, hoping Pam’s explanation of her artwork will settle him back into the monotony of his life where he supports Pam without having to think about his own shortcomings. It’s easier to take care of her than it is to take care of himself.

End of the Day/Talking Head #2:

At the end of the day, Jim approaches Pam’s desk with his jacket on and his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He’s ready to leave work and head home with Pam by his side. It’s all he’s ever wanted and after today, he wants his fantasy turned reality more than anything. Pam is still diligently working on her animated logo for the commercial. Even though he fully supports Pam’s efforts, he is desperate to bring her back into his world, “I hope you're not killing yourself on this, because I'm sure it's good enough for Michael's ad that will probably be seen by no one.” He’s trying his best to convince her to come home with him, both in the sense of literally coming home as well as in the figurative sense of simply being with him and their relationship. He wants her to rejoin him in the bubble. Pam surprises him by firmly replying, “Maybe, but it's not good enough for me yet.” 

As proud as Jim is to see Pam so strong, FNB is still a little jarring to him at times. He didn’t expect her to be this dedicated to her project. He realizes Pam isn‘t going to budge, so he simply responds, “Okay, Do you want me to stay?” Jim’s insecurities again make themselves known as Jim clearly feels pushed aside and left out of Pam’s life. He lost on what to do, which is why he literally asks if he should stay. In a very literal sense he feels out of place and isn’t sure of his next move. His newly formed fears of losing her begin to bubble up to the surface, (see Money). She doesn’t need him as she did before and he feels the void. Pam tells him, “No, no, you can go home. I’m good.” He’s trying to go “home,” but he needs her to join him. If this trend continues, Jim’s may become more and more needy for Pam’s attention.

Outside in the parking lot Jim stands alone and engages in an impromptu talking head. His gaze is a little distant and lost as he begins to speak, “Pam is staying late tonight to uh, achieve her dreams. So I'm pretty proud of her.” He is genuinely proud of her, but part of him feels somewhat abandoned. He has no role in her current ambitions as she is providing her own encouragement. Jim goes on to state, “Unfortunately, she was my ride home.” No only is he confused about his role in Pam’s life, but she also left him without a way to get home.

This statement also carries a bit of symbolism in that Jim is becoming increasingly reliant on Pam to take the lead. She is the one who pulled him from the life he no longer wants (a life without her) and now he is reliant on her to create the life in which he always dreamed, (home). Even though he found a way to crash through his emotional barriers in Money, he is still along for the ride. If anything, he is more vulnerable and fragile in an emotional sense that he’s ever been before. His need for Pam’s reassurances has only grown. Coupled with his uncertainty on just what Pam needs from him, Jim is a little lost. Meredith hollers, “You comin’,” from across the parking lot as Jim give a bewildered look into the camera. Riding home with Meredith is not a hot item on his agenda. Jim can do nothing more but give a non-answer, “I, uh . . .” He knows he has no other way home, but he’s not crazy about getting into Meredith’s van.

Meredith’s patience is thin as she yells, “Piss or get off the pot!” Jim’s expression wields even more uncertainty and bewilderment. Jim doesn’t realize it, but Meredith’s words are little pearls of wisdom. It’s a wake up call that Jim is refusing to hear at the moment. Just as in Money, Jim needs to get of his butt and make a decision about his life. He has a choice to accept his life as it is or set a goal for something different. Essentially, Jim finds himself in the position of being back in a rut while Pam is breaking free by going after her dreams. Jim’s only dream of being with Pam has finally come true, but now he has to decide if that is enough for him. Selling paper may just be his calling in life, but he needs to make the choice to be happy with his career or get off the pot. Unfortunately, Jim is ill equipped to make this decision on his own. His previously established behavior pattern dictates he will need a catalyst to ignite a decision. 

Whether this push comes from Pam or elsewhere doesn’t negate the fact that Jim will internalize everything until something forces it out in the open, much like the events in The Job and Casino Night.

Breakfast:

Jim may have been at a loss on how to relate to Pam, but he quickly rebounds by bringing her breakfast the next morning. She is passed out at her desk and Jim can’t help but revert to his habitual mode of taking care of Pam. It’s all part of his need to be needed. After feeling left out and pushed aside the previous day, Jim needs to take care of Pam in order to feel worthy and accepted. Validation and acceptance have long been requirements to heighten Jim’s self-confidence. Pam has show him she no longer needs him as she did in previous seasons and now he feels compelled to show her she still needs him in some capacity. He’s almost trying to validate his role in her life. Subconsciously, his actions play into his fears of losing Pam. He’s attempting to get her attention by reminding her he is there for her. However, there is much more primal reason for Jim’s sweet gesture. He loves her and can’t help but find ways to show her.

Poor Richard’s:

With Pam by his side, Jim sits in Poor Richard’s and watches the commercial approved by corporate. It’s not Michael’s creative vision, but rather a glossy ad from the advertising agency. He smiles along with everyone else when the whole crew appears on the television screen waving. There is a certain amount of excitement at prospect of seeing everyone on television, but there is a little bit of pride involved with being part of something. Even if Jim hates his job, he is still part of Dunder Mifflin. He genuinely cares about the people he works with, even if they are sometimes annoying and odd. His co-workers might be his saving grace. 

There’s no doubt his job sucks the life out of him, but the people around him give it right back to him. It’s this attitude that prevails as a good-natured Jim asks the bar to put in DVD of Michael’s commercial for Dunder Mifflin. He stands up in front of everyone and announces, “Hey everybody! Just want to welcome you all to the premiere of the real Dunder Mifflin commercial, the Michael Scott director's cut. Hope you like it.” As usual, Jim is busy taking care of Michael, which is increasingly becoming a stronger role. It's almost as if Jim takes care of everyone else, (Pam, Michael, and Dwight) but himself as a way to avoid taking care of himself. It's a long established trait that Jim puts the welfare and happiness of others above himself, which is sometimes to his detriment.

At one point in the commercial, Jim is handed a piece of paper that states “Turn your life around.” In another striking turn at symbolism Jim is again being told to “Piss or get off the pot.” Unfortunately, the catalyst that will trigger him to do something is still somewhere in the distance. Once Pam’s animation fills the screen Jim’s face lights up with amazement and pride. He looks over to her and offers a nonverbal cue to let her know he is proud of her accomplishment. He applauds the commercial, but his clapping hands are meant solely for her. He reaches over a rubs her back to show his support and continuing pride. 

Jim always knew she had it in her, and he is overjoyed to see Pam go after her dreams. Jim opts to advertise Pam’s role in the commercial by telling the waiter, “Animation? All her by the way,” as he points in Pam’s direction. He wants to tell the world and show her just how proud he is of her for creating something so amazing. Two years ago, Pam wouldn’t have had the guts to even try. Jim knows this and wants to give Pam as much encouragement as possible to keep pursuing her interests. He’s never seen her so happy and he wants to keep it that way. 

The waiter readily agrees and tells Pam, “The animation was cool.” Pam happily accepts the compliment as Jim looks on. However, the waiter has other things on his mind as he shamelessly flirts with Pam, “Hey listen, you ever been on a motorcycle?” With that, all of Jim’s insecurities and fears rush to the surface. He tries to hide his annoyance and twinge of jealousy with a soft, “Ahhhhh . . .” and wraps his arm protectively around Pam. Jim’s fear of losing Pam has never been more apparent as he doesn’t let Pam handle the situation the same way he did with Ryan. The circumstances were very different, but it’s still notable that his reaction in this instance is much stronger than in DMI. Pam is a great catch, which only causes Jim to question his self worth further. She has blossomed into everything he knew she could be while he struggles to find his place.

Wrapping his arm around her is a very “Jim” way of subtlety telling the bartender to back off, but it’s also his subconscious notion of clinging to Pam. The very thought of losing her to someone else, no matter how remote the chances, burdens his mind. His happiness is linked to directly to her. Jim’s newly developed internal emotional honesty (see Money), makes him especially vulnerable and increasingly protective and reliant on his relationship with Pam.

The Bottom Line:
Jim seems to need Pam more than Pam needs Jim.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) Who will Jim’s fears and insecurities stifle more: Jim, Pam, or JAM as a whole?

2) Could Jim’s happiness with Pam override his sense of being in a rut?

3) Is Jim ready for a catalyst to spark change in his life? Does it make difference on where or with whom the catalyst originates?

 

 

In an almost seamless extension from Local Ad, Jim’s insecurities and need for acceptance continue to dominate his behavior pattern. Jim is obviously in a better place with Pam and is genuinely happier despite his continuing journey of finding his way towards True North. It’s no secret that Jim has had a little trouble readjusting to his life back in Scranton given the fact that everything around him that matters has changed, including himself to a certain degree. 

As a result, Jim is a little lost. He may be home, but the compass needle is spinning in about a million directions as he’s faced with the conundrum of figuring what direction he wants to go. He spent all of the last season with the same problem for different reasons, but the fact remains he is still lost despite finding his way back to Pam. Being with Pam can’t fill every empty space that exists within Jim. Part of him still needs to find what makes him happy beyond Pam. Jim is essentially at a crossroads in his life where he doesn’t really fit in anywhere. He’s already figured out home is not as he left it, nor is he the same man he was just a year ago. He can’t be blamed for clinging to the one thing that makes sense: Pam.

As Jim flutters aimlessly trying to find his way, he falls back on a familiar behavior pattern that was established last season when Jim found himself at odds with his co-workers in Stamford. When his confidence falters and Jim begins to question himself (as he did in Local Ad), his need for acceptance and validation skyrockets. He is unsure of his new role in Pam’s life as she spreads her wings as FNB. Her Finer Things Club builds on the notion that Jim does not fit into her life as he did before. This is a continuance of Jim feeling somewhat pushed away and excluded as Pam worked on her animated logo in Local Ad. She left him without a ride home and now in Branch Wars, she is excluding him from another aspect of her life. A balance between functioning as a couple and as individuals has yet to be found as Jim has staked much, if not all, of his happiness in Pam.

This only amplifies his newly triggered fear paradox in which he fears losing Pam. The paradox manifests itself in the fact that he is with Pam yet he still holds back and further excludes himself from Pam to a certain extent. He isn’t allowing Pam to see every part of him. At the same time, he knows all too well just how much she can hurt him, which ironically enough makes him even more needful of her reassurance and acceptance of him in her life. Jim’s paradox just became even more complicated. There’s no doubt he loves and loves being part of her life, but he continues to harbor insecurity.

Jim may have cracked the code to emotional honesty and has even found the courage to express his love for Pam by way of action, but he has yet to find the courage to let her see his vulnerabilities or allow her to see just how lost he has become in his own life. Part of him doesn’t want to pop the euphoric bubble that tells him everything in his life is perfect as long as Pam is by his side. However, reality is nipping at his heals and will eventually force him to either open up completely to Pam (providing she creates a safety net) or shut down.

Although, it is mesmerizing to watch Jim live out his dream of being with Pam, it can’t be forgotten that all new couples will hit a few bumps in the road. Right now, Jim is at a disadvantage in terms of personal growth as Pam is light years ahead of him in terms of self-awareness, confidence, and goals. Even though the gap is quite large there are enough strengths between them to help even out the playing field. Strong communication, (despite a few gaps) and belief in one another will bring JAM to an entirely new level once the hurdles have been cleared.

Michael’s Announcement:

Michael comes out of his office and announces that Stanley is leaving the Scranton branch to join the Utica branch. Karen, who is now the Regional Manager of the Utica branch, has offered Stanley more money should he transfer to her branch. Michael is clearly upset when everyone in the office applauds Stanley’s good fortune. His demeanor insists Stanley’s departure is unacceptable to him and therefore should be to everyone else. In true Michael fashion he rants, “No, no, no, no, no-no, no no. You completely misinterpreted my tone, this is a horrible thing. Clearly, Karen is trying to get back at us because Jim dumped her.” The camera pans over to Jim, who is surprisingly effected little by Michael’s remark concerning the demise of his relationship with Karen. He even responds with a touch of light sarcasm, “Oh, I don’t think that’s what’s happening.” 

First of all, Jim finds Michael’s logic to be completely ridiculous. He spent enough time with Karen to know she is too sophisticated and mature to resort to such tactics. The childish revenge Michael is implying falls beyond the scope of Karen’s personality. Secondly, Jim is far enough removed from his guilt to let the subject of Karen effect too much. She is in the far off land of Utica where the enormous mistake of dating her isn’t staring him directly in the face. Jim knows he made the right decision ending things with Karen in order to be with Pam, but he is also aware that he hurt someone who did not deserve it in the process. That being said, Karen’s hasty departure from Scranton has allowed Jim to put it behind him and move on with Pam. The issue is far removed and therefore doesn’t require really require his attention.

FTC - Denied Entry:

Jim watches as Pam sets up fancy food on a fancy serving tray. Classical music plays in the background in preparation for Pam’s Finer Things Club, (FTC). He grabs a little tidbit to nibble as he asks, “So tell me again why I can’t be part of your club?” Jim’s tone is multilayered with everything from playful banter to an air of almost pleading with Pam to be included in her club. Judging from Pam’s talking head and overlapping scenes it can be deduced that the club has been meeting for at least three months. It’s obvious from Jim’s wording that he’s been asking to be included in the club for quite some time. He uses the word “again” as if this is an old question between them. It isn’t necessarily about the club itself for Jim, its about feeling accepted and included in Pam’s life.

After a year of essentially being out of her life (by his own doing) and navigating the new waters of FNB Jim is looking for any all ways to find his place in Pam’s life. He’s already dealing with residual feelings of being pushed away in Local Ad as Pam worked on her animation instead of spending time with him. He honestly was proud of Pam for pursuing her interest with such fervor, but he was still left with a sense of being left out. This trend has actually been present since the beginning of the season. The FTC is essentially an incarnate of FNB. Jim isn’t part of many of the changes Pam has made in her life and it’s creating a certain amount of distance.

As well as Jim knows her, many of her previous characteristics are no longer in play. She is more refined and independent as the FTC clearly represents. He doesn’t fit in to all areas of her life anymore, as her needs for him have changed. This only fuels the fire of Jim’s needs to be accepted and validated with a wider role in her life. He doesn’t necessarily need to be part of the club, but he wants to know he’s at least welcome to join. This works on both a literal and figurative level. Gaining an invitation into the club lets him Pam is willing to share her life with him. Gaining a shot of validation lets Jim know she still needs him.

Pam doesn’t make eye contact with him, but Jim maintains watch on her as she answers, “Because some people think you monopolize the conversation by trying to be funny.” He nibbles on the food he stole off the tray halfway through her answer and shoots a knowing glance in her direction as she finishes speaking. He’s not at all insulted by Pam pinpointing his fault. In fact, he knows she has him pegged perfectly. His eyes follow her as she paces back to another table to get more food and he can’t help but smile at her.

It feels good that she still knows him better than anyone. Furthermore, he is eating up the fact that she is teasing him. He jokes right back, “Oscar?” knowing full well Pam is the one with the objection to his joining the club. Only she would understand his propensity to be humorous in a given situation. He is even further amused when she replies playfully, “Some people.” He enjoys the playful banter, but also realizes he can’t win. He is to remain an outsider in the aspect of Pam’s life for the time being, which leaves him still searching for additional acceptance and reassurance from Pam.

Getting Duped:

As Jim continues to hang out with Pam in the break room, Michael and Dwight blast through the door in a virtual panic. Jim’s lanky frame rests against the vending machine in a totally relaxed stance as he is pummeled with Michael’s stressed out blubbering, “Jim, we're getting crapped on. Word is that our branch sucks, and we have to do something about it.” Seeing a worked up Michael is nothing new to Jim so he handles with a calm response that‘s even tinged with a little bit of humor, “So what are you going to do?” Still on his little revenge kick Michael has a plan, “What are we going to do? We are going to make a monster sale, that's what we're going to do. Corcroan dropped Staples,” (I have no idea if “Corcroan” is correct, I’m relying on officequotes.net on that one! Where‘s a script when I need one?).

Jim snaps out of his Michael mode and immediately responds, “Did they?” His face scrunches up in confusion and is coupled with blatant interest in the fact that a big sale with Staples is up for grabs. There’s a little spark in his eye at the prospect of a challenge. This is a significant little spark in that it shows Jim isn’t necessarily bored with his job if it presents a challenge. Jim actually likes a stimulating challenge every now and again. It doesn’t often come up in his job, but when a challenge is placed before him he will likely take it on. Although his work ethic in last season was geared toward moving on from Pam, his new job was more stimulating, given the extra responsibility.

Now that he’s back at Scranton and has the very thing he tried to escape his motivation levels are down as boredom with his job has once again settled into his mindset. However, Michael’s mention of a large sale peaked his interest. This little signal presents the possibility that Jim could truly be happy at Dunder Mifflin if presented if more stimulation surrounded his job. He is simply bored with his job, which in turn makes him hate what he does. Jim is very creative (his pranks are enough proof), a people person, and a hard worker if presented with a task that interests him.

Unfortunately, his current job provides very few opportunities for Jim to utilize his talents. This is where Jim needs to start making decisions about his career and life in general. Clearly he has some interest in the sales industry as he is obviously gifted in that arena. His skills even present him with a source of confidence. He has to start asking himself if selling paper is enough. Pam cannot be the only anchor in his life. Just like every other move or decision Jim has made in his life, he needs a catalyst to push him towards taking action. Pam may be his anchor, but there is also the chance that she can be the spark as well. After all, she is his biggest motivation.

Heading to Utica:

Thinking Dwight and Michael are intent on landing a huge sale with Staples, Jim rides along in Michael’s PT Cruiser. Things begin to go awry as soon as Jim notices they have missed the exit for Corcroan. Michael hollers “Surrpise!,” with Dwight following suit soon after. Jim’s face is a mix of befuddlement, uncertainty, and confused amusement. He’s not quite sure what to think as he searches Michael’s face and surveys his surroundings with a baffled grin. After Michael and Dwight poke fun at his surprised face, Jim gets right down to business, “What are we doing?” A super hyper Dwight (he has waaaay to much sugar in his system), informs Jim they aren’t going on a sales call. Michael breaks in immediately and reveals their true mission, “We are going on a panty raid to Utica, is what we're doing.” The grin on Jim’s face immediately falls, transforming his face into a shocked and horrified expression. His stomach likely wrenched into a tight knot at the prospect of coming into contact with Karen.

Michael and Dwight are effectively throwing him right back into the ring with one angry and skilled gladiator. Jim is well aware of the mistakes he made with Karen and isn’t exactly thrilled at having to face them all over again. He stares out the window in disbelief as his eyes shift back and forth almost desperate to believe this isn’t really happening. He looks straight at Michael and asks, “We’re going to Utica?” with a continued air of desperation tinged with aggravation at Michael’s blatant disregard for his past with Karen. Michael is oblivious to Jim’s apprehension and obnoxiously answers, “Uh-huh.” Jim is still stunned at this turn of events as he quietly states, “I’m not going to Utica today.” Jim’s intent with this statement is to tell Michael he’s not going, but his strength has abandoned him leaving him weak and unguarded. Michael hit him in a sore spot where he had no defense in place, figuring Karen was a done deal he wouldn’t have to contemplate any further.

On another level, he doesn’t want to accept his misfortune and immediately goes into a short-lived denial to allow his brain to catch up to his situation. He just can’t face the person he hurt just a few months before. The past is calling back to him in a very different way as his mistakes refuse to simply let him be. Jim carries around a load of guilt for all his antics with Karen. He is well aware she didn’t deserve to be caught in the firestorm of his own self-destruction. Furthermore, his last known encounter with her in the kitchen (Fun Run) was not pretty. Jim doesn’t handle confrontation well and is likely a little afraid of facing both Karen’s temper and his error in judgment.

Michael refuses to relent, “Yes you are. Oh, buckle up Jim.” As the reality of the situation sets in, Jim is overcome with mental nausea. His mind is spinning and swirling with a thousand different scenarios of what could go wrong. With disoriented eyes he quietly, yet desperately utters, “No.” His eyes continue to shift frantically, searching for a way out of his predicament. His fears of confrontation overwhelm him as he knows the encounter will not go well. Michael continues to make things worse by hitting Jim right where it hurts, “We are going to make Karen wish that she had never been dumped by you.” He feels those words shoot right through him.

Jim knows he hurt Karen, and to a certain extent that hurts him. He may not have loved her, but he did care for her. She did nothing wrong, yet she paid the ultimate price of a broken heart. Jim can empathize with her pain better than anyone. Knowing he is the cause of it weighs on him heavily. Jim looks away with a mix of guilt and apprehension on his face. His hand immediately engages in his sometimes nervous tic of playing with his hair when cornered with difficult circumstances. He scratches his head and runs his fingers through his hair as if he trying to find the magic answer to all of his problems. He is essentially entering a battlefield where he has no defense.

Amidst chants of “Utica, Utica, Utica” from Michael and Dwight, Jim sits in a quandary as anger and annoyance define his thoughts. As he pulls out his cell phone he voices his displeasure, “I can't believe you guys. I'm not gonna go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.” He knows he’s not ready to face her and he knows all too well that Karen will give him the reaming of the century if he runs into her. He’s not about to put himself in that position if he can help it. He holds his phone up to his ear waiting for the other end to answer. Michael accuses him of calling Karen, to which Jim adamantly denies. Of course, Michael doesn’t buy it and incites Dwight to take Jim’s cell phone. Dwight is all too happy to oblige and grabs Jim’s cell phone. Jim is infuriated as he struggles to maintain a grasp on his phone, but it slips from his fingers and flies out the window of the car courtesy of Dwight.

Jim is beyond angry at this point at both Michael and Dwight’s antics. Not only are they pulling him into his worst nightmare, but now they’ve chucked his phone out the window. He looks at Michael with another round of aggravated disbelief, “Are you kidding me?” He continues to leer at Michael with a somewhat clenched face as Michael insists, “It had to be done. It had to be done.” In disgust, Jim shifts his gaze to the passenger window and releases his anger with a fresh batch of sarcasm meant to let Michael and Dwight know their behavior is unacceptable, “Well, that kind of sucks, because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it, so…” This segment really shows one of Jim’s strongest assets as an individual. Even when he’s angry he is able to maintain control of himself and his behavior. He knows the situation is out of hand and there’s really nothing he can do. Instead of throwing a fit, he maintains a quiet dignity. His comments surrounding the baby pictures on his phone are enough to get Michael and Dwight’s attention and realize their own stupidity.

To Jim’s credit he didn’t yell or scream over the incident with his phone, instead he simply played his strongest card. Michael and Dwight are idiots but they can certainly understand Jim’s emotional attachment to his family. Moments later they are on the side of the road, searching for Jim’s phone.

Playing Along:

Once Jim locates his phone he informs Michael he will be calling a cab to make his way back to Scranton. However, he changes his mind once he finds out Michael and Dwight’s plans to hit Utica with gasoline bombs and silly string. Jim immediately realizes Michael and Dwight both need a babysitter. Once again, he takes on the role of a father figure by watching over both of them. It’s a role he’s had from the very beginning as he is usually the only rational thinker in the building aside from Pam. His character’s symbolic role of normalcy and morality again play out as Michael and Dwight’s lunacy must be balanced out by some semblance of reason. Despite his better judgment he dons a warehouse uniform and a fake mustache in the hopes of preventing acts of stupidity while avoiding Karen at the same time. It almost seems fitting that Jim should arrive in Karen’s realm wearing a disguise. Karen never really saw the real Jim as he hid behind his carefully constructed disguise of New Jim throughout Season 3. A fake mustache is reminiscent of his façade of ill-fitting suits and emotions.

Jim now finds himself barreling towards Utica in a ridiculous disguise, while also having his patience further tested by Michael uncouth inquiries. Without a second thought, Michael asks, “So, why did you and Karen break up?” Jim shakes his head in annoyance. If he could will Michael’s mouth shut, he would. Michael prods even further, “Was it the sex?” Jim’s head snaps towards Michael in another wave of irritation. He can’t believe (and yet he can) that Michael just asked that question. Jim isn’t about to talk about any aspect of his relationship with Karen, (especially in terms of sex), least of all with Michael. Jim is by nature a very private person anyway, but his relationship with Karen has the added bonus of ending badly. It’s not his favorite topic of discussion now or ever. However, Michael refuses to drop the subject and wander off into even more inappropriate territory, “I can't imagine the sex being bad, I mean her body is…” Jim is absolutely horrified, but manages to keep his cool. 

Reverting to babysitter mode, he uses the time honored tactic of distraction to redirect Michael’s attention, “Okay, you know what? . . . Why don't we play that alphabet game that you were talking about?” As usual, Michael is receptive and immediately goes into a rhyme with the letter “A.” He has successfully distracted Michael, but he soon finds himself in his own version of Adventures in Babysitting (remember that movie?). Between Dwight’s urine, a can, and Michael’s erratic driving, Jim has his hands full with the “kids.”

The chaos of this scene is a direct contrast to the subsequent scene of Pam’s FTC taking place back in Scranton. Her corresponding moment is a picture of civility and order while he is careening into disaster. The contrast provides a glowing representation of the status of both Jim and Pam in terms of personal growth. Pam has found peace with herself and her goals, while Jim is hanging on for dear life as he searches for direction. The incongruence between them in this area has never been more apparent.

Utica Parking Lot:

Jim waits in the car as Dwight and Michael head into the Utica branch offices. He mans the walkie talkie, listening to ridiculous updates of their progress. He continues his babysitting duties by trying to talk Dwight and Michael out of stealing the branch’s industrial copier. His concern quadruples as he hears disaster ensue over the speaker. No amount of logic or reason can save Michael and Dwight at this point. All he can do is listen with his mouth hanging open. However, his problems are about to hit nightmare status as Jim catches sight of Karen in the parking lot. In a single hurried motion he signals the camera to duck as he crouches down below the window as much as his tall frame will allow him. 

Michael’s panic continues as he tells Jim to take Karen to a hotel and make love to her. Jim is horrified by Michael’s statement, but his concern of being caught overrides any discomfort caused by Michael. Michael continues on this topic as Jim continues to refuse. All the while, the cameraman can’t help but ignore Jim’s earlier request to stay down. The frame zooms in on Karen in the parking lot, who soon notices the camera focused on her. Jim notices the camera’s angle as well and freaks out silently. He pushes the camera back down and shoots an aggravated and desperate face in the lens, “What are you doing?” He then looks up directly at the cameraman, mouthing, “C’mon, man” as part of a desperate plea to keep him hidden.

All of Jim’s efforts to stay under Karen’s radar meet with failure as Karen taps on the window calling, “Jim?” Caught. He resituates himself into an upright position, completely defeated. He opens the window and does all he knows to do to mitigate the damages. In a friendly tone he greets her, “Hey Karen.” His body is aching with discomfort, but he does his best to appear as if he is relaxed and everything is normal. Karen is surprised to say the least, “Uh, what are you doing here?” Jim is at a loss on how to answer her, so he goes into his patented mode of self-defense. He tries to turn on the charm, hoping to redirect Karen curiosity, “First of all, hi.” He tries to smile warmly and uses a friendly and kind tone.

Karen doesn’t budge and again asks him, “What are you doing here.” Only this time she is more serious and forceful. She’s learned her lesson in falling for Jim’s charms. Jim attempts one last ditch effort to get her warm up to him, “You good?,” but he can see immediately that Karen is non-responsive. The tactic of charm quickly evolves into a lame excuse, “I'm just checking on the other branches. Michael wants me to do that from time to time, so…” He can’t believe that’s the best he can think of, but he looks at Karen with slight hope that she will buy it. However, the rational part of him knows full well Karen is too smart to buy into something so ridiculous.

Of course, his real reason for being in that parking lot is far more insane than anything Karen could fathom. As if on cue, Dwight’s voice comes over the walkie-talkie, “Do not tell Karen about the industrial copier.” Busted again. All Jim can do is find a small bit a humor as he faces Karen’s glare, “Copy that.” Her nervously smiles in her direction, knowing things have completely fallen apart. A disguise on any level isn’t going to hide him; he’s got nowhere to run.

Karen’s Office:

Jim, Michael, and Dwight sit in Karen’s office with the same demeanor as students in a principal’s office. Jim sits quietly as Karen basically scolds them for their behavior at her branch. Michael and Dwight only make matters worse by threatening to burn Utica to the ground. Jim is beyond embarrassed by association. Michael leads the way out of Karen’s office and Jim is quick to follow hoping to escape another confrontation with Karen. However, Karen has other plans, “Jim, hang on a second?” Jim stiffens with nervous anxiety at Karen’s request. He whispers a soft, “Yes” as he realizes his hope to escape is completely blown. He looks at the camera knowing he is in a lot of trouble. 

This meeting was inevitable at some point, but Jim was hoping it would be later rather than sooner. Jim generally tries avoid confrontation at all costs (The Coup and The Carpet come to mind). He’s never been very good at standing up for himself due to low confidence in some areas of his life. Women and relationships definitely qualify as an area of low confidence. He’s about to face his two weaknesses all in one shot. All his earlier reasons for avoiding Utica are staring him right in the face. Karen’s strong exterior is forbidding, but Jim can see right through her. He can see her pain and scorn, despite her best effort to put up a strong front. His own experience at the same game, makes him an expert at spotting a façade. He tries to approach the situation with as much grace as possible, by once again relying on his charm and good nature to lighten the mood. Jim knows things ended badly between them and he would like to reconcile the pain he caused. He doesn’t expect to make a new best friend, but he does want to soften some of the hard feelings between them. Part of this emanates from Jim’s difficulty with people having a negative opinion of him. He needs to fit in and gain validation. He made a mistake with her and he takes responsibility for that, but part of him still needs to make things right with her. 

He sits down and smiles at her with his boyish grin, hoping it’ll be enough to make way for a civilized conversation. Jim has always relied on his charm to get his way with people and pull pranks. It’s a huge asset in his arsenal of people skills. Karen stares him down and asks, “So you’re still doing this kind of stuff, huh?,” with a disappointed tone. It’s no secret she attempted to change Jim in many regards, with his pranks and playful nature sitting at the top of her list. He sits in front of her like a child with his hands folded as she criticizes his behavior. As per his usual self defense barriers, he uses humor to deflect her disapproval, “Yeah, trying to quit though.” Karen is unimpressed and proceeds to rip into him with every bit of contempt she’s compiled since Jim dumped her, “If you wanted to see me, you could have just called me like an adult.” She is clearly taunting him into a fight where she is prepared to rip him to shreds. Jim knows this, yet is completely unprepared.

The jab at his maturity sends Jim deeper into his defense mode, but he is barely prepared to deal with Karen’s offensive. He was already caught off guard by being in Utica in the first place. This unexpected confrontation with Karen is pummeling an already weak defensive line. Weak defenses are coupled with low confidence as Jim completely blames himself for what happened with Karen. He knows he doesn’t have a leg to stand on with her, which makes him a sitting duck. The blocking of the scene itself, shows Jim is at a disadvantage. Karen is standing taller than him as she leans against her desk. He practically has a target on his forehead as he sits at a lower level. As a result, Jim is all thumbs when it comes to responding to Karen’s taunts. Cue foot in mouth syndrome.

Jim loses his ability to finesse his way through a situation when he is cornered. Before Jim can stop himself he says, “Oh no, I didn't want to see you.” As soon as the words fly out of his mouth he wants to reach out and take them back. It was the complete wrong thing to say at the wrong time. He immediately tries to compensate, “Not that I'm not happy seeing you, right now, I'm just saying ultimately I was here for the copier. Equal, I'd say it was equal.” He babbles relentlessly as he tries to figure out how to be polite without giving her the wrong idea. He’s not happy to see her, but he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings anymore than he already has. It’s a Catch-22 where anything he says is wrong. He tries to smile as he speaks, but it doesn’t hide his nerves and squirming discomfort. He can feel the scrutiny of Karen’s disdain for him and it’s incredibly unsettling.

He can see he’s meeting with minimal success as Karen’s hurt starts to show on her face. He tries one more time to save face by almost speaking under his breath, “So, good to see you . . .” He knows that look all to well as he wore the same face for the better part of a year. It’s like looking in a mirror, only he has a splash of his own guilt to mix into the pot. He did this to her and she didn’t deserve it. This makes him even more nervous as he knows Karen is giving him everything he deserves. He just wants it all to stop, but the end is nowhere in sight. He looks directly at her and can see everything he said is only making her feel worse. Furthermore, he can feel Karen’s scrutiny piercing right into him and it sends into panic mode. Jim’s rational thought is again suspended as he says the first thing that comes to mind, “I mean, it's just that- You know, Pam and I are still dating, so, and, I just mean that things are going really well, so I didn't want to see... You…” His nerves propel him into thinking he needs to justify his reasons for avoiding her, but everything he says continues to come out completely wrong. The last thing Jim intended to do was hurt Karen by flaunting his relationship with Pam. He’s already in the doghouse, he doesn’t need to make it worse for himself. The combination of his nerves, discomfort, and panic gave him little time to think of any other way to deflect Karen’s death stare. Furthermore, her earlier jab at his maturity level still stings. Pam is a safe haven and Jim naturally went to thoughts of her to save him.

Unfortunately, those same thoughts came flying out of his mouth. He knows it’s wrong halfway through his statement, but his foot remains firmly entrenched in his mouth as he continues to ramble. He’s dug himself in a hole and has nowhere to go but deeper. The last part of his explanation, “I didn’t want to see . . .you,” pinpoints Jim’s awareness that he has said too much. He knows he hurt her again, although it wasn’t his intention. The wrath of Karen knows no bounds as it swallows Jim alive, “Oh, things are going really well? Are they? They are? That's great, that's so great.” Her comments are dripping with scathing sarcasm. Jim can do nothing but sit and take it as she rips into him. He lets out a nervous smile as he mentally kicks himself. Part of him has to laugh at his own stupidity and the situation in general. He can’t fight her as he feels she has a right to respond this way. He takes the blame for everything.

She continues her rant, “I wanna hear more about how happy you are with Pam. Can you tell me more about that?” Jim feels himself slipping further into loser-land and can’t help but smirk at the situation. It’s getting out of hand and a little over the top. He understands Karen is angry but he’s not about to submit himself to any more of Karen’s fury. He doesn’t need anymore confirmation that there is no chance for peace between them. Karen’s verbal onslaught goes even further and is further drenched in angry sarcasm, “Thank you so much for coming to Utica, and breaking my copier, and telling me how well things are going in your relationship, really, thank you.” At this point, Jim has had enough. He’s tired of having his ass handed to him on a silver platter. That being said, Jim is not going to fight back or sling mud in return. He knows he's in the wrong and would only exacerbate the situation. There’s no point in trying to rectify the situation as Karen is clearly still mad at him. 

Despite his empathy for Karen’s position he can help but respond with a touch of sarcasm as a result of his own frustration, “Alright, you are welcome. I'm going to go because of, um, traffic.” He slowly gets up from the couch and makes his way toward the door, hoping to dodge Karen’s verbal bullets. His excuse of traffic is lame, and Jim knows it, but really it doesn’t matter. He turns to face her before walking out the door. Part of him still wants to salvage the situation. He keeps searching for some miraculous phrase that will quell Karen’s pain and anger. His guilt is multiplying as the result of his actions continues to play out ferociously in front of him, “Traffic, yeah. Oh, def- go, go because of traffic, definitely, beat-beat the traffic, mm-hmm.” Her contempt continues to amplify Jim’s nerves and sense of defeat into a virtual state of helplessness. His moral center continues to hope he can find the right words as he slowly retracts from her office. However, he realizes it’s a losing battle despite his best intentions. He sputters a few awkward parting words that do little to convey his regret and guilt for hurting Karen, “I... will... “ He walks away with his shoulders slumped in total humiliation.

Back in Scranton:

Jim walks back into the Scranton offices with his gaze firmly on Pam. He smiles and raises his eyebrows at her in relief. She is the most comforting thing he’s seen in hours. He hangs his jacket on the coat rack and walks slowly past her desk, stealing another glance. It’s steeped in non-verbal cues. He’s acknowledging their failure in losing Stanley, but there’s also a hint of his own failure in dealing with Karen. He lets her know it’s been a rough day with one small smirk. He knows Pam understands him and after his dealings with Karen, it feels reassuring to know she’s “listening.” If anyone can put him back together again, it’s Pam.

Pam’s Desk:

The battering Jim took in Utica still weighs heavy on his shoulders as he wanders over to Pam’s desk. He leans on her desk knowing he’ll find solace and peace with the one person that understands him better than anyone. He greets her with a weary, yet warm, “Hey.” She is his comfort zone and he needs her now more than ever. All he needs is a little escape into the bubble to lick his wounds and live all the reasons why he left Karen. Unexpectedly, Pam brings up the very subject he’d like to avoid for the time being, “I'm so sorry, Rolando told me everything. How humiliating.” Jim hangs in head almost embarrassed as he lets out a small groan. He doesn’t expect her to be privy to his earlier humiliation and feels very exposed and vulnerable. Of all people, he doesn’t want Pam to see this weakness.

His head hangs low and close to his body as if he’s trying to hide. Furthermore, he’s literally exhausted with facing his demons. Part of him knows he can talk about this with Pam, while the rest of him doesn’t want her to see his wrongdoing. Karen was a mistake in every possible way that hurt her, himself, and even Pam. Jim knows this and feels the weight of that guilt. He knows he probably got what he deserved, but he doesn’t want Pam to see just how capable he is of hurting someone else. He can barely stand to know that about himself.

Just when he feels the weight of it all crushing him from all directions, Pam steps in and begins to pick up the pieces by giving him a shot of much needed assurance, “Would it help you to return to another age? A time of refinement, and civility.” He begins to lift his head as she speaks, somewhat grateful the subject has shifted to something different. Pam holds a plate up in front of him and pulls off a cloth napkin to reveal fancy bits of food on a sophisticated plate. His face begins to light up and he feels Pam’s warmth surround him.

Just as in The Job, her summer contradicts the cold of Karen’s winter. He knows she did it to cheer him up and it means the world to him. He looks at her appreciatively and asks, “Are you inviting me to the Finer Things Club?” His earlier need to be in Pam’s club is again in play. It’s not that Jim necessarily wants to be in the FTC, but he needs to know he is welcome. He needs to feel that acceptance from Pam, especially at a time when his ego took a hit right in the gut. He already knows the answer by looking at her face. For the moment, his fears of losing Pam are quelled and his confidence is bolstered.

FTC – Angela’s Ashes:

As per Pam’s invitation Jim joins the FTC as they discuss the book, Angela’s Ashes. It’s apparent from the start that Jim is out of place. He isn’t comfortable in this setting as it doesn’t mesh with his laid back personality. In an attempt to brush off his uneasiness, Jim resorts to humor as a means to create a pocket of comfort. In an Irish accent Jim says, “Angela's Ashes, top o' the morning to us. Frankie's prose is funnier than a pot of gold, say I.” Humor has always been Jim’s “in” for most situations and he’s hoping for the same thing now. Unfortunately, everyone in the room is onto him, especially Pam. After subtle a reprimand from Oscar, Jim settles down and tries to take the FTC a little more seriously, “Yep. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought was uh, a fun read.” It’s obvious he hasn’t read the book, but his own need to be part of Pam’s world and have her acceptance causes him to do all he can to fit into the group.

Toby calls him out on his lack of effort in reading the book. Jim begins to squirm under Toby’s pressure, again carrying the demeanor a student who has been caught not paying attention. He fidgets with his fingers and gets defensive under Toby’s questioning. Oscar joins in soon after as the target on Jim’s forehead reappears. Toby hits him with one more question, “Who was the main character?,” to which Jim has no answer. Trying to save face Jim takes his best guess, “Angela. Nope. Ashes.” Jim was hoping his smooth charm and humor would help him blend into Pam’s world, but he found out the hard way it can’t always save him. Part of him knows he let Pam down by failing to take the FTC seriously, but he also knows it’s something that just isn’t him. He looks over at Pam knowing she is uncomfortable with his rambling and he does feel bad. Her offer to allow him to join the club meant a great deal to him, but he now knows it’s something he can’t share with her. Jim has yet another taste of understanding he can’t fit into every aspect of Pam’s life. He has to find a path for himself.

The Bottom Line:

Jim has yet to find the cheese hiding in the maze.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) Is Jim aware of his faults?

2) Who did Jim call on his cell phone?

3) Does Jim love Pam for who she is today or just because he’s always loved her? Is loving her just a habit? (Please don’t throw garbage at me for asking this question!)

4) Does Jim need to change? Does he want to change?

 

While Michael struggles to find self-awareness “deep” in the Pennsylvania wilderness, Jim finds himself in a similar environment within the confines of Dunder Mifflin. Both men parallel each other as they navigate the rapids of self-awareness and swim in their own errors. Although Jim’s jaunt into the wilderness is devoid of trees, duct tape, and dirt, he still finds himself surrounded by wild animals who are willing to eat him alive if he doesn’t grant their birthday wishes. Amidst the frustration and exhaustion that characterizes Jim’s day as boss, he walks away with a new sense of self. For once, his day wasn’t boring and didn’t require his own brand of entertainment.

A work ethic does exist when Jim feels he has a purpose. Selling paper all day doesn’t give Jim a sense of purpose, however keeping the office running smoothly gives him a reason to care. Jim has a hard time choosing a direction when he is left to his own devices, however when a direction is thrust upon him he usually rises to the challenge. Jim often needs a catalyst to propel him to explore beyond his usual boundaries. Michael’s decision to put Jim in charge of the office for the day gave Jim a unique experience that allowed him to see himself in a different light. It all ties into to Jim’s need for validation. His need to be needed doesn’t just apply to Pam. Essentially, Jim learned he liked being in a position of leadership to a certain degree. He saw something in himself he never really acknowledged before and it built up his confidence. He liked having people depend on him, even though he could’ve done without his co-workers’ petty behavior.

Although, Jim was more than happy to hand the reins back over to Michael, he learned enough about himself to realize he has a couple directions in which to choose. Whereas before, Jim wandered aimlessly trying to figure out just where he fit into his own life, he is now starting to see his options really aren’t that complicated. It all comes down to two choices: He can either accept his life’s current course or he can pursue another avenue. Acceptance of this choice is the real change that Jim needs to make. He has already come full circle in terms of finding his way home in realizing he can’t be something he’s not, (see JPS3 for the rundown). His happiness has already been found in the arms of Pam, however, total contentment lies in accepting his life as it stands or as it could be. He doesn’t have the answer yet, but Jim’s picture of himself 10 years from now is starting to come into focus.

Hypothetical Game/TH #1:

Jim is stuck in Michael’s office playing yet another round of Michael’s hypothetical game. As per Jim’s talking head, this is a game they often play. Michaels asks Jim if he’d be willing to go camping with him under a hypothetical guise, to which Jim replies “Absolutely. Yes.” In an overlapping talking head, Jim explains he always says yes to Michael’s hypothetical situations because he is always busy. He says it with a smile on his face, seeing as it’s like a little game for him. In this instance, he informs Michael he can’t go camping because he has to give blood. Michael is skeptical, indicating Jim has used this excuse more than once before.

For once Michael is on top of things and asks, “How often can you actually donate blood?” Jim realizes he is caught, but does his best to wiggle out of the situation, “Is there a limit?” He looks at the camera as he speaks, acknowledging the corner he’s just back himself into. Michael pins him further, “Your body only has a certain amount.” Jim takes this opportunity to remove himself from the situation with classic redirection, “Well, is that it or . . .” as he tries to get up and leave. Michael, however, has other ideas and starts talking more about the idea of camping. He starts off by explaining how camping can be interpreted as gay with “a bunch of guys in tents, making sm’ores.” Jim is thoroughly amused watching Michael’s ignorance and insecurities play out before him.

He can’t help but smile and watch in wonderment as Michael uses just about every inappropriate euphemism for homosexuality. Michael goes on to explain that camping should only be one person out in the wilderness, but corrects himself and adds, “or two guys if your plans change.” Jim doesn’t miss a beat and responds, “Not going to change.” This segment of the conversation is symbolic of Jim’s current state of mind. Jim’s refusal to go camping is somewhat representative of his subconscious refusal to reach out and explore beyond the confines of the norm. He’s maintained a job he hates for years, for the simple fact that he is content to a certain degree. Jim’s laid back stance on life in general prevents him from breaking through his own rut, despite his disdain for the boredom his job entails.

The reluctance to “change plans” is also rooted in Jim’s patented fear paradox. Jim is a creature of habit and to a certain extent he fears change and the unknown. Even the concept of a hypothetical has ties to Jim’s fears. In Phyllis’s Wedding, Jim toyed with the hypothetical notion that Pam might have feelings for him, but his fears if getting hurt held him back from exploring the possibilities. Remaining in the lagoon instead of heading out to open waters is not a new tactic. Jim has long been complacent in simplicity and the norm, despite sometimes fending off boredom. It generally doesn’t take much to make him happy. That being said, he has come to a point in his life where the bare minimum is no longer sufficient.

Now that he has Pam, he has found there is more to life than just waking up every morning and longing for the love of his life. He now has begun to question his own self worth and just what he can offer Pam. Part of him wonders if he is good enough for Pam, but he is also afraid to find out the answer. In some respects, maintaining the status quo allows him to avoid the question. What he needs is a good kick in the pants to force him to see outside his own borders.

The symbolism continues as Michael explains his reasoning for wanting to escape to the wilderness, “I want to do it myself, you know. I want to go and . . and find out something about myself. I want to get out of here. All the cliques, and the office politics, fluorescent lights, and the asbestos.” Jim essentially found himself when he returned home, however he failed to find just where he fits into his old life. The pieces just don’t fit anymore as so much has changed in terms of his relationship with Pam and himself. The result is a reduced sense of self. 

Even though he dropped the façade of New Jim, he still isn’t the same man he was before Casino Night. It‘s this adjustment that is throwing Jim for a loop and creating a sense of being lost. Remaining in the confines of Dunder Mifflin has created somewhat of a safety net. Jim has always given the impression of wanting to leave Dunder Mifflin for all the reasons Michael listed, with the addition of boredom, but he lacks a strong sense of self to actually explore anything beyond his current employment. It’s safe and in some respects it provides him with a way to define himself.

Jim doesn’t necessarily lack total self-awareness, but he does have a gap when it comes to stretching his boundaries. He doesn’t typically test himself or reach beyond what he knows. Jim responds to Michael’s statements with a knowing yet sarcastic affirmative nods and vocalizations. He knows he wants to get “out of here” as well, but he won’t for fear of what he might find. He’d rather face asbestos than the unknown. Little does he know, his safe haven has plenty of challenges and unknowns waiting to open his eyes and provide the impetus for self-discovery.

Jim is in Charge:

Before Michael sets off on his adventure into the wilderness, he ensures Jim embarks on his own journey of discovery. As Michael’s number two, Jim is put in charge of the office until Michael returns. Beforehand, Jim actually expresses concern over Michael’s decision to isolate himself in the wilderness, which is beautifully symbolic of Jim’s own fears. While Michael is willing to go out into the wilderness, Jim is not. Self-discovery with a “survive or die” mentality is not Jim’s cup of tea. He prefers a safety net to catch him if he falls.

Michael is essentially Jim’s catalyst to overcome his fears and try something different. For the first time Jim is taking control the office and eventually his life without the stifling shield of the façade he created last season. Jim accepts his role as leader without hesitation, thinking it’s not a big deal. Aside from that, he is simply too amused with Michael’s behavior. Jim’s humor concerning Michael’s antics is part of what makes him view his newly acquired responsibility so lightly. He doesn’t think Michael’s job is that hard. Michael is an idiot, so clearly the job can’t be that demanding.

Before Michael takes his leave he tells Jim “Do not follow me,” to reiterate his intent to survive in the wilderness on his own (although it’s likely another plea for Jim to join him!). Jim still won’t take the bait and flatly says, “Okay, great.” Camping with Michael sounds like nothing short of a nightmare as does a more figurative interpretation of Michael’s statement. Jim has no intention of following in Michael’s footsteps in any feasible way. Whether it’s into the woods or a regional manager’s office, Jim still clings to the belief that he will throw himself in front of a train before his career is tied to Dunder Mifflin.

The irony of it all is that Jim is actually good at his job and has leadership qualities. He has exhibited strong leadership qualities previously in The Fire (parking lot games), Office Olympics (game organizer), Back From Vacation (sales meeting) and pranks in general. He knows how to run a show if given the opportunity. He just won’t allow himself to see he could actually be happy at Dunder Mifflin. To a certain extent Jim always believed this job would be temporary, but his perpetual contentment (and fears) always prevented him from exploring anything further. He’s used humor and sarcasm towards his job as a way of shielding the reality that he may never leave. This really could be his life, but his own paradox refuses to allow him to see it isn’t the end of the world. Part of him doesn’t want to believe Dunder Mifflin is his life, while the rest of him can’t imagine his life without the mid-size paper company. Thus, his current status of feeling lost and insecure. He’s not sure what path to follow and he spins relentlessly in a million different directions. Up to this point, he has yet to realize he really only has two directions from which to choose: stay or leave.

Michael’s speech isn’t quite over as he reiterates the solitary nature of his quest, “This is a very personal, private experience in the wild, that I wish to share it with me, myself and I.” The same is true of Jim’s personal quest. No one can help him find his direction, nor the path to his own happiness. It’s something he must do on his own. There may be guiding lights from Pam and catalysts that point him in the right direction, but ultimately he must find his own path . No amount of duct tape or a knife will help as Jim needs to smash through his fears and continual sense of contentment.

It can be argued that Jim is sometimes content to a fault. Very often he lets the bare minimum satisfy him as means to avoid his fears of the unknown. He’ll never get anywhere unless he starts exploring. Michael ends his little speech by saying, “When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being.” Jim’s humor continues to dominate his perception of Michael. He again uses his flat, yet slightly sarcastic to respond, “That’d be great.” He may be mocking Michael, but Jim will soon find his adventure has just begun and it will change his perception of himself and his life.

Revolutionizing the Birthday Party/TH #2:

It appears to be just another day until Angela comes up to Jim’s desk requesting a cake for Creed’s birthday party. Jim is already noticeably put off by the prospect of another office birthday party as he responds, “Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday?” Angela is quick to point out that it’s birthday month and Jim’s expression of disenchantment only deepens. He may be able to put up with the boredom of his job, but another lame birthday party is something he can do without. Jim often looks for ways to avoid work, but clearly co-worker birthday celebrations are not one of his tactics.

His subsequent talking head confirms his disdain and annoyance with Michael’s birthday party tactics. He easily lists all the faults in the tradition of a Dunder Mifflin birthday party, “Michael gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. There are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are. . .And the other is something inappropriate. Or horrible. Or both. What else? He only sings the high harmony to ‘Happy Birthday.’ And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault.” Jim’s voice is laced with his usual brand of sarcasm as he lists each complaint. He even emphasizes the fact that he must endure all of this thirteen times a year.

In an interesting twist, Jim’s annoyance actually serves as a catalyst to use his position as manager to makes some changes. He’s tired of Michael’s birthday tactics and decides he can do a better job. Jim is able to take this leap, because he doesn’t consider this work related. It’s something that can be fun, and he has experience in being successful when it comes to leading fun. As Angela describes Michael’s usual plans for using red and white streamer, Jim interrupts, “You know what, I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big shared party?” This makes so much more sense to him and it might actually be fun. However, Angela sees things quite differently as she angrily protests, “What?!” Jim tries to rationalize his idea by explaining further, “We can just have one big fun party. Everybody's happy, nobody wastes their time.” Jim truly believes in the logic of his idea from the standpoint of fun but also in terms of saving time. 

It seems odd that Jim would care about productivity, but he is in a position of authority and decides to use the rhetoric of saving time to further his idea. The idea of productivity is even reinforced in his talking head. Jim’s tone is actually very boss-like, which shows he has the potential to lead hiding inside his usual laid back exterior. He’s even falling into the classic new boss trap of believing he can make everyone happy (a phase in which Michael has never broken free).

Jim’s adventure into his very own wilderness has officially begun. He has no idea that his decision to change the status quo is going to give him new insight into himself and his life. Jim’s explanation for the one party plan immediately falls on deaf ears as Angela states in a huff, “I don’t like it,” before she turns and walks away leaving a trail of scorn behind her. Jim is a little dazed by Angela’s response as it was totally unexpected. He can’t even begin to understand why his idea was rejected by Angela, which makes him all the more determined. In some cases, Jim simply can’t resist the challenge.

Pam’s Support:

Angela’s scorn is quickly replaced by Pam’s friendly face as she walks up to Jim’s desk. He looks up at her as she playfully taps his desk while asking, “Wow, you’re shaking things up a bit, huh?” After Angela’s rejection, Jim desperately needs Pam’s support and validation, but he can tell by her tone that she is also not a fan of his birthday revolution. However, he easily picks up on her humor and playful nature. In some respects he can still read Pam like a book. He knows when she’s prodding him into some playful banter. She is challenging him in a fun way and that further sparks his determination. In contrast to Angela’s response, Jim feels encouraged and supported, despite Pam’s obvious misgiving’s to his plan. Jim opts to try and convince her otherwise by insisting, “It’s a pretty good idea, don’t you think?” It’s his little way of ensuring she is supporting him, as he needs to know she’s in his corner even if she disagrees.

On another level, he’s also shooting back a silent argument. In classic example of subtext he is challenging her further, that he is right and she is wrong in a very lighthearted way. His eyes twinkle at her as he can’t help but be sucked in by the game she is playing. Pam fires right back with a continual playful and slightly sarcastic tone, “Do you think it’s a good idea?” He can almost hear her saying, Prove it, along with an invisible wink. Her sarcasm is not lost on him and it urges him to strike back with equal fervor. Refusing to lose face, he chuckles inside. He is just eating up her humor filled argument. He looks down and his desk and feigns an expression of defeat, although a slight grin remains on his face. He speaks in a raspy and depressing voice, “No. . .” before he looks up with a devilish grin. He responds with his own challenge, “I think it’s a great idea,” by looking her straight in the eye with a playful yet resolute face. Hiding in his smile is a silent, You’re on , that only Pam will understand. He’s not about to give in and suddenly the prospect of change has become even more fun. 

There’s a little bit of ego involved, but Jim’s primary focus in this situation is connecting to Pam. The art of nonverbal communication is at it’s finest as Jim and Pam speak to each other beyond simply words. It is the cornerstone of their communication network and it continues to grow. Both are reading each other with more accuracy as humor based communication combines with nonverbal. Above all else, they understand each other’s humor, which will lead to a more accurate read on deeper levels. Jim understands that Pam is goading him into an argument of playful banter, but he also sees that it is a means of support. He needs that validation and it gives him a surge of confidence. He sees Pam’s eyes gleam with humor and a feisty flare as she utters a lighthearted, “Hmmmm. . .” He fell in love with her just a little bit more as she walked away. Out of everything in his life, she remains the one thing that makes sense. 

Pam’s challenge showcases her humor, which Jim find irresistible, but it also provides the encouragement and motivation he needs to keep pushing for his one party plane. Part of him wants to be the first to deliver a playful, I told you so, while the more rational side of him truly wants to change the irritating nature of multiple office birthday parties. Having Pam on his side despite her difference of opinion means everything to him and gives him confidence.

With Oscar:

Jim heads over to Oscar’s desk to discuss an issue with an invoice, but decides to mention his recently issued memo concerning the birthday party plan. Jim’s transformation into management has reached a new level with the circulation of a memo. Paper salesman Jim would never resort to a memo to communicate with his co-workers. This is truly the work of a manager, which is all the more proof that Jim is taking his responsibility seriously. He has leadership skills and the goal of a unified birthday party is giving him a chance to utilize those skills in a real situation, rather than games and pranks. He finds the courage to ask, “Oh, did you see my memo by the way?” His voice is soft spoken as he is a little unsure and shy about is new role.

Part of the reason for his inquiry, may be a result of little or no response to his memo. However, his determination is enough to keep him steady. Jim watches as Oscar reads the words of his memo aloud, “‘Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are we could all use a break from the constant cake, so let's celebrate birthday month in style today.’” Jim is practically reciting his own words in his head as Oscar reads. The plan continues to make sense to him and his befuddlement on why he is fighting an uphill battle continues. His hand gesture resonates his internal thought, “This makes sense! Why doesn’t anyone else get it?” He can sense Oscars hesitation as he says, ‘This is really . . .cool” Jim is undeterred, but still a little gun-shy as he responds, “Right? I was just thinking . . .” He’s again fishing for support and reassurance, but the situation has progressed into an awkward encounter. Jim’s behavior continues to morph into Michael as he desperately seeks approval. 

Oscar interrupts Jim’s attempts to garner support and gives a more convincing positive response to Jim’s idea, “No, totally, totally. This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun.” Jim can likely sense Oscar’s doubts, but his overwhelming need for his idea to be accepted greatly impedes his logic at this point. He’ll take what he can get and run with it. Jim exclaims a desperate yet victorious, “Right! Exactly, “ to both the camera and Oscar. In another slip into Michaels’s mode of operation, Jim created his own validation. 

On the surface this is truly frightening, but in terms of Jim level of personal growth it is monumental. For once he is relying on himself to provide validation. In an odd evolution on the his paradox, his innate need for acceptance caused him to finally look for it within himself. He pats Oscar on the back and tells him, “Knew I could count on you.” At this point it didn’t matter if Oscar agreed or not, Jim was going to push through with his communal birthday plan. Furthermore, the challenge of proving his idea is right is enough to keep him going strong.

Break Room #1 - Meredith & Pam:

Jim is at the soda machine when Meredith comes up him and asks, “Hey Jim, can I have my own cake?” Jim is a little thrown by Meredith‘s request so he asks, “What’s that?” The wild animals in Jim’s “wilderness” are beginning to smell fresh meat. Meredith lets reiterates she prefers devil’s food cake and Jim looks at her with his usual easy going face and tells her, “Oh, sure.” It seems like a reasonable request to him and sees no issue in giving Meredith what she wants. If it’s this easy to make people happy, this job is as easy as he thinks. Meredith walks away exclaiming, “Yes!” with a smile. Jim is satisfied with his dealings and says “Okay,” believing the problem is solved and all is well. Accommodating Meredith is simply part of the plan to make everyone happy which at this point seems so easy considering the ease of Meredith’s request and Jim’s built self validation.

Jim takes a seat next to Pam with two sodas, one for her and one for himself (same as on the PD . . . Awwwwww!). His need to take of her and be a gentleman is still firmly entrenched in his persona. Pam witnessed Jim’s interaction with Meredith and can’t resist the urge to continue their friendly little argument, “Wow, that was easy.” Jim immediately picks up on her humor infused tone as well as the encouragement it encompasses. He can sense her warning of impending doom, but he plays right back with some sarcasm of his own, “Yeah, people like me I guess.” It’s his way of again telling Pam, Just wait, you’ll see. 

On another level, Jim statement is very symbolic of his current confidence levels, as they are rising. Jim siphons much of his confidence from how people perceive him. He is generally liked by those around him and it’s something in which he takes a certain amount of pride. He may be able to create an internal sense of validation, but he still has a soft spot for needing people to like him. It’s not so much a Jim trait as it is basic human nature. In this sense, he isn’t much different than Michael, which lends to the concept that they are mirroring each other. Jim is starting to feel the motivation behind Michael’s inherent need to be “World’s Best Boss” and why it’s so important for him to be liked by his employees.

With Creed:

Jim’s perception on the ease of his leadership role is about be tested. The placid existence of a quiet break with Pam is shattered as Creed taps loudly on the glass of the break room and calls Jim’s name. Another animal is set to gnaw on Jim’s inexperience. Jim meets up with Creed outside the break room, but the atmosphere quickly turns into a back alley negotiation. Creeds whispers under his breath with an almost evil, yet juvenile undertone, “I hate devil’s food.” Jim’s arms are folded in an almost protective manner as he fends off Creed’s little tantrum. He tries to diffuse the situation, “Well, I think Meredith was just . . .” but it falls on deaf ears. Creed interrupts him with even more aggravation, “Screw Meredith, I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday.” Jim’s frustration begins to crack the surface as he almost mumbles, “Everybody’s birthday.” He can’t get over the ridiculousness of Creed’s behavior nor can he ignore the attack on his communal birthday plans.

Jim attempts to reassert himself only antagonizes Creed further, “Today is actually my birthday and I want to pick the cake.” However, instead of anger, Creed is on the verge of whining. Jim finds himself essentially dealing with a child, which is immensely frustrating. He finds he has no choice but to give in and appease Creed, albeit against his better judgment. He still wants to make everyone happy, but he is coming to the realization that this is a lot harder than he anticipated. Creed’s demeanor freaks Jim out a little bit and the best way he knows to handle it, is with a little bit of humor. He mimics Creed’s earlier tone and asks, “What do you want?” The tactic is perfect as Creed falls right into step by asking for peach pie. Jim assures him he will get his peach pie, despite his personal reservations about a birthday pie in place of a cake. He explains he’ll talk to Angela about getting a pie as if he’s about to pull some strings with a high-ranking government official. 

This all seems ludicrous to Jim, but he plays along in the name of appeasement. Creed walks away somewhat satisfied with the “deal” in place, while Jim stares dumbfounded into open space. His brain is literally trying to wrap around the lunacy that has just taken place. The challenge of his birthday party plan has extended beyond Pam. The difficulties of working with so many different personalities and petty behavior is starting make itself known and Jim is befuddled on how to handle it. He’s beginning to question the validity of his idea, but his own determination to carry it through keeps him in the game.

With Andy:

Jim is busy working at his desk when an unwelcome visitor rolls over and situates himself right next to Jim. Another one of the “wilderness” creature has found him. Andy has more than invaded Jim’s personal space with his presence which sets off Jim’s level of annoyance even further. After dealing with the weirdness that is Creed, Andy is the last person Jim wants to deal with at this moment. Andy wastes no time putting in his preference for ice cream cake, namely Fudgey the Whale.

Jim has finally come to the realization that he’s going to have to say “no” at some point when it comes to special requests. Andy is going to be his first victim. He avoids eye contact, and tells him, “Not your birthday.” He doesn’t like having to say no, but he will to Andy. It’s no secret Andy and Jim are not best buddies. In fact, Andy annoys Jim to no end. As usual, Andy’s stubborn streak kicks in, “Well, I'm just saying, you know, if you want to make people happy, namely me, you will have a Fudgey the Whale.” Jim grows noticeably more aggravated. However, Jim uses his usual mode of humor to deflect his temper, “Alright, I'll look into it, but the answer's no.” He has a slight smile on his face as all he can really do is laugh at his little joke. If Andy is going to annoy him he can at least amuse himself by annoying Andy right back. Jim is all too prepared for the guilt trip Andy throws at him, “Wow, okay, harsh. Just don't expect me to show up.” He still refuses to make eye contact (never make eye contact with animals in the wilderness as Dwight would surely advise), knowing full well Andy thrives on being the center of attention.

However, Andy’s focus continues to drill into him. At this point he’s desperate to get Andy off his trail, “Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make.” Jim uses his most diplomatic tone to let Andy know the subject is closed. The excuse of work is subtle, yet strong enough to get the message across. To his credit, Jim handles Andy with a high amount of skill, considering he is dealing with a very stubborn and temperamental individual. Andy appears to take the bait and rolls back over to his desk, seemingly leaving Jim at peace. Not two seconds later, Andy rolls over to Jim’s desk once again, requesting, “Pizza rolls.” That’s the last straw. Jim doesn’t want to hear anymore.

The birthday issue has exploded into something ridiculously complicated, thereby elevating Jim’s frustration. He simply can’t understand why everyone can’t just suck it up and have fun. No amount of humor can calm his aggravation, so he uses his next most popular tactic of avoidance. Jim’s face is clenched as he gets up from his desk and announces, “OK, I'm gonna go into this office here to do some work. So I will be in here,” as he heads into Michael’s office. Jim now finds himself isolated along with Michael. Both are in their respective wilderness environments where each will learn a little something about themselves.

His initial motive may be to avoid Andy, but it’s also important to note that Jim was actually working before Andy distracted him. Jim undoubtedly wastes a lot of time at work, but the fact remains, he is good at his job. A little too good. He’s bored because he runs out of stimulus before his first coffee break. With Jim’s heightened position, it possible to notice small indicators of a more focused work ethic. He feels responsibility and is responding. He will rise above the bar when given the opportunity.

Break Room #2:

Jim wanders into the break room for some coffee when everyone suddenly falls silent, with the exception of Oscar greeting him. Jim has calmed down considerably since the Andy situation and is back to his usual genial disposition. Jim thinks he can blend right into the conversation with his co-workers, “Hey guys, what're we talking about?” His status as manager and the havoc he is creating by changing the status quo doesn’t occur to him as he tries to have a friendly conversation with everyone. Little does he know he visited the same waterhole as all the wild animals in his wilderness. And they are growling.

Creed is the first to respond with his usual odd behavior, “Nothing! Nothing going on. We're talking about nothing. C'mon gang.” No one follows, but the silence is deafening. Jim knows this silence. He’s heard it before as Michael enters a room where everyone is talking about him. Suddenly Jim is overcome with a sense of bewilderment as he finds himself at odds with people who usually like him. There’s no mistaking the fact that they were talking about him and that sends shivers down Jim’s spine. He’s the outcast in his own domain. Jim has always had confidence issues in terms of needing to fit in (see JPS3, for the rundown on Jim’s time in Stamford). He stares at his co-workers almost feeling betrayed. He quickly looks away with a face that would normally accompany one of his disbelieving “wow’s.” Jim is starting to feel what it’s like to be in Michael’s shoes.

With Toby/Talking Head #3:

Jim remains isolated in Michael’s office, continuing to work. His original intent of using his work as a escape is likely driving Jim’s work ethic at this point. The frustration of his birthday plans and the sting of the break room sends him to the refuge of his work. Pam can’t help him this time as she is challenging him, albeit with an undertone of support. He hears a slight tap on the door just before Toby enters the office. In Toby’s usual dry voice he greets him, but Jim’s guard is up. Some “animals” are sneakier than others. Yet another has sniffed out Jim, despite his efforts to camouflage himself. With an air of caution he says, “Toby,” as part greeting and part What are you doing here? He’s had enough of everyone’s “issues” with the birthday party and can’t help but suspect Toby is here to discuss more problems. The human resources guy can’t be here for any other reason.

Toby cuts right to the chase and brings up the dreaded topic, “Hey, I just got the word on the communal birthdays.” Jim lets out an exacerbated breath and leans his chin on clasped hands, “Here we go again.” To Jim’s great surprise, Toby provides words of encouragement, “Great idea.” Jim looks up a Toby with a disbelieving face, almost afraid to let himself accept Toby’s compliment. Jim needs someone besides Pam in his corner so he grabs onto Toby’s bait like a starving fish, “Oh, thanks man.” Jim’s body language opens up and relaxes in response to Toby’s acceptance. He grabs onto the arm of his chair and slightly smiles, leaving himself wide open. Toby shifts his gaze to the wall of the office, quietly mumbling, “Yeah . . . .” Jim’s eyes shift to the camera as he realizes things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Unfortunately, he’s already fallen into Toby’s trap. In an odd parallel, Dwight has his gun pointed at Michael (with the safety on, of course), while Toby has Jim targeted. 

Given the choice, I’m sure Jim would switch places. Jim can feel another round of petty behavior coming his way and all he can do is brace for it while he tries to diffuse the situation, “again.” With rattled nerves he asks, “Is there anything . .. I can. . .” Before he can even finish, Toby launches into his sob story, “My birthday was two months ago. . .” Jim is sympathetic as he voices, “Oh, okay,” hoping this will be easier to quell than some of his other dealings. Toby’s depressed tone continues as he whines, “There was no party.” Toby thrives on gaining people’s sympathies as a means to gain their favor and he’s doing an excellent job of reeling in Jim. Jim is both confused and annoyed as he tries to give a surprised “What?” in response to Toby’s news. It does seem a little odd that there was no party, and that does gain Jim’s sympathies. He feels bad for him, despite his irritation. Toby goes on to clarify, “Well, it... there was. But Michael scheduled it for 4:58 on a Friday. You know, people sang in the parking lot.” Jim’s arms are back in front of him, almost as if he’s trying to defend himself from another attack. 

He wistfully recalls Toby’s “party” in a quiet voice, “I remember that.” He’s not sure where Toby is going with this, but he knows it can’t be good. Toby goes in for the kill with his mumbled request, “I don't know, I just thought you could include me.” Jim’s faces scrunches up in disbelief. As if Andy and Creed’s behavior didn’t border on insane, now Toby wants to be included in a birthday party to make up for his own. He trains his eyes on Toby and asks, “Seriously?” It’s the most ridiculous thing he’s heard all day and can’t believe Toby would make such a request. The insanity that surrounds him has never been more clear. Toby doesn’t relent and voices his justification, “I just though you could add me. I don't see the harm in that.” Jim is ready to explode with frustration. Fortunately for Jim, he has a high tolerance for strong emotions, in that he’s really good at keeping them hidden.

The scene breaks into a talking head, where Jim is able to vent some of his frustrations with a rousing round of sarcasm. His nerves are literally screaming for relief and humor is the only outlet he knows. Without even realizing it, he begins to imitate Michael by complaining about Toby, “Toby's great. He's great, but sometimes he can be a little bit much.” Jim rarely has anything negative to say about his co-workers (with the exception of Dwight, but that is an entirely different dynamic), so to see this behavior only furthers the notion that Jim is at the end of his rope.

The pressures of leadership are overwhelming as all the frustration Jim has held in for most of the time comes flooding out. In his best Toby impression he repeats Toby’s reasoning for being included, “I don't see the harm in that.” He’s had it plain and simple and venting through humor is helping to make him feel better. However, it’s not enough as Jim’s frustration is stronger than he anticipated. He lashes out with a scathing dose of sarcasm meant for nothing more than a release, “Well, it's a cake Toby, so, c'mon.” The irony of it all is Jim’s frustration is rooted in the fact that everyone is making such a big deal out of something so small, when he is caught up in the exact same behavior. What seemed like a small easy idea to him, has now become a monumental challenge that he just can’t drop.

Back with Toby, Jim decides it isn’t worth the fight to exclude Toby from the party. Reverting back to his previous method of appeasement he decides, “Okay. Yeah, you know what, we're just gonna throw you in. Because more the merrier, right?” He doesn’t have it in him to confront Toby with the same level of agitation he mustered in his previous talking head. Jim has never handled confrontation well, and this is perfect example of how he avoids it whenever possible. Giving Toby and everyone else what they want is easier than saying no, despite the subsequent aggravation it eventually entails.

Jim’s problems only multiply as Angela bursts into “his” office and exclaims, “No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. You can't just change plans willy nilly and expect these little magic party elves to do your bidding. We already have devils food, peach cobbler, Fudgey the Whale, mushroom caps.” Jim’s head falls into his hands in absolute exhaustion and vexation. He rubs his eyes and forehead desperate for relief as his birthday plan literally crumbles at his feet. He looks down at his desk resting his forehead on his hands, while Angela pummels him with her objections.

The wilderness is kicking his butt and Jim feels helpless. Toby manages to break through Jim’s last layer of patience as he whines, “I’m allergic to mushrooms.” With that Jim snaps. He pops up out of his chair, again finding release in sarcasm as he says, “That's a bummer.” He’s beyond finished with listening to Toby’s “woe is me” statements and fielding attacks from Angela. Couple this with the fact that he has no support form the rest of the staff and he is losing his “argument” with Pam he grabs onto his leadership position with both hands. He decides it’s time to take action and he draws upon the only example he knows as he steps out into the main office.

Jim’s Announcement:

Jim situates himself in front of the office and addresses everyone in a loud voice, “Hey everybody. Hi, how you doing? Can I have your attention please? 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing.” His tired face gives away his inner frustration, as does his voice, despite his best efforts to sound upbeat. He scarcely sounds like himself as he tries to maintain some kind of control over the birthday disaster. He is so caught up in his own thoughts, Pam is able to hit him right between the eyes with a perfectly timed prank. He never saw it coming. She raises her hand and asks with serious tone, “Conference room?” Jim falls for it hook, line, and sinker. He spins around and points at her as he speaks, “Yes, conference room in five minutes... “ For a moment, he is sucked into the all familiar Michael tactic of using the conference room for another inane meeting over something stupid. 

However, it only takes a split second for Jim to jump out of skin and ask himself, “Whoa. What are you doing?” He quickly recants his conference room call. Just as Pam has done ever since the beginning of the season, she is anchoring him. At the moment he is lost in his own aggravation and sense of responsibility. Everything is spinning beyond his control and he is desperately trying to find some direction. The same is true of his life in general up to this point. Pam is the only one who make the world stand still long enough for Jim to find his way. Her simple prank brought him back to his reality (or home) and grounded him once again. He’s been stuck in the maze all day and she flicked on the guiding lights to help him find his way home. Part of him applauds her for pranking him so well, but he is more thankful to be snapped back into reality.

After seeing Pam’s smile and feeling the humor, Jim’s take on the situation changes. Instead of trying to prove himself right, he turns his attention to what will work best for the office, “We're gonna solve it right here. We're actually gonna talk about it out here. So, who has problems with the birthday thing? One, two, three, everybody. Okay, so then we just shouldn't do it.” He smiles slightly with a look of relief on his face. It’s just not worth it to him anymore. Pam helped him realize it really doesn’t matter and it’s time to let it go. It’s not worth the frustration or the conflict. 

However, calling the whole thing off creates it’s own set of issues as the wilderness again closes in on Jim. Angela complains that she is stuck with too many cakes. Kevin offers to take the extra cake, which prompts Creed to protect his peach cobbler. Jim is simply at a loss as he watches chaos unfold over something so stupid. Just when he thinks can’t get any more out of hand, Phyllis, provides him with the shock of his life. She unwittingly calls out, “Hey Michael. I mean Jim.” A lightening bolt shot through Jim’s spine as a horrified expression played out across his face. His eyes grow to the size of saucers as he stares into the camera. A replay of the days events and his behavior roll through his brain. He suddenly realizes he has become his worst nightmare “and” the butt of all his jokes. It’s a wake up call like no other.

Talking Head #3:

Jim sits in front of the camera still completely stunned. Jim voices his concerns over himself, “Yup, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.“ He never saw himself as anything like Michael, yet he spent almost an entire day walking in his shoes and responding with behavior very similar to Michael’s. He was never as animated as Michael, but the scariest part was the fact that Michael’s logic invaded and dictated Jim’s actions. The very idea of being everyone’s friend and making everyone happy while in a management position is the cornerstone and pitfall of Michael’s logic. Jim fell right into the same trap. 

The only saving grace is his realization of his error. Unfortunately, Jim is kicking himself so hard that he doesn’t notice he is already ahead of the game. Everything feels like it’s again spinning out of control as he contemplates the fact that he’s become exactly what never saw for himself. The inevitable self doubt rears it’s ugly head as Jim tries to figure out just what he wants in life. He views his experiences with negative light, rather than seeing all he learned about himself. It will take another wake up call from an unlikely source to help him see, he isn’t as lost as he thinks. The concept of realizing what is unwanted is just as important as reaching for what is wanted.

Creed’s Party:

Jim holds onto Creed’s peach cobbler as everyone sings a less than excitable version of “Happy Birthday” to Creed. The party doesn’t come alive until Michael bursts into the room singing his usual high harmony voice. Everyone claps and cheers while Jim is left once again with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Jim watches Michael dote on Creed and add a spark to the party with his realization still swirling in his head. He was Michael for a day and failed miserably. Maybe Michael isn’t as big of an idiot as he once believed. Walking a mile in his shoes has changed his perspective on the man, as well as himself.

Jim is later seen blowing a party horn, while hanging out with Pam at the party. He is enjoying himself and has accepted his errors. Multiple birthday parties may be tiresome, but they are part of the lore of Dunder Mifflin. They are part of home. Jim may find it annoying and tedious, but there is something cozy and warm about the annoying antics that take place at every party. Jim even realizes his own disdain for the parties is part of being at home. It’s another little signal that Jim doesn’t necessarily need to change to find his happiness. He just needs to find acceptance from within himself.

With Michael:

Jim sits amongst the partygoers with defeated and closed in body language with his arms folded and slouched shoulders. It’s obvious he is tired, but also contemplating his complete and utter failure. There are so many things he would’ve done differently. Michael sits beside Jim and casually taps him on the leg as he greets him, “Hey buddy.” Jim returns responds with a tired “hey” as his eyes continue to indicate he is deep in thought. For once, Michael is all-knowing in that he can tell Jim had a rough day. His lighthearted tone continues as he uses a little bit of humor to get Jim to open up, “What up?” Jim truthfully replies, “Sure glad you’re back.” It’s something Jim thought he’d never say in regards to Michael, but the day’s experience has helped Jim appreciated and understand his boss more than he ever has before.

Michael is an idiot, but he is able to hold everything together and keep everything running rather smoothly. Jim was unable to accomplish that today and has newfound respect for Michael. Michael’s tone remains playful as he says, “You are relieved.” The statement is simple enough, but it has multiple meanings. Jim’s will relief extend beyond Michael’s return as he is about to be relieved of his fear of failure and his overwhelming sense of being lost. Jim’s lagging frustration again plays out in a slightly sarcastic tone, “You have no idea.” He is more than happy to pass the managerial burden back to Michael and lick his wounds.

Jim is noticeably downtrodden with his failures and wishes to shed the weight. He’s smart enough to know his mistakes shouldn’t devour him, but he still needs somewhere to release the sting of failure. Lessons learned can’t sink in until there is room for them to flourish. Michael provides him with the perfect opportunity with a simple question that provides a wide open door to unload, “So what did I miss?” Jim still clings to his sarcasm, although it is well hidden, “Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once.” At first listen, his voice is very matter of fact, but it’s possible to detect Jim poking a little bit of fun at himself. The idea he thought was so great at the beginning of the day is now quite possibly the worst idea he’s ever had. Jim’s humor just can’t ignore the paradox. Admitting his failure has a calming effect on Jim. It feels really good to let it out.

This simple exercise lets Jim come to terms with his error and what he learned in the process. Michael reacts halfway through Jim’s statement, with a knowing “Oh,” and nodding head. It’s already obvious Michael failed with the same idea. Jim responds with his own awareness of a tough lesson learned, “So, terrible idea” Jim is still beating himself up a little bit and Michael jumps to the rescue, “Yeah, okay, I did that. Rookie mistake.” Jim raises his eyebrows and focuses on Michael more intently. He is surprised, yet validated by Michael’s admission. To know he isn’t alone is immensely reassuring. Wanting to cling to this piece of reassurance, he asks Michael, “You did do it?,” to reaffirm his partner in error. Jim is able to identify with Michael on a new level. He can literally see himself sitting next to him, but oddly enough it’s a wiser version.

Jim can’t help but smile at the fact that he is just as clueless as Michael in many ways. And here he is taking advice and seeking comfort from a man he usually baby-sits. It’s blind leading the blind. The humor of the situation is not lost on Jim and it helps him to identify Michael in yet another way. When Michael isn’t loud and obnoxious, Jim finds him very funny and relatable. Michael’s ability to not only poke fun at himself, but also the idea of a communal birthday party, allows Jim to immediately feel the camaraderie. He is connecting to Michael much the same way he connects to everyone. Humor is one of Jim’s most valued assets and he seeks it out in others.

Michael’s little pep talk continues with a little pearl of wisdom that only experience can teach, “Uh-huh. Yeah, just wait. Ten years, you’ll figure it out.” Jim looks away as if that much truth is a little too tough to face. He smirks a little as he reassures himself, “Well, I don’t think I’ll be here in ten years.” He places emphasis on the “ten years” portion of his response. That seems like an eternity to Jim and he refuses to see himself planted in the same job in a decade. His voice is rooted in certainty, as he’s always believed he would be somewhere other than Dunder Mifflin. He’s never quite figured out just where he’d be, but he’s always told himself selling paper is temporary. As the years went by, Jim needed to believe this is not his life so he doesn’t view himself as a failure. It’s easier on his ego to believe his is bound for bigger things.

The only thing Jim fails to take into account is the fact that he needs very little to make him happy. He doesn’t need a fancy job or an expensive home. However, he still likes to envision himself with more success than his current status. Jim has been at this job for at least five years if not more, yet Jim still refuses to see it as a permanent fixture in his life. As he speaks he even surveys the room and the people surrounding him with a sense of dismissal. He still wants to believe he can and will eventually leave.

A small smile even forms on his lips as he contemplates his eventual escape. It’s a very basic tenet of human nature. People want to see themselves as something better than their lot in life. Some people break free of the monotony of their jobs while others find contentment in even the most mundane task. Jim just continues to cling to the optimistic ideal that he is better than his surroundings. It’s isn’t arrogance in any sense, but rather clinging to dreams that have no definition. There is no clear goal that Jim to reach for as he never created one for himself other than eventually leaving Dunder Mifflin. Hence, no direction when he’s desperate to find a path.

Jim’s false sense of certainty is literally pulverized with Michael’s simple, yet earth shattering words, “That's what I said.” The small smile that inhabited Jim’s face slowly fades as the reality of his life begins to come into focus. The haze of fear and false beliefs begins to clear, giving Jim a crystal clear view of himself unlike anything he’s ever experienced. Whoa. After identifying with Michael on such a deep level, it becomes entirely clear to Jim that he is following the exact same path, This could really be my life. A mix of horror and wonderment fills his face as the truth permeates his soul and breaks through every vision Jim has or ever had for himself. His earlier rationale of believing he would always leave meets with his realization that he has never really done anything to change his status. Humor always veiled his apathetic nature, and now the effects of his procrastination and inaction are hitting him right between the eyes. 

Last season he had the impression of movement and effort, but his attempts to leave Scranton were never rooted in self truth. Stamford and New York were both attempts to escape heartbreak, but never Dunder Mifflin. No matter his geographic location, he remained in the same position of staying with a job he always said he leave. It finally occurs to him that the only two constants in his life are Pam and Dunder Mifflin. The stunning truth becomes apparent: He’s probably not going anywhere. Jim toys with this realization as his chest pulls tight and his stomach flips in protest. His face looks a little sick as the first taste of truth is a little sour. He never saw himself or his life with so much clarity. The good and the bad are right in front of him in equal measure. However, sour soon gives way to sweet as Jim has finally found his place. He knows where he stands in his life, even though it’s a little tough to swallow at first.

He can’t help but ask himself the inevitable question, What am I doing? A cascade of internal questions soon befall him. His past and present all converge as he evaluates his status. He could talk himself in circles but it all boils down to one central question, Is it enough? If he wakes up ten years from now in the same place, Jim can’t help but wonder if he’ll be happy. He is usually content to a fault, but he’s never really asked himself if he is truly happy. His aimless wandering has officially come to a halt as Jim realizes he has two directions in which to choose. He can either stay on his current path or reach for something else. Either way he must choose what will make him happy.

In The Job, Jim was faced with a similar choice when David Wallace brought up the magic “ten year” scenario during the interview process. Jim knew the answer almost immediately and knew his happiness resided with Pam. He saw himself with her in ten years, but he failed to see beyond her. The constant of Pam has never been an issue as Jim finds immense comfort with her in his life, despite his fears of losing her. She makes him happy and she always will make him happy. Adding to his epiphany is the realization that it‘s not just about him. He can’t help but question himself in terms of what he can offer Pam if he stays on his current path. He wants to be able to take care of her and give her everything she needs, but he can’t really do that if he’s not fulfilled. Although Jim has found his place, self-doubt still lingers to a certain extent. The question of whether or not he’s good enough for her quietly picks at the back of his brain. Despite the doubt that lingers, the inescapable truth still comforts Jim to a certain extent. For the first time in a long time he is grounded with a sense of direction. He may be at fork in the road, but at least he can see the road.

Jim’s reverie is broken by Michael’s ill placed, but perfectly required burst of humor. Out of nowhere he says, “That's what she said.” After a few seconds, the joke registers in Jim’s mind and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at Michael. Humor once again saves Jim from imploding. Deep thought can bring a long awaited epiphany, but so can the lighthearted dance of a simple joke attached to small bit of wisdom. If Jim ever needed a smile, it was at this moment. He plays along with Michael, genuinely amused and relieved to find a lighter train of thought, “That what who said?” Instead of taking his usual defense posture, Michael openly admits, “I never know.” Jim can’t help but smile widely and chuckle at both Michael and himself. Both are clueless in so many ways, but Jim has learned the trick is accepting his shortcomings.

At this point, Jim can find comfort in his failures in that they have taught him so much about himself. In addition to his life altering epiphany, Jim learned he is capable of more than he gave himself credit. He has leadership capabilities and can rise to a challenge. This is really the first time he’s been consciously aware of these traits. He can see his strengths and weaknesses, which give him a firm foundation to choose his path. None of this would be possible without falling flat on his face.

Perhaps his biggest lesson comes in terms of how he has chosen to handle his failure. He’s made the all-important choice of learning from his mistakes rather than allowing them to fester internally. Throughout Season 3 he constantly ran from his mistakes and never let himself gain any insight. It appears Jim is through running and is ready to overcome his weaknesses. Oddly enough, Michael’s humor helps Jim to see his mistakes are simply a rite of passage. It’s perfectly acceptable to be clueless if you’re learning along the way.

Michael offers further advice by explaining his reasoning behind his infamous “that’s what she said” with, “I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension. When things sort of get hard.” Jim never thought of Michael using that logic, but he can identify with it on so many levels. He uses humor for the same reasons on a daily basis. Jim doesn’t miss a beat and fires a perfectly timed, “that’s what she said” in response to Michael’s last phrase. Jim is essentially emulating Michael once again, but the horror and shame is no longer attached to his behavior. There is a new respect and admiration for Michael’s antics, no matter how ridiculous.

Humor once again provides a sense of home and release and Jim’s smile grows wider. His eyes begin to sparkle as his face lights up in response to Michael’s enthusiastic response, “Hey! Nice. Really good. Bravo, my young ward.” Jim continues to laugh, almost surprised at how easily he is amused at a joke that has echoed through the building countless times. Somehow it has new meaning in that it’s familiar and essentially part of him. Jim’s head turns away as he quickly scans his surroundings once again. This time his face is filled with contentment in place of dismissal. His surroundings may not be what he envisioned for himself, but he’s come to the conclusion that he is happy. His earlier lesson of self-created validation finds it’s place as he realizes he is where he belongs, for the time being and he can accept that fact. Truth be told, he’s been on the right track the whole time. He was just to blind to see it. Suddenly, he’s not in the wilderness anymore and his co-workers are not wild animals waiting to tear him apart. Instead, he finds himself at home. And to his surprise, he actually cares about what fills his field of vision. 

If this epiphany isn’t enough, all Jim has to do is reflect on his time in Stamford. The root of his pain may have been Pam, but part of him longed for home in general. Whether he likes it or not, this is all “part” of his life. Following that line of thought, he may have two choices in front of him, but Jim’s choice doesn’t have to be black and white. Part of his choice lies in the realization that his job is not his whole life. It’s simply part of it, and it’s not as bad as he once supposed. The real choice lies in finding the paths that are within himself. There are possibilities at Dunder Mifflin, but the real change is accepting his career status, while breaking through the confines of how he perceives himself. That is Jim’s real journey. In true Jim fashion, he is approaching it with an air of humor, a smile, and a sprinkle of sarcasm to get him through the rough spots.

The Bottom Line:
Jim has a road map and a clue.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) How will Jim’s relationship with Michael change?

2) How will Jim’s epiphany impact JAM?

3) What is Jim’s next move?

4) Is Jim‘s epiphany enough to permanently change his perception of himself?