"Shoot! Stop! Grab them!"

A honey brown-haired girl was clawing forwards to reach the glasses that had slipped past her fingers. From the way she was stumbling it was clear that her vision without the glasses was severely lacking.

The hallway outside the Valley View High School gymnasium was slowly starting to empty after the home team Cougars had defeated the Invaders of West Scranton. The glasses in question had skittered to a stop near where the visiting basketball team was starting to emerge from their locker room right below the "Winter Formal '97" banner. Before she could reach them, she heard a crunch and the sound of the boys laughing. As her heart fell she heard a separate voice speak up over the hum.

"Hey, not cool man."

A blurry form stooped to pick up the broken pieces of plastic off the floor. "Sorry about that, some of the guys on the team turn into real jerks after a loss."

Before she could formulate a response two more blurry forms swooped in and started slapping the boy who had talked to her on his chest and back.

"Hey, way to lose little bro!"

"Yeah man, you know what they say, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades."

"Since we don't have any grenades this will have to do!"

The young man in question immediately had to cover his face as his brothers' slaps exploded into clouds of cloying stink powder. He did his best to protect the glasses so the pungent grit wouldn't get on them. Setting his jaw, he frowned as his brothers ran off laughing. Looking around he saw the girl who had obviously lost the glasses standing a short distance away.

"Sorry about those two and the smell. Those were my older brothers and they're the self- proclaimed kings of practical jokes. I think these are yours?"

"Thanks," she said with a shy smile as she took them back and tried to fit the broken ends of her glasses together. "Stupid things are always slipping off my face. I had a pencil behind my ear and was going to move it when they just flew off my head." She didn't know where it came from, but the simple act of kindness he had shown her had burned away the dread that had started to fill her as soon as she heard the stomp of the sneaker that had shattered her frames.

"Don't mention it. Hey, wait a sec, weren't you the one who was sketching in the stands during the second half?"

She felt her cheeks flame. "Yeah, it's just a hobby of mine. Dorky, I know. I mean really, who does that?"

"Jamie! We gotta get going! Stop fraternizing with the enemy and get on the bus!" The voice of the boy who had crushed the glasses echoed slightly across the hall.

He looked over his shoulder to where his teammates were starting to file out the doors to their bus. "I gotta get going...I'm sorry, I didn't get your name."

"It's Morgan," she answered.

"Morgan," he tried it out. "Cool. If I ever see you around you gotta show me what you were drawing." He was starting to walk backwards to the exit.

"Yeah sure," she called after him. A soft, "see ya," escaped her lips as he turned and jogged to catch up with the team and disappeared past the double doors leading outside. She didn't know why but she suddenly felt a little sad that he had left.

She was still standing there when she heard an excited squeal and felt the form of her best friend Isabel collide into her side and grab her arm. "Morg! Who was that cutie?"

Morgan couldn't help it and felt herself grin. "Oh, just a guy from West Scranton."

"Going to see him this weekend? I know for a fact you have no plans. If you say no, I swear I'm going to set you up with the first guy who talks to you. Or maybe you'll finally say yes to Roy. I heard he wants to ask you out again."

"Nice try. Didn't get his number or anything. Who am I kidding anyway? He'll probably forget all about me before he gets back. Probably has a girlfriend or something. Besides I don't even know what he looks like. It was literally all just a blur, and that was before his brothers showed up and covered him in a stink bomb. As for Roy, yeah, he's nice and all, but I don't know. " She took a deep breath.

"Boys," they said at the same time.

Isabel brightened up at once and quickly shouted. "Jinx! You owe me a Coke!" The look of shock was clear on Morgan's face. Isabel was delighted. "Hey, don't blame me. Once an oboe player, always an oboe player and it was you who said the rules of jinx are unflinchingly rigid."

The two girls made their way over to the concession stand. Morgan's look of dejection only grew as the cashier rolled down the metal door closing up shop just as they approached. Isabel only grinned mischievously. "Oh, this is going to be fun," she told her friend."

They turned to leave when a new voice called after them. "Hey, Morgan! Wait up!"

Roy Anderson was jogging to catch up to the two girls. He was slightly breathless and flushed with excitement. "Hey, just wanted to know what time I should pick you up for that hockey game tomorrow?"

Morgon felt her brow furrow. She hadn't actually agreed to go with him to the minor league game. The fact that he was simply assuming it was a foregone conclusion that she'd go with him irked her. For once in her high school life she was relieved for an excuse to keep quiet. The feeling didn't last though.

"Pick her up at six." Isabel told him. Morgan's eyes grew wide and she wordlessly gaped at her friend.

Roy however was beaming. "Great! See you then!" He dashed off to continue celebrating the recent win with the rest of his teammates.

Isabel only smiled at her friend as she started to drag Morgan to the parking lot to her car so they could drive home. Morgan was sure there was steam rising from her head as Isabel started the car and made her way into the traffic leaving the school. They only paused on their route for a quick pit stop at a gas station.

"Coke! Go!" Isabel pointed to the racks of red and white bottles inside.

A quick trip inside and Morgan was back and officially un-jinxed. "What did you do that for!"

"What?" Isabel asked with a smile. "Can't say I didn't warn you."

"I don't know the first thing about hockey!"

"What's to know? Hit the puck with the stick. Get it in the goal. Do that more than the other team. Cheer for the Penguins. Pig out on soda and nachos, nothing to it."

Morgan didn't answer her. Rather she crossed her arms over her chest and sulked. She didn't hear the protestations of her friend that one of the cutest boys in their school had asked her out, that she would have a great time, that she needed to promise her to call as soon as the game was over for every juicy detail of the date. Instead she just looked out the window as the blurry scenery of Archbald drifted past. She let her thoughts go back to the memory of the first guy who had ever said anything nice about her sketching, and her regret that she didn't even know what he looked like.

It was a strange sensation she was feeling. It was warm and comforting, like when she would wrap herself in an old blanket and re-read some of her favorite books. There was also the hint of butterflies in her stomach that she found pleasantly surprising. No guy has ever stood up for me the way he did. We don't even go to the same school. It was his own teammate that crushed my glasses and he still was on my side. Who does that? I wish I could have seen what he looked like. Maybe I should just get the stupid contacts. It was really nice that he did that. I'll have to get some of this down in my journal later.

She was too lost in her thoughts to hear Isabel's final comment as they pulled into her driveway. "After all, what could go wrong?"

______________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, what was up with that dorky girl with the glasses?"

Jamie felt anger rise in his throat for the second time that night. He turned around in his seat to face the other boy. "You heard her, Wes. It was her only pair of glasses and you deliberately smashed them."

"After the way their center smashed your nose on the last play it was only fair that we get some payback!"

"By going after someone who had nothing to do with that? That's not payback for anything. That's just you being a jerk, again!"

Wes narrowed his eyes. "Say that again."

Jamie had no intention of backing down. He was team captain, not the stocky underclassman facing him. There was no way he was going to let a bully like this get away with anything while he had anything to say about it. "I said you were being a jerk. Just like you were when you were kicking balls away from the freshmen at practice. Or the time you snuck back into the locker room early and threw everyone's winter coats in the shower right before practice was cancelled for that snowstorm. Don't even get me started with the crap you pull outside of practice."

"Huh," Wes was unimpressed. "You prank people all the time, what makes you so different than me?"

"I don't intentionally try to ruin other people's things, or try to hurt them, and I only prank my friends or people I know can handle it. Not random strangers. So, I'm telling you here and now. Knock it off."

"Or what? You going to fight me? Kick me off the team? Mister-goody-goody-Boy Scout doesn't want me picking on the poor girl from the other school. What you going to do about it?"

Jamie only steeled himself further on hearing the mocking tone. What he wanted to do was sink his fist in Wes' face, but he knew that would only get him kicked off the team. Glancing around he saw his own varsity squad now looking in on the argument as well as a few members of the junior varsity team. The weight of his role as team captain forced him to keep his tone calm.

"You'll find out when we get back to school." Turning back around he missed the sneer on Wes' face but did hear the cutting remark.

"Yeah, right. You won't do shit. Just like you always do."

Okay, that's enough. The thought reverberated in Jamie's mind and he got up from his seat to make his way to where their coaches were sitting near the front of the bus.

"Coach Weller, can I talk to you quick?"

The head coach looked up from his clipboard and the discussion he'd been having with the JV coach. "What's up, Jamie? If it's about that last play I assure you I'm going to put in a grievance with the referee association. That was a flagrant foul if I ever saw one. There was no way they should have missed it."

"It's not about that. It's about Wes." Jamie told him about the incident with the glasses and a host of other bullying activities. The coaches listened quietly until Jamie was finished. They were quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Coach Weller who finally spoke up.

"What have you always told me is your least favorite drill?"

"Wind sprints," Jamie told him.

"Okay. What's my one rule for this team?"

"'Win together, lose together, one team, one goal.'"

The coach took a breath before he spoke again. "There were two mistakes made tonight, Jamie. The first is Wes' behavior if it's true. The second was yours."

Jamie was a bit taken aback. "What did I do?"

"You knew this was going on and didn't tell me or any of the other coaches. Making a mistake is one thing. You make another mistake if you try to cover up the first. How are we supposed to fix any problems if we don't know there are any?"

Jamie's throat tightened. "I understand," he croaked out.

"Thank you for telling me this though. It is important. We can't have this kind of behavior." The coach dug his cell phone out and Jamie saw him punch in the number for the freshman squad coach that was in the bus behind the varsity and JV teams. "You can head back to your seat," Coach Weller told Jamie when he saw the young man was still there.

The walk back to his seat was harder. Jamie had an idea what was coming. Rather than think about it he tried to distract himself with something, anything. Staring out the window his thoughts went back to the game that night. How could anyone just keep drawing in the middle of a game like that? That's dedication for sure. I wonder what it was she was drawing. She had really pretty eyes. Snap out of it, she doesn't go to your school and you'll never see her again since we only play Valley View one time in a season. She probably has a boyfriend anyway. Do I know anyone at Valley View who might know her? No, I don't know anyone at Valley View.

Lost in his thoughts, he was oblivious to the rest of the basketball team on the bus with him. All to soon they arrived back at their own school. It was the habit of the coaching staff to schedule an hour after any game to head back to their locker room to go over the game so they would know what to work on in practice for the coming weeks. Coach Weller didn't bark out his usual command to head in for the debriefing when they arrived though.

"Varsity team, head to the locker room and get changed back into your game gear. Be on the baseline in five minutes. JV, front row of the stands. Freshmen behind them." Ignoring the questions and comments from the players, Coach Weller walked off the bus and headed inside the doors of West Scranton High School. He unlocked the doors to the gym and turned on the lights. Five minutes later the fifteen players that made up the varsity team were lined up at the end of their home court with the fifteen members of the JV squad looking on from the stands. The twenty-five players of the freshman team filed in and took their seats as well.

"What's my one rule!" Coach Weller shouted to the three teams.

Fifty-five teenage voices shouted out together the mantra their coach had drilled into them every day at practice. "Win together! Lose together! One team! One goal!"

The coach began pacing in front of the varsity squad like a general inspecting his troops before battle. He took his whistle out of his pocket and wrapped the string around his hand. His voice wasn't harsh or cruel, just loud enough for everyone in the gym to hear him clearly. "I want you to think about that long and hard, gentlemen. You know the drill. On my whistle; you have forty-five seconds to run from the baseline to touch the near free throw line and back, touch the half court line and back, touch the far free throw line and back, and touch the far baseline and back."

Tweeet!!

The varsity squad took off on their first wind sprint. They did their best to hustle up and down the court, bending down to touch the floor at each spot their coach had called out. When they were all back after the final race across the length of the court Coach Weller was on them again.

"Win or lose, you will always conduct yourselves as champions!"

Tweeet!!

"Never, for one instant, forget that the name on the front of your jersey is more important than the one on the back!"

Tweeet!!

"Being a varsity player means you're supposed to be the best this school has to offer. Prove it not to me, but to yourself!"

Tweeet!!

"A real champion is the one who builds not only his team up, but those who will replace him one day!"

Tweeet!!

"He shows respect to his school, his coach, his captain, his teammates, his opponents, and most importantly those who are looking up to him!"

Tweeet!!

"And in so doing, earns respect for himself!"

Tweeet!!

"He is humble in victory and gracious in defeat!"

Tweeet!!

"He accepts the consequences of his decisions, both good and bad!"

Tweeet!!

"This is the standard I hold you to, gentlemen."

Tweeet!!

"A standard that two of you have failed to meet!"

Tweeet!!

"Win together! Lose together! One team! One goal! When one of you fails, you all fail!"

Tweeet!!

"One of you has already had the courage to admit his failure. If he wants to stop he can."

Jamie knew the coach was talking about him, but he also knew his responsibility was to lead his team. Gasping down what air he could he set his feet as the whistle blew again.

Tweeet!!

For the next forty minutes, Coach Weller ran the West Scranton varsity basketball team up and down the court. After a week of practice every day after school and a hard game that night the time limit for the wind sprints was already daunting, and only grew worse with each blast of the whistle. As he'd done before during this drill Jamie's mind searched for something else outside the world of basketball to distract him from the burning in his legs and rasps of his breathing. It settled on a green-eyed girl from Valley View with curly hair. With that image fixed in his mind the pain in his legs and chest seemed just a bit lighter.

Finally, Coach Weller put his whistle back in his pocket and walked over to where the JV coach was sitting. He grabbed a small book offered him and started flipping through the pages. The varsity team was spent. Many of them had collapsed on the floor trying to suck air into their lungs. Still when their coach called them, they obeyed his instruction.

"On your feet gentlemen. James Halpert! Front and center!" The boy in question walked on shaky legs to face his coach who was standing in front of the other two teams on the benches. "So everyone can hear you, read the underlined part of the Player Code of Conduct."

Jamie took the book from his coach. He had his breathing mostly under control by this time. "Any instance of prohibited behaviors shall be reported to coaching staff immediately."

"Has there been instances of prohibited behaviors you've failed to report?"

"Yes, Coach."

"Why didn't you report them?"

"I wanted to protect my team. I didn't want to get anyone in trouble."

 "Tell the team what you told me on the bus." In no uncertain terms, Jamie recalled what had happened after the game as well as the other infractions he had seen Wes commit. When Jamie was finished he addressed the young man again. "Being the leader means you have to make the right choice, Jamie. Even if that choice is hard or unpopular. You had the opportunity to save your teammates and others from hardship but you didn't. Do you understand?"

"Yes, coach."

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

Jamie looked back at the varsity team, who by now were mostly recovered, and then back to the other students in the stands. "I let you down, guys. I thought I was protecting you, but I had it backwards. I'm sorry I let it happen. It never will again as long as I'm your captain."

"Good. Back on the line."

Coach Weller turned to the line of varsity players again. "Wesley Patterson! Front and center!" When Wes was also standing in front of the other teams his coach addressed him.

"Your captain has accused you of multiple Code of Conduct violations. What do you have to say for yourself?" Wes didn't answer. Rather he kept his eyes on the ground. Coach Weller wasn't about to let him off the hook. His voice was deep and low. "I asked you a question, young man, and you will answer it."

"You can't prove anything. There's no cameras around. It's my word against his."

Coach Weller wasn't fazed. He turned to the other two teams. "Raise your hand if you were a witness to the actions Wesley is accused of committing."

Every hand of the students went up. They had seen what would happen if they failed their coach's standard.

"Fine! Yeah, I did all that stuff," Wes finally admitted.

"Why? And 'I don't know' is not an acceptable answer."

"I thought it was funny."

"What about the freshmen whose practice you interrupted? Or your own teammates who had to go home in a blizzard without a coat? Or the girl earlier tonight? Do you think they thought it was funny? Again, 'I don't know' is not an acceptable answer."

Wes' shake of his head was hardly perceptible. "I guess not."

"You're on the bench for the next two games."

"What!" Wes was outraged. "How come Jamie isn't riding the bench! You just said he was guilty too! My dad has college scouts coming to the next games! You can't do this to me!"

"You are not in charge of this team or this program, young man, I am!" Coach Weller's voice finally had a hint of anger in it. "This team is not just about you, it's about all of you! Your captain ran the same sprints you did. He had the courage to come to me first and admit his mistake, and he also cared enough about this team to apologize for his failure. There's a word for that, it's called integrity. If you want to get back on the court, show me you have the integrity to support your teammates from the bench."

Wes only muttered something under his breath. Coach Weller's keen ears heard it easily. "If you have something to say, tell it to your team."

"I said this is total bullshit!" Wes roared back at him.

Coach Weller only narrowed his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was as hard as steel. "Take off that jersey, leave it here with me, and head back to the locker room. You're off this team."

"Fine!" Wes peeled the West Scranton jersey off the undershirt he was wearing beneath it and threw it down angrily. He stalked away in the direction of the locker room.

When he was out of the gym Coach Weller looked around at the other students who had watched. "I wanted you all to watch that. The Player Code of Conduct is something I and the other coaches take very seriously. What you just saw were two young men who both had made mistakes while on this team. One, learned from his mistake and is still here. The other hasn't learned anything and is gone. Mistakes are going to happen, gentlemen. That's called life. We don't run from or hide from our mistakes, we learn from them, otherwise we'll just keep making the same mistakes again and again."
With a final scan across the players of all three teams Coach Weller finished his speech before he dismissed them for the night. "Remember this night, gentlemen. Remember so that when it's your turn you know what choice to make."

______________________________________________________________________________

"Hi honey. How was the game?"

"We won, but one of the players from the other team broke my glasses." Morgan's response to her mother as she came back home was decidedly dejected.

"What?" Helene Beesly came rushing to the front door of their house as Morgan was clumsily putting her shoes away.

"They flew off my head after the game ended and got stomped on."

Helene inspected the broken frames Morgan had presented her. "We'll go see about getting these fixed in the morning. Do you know where your spare glasses are?"

"In my desk drawer," Morgan replied.

"Stay here. I don't want you to hurt yourself bumping into anything."

Helene was back shortly. Morgan was finally able to see clearly again and the first thing she noticed was the concerned look on her mother's face. "It was just some stupid jock from the other team, Mom."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she remembered she also had to tell her mother of the change in her plans for the next evening. "Roy Anderson is going to pick me up around six tomorrow to go see a hockey game."

"Oh!" Helene brightened up considerably on hearing that news. "That sounds fun!"

"I guess so. Mind if I use the computer for a bit?"

Her mother didn't mind. Morgan was sure her mother was already mentally planning her wedding. It seemed she always did that when Morgan showed even a passing interest in any boy. Shrugging it off Morgan walked to the living room where the family desktop was kept. Soon she heard the familiar start-up tones of Windows 95 and the screeching noise as their dial-up modem connected to the internet.

Morgan wished she could have her own computer, rather than having to share one with the rest of her family. But computers were expensive and she didn't have a phone outlet in her room anyway to be able to get online. She logged onto a chat room her church youth group had helped set up. It was one of the few chat rooms her father's web filters hadn't blocked. Area churches had set up the site to offer a "clean and safe" alternative from other internet chat rooms. To Morgan however there was little difference between the conversations she heard in her school cafeteria and the words scrolling across her screen. Still she did enjoy that online, no one knew she was just another dorky girl in the crowd. She saw mostly familiar screen names, but a new one caught her eye.

Artfan12: Looks like we got a new face in the crowd tonight. Welcome bballer.
Bballer04: Thanks. Didn't know what I'd find coming in here. Seemed interesting.
Artfan12: If you consider mostly harmless conversations on the latest bands interesting.
Bballer04: Could be worse things to talk about.
Artfan12: So bballer, how come you’re here in a lowly chatroom on a Friday night? No parties to head off to?
Bballer04: Oh I'm sure there are, but I'm in no condition. I'm on my school's basketball team and we lost. Our coach had us doing wind sprints for what seemed like forever after we got back so I've got a ton of ice packs on my legs.
Artfan12: What's a wind sprint?
Bballer04: Basically you have to run up and down the court a whole lot and they suck.
Artfan12: Sounds harsh. Does he always do that when you lose?
Bballer04: No part of it was my fault. One of the guys on our team has been a real jerk over the season. I knew about it but didn't say anything. But tonight, I couldn't help it. He crossed the line and I had to say something.
Artfan12: What happened?
Bballer04: We had an away game and as we were coming out of the locker room afterwards he stomped on the glasses of one of the girls who went to the home school. I gave them back to her and told our coach on the bus ride back to our school. Long story short he got kicked off the team. Later the coach told me that only a few of the wind sprints we had to do were for what I did. The rest were because of what he did.

"No way." Morgan was sure her eyes were bugging out of her head. As the conversation had lengthened she ignored the other conversations that were going on in the chat room. The butterflies were back. Her fingers were shaking as she typed a reply.

Artfan12: Wnt to pone a prive winow?
Bballer04: What?
Artfan12: Sorry, my fingers were shaking on my keyboard. I asked if you wanted to open a private window?
Bballer04: Uh...sure.

Morgan clicked on the icon to send an invite to join a private window where none of the others in the chatroom could see what they typed. When the window popped up she was pleased to see the other screen name there waiting.

Bballer04: What's up?
Artfan12: Um...this is kind of awkward, but by any chance am I talking to Jamie from West Scranton?
Bballer04: Yeah, how would you know wait a sec. Is this Morgan? Were those your glasses?

He remembered my name! Morgan felt a grin bloom across her face and she lightly bit the end of her tongue as she typed back.

Artfan12: Yeah, they were.
Bballer04: Wow! No way! Did you get home ok, I mean obviously you did or you wouldn't be on a chatroom.
Artfan12: I rode with a friend to the game and she drove me home. Thanks for sticking up for me. That was really nice.
Bballer04: Anytime.

Morgan was usually very talkative on chatrooms, but for once she didn't seem to have anything to say. She started at her screen blankly until a new message popped up.

Bballer04: Still there?
Artfan12: Yeah, I'm still here. And don’t worry to much about the glasses. I have a spare pair. I'm thinking I may want contacts anyway.
Bballer04: That would make it easier to keep that pencil behind your ear. Also I was being serious. I would like to see what you were drawing. Must have been good to keep your attention during a basketball game.
Artfan12: It really wasn't anything important. Sorry to tell you but basketball's never really been my sport. I was on the volleyball team, but I sprained my ankle really bad on our first practice which pretty much sidelined me for the season.
Bballer04: That sucks. Sorry to hear that.
Artfan12: Thanks, but it gives me more time to draw.
Bballer04: So back to the subject, would you be free tomorrow night for a private drawing exhibit? We could meet at the mall in the food court and get something to eat too.

Did he just ask me out?

Artfan12: I wish I could, cause that sounds nice, but I already have plans for tomorrow night.
Bballer04: Could I get a rain check?
Artfan12: Sure.

Why can't all boys be this easy to talk to? Morgan thought as Jamie started asking her more about why she like to draw. For the next hour the conversation flowed easily. She in turn asked about his love for basketball.

Artfan12: Hey sorry to say this but it's getting kinda late and I'm sure my parents are going to kick me off the computer soon. Again, thanks for what you did.
Bballer04: You're welcome. See ya later

"Do a barrel roll!"

Even before the order came in over the radio Fox McCloud had jammed the control stick to the right while keeping his left foot on the rudder to keep the nose in line. Enemy laser bolts bounced harmlessly off his Arwing's G-diffusor shields as his own lasers continued to charge. The sleek starfighter's nose came back in line and the targeting computer secured a lock on the enemy formation ahead. As another enemy volley was fired, Fox hit the firing button on his own control stick. The charged laser blast shot out and vaporized the lead ship and the resulting shock waves took out the rest of the formation. Fox didn't have time to celebrate. Hundreds of other drone ships still faced him and his small squadron, and drones or not their lasers burned hot and lethal.

The distress call from General Pepper has blasted through the speakers of Great Fox leading to a mad dash to the launch bays. Sensor scans had showed that the main Cornerian Army had fallen for a diversionary force and Corneria City was now under direct attack from legions of drone fighters and tanks. Plotting a course for the heart of the enemy, Fox had led his flight of four starfighters straight into the thickest pack of enemy craft. The sentry ships the enemy had stationed over the ocean had fallen quickly. The city scape they flew over was a filled with smoke from earlier attack runs. Taking a deep breath, Fox kept his hand light on the stick. As his own fighter screamed over the capital his own lasers turned more and more drones into junk. The computer in his fighter kept track of his shield level and his scanners were constantly searching for areas where the underlying rock was venting pockets of the special gas his G-Diffuser could use to recharge his shields. The gas pockets were displayed as silver and gold rings on his heads-up-display to give him an easy target to fly through.

Fox always believed in leading from the front and so flew his Arwing into the heaviest concentration of enemy drones he could find. He wasn't able to shoot all of them down but was confident his squadron mates would be able to handle what slipped through. For their first major action they were performing well. The simulator, with its new FX chip was good, but there was no way it could simulate the feeling of actually flying in combat. This time though, there would be no extra lives, it was just him in his cockpit versus the robotic armies of Andross.

While he was rolling out of another enemy attack, Fox glanced up and saw a huge war machine flying over the hills. Before he could start to track it, his radio blared to life again.

"Follow me Fox!"

Looking through his canopy Fox saw his primary wingman Falco dive to fly under some stone arches protruding from the sea. Shaking his head at the cocky pilot Fox guided his own ship after his teammate. Emerging from the last arch Fox had to squint as he saw the boosters of Falco's ship flare to life.

Fox keyed his own radio. "Falco! Where are you going?"

"I found the target! Try to keep up!" Falco's response was almost washed away as he flew through a waterfall and emerged into a deep canyon. It took all of Fox's piloting abilities to fly a safe path through the canyon that was filled with still more enemies. Finally, the canyon emptied out over the sea again. Before he could take a breath to calm his nerves, the war machine he'd seen earlier was suddenly in front of him. While Slippy analyzed the shields of the huge ship in front of them, Fox checked the systems in his fighter. He was pleased to see they were still in top shape and he had a full rack of smart bombs on board.

The final battle didn't last long. Between Slippy's diagnostics and Peppy's advice Fox was able to target the weak points of the enemy ship. Before long, his own weapon system had reduced it to scrap metal.

Fox nodded with satisfaction and pulled his Arwing into a climb to allow his scanners to search for any new targets. Finding none he keyed his radio again.

"All craft report in."

One by one his squadron reported back to him. Minimal damage only that could be easily repaired once they were back onboard Great Fox. He was about to hit the boosters of his own ship when a new voice came over the radio.

"Jamie! Are we going to go or what?"

With a lurch Jamie pulled himself back into his real surroundings. He shook his head as his score scrolled across the screen and the animated starfighter hit its boosters. He saved his game and turned off the console and TV before turning back to the sound of his sister's voice that had called him from the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm coming Larissa." He stood up from his chair and adjusted the bowtie around his neck.

"Very stylish Jamie," Larissa told him as she pinned a boutonniere to the lapel of his tuxedo.

"You as well," he replied as he slipped a corsage over her wrist.

"You know you still don't have to do this," she told her brother.

"What and let some creep take my kid sister to prom? Good luck with that." Adopting a mock formal tone raised his nose in the air and held his arm out. "Shall we?"

Larissa only laughed at him but did slip her arm through her brothers. "Let us shall," and they made their way down the stairs of their home.

Their mother met them at the base of the staircase, camera in hand. "It's just so sweet of you to take your sister to her first prom," she gushed. She snapped photo after photo before Jamie was able to get her to stop.

"Mom! I think you've got enough. We need to get going anyway. I told Mark we'd meet him at the restaurant in twenty minutes."

Jamie escorted his sister out of the house and held the passenger door of his car open for her. Together they made their way to Coopers Seafood House. They along with Jamie's friend Mark and his date, Emily, were easily the most overdressed party at the restaurant. They didn't care and we able to just enjoy a nice dinner between the four of them.

Halfway through the meal Emily leaned over the table.  "Larissa, you've got to tell me why your brother is taking you to prom. And don't give me the protective older brother thing. There's got to be more to the story than that."

Seeing that her brother currently had a mouth full of soft-shell crab, and thus unable to defend himself, Larissa's eyes twinkled with mischief. "It's cause he's broken hearted over a girl!"

The two girls immediately started laughing at the reactions of their dates. Jamie had started coughing loudly and almost choked. Mark had just turned to his friend with his jaw hanging on the ground.

Emily thought this was the best news ever. "What?! Aww, Jamie that's so sweet. Just like out of a movie or something. Who was she? Did you take her out? What was she like? Details man!"

Jamie glared for a second at his sister who had a huge toothy grin on her face. Resigning himself to his fate he sighed. "Oh, go on then. Tell them all about it. Maybe this will be the last time."

"Are you kidding? I'm going to be telling this story forever," Larissa beamed back at him before turning to the other two. "So, it was last January and Jamie had just lost a basketball game. He was coming out of the locker room and one of his teammates crushed the glasses of this girl at the school they were at. So, what does my noble big brother do? He's about to hand them back when our older brothers cover him in this stink bomb powder they've cooked up. I was about to go see him but there was no way after that. I mean imagine a cross between a skunk, rotten eggs, and a decaying moose and you'll have an idea of how bad he was smelling.
"Well the girl in question must not have a sense of smell or anything because she was just standing there, looking at Jamie here. Of course, they didn't stay long because Jamie's coach had them heading for the bus right away. But here's Jamie walking backward down the hall, not breaking eye contact, when WHAM! He finally turns around and runs right into the door of the school!"

"I did not run into the door!" Jamie protested.

Emily and Mark were by now seemingly dying from laughter. Larissa just patted her brother on the arm. "Hush brother of mine, I'm telling a story. So, after he gets home he's literally limping back in the door because he can't get this girl out of his head."

"I was limping because I'd spent almost an hour doing wind sprints!"

Larissa by now was ignoring his interruptions. "He gets online and low and behold she's there on this local chatroom and they end up talking online for like hours and hours. What was it you said after that Jamie? 'Why can't all girls be this easy to talk to?'"

"It was only about one hour and I didn't even know it was her when I logged onto that chatroom."

"That still doesn't explain why you're here with your sister and not this mystery girl."

Larissa was about to start the tale again, but Jamie got there first. "I've got it from here. I did try to find her again, but I never could. I only got her first name and then the chatroom got hacked and eventually taken down. What was I supposed to do? Drive across town during lunch and ask around some other school about a girl?"

"It would have been so romantic," Emily told him.

"It would have been creepy and would have probably landed me in jail. I can see the headline now. 'High school basketball star arrested for stalking.'"

"You tell it so boringly," Larissa told her brother. "Anyway, after that there's not a girl he even looks at anymore. I mean, him! My brother, basketball team captain, jock extraordinaire, and all around great guy Jamie Halpert loses all interest in any other girl that goes to our school. And at home? You gotta be kidding, all he does is spend hours playing Star Fox or Goldeneye." She turned to her brother. "Earth to Jamie! You can't spend your life locked in your room pining after The-Girl-That-Got-Away."

Jamie knew she was only teasing him based on the overly dramatic way she had clasped her hands over her heart. He didn't regret asking his sister to prom and he had known full well she'd launch into this particular story. "'Tis better to have loved and lost, then never have loved at all," he said while raising his water glass to take a drink.

"Weak defense man," Mark told him. "Get that off a Hallmark card?"

"I'm not going to win this one, am I?" Jamie asked forlornly.

Emily reached across the table and gave his hand a friendly squeeze. "Sorry, no. Might as well just throw in the towel. It is very romantic though. But just imagine telling this story years from now to your wife or kids."

"Yeah, that's just what I'll want to do. Poor girl would probably either run away screaming since I wasn't her one and only love or run to the kitchen for a cleaver and hack me to bits for cheating."

They all caught his sarcastic tone of voice and ended up laughing it off. The conversation soon turned to other topics as they continued to enjoy their evening. It was only later while Jamie was slowly rotating in a circle with Larissa during a slow song that the topic came back up.

"Hey, you okay? You seem a little down." Larissa asked her brother.

"It's just that story. I'd never tell Mark, or anyone else for that matter, but I am a little sad I could never get back in touch with Morgan. She seemed really nice."

"Hey, don't worry about it bro. I'm sure she was really nice. If it helps I'll stop bringing it up so much."

He nodded. "Thanks."

"I'm a little sad too. After all my best big brother is heading off to college next year. I'll be all alone at home. I mean who's going to be there to talk to you about stuff like this?"

"I'll still visit! Penn State's not that far away."

"I guess," Larissa shrugged. "But seriously, I don't want you to live your life in the past. I mean you haven't even gotten a haircut since this whole Morgan thing."

Jamie shook his head playfully. "Oh, I don't know. I think the shaggy look is growing on me."

"Not the point. Just promise me you won't pass on what's in front of you for what could have been."

"Deal," he told her.

"Good. So, how does it feel being big fancy new Jamie?"

He laughed at his sister. "Kinda, weird when you put it like that. How am I supposed to be this new more mature person when everyone is still calling me Jamie like I'm still in first grade."

"Fair enough. James then?"

"No, to formal."

"Okay, well how about Jim. Simple, short, easy to spell, even for you."

"Sounds good. You're a good sister, you know that?"

"Duh! If you haven't noticed, I'm the best!"

Jim laughed again at his sister as the music ended. The rest of the night went by easily for the two before he finally drove her home.

______________________________________________________________________________

Morgan had to admit to herself, she was having a good time. Roy had pulled out all the stops to make her senior prom memorable. The evening had started with a limo pulling up in front of her house. He'd posed for every picture her mother and sister had taken after slipping a simple but elegant corsage over her wrist. The dinner at the steakhouse with the friends they'd met up with had been wonderful as well. He'd even been the one to suggest her family join them to take more pictures at a nearby park after they finished their meal.  There had only been one sore spot in the form of his older brother Kenny.

He'd met them at the park with a camera in hand. "Mom wanted a few pictures," was all he said in way of greeting.

Raising the camera, he tried to get Morgan and Roy in frame. "Hey D.B. could you scoot over a bit more?"

Morgan's mother had never heard her daughter referred to as such. "D.B.? What's that supposed to mean?"

Before Morgan could stop him, Kenny was answering. "Death Breath," he said matter-of-factly. Seeing the shocked looks directed at him he clarified. "You know, cause her name's Morgan. Morgan, morgue, Death Breath."

"Actually Kenny, that's enough!" Morgan was looking at him with a stern expression on her face. "I don't want you calling me that anymore. It's not nor has ever been funny. In fact, I don't want to be Morgan anymore. From now on it's Pam."

Seeing the shocked looks on Roy and Kenny's faces was somehow thrilling. Ever since the disaster that had been their first date Pam had to deal with the derogatory nickname. She wasn't going to stand for it anymore.

"You sure about that honey?" Pam's mother asked.

"Yup," Pam nodded confidently. She turned to her date. "Got that? No more Morgan or Morg, or D.B. or any of those other nicknames you two have called me since January."

The expression on her face told him she wasn't kidding. "Got it," was all Roy was able to say back.

Feels good standing up for myself for once. Who ever said a girl needs a guy to rescue her? Pam thought as Roy's arms circled her waist for a few more pictures. She was also pleasantly pleased that Kenny had somehow found the good sense to keep his mouth shut for the rest of the pictures. Soon she and Roy were back in the limo and heading to the ballroom her school had rented for the prom.

"You sure you're sure about this whole name thing Morg-I mean Pam?" Roy asked her.

"Yeah, I am. After all Morgan's my middle name anyway. My parents once told me they started calling me Morgan after my sister Penny was born so they didn't have to worry about two girls with "P" names."

Soon their limo had dropped them off. Roy checked with the driver to confirm what time he would be there to pick them up after the dance. He held his arm out of her and they made their way inside. Isabel rushed up as soon as she saw the pair.

"Hey! Oh, wow Morg! You look great! And you finally got those contacts! When were you going to tell me?"

Pam was about to tell her friend of the recent name change, but Roy beat her to it. "Actually Isabel, she wants to be called Pam from now on."

Isabel leaned back in surprise. "Whoa! New dress, new look, new name! Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

"It's still just me, just different me," Pam told her friend.

"Right," Isabel said skeptically. "Sorry Roy, I know you guys just got here but I'm going to steal her away for a moment. Girl stuff." Without waiting for an answer Isabel hooked her arm through Pam's free elbow and led her away to the ladies' room. "Ok, dish," she demanded once they were inside.

"What's to dish?" Pam shrugged. "It's not like I'm asking to be called something that's not my real name."

"In all the years I've known you, you've always been the quiet, shy, predictable girl. There's something going on here. Oh my gosh, you haven't started sleeping with Roy, have you? Is that what this is about?"

"God no," Pam denied. "You've met my meemaw, she'd kill me if I ever did anything like that. If you must know it was actually because of Roy's brother."

"Finally got sick of being called Death Breath then?"

"You try being called that for four months every time he sees you and see how long you last!"

"Fair enough."

Pam turned to look in the mirror. Her hair had always been naturally curly, but this was the first time she'd taken the time to accentuate those curls with her sister's curling iron. She was still getting used to the idea of being able to see clearly without her glasses. To her eyes her face looked empty without the frames. Isabel caught her gaze in the mirror.

"For the record, you look great without the glasses. You've always been so pretty it's time to let everyone see what you were hiding under those things."

"Thanks, I'm still getting used to all this though."

"So, has Roy actually asked you to be his girlfriend yet? This is what like the third of fourth date?"

"It's our second first date," Pam told her.

"You're going to have to explain that one to me."

"Remember that hockey game you set us up on?"

Isabel looked down. She'd been the first to hear of how badly it had gone. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Well ever since then Roy's been trying to apologize for it. Flowers, notes, cards, you name it. Well it was finally getting to all be too much. I told him that he could take me to prom on a few conditions. Stop trying to apologize so much and to never take me to another sports game."

"So, wait a minute. You haven't had a second date with the guy, but his brother has been around enough to call you a bad nickname enough to drive you to the point you want to change your name with only a month and half left of school?" Isabel was confused.

"Oh, did I not mention that every time Roy would show up at my house to apologize Kenny was there too?"

"That's...kind of sad actually. Isn't Kenny like three years older than Roy?"

Pam had was touching up her make-up as she answered. "Yeah. That was another one of the conditions. If we were going to go on any more dates, no more Kenny."

"Good for you!" Isabel was proud of her friend. "Ready to head back out there?"

"You bet!"

Together they left the ladies room and quickly found their respective dates. She'd been prepared to resent Roy based on all the conditions she'd set down for this date. As they song after song was played she reflected that even confronting Kenny in the park and changing her name had made it a special night. Finally, the DJ called out the last song of the night. Pam recognized the opening chords to "You Were Meant For Me," as Roy led her back out onto the dance floor.

He smiled down at her as his hands went around her waist. "Having a good time?"

She smiled back at him. "I am. Thanks for taking me."

"You bet."

They stared up at each other for a few more seconds until Roy leaned down and kissed her. The rational part of Pam's brain tried to make sense of this new development, but the romantic part of her brain promptly told that part to shut up. She broke off the kiss as he pulled her closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder as they continued to turn in slow circles as the song played on.

"C'mon babe, I need you here this weekend."

"And like I told you last time you called, I have finals next week and need to study. Just call Kenny or your dad and have one of them pick you up again."

"It's not the same without my baby in the stands to cheer me on. You had finals last year too and made it out to the track then. This can't be any different."

"It's different because if I don't pass these classes I won't be able to continue the illustration program next year."

"Right, next year. If I don't have my best girl there tomorrow I won't make the finals for Sunday. If I don't make the finals I can't win the finals. If I don't win the finals I won't have the prize money to upgrade the bikes. If I can't upgrade the bikes there's no way I can move up in class for the races at the end of the summer."

Pam sighed wearily and held her phone away from her ear before she responded to her boyfriend. She was in some ways glad they were talking over the phone since she knew he'd call her out for the eye roll. The last three years had gone by both to slowly and to fast at the same time. After graduating high school she'd followed her parent's advice and put off college for a year. They were kind enough to let her stay at home while she worked two part time jobs and tried to save as much money as she could to offset the loans she knew she'd have to take out. Now, as she finished up her second year she was proud of the fact she had only about half the debt as some of her classmates. Marywood University was a good fit for her. Small enough that she didn't feel like just another face in the crowd and still in her hometown so she didn't feel lost. She'd even settled into the illustration program easily. The classes on art history, drawing, painting, and figure illustration had been a joy to attend. She only wished Roy would show more than just passing interest in her studies. However, the only thing Roy seemed passionate about was the next upgrade to his dirt bike.

I can't really blame him. He's been racing the things since he was twelve.

"Why don't you just bring whatever it is you're studying to the track? You can hit the books while I hit the jumps. Best of both worlds." Roy's voice was a bit quieter since Pam was still holding the phone away from her face.

"Roy, I've been to every one of your races since the season started," she told him after lifting the phone back up. "I know you think college is a waste of time, but these finals are important to me. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when a race starts up? Most times I can barely hear myself think."

"Aww, c'mon. It's not that bad. If I can go over a engine manual while there's a race going on I'm sure you can power through one of those paperweights you call a textbook."

"Yeah but-"

"Races start at 12:30. Don't be late. I'll see ya tomorrow babe."

Pam heard the line disconnect. She sat holding the phone to her ear until the busy signal started beeping. Slowly she closed the cell phone and looked back at the to-do list she'd prepared for the weekend. Her plans had not included the hour drive out to the dirt bike track Roy was racing at this weekend. Looking down at her cell phone she punched in a well-used speed dial. Her sister answered on the second ring.

"Hey big sis! This is a surprise. I know you've got finals next week so I figured you'd be hitting the books."

"Hey Penny. That's kind of what I'm calling about. I do have finals next week and I need to study but Roy wants me out to watch him race."

"So, tell him you can't and stay there. He's your boyfriend, not your boss."

Pam leaned back in her chair as she settled into the conversation. "Huh, easy for you to say. If I don't show up he's going to start calling and texting every five minutes. I can see the texts now. Where are you? Are you almost here? Can you get a case of beer on your way?"

"You're allowed to have your own life too you know. I mean seriously, when was the last time you did something just for yourself without Roy?"

"It's been awhile. I just feel bad is all. It's not like it's boring to watch him race. He's actually pretty good and he almost never loses a race when I'm there. Isn't that what being a girlfriend is all about? Being there for him?"

"It is," Penny agreed. "But it's also supposed to go both ways."

"He and Kenny did come to my freshman showcase," Pam said thoughtfully.

Sarcasm was think in Penny's reply. "Yeah, a year ago. And didn't you tell me that Kenny was basically trying to pick up girls or find out if there were any frat parties the entire time?"

Pam couldn't help but smile a bit at the memory. "His face was kinda funny when he found out there's no frats or sororities here."

"Not the point Pam. In two years he's been to one art show and brought his brother along. Sometimes I wonder if he's in a relationship with you or Kenny considering how often they're together. I mean don't get me wrong, I love the way you're really trying to put effort into your relationship."

"Thanks."

"Even still your finals are important. I say you just text him back and say you're not going to be there this weekend and that you're turning off your cell phone to avoid any more distractions."

Pam considered that for a moment before responding. "You know what? You're right. I'll text that I'm not going to be there, but I'm not turning off my phone. I will however leave it in my room and do most of my studying in the library. Deal?"

"Deal. So, in other news, guess what I found while I was at home yesterday?" Penny's voice had a sing-song note to it.

"The ability to not be an annoying little sister?" Pam teased.

"Not quite." Mischief came through the phone line. "Remember how you were telling me you couldn't find your old high school journals?"

Pam sat straight up in her chair with a shocked expression. "No! You didn't go looking through them, did you?"

Now it was Penny's turn to tease Pam. "All these fun drawings and little notes. No wonder you wanted to go into illustration."

"What is it with little sisters and trying to snoop on their big sisters?"

"Ha! There was no trying. There was succeeding. Though one thing did stand out in one of your journals from your senior year."

Pam was sure her face was on fire considering how flushed she felt. "What's that?"

"There's a page ripped out. Now if I know my big sister at all I'd say it was intentional since I've never known her to tear out any sheet from any journal or sketchbook she's ever had."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Pam said smugly.

"Oh, come on Pam. I know for a fact which page is missing. It was one of the few sketches you showed me regularly. What happened to the Jamie page?"

"I did not show you that page, regularly, as you put it!"

"Fine, not regularly, but it was a lot. Especially after the Hockey-game-from-Hell, as you put it. What was it you said again? 'Why couldn't Roy have been as nice as Jamie?'"

A sudden longing gripped Pam's heart. Her sister was right, she had said those things three seemingly long years ago. She shook her head a touch to clear her thoughts before answering her sister. "You're right, but that was a long time ago. I would have loved to have found Jamie again, but it didn't happen. Besides I can't live in the past. Especially if I'm going to pass these finals next week."

"I'm only teasing big sis, but the occasional stroll down memory lane is fun."

Pam did find herself smiling. "Yeah, it is. Thanks for listening to me, it helped a lot."

"Anytime. I take it you gotta get going to the library then?"

"Yeah, the nice thing is that it's open late heading into finals week. Hopefully I'll be able to find a good spot."

"Okay. Thanks for calling. Love ya."

"Love you too Penny."

After ending the call, Pam sent Roy the text saying she would be staying at Marywood for the weekend. She then turned the ringer volume off and opened her desk drawer to keep the phone out of sight. A slip of paper caught her eye as she dropped the phone in the drawer. Smiling to herself she pulled it out. Penny was wrong, the page from her high school journal hadn't been ripped out. It had been carefully folded and cut using an exact-o knife. The sheet of paper had also been sealed in clear packing tape so that the image of a high school basketball player, with the number four on his back, making a jump shot couldn't be smudged. It was a sight that always made her smile. She liked the drawing because it reminded her that even in tough times there were still people in the world who cared about others rather than themselves. It was just the sort of pick-me-up Pam needed before she packed up her books and final projects and made her way to the library.

Hours later she made her way back to her dorm room. She was too tired to do anything but drop her books on her desk and get ready for bed. The next day after breakfast Pam gathered up her books and supplies again. It was a beautiful late spring day and she wasn't about to spend it in a library. Heading outside she settled under a tree and spent the rest of the day preparing for her next week's exams while listening to bird song. It was getting on towards evening when she finally packed up and returned to her room. Remembering the phone she had left in the desk drawer she picked it up to check the what she was sure was the inevitable flood of messages from her boyfriend.

At first, she wasn't disappointed. The first few text messages were what she had expected. More of him basically begging her to meet him out at the track and pick up a case of beer on the way. As she scrolled through the messages her feelings quickly changed, as the words Dad, crash, and hospital appeared across the small screen. As her knees buckled to the floor, it was then that she noticed that in addition to the missed text messages, the phone was also full of missed calls from Roy.

Hastily she punched in his number. He answered on the first ring. "Pam! Finally, you call me back! I've been trying to get a hold of you all day!"

"I know, I know. What happened?"

She'd never heard Roy so upset when he answered her. "It was a huge mess. They were all going for the same line and the next thing we knew bikes were flying everywhere. Dad had just got up and taken off his helmet, when another rider lost control and just crashed right into him. We're all at Wilkes-Barre General Hospital."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Pam told him through the tears stinging her eyes.

"We're in the emergency room right now, but they said something about surgery and after that the ICU."

"Okay. I'm on my way."

Forty-five minutes later Pam was rushing into the operating waiting room. Roy and his family were still dressed in their motocross clothes. Pam rushed to sit down next to him. He had his elbows on his knees and was wringing his hands.

She threw an arm over his shoulder. "Any news?"

He didn't say anything and just shook his head. Pam could only sit in silence with the rest of them. Looking around she saw Roy's mother Lisa, and Kenny pacing back and forth. His sister, Hunter was paging through a magazine but it didn't look like she was reading any of the words on the pages. She recognized other riders from the track who were also gathered in the waiting room with the Anderson clan. Finally, a doctor in scrubs came in the room and made his way towards the group of people.

"Lisa Anderson?"

The group surged forwards towards the doctor with Lisa in the lead. "That's me. How's Jacob?"

The doctor looked over the crowd before speaking again. "It might be best if we talk privately. Would you and your family please join me in here?" He gestured to a side room.

Lisa nodded with tears in her eyes and with a gesture to Roy, Kenny, and Hunter made her way into the room.

"Do you want me with you?" Pam asked Roy as he started following his mother and siblings. Again, words failed Roy and he could only nod. Pam held his hand as she filed in with the others and sat down.

"Your husband suffered a major head injury," the doctor began. "According to the CT scan the ER did before he came up to surgery he had a large blood vessel burst inside his head. We got him up here to surgery as fast as we could, but there was nothing we could do. I'm very sorry to tell you he died."

The tight knot in Pam's throat became overwhelming as all sense of warmth left the room. The world contracted and the only thing she could feel was her hand on Roy's back as he started shaking through his sobs.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Knock! Knock! Knock!

The apartment door opened quickly and the occupant threw her arms out wide.

"Pam! Oh my god, you sounded so upset on the phone! Come here!"

"Isabel!" Pam rushed to embrace her friend. She felt herself sobbing as Isabel held her in the doorway of the apartment.

"Hey, hey," Isabel said softly as she rubbed Pam's back. "Come on inside and sit down."

Isabel led Pam inside her apartment and the two young women sat down on the couch. Pam could only lean against her friend as her tears flowed like a river. Isabel wrapped her arms around her and gently held Pam. She didn't say a word, instead she offered Pam the gift of silence and support. Neither knew how long they stayed there. Day turned to evening and evening turned to night as they stayed huddled next to each other. Isabel only left Pam's side once to get a box of tissues to set on the cushions next to them. Eventually Pam's breathing slowed and the tears stopped. She didn't move from her position against Isabel. The two sat in silence with Isabel gently rubbing Pam's shoulders.

"Rough week then I take it?"

Pam's voice was soft and hoarse when she answered. "You have no idea."

"Let me go make some tea and you can tell me all about it," Isabel told her as she got up from the couch and started collecting the small mountain of used tissues to take to the trash. Pam only nodded and brought her knees up and hugged them to her chest as her friend left for the kitchen.

Soon Isabel was back with two steaming mugs. She set them down on the coffee table in front of them and put her arm around Pam again. "How are you doing?"

"Terrible," Pam croaked out.

"How's Roy?"

Pam couldn't answer. She just leaned forwards and covered her face with her hands as a fresh wave of tears sprang from her red eyes. Her tea was forgotten as she leaned into her friend's shoulder again. Eventually there were just no more tears to cry. Racked with exhaustion, Pam felt Isabel lower her head to the side of the couch. She didn't stop Isabel from taking off her shoes or gently lowering a blanket over her. Wrapped in what comfort her friend could give Pam fell into a dreamless sleep.

Sunlight streaming in through the slider window eventually woke Pam. When she tried to open her eyes, they were sticky from sleeping with her contacts in. Blinking to restore her vision she sat up and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. Isabel was sitting at her small table reading a book with a mug of tea next to her.

"Hey there," she said as she noticed Pam walking to the table. "Can I get you something to eat or drink?"

"Some tea would be nice. And contact solution if you have any."

"Bathroom's down the hall. I went out to your car last night and found your makeup kit. It has your glasses and contact case in there. There's fresh towels too if you'd like to take a shower."

"All my clothes are still in my car," Pam said quietly.

"I've got some sweats and t-shirts you can change into."

For the first time in days Pam cracked a small smile. "Thanks."

Standing in the shower was still too much for her. She set the water temperature as high as she could tolerate and sat on the floor of the tub holding her legs to her chest. Eventually the hot water ran out and Pam stood up and turned off the tap. After drying off she slipped on the promised change of clothes that Isabel had left on the toilet seat. Pam made her way back out to the kitchen and sat down across the table from her friend. She took a deep breath and was about to start talking, but Isabel cut her off.

"Food first. Nice thing about it being Saturday today is that I don’t have to work so we have all day together. I don't have much to offer right now besides cereal though."

"Cereal is fine," Pam told her.

Two bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios later found Pam and Isabel back on the couch sipping warm tea. Isabel wasn't sure what to say, so she just waited for Pam to start. She didn't have to wait long.

"This week has been the worst."

Isabel nodded. "I can imagine. I got your text about Roy's dad. I'm so sorry. Tell him I said that too"

 After a night's sleep and breakfast Pam felt the knot in her throat had finally shrunk enough for her to talk. Still when she did, her voice was soft and she paused frequently to swallow or catch her breath. "Thanks, I will. That's not even all of it. I wasn't there at the track when it happened because it was finals week and I blew Roy off so I could study. When I finally answered my phone, Roy had been trying to call me for hours. I left school as soon as I heard and made it to the waiting room. He didn't say it but I knew he was upset with me for not being there, which of course made me feel guilty. I was there when the doctor told us the news that Roy's dad had died. It was horrible. Roy was just sitting there crying. His mother and sister just kind of kneeled down in shock and his brother actually threw a chair against the door. They had to call security to get Kenny to calm down.
"After that is was kind of a haze. Some friends and extended family showed up to help set up the funeral. I called all my profs at school and told them what was going on. They were all really good about it and gave me times I could come in to make up my exams since the funeral was this past Thursday. Most of my make-up exams were set for yesterday morning since my profs said they had to get grades in Friday afternoon.
"So, I stayed with Roy and his family most of the week. I got away for one of my finals that I could still take at its normal time on Tuesday. Other than that, I was with Roy all the time. I've never seen him like that. It was like he was just going through the motions. He didn't really say anything at all. Not even during the funeral. Then we all went back to Roy's family's house afterwards. Some friends from the family had left a few meals so we all just sat around the table eating and not really saying anything. Dinner got done and I was going to leave since I had all my make up's the next day. But then Roy grabbed my hand and asked me to stay with him. I-I just couldn't leave him like that.
"Next thing I know we were in Roy's old room and then our clothes were on the floor and he was on top of me and his hands were all over me. I didn't know what to do or say. He didn't really say anything either. Then I feel him pushing against me and then into me. It wasn't at all like how I thought it would be. It wasn't sexy, or romantic, or anything like they say your first time should be. It just hurt, a lot actually. So, he's on top and I still don't know what to do so I just laid there with this big picture of Pamela Anderson in her Baywatch swimsuit looking down at me from where Roy had tacked it up on his ceiling.
"He got done and just rolled over and fell asleep. I just laid there with my back to him. I was kinda glad he was asleep, because I started crying. Eventually I guess I fell asleep at some point because I woke up and everything was still a mess and our clothes were still on the floor. I got up and tried to clean up, but Roy was still asleep and I didn't want to wake him up. Then I saw the clock. I'd already missed two of my make-up exams. By the time I'd gotten back to school I'd missed the other ones. My profs couldn't do anything. They told me they'd given me a chance but I'd missed it so they had to give me incompletes for the semester. My advisor couldn't do anything either. The worst part is I have to wait until next spring semester to re-take those classes since they're not offered in the summer or fall semester."

"Oh Pam. I'm so sorry." Isabel couldn't think of any other words to say.

"Thanks. I had to pack up my dorm room, which sucked of course. I hope I got everything because I was basically crying the whole time. I called Roy to tell him everything. He was finally starting to talk kind of like his old self. He told me there's an opening for a receptionist where he works. Hopefully if that works out I'll be able to pay off some of my loans while I wait to re-take my classes."

"Roy said there's a job at the paper place he works at? He didn’t ask about your classes or anything? Just trying to make sure I heard you right." Concern was clear in Isabel's voice.

Pam nodded. "It didn't really surprise me. He's just lost his dad and to be honest he's told me that he's never really seen the point of college. It's not the worst job in the world. It'll be better than flipping burgers or waiting tables that's for sure. I can also be there for Roy if he needs me. So, I got all packed up, but I was still feeling horrible, and I didn't want to bother Roy anymore which is why I called you."

"Have you talked to your family?"

"A bit. Penny said I could crash at her place while I find an apartment since my parents are now two hours away."

"You're welcome here too you know," Isabel offered. "It's only like twenty minutes to Scranton and I can clear out of the second bedroom for you."

Pam squeezed her friends knee. "Thanks. You've been so great. I think I'm going to head to my sister's place though."

Isabel nodded at her. "I understand." They sat in silence on the couch until Isabel nudged Pam in the side with a small smirk on her face. "He really had a poster of Pamela Anderson on his wall?"

Pam took a deep breath. "I know you're trying to cheer me up, but honestly, I'd really rather not remember that part. I'd always thought sex should be like this wonderful thing. It just wasn't though."

"Sorry," Isabel turned her eyes down and finished her tea. "How about a movie? Some good clean animated fun?"

"I think I could go for that. Anything to keep my mind off what a horrible week this has been."

Isabel got to her feet and walked over to a bookcase that held her DVD's. "Toy Story, Oliver and Company, or The Great Mouse Detective?"

"Oliver and Company," Pam answered with the barest hint of a smile.

"Sounds great. In fact, how does an all-day movie marathon sound? We can order pizza later."

"As long as it's not horror or some sappy rom-com. I'm not really in the mood."

They spent the rest of the day eating popcorn, pizza, and ice cream with their movies. Occasionally Pam would lapse into another crying spell. Isabel was by her side through it all. They were halfway through An American Tale: Fievel Goes West, when Isabel noticed Pam had fallen asleep on her shoulder. As she he done the previous night, Isabel gently laid Pam down on the cushions and draped a blanket over her, before turning off the lights so she could rest.

"This is exactly what you've been here for, man! Give me five years, ten at the most, to raise some real capital and you, me, Wade, and Lucas; we'll be unstoppable!"

Jim raised his bottle of beer to his lips and took a drink to consider what his friend was saying. Drake had a good point. Jim was about to graduate with a degree in sports marketing and the idea of getting in on the ground floor of a new marketing company was tempting. "What do we do in the meantime?"

Drake leaned across the table to his friend. "I was thinking about that actually. There are tons of sales jobs out there. I know you said you've thought about heading back to Scranton. Go for it! Find a house to rent, maybe get a roommate or two to offset those costs some more. Find a job that has a good commission structure, maybe a few bonuses or two. I'll bet if you don't go hog wild you could pay off your loans within a few years. Maybe if things go good with that girlfriend of yours and you two get really serious we can add her to the team too. We'll keep in touch and I'll let you know how much the rest of us have to put in and we'll be up and running!"

"Hey! Now there's an idea!" Jim agreed. "Actually, she's supposed to meet me here in a few minutes. Got time to stick around and pitch this idea to her?"

"I'll stick around, but how about you pitch it to her? Consider it your first interview." Drake raised his glass to Jim with a smirk on his face.

"Done," Jim clinked his bottle against the proffered glass and the two friends took a swig to seal the deal. Noticing Drake looking over his shoulder he turned and saw his girlfriend walk into the bar and scan the crowd of him.

"Jess! Over here!" He called out and waved her over. Jim stood up to scoot back one of the empty chairs from their high-top table. He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek as she sat down before he also resumed his seat. "Thanks for coming out. Have you met my buddy Drake before?"

Jess was peeling her light coat off her shoulders to rest it on her chair back. "I don't think so." She extended her hand and smiled at the other man. "Jessica Coleman."

"Drake Johnson. A pleasure to meet you." Drake said as he shook her hand.

She turned back to Jim. "So, one last night out before our last finals week?"

"That's the plan. What are you drinking?"

"Oh, I don't know. Something good," she said as she started to peruse the cocktail menu.

"Whatever you want. My treat," Jim told her.

The offer was a common one for the two of them. Usually Jim would see Jess's eyes light up at the offer. Tonight though, something was off. She didn't smile warmly back up at him like normal, instead kept her eyes downturned in the menu. Jim felt a pang of concern knit his eyebrows slightly closed. "Hey, you okay?"

She looked back up at them with a start. "What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind with exams coming up is all."

"Fair enough," he told her. She figured out what she wanted and after ordering the three made small talk until her cocktail arrived at the table. Jim looked back at Drake who gestured back to him to start his pitch. Jim took another small swig of beer before turning back to Jess.

"So, Drake and I have an idea. Between him, me, and a couple of our other friends we'll have a marketing major, a graphic design major, and two business majors. The way we figure it we've got the makings of a great start up. The only thing is what to start up. What's been one of your best extra-curricular experiences here at school?"

Jess considered for a few seconds. "Other than hanging out with friends, I'd have to say being on the field hockey team."

"Exactly!" Jim told her. "Field hockey. Drake here was on the intramural indoor soccer team and you know I was on the 4 on 4 basketball team. The other guys were also heavily involved with campus sports in some way. I don't know about you Drake, but it seems like the last four years have just flown by because we were always doing something on the field or court. A wise man once said, 'do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.'
"We've got an idea to do just that. We all know that none of us are good enough to go pro, but that doesn't mean our passions have to die. Playing as long as we have in all sorts of sports means we know what drives those who are good enough to go pro. We speak their language. Now the real superstars get the huge contracts. The quarterbacks, the point guards, the power hitters and the like. But without their teammates behind them there's no way anyone makes the highlight reel.  
"What we're talking about is a brand-new marketing company but not aimed at the big superstars. Everyone goes for the superstars and there's no way a new start up can compete with big companies that already have contacts everywhere. Instead we focus on the utility players that make superstars possible. We start getting them endorsement deals in the sort of local markets the big boys tend to ignore.
"Fly to close to the sun and your wings melt and you fall. Keep it low and slow and you'll soon soar. All we need is a smart, energetic, and creative person to head up our advertising section. Preferably someone with a degree in advertising." Jim gestured to her.

Jess looked back and forth between the two of them with shock on her face. "You guys can't be serious? You're not even out of college yet and you're already planning to start your own company? Where are you going to get the money? Six months, that's all you've got until you either start paying back your loans, defer them, or default. You're going to set up a brand-new company, with no experience, no location, no contacts, and no clients all in six months?"

It wasn't the response Jim had been hoping for. Still he knew she had valid concerns. "Those are all great points. When we do this, we're going to do it smart. No, we're not planning on starting right out of school. All those things you just said, no experience, no building, tons of loan debt? You're right, they're expensive and regardless of what scholarships any of us did or didn't get, we all have loans to pay. So, we take our time before really getting off the ground. Philly is only a few hours away. New York a few more after that. Big time cities with a lot of the utility players we're talking about. There's also a huge untapped small city market. Think about the minor-league players who know they're going to be called up. Big opportunity there to be the marketing team for a player just starting out their career. So, we find what jobs we can while still doing market research, building savings, paying off our loans, that sort of thing. Get ourselves set up to tackle all those great concerns you've got."

Jess was quiet for a moment and kept her eyes on her drink before she looked up and responded. "You know guys, we've got finals next week and this the last night we'll have to enjoy ourselves before then. I know you've given a lot of thought about all of this, but I don't really want to think about stuff like this. How about we just have a nice night instead?"

Jim let out a sigh, but quickly stilled the disappointment in his face and cracked a small grin. "Sure, it's a lot to think about anyway."

The three of them quickly dropped into the easy and familiar conversation of good friends. Later when Drake excused himself to the restroom Jim called the waitress over and placed an order. After she left Jim turned and gave a sly wink to Jess as Drake came back to the table. A few minutes later the waitress returned.

"Hey bud, I got us an order of teriyaki wings for the table. Feel free," Jim gestured to the plate of chicken wings the waitress had left.

"Hey thanks, man, I was starting to get a little hungry." Drake picked up a wing and bit in with gusto.

Jim leaned in close to Jess and quietly counted down. "Three...two...one...now." As he said the last word he pointed to his friend.

Across the table Drake had been looking curiously at Jim. His face changed to one of surprise and pain as he realized the wings Jim had ordered were not covered in teriyaki sauce, but the hottest sauce the bar had to offer. Sweat beaded on his forehead and tears came to his eyes as he started fanning at his face. He grabbed for his water, which proved to be a worse idea as Jim had also emptied the contents of the salt shaker in the glass while Drake had been away from the table. Tears were in Jim and Jess's eyes too but it was due to laughing so hard.

"Dude, here looks like you need it," Jim finally told Drake as he got his laughter under control and slid his friend one of two glasses of Jack Daniels he had ordered with the wings.

The whiskey did much to soothe the burning sensation. "Good one," Drake told him while still coughing. "You do know what you've got to do now though."

Jim picked up his own hot wing. "It was worth it to see your reaction." Between the two of them they finished off the remaining wings as well as anther glass of whiskey. Jess only looked on, shaking her head at the pair while munching on her onion rings. Soon they finished the last of their food and drink and headed for the door. Jim climbed into the passenger's seat of Jess's car for the ride back to the house Jim rented with another friend.

"I think I left my jacket here the other night. Mind if I come up and look for it?" Jess asked when she pulled into the driveway.

"Sure."

Together they made their way up to his room. She got down and looked under the bed while Jim look a glance through the closet. It didn't take her long to find the garment.

"Here it is! Along with one of my shirts. Now how did that get under here?" She asked with a mischievous giggle.

"Got me. I'm sure my attention was otherwise occupied," Jim deadpanned.

Something else under the bed grabbed Jess's attention. "What's this?" She pulled a small shoe box out from under the bed. She read aloud what had been written on the lid. "M-A-F-1-2. What's in here?"

"Oh that, it's nothing," Jim said hastily as he got a glimpse of the box. He hadn't seen the box in years but instantly recognized the initials written on the lid was and the contents it held. "Just some stuff that my parents gave me from my old room at home."

"Jim, it's not nothing otherwise you wouldn't be blushing." She opened the box and looked inside. Inside were a few folded sheets of paper as well as some very rough sketches. A girl with curly hair, glasses, and a turtleneck sweater started back at her. "Who's this?"

"It's kinda embarrassing," Jim told her while scratching the back of his head. "Just a girl I met back in high school. Honestly, I haven't even thought of her or that box for like, four years."

"Did you draw these pictures?"

"Yeah, I know they're not that great. I'm not an artist or anything."

Jess set the sketches aside and pulled out the folded papers. Unfolding them revealed a printed off chat log between two people. "Jim, people don't print off chat logs of people they don't care about. Let me guess though, you're 'bballer' and she's 'artfan.'"

"I was in high school. I only even met her in person once, and that right there is the only time we ever talked online. I told you, it's really not that big of a deal."

"Then why keep all this stuff all these years?"

"I boxed it up after I promised my sister to not live in the past and it's all stayed boxed up till now. My parents moved to a new house last year and were trying to get rid of stuff so they sent it to me and I guess it just found a place under there."

Jess seemed to accept Jim's reasoning before she put everything back in the box and set it aside. "There's something else, Jim."

"Uh oh. That doesn't sound good." He sat next to her on the edge of his bed.

"Yeah," she started. "I know you're pumped about this idea you and Drake have got going. I didn’t want to say anything in front of him or ruin our night at the bar, but I can tell you right now, that even though I'm flattered, I don't think it's for me."

"How come?"

"Because just before I met you guys at the bar I got an email offering me a paid internship in San Francisco after we graduate. I'll be leaving for California in about two weeks."

"Oh." Jim didn't know what to say. He'd been with Jess since their freshman year.

"Probably not the news you wanted to hear, I know."

Jim's throat was tight. "Yeah," was the only thing he was able to croak out.

She rubbed his back to take away some of the sting. "Hey, it's not like we didn't have a good run, right? I mean, we had some good times."

He could only nod as he didn't trust himself to say anything. He'd experienced many firsts with her. She'd been his first serious girlfriend, first, and to this point only, lover, and the first girl he'd brought home to meet his family among other things.

"You're strong Jim, I hope you know that. It's one of the things I saw first about you. Not the lanky goofy guy you try to be. Remember that." Again, he could only nod his head. She kissed him on the cheek before she left.

He didn't know how long he sat on the edge of his bed. Eventually the shoe box resting on his pillow caught his eye. He hadn't been lying when he said it had been years since he looked at what it contained. Setting the lid to one side he picked up one of the sketches he'd drawn. The images sparked memories that hadn't surfaced in years. He picked up the picture he'd drawn right after he'd logged off and printed his chat with Morgan. He'd tried his best to recall the way her curly hair had fallen over her glasses. Setting the picture aside, he unfolded the pages he'd printed off. Reading the conversation he'd had that night helped to soothe the pain in his heart and he was able to fall asleep easier that night.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Why didn't anyone tell me it would be this hard to find a job? You'd think after three months there would have been something better than the cell phone kiosk. And who does job interviews at Chili's anyway? Jim took another glace around the restaurant looking for any sight of the man who had set up the lunch interview. He checked his watch for the umpteenth time and squirmed again in the booth. He pulled at the tie around his neck his father had insisted he wear. More than anything he wanted to unbutton the top button and pull some slack in the knot. However, he knew first impressions mattered and he wanted to come across looking good.

"Still doing alright?"

Jim looked from his glass of water back to the server standing at the end of his table. "Yeah, I've got a job interview with the manager of a paper company. He must be running late."

"Let me guess, Michael Scott of Dunder-Mifflin Paper," the server said with half-groan, half-apology.

"Yeah, how'd you guess?"

Jim didn't catch the look of long-suffering acceptance from his server. "He just comes here a lot. The fact he's running late is pretty typical of him. But if you're interviewing for a job with him I might recommend having an Awesome Blossom, ready on the table for when he gets here. The guy loves the things."

"Yeah, sure why don't we go with that." Couldn't hurt, it is a lunch interview after all.

"Coming right up," and the server walked away to fill the order. He was back within five minutes with the appetizer. Jim thanked him and resumed his vigil of the front door. Soon a new voice spoke from behind him.

"Ah, an Awesome Blossom! Excellent choice good sir! Don't mind if I do!"

Jim looked behind him to see a slightly short man in a business suit and black slicked back hair walk around him and without preamble or permission reach over to grab some fried onion. He was further shocked when the man slid into the booth across from him and pulled the sauce cup to his side.

"Um...can I help you?" Jim asked.

"Sure," the man said. "If you see the waitress ask for another cup of sauce. I get hungry when I do interviews."

"Are you Michael Scott of Dunder-Mifflin Paper?"

"The one and only!" Michael said with a flourish of his onion petal that also sprayed drops of sauce across the table. "You're quick to catch on, young James. So, forget all that boring crap other managers ask. I want to know the real you. What makes you tick." He emphasized the last word by poking Jim in the middle of his forehead.
"So, who's your favorite comedian and favorite role they played?"

Jim shook his head to overcome some of the shock he was feeling. Still not sure if this Michael was being serious so he almost blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I'd have to say...um...Robin Williams in 'Dead Poets Society.'"

"Ah James! Classic!" Without warning Michael stood up on the table top, put his hand over his heart, and shouted across the restaurant. "Oh captain, my captain!"

The manager of Chili's was less amused as he came over to the table. "Michael! How many times have we told you that you can't get on top of anything?"

"That's what she said!" Michael called out as he climbed off the table, laughing at his own joke.

Jim could only sit in his chair and watch. He gave the manager a look and cocked an eyebrow silently asking, is this guy for real?

The manager only sighed as Michael resumed his seat. "Climb onto the table again and we'll cancel your reservation for your awards ceremony next week."

"Fine," Michael pouted. As the manager turned to leave Michael blew a raspberry at his disappearing back. "Pthbbbbbbbbbb!" He turned back to Jim. "What did you think of my performance? Williams is hard to get down. He's got so many voices and characters."

Jim still wasn't quite sure what to think. "Yeah, no! I think you nailed it."

"So, James, may I call you James?" Michael looked back across the table while grabbing another piece of Awesome Blossom.

"It's Jim actually."

"Jim, Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo, Jim Bob, Slim Jim, the Jim-meister. I was watching you from across the room before I came over here. You stayed here even though I made you think I was late and even had an Awesome Blossom waiting. You know what that says, Mr. Jim?"

That you're kind of a creep? No, he'd be expecting something like that. Wait a minute, he's being serious. He really is that kind of man-child. Two can play this game. Jim leaned his head over the table and gestured for Michael to move in close so he could lower his voice. "That I actually saw you first and knew you were there. Clearly you knew that I had seen you but you didn't know that I knew, you knew I had seen you. I however did know that you knew I'd seen you but didn't want to give away that I knew that you knew. So, it gave you a great chance to fake surprise me instead of giving away that you didn't know that I knew you knew. You know?"

Michael was slightly nodding his head at Jim during the small speech with a thoughtful look to his face. It was almost as if Jim could see the cogs trying to turn in the other man's head as he tried to figure out a response.

"I do know, Jim," Michael finally said gravely as he finished off the last of the Awesome Blossom. "I also know that you're just the kind of person the Dunder-Mifflin family needs. Someone who knows. Scranton Business Park, tomorrow, 10:00 A.M., be there!"

Holy crap, that worked!? Who says you can't learn anything from cartoons. Jim held out his hand. "You got it!"

Michael grasped Jim's hand and pumped it up and down almost violently. "You won't regret this Jim. I can tell. Welcome to Dunder-Mifflin! Here's a welcome home packet my stupid HR guy told me to give you if I hired you."

Jim looked down at the soft cover employee manual Michael had dropped on the table. If nothing this should be interesting.

_____________________________________________________________________________

"You've got to be joking! That worked!?"

"That's basically what I thought! I gotta tell you Ris, if that's what the interview was like, maybe selling paper won't be quite as bad as I thought it would be."

Jim had raced back to the house he was sharing with a friend after the interview. After changing back into a t-shirt and jeans he'd dialed his sister's number to tell her about his new job. She'd been his confidant ever since he'd taken her to prom. If there was anyone Jim could always talk to it was his little sister Larissa.

"Have you done your homework on the place? A lot of times companies hardly offer any base pay and expect you to rely mainly on commission. I mean really how much commission can you really make selling paper?"

"Michael might be a bit odd, but I did call their corporate office before the interview. I also got an employee handbook that had a lot of info too. One of their VP's gave me an overview of their commission policy. Looks like they mainly emphasize their salespeople to maintain current contracts. There is a commission cap on new accounts, but they said few people reach that it. There is base pay which is decent enough. I doubt I'll be buying a new car anytime soon, but I should be able to pay off my student loans fairly quickly."

Larissa sounded pleased when she responded. "Well that's good. Is this going to be enough for you? I always figured you'd be doing something with the Sixers or the Eagles or something like that."

"Hey, for now I'm just glad I have a job. Do I want to spend the rest of my life selling paper? Of course not, who would? But it's a big step up pay wise from the cell phone kiosk. Also, in a few years Drake and they guys will have the resources to get our marketing company up and running."

"What does Jess think about this new paper job?"

Jim was glad she couldn't see the grimace that appeared on his face. He still hadn't told her about his now ex-girlfriend. "Umm..."

"I know that tone. Something's wrong. Oh, my gosh! Did you break up with her? Did she break up with you? What happened?"

She is way too smart for her own good. "She actually broke up with me. It was about two weeks before I graduated."

"Jim, just because I'm studying overseas for the summer, doesn't mean you get to not tell me details like this," she scolded him.

"This is the first time you've called since it happened!"

"Phone service may sometimes suck here in Africa, but email still works all the time. No excuses. Now, what happened?"

Jim sighed, sat down at his desk chair and propped his feet up on his bed. "What's to tell? She got an internship in San Francisco just before finals week. A couple days after commencement she was in California. She tried to let me down easy I guess. I don't know I've never been dumped before."

"Did you try and stop her, or offer to go with her?"

A hint of anger came into his tone of voice. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well, it matters because if you tried any of those things it would have meant you were in love with her. So, were you in love with her or not?"

"I guess not, since she's on the other side of the country and I'm still in Scranton," he growled.

"Hey don't get mad at me bro if you don't know what it actually means to love someone other than family. If I remember right you didn't even really go after her when you first started dating. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you tell me that you two basically starting hanging out more and more until a certain wise sister of yours drilled it through that thick skull of yours that your friend-who-is-a-girl was in actual fact your girlfriend?"

"Grrraawr!" Jim made a frustrated noise at his ceiling. "You make it really hard to be mad at you, you know that?"

"Of course I do. Younger cuter sister prerogative," came the smug reply.

"So no, I didn't love her if your measure for love is to go after the other one."

"It's one of the measures of love, there are others too. But if it's love you fight for it, not just let it walk away from without saying anything. Otherwise it's not love you're feeling, it's infatuation, lust, or a host of other things."

"You were a lot easier to talk to about this kind of stuff before you went into that psychology program."

"Don't try changing the subject. Think about it, has there ever been a girl you've actively fought to stay in contact with?"

Jim's gaze glanced to an old shoebox set on one of his shelves. "Only one comes to mind, and oddly enough it was a girl you yourself told me I had to get over rather than, what was it you said? 'Live in the past?'"

"I most certainly did not tell you to not 'live in the past.' I told you to not pass on what's in front of you for what could have been. Big difference there, buddy-boy."

"Enlighten me."

"The first one is focused solely on feeling sorry for yourself based on nothing you can change anymore while the second is about what's right here and what's out there in the future. Also, you did everything you could to find Morgan. Can you honestly say that you did everything you possibly could have done to try hold onto the relationship you had with Jess?"

"No, I didn't do everything I could have done," he admitted after pausing to consider the question. "There was probably a lot I could have done but didn't."

"Right, which just proves my point that you didn't love Jess. I'm sure it was a good relationship for you. I'm sure you had a lot of good times, which I DO NOT need or want the details of, by the way. It's okay if Jess wasn't the great love of your life. She did teach you how to be a good boyfriend. That's something most guys don't get. She was smart and brave enough to get you through all that awkward how-to-be-a-good-guy stuff most guys struggle with. So yeah, I'm sure it wasn't fun having her break up with you, but you'll be set for which ever lucky lady you find next."

"Why do I feel like I should be laying on a leather couch right now?"

"Huh, good luck. There's no way you'll be able to afford my rates once I get out of school."

"What? No family discount for psycho-analysis?"

Laughter came across the phone line. "Ha! Here's your analysis. You're psycho! That'll be five hundred dollars for the visit. I take cash or card."

"Five hundred bucks! What happened to five cents like from the "Peanuts," cartoons. You know like what Lucy charges Charlie Brown when she's playing psychologist?"

"That's the difference between playing psychologist and being one, dear brother of mine." Larissa's smug tone was back. "Also, an added fee since I had to stay up late to talk to you since you're so far behind me."

Jim just chuckled at his sister. "Thanks, I do miss these conversations of ours, annoying as they can be at times. I'll try to call and email more often. Now that I have a better job hopefully it'll be easier."

"I appreciate that. But enough about all of that. What else can you tell me about this new job?"

"I start tomorrow, I'll do my best to sell paper and paper products in and around Scranton and Wilkes-Barre. Umm...I'm pretty sure I'll get a lunch break at some point. I mean it's an office job so not all that active or exciting. It starts out with two weeks paid vacation, but I can accumulate more the longer I stay there. Full benefits as well so that'll be nice. I don't know, it's a job."

"Have you met any of your new coworkers yet?"

"Not yet. Michael, my new boss, was the only one there at the interview. Apparently, Dunder-Mifflin keeps normal business hours so since he wants me there at ten rather than nine I guess they'll all be there when I show up tomorrow. Now that's enough about me, what have you been up to?"

Larissa leapt into telling him stories about the work-study program she was attending. She told him about the various wildlife she'd seen and the relationships she'd been forming. The talked for another hour before she finally admitted it was too late for her and she needed to get to bed. Reluctantly they ended their call with Larissa extracting a promise from her brother that he email her about his first day at his new job.

As he got ready for bed Jim reflected on what his sister had told him. Jess was a good first girlfriend. Fun, funny, sexy, but yeah, Larissa was right. I never once thought we'd end up married or anything. Goodbye, Jess. Thanks for four good years, but now it's time for something new.

"Where is it!?"

Penny started at the loud shout that came from the second bedroom of her apartment. Getting up she walked down the small hallway to see her older sister kneeling on the floor, frantically searching through a box of belongings from her old dorm room. "Where's what?"

Pam didn't look up from the box she was upending. "My Jamie drawing! I can't find it anywhere!"

"You didn't leave it back in your dorm, did you?"

"I hope not." Pam sat back on her knees.

Penny sat down on the floor next to her sister and started rubbing her back. "I know it's been a rough couple of weeks for you. What with Roy's dad and everything at your school. Tell you what, let's forget unpacking and head back to Marywood. Maybe they'll be able to let you in and you can take another look through your room."

With a sigh Pam nodded her head. "Yeah, let's do that."

Soon the two sisters were walking up to Pam's old dorm building. Pam looked around nervously. The campus seemed empty and quiet now that classes were out for the summer. Dread started to fill Pam's heart as they approached the doors. The lights were off inside and the doors were locked when she pulled on the handle. Pam cupped her hands around her eyes and peered through the glass door to see if there was anyone inside. Sadly, there was no one in view.

"Think campus security might be able to help?" Penny asked.

"Worth a shot," Pam replied as she turned from the door.

Five minutes later they were entering the security office and walking up to the reception desk. A young man looked up from his computer as they approached. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi," Pam answered him. "I think may have forgotten some of my stuff in my old dorm room when I moved out for the summer. We walked over there but it's all locked up and the lights are off. Is there any way we could be let in, so I could check?"

"Do you have your student ID?"

Pam pulled it out of her purse and slid it across the desk. She waited impatiently while the young man typed on his computer. "Are you still a student here," he asked while still looking at the screen.

"Kind of." Pam told him how she was planning on coming back for the next spring semester.

"Right, I see that. Unfortunately, since you're not registered for any classes in the fall, on our system you've been listed as an inactive student."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm sorry but I can't have one of our officers let you in."

"What!? But that's my stuff in there!" Pam exploded.

"Actually, by now the cleaning crews have probably already gone through. Anything that wasn't put in summer storage was probably sent to a thrift store."

"You can't do that! Just throw people's things out like garbage!"

The young man behind the desk raised his hands defensively. "Hey, don't get mad at me. I didn't do it. That's just the policy my computer pulled up. You could try to head over to the administration office and talk to one of the student resident advisors."

Penny wrapped an arm around Pam and pulled her away from the desk. "C'mon Pam. Let's go try that."

Their trip to the administration building proved futile though. Like the residence hall, the offices were dark and locked up. They left in defeat and headed back to Penny's car. Pam could only stare out the window with her eyes stinging as her sister drove away from campus. She only looked up when she noticed Penny had pulled into a local ice cream shop.

"We're getting ice cream." Penny flatly told her sister.

"Thanks, but I'm not in the mood."

"I'm sorry, but it wasn't a question or request. The only choice you have in the matter is cone or sundae."

Pam felt her face scrunch up with the barest hint of a smile, as she turned face her sister. She reached out a hand which Penny squeezed in comfort. "Brownie sundae?"

"You got it."

Five minutes later they were sitting at an outdoor picnic table scooping out the cold treat. "I'm really sorry Pam. I know what that drawing means to you."

"Thanks."

"I'd ask how you're doing, but it seems obvious."

Pam gave a humorless laugh. "Huh! Yeah, these last two weeks have royally sucked."

"I know." Penny reached a hand across the table and held one of Pam's. "You still have me though. And Roy."

"Roy, yeah." Pam kept her eyes in her ice cream bowl.

"Has he at least started talking again? I know you said he's been real quiet since the funeral."

Pam shrugged. "A bit, especially after last Thursday night."

"What happened last Thursday?"

With a heavy sigh Pam told her sister what had happened in Roy's old bedroom that night and the ensuing consequences the next day. Penny simply sat and listened to her sister. "Don't tell meemaw," Pam finished.

"I won't."

"So yeah, Roy is starting to talk more after all that. He did give me a heads up for that job where he works. I have an interview tomorrow. That's why I was looking for my picture of Jamie. I know it's weird and all. My boyfriend gets me a job interview and the first thing I do is go looking for a picture of another guy. It's just that, whenever I've looked at that sketch, it's made me feel, I don't know, calmer. Less stressed maybe. After everything that's happened, I figured I'd need anything to take away some of this stress."

"That's not weird Pam. That' smart," Penny told her. "I know it's not the best idea, but maybe you could try to re-draw it."

Pam absentmindedly drew lines in the remains of her ice cream bowl with her spoon. "I thought about it, but I don't know. It wasn't just Jamie that was on that page. There were other things from that day that meant a lot too. Like, I also drew a can of Coke since Isabel had jinxed me, and a bucket of popcorn since I remembered that smell from the concession stand. Stuff like that. To try and redraw it," she shook her head. "It just wouldn't be the same."

"What about you're roommate? Did you try calling her?"

"Rachel doesn't have a cell phone and I never got her home number."

"I'm sorry sis. Want to head back to the apartment? Get some more stuff unpacked? I can help you pick out your outfit for your interview."

Pam nodded. "I'd like that."

They got up and after throwing their trash away made their way back to Penny's apartment.

______________________________________________________________________________

What am I going to do?

Pam felt her hand grip the edges of the sink tighter and tighter as she stared at the reflection in the mirror. She was sure her knuckles were as white as her face looked. Reluctantly she let go of the sink and splashed some water on her face. The only thing it accomplished is that it made her face wet. The fear and dread in her heart hadn't been washed away.

I just have to tell him.

She turned off the water, dried her face, and made her way out of the bathroom of Roy's apartment. An apartment she realized she's been spending more and more time in since she'd started her receptionist job two months ago. At first her sister hadn't questioned the few times she'd stayed overnight rather than returning to the apartment they shared. However, Penny had started to ask Pam if she was officially going to move in with her boyfriend since Pam was spending more time with him.

As she walked down the hall she could hear the sounds of a baseball game were coming from the living room. Pam felt herself looking down and her stomach and rubbing her lower abdomen as she came around the corner. Roy was in his usual spot on the couch with a can of cheap beer in his hand.

"Roy, I need to talk to you." The sounds of the game obscured Pam's small voice so that Roy didn't even look up at her. "Roy," she said louder. "I need to talk to you. Could you turn off the game please."

"What was that babe?" Roy hadn't even turned his head to look at her.

"I said I need to talk to you. Could you turn off the TV for a minute?"

Reluctantly he looked up at her. "Right now? Tell you what, wait till the end of the inning, grab me another beer, and during the commercial you can say whatever it is you need to say."

Pam wasn't having it.  Angrily she grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned off the TV.

"What the hell Pam?" Roy was shocked she'd be so bold.

"No Roy, not again. Not at the next commercial break, or next inning, now!" Pam's voice was trembling.

"God! Fine! What then?"

Any courage Pam had been feeling suddenly vanished. She stood in front of him and silently opened and closed her mouth a few times before she finally was able to speak again. When she did her voice was quiet and on the verge of breaking. "I think I'm pregnant."

Anger left Roy's face to be replaced only by a blank look. "What?"

"I think I'm pregnant," she repeated.

"What...I mean how?" Roy was still flailing to grasp what she'd said.

Never in her life had Pam imagined this was how she'd tell the man in her life this news. In her dreams it had always been a happy occasion shared with hopefully her husband. Instead the only thing she felt was fear of the unknown. She sat down on the couch facing him.

"I know you don't like me to talk about this kind of stuff, but I'm late to start my period. I've never been late before, so what else could it mean?"

Roy's hands were in his face. "What are you going to do? I mean you won't really be able to have a kid with school and all."

Pam hung her head low. "I don't think I'll be able to go back."

"There are other options," he said quietly.

It wasn't anywhere near the right thing to say to her. "Roy Anderson! Don't you dare think for one second that I would consider not having a baby!" Tears were forming in her eyes as she screamed at him. She bent forward and caught her face in her hands.

The outburst caught him unaware and he leaned back from her. They stayed sitting across from each other not speaking. Roy finally broke the silence.

"So, you're going to keep it?"

She could only nod in response.

"You're sure it's mine?"

Pam looked up at him. Pain and hurt streaked across her face. "How could you even say that? Three years we've been together Roy. Three years! We've only been having sex for two months and you know full well you were the first guy I've ever slept with! What do you think I'm doing? Going out and sleeping with just any guy I meet?" She buried her face in her hands again.

"Hey, hey, that's not what I meant," Roy scooted closer to her and tried to put his arm around her shoulders.

She only angrily shrugged off his arm and looked back up at him. "What did you mean then? What else could you have possibly meant? I walk in here and tell you I think I'm pregnant and you ask me if I've been cheating on you! You're my boyfriend and you can't even say one word of encouragement. News flash, this will be your child too you know."

Roy could only look down in his lap. "You caught me off guard is all. I don't know what to do."

"Saying you're going to be there for me would help," and she buried her face in her hands again.

They sat apart as an uncomfortable silence grew between them. She almost didn't hear what he said next due to how softly he said it. "We could get married."

"What?" Pam looked back up at him.

"I said we could get married. You're right, it's my kid too and I should be there."

Pam felt herself slumping down a bit further into the couch cushions. First not the way I thought I'd tell a guy I'm pregnant and now not the way I'd thought I'd be proposed too. Still I did ask him for support and that's about as much as he could give. What else am I going to do?

"Okay," she said while still looking at her feet.

Roy wrapped an arm around her and this time she didn't object. "I know you're not cheating on me. That was a dumb thing to say. I mean, really, who else would there be? One of the guys from the office?"

He was trying to be encouraging, but it didn't help. Pam only got up and left for the spare bedroom. It was mainly used as storage, but she’d cleared a corner with a small chair, a table, and a bookshelf. It was her little space where she would try and relax. She curled up on the chair and started vacantly out the window, her thoughts numb. Roy came in later and tried to wrap his arms around her but she stayed where she was. He turned and left and soon after the sounds of Sports Center highlights came from the TV. She stayed where she was for the rest of the afternoon and fell asleep in the chair as evening fell.

She woke up the next day feeling no better than the day before. The only thing that had changed was she was now stiff from being curled up in one position for so long.  A haze of light smoke coming from the kitchen greeted her, as she walked out of the room, just before the smoke detector started blaring. Roy came out from the kitchen, carrying a chair, with a frazzled look to his face as he stood on the chair to turn off the alarm. It was then he noticed she was awake.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi."

"I thought I'd make breakfast," he gestured back to the kitchen waving smoke from his face. "The bacon might be a bit on the crispy side."

"Okay, thanks. I need to use the restroom and take a shower."

"Yeah, I'll just get things going in here."

Pam turned to the restroom. As she shut the door a new sudden cramp hit her abdominal muscles. She made it to the toilet and glanced down. The sight made her eyes well up with tears once again. She was quiet when she finally emerged from the bathroom and made her way to the small kitchen. Roy was just finishing pouring orange juice as she sat down at the table.

"Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday. I was an ass."

Pam looked up at him and swallowed hard. "Don't worry about it. Turns out I was wrong. I'm not pregnant. Guess I was just late to start my period."

Roy froze for a moment. He sat down in in a chair across from her. "Oh."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a moment before Pam looked back up at him. "I'd understand if you want to take back what you said yesterday. About getting married."

He kept his silence for a beat before he replied. "Yeah. Thing is, you were right last night. We have been together for three years. I never told you, but it's been really great the way you've been taking care of me these last couple months after dad died. So, I'm in. I don't have a lot of money for a ring or anything, but I can start saving for one. So, yeah. Let's do it."

Some of the ache around her heart lessened before she nodded. "Let's do it."

______________________________________________________________________________

"Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam."

"Hi honey, is this a bad time?"

Pam rocked back in her seat behind her desk a grin blossoming on her face. "Mom! No! How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, it's you I was worried about. When you didn't answer your phone last night for our weekly call I figured I'd try and catch you where I know I can reach you."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I fell asleep on the couch and my phone battery died."

"It's alright. So, has he gotten you a ring yet?"

Not even a minute into the call. New record Mom. At least this time I can surprise her. "Actually yes. He gave it to me yesterday."

"Oh good! Took him long enough. So, tell me about it. What's it look like? Do you know where he got it from? Any closer to setting a date?"

"One thing at a time Mom." Pam glanced down at the ring now adorning her left hand. "It's just a simple gold ring with a diamond. Umm...he didn't tell me where he got it from, but after three months of being engaged, I'm just glad to have a ring now. No, I-we're still looking at dates. I know you and Dad said you couldn't really afford to pay for much and I still have my loans to pay so Roy was saying there's no real sense in putting down any money on anything solid right now."

"Okay. I wish we could do more to give you a good wedding though, but with your Dad's knee surgery and all there's just not a lot of money right now."

"I know Mom. How's Dad doing anyway?"

"Oh fine. Hates the walker the hospital sent him home with. You should double check where that ring came from."

So much for trying to change the subject. "How come?"

"You don't want to be wearing someone else's engagement ring now do you? It's bad luck."

Pam heard the teasing tone in her mother's voice. "Mom! That's just an old wives' tale. Besides I heard another one that says marrying your high school sweetheart cancels any bad luck from a ring."

"Ehh, people have been using wedding rings a lot longer than there have been high schools, kiddo. I think I've got you beat. After all they're called old wives' tales for a reason and who better to know than an old wife?"

Pam was back to grinning. "Mom, you're not old."

"Personal conversations should only occur on pre-approved break times. You need to hang up the phone, right now Ms. Beesly unless you're going to transfer your mother to a salesman so she can buy paper."

"Hold on a sec Mom," Pam put her hand over the receiver before glaring up owner of the bossy voice standing in front of her desk. "It's fine Dwight. Michael said I could talk to my mom since she doesn't have a cell phone. Besides it's quarter to five. We hardly get any business calls this late anyway. And again, you can call me Pam. Everyone else does."

"I don't believe you and as Michael's not here today I'm going to need you to get off the phone, unless it's for official Dunder-Mifflin business."

"Fine, just let me say good-bye first."

"You have one minute." Dwight backed up from the reception desk keeping his eyes glued on Pam and set the timer on his watch.

Pam stuck her tongue out at him as he left before turning back to her phone call. "Sorry about that. Just one of my annoying co-workers."

"You're not in trouble or anything are you? Am I keeping you from work?"

"No, we're actually wrapping up for the day. I know you want to talk, but I'm going to have to let you go here pretty quick. I'll call you later tonight okay? I've had my phone charging all day so we'll be able to talk all night if you want."

"Alright dear. Talk to you soon. Love you."

"I love you too Mom." Pam hung up and started packing up her desk for the day. She waved to co-workers as they filed past her on their way out to the parking lot. She joined them as she made her way down to wait for Roy to pull around so she could hop in the cab of his truck for their ride home. He wasn't long in arriving and soon they were pulling out onto the street.

"Good day today babe?"

"I guess so," she replied. "It's not like anything exciting really ever happens around here."

"How's the ring feel? If it's too big the guy at the pawn shop said he could fix it."

Her mother's words started echoing in her head. "You got my ring at a pawn shop?"

"Yeah," Roy seemed almost excited. "Got a great deal for it too, cause I know you said you wanted to save on money. So, you get a ring and we save a ton. Win-win right?"

Pam found herself glancing down at the gold wrapped around her finger. It seemed silly but suddenly the small diamond set in the band seemed to not be glittering as brightly as it had before. "Yeah, win-win."

_____________________________________________________________________________

The snow was falling hard as Pam pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and parked next to Roy’s truck. The maintenance staff had tried to keep ahead of the snow, but it was still higher than her low shoes as she made her way up to the door of the little apartment she shared with Roy. Her feet were cold and wet by the time she’d turned the lock and made her way inside. The only light seemed to be coming from under the door of their bedroom. Kicking off her shoes she made her way to the bedroom with welcome thoughts of changing into warm fluffy socks racing in her head. She wasn’t prepared for what she saw when she opened the door.

Roy way laying on the bed with his back to her. In front of him his laptop computer was open. The images of a porn site had her rooted in the doorway in shock nearly as much as the sounds of what Roy’s hand was up to. On hearing the door open, Roy turned back in surprise.

“Oh shit! Pam!” He fumbled to close the laptop and awkwardly got up from the bed holding his pants up. “I thought you were working late tonight.”

“Michael let us out because of the snow.” She couldn’t hide the pain and embarrassment in her face. “What’s that?”

Roy’s face was red as he glanced down at the computer as he got his pants buttoned back up. The audio from the video was still coming from the speakers “Umm..just you know..”

“No, I don’t know.” Pam tied to keep her eyes on him, but the images she’d seen were burned in her mind’s eye and she kept glancing at the computer.

“It’s just...I mean c’mon Pam. I didn’t think you’d see that.”

“Am I not good enough?” Pam’s voice started to break.

“No! No! It’s not like that!” Roy tried to defend himself. “It’s that, you know, it’s just a fantasy.”

“Is that what you do when I’m not here? Fantasize about other women?”

“No! I mean... think of it like, education. Like I’m studying what would be, like, hot, you know?”

Pam quietly walked over to shut off the audio from the computer. She didn’t know what to feel. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom to gather some toiletries and put it all in a small bag. Roy was standing outside the bathroom when she emerged.

“What are you doing?”

“I need to get out of here. I’m heading to my sister’s place for the night.” He tried grabbing her wrist but she pulled away. “No! Not tonight Roy. No apologies, no trying to explain yourself, no ‘I’m sorry babes.’ So, stay here. Get your education, but I can’t be here right now.”

She ignored his pleas for her to stay as well as the new layer of melted snow that came over her shoes as she walked back out to her car. In some ways she was glad her heater wasn’t the best as the cold helped to numb some of the pain in her heart. The snowstorm turned what was normally a five-minute drive into twenty during which time her phone had been buzzing for seemingly the entire drive. The first time it had buzzed and she saw Roy’s number she’d tossed the phone to the empty passenger seat. She parked her car in the visitor’s spot and walked up to the door to hit the buzzer for Penny’s apartment.

Her sister’s voice soon came over the intercom. “Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

“Pam? What are you doing out in this weather? Hold on, let me buzz you in and you can tell me upstairs.”

The door buzzer sounded and Pam made her way up to her sister’s door. Penny met her in the hallway and immediately wrapped her arms around Pam when she saw her face.

“What’s going on?”

Pam was proud that she didn’t start crying until they were seated on Penny’s couch. Through tears and sniffles she told her sister what she’d walked in on. “I just feel dirty,” she concluded. “Is it okay if I crash here tonight?”

“You’re always welcome here big sis. God! I don’t know what I would do if that happened to me? Did you see any of what he was watching?”

“Just a bit. It looked like two girls, and a guy, and body parts everywhere. I think that’s what made it so bad you know. If that’s what he thinks is hot or that’s what he wants to do, then how can I ever be enough?”

“I’m sorry Pam. Can I make you a cup of hot chocolate? We’ll put on some dumb movie just like when we were kids.”

“You’re the best sister a girl could ask for, you know that?”

Penny smiled at Pam and gave her a side hug before heading to the kitchen to fix their drinks. As the movie played Pam’s eye caught a glimpse of the snow falling outside and wished she could throw her worries outside to be quietly buried beneath the blanket of white.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Spring light flooded through the stained-glass windows of the church. It was a comfortable feeling for Pam. The organ in the back belted out the last measures of the closing hymn before the pastor dismissed everyone as the service wrapped up.

It’s been to long since I’ve been back here. The music and words of old hymns from her childhood soothed an ache she hadn’t realized was in her. Coming to the old brick building had once been a regular weekly routine that had all but dried up after high school. Some of her thoughts and feelings had changed since then, but she couldn’t deny that the Presbyterian church she’d grown up in still felt warm and welcome. She waited until she was at the end of the line and walked up the aisle to where the reverend was greeting people as they left the sanctuary. He remembered her at once.

“Pam Beesly! It’s so wonderful to see you again!”

Pam felt herself smiling as she leaned in for a quick hug. “Pastor Dan! I didn’t think you’d remember me.”

“Nonsense. As long as your murals are in the youth room I’d never forget you. How are you?”

“Good! I was hoping to talk to you actually.”

“Of course.” He gestured in the direction of his office. As they walked he called out greetings to other congregants before they entered the small room and he sat down at his desk and smiled at her. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your return?”

Pam fidgeted with her bulletin as she answered. “Well, I got engaged about a year ago and even though we don’t really have any plans I was starting to think about what it would take to have the wedding here.”

“Oh! That’s wonderful! Who is the lucky man? Where is he?”

“His name’s Roy. He didn’t want to come with me today. Said something about a Phillies game with his brother.”

Pastor Dan leaned back in his chair slightly. “I see. Tell him from one Phillies fan to another I'm sorry I missed him but I hoped he enjoyed the game.” The sincerity with which Pastor Dan replied washed comfortingly over Pam. The way he would talk to anyone so easily without any hint of judgment was one of the things she’d missed about him. 

He pulled out a drawer in his desk and after rifling through some files came out with a sheet of paper. “I think it’s great you want to get married here. Just to be clear though, we do have some rules for the weddings we conduct in this building.” He started pointing out some of the bullet points on the sheet of paper. “We do insist that it be a Christian ceremony. I know there are other churches that allow other things, but that is something we’re adamant about. If you’d like to have the reception here, we’re not overly fussed on the choice of music, but we don’t allow alcohol. That goes for everything here, I mean I’m sure you remember that we serve juice instead of wine with communion too. Just some other stuff here about deposits and the like. The last thing is that if you’d like me to officiate I do require at least three sessions of marriage counseling before the big day.”

“Seems like a lot,” Pam said as she read through some of the other points.

“It does, but we’re talking about a lifelong commitment Pam. I know that a lot of people get upset with the church about what they perceive is our attitude on marriage. You're clearly not a little girl anymore so let me be honest. I’m glad you’re taking your time before getting married. I see far too many people rushing into getting married today. Many women I’ve talked to have this idea that if they can have this big wonderful wedding it’ll be happily ever after from here on out. Many of the men I talk to simply think that all they have to do is rent a tux and be set decoration for the day.
“My wife and I have been married for over thirty years. I can tell you one of the big reasons we’ve been together so long is that we both are constantly working on being the best we can be for each other. I still remember our wedding day, but it was just one day. Our marriage has been so much more than just that one day. Don’t get me wrong, a wedding is important. It’s a wonderful chance to celebrate two people coming together to pledge that they’ll be partners together for the rest of their lives. But when the cake is eaten, the tux and dress are put away, and the honeymoon is over you’re not getting married anymore, you are married. That can be a lot for some people. It’s what I talk to them about in those counseling sessions. If you like I have a couple pamphlets you can have that outline what I go over.”

Pam nodded. “That sounds good.”

He handed them over to her. “It really is great to see you again Pam. You’re always welcome here. I hope you know that. I also hope we’ll see you around more often.”

She smiled back at him. “Thanks. I hope so too. I’ll talk to Roy about this. Are there still cookies in the fellowship hall after service?”

Pastor Dan smiled back. “Of course. Let’s head back there. Hopefully the children’s church classes haven’t devoured them all yet.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Pam looked up from her desk as her boss came in for the morning. “Michael! Jan from corporate is on line one for you.”

“Bleach!” Michael stuck his tongue out at the news. “Tell her I’m busy. We’ve got a new person coming in at ten and I need to get ready for that.”

“Sorry Michael, but she insisted I get you on the line as soon as you got in. It sounded important.”

Michael let out a huge sigh. “Fiiiine!”Grumbling to himself he walked stiffly into his office and picked up the phone.

She made sure the call was picked up before turning back to her computer. She was so absorbed in punching in sales numbers for Phyllis she didn’t hear the door open.

“Is this Dunder-Mifflin?” She turned up to the voice and was shocked at what she saw.

“Rachel? What are you doing here?” Pam’s face lit up and she got up from her desk to give her old dorm roommate a hug.

“Oddly enough I ran into your sister last week. I didn’t really remember her, but she remembered me. She told me you were working here now so I figured I’d stop by.”

“Wow! It’s so good to see you. Can you stay for a cup of coffee or something?”

“Sure, if you’re not busy that is.”

Pam was about to tell her she wasn’t when her phone rang. Giving Rachel an apologetic glance she walked back around the desk and picked up the receiver. “Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.”

“Hi Pam, it’s Toby. Can you put me through to Michael. I think I came down with something and need to take a sick day.”

“He’s actually on the phone with Jan from corporate right now.” Looking up she peered through the blinds of Michaels office. Her boss was leaning back in his chair staring at the ceiling with his mouth open and his phone pressed to his ear. “Looks like he might be on the line for a while, but I can give him a message for you.”

“That’s okay. Um...cough cough... could you do me a favor? I don’t know if Michael told you, but we’ve got a new hire starting today. I’ve got all his paperwork ready on my desk. When he gets here, just have him fill it all out in the conference room.”

“Yeah, sure I can do that.”

“Thanks Pam.”

“Don’t worry about it. Get some rest Toby.” She hung up and looked back up at her friend.

“Something come up?” Rachel asked.

“Just some paperwork stuff. The break room is over here.”

Pam led her through the kitchen and after they grabbed some coffee into the annex break room. “So how was your junior year at Marywood?”

They talked for about forty minutes which Pam considered a small miracle. Usually Dwight would have been all over her for what he would have called wasting company time. Belatedly she remembered he’d said something about an early morning sales call and that he’d be out of the building.

“I’m glad we were able to catch up,” Pam told Rachel as she led them back out to the exit.

“Me too. Oh! Before I forget I think I found something of yours in our old room when I moved out last year.” Rachel dug in her purse and pulled out a piece of paper covered in clear plastic tape. The breath caught in Pam’s throat as she reached out for the sketch. She put her other hand on her chest as she stared at the piece of paper.

“Sorry I couldn’t get it back to you sooner,” Rachel apologized. “I kept it safe because I remembered you said it was important to you.”

Pam reached out to give her old friend a hug. “Thank you. I thought I’d lost this forever. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad I was able to get it back to you.” Rachel lightly rubbed Pam’s back for a moment before breaking the hug. “I do need to get going. You’ve got my number now, so please don’t be a stranger.”

An exchange of good-bye's later and Pam was back seated at her desk. She couldn’t keep her eyes off the long-lost sketch in her hand. Memories from high school flooded back to her. The squeak of shoes on the basketball court, the sounds of the pep band leading a cheer, the pungent aroma of a stink bomb. She brushed her fingers over the image of a basketball player in mid-jump.

Oh Jamie, where are you now? Pam was so lost in her own little world she didn’t hear the door open or the new voice that came after.

The morning sun was just starting to peek through the windows as Jim raised his hand to turn off his alarm. While he’d never been a morning person, today he found no desire to hit the snooze on the alarm as he got out of bed. After getting out the bathroom from a shower, he walked downstairs to find his roommate Mark in the kitchen.

“Hey man,” Jim called out in greeting.

“Hey,” Mark called back. “Big day, starting at a new place and all. How did the kiosk take it yesterday when you quit?”

Jim was in the middle of pouring himself a cup of coffee. “A little upset, I guess. But there’s no way working a small kiosk in the middle of the mall can match the kind of pay I can get at a regional company like Dunder-Mifflin. I mean it’s just selling paper, but there wasn’t a comparison.”

“What about your new boss? I mean, what kind of guy actually stands up on a table in the middle of Chili’s like that?” Mark was sipping his own coffee across the breakfast bar.

“I doubt it’ll be a big deal. I mean, it could be fun, you know?”

Mark raised his eyebrows. “If you say so dude. Don’t you need to get going? It’s almost nine.”

“Michael, that’s my new boss, told me to show up at ten so I still have some time. I mean, I plan on getting there a little early. Try to make a good first impression and all.”

“Do you know what you’ll be doing for your first day?”

“Not really,” Jim shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be like most other jobs. Get all the payroll and tax stuff filled out. A company that has as many branches as this one, with a corporate office in Manhattan, I’m sure will have some kind of new employee orientation process.”

“Yeah, first days are usually like that. Anyway, I need to get to the store. See ya later.”

Mark finished his coffee and left for the sporting goods store where he worked. Jim ate a quick breakfast and packed a lunch before grabbing his messenger bag and heading to his car. It only took him about fifteen minutes to make the drive. He pulled into the parking lot of a non-descript grey building and made his way to the front door. The first thing he noticed was a small security desk. From the sign out front he deduced there were several companies that had offices in the building and Michael hadn’t told him where in the building he was heading.

“Dunder-Mifflin Paper?” he asked the security guard.

Without looking up the man behind the desk answered him. “Turn right as you come out of the elevator on the second floor.”

“Thanks.”

Jim turned to the elevator and the doors opened and stepped in. As the doors closed a sudden bout of nervousness hit him. Here we go. Relax, it’s just a job. Nothing says you have to stay here forever. The doors opened and he stepped out and turned to the right as he’d been told. The door in front of him was emblazoned with the company logo. He opened it to find another door to his right. A woman was exiting as he was walking through so he held the door for her.

“Pardon me,” he said as she passed.

The woman politely smiled as she made her way to the elevator. Jim made sure the first door didn’t hit her as she walked through. Taking a deep breath, he walked through the second door and looked into the office space for the first time. A small hallway with windows on the left side led to a rounded reception desk in front of him. Due to the desk and the shuttered blinds of the windows he couldn’t make out much more. The receptionist at the desk hadn’t seen him approach since she appeared to be staring intently at a piece of paper in her hands. He walked up to the desk and stuck out his hand to her.

“Hi. I’m Jim. I’m new here and I’ll be working in sales.”

She didn’t respond to his greeting. Glancing down he saw the paper had been covered in plastic and looked to be covered in pencil drawings. The receptionist was lightly running her fingers over what looked like the image of a basketball player.

Basketball fan? Good taste. He put a little more volume in his voice and couldn’t help himself from smiling when she started at the sound. “Hello?”

“Oh! Sorry!” She quickly opened a desk drawer and placed the paper inside before turning up to look at him and reached up to take his still outstretched hand. “Hi, I’m Pam.”

For several long seconds Jim forgot why he was even standing in the front hallway of Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. Her small soft hand was dwarfed by his. Curly honey-brown hair framed her pretty face. As she stood up to greet him properly he glimpsed her petite frame covered by a modest button-down shirt, pink cardigan, and pencil skirt. However, very quickly his gaze was drawn to her gentle green eyes. He felt his hand being gently brought up and down before her smile of welcome became touched with the barest hint of confusion.

“Do you always shake hands this long?”

He came back to himself with a small start. “Right! Sorry! I’m Jim. Jim Halpert. I’m starting in sales.”

“Well welcome, Jim-Jim Halpert. Pam Beesly.” She glanced down at where he still held her hand. “Umm...can I have my hand back now?”

Say something funny! The thought quickly sprang to his head. Words were spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them as he leaned slightly over the desk closer to her. He lowered his voice and his brows. “I wish I could Miss Pam, but I need to come clean. I’m not a new salesman. That’s my cover. I’m actually a talent scout for hand models. Your hands are just the ones we’re looking for. The papers are in my bag and if you sign with us right now, by the end of the day I can have you on a plane to the French Riviera for the sunscreen ad we just landed.”

For the briefest of moments, he thought she bought his story. Her eyes had become wide and her smile had dropped as if she was considering his offer. He figured it was something in his eyes that gave him away because when she glanced back at him her lips tightened into a thin upturned grin just before she let out a giggle.

“Wow! That was good, for a second there I almost believed you. Where did you come up with that?”

Finally, she pulled her hand from his. Jim didn’t know why but he was sorry to feel her let go, but he did keep his own grin on his face. “I just quit a job at a cell phone kiosk. You wouldn’t believe how many middle-age soccer moms fall for something like that.”

She let out a small laugh and slowly nodded her head up and down as if trying to figure out if he was still being serious or not. A sense of sudden familiarity came over Jim. He couldn’t explain it, but the longer he observed her the stronger it grew. She only stopped nodding when he noticed he was staring at her again. “What is it?” she said with a small smile.

“Oh nothing,” Jim realized he’d still been leaned over her desk and took a quick half-step back. “It’s just, I don’t know, you seem kinda familiar to me.”

“I do?” Pam started to laugh, but her own eyes furrowed a bit as she started to study his face. It looked like she was about to reply when the door to the glass covered office next to them burst open.

“There he is! Jim, Big Jim! The Jimbo! And even here early. Can I pick them or what?” Michael quickly walked over to the reception desk and started shadow-boxing against Jim’s side.

“Hi, Michael. I know you said to be here at ten, but I wanted to get here early,” Jim said as he turned away from the soft punches being thrown against his sport coat.

“Good! Good!” Michael nodded emphatically. “Well, welcome to the first day of the rest of your life! You’ve already met the lovely Pamela. I’ll introduce you to the rest of fam in a bit. But first, follow me and I’ll bring you over to our HR guy who, for dumb corporate reasons, says he needs to see you first before any of the fun can begin.”

“Oh, Michael!” Pam piped up. “Toby called a little while ago. He’s actually not feeling good and won’t be coming in today. He told me that the new-hire papers were on his desk and to have Jim fill them out in the conference room.”

Michael seemed amazed by the news. “Toby’s not going to be here?” Pam nodded before the phone rang and she bent down to pick it up. Michael turned back to Jim, bowed at the waist, and adopted what was supposed to be an Asian accent. “Well, young grasshopp-ah. We shall train you well then.”

It looked like Michael was about to lead Jim off when Pam spoke up again. “Michael? Jan’s back on the line for you.”

“Again!” Michael whined. “I was just on the phone with her for like two hours!”

Pam was holding her phone away from her ear and had her hand covering the earpiece. It only slightly covered the angry diatribe coming from the speaker. “I know. She seems really mad this time. Something about, ‘he doesn’t hang up on me like that.’ Um... I can get Jim started on his paperwork if you want. I’ve helped Toby out with that before.”

“Uuugh!!” Michael looked up at the ceiling dramatically. “Okay Pam, get Jimmy-boy here started. But don’t go anywhere, Jim-ster. I’ve got a ton of great stuff planned for your first day.”

After Michael had retreated back to his office Jim turned back to Pam. “So...”

 “Yeah, that’s Michael for you.” She shrugged and shook her head apologetically. She walked around her desk and led him to the next door down from Michael’s office to a conference room.

“Yeah, I figured that out yesterday when he climbed on the table at my interview.” Jim told her as he chose a seat at the table. “I was actually going to ask where we were going for this paperwork, but here we are.”

Pam nodded, “Yup, here we are.” However rather than leaving she stayed just inside the doorway looking at Jim.

He cocked a grin with one side of his mouth at her after he caught her staring. “Do you want me to stay here, or am I going to go with you to some secret vault for this paperwork?”

“Oh! Yeah! I’ll just go get that! Ooff!!” She had come back to herself with a start and had awkwardly started to walk backwards out of the room. She was rewarded by running into the door frame on her way out. Pam rubbed her arm where it had collided with the steel frame, before turning to make sure she wouldn’t run into it again. “I’ll be right back.”

Jim leaned back in his chair as he watched her walk past the windows of the room and disappear from view. The grin hadn’t left his face even though she was gone. Maybe it won’t be so bad here after all.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Pam was positive her face was on fire as she made her way to Toby’s desk in the annex. The only way she was sure it wasn’t in fact in flames was her hand she’d placed on the left side of her face to hide her embarrassment. She was also glad none of her co-workers were privy to the internal monologue coursing through her mind.

Get a hold of yourself, Pam. I mean sure, he’s tall and really cute with those really nice hazel eyes and funny, and cute. Wait, I already thought that. Wait! I shouldn’t even BE thinking that. That door frame is really hard. He had a really nice smile. What did he mean I looked familiar? Does he look familiar? Have I ever met him before? I don’t think so. I think I’d remember eyes as cute as his. STOP THAT! You’re an engaged woman. Engaged for a year and no closer to being a married woman. Wait, where did that come from? Roy...Roy...I’m engaged to Roy. Only because you told him you thought you were pregnant. That day sucked. But Roy’s never made me smile or laugh like that before. Wait a minute, if Jim’s going to be in sales that must mean he’ll be at the open desk there next to Dwight. Right where I can see him. That’ll be nice. Jim’s hands felt nice. He’ll have to do paperwork at that desk. Oh shoot! His paperwork! He’ll have been waiting for that!

Belatedly, she realized she’d been standing at Toby’s desk holding the new hire paperwork file while lost in her own thoughts. She took a moment to compose herself before making her way back to the conference room where Jim was still seated. He got up to greet her as she made her way back in.

“Hey! I was about to send out search parties.”

She couldn’t help it and another smile formed on her face. “They’d need a safe-cracker. This file was deep in the secret paperwork vault.”

“That’s what dynamite is for,” he said with his own grin.

Pam sat down in the chair next to him as he resumed his own chair. Setting the file folder down on the table she passed it over to him. A tickle on the side of her face had her brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “So, it’s all just your standard kind of stuff. Tax forms, employee information, non-disclosure agreements, things like that.”

He nodded slightly looking over the papers as she started to explain them. “Right. When do I get my own code for the secret vault of paperwork?” He was back to grinning at her.

Michael bursting through the doors prevented her from replying. “Finally! She let me go. So!” He clapped his hands together loudly. “How are things going so far?”

Jim pushed back slightly from the table. “Doing good. Pam got all the paperwork so it looks like I’ll be busy with that for a while.”

“Right, so I’ll let you get to it.” Michael shifted his gaze from Jim to Pam. “Can you stay here with the newbie? Be there to answer his questions and the like? Great! Thanks!” As suddenly as he had appeared, Michael had turned on his heel and left the room.

Jim turned back to Pam. “I’ve filled out forms like this before. If you need to leave that’s fine.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I don’t mind staying here. It’s not like there’s really a lot to do at reception anyway. In fact, just about anything is better than sitting behind that desk answering the phone all day.”

“Well then, if that’s the case,” Jim grinned at her and pulled a pen out of his messenger bag before reaching for the first form. “I’m glad for your company.”

Pam could only smile back as he started in on the forms. He didn’t have too many questions for her as he started the first few forms tax forms. She was able to study him as he kept his attention focused on the paperwork. Her gaze drifted to his hands to watch the way he wrote. While he didn’t have the control of an artist, his hand filled out the paper quickly and clearly. She found herself becoming almost mesmerized with the way the small muscles of his hand rippled as he guided his pen.

“You’re staring at me again,” he said without looking up.

You’ve got to get yourself under control, girl! “Sorry, I was just watching your hand while you write.”

He paused from filling out the form he was on to raise his hand off the table. He turned it back and forth with his pen still intertwined in his fingers. “Something wrong with my hand?”

“No! Not at all. I just do a little drawing from time to time so, I don’t know, it’s just something I sometimes notice about people.” She shrugged at him. “Dorky, I know.”

“I don’t think it’s dorky,” he said as he went back to work on the forms in front of him. “Shows you pay attention which is cool. What kind of stuff do you draw?”

“Oh, just doodles, and the occasional sketch. I mean I was an art major, but I haven’t really done much since then.”

“Was an art major?” He glanced back at her. “What happened?”

Pam lowered her gaze to her lap. “Umm...I had to drop out. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Sorry,” Jim apologized. “I know that kind of stuff can be personal.”

“Something like that,” she agreed.

She didn’t know what else to say and apparently neither did he. Pam watched as he turned his attention back on the last few forms he still had to fill out. He asked her a few clarifying questions regarding some of the company policies but otherwise they kept quiet. He collected the completed paperwork and replaced them in the file folder to hand back to her.

“So, what now?”

“I can answer that, young master Jim!” Michael had returned and was pushing a cart into the conference room with a TV on top with a VCR on a middle shelf. He bent down to plug them in before turning to face the table again. “I told you we were going to have some fun, didn’t I? Well, in honor of your presence we will have a very special screening of a very special movie, produced by, directed by, and starring a very special Manager, who needs no further recognition.”

Pam glanced at Jim who was giving her a look that silently screamed Is-This-Guy-Serious. She just shrugged and nodded back to him.

Michael had bent over to push a video into the VCR and moved over to the wall to kill the lights. “Lady and gentleman, may I present, “Scranton Witch Project.”

The TV glowed and zoomed in on a close up of Michael. Pam shifted her chair around to be sitting next to Jim rather that from her vantage point behind him at the table. For the next hour she and Jim were treated to watching their boss rip off a horror movie while he tried to explain the various written and unwritten rules of the office. She noticed they seemed to giggle at the same points in the ridiculous movie. Mostly when the Michael on-screen would try to explain something that was obviously common sense, with an overly dramatic jump-scare. It would have been funny if Michael hadn’t also insisted on breaking in with a running commentary of the various scenes.

The movie finally ended and Michael quickly got up to turn on the lights. “Pam, could you please take care of those files? I need to give Jim the grand tour!”

Pam stood up next to Jim while gathering the folder. “Have fun.” She was relieved to see him grin at the hint of sarcasm she’d put into her words. After dropping the folder off at Toby’s desk she made her way back to reception. While she forwarded the handful of voicemails that had come in while she’s been watching Michael’s movie, she couldn’t help but glance up as Michael gave Jim his guided tour. It wasn’t a very large office and Michael’s voice carried loudly as Jim was introduced to the other office workers. She was almost grateful when Michael led Jim out of the office to show him the warehouse.

The tour looked like it was starting to wrap up as she saw Michael start to lead Jim back to his office after one more time showing Jim the intricacies of the coffee machine in the kitchen. She was about to pull up another game of Solitaire on her computer when the front door to the office burst open and a blond-haired woman in a power suit stalked in.

“Hi, Jan.” Pam tried to hide the nervousness in her voice.

“Where’s Michael?” Jan demanded.

Pam could only point to where Michael was leading Jim along the conference room windows. Jan turned and started walking to the pair with all the momentum of an aircraft carrier at full steam. “Michael! Your office! Now!”

Michael’s feet had been rooted to the floor in fear as soon as he had seen Jan appear. “Umm...I would love to. But, um, like I said before, we have our new salesman here and, well, it’s customary here that the manager take the new guy out for lunch.”

Jan turned her intense gaze on Jim and stuck out her hand. “Jan Levinson-Gould. Northeast Vice President of Sales.”

“Jim Halpert, salesman,” he replied.

“Huh,” Jan looked Jim up and down as if she were inspecting a piece of meat at the butchers. “Good to know someone here knows what their job is.” She pointed to an open desk next to her. “Sit there, call clients, sell paper. Think you can do that?”

“Yeah.”

“As for you,” Jan turned back to Michael. “I had to drive all the way from Binghamton. So, you’re staying here for lunch while we go over your sales numbers line by line if we have to.”

“But...but...our tradition!” Michael whined as Jan all but pushed him in his office and closed the door.

Pam’s eyes were huge as she turned to look at where Jim was still standing in front of the conference room. It looked like he was in a small state of shock until he looked up at her. Without speaking he mouthed wow, at her and took a seat at the desk in front of Michael’s office.

Michael might be a touch crazy, but the new guy lunch is a nice tradition, she thought. Cugino’s is close, maybe he’ll like it. It’s just one business lunch with the new guy. Just a quick couple slices of pizza. No big deal. Roy’s out on deliveries all day today anyway and it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to. She got up and walked over to Jim’s desk where he had already draped his suit coat over the back of his chair and was starting to roll up his sleeves. “Hey,” she said in greeting.

He looked up and smiled at her. “Hey yourself.”

“Sorry about that,” Pam gestured to Michael’s office.

He pursed his lips a touch. “Not your fault. What’s up? The modelling company call back with that contract?”

An easy grin flashed across her face and she looked down at her shoes. “No, not yet.” She looked back up at him. “Actually, Michael does usually take new people out on their first day. It’s lunch time anyway and I know you’ve already figured out he’s kind of...out there, but it is a nice tradition. Cugino’s is close if that’s alright.”

Jim looked behind him. “I think he’s going to be awhile.”

“I meant, I’d take you. If that’s alright.” Pam was looking down at her shoes again, not quite knowing where this sudden burst of confidence was coming from. She was expecting him to politely refuse. Instead for reasons she couldn’t explain her heart started beating a bit faster at his reply.

“Sounds great. Lead on.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

“You have got to be making that up!”

“It’s the truth! I swear!”

Jim and Pam were seated across the table from each other at the small restaurant. A small pizza was in the center of the table as they enjoyed their lunch.

“Your parents seriously sold their house, didn’t like the one they moved into, so they bought back the first house, and moved back in? Who does that?” Pam had been laughing at every twist in the story Jim had been telling her. She brought her cup to her mouth and started to take a drink from the straw.

“I think they missed the shag carpet,” Jim said seriously.

Pam almost snorted Coke out of her nose. “Ow!” She started rubbing her nose with a napkin while still giggling.

Jim was grinning at her. “Okay, my turn.”

Once they’d sat down the table a fun and easy conversation had started up. It had been Jim’s idea that they take turns asking each other random questions as a way to make the most of the lunch hour.

“Shoot,” Pam told him as she set her napkin down.

He paused to consider for a moment. “What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard?”

“Jim, we’ve only known each other for four hours and you’re already trying to use pickup lines on me?” she teased.

“Not at all,” he returned. “Trying to get you to use them on me. Now come on. Let’s hear it.”

“Fine,” she reached a hand across the table. “Give me your hand.”

“You’re not going to do anything to it, are you?” he said in mock-concern as he put his hand in hers.

“If I do, you can suck it up, Halpert,” she said as she turned his hand over to face palm up.

“Bring it on, Beesly,” he challenged.

She ignored the comment as she started to draw two parallel lines on his palm with the pointer finger of her other hand. She started making up a story as she went. “This is one side of a river, this is the other side. You’re right here.” She indicated a spot on his palm on one side of the imaginary lines she’d drawn. “You want to get to here.” She pushed on a spot on the other side. “The nearest bridges are a hundred miles that way and a hundred miles that way.” She indicted by lightly sweeping her finger on the upstream and downstream portions of the ‘river’ she’d drawn. “There are raging rapids all along this part of the river and a pack of rabid wolves are onto your scent. How do you get across?” She looked back up at his eye from where she had been drawing and started to slowly circle her finger in his palm.

“Find a log and use that to get over,” Jim answered.

“Nope, no trees around.”

“Walk along the river to where it’s easier to cross.”

She shook her head. “The river is in a canyon and other than where you are and where you want to be, it’s tall, sharp, jagged cliffs.”

“Umm...”

“C’mon Jim, the wolves are getting closer.”

“Try to jump from rock to rock.”

“The ones that aren’t raging rapids are covered in moss and you’d slip and drown.” She’d been trying to be serious as she stifled his answers to the puzzle. “So, do you know how to get across?”

He shook his head in frustration and looked up from his hand to her questioning expression. “No, I don’t.”

Pam brought her other hand up and cupped Jim’s hand between both of hers. Her face melted into her best doe-eyed smile. “Neither do I, but I really like holding you hand.”

Jim snatched his hand back quickly as laughter poured out of him. “Wow! Beesly! That was a good one.”

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders while looking up and to the side. “I have my moments.”

A glance at the clock on the wall showed their lunch hour was almost over. Much to Pam’s seeming dismay, Jim paid for the check explaining how it would be the first item on his expense account. They kept telling each other jokes as Jim drove them back to the office and they made their way upstairs. They were just approaching the reception desk with Jim looking down at Pam when he noticed her glance over his shoulder in the direction of the desk he’d sat at earlier.

He was a little surprised when she put her hand on his arm and looked back at him, a hint of warning in her eyes. “Enjoy this moment, because you’re never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate Dwight.”

Rather than turning immediately to see what she meant, Jim kept his gaze on her. Heeding her advice, he committed every detail he could, as fast as he could to his memory. Before she could accuse him of staring he stepped forward to hang up his coat on the rack behind her. “Moment enjoyed. Shall we?”

Her look said don’t-say-I-didn't-warn-you, and she led them over to the desk he’d sat at earlier. “Dwight, this is Jim. He’s new so please don’t scare him away like you did with the last guy.”

Jim stuck out his hand to the other man sitting at the desk next to his. “Hi.”

The other man kept his seat and when his shook Jim’s offered hand squeezed as hard as he could. “Dwight K. Schrute. Assistant Regional Manager and your superior.”

“Assistant TO the Regional Manager,” Pam corrected.

Dwight ignored her as he released Jim’s hand. He leaned forward in his chair with a no-nonsense look in his eyes. “Question: which is best? Star Trek, Star Wars, or Battlestar Galactica?”

Jim sat down in what was now his chair and leaned forward to answer the question in an equally serious tone. “Babylon 5.”

“False, Battlestar Galactica is superior in every way to every other science fiction series ever made. Question: Carrots, green beans, or beets?”

“Spinach.”

“False again. Beets are naturally full of B-vitamins, iron, manganese, copper, magnesium, and potassium whereas spinach does not contain copper. Question: What kind of bear is best?”

“Winnie-the Pooh.”

“False the third time. Black bear. That’s three incorrect responses. As Assistant Regional Manager-”

“Assistant to the Regional Manager,” Jim had been quick to pick up on Pam’s correction.

“-it is my sad duty to inform you that your services here will no longer be required. Clean out your desk and have a good day.” Dwight turned back to his computer and started typing.

Jim leaned back in his own chair and turned on his computer. A glance to his right showed that Pam was back at her desk with her hand covering her mouth obviously trying to hide a giggle fit from watching the interaction. Jim grinned again as he logged onto the company intranet.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“How was the first day?”

Jim had all but bounced into their house after he’d come home for the day. “Good, really really good.”

Mark cocked an eyebrow at him. “Really? Selling paper is that exciting?”

“Not the paper, but who I met,” Jim was smiling as he pulled a beer from the fridge and started to tell his roommate about his day.

_____________________________________________________________________________

The apartment was empty and the lights were off when Pam walked in the door. She kicked off her shoes and dropped her purse on the table after she turned on a few lights. She popped a TV dinner in the oven and set the timer. Looking around she saw the note Roy had left her explaining he’d be out at a bar with the guys from the warehouse and to not wait up. She made her way to the second bedroom and hunted for the boxes containing her art supplies. They’d been packed away since she’d left college. She found a sketchbook and some pencils and made her way back to the table to wait for her dinner to cook.

Her hand was slightly hesitant from little practice but as lines appeared on the page so did her confidence. The oven timer beeped and she paused to bring her dinner to the table. She continued her sketch as she ate. Soon the dinner tray was empty and her drawing was done.

Nice to have a friend at work, she thought as she closed the book over the image of Jim sitting as his new desk.

Jim woke up for his second day of his new job without the need for his alarm clock. He all but bounded to the bathroom to shower and shave. The post-shower foggy mirror reflected his normally slightly unkempt hair.  Frowning at himself he dug in his drawer until he found a comb. It didn’t take long for him to realize that water along wouldn’t be able to keep his hair straight. He glanced over his shoulder before reaching into Mark’s drawer. A quick dollop of hair gel proved potent enough to get his hair under control and straight. Satisfied, Jim returned to his room and took a glance in his closet and the seemingly small assortment of ties his father had given him. Maybe I should think about getting a few more. Choosing one, he tied it below the collar of a blue shirt he had chosen along with a pair of suit pants. Grabbing his messenger bag, and suit coat, he was soon downstairs making coffee and preparing breakfast. Mark was awake shortly thereafter and made his way to the kitchen still clad in a grey shirt and pajama bottoms.

“You’re up early,” Mark commented.

“What can I say?” Jim shrugged. “I just want to go out there and sell paper.”

Mark didn’t buy it. “Bullshit,” he said while scratching his face. “You just want to go flirt with what’s-her-name. Only reason you have to swipe some of my hair gel is when you want to impress some girl.”

Jim was glad he was sipping on his coffee at the time so he didn’t have to answer his roommate. Not that he’s wrong or anything. Not that I’d tell him.

 “Anyway, save me some of that coffee. I’ll want a cup after my shower.” Mark turned to head back upstairs.

“You got it,” Jim raised his mug as his friend retreated down the hall. A glance at the clock showed Jim he needed to get going if he wanted to be early to the office. He grabbed the lunch he’d made, but not needed on the previous day, threw on his suit jacket and walked out to his car. He was just pulling out of his driveway when his cell phone started chiming at him. A smile formed on his face as he glanced at the caller ID and answered the call.

“Hey kiddo! How’s your senior year treating you?”

“I wouldn’t know yet,” Larissa answered him. “One of the nice things about being a senior is being the first to pick classes and I decided I didn’t want any real early starts this year. My first class doesn’t start till eleven.”

“So, what are you calling me so early for? Sleep is a wonderful thing, cherish it! By all that is holy cherish your sleep!” Jim chuckled at his own mock-rage.

“I wanted to continue our discussion last night. I was kinda busy getting settled in so I had to cut you short. What else can you tell me about this Pam you’re so obviously infatuated with?”

Even though he knew she couldn’t see him, Jim still shrugged his shoulders. “She’s really pretty. Got a great smile. Laughs at my jokes.”

“You guys must be perfect for each other since no one else will.”

“Ha, ha. It feels more than that. I mean, I think there was only one other time in my life I was able to talk to a girl so easily. I mean, Pam’s not really a girl anymore, but you know what I’m talking about.”

Larissa’s teasing voice was painfully clear to Jim. “Wow, big bro. When you fall you fall hard. You’ve known this Pam, all of what, eight hours, and you’re already comparing her to the long-lost-love of your high school days? Please, let me be there when you tell her that, by the way. I’ll want video evidence when she finds out just how huge of a romantic you are.”

“Not on your life little sis.” Jim was grinning into the phone.

“Fine. But seriously, she’s easy to talk to?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s like I don’t even have to think about it. It was just natural, free, and easy to talk to her. I’m thinking I’m going to see if she’s free for dinner tonight.”

“Hold your horses there cowboy,” Larissa admonished. “One lunch, that by your own admission was a new guy tradition anyway, doesn’t mean she’s just going to throw herself at your feet. Try friendship before romance. Also, there could be rules against inter-office romances.”

Jim let out a sigh. He knew his sister was right, again. Didn’t mean he had to like it. “Don’t you ever get tired of being so smug all the time?”

“Nope! What else would I do with my time?”

“Bug Pete or Tom?” Jim suggested.

“They’ve never been as much fun to bug as you. Besides, who else would be your pranking partner?”

“Oh! That reminds me,” Jim was glad for a chance to change the subject. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you about my desk mate. If ever there was an easy mark, he would be it.”

“Details then! There’s no way I can help you unless I’ve got info. You don’t want to get caught, do you?”

Over the next few minutes Jim explained what peculiarities he’d been able to gather from his observations on Dwight the previous day. Larissa let him talk, only interjecting to ask a question for clarification from time to time. “Clearly, I don’t want to do anything destructive. I’d go for bewildering at this point,” he concluded.

“Hmmmm, you’ve got yourself a challenge here,” Larissa replied.

“Don’t I know it,” Jim told her. “Any quick ideas? I’m pulling into the parking lot right now and Dwight seems like he would be the one who always wants to be on time just to suck up to the boss just that much more.”

“I’d start small and work your way up. Maybe something like when he gets up from his desk, move his stapler or something. The next time he gets up, move the stapler back and move something else. I get the feeling this Dwight is a place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place kind of guy.”

Jim’s eyes scanned the parking lot as he found a space. There were plenty of open spaces, but it was more of a who, rather than a what he was looking for. He was rewarded by the sight of Pam steering her own car into the lot. “Sounds, great sis. Sorry, but I've got to let you go. Have a good semester.”

“Thanks. Talk to you later.”

“You too. Bye.” Jim ended the call as he turned off his car. He quickly gathered his things and stepped out. Making his way over towards her, he called out her name. “Pam!”

She looked up at him as she closed her door and a smile formed on her face. “Hey Jim! Getting here on time today I see.”

“Yeah, that paper won’t sell itself, regardless of what Michael says.” He looked down at her car and an idea quickly sprang to mind. “Stick shift huh?”

She glanced back down at her car. “Yeah,” she said looking back at him. “It’s kind of a jalopy, but it still runs.”

They started walking to the front door after she locked her car door. “You know, I’ve never learned how to drive a manual,” Jim told her. “Any chance I could get a few pointers?”

“Sure,” she agreed. “Fair warning, I’m not the best teacher.”

“I don’t mind,” Jim replied as he held the front door open for her. Any further conversation was cut short as a maroon Trans Am barreled into the parking lot. Loud rock music was pumping through the open windows over the sound of squealing tires. The car came to a halt but the driver kept playing air drums against the steering wheel.

Taking a second to look at each other Jim and Pam quickly ducked inside and hit the button for the elevator. Luck was on their side as the doors slid open right away and they stepped in. “Does he always come in like that?” Jim asked her once the doors were safely closed in front of them.

“Only on days when he’ll be out on sales calls. It’s how he pumps himself up for sales, or so he says.”

Jim tapped his chin in thought. “Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?” Pam asked while looking up at him.

He looked down at her with a conspiratorial look to his eye. “Has anyone ever tried taking him down a peg or two?”

“Not really. He may be annoying, full of himself, and thinks he’s better than everyone, but for the most part he’s just a harmless suck-up.”

“Well, if I’m going to be sitting next to him for the foreseeable future, I think he’ll need a to come down to the level of the common office drone. Here’s what I have in mind.” Jim explained the basic outline of the prank he’d discussed with Larissa when the elevator doors opened and they made their way to the office doors.

“A good start,” Pam told him as she unlocked the door, let them in, and started turning on the lights. “But it might be better if all you do is switch two things on his desk. He’ll notice for sure and change them back to how he had them. Switch them back when he’s not looking so he’s always having to put them back in their original places.”

Jim couldn’t help but grin. “Sneaky yet subtle. Good call Beesly.” At once he walked over to Dwight’s desk and replaced the calculator on the left side of the desk for the pencil cup on the right. Two things he’d seen Dwight use constantly the previous day, so Jim knew Dwight would notice the change in pattern. Jim glanced up at Pam and flashed her a grin and a wink before they both sat down at their respective desks to start the day. She grinned back before schooling her expression as Dwight made his presence known.

“Attention in the office! Let it be known your superior and better has arrived!”

“It’s just us three in here right now Dwight,” Pam told him calmly with a nod to Jim. “You don’t need to shout.”

“Oh, but I do!” Dwight told her as he walked backwards to his desk. “Today is the day that with Michael’s blessing I’ll land the prestigious and lucrative Chesterfield account. Only one other paper salesman in the history of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton has even had a chance to talk to Jay Chesterfield of Chesterfield Septic Systems. Our very own fearless leader. Once I secure that account he’ll know just who his real protégée in this office will be now and for years to come.”

Jim was tempted to stick his foot out for Dwight to trip over but held off. There were better practical jokes anyway. Rather he made of show of turning on his computer and organizing files on his desk as he waited for Dwight to react to his prank. Still a little encouragement never hurt too.

“Hey Dwight, do you have a pen I could borrow?”

“You don’t have your own?” Dwight replied sardonically without looking up from the file he was engrossed in.

“I do, but none of them are stamped with Dunder-Mifflin. Only the best pens are worthy for the best paper.”

Dwight looked up at his desk mate and nodded with an approving grimace. “There may be hope for you yet rookie.” He reached forward to grab a pen only to find his calculator instead. “That’s weird.” Dwight glanced across his desk and quickly noticed his pen cup on the other side. He switched them back to their usual places before handing Jim a pen.

Jim kept his face neutral as he accepted the pen. “Thanks Dwight.” A ping sounded from his computer causing Jim to look up. There was a new message on the inter-office instant messenger he’d set up the previous day.

pbees: That’s one. Bet you can’t switch cup and calculator more than 5 times before noon.

Eyebrows raised, Jim turned his chair slightly to face both his monitor and the reception desk. Pam gave no indication she’d seen the exchange as she had the phone on her shoulder looking for all accounts to be checking any voicemails that had come in overnight. He grinned as he typed a reply.

jhalp: You’re on. What are the stakes?
pbees: 5 switches or less, you buy me some chips. 6 switches or more, I buy you some chips. Loser pays up in the break room at lunch. Also, turn off the notification sound. You want everyone in the office to know when you’re IM’ing?

Jim quickly made the adjustment to his IM preferences.

jhalp: Deal *offers hand to shake*
pbees: *shakes back* I like French Onion by the way.
jhalp: Considering I only need five more switches I think you should know that I’ve always been a fan a BBQ myself.

The grin stayed on his face as Jim thought he heard a small cough of disgust come from behind the reception desk. By now other co-workers had also started to arrive for the day. Further computer discussion was stalled as Pam welcomed each new face that came through the door. Most of their co-workers ignored her as they made their way to their desks. It was only Toby and the woman who had introduced herself yesterday as Phyllis who returned Pam’s greeting with any sense of warmth.

jhalp: Kinda rude for most everyone to ignore you like that.
pbees: I’m used to it by now. Thanks though.
jhalp: It’s really nice of you to be welcoming like that.
pbees: Boss alert! Try to look busy!

Sure enough, Michael Scott had burst into the office humming a song loudly to himself before turning the corner into his office. Dwight wasted no time in following his boss, clearly intent on his mission to obtain the Chesterfield account. Once the two of them were behind the closed door of Michael’s office, Jim seized the chance for his second cup and calculator switch. He looked up at reception to see Pam watching. He found he couldn’t keep the hint of smugness from his face as he held up two fingers to her. She only responded by rolling her eyes and turned back to her computer.

_____________________________________________________________________________

I gotta give him credit, he’s good. Pam glanced at the clock on her computer which read 11:30. Jim had already completed three more cup and calculator switches. I’m going to owe him chips at this rate. There’s no way he won’t be able to pull off another one before noon. Maybe I can distract him.

pbees: How you doing over there Halpert?

Her eyes kept flicking over the top of her desk to try and catch his reaction.

jhalp: Oh fine, looking forward to a free bag of BBQ chips in about a half hour.
pbees: You still have one switch to go you know.
jhalp: All in due course.
pbees: I do have to admit, getting him to think aliens were responsible last time was pretty funny.
jhalp: After his comment about Battlestar Galactica yesterday I couldn’t resist.
pbees: What about you? Any dorky habits I should know about?
jhalp: Dorky? You wound me. Other than a slight video game obsession, I don’t think so. I do play a lot of pickup basketball with some of my college buddies or whoever's up for it at the gym.
jhalp: Besides if we’re talking about dorky, it was you who admitted to the dorky habits already.
pbees: I did not! When?
jhalp: Did you or did you not tell me yesterday that you will sometimes doodle and then went on to call said habit, dorky?

She glanced up only to see an entirely all too pleased-with-himself grin on his face as he kept his eyes on his computer screen.

pbees: Actually, I want to thank you. This is the most fun I’ve ever had at work.

Her eyes raised over her desk as she sent the message. That should distract him. Wait a minute. Is he blushing? Awww, that’s cute. What else? Oh! I know

pbees: Did you do something different to your hair this morning?
jhalp: I discovered a long-long friend called, ‘comb.’ His friend hair gel came along for the ride back from the desert of forgetfulness. I figured I should start looking more professional and all that.
pbees: To tell you the truth, I kinda liked it better yesterday when it was all kind of...oh how do I describe it?
jhalp: Mop-topish?

Despite herself she could stop the giggle escaping her lips. Her glance up at Jim showed he was also looking her way with a very cute smirk on his own face.

pbees: That’s it exactly. Thanks.
jhalp: No problem. But anyway, enough about me. We spent almost that whole lunch yesterday, and now most of this morning talking about me. What’s the Pam Beesly story?
pbees: Not much to tell sorry to say. Grew up over in Archbald. Tried the whole college thing for a couple years but it didn’t work out. My folks moved over to the Harrisburg area last year after my grandpa got sick and passed. I’ve been here answering phones to pay off what loans I have left.

He doesn’t really need to know the rest. Keep it simple.

jhalp: How much do you have left to pay?
pbees: About five thousand, somewhere around there. I put off college for a year out of high school and saved up a lot so I didn’t have a ton of loans to pay off in the first place.
jhalp: Great job! Those loans suck. So, originally from Archbald then? Did you go to Valley View HS by any chance?
pbees: Yeah, how did you know that?
jhalp: I played basketball back in high school. I think we played you guys once or twice a season.

She was about to respond back when Michael burst out of his office. “Dwight! This is your chance!”

The salesman in question bounded to his feet with anticipation in his eyes. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

“It does. I just scored you a lunch appointment with Chesterfield Septic Systems. One catch, Jay Chesterfield said he wanted two people there since he was bringing two people. You’ll have to take a partner.”

Dwight seemed to steel himself for a moment. Taking a partner meant splitting the commission. His need to be the top salesman on his own clashing with his need to impress his boss. “Fine!” he finally blurted out. “I’ll take Stanley or Phyllis.”

“Nope! No can do.” Michael was shaking his head. “We need to get the young blood out there. Jimbo!” Michael turned to face Jim. “You’re going on your first sales call!”

At first Pam was excited, she’d win their bet for sure now since it was clearly a lunch meeting. But then he won’t be able to buy my chips for me today.

Jim seemed equally annoyed at the news. “Ummm...are you sure that’s a good idea Michael? Don’t you want a more experienced salesman on this one?”

“I hate to do it, but I agree with the rookie,” Dwight chimed in. “He’s far too inexperienced to handle this kind of responsibility.”

Pam watched as the expression on Jim’s face turned from one of disappointment to one of determination. “Actually, now that you mention it, I will head out with Dwight. Jump right into the deep end,” he told Michael.

“That’s the spirit!” Michael clapped him on the shoulder. “You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to memorialize this moment for all time. Jim, Dwight, go stand over by that wall. I need to find my camera.”

Jim pulled his suit coat on and joined Dwight near the clock as Michael emerged a few seconds later from his office with his camera in hand. “Say ‘sales!’”

The picture was quickly taken and she watched as Jim and Dwight made their way past her desk and walked out the door. At least he owes me a bag of chips when he gets back. She turned to her back to her computer to open a game of Solitaire when she heard a voice call out from the hallway outside.

“Be right back Dwight! I forgot my bag!”

Her face lit up as Jim came back in. However, he didn’t say anything and rushed past her to grab the messenger bag from the bottom drawer of his own desk. He slung it over his shoulder and turned to face Pam with a glint in his eye as he backed up and stood before Dwight’s desk. She felt a tight-lipped grin of annoyance come across her face as she perceived the real reason he had come back in the office. Quick as a flash he switched cup and calculator for the sixth time and claimed victory. He didn’t say anything as he passed her desk again, but his grin stayed intact. He did turn to face her as he approached the door and sweeping his arm in front of him took an elaborate bow before heading out of the office.

Smooth Halpert, I’ll give you that. She shook her head and got up from her desk to head to the break room. A bet was a bet and she was sure he’d appreciate seeing the bag of chips waiting for him on his desk when he got back to the office. She was on her way back to his desk with the snack when Phyllis caught her attention.

“Excuse me Pam. Do you think you could run off five copies of these promo flyers for me? You know I hate to bother you with stuff like that, but I’m really behind on cold calls.”

“Sure, no problem.” Pam told the older woman as she took the document.

“Don’t you usually get French Onion chips?” Phyllis pointed at the bag in Pam’s hand.

“This? Oh no! These aren’t for me. I made a bet with the new guy Jim and he won so I have to buy him chips for lunch.”

A sly grin spread over Phyllis’ face. “I’ve never seen you do that for any other new employee before.”

Pam instantly felt her face warm up again and she glanced down at her shoes. “No! It’s not like that. I...ummm”

“It’s okay sweetie,” Phyllis told her. “I’d be flattered too if the new guy had a crush on me.”

“We’re just friends,” Pam insisted as she shifted from one foot to the other. Phyllis only shrugged in response before she turned back to her day’s cold call sheet. She felt more than a little stunned as she set the bag of chips down on Jim’s desk as she made her way back to her own.

Does he really have a crush on me? I mean, we seem to get along really good, but we haven’t even known each other for two days. Wait a minute, what is this, high school all over? It’s not like I’m going to get a note from him asking me to circle yes or no if I like him or not. Oh wait, that would be middle school, not high school. I mean why would he have a crush on me? It’s not like I’m all that special or anything. I don’t really even wear makeup. What was it that Angela said? Oh yeah, that I was Little Miss Frump. Like she’s one to talk going around looking like a nun most days. What was I thinking about again? Jim, that’s right. He is really a nice guy.

Without knowing it her right hand had moved to her left while she was lost in thought. However, her fingers didn’t find what they had been searching for which caused her thoughts to skew into another direction.

Wait a minute. That feels wrong. Where’s my ring? That’s right Roy said he would be bringing it back today from getting it cleaned. Wait! Is that that why Jim has been acting like that? Did I ever tell him I’m engaged? I don’t think I did. I tell everyone that, why wouldn’t I tell Jim? Crap, now I feel bad. He’ll probably think I was leading him on or something. I don’t think I was. I hope not. Shoot, just when we get a normal guy here at the office who for whatever reason seems to like hanging out with me, I’m going to have to go and break that kind of news.

Still, I promised Roy we’d be together for the rest of our lives, right? I mean what’s wrong with Roy? He’s big, strong, we can pay the bills. He takes me out to dinner. To the bar, where I have to drive us home after he’s had a couple pitchers of beer. But we’ve been together since high school and how many girls actually get to say they married their high school sweetheart? Not many. At least that’s what Roy’s mother is always saying when we go over there.

I’ll just have to do my best to let Jim down easy. Still it’s nice to think someone as nice a Jim could be interested in plain old me.

The ringing phone finally broke her out of her reverie. “Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.” Back to work.

“Hi honey, how’s your day going?”

Pam’s momentary case of the blues evaporated as she heard the other voice. “Hi Mom! Going good so far.”

“Nothing new or exciting in the wide world of paper?”

The fact that her Mom liked to tease her about her job was one of the reasons Pam felt so close to her mother. “Not in the world of paper, but we do have a new guy here at the office.” Pam looked around and saw people were starting to get up for their lunch break. “Hey, I’m glad you called when you did, but can I let you go and call you back on my cell?”

“Sure, talk to you again in a couple minutes.”

“Yup, bye Mom.” Pam hung up her phone and after gathering the salad she’d prepared for her lunch and her cell phone made her way down to her car to talk and eat in peace. She cranked down the windows to let the breeze in before dialing her Mom’s number.

“Didn’t want your co-workers to eavesdrop?” Helene Beesly asked her daughter when she answered the call.

“Nope, they love to pry and it gets old after a while.”

“I don’t blame you. So, who’s this new guy you mentioned?”

“His name’s Jim,” Pam told her as she poured dressing over her salad. “He graduated from Penn State last spring, plays basketball, used to sell cell phones at the mall, but most importantly he came up with an idea to start pranking Dwight and he let me help out with the planning.”

“That’s what’s most important? He plays pranks on co-workers?”

“Mom! I’ve told you about Dwight before. Trust me, this is a good thing. If anyone deserves to be the object of a prank or two it’s Dwight.”

“No, you’re right. So, what did you and this Jim do? Put toner in his desk drawers or something?”

“We actually, well it was Jim who did it, but it was sorta my idea, but Jim switched two things on Dwight’s desk. Dwight would obviously switch them back, and then whenever Dwight was away from his desk, Jim would switch them back. I bet Jim he couldn’t get away with doing that five times before noon or I’d buy him a bag of chips.”

“Or else he would have to buy you chips or candy or something? So what kind of chips is he getting you?”

Again, Pam felt her face grow warm. “Umm...Jim managed to switch the stuff six times before noon. There’s a bag of quality generic BBQ chips waiting for him on his desk as we speak.” Helen didn’t reply or comment on the fact that Pam had lost the bet. She didn’t reply at all which caused Pam to check her phone to make sure the call hadn’t been dropped. “Mom? Still there?”

“I’m here honey. It’s just so great to hear the smile in your voice again. I haven’t heard that in a long time.”

“What?”

“Maybe it’s a mom thing, but I can always tell from the tone of your voice when you’re smiling, and it’s been far too long since I’ve heard it. It’s just great to hear is all.”

“I smile when I talk to you. Don’t I?”

“You used too. Back when you were in college and talking about an art project. When you’d tell me what you and your sister were going to do for the weekend. Or back when you were in high school and you told me about that boy who stood up for you that one time after your glasses broke. It just does my heart good to hear you happy again.”

“I am happy Mom! In case you forgot I’m engaged to be married! What else would make me happy?”

“Apparently this new co-worker for one. I know you’re engaged Pam and that you’re trying to plan out your future with Roy. But just because you’re engaged or married, it doesn’t mean you can’t have friends who bring a smile to your face.”

That’s right, Jim and I can be friends. A feeling of acceptance grew to life in Pam as she listened to her mother. “You’re right Mom. But enough about me. How’s Meemaw doing? Settling into her new condo?” Pam spent the rest of her lunch hour enjoying her salad and the conversation with her mother until it was time for her to head back upstairs to her desk.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Do you Jim Halpert take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Do you Pam Beesly take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Hot shit! You kicked ass!”

Jim came back to his present from his daydream to the sound of Dwight’s exclamation. They were on their way back from their lunch meeting having secured a renewing account with Chesterfield Septic Systems. He looked over to his perm-clad partner who was reaching for the radio to start cranking the rock music back up.

“What was that?” Jim shouted over the sounds of electric guitars. Dwight didn’t hear him. He was too busy headbanging and drumming his hands against the steering wheel to pay Jim much attention. That was fine for Jim. He was glad of the reprieve.

The meeting had gone well, Jim reflected. Maybe we could make an act of this. Keep playing good-cop bad-cop. Or at least good-cop weird-cop. It did seem to work at least and we made the sale. Decent commission too, even with having to split it. I might be able to get my loans paid off quicker than I thought. That would be good, I could start saving for other things. I hope the guys at Zales remember me from my time at the mall. They were always cool to talk too. I can’t wait to tell Pam about this lunch. It might even make up for having to skip lunch with her. She still owes me chips, no way she’s getting out of that.

The drive back to Dunder-Mifflin seemed to fly by. Dwight had to steer his car around one of the delivery trucks that had come back since they had left. Jim let his fellow salesman air-guitar his way into the office and up the elevator. Knowing he’d won the bet and that he’d be able to tell Pam about it kept his annoyance level down as they made their way back into the office. To a sight he was completely unprepared for.

Another man was leaning over the reception desk smiling down at Pam. He had on one of the shirts he’d seen other warehouse workers wearing, but that wasn’t what caught Jim’s eye. It was the ring he was holding out to Pam. A ring she was putting on the fourth finger of her left hand, that froze his heart solid. Not even the warm smile Pam gave him as he walked up to her desk made a dent in the ice that now engulfed his chest.

“Jim! You're back! How’d the sales call go?”

She asked you a question dummy, don’t just stand there. Answer her. “We made the sale,” was all he was able to croak out.

“That’s great! Good job. Oh, Jim. This is Roy, my fiancé. He was out on deliveries all day yesterday so you may have missed him when Michael showed you around.”

Stay calm. “Hi, as you’ve gathered I’m the new guy. Jim Halpert.”

“Roy Anderson,” answered the other man as he shook the hand Jim offered. “Welcome to Dunder-Mifflin. Pimple on God’s ass that it is.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’s that bad,” Jim told him while carefully avoiding looking down at Pam.

Roy only scoffed at Jim’s suggestion. “Huh, you only just started. Just wait till you’ve been here a few years.” Roy turned back to Pam. “So anyway babe, sorry it took so long to get back. The pawn shop guy had to send it out to get cleaned which is why it took so long.” Roy noticed Jim was still standing there. “Can I help you with something? Don’t you have to go sell more reams or whatever? Gotta keep us guys downstairs running ragged or something like that?”

“Yeah! No! I mean...you’re right. I should get back to work.” Reluctantly Jim turned back to his desk. He was sure Dwight would get the contract filed and turned over to Accounting. He sank heavily into his chair and dropped his bag on the floor next to him. He stayed sitting in his chair staring blankly ahead. It wasn’t until he felt something hit him in the side of his head that he moved. It was a crumpled-up sticky note. He unfolded it to see neat writing in the center of the small sheet.

Check your IM. I’ve been trying to catch your attention for five minutes now.

Indeed, his IM screen was quite full.

pbees: Awesome job on getting that sale. On your second day too! That's so great!
pbees: Also, your reward sir. One bag of BBQ chips fresh from the break room.
pbees: Hey, you ok over there?
pbees: Jim? Jiiiiimmmm. Earth to Jim, come in please.
pbees: Jim you haven’t moved for like two minutes. Is something wrong?
pbees: Jim, two laboratory mice just took over the world. One is actually a genius, the other’s insane.
pbees: I’m going to throw something at you soon if you just keep sitting there.
pbees: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Despite the lump of ice that used to be his heart, Jim felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards. He glanced up and saw Pam was alone again at her desk looking at him with concern. With a sigh, he got up and walked over to her desk.

“I have something of yours,” he told her, tossing back the sticky note.

“I had to do something,” she said as she tossed the scrap of paper into her recycling bin. “One minute you come back in looking like you’ve won a marathon, the next you’re staring at your computer not moving for like five minutes.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I got distracted.”

“I get it.” Jim watched her as she took a deep breath. “I think I owe you an apology. I didn’t tell you yesterday at the pizza place I was engaged. I hope you don’t think I was like, leading you on or something.”

Jim shook his head at her. “No, don’t worry about it”

“Okay, it was a lot of fun messing with Dwight this morning. I hope we can keep doing stuff like that.” He knew she was trying to be nice and make up for not telling him about her engagement. At first, he wanted to scream, but then he looked into her eyes and saw she truly was regretful. He found he couldn’t stay mad at her and he felt the ice in his chest start to crack.

“Yeah, I’d like that. What are friends for, right?” The smile that appeared on her face caused more ice to crack.

“Right,” she agreed. “It’s what friends are for. Oh, one more thing, while you were out I had another idea.”

“Another prank I presume?” Just keep talking to her. She’s still fun to talk to even if she’s engaged to someone else.

“No, this is something else. I was thinking about how earlier you said it was rude for people to ignore me in the morning when they all walk in. So, I thought maybe leaving some candy out would change that.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. What did you have in mind?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, I hadn’t got that far. Any suggestions?”

He paused to consider options for a few moments. “I’ve always been partial to jellybeans.”

She grinned back up at him. “Jellybeans it is.”

"No, no! Easy! Third gear, THIRD gear! I swear Halpert, if you fry my clutch you're paying for it. Brake and clutch together this time please. Good, now downshift and easy on letting off the clutch. Please tell me you sell paper better than you drive a car." Pam's knuckles were white from the death grip she had on the sissy bar. It didn't help that Jim was grinning like a fool in the driver's seat.

"Oh relax, Beesly," Jim smirked as he moved the gear shifter again. The gears grinded for a second but at least the car didn't stall, this time. "We're almost there."

"Next time I drive," she told him, her voice tinged with exasperation.

"Next time? I like the sound of that. Nice to know I haven't failed out of the Beesly Driving School yet."

"Don't push your luck. We're going to be late you know."

"Nonsense. Look, we're already here and by showing up late it means we missed Michael's latest motivational speech and the glare Dwight gets whenever he tries to back-up whatever Michael is going on about."

Pam turned her head to look. Michael was standing on top of a picnic table surrounded by their bored-looking co-workers. Dwight, as usual, was nodding along sagely to whatever it was that their boss was saying. Pam was just distracted enough that she didn't realize Jim had pulled smoothly into a parking space without so much as a whisper from the car's transmission.

Jim mentally kicked himself. Easy with that or she'll stop trying to teach you how to drive.

Fortunately, she hadn't seemed to notice and looked more than a little relieved to just be out of the car.  She looked over the roof of her car at Jim as he climbed out. "Why mini-golf of all things?"

"Who know what goes through his mind. Maybe corporate finally got wind of how many parties he likes to throw and took away all his allowance," he replied as he tossed her the keys.

Pam giggled and adopted a mock-stern tone of voice. "No more parties, young manager, unless you finish your vegetables."

"Now you're getting it," Jim beamed at her as he met her at the front of the car and they started walking to join their co-workers.

It had only been three months since he joined the Dunder-Mifflin team. In that time, he'd started to get to know some of the eccentricities of his boss and co-workers. The job was so unlike anything he'd ever thought it would be like. He was finding he took a certain amount of pride when he explained to friends and family that his office job was hardly boring. While the actual selling of paper was fairly easy, and at times exceedingly tedious for him, it was all the other interactions that kept him coming back every day. Especially once Pam had bought a small jelly bean dispenser and put it out on her desk. At first no one had seemed to notice. After a few days however, he'd heard more of their co-workers greeting her as they walked in for the day while helping themselves to a few jelly beans. He couldn't help feeling warm inside knowing it was his suggested candy that was causing Pam to smile more often.

The chance to visit her desk more often is also a plus, he mused.

Jim and Pam were approaching the small booth that held putters and golf balls and caught the end of Michael's instructions. "Guys versus girls, people. Pick a partner of the opposite gender persuasion. Keep a tight score because whichever side has the highest score wins the prize!"

"Isn't the point of golf to have the lowest score?" Jim asked from the back of the group.

Michael looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Yes," he squeaked at first before regaining his usual bluster. "Yes, it is! Strike what I just said. Lowest score wins."

"But I thought strikes were in bowling where you want the high score," Pam called out.

Jim brought his hand up to his mouth to cover his laugh and looked down at her. "Oh my god, Beesly. You're going to fry his brain," he said so that no one else could hear. She only responded by grasping her hands in front of her, rocking her shoulders back and forth, and flashing him a big toothy smile.

For his part Michael looked even more confused. That is until Dwight spoke up in his boss' defense. He got up on the table with Michael and bellowed over the small knot of people around them. "It will be the lowest score to win!"

Michael stuck a finger in his ear looking like he was digging some ear wax out after Dwight's outburst. "Thank you, Dwight. Get down. Okay! So, pick your partners! Choose your weapons! Let the First Annual Dunder-Mifflin Mini-Golf Battle of the Sexes Ice Cream Extravaganza begin!"

Despite themselves Jim and Pam couldn't help but grin. "What do you say, Beesly? Feel like you can take me?" He spread his arms out to the sides slightly.

"If ice cream is the reward you're so going down, Halpert." Challenge was in her eyes as she answered back. "You're keeping score by the way."

They joined the end of the line moving to collect mini-golf equipment as he replied. "Why me?"

"Easy," she poked him in the chest. "You've got pockets with which to hold onto the scorecard."

"Hey, not my fault women's clothing designers haven't realized the joy that are pockets."

Pam shrugged a little. "Some have actually. I guarantee that if a woman is wearing a dress that has pockets and someone compliments her on it, the first thing she'll say is, 'thanks, it has pockets.'"

By this time, they were at the window. Jim picked up two adult size putters while Pam picked out the colors for their golf balls. She grinned playfully at him as she handed him one.

"Hot pink? Really? First, I've got to keep score and now you give me the hot pink golf ball?"

"Suck it, Halpert," was her only reply as she bounced her own neon green golf ball in her hand and made her way towards the first mini-golf hole.

Chuckling to himself, Jim grabbed a score card and a golf pencil and followed her. There were two separate courses to use. A glance at the score card showed every hole was Par 3 and a quick scan showed both courses appeared to have an equal amount of the typical mini-golf hazards. Since they were in the back of the line anyway Jim took the time to write out their names on the top of the score card as he followed Pam. The early afternoon sun of late summer was beating down on them and by the time Jim had re-joined Pam she had taken off her cardigan and tied its sleeves around her waist. He could feel himself starting to get warm too since, like the rest of his co-workers, he was still in his office apparel. He was just glad he'd the presence of mind to leave his coat in the car.

Pam glanced up at him as he tugged at his collar. "Getting warm?"

He grinned sheepishly. "A little."

Shaking her head she reached out to him. "Here, let me help you." She unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and slid the knot of his tie out a hair. Next, she unbuttoned his cuffs and proceeded to roll his sleeves halfway up his forearms. "Feel better?"

It took everything Jim had to force himself to come back to reality to answer her. As soon as she'd reached for his clothing visions of her unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, among other things, had flooded his brain. Taking a second to adjust to the new state of his shirt he finally replied to her. "Yeah, much."

"Don't say I never did anything for you," she told him with a smirk.

"Never crossed my mind." He noticed the first hole was now free for them to start their game. He gestured across the small fairway to her. "Ladies first."

"So chivalrous," she teased as she bent down to rest her ball on the small tee.

 It appeared that she was glancing up and down the fairway to line up her shot, but Jim caught her gaze drifting back to him. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she said a little too quickly.

Jim crossed his arms and adopted a mock-glare are her. "Try again, Beesly."

It looked like she was torn between two choices of what to say back to him. It was only when he added a cocked eyebrow to his glare that she relented. "Fine," she said in exasperation. "I think you look good with your tie loose and your shirt sleeves rolled up like that, okay?"

His glare quickly morphed from flash of shock to soft smile. "Thank you. That was very nice of you to say."

Her own smile was just as warm. "You're welcome."

She turned her attention back to her golf ball and took her time to line up her shot. A quick tap of the putter sent her ball sailing down the green. It bounced off a fake rock and the back wall to come to rest inches away from the cup. She looked back up at him to see an impressed expression on his face. She couldn't help but grin.

"Nice shot, Beesly."

"Thanks. Your turn."

He set his own ball down on the tee and also took his time to line up his shot. He struck his own ball with a touch more force than she had. The hot pink golf ball travelled an almost identical path to the one a neon green one had. It bounced off the same fake rock, the ricocheted off nearly the same spot on the wooden backstop. However, the added force Jim had added gave it the momentum to roll directly to the cup and over the edge for a hole-in-one.

Jim couldn't keep the smirk off his face as he looked back down at Pam. "But not quite good enough."

"You are so going down, Halpert," Pam told him with a thin-lipped smile as she walked up the green to tap her own ball into the hole.

"Them there's fightin' words, little missy! Draw!" Jim used finger guns to mime drawing a six-shooter from his hip at her as they walked to the next hole.

Not to be outdone, Pam responded by bringing her golf club up to her shoulder like a rifle and aiming it right at his heart. She also effected a Western drawl and mimed the cocking action of a lever action rifle. "Sixteen shot Henry Repeater beats a Colt Peacemaker any day of the week and twice on Sunday, ya varmit."

Jim held up his hands in surrender and "re-holstered," his finger gun Peacemaker. "Gotta say I'm impressed, Beesly. How do you know so much about cowboy guns?

Pam lowered her golf club rifle to hold it in a more normal way for a piece of sporting equipment. "My dad is a huge fan of Western movies. He's got every John Wayne Western ever made. It became a bit of tradition around the house for him to quiz us on facts about the movies. I guess you just never forget some things."

By this time, they had made their way to the second hole. Kevin and Phyllis were playing ahead of them and were just finishing up their shots. Jim had pulled the score card out of his pocket to write down their score from the first hole. "I do believe I have the honor since I won the last hole."

He finished writing down the scores and stuck the pencil behind his ear before leaning over to set his ball down on the tee. The second hole featured a large lighthouse sitting above a small drop off. In the base of the lighthouse facing the tee were three small PVC tunnels that obviously led under the structure to the green situated below and to the left of the tee. Clearly one of the tunnels had a straighter shot at getting the mini-golfer a hole-in-one while the other two simply let the ball out onto the lower green. The trick was to choose the right tunnel. Jim lined up his shot for the tunnel on the right side and quickly walked along the path to see where his ball would show up. He was pleasantly surprised to see that Pam had also joined him and was standing on her tip-toes with a hand on his shoulder to peek around him to watch. Jim's ball came out of the tunnel which sadly did not aim for the cup. Also sadly, to Jim's mind, was that Pam had turned around and left to place her own ball on the tee. Before he had a chance to do anything she'd lined up her shot and sent her ball rolling down the left-hand tunnel. She quickly scooted around him to watch her ball emerge from the under the lighthouse. This time is was Pam's turn to smirk as her ball rolled out of the tunnel and directly into the cup.

"Whoo hooo!" Pam's smirk didn't last very long as she did a quick hop in celebration.

Jim's felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards at the sight of her delighted squeal. He walked onto the green and tapped his own ball in the hole before bending over to retrieve both of them. “Nice shot, Pam.”

“Thank you, sir!”

There was a line at the next hole. Toby and Merideth were still tapping their balls around the green which was keeping Kevin and Phyllis waiting for them. Jim and Pam held back a few steps once they heard Kevin giving an in-depth lecture on the differences between regular and peanut M&M’s.

“So, your dad is a fan of Western movies?”

Pam was adjusting the cardigan wrapped around her waist as she answered. “Yeah. He’s got this whole big set up at their house. He’s got a few props and other memorabilia he’s collected over the years.”

“Like what?” Jim was definitely interesting in keeping the conversation going.

“Umm...I think he’s got a couple sheriff's badges that were worn in a few of the movies, a framed and signed picture of John Wayne that my mom got him for their 20th anniversary, and some spurs that were also used. He might have some more stuff but it’s been a while since I’ve been over to my parents' house.”

“How come?”

She shrugged and walked a few steps forward since Kevin and Phyllis were now teeing up their shots. “I think I’ve told you they’re about two hours away so there’s that, but I don’t know. Other things come up. I talk to my mom just about every week though. What about you? Still get back to your parents’ place?”

“Yeah, ‘cause they still live in town and all. Maybe once or twice a month my family will all get together to grill out, watch a ball game, or, you know, just be there.”

“That sounds really nice.”

“Thanks, it is. Okay, your dad likes Westerns. What kind of movie does your mom go for?”

Pam thought for a moment. “I’d have to say rom-coms if anything. She’s not really a big movie person.”

“What kind of person is she?”

“More the wine and cheese with a good book person. Dad might have the movie library but Mom has the book library. It was a deal they had growing up. Every time Dad would get a movie, Mom would get a book.” She held up a hand as Jim was about to ask a question. “And before you ask what kind of book she likes, it’s a bit of everything. Non-fiction, biography, romance, mystery, fantasy, classic literature, you name it she’s probably got something in the genre and a wine pairing to go along with it.”

The third hole was now free so Jim nodded at the open tee. “You’re up, Beesly.”

Pam set her ball on the tee and, after lining up the shot, tapped it down the course. It bounced off some walls but wasn’t near the cup like on her last two holes. Jim walked up and mirrored her movements. Like Pam, his ball wasn’t near the cup. They walked up the green to keep playing.

“Do you mind that I call you Beesly?”

She had finished her second shot and turned back to him. “Not really, why?”

He shrugged as he tapped his ball closer to the hole. “Most women I’ve met don’t really go by their last name like guys sometimes do. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“That’s sweet. I mean, you’re the only person who calls me that. It’s a lot better than Pam-a-lama-ding-dong or any other variations Michael has thought up.”

Jim chuckled. “Yeah, I know the feeling. Slim Jim, Big Jim, Jimbo, Jim-boree, the Jimster.”

Pam looked back at him with an incredulous expression on his face. “Oh, come on! You mean to tell me that no one in your life has ever called you ‘Slim Jim’ before?”

“Well, there were a couple guys in college who may have called me that,” he replied as his next shot sent his ball into the cup. “The other ones though, maybe but not nearly as often as in the last few months. How about you? Any nicknames from college or high school?”

“Not really a nickname,” Pam told him as she tapped her ball into the hole. “But back in high school I went by Mo-”

Her sentence was cut short by a loud shout. “FORE!!”

A blue streak came flying in from seemingly out of nowhere and struck Pam squarely on her forehead. She dropped her putter and clapped her hands to her head. The shock of the event caused her to collapse to her knees as a few tears seeped from her eyes. The blue golf ball that had struck her bounced off into some bushes nearby.

“Pam!” Jim was instantly kneeling at her side. “Are you okay?”

She was rubbing her head and still hadn’t opened her eyes. “Yeah I think so. Oww! Who did that?”

Jim put a comforting hand on her shoulder and look around. He had a suspicion that was quickly confirmed as he saw who was walking towards them. “I’ll give you two guesses but you’ll probably only need one.”

Her eyes fluttered open to look at him. “Dwight?”

The man in question was now clearly within earshot so Jim just tapped a finger to his nose. Dwight was looking around for his errant golf ball. “Did you see what happened to my blue ball?”

Oh, that’s just too perfect. Jim stayed where he was kneeling next to Pam and kept his hand on her shoulder as he answered Dwight. “Can’t say that I have. You’re sure it was only one, not two blue balls?”

Dwight didn’t get the joke and only glared at Jim.“I have exceptional power of observation newbie. I am very certain I only had one blue ball and I whacked it over here.”

Both Jim and Pam had fists over their mouths to keep from laughing. Jim had to clear his throat before he was able to speak again. “Ahem! You know now that you mention it, I may have seen your blue ball. I’d check behind that shed over there. A good place for whacking blue balls if you know what I mean.”

Dwight turned and stalked in the direction of the tool shed Jim had indicated. When he turned back to Pam, she was doubled over again, but this time from laughing.

______________________________________________________________________________

Pam got herself under control to look back up at him. “Oh my god, Jim!”

“What? How could I not pass that up?”

She was still smiling while she looked at him. “No! I was just thinking that may have been the funniest thing I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.”

He grinned back at her. “Well, I wish it hadn’t been because you got hit in the head with a golf ball, but thanks. Here, let me help you up.”

He stood up and reached out his hands to her. Pam took them and let him help her to her feet. As she was getting her feet under her, the heel of her shoe caught on loose piece of the astro-turf surface. She stumbled forward only to be caught by Jim was still standing directly in front of her. Immediately she felt her cheeks flush at the sensation of her chest pressed against his.

“Whoa! Careful there, Beesly. Sure you’re okay? We can sit down for a minute.”

From joking and laughing one second to so concerned for me the next. Where have you been all my life, Jim Halpert?

She pulled back and nervously tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I’m alright. Just tripped is all.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. Come on,” he nodded his head to the next hole that was free of other players.

“Whose turn is it to go first? I kinda lost track.”

“Go ahead. I think you’ve earned it.”

Pam could feel a headache starting to set in at the spot the ball had struck her, but despite that, she still kept smiling. “Thanks. You do realize that I’m injured now. You've got to go easy on me.”

Jim eyebrows raised at her comment. “Really? One golf ball to the head and you go from ‘suck it, Halpert,’ to ‘you’ve got to go easy on me?’ For shame, Beesly. I expected more from you.”

“Ha ha. Fine, you don’t have to go easy on me, but maybe a little less teasing?” She tapped her ball down the next hole and turned back to him with a slightly pleading look on her face.

“As you wish,” he told her as he hit his own ball down the fairway.

“Really Jim, The Princess Bride? Please tell me you’re not a fan of sappy rom-coms.” Now it was Pam’s turn to raise her eyebrows.

Jim didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed as they walked down to where their balls were resting near the next cup. “One, if I don’t get to tease you, then you don’t get to tease me. Two, The Princess Bride is not a sappy rom-com. It’s a fantastic fantasy story and happens to have one of the best sword fights on film.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Don't worry, I’m not mad or anything. Your turn.” He pointed his putter at Pam’s golf ball that was a shade further away from the cup than his was.

She quickly made her shot and waited for him to do the same. Another line had formed before the next hole. This time is was caused by Dwight who was still searching for his golf ball and was attempting to scale the walls of the small castle set in the middle of the course. Fortunately, there was a bench with a high back and an open space to sit. Pam made a beeline for it and sat down resting her head against the wooden slats of the back rest.

“Doing alright there, Pam?”

She opened her eyes to see Jim standing in front of her. “Yeah, it’s that headache I was telling you about. I just want to close my eyes for a sec.”

“I can see why you’d have a headache. That’s a nice goose egg you’ve got on your forehead there.” He pointed to a spot above her left eye.

Gingerly she brought her hand up to find the small bump. It hurt as soon as her fingers brushed it and she couldn’t help wincing at the contact sucking in air between her teeth. “That stings.”

Jim handed her his putter. “Here, keep an eye on this. I’ll go see if they have an ice pack or anything.”

Before she could protest he was heading back in the direction of the entrance. Deciding it wasn’t worth the effort to try and call him back, Pam just closed her eyes again and kept her head resting against the bench as thoughts raced through her mind.

It felt really nice to have his hand on my shoulder like that. I don’t know if any other guy has ever cared for me like that. Well, maybe once before, but that was a long time ago. I’m glad he caught me. He’s such a good friend. My head still kind of hurts. If Dwight gave me a concussion I’ll kill him. No, better yet Jim and I will prank him. Let’s see, what can we do? The calculator and pen cup switch was kind of fun. Maybe something like that. What’s that on the ground? Oh! That’ll be perfect! There’s a store on the way back to the office that sells crayons too. We can get them on the way back to get Jim’s car and sneak upstairs to replace Dwight’s pens and pencils with crayons. I’m sure Jim will love it.

Soon Jim was back carrying an ice pack and a fountain drink cup with a straw sticking out of the lid. “I got you some ice water as well as an ice pack.”

“Thanks,” she told him as she gratefully accepted both. She lightly put the ice pack on her forehead and sipped at the cold water. “That feels a lot better.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he told her as he sat down next to her. It looked like it was going to be a while as the mini-golf staff had finally shown up to try and convince Dwight to get off the castle. Jim glanced over at the scene. “They’re not really having much luck over there, are they?”

Pam slowly turned her head. Despite her headache she giggled at the sight. “Doesn’t look like it. Oh, I thought of something to get back at Dwight while you were away.” She quickly outlined the prank she’d thought up.

Jim loved the idea immediately. “That’s great, Beesly! And since he insisted on driving here by himself I doubt he’ll be heading back to the office. If he ever gets off the castle, that is.”

“If only this place had a catapult or something. We could lob golf balls at him till he came down,” she suggested with a grin.

“Perhaps if we build a large wooden badger,” Jim told her seriously.

Pam got the movie reference right away and started playing along. “We could send him out to get a shrubbery.”

“Or have him cut down the largest tree in the forest with a herring!”

They both started snickering at the thought of Dwight trying to chop down a tree with a fish. Finally, they got themselves under control just as the management of the mini-golf course succeeded in getting Dwight to climb down. The golfers ahead of them started lining up shots as Michael came over in an attempt to save face. There were still a few parties ahead of them so Jim and Pam stayed where they were on the bench.

“You said your parents were still lived in town. What kind of hobbies do they have?” Pam asked him to fill the time.

“My dad is big into whiskey. Out basement was always full of bottles from all over the place. After my oldest brother moved out, dad transformed his old room to his whiskey den, as he calls it. It’s all sorted by country, region, style, you name it.”

“I didn’t know there was more than one kind of whiskey,” Pam told him.

“There’s a bunch of different kinds. Scotch, Irish, bourbon, rye, wheat, and a bunch more. I don’t know nearly as much as he does, but I guess like with your dad and Westerns, some of his whiskey knowledge rubbed off on me.”

“But you’re not a whiskey guy then?”

Jim rocked his head back and forth a few times before he answered. “He’s always let me try whatever it is he thinks is good so there’s a few I like more than others, but no, I never really got into it like he did. I’m more of a craft beer kind of guy to be honest.”

Pam adjusted the ice pack on her forehead before her next question. “So that’s your dad, what about your mom?”

“She crochets stuff. Pot holders, blankets, purse-type bags, sweaters, little plush toys for the kids at her church, all sorts of things. She crocheted our Christmas stockings.”

“Oh look!” Pam pointed to the course. “Kevin and Phyllis joined up with Toby and Merideth and they’re done. Come on Halpert, we’re up.” Slowly she got up from the bench and made her way to the tee. “Injured lady gets to go first.”

“I wouldn’t dare think otherwise,” Jim told her.

Pam handed him her ice pack while she bent down to place her ball on the tee. She glanced back to him and saw he was standing close. He had a warm smile on his face as he watched her. She returned it before looking down at her ball for her next shot.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“It was totally unfair and you know it!”

“Now Jim, I would have thought all those years of basketball would have taught you how to lose graciously.” Pam was teasing him as she pulled her car into the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot.

“Losing fair and square is one thing,” Jim retorted. “Losing because Dwight got us all kicked out and Michael got caught in his own trap of saying all the scores were final is something else completely.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re just mad that us ladies got ice cream and you guys didn’t. Now come on and help me with these crayons.”

After the debacle that had been the office mini-golf game, they’d stopped off at a local store to pick up the supplies they’d need for their prank. Pam insisted on driving as she loudly complained that Jim had almost destroyed her car earlier and she still needed to drive home afterwards. With Jim shaking his head they made their way upstairs to the empty office. Pam let them in and turned on a few lights.

Pam went to the kitchen to grab an empty coffee mug to store the pens and pencils they’d be hiding while Jim walked over to Dwight’s desk and opened the 64-count box of crayons they’d purchased. Pam quickly joined him and as she grabbed all the pens and pencils she could find, Jim filled in the vacant spaces with various crayons. They checked the desk drawers and replaced the pens and pencils they found there too. The crayon box was nearly empty by the time they were done. Grinning at each other on a job well done they locked up the office and headed back down to the parking lot to their cars.

Evening was starting to set in as Jim walked Pam back to her car. “This was fun,” he told her.

“It was,” she agreed with a smile.

Jim had his own smile on his face as he opened her passenger side door to grab his coat. “Since it was your idea to use crayons, and since Dwight will probably just throw all those out, I got you something while you were in the bathroom when we were at the store.” Pam’s expression went from quizzical to delighted as Jim walked around the car and pulled another 64-count box of crayons from under his coat and handed it to her. “Maybe you can use them to color in some of your drawings.”

“Oh, Jim! Thank you.” Pam looked down at the box and back up to him. She stepped forward and reaching up with the arm that wasn’t holding her new box of crayons, she pulled him forward to hug him. His arms came up to return the friendly gesture.

“That’s so very sweet of you,” she said as she let go after a few seconds while still grinning at him.

“You’re welcome,” with his own grin still evident. After a few seconds he took a few steps backwards in the direction of his car a few spaces over. “Hope you have a good night and I’ll see you on Monday.”

“You too,” Pam told him. She turned back to her car and saw the score card and mini pencil still on the center console where he’d left it. Leaning in she picked it up and turned to where Jim was almost to his car by this point. “Jim!” she called out. “You forgot something! I’ll want a rematch sometime and it’s still your job to hold the card and this!”

Jim took a deep breath and held it as he guided his car through a steady rain, and into the parking lot to start his morning. As usual his eyes glanced across the lot looking for Pam’s car. He exhaled in relief when he saw it parked near the far end of the lot. Maybe I can convince her to give me another lesson. Lying to her about his inability to drive a stick shift had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now after almost a year of lessons, he was starting to feel a little guilty. It was getting harder and harder to pretend to be a slow learner considering the first car he’d driven when he turned sixteen had been a stick shift.

Maybe I can just convince her it was all an elaborate prank? The thought turned over in his mind as he headed upstairs to the office. Pushing through the door he saw her sitting by herself behind her desk. She turned his direction when she heard the door open and that soft smile he’d come to love bloomed on her face as she greeted him.

“Morning Jim.”

It might just be me, but I don’t think she smiles like that to anyone else. Even What’s-His-Face. “Good morning Pam. Have a good night last night?” He hung up his coat on the rack and leaned over to grab a few jelly beans as she answered.

“It was alright I guess. Did a little sketching. Want to see?”

“Absolutely!”

Jim swiped a few more jelly beans as Pam bent over to dig in the bag she’d stashed under her desk. When she straightened up, her expression had morphed into the one he had come to realize was his favorite Pam face. Her eyes were glowing with excitement and the tip of her tongue was just barely peeking out of the wide toothy grin on her face.

Pam pulled out her sketch book and flipped it open to the pages that held her new drawings. When she got to the right pages she set in on the counter and turned the book around so Jim could see the images. “I was sitting in the spare room and looked outside, and there’s this tree right there and all of a sudden these two little chipmunks scampered onto the branches and just stood there for a bit. They started kind of climbing all over the branches but I could always see at least one of them. They were just so cute that I had to draw them! What do you think?”

During her description of the events Jim hadn’t looked at the drawings, preferring instead to keep his gaze on her. He loved the way her face was lit up with happiness while describing the scene. Seeing she was done he looked at the pages in front of him. There were two double sided pages full of small drawings of the chipmunks in question. Some featured both of the animals, while others were of just one of them. She had captured them in several poses. In a few the animals were on all fours along a branch while in other drawings one or both were on their hind legs looking around. It was clear the drawings were done with slight haste as they were still a little rough.

“Well? Do you like them?” Jim clearly heard the note of nervousness in her question. When he looked up she was now standing up and her gaze kept dancing from him back to her drawings. Her excitement was still evident, but it was tempered with a touch of anxiety, and she was wringing her hands while she waited for his response.

“These are great Pam,” he said with a smile forming on his own face. “They do look like they were drawn kinda quickly, but I really like them. I’m sure you can go back and clean them up later. Your hand must have been flying trying to get all these down. I like that you didn’t just draw them identically either. The stripes on this guy are clearly wider than his friend and you kept that with all the drawings. I’m not an art critic or anything, but that bit of detail makes it a lot easier to see these as two separate animals. If you were sitting inside and through a window that takes a really keen eye to see a small difference like that.”

The anxiety left her face and she started beaming at Jim. “You really think they’re good?”

The corner one side of Jim’s mouth came up in a half grin. “Beesly, come on, anyone who saw these would tell you instantly that they’re great. I hope you still have those crayons I gave you, ‘cause I’d love to see what a few of these would look like with clearer lines and a bit of color.”

“Thanks,” Pam told him as she took her book back and her expression fell a little. “Roy didn’t say much of anything when I showed them to him this morning. Just took one quick look and turned away saying something about how he had an early truck coming in and he didn’t have time for my little hobby but that he might see me at lunch today.”

Jim heard the slight sound of dejection in her voice as she started to put the book back in her bag. No, she doesn’t get to feel bad about her drawings. “I’m sorry to hear that. Hold on a sec, I want to see them again.”

Pam pulled the book back out and opened it again to the drawings. Jim started stroking his chin as if he was a serious art critic. A quick glance up showed that Pam’s grin was back on her face due to his slight teasing. He couldn't help it and his serious face broke as the corners of his mouth turned upwards. Quickly looking back down, it appeared he had come to a conclusion.

“Yes, that confirms it. Without a doubt.”

“What?” Pam’s grin had slipped away and she now had a confused look to her face.

Jim looked back up at her and pointed to one chipmunk and the other in turn with what Pam had once called his shit-eating grin. “This one’s Chip, and that one’s Dale.”

Pam erupted into a giggle fit before quickly closing the book and whacked him on the arm with it. “Get out of here and go sell some paper!”

He flashed her his own smile before walking over to his desk and dropped his bag across the back of his chair. Sitting down he started up his computer and glanced back at Pam. She shook her head at him, but her wide smile was still in place as she answered a phone call. Good start to the day, he mused as he pulled up his day’s cold call sheet.

The day progressed normally. Jim made a few sales and the ensuing paperwork kept him busy as the lunch hour approached. He got up and walked the few steps over to Pam’s desk and leaned causally over the counter at her.

“Hey, I’m about to head over to the break room for lunch. Care to join me?”

“Maybe in a bit,” she said apologetically. “Roy said he’d try to make it up here today for lunch and I want to wait for him. If he’s not here in ten minutes or so could you save me a seat?”

He kept his disappointment to himself and instead flashed her a quick smile and good-naturedly thumped the top of her desk before standing straight up. “No problem.”

Stopping in the kitchen to grab the lunch he’d packed, Jim made his way to the break room and bought a can of soda before sitting down at a table. As he started pulling out his lunch Stanley ambled in, but sat facing away from Jim at another table with a cup of coffee. Deciding to save his sandwich for when Pam showed up, he opened the bag of chips he’d brought and started munching on them. She wasn’t long in coming. As soon as he heard her enter the room Jim looked up in her direction, but the look on her face immediately caused his smile to falter.

It was a look he’d seen before. Her eyes had lost the sparkle he’d seen in them this morning when she’d showed him her new sketches. She kept her gaze turned down and the slight hunch in her shoulders made it appear as if she’d shrank a few sizes. Rather than the radiant smile he loved, her mouth was hanging slightly agape. Most of the time the only reason for her to look so downtrodden was due to some inane comment Michael made during a meeting. However, he reflected he’d been seeing her look this way more frequently because of Roy’s comments. His guard was up at once and he was about to stand up to meet her when his two least favorite co-workers followed Pam talking and laughing loudly.

Todd Packer had his arm around Roy’s shoulder as he talked. “So here I am back at the hotel, just going to town on this chick from behind, when all of a sudden she slips and her dumb wedding ring comes flying off. Oh man, you should have seen the look on her face! Classic!”

Jim looked up and saw Pam had quietly taken a seat at the table in the corner. For all intents and purposes, she appeared to be doing her best to be quiet and be invisible. Sadly, it didn’t work as Roy and Todd took seats on either side of her.

“Was she at least hot?” Roy asked as he pulled a sandwich out of his bag.

“Ehh kind of, nice tits but not quite as big as Pammy’s here. Kind of a butter-face if you know what I mean.” Todd waved his hand up a bit

Roy was just nodding along with Todd’s description. “Yeah, I totally get you,” he said grinning while biting into his sandwich.

“Butter-face? I’m unfamiliar with that term. Explain.” Dwight had just appeared in the doorway.

“It’s a chick who’s hot, but her face, which could be nice but not hot, or it could be hideous. But since the rest of her is hot she’s still bangable.” Roy told him.

 Jim had kept his eyes firmly schooled on his lunch, but on hearing Roy’s answer stole a glance over his shoulder to Pam. To his eyes it looked as if she had shrunk another size while picking at her salad. Her eyes flicked up to meet his and it was as if he could hear her silent cry for help. Unsurprisingly his appetite had vanished. He put his food back into his lunch bag and turned to face the other table.

“Hey Pam, that copier is still giving me fits. Could you come help me copy my expense reports?”

Before she could answer Dwight answered him. “Expense reports aren’t due for a week and this is Pam’s scheduled lunch time. Unless there’s an emergency you have no cause to pull her from her break.”

“Yeah, besides we’re having run here. Right Pam?” Roy threw an arm around Pam’s shoulder and pulled her close to his side. Pam didn’t say anything, instead just gave the barest of nods.

With a grimace Jim finished packing his lunch away. Before he turned to leave the break room he caught Pam’s eye one more time and saw a hint of thanks that he had at least tried. With no other ideas springing to mind he left the break room and returned to his desk. He sat down heavily as thoughts raced through his head. He talks like that that about her while she’s sitting right next to him. It’s not the first time either. What does she see in him? How could he not see she didn’t want to be there? At this point it’s going to take a flood or a fire or a family member getting sick to get her out of there. Wait a minute, that might work.

He opened one of his desk drawers and after shuffling through some papers came up with his company directory. Despite what he’d just seen in the break room a smile formed on his face as the memory of his first day in the office came to his mind. One of the forms he’d filled out that day was an emergency contact sheet. He swiftly turned to the page that held Pam’s information. He’d never had cause to look at it before and as his eyes scanned the sheet he read some information he wasn’t expecting. Corporate policy was to have a minimum of one emergency contact person but there was the option for two more. As he had expected Roy was at the top of Pam’s list. The second was followed by a Penny Beesly, listed as her sister with her home, cell, and work numbers under her name. It was seeing his own name and information listed as the third contact that had surprised him. He found his fingers running over his information for a brief second before he shook his head to return to his task. Jim picked up his desk phone and glanced at the clock. It still wasn’t yet noon so he figured he’d have a good shot to get through on his first call.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Please let this lunch hour get done! Damnit Dwight! Why did you have to say something? I know Jim knows how to use that copier, I don’t care how many times he’s asked me for help. I just want to get out of here!

Pam was still trapped between Todd and Roy in the break room. When she’d seen her fiancé come through the doors just before the lunch break she’s started smiling. Her smile had left as soon as she’d seen who he’d walked in with. Years ago, her mother had told her the best way to deal with a bully was to ignore them. Her mother hadn’t met Todd Packer who seemed immune to the tactic as her silence seemed to give him leave to voice more sexist comments. And unlike Michael, who by this time she was sure said such things mostly out of ignorance, Todd seemed know exactly what he was saying. She was doing her best to try and tune out the conversation going on around her, but the voices were too loud and bawdy for her to fully ignore.

“That’s why it’s always best to do a chick like that from behind,” Todd was explaining. “Plenty to grab and you don’t have to look at them. Just make sure the lights are off and they’re facing the head of the bed so you don’t catch a glimpse in the mirror.”

Sensing movement she stole a glance at Roy who she was horrified to see was not only chewing with his mouth open, a habit she detested, but he was also nodding his head to what Todd was saying, soaking in every word. That’s what he thinks of me? Everything’s great but my face? Is that all I am to him? A pair of boobs and a vagina? Is that why he always wants the lights off? Why can’t I ever be good enough for him? Jim! Please come back and get me out of here!

She kept her eyes focused on her salad until she heard the one voice she’d been hoping for speaking from the doorway.

“Pam!” Jim was back in the doorway, looking flushed. “You need to get back to your desk. I was at the copier and saw that your sister has tried to call your cell like three times in the last few minutes. Aren’t you her primary emergency contact?”

Penny?! This day just went from bad to worse! Quickly packing the remains of her lunch, she tried standing up but Roy tugged back at her arm.

“Aw, don’t go babe! I’m sure she’s fine. Sit down, we’re still having a good time, right?”

She looked from Roy’s face to Jim’s and back again trying to make a decision. “Ummm...”

“Pam.”

Jim’s soft voice had her looking back at his tall frame in the doorway. When she had first looked at him when he’d returned to the break room his face showed nothing but worried concern. On the second look she though she saw the ghost of a wink in his eye, but then again it could have just been a facial twitch. The dread that was lodged in her stomach shifted to fear for what could have caused her sister to call three times in the middle of a work day.

“I..umm...I have to go.” She shrugged her arm out of Roy’s grasp and started making her way out from the corner she’d been trapped in. Roy didn’t get up or move his chair to let her pass, instead he finished his sandwich and cracked open his can of ginger ale.

A sudden stomach cramp hit her as she made her way around the table. It was strong enough to make her stop in her tracks and put hand over her abdomen. “Oww.”

“Pam! Are you okay?” Jim was instantly at her side.

“Oh, don’t worry about her,” Roy’s voice was muffled through a mouth full of potato salad. “It’s probably just that time of the month.”

“Yeah, I mean how can you trust anything that bleeds for seven days but doesn’t die?” Todd chimed in. “Am I right?” he elbowed a still grinning Roy.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Pam’s mouth was a thin line and she left the remains of her lunch on a table before quickly crossing the room still with a hand over her stomach.

As she walked in front of Jim while leaving the break room she heard him speak up again. “Hey, not cool man.”

Pam made it to one of the stalls without further hardship and sat down with her head in her hands as she attended to the call of nature. When she was finished she made her way to the sink to wash her hands. Her reflection in the mirror caused her to pause.

Be careful what you wish for Beesly. What’s wrong with Penny? She’s never called me like that before. How did Jim know it was Penny’s cell number? When did I ever tell him I’m her emergency contact? Damnit Roy!! What the hell is the matter with you? Getting all buddy-buddy with that creep!

She splashed some water on her face to cool the heat that had formed in her cheeks. After drying her hands and face she left the restroom to find Jim waiting for her. Any other time she would have found the fact he’d waited for her endearing, but she was to worried about her sister. She nodded to Jim who walked the few steps ahead of her to hold open the other door to the break room. Reaching her desk, she saw she now had four missed calls from her sister. She punched in the number to speed dial Penny without taking the time to clear out the missed calls.

Penny answered on the first ring. “Pam? Oh, thank goodness you called back. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for the last ten minutes or so.”

“Yeah, I saw that.” Pam answered her. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay, but I’ve got this crazy situation here at work, but there’s to many people around to tell you over the phone. I know it’ll make you crazy with worry that I can’t tell you, I’m sorry. Is there any way you could drive over here and I’ll explain it all when I see you?”

“I think so. Let me check.” She looked up at Jim who was standing next to her. “Penny’s fine, but she needs help at the mall. She won’t tell me what it is. Could you do me a huge favor and tell Michael I need to leave for the rest of the afternoon for a family emergency?”

“Yeah, no problem. Hold on a sec.” He disappeared into Michael’s office.

“Penny, seriously, what’s wrong?”

A cacophony of background noise on Penny’s end made it hard to hear. “Not over the phone, I’m really sorry. Just come as quick as you can. Please?”

Pam looked up and Jim was leaving Michael’s office. He nodded and gave her a thumb’s up as he started to walk over. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thanks, so much. Sorry but I gotta go. See you soon?”

“Yeah, see you soon.” Pam ended the call and looked up at Jim.

“Was that your sister? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah it was. I don’t know what’s going on. She just said to get over to the mall as quick as I could.” Pam started around her desk for the coat rack, but another stomach cramp hit her and she staggered a touch. As suddenly as the pain was there, it was lessened by the feel of one of Jim’s hands catching her hand while his other hand gently held her arm under her elbow.

“Hey, you sure you’re alright to drive? I can take you over there if you want.”

She looked up and saw the look of concern was back in his eyes. “You don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” He reached for her coat. “Here put this on and sit on the couch for a sec.”

She did as she was bid and watched as he made his way around the reception desk to grab her purse and hand it to her before walking back over to Michael’s office and popped his head in. “Michael? I’m probably going to be gone the rest of the afternoon on sales calls. I got a hot lead, but I might not be back for the rest of the day.”

Michael’s voice was still clear through the open door of his office. “Go get ‘em tiger!”

Jim quickly returned and grabbed his coat while Pam stood up with him. “Your car or mine?”

Pam’s eyes were downturned with worry but she still dug in her purse and handed him her keys as they walked to the elevator. “Mine, try not to fry the clutch.”

The ride to the first floor was silent. “Wait here,” Jim told her as they approached the door. “I’ll bring the car around.”

She silently nodded. Jim pulled the collar of his raincoat up and vanished into the rain-soaked parking lot. She didn’t have to wait long for him to pull up in her old car. He got out of the driver’s seat to return to the front door of the office to hold it open for her. He repeated the gesture with the passenger side door before he returned to the driver’s seat and pulled out of the parking lot. Glad she didn’t have to drive, Pam leaned her head against the cool glass of the window.

Why wouldn’t Penny tell me what’s going on? Why did Roy have to say all that? It’s like he doesn’t even know what he’s saying is hurtful. Like last week when I said we should go visit my folks and he didn’t want to and was all shocked when it ended up being a huge fight. I really don’t want this to be another fight. How could it not be though? How many times have I told him what bugs me and how many times has he forgotten? Why is it always Jim who’s there and Roy? But still, it’s so great that Jim is around so much to help. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a good friend.

“Earth to Pam, are you there?”

Jim’s question made her pick her head back up. “Sorry Jim. I didn’t hear you. What was that?”

He chuckled a bit at her. “It’s okay. I asked what your sister does at the mall. Is there a particular store I should be heading for?”

She leaned her head back against the window before answering. “She doesn’t work in any of the stores actually. She works in the mall management office so head to the entrance over by the Bon-Ton.

“No problem,” he replied while smoothly changing gears.

With a sigh she lifted her head up again and looked at Jim. “Why are all guys suck jerks?”

Jim was silent while he downshifted as they came up to a red light and looked back at her. “We’re not all like that you know.”

Pam looked down into her lap. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. In the immortal words of Robin Williams, ‘God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time.’”

Despite the situation, Pam let out a soft giggle. “I just wish there were more guys like you, who know how to use their brain.”

The light turned green and Jim kept the transmission running smoothly as he accelerated. “Thanks.”

“Also, looks like you’ve gotten a handle on the stick shift, good job.”

He shot her a quick grin. “Good teacher.”

“Shut it you. Mind if I close my eyes till we get to the mall? I got tired all of a sudden.”

“Feel free.”

Pam leaned her head against the window again and closed her eyes. This time her mind was free of worrying thoughts as the sound of the rain and the motion of the car caused some of the stress she’d been carrying to melt away. She didn’t feel the car come to a stop, but did feel it when he reached over to lightly put his hand on her shoulder. “We’re here.”

Her eyes fluttered open and her anxiety returned. “Okay, the management office isn’t too far away. Will you come with me?”

“Of course.”

They passed through the anchor store but when they arrived at the mall offices and asked for Penny, the receptionist told them her sister had just stepped out.

“This isn’t like her at all,” Pam told Jim as they sat down on a nearby bench to wait for Penny. Pam was digging her cell phone back out to call her sister again when a familiar voice hailed them.

“Pam! Over here!” Penny was walking quickly towards them.

Pam leaped up and rushed over to her sister. “Penny! What’s going on? What’s wrong? Are you in trouble?”

“Whoa there, big sis. I’m fine and I’m not in trouble. Though from Jim’s call it sounded like you were.”

Pam spun around to face him. “You called my sister?”

For the first time that day he looked nervous and had his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t know what else to do. You heard Dwight, only a family emergency could have gotten you out of that break room. I hope you’re not mad at me.”

She walked over to him and threw her arms around him for a few seconds before stepping back to look up at him. “How could I be mad at my best friend when he goes and does something like this? Freedom from Todd, an afternoon off, and time with my sister. Thank you, Jim.”

“You’re welcome.” Jim looked up to Penny who was standing nearby patiently. “Thanks for playing along. I know we’ve never officially met before. Jim Halpert.”

She shook his proffered hand. “Penny, but you already know that. Pleased to finally meet you. Pam’s told me about some of the pranks you guys have played.”

Jim reached behind his head and absent-mindedly scratched it. “Yeah, those can get interesting.”

Penny half-turned to gesture towards the food court. “Since you guys are here, would you like to get something to eat? We just got an A&W in or there’s Subway, Sbarro, or Taco Bell if you’d rather any of those. Nothing fancy, but hey, it’s a mall.”

A look of relief showed on Pam’s face as she took her coat off and draped it over her arm. “That would be great. We both left our lunches behind at the office. A&W sounds good. Jim?”

“I rarely say no to Taco Bell. Lead on.” The trio made their way to the food court where Jim peeled off in search of faux-Mexican while Pam and Penny got in the line for A&W.

“So, rough day then?” Penny asked.

“It didn’t start out that way. It was really just the start of lunch that made everything go downhill.” She briefly explained what had happened in the Dunder-Mifflin break room.

“Can’t you write up this Todd to HR?” Penny asked after they’d ordered their food and were standing to one side to wait for it.

“I tried once,” Pam told her. “Thing is the head of corporate HR is one of his good-old-boys buddies and it didn’t go anywhere. When I tried to follow up I was told to not make waves with the most successful traveling salesman the company has ever had.”

“Well that royally sucks. And Roy didn’t say anything to defend you or anything?”

Pam felt her shoulders droop. “Not a word. Maybe now I know why he’s always in a rush when we have sex, or why he always wants to be behind me and in the dark. He won’t have to look at me for as long.”

“Pam! You stop that line of thought right there! You’re beautiful and sexy. Any guy worth their while shouldn’t be able to keep their eyes off you. It can’t be all bad, right?”

“Huh!” Pam couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “You’d think so considering how long we’ve been together by now. The nights he comes home from the bar he’s usually drunk and just passes out without a word. Lately a lot of nights he’s come home not drunk I’m annoyed at him for some other reason and the last thing I want is him touching me like that. So, the nights we are in the mood are just what every girl wants. My boobs getting crushed followed by ten minutes, or less sometimes, in an awkward position where I can’t even see him before he’s done and rolls over to go to sleep leaving me alone, cold, and sore.”

Penny put an arm on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I get now why you’d want to get away from him today. Not all guys are jerks though.”

“Jim said the same thing on the way over here,” Pam said with the barest hint of a smile.

“There’s the smile I know. Cheer up, I’m glad you told me all that, but you don’t have to worry about it all right now. Let’s just have a nice lunch with your cute friend from work.” Penny told her as she grabbed their tray of hot dogs.”

“Don’t tell anyone, but yeah, he is pretty cute.” Pam’s smile was back as she whispered to her sister.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Penny assured her and she started scanning the tables for Jim. They found him nearby. He stood up as they approached and walked around the table to pull their chairs out for them.

“Thanks,” Pam told him as she sat down. “Going for the Mexican pizza?”

Jim had returned to his seat and glanced down at his second attempt at lunch. “Yeah, just what a growing boy needs. Beef, beans, grease, cheese, and to ease the conscience a sprinkling of tomatoes.”

Pam and Penny were both giggling at the recitation as they reached for their condiment packs. Pam didn’t realize Jim was trying to get her attention when she ripped open the packet and squeezed it onto her hot dog. “Pam...umm...that’s not...”

He was too late and she’d already taken a bite before she noticed he was trying to get her attention. “What?” she said through mouthful of hot dog.

“That’s not ketchup,” he said while holding up the packet of Fire sauce she’d accidently picked up from his own tray.

Her eyes grew wide first from the realization of her mistake, and then because of the burning sensation in her mouth. She had no idea what to do with a mouthful of hot dog covered in Fire sauce other than bounce in her seat and wave her hands at her face. Jim was not helping matters because he was laughing so hard. Penny was also doubled over in laughter at her sister’s plight. Pam couldn’t take it anymore and just spit out the half-chewed piece of hot dog on her tray and tried to glare at both of them. She wasn’t very successful.

“Ahhh! This is not funny you two. Get me something to drink! It’s hot!” She reached for her soda but Jim’s hand caught her. He’d recovered enough to wipe the tears of laughter from his face.

“Trust me Beesly, you don’t want to do that. Hang on, I’ll be right back with some milk.” He got up and headed in the direction of Subway leaving Pam still bouncing on her seat. Fortunately, there wasn’t a line at the counter and he quickly returned with two cartons. He opened the first one as he sat back down. “Here, this should help.”

She grabbed the milk carton from his hand and drank deeply. The milk did much to douse the flames on her tongue and her eyes rolled back slightly in relief. “Oh, that feel so much better.” Noticing Jim was still chuckling at her she reached across the table with her free hand and swatted him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I tried to!” he defended while rubbing the spot on his arm she’d lightly struck. “Not my fault you didn’t hear me and chomped down on that hot dog so quickly.”

“Try harder next time,” she mock-scolded as she took another swig of the milk.

“Sure thing. Can I at least buy you a new hot dog since I don’t think you’ll be wanting that one?”

Pam was finishing the milk so just nodded to him. He stood up again and walked off in the direction of A&W. By this time Penny had gotten herself under control and was beaming at Pam. “Not a single word out of you,” Pam told her with a finger in her face.

“Who me?” Penny fluttered her eyelids. “Perish the thought. One thing does concern me though.” Pam looked at her sister with a quizzical expression. “I thought I was your best friend? When did Jim get that title?”

“You’ll always be my best friend,” Pam told her sister and she reached out to cover Penny’s hand with hers. She felt her face grow warm again, but this time it had nothing to do with the final effects of the hot sauce. “But Jim, is...well...considering where we work...he’s...ummm.” Pam had turned her head to look where Jim was standing in line to get her new hot dog. “He’s just great.”

Penny clearly saw the wistful expression on Pam’s face and kept grinning at her. “You’ve told me that you two pull pranks together. I never though you would have a crush on him.”

“I do not have a crush on Jim!” Pam turned back around looking mortified.

Her sister wasn’t buying it. “Right, then what was with that look you had on your face just then?”

“What look?”

Penny cocked her head before replying. “I’ve only seen that look on your face once. Back when we were in high school, just after you got off the computer with Jamie.”

“I’m telling you I do not have a crush on Jim! He’s just a really good friend and a great co-worker. Now you be quiet he’s coming back.”

“Oh, come on! If anyone deserves to hear your story of long-lost-love from high school its him!” Penny teased.

Pam was glaring at Penny by now. “Not a word!”

“Not a word about what?” Jim was back and he set down Pam’s new hot dog in front of her.

“The story of Pam’s first cru-mmmmphf!”

Pam had clapped a hand across Penny’s mouth and was grinning at little too sweetly back at Jim from across the table. “Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Sister stuff.”

This time it was Penny’s turn to glare. Jim glanced back and forth between the two of them. “Umm...okay.”

“You got real ketchup this time?” Pam asked still with her hand over Penny’s mouth.

“Yeah,” Jim held it up for her to inspect. “You can probably let her go now.”

“That depends,” Pam glanced over to her sister. “Are you going to be good?” Penny rolled her eyes and with a sigh nodded her head. “Then yes, you can be let go.” Pam dropped her hand to accept the ketchup packet Jim was still holding out for her.

Penny stuck her tongue out at Pam before digging into her chili-cheese fries. “So, do you two need to be heading back anytime soon?”

Jim shook his head as he pocketed the remaining two hot sauce packets. “I’m just going to keep these out of sight where they can’t cause any more damage. To answer your question, no we don’t need to head back anytime. We’re free the rest of the afternoon, why?”

“There’s a few new video games in the arcade. Figured they’d be fun to try.”

Jim’s eyebrows raised at the prospect of an afternoon in the arcade. “They didn’t get rid of Skee-ball did they?”

“Still there, safe and sound,” Penny informed him.

“What are you planning Halpert?” Pam had finished her first bite of hot dog.

“Finish up lunch and you’ll see,” he told her with a smile and wink.

____________________________________________________________________________

Hours later they were finally making their way back to Pam’s car. The rain had stopped by now so the prizes Jim had won playing Skee-Ball and the basketball game stood no chance of getting wet. Pam was clutching the small stuff dog he’d given her while the rest of the prizes were safe in the bag he was carrying.

“What are you going to name him?” Jim pointed to Pam’s new friend.

“Who says it’s a him?” Pam retorted.

“My apologies. What are you going to name the dog?”

Pam brought the small toy around to her face and started considering names. Finally, one came to her mind that had always been a source of comfort. “I’m going to call him Jamie.”

Jim’s head whipped over to her. “Hey, that’s kind of funny. Back in high school I was called- look out!”

Jim pulled her off to the side as a car came barreling down parking aisle towards them. It missed hitting them, but its tires sent up a shower of water from a puddle that splashed over them. Due to his quick reactions Jim shielded Pam from the worst of the spray, but ended up soaked himself. He let her go and flopped his arms out to the sides to shake off the water.

This time it was Pam’s turn to double over laughing at him. “Oh-ho Jim!”

He looked down at his soaked clothing before glancing back up at her. “The universe’s payback for laughing at you earlier no doubt.”

Pam was still giggling at him. “What goes around comes around.” She offered him her coat. “Here sit on this. I’ll drive this time.  Let’s go get your car.”

A quick drive across town had them soon back at Dunder-Mifflin. Jim was slightly surprised when Pam also got out of the car once they’d parked.

“I forgot my sketch book upstairs,” she explained.

“Oh good. I’ll head up with you. I think I forgot to turn off my computer.”

The door was locked and the lights were off when they stepped out of the elevator. Pam let them in and they went to their desks to accomplish their respective tasks. Pam realized she’d forgotten something else. “I think I left my lunch box in the break room. Mind staying here while I check so we can walk out together?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Jim told her as he shut off his computer.

She walked back to the break room and was soon returning with the lunch box. She held up the contents that were still within. “Care for an evening snack? I’ve got yogurt or some Wheat Thins if you’d like one of those.”

“Sounds great. I’ll take the crackers.” he told her.

She set them on the counter and started fishing for her spoon when she heard his voice again, this time from its usual perch at her desk side. “This might sound weird and there’s no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you’re about to eat has expired.”

Pam looked down at the expiration date of the yogurt cup in question. Just as he had said, it was past due. She glanced back up at where he was leaning across her desk. The main lights were off so the only illumination was from the emergency exit signs and the desk lamp she’d turned on when they’d come in. She couldn’t help notice the way the low lighting highlighted his face. She wanted to say something witty, but found a lump in her throat that made it hard to talk. That’s why I like you so much Jim. You notice the small stuff.

Jim seemed oblivious though and was digging in the bag of arcade prizes he’d brought upstairs. “Here, I’ll trade you.”

He took the yogurt cup from her hand and leaned over to place a novelty pen in her pen cup. She looked down to see a tiny giraffe on a spring bobbling off the end of the pen he’d placed there. Looking back up at him she found herself smiling again. “Thanks.”

“You bet.” They shared the crackers in comfortable silence before he turned to hold the door for her.  “Coming?”

She shook her head and grabbed her bag before locking up behind him. They didn’t talk on the way back down to the parking lot. Once there, the lump in Pam’s throat was gone as she walked to her car. “See you tomorrow Jim. Thanks for a great afternoon.”

“Anytime Beesly. See you tomorrow,” he replied as he walked back to his car.

Pam watched as he drove away with her hand in the air waving good-bye. She saw he returned the gesture before he turned out of the parking lot. Finally, she sat back down in her car and glanced down at the passenger seat. Her new stuffed dog was still on the seat where Jim had left him when he’d gotten out of the car. She brought to toy to her face and hugged it tight. She knew it was silly, but her heart felt lighter and warmer holding the small dog. She let the feeling sustain her as she made her own way home.

When we’ve been there,
Ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun.
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise,
Then when we’d first begun!

The organ belted out the last notes of the closing hymn as Pam closed the song book and placed it back in the holder in her pew. Glancing to her side she saw Jim was waiting to shuffle out of the pew and into the aisle since the service had ended. Together they stepped into the line of congregants slowly making their way out of the sanctuary.

“Thanks again for picking me up since my car’s still in the shop,” she told him. “But you really didn’t have to stay for the service.”

“I don’t mind at all. It’s been awhile since I’ve made it to a church service I’ll admit, but you’re right, it’s nice here. If it’s not too bold of me to ask, how come Roy didn’t bring you?”

Inadvertently Pam glanced down at the floor. “He’s not the church kind of guy. But he is meeting me here soon. We’ve got our first marriage counseling session with Pastor Dan today and he said he’d be here for that.”

Jim nodded at the news. “Finally thinking of setting a date then?”

Pam sighed before she answered. “I hope so. I mean, I’m kinda hoping that starting these sessions will, I don’t know, maybe give him a kick in the butt to talk more about actually planning something. I brought up maybe looking at this fall, but he didn’t really say anything to that.”

The line had slowly moved forward and the two of them were approaching the pastor who was greeting everyone as they walked past. His eyes fell on Jim and Pam and he extended his arms to her in the familiar chaste hug he used with any parishioner who didn’t mind the greeting. “Pam! It’s always a pleasure to see you.” He turned his attention to Jim. “So, this must be the fiancé? Roy isn’t it?”

Pam quickly replied instead. “Oh no, Pastor Dan. Roy’s coming in a bit. This is Jim Halpert, a good friend from work.”

“My apologies,” Dan told Jim as they shook hands. “Roy’s never shown up before, so please forgive me for assuming things.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jim said as let go of Dan’s hand. “Pam was having car trouble this morning so asked me for a ride. She’s said a lot of great things about you and this church so I figured it was worth sticking around.”

“Well, we’re glad to have you today and you’re welcome any time. There’s coffee and cookies in the Fellowship Hall or maybe Pam will show you the murals she painted on the walls in the youth room.”

Jim looked down at Pam with his eyebrows slightly raised. He thought he saw the hint of redness on her cheeks before he turned back to the pastor. “Thanks. A cup of coffee sounds great.”

Pam led him in the direction of the Fellowship Hall. Jim quickly found the promised coffee while Pam poured some hot water in a cup and dropped a teabag into it. “So, yeah, that’s Pastor Dan for you.”

“Seems like a really nice guy,” Jim said as he sipped his drink. “You painted some murals here? When was this?”

“Back when I was in high school,” Pam told him as she dunked her tea up and down in her cup. “It was back when I was in youth group and we were re-modeling the youth room. They asked me to paint the walls after the construction was done.”

“Well Beesly, shall we?” Jim asked with a glint in his eye.

“If you insist. This way.” Pam led them out of the hall and down hallways full of parents claiming children from Sunday school. She called out friendly greetings to those she knew before stopping in front of a door with the words “Youth Room” painted over it.

“Now remember, I painted all this back when I was in high school so don’t get your hopes up too high.”

“I reserve the right to reserve judgement until I’ve seen the piece in question,” Jim told her in what he hoped sounded like a scholarly voice.

“Sure,” Pam said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice as she opened the door and turned on the lights.

Inside was a large rectangular room laid out with several large bean-bags chairs and couches grouped in a semi-circle around whiteboard occupying one half of the space. A bookcase containing several Bibles as well as some other teen devotionals was near the ring of bean-bag chairs. The other half of the room had an air hockey table and foosball table taking up the most space with a couple guitars on stands in the corners.

Along each of the four walls was a scene from the Bible. A mosaic of the six days of creation adorned one of the long walls. Each of the days blended into the next culminating with a pair of figures in the Garden of Eden modestly covered by the leaves of a bush. At the far end of the room on the short wall was the same two figures reaching for an apple hanging from a branch that a snake was also coiled around. Along the other long wall were two scenes side by side of the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. The dark background behind the three crosses of Calvary contrasted with the brightly lit morning sun rising behind an empty tomb. The last wall of the room was framed with rays of light streaming from the vision of a new Heaven and Earth in which all was finally at peace.

At first Jim slowly rotated in place to take it all in. He then walked over to each wall to see the smaller details of the murals close up. Pam had been standing nervously in the doorway while Jim took in the scenes. He walked back to her and shook his head in awe. “Pam, these are great. How long did it take you to paint all this?”

Her shoulders sagged in relief and a smile formed on her face. “About two weeks. It was during spring of my senior year. I’d come here every day after school to work on it.”

Jim stood next to her and kept his gaze around the room. “I really like all the little details you added. Like how you painted each kind of animal on the long wall or the way the angel’s face looks over there. I feel like I should know this, but like I told Pastor Dan, it’s been a while since I’ve been to a church. Is there a reason you chose these particular scenes? I mean, is there like a theme or anything?”

“We had just gotten done with a big study on creation, fall, redemption, new creation when they started the remodel project,” Pam answered. “It seemed fitting.”

“Well, I really like it, Beesly.” Jim couldn’t keep the warmth from his voice. “You did a great job and it shows since they haven’t painted over it or anything.”

Pam couldn’t and didn’t want to stop the smile that formed on her face after listening to Jim. “Thanks.”

They left the room after Pam turned the lights back off. The crowd of people had thinned out by the time they made their way back outside the Fellowship Hall. Glancing inside they saw the coffee and cookies had been put away so they continued outside the building to sit on a bench outside. The late winter air was crisp with the slight breeze that was blowing. Pam wrapped her sweater closer around her until Jim sat down and formed a very effective wind block.

“So, what do you think of Michael’s big news?” Jim asked.

“You mean the TV show?” Pam laughed a little. “I’m not sure I know what to think. I mean it’s not like there’s really anything special about the office.”

“I don’t know,” Jim protested. “The dynamic duo of Michael and Dwight? I just wonder if the only reason they chose us is to have a case study for psychologists to use to document clinical insanity.”

Pam let out a giggle. “Yeah, they’d have no problem there. You might have to cool it with the pranks though.”

Jim looked aghast. “You mean stop doing the one thing I’m good at in the office? Really, Pam? You must want me to die of boredom then.”

She playfully shoved his shoulder. “Oh, don’t worry. If I ever see you die of boredom I’ll bring you back to life. But pranks aren’t the only thing you’re good at. I happen to know for a fact you’re a master jelly bean consumer.”

“Well, yeah. There’s that too,” he said with a smile.

Pam let out a small sigh. “I’m just glad we’re done with all the meetings with the lawyers. I never thought there would be that many forms to sign just to be on a TV show.”

“Right,” Jim agreed. “Especially for one that might not even make it to air. Almost makes me glad I’m not in the entertainment industry.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Pam told him with a playful push to his shoulder. “It’s pretty entertaining watching all your pranks.”

Jim’s face broke into a light smile. “Thanks, Beesly. Your help with all those is greatly appreciated by the way.” The smile that had been on his face faded a bit at the sight of a pickup truck pulling into the parking lot. He pointed at it. “There’s Roy.”

They stood up to wait as Roy parked his truck and walked over to them. Jim couldn’t help but notice Roy kept glancing around as the other man walked over to where they stood. Pam walked up to him and gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek in greeting. For his part Roy only wrapped one arm around Pam and didn’t return the kiss. Instead he looked over at Jim.

“Thanks for bringing Pammy here today, Halpert. She usually drives herself and lets me sleep in.”

“Not a problem at all.” Jim replied somewhat stiffly. His gaze and tone softened when he turned back to Pam. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Jim turned and made started making his way to his car. But not before he heard Roy’s comment to Pam.

“C’mon, babe. Let’s get this done and over with. The game starts soon.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Pam and Roy headed inside after Jim had left. Roy made a beeline for the door and walked right through without holding it for Pam. Frowning slightly, she caught the door before it could hit her arm. She helped Roy take off his coat and hung it up before leading him to Pastor Dan’s office. They entered after hearing Dan acknowledge them.

“Pastor Dan, this is my fiancé Roy Anderson.” She turned to Roy to introduce him. “Roy, Pastor Dan Thompson.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Dan told the other man. “Please have a seat.”

Roy was looking decidedly nervous as he sat down in his chair. “Uh, thanks Father.”

Dan smiled back easily at him. “Please Roy, you can just call me Dan. I’m not a Catholic priest so you don’t have to call me Father.” He clapped his hands together to try and break the tension. “So, getting ready for the big day?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Roy said, deadpan.

Pam reached over and tried to take his hand. She tried to keep the frown off her face when Roy pulled his hand away. She settled on looking back at Dan. “We still have a lot to plan, but figured this would be a good first step.”

“You said that,” Roy said without looking at either one of them.

“You alright, Roy?” Dan leaned over his desk a hair.

Roy finally met Dan’s gaze. “Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem kind of wound up is all. Relax, this isn’t an interrogation or anything. Just a chance to get a gauge on how you two are feeling. So, how are you feeling? Pam?”

“Excited but nervous I guess,” Pam replied. “We’ve been together for so long I’m not really sure what to expect you know?”

“Roy? What about you?” Dan shifted his gaze to look at him.

“I don’t know. I mean, um, it’ll be nice to just have all the wedding stuff done with you know.”

Dan nodded in agreement. “I can imagine. Well, why don’t we just jump right into this thing. Roy, did Pam get a chance to show you the wedding agreement sheet if you two want to have your wedding here?”

“Yeah, I glanced it over. Are you guys serious about the no alcohol thing?”

“I’m afraid so. This is a dry building. As I’m sure Pam has told you we don’t even serve wine during communion services.”

Roy was slowly nodding his head. “Right.”

“Did you have any other questions about the form?”

“Umm,” Roy pulled the sheet of paper out of a pocket and unfolded it. “Yeah, what does it mean here when you say it has to be a Christian ceremony?”

Dan cleared his throat before answering. “What we mean by that is we’ll usually include prayers, some hymns, and a few readings from the Bible on marriage.”

“Oh,” was all Roy said in response while keeping his eye on the sheet of paper.

“That’s only a rule if you want to have the ceremony here in this building,” Dan explained further. Roy only kept his eyes on the sheet of paper so Dan changed the topic. “So, one of the things I’d like to talk about today is what it means to the two of you to be married. Pam, why don’t we start with you. Have you given any thought to not just your wedding day, but the marriage that will follow it?”

Pam brushed a few wrinkles out of the long skirt she was wearing before she answered. “Yeah, quite a bit actually. I remember what you said the last time we talked about this. I guess, when I picture myself with Roy we’ve got a nice house, a couple of kids, maybe I’ll have saved up some money to take some art classes and can really start painting again.” Her head turned to Roy at the sound of his light cough as she finished.

She saw he was looking at her with his eyes turned down a shade. “I thought we were saving up to get a couple wave runners. I mean it’s not like it’s all that hard to dip a brush into a can and paint something, right? Why do you need to go to a class for that?”

“Roy, I’ve told you this before,” Pam told him as her eyebrows raised. She really didn’t want to get into an argument here. “Making art is a skill just like anything else. It’s not that hard to run or catch a ball, but to really be good you’ve got to go to like training camps and the like. It’s the same thing.”

Roy only shrugged in response.

Dan turned his attention to Roy. “What about you Roy? What are your thoughts on not just getting married, but being married?”

“I guess I haven’t given it a lot of thought,” Roy said as he shrugged his shoulders again. “I mean Pammy and I are already living together and everything so it’s not like much is going to change.”

If Dan found the knowledge of them living together untoward he kept it to himself. “What about some of the things Pam mentioned? A house, family, following up on dreams?”

“Yeah, I mean if we have kids we’ll obviously need a house and all that other practical type of stuff. Hobbies are okay too I suppose.”

“You said ‘if we have kids.’ Do you want a family?” Dan pressed.

Roy looked like he was starting to get annoyed and was squirming in his chair. “If it happens sure. I thought you said this wasn’t going to be an interrogation? What’s with all the questions?”

Dan leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry if I came across like that, I assure you I didn’t mean to. Getting married is a big step in the lives of people. I told this to Pam a while back. A wedding is your opportunity to declare that you want to commit to spending the rest of your life with one person and to say that before friends, family, and God.”

“Huh, God,” Roy scoffed.

“Do you believe in God Roy?” Dan asked in a calm voice.

Roy didn’t answer. His fingers were opening and closing over the armrests of his chair.

“It’s okay to say whatever you feel,” Pam told him as she put an arm on his shoulder.

Roy looked at her then back to his lap before he said something in a whisper.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” Dan said from across the desk.

Roy’s head snapped up. This time there was anger in his eyes and his tone. “I said where was God when my Dad died! One minute, Dad was there, then next he was gone! You church people are always talking about love and comfort and all that other crap. But it's all just empty words isn’t it? A couple days of cards and people telling you they’re sorry, but then they leave and act like nothing’s changed.”

Pam felt her throat tighten. She’d never heard Roy express any of this before. She kept her arm on his shoulder. “I was there and have been ever since,” she reminded him.

“Yeah,” Roy conceded but voice was still hard.  “But you’re the only one other than family, but you weren't even really going to church back then.”

There was a very loud silence in the room before anyone spoke again. “Roy,” Dan finally broke the silence, in as gentle a tone of voice as he could speak. He waited until Roy turned and looked back at him. “I want to thank you.”

It wasn’t anywhere near the response Roy was expecting. “For what?”

“For being honest,” Dan told him. “Far too often people talk to me thinking they have to behave or speak a certain way. I’d much rather people be open about what they’re feeling, even if they think I might not like what they have to say. So, for that, I thank you.”

“I’ll bet you’re now going to use some preacher’s line about how God works in mysterious ways or some other bullshit,” Roy’s voice had calmed a little, but he was clearly still angry.

Dan shook his head. “Not at all, you and I both know me saying something like that would be just as you called it; bullshit.”

“So, what are you saying?” Roy challenged.

Dan opened his hands on his desk as he replied. “I don’t know why or even when your Dad died. I am sorry that it happened, because it’s always hard losing someone you love. It seems like you’ve heard that before too. If you choose to believe it when I say it or not, well that’s up to you. What I do know, is you have a beautiful woman sitting next to you. One who wants to spend the rest of her life with you. If you two choose to have your ceremony someplace else other than within the walls of this building, that’s your choice, and one I respect.
“I am a firm believer in the good things a marriage can build between a man and woman. It’s important to me that such a relationship starts out on a good foundation. I can clearly see you’re uncomfortable. We can wrap this up if you want, on the condition that you give some serious thought to some of the things I have said today.”

“Like what?” Roy asked.

“Why you want to be married to Pam, why you want to go through with even getting married in the first place, what being married will look like to you two in the long run.”

Roy only nodded to Dan before looking at Pam. “Ready to go then babe?”

Pam swallowed hard before she was able to speak. “Umm, if you don’t mind, I’d kinda like to stay and talk with Pastor Dan some more. I’m sure he can give me a ride home, right Pastor Dan?”

“Of course,” Dan told her.

“Fine,” Roy said simply before standing up and turning to leave the office.

Once the door was closed behind him, Pam let out a large sigh. “I’m sorry,” she started. “This didn’t end up like how I thought it would.”

Dan looked at her kindly. “It’s alright Pam. Sometimes these sessions can get kind of tense. The important thing is he at least did show up and that he agreed to think about it more.”

His comforting tone did much to soothe the uneasiness Pam was feeling. “Thanks. Not the best first impression I’ll bet.”

“I’ve had worse sessions than that one, believe it or not. Many people just don’t feel comfortable in a church. I guess we found out why it’s like that for Roy today. We don’t have to have these meetings here in my office you know. It’s convenient yes, but if you two would rather talk at home or a bar we can do that too.”

Pam let out a small giggle at that. “Marriage counseling at a bar. That’s funny.”

Dan smiled with her. “It’s about meeting people where they are, rather than forcing them to be where one should think they need to go. I’ve had these meetings all over the place. Bars, restaurants, once even at an amusement park. Nice thing about that one is we all went on a roller coaster afterwards.
“So, what else is new with you? I feel like we hardly get a chance to catch up.”

“Well there’s big news at work,” Pam brightened up. “A crew from PBS is going to start filming a documentary at our office.”

“Wow! That’s exciting! When are they going to start?”

“Next month. We’ve had a ton of meetings with big wigs and lawyers from our corporate office coming in. The producers keep telling us that they want us to just act normally, like we did before any cameras were there. They’re going to test it out in the spring and if they like what they see they’ll come back in the fall for longer periods.”

“Well I’ll be sure to check it out whenever it airs.”

Pam and Dan talked for a little longer before he drove her home. Pam thanked him as she shut her car door and walked inside. Roy was sitting on the couch watching a basketball game with a beer in his hand as she came into the living room.

“I’m home,” she told him as she hung up her coat.

Roy didn’t say anything so she sat down on the other side of the couch and watched the game with him. When a commercial came on she turned to him.

“I’m sorry that made you so uncomfortable.”

Roy picked up the remote and turned the volume down. “Yeah, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that. Churches just do that to me I guess.”

“Dan said we don’t have to meet in his office next time. He said we could meet here, or at a restaurant or somewhere like that.”

“Sure Pammy.” His eyes flicked back to the TV. “Game’s back on.” He turned the volume back up and took another drink from his beer.

They stayed sitting on either side of the couch as the game went on. It was the first game of a double header. As the second game started up Pam left the couch for her little corner in the spare bedroom. Curling up on her chair she pulled out her sketch book. Seeing her old murals had caused inspiration to spark and she spent the rest of the evening drawing out different scenes from high school. The night wore on until she succumbed to exhaustion. She fell asleep in her chair having just put the finishing touches on a doodle of a hand reaching for a broken pair of glasses.

Stupid Roy! Stupid Kenny! Stupid wave runners! Stupid everything! That bush is stupid! That tree is stupid! That cloud is stupid! As Pam parked her car in the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot she jammed the shifter a little too soon causing the transmission to grind for a few seconds before she could correct the problem. My car is stupid too!

“Ahhhhhh!” She pounded the steering wheel as she screamed to her empty car.

For the umpteenth time the scenes from the last eighteen hours or so played out in her head. She and Roy walking out of the office with Roy flush with excitement after winning the basketball game between the warehouse staff and the office staff. The promise of a long soak in the tub foiled even before they were out of the building as Roy told her of his plans to take Kenny rather than her to the lake. His, you’ll be at work anyway baby, ringing hollow in her ears. The night spent alone in bed after Kenny and Roy had left. Waking up to an empty apartment facing a Saturday of work.

“Damnit Roy!” Her palms pounded the steering wheel again as she felt the sting of tears start to well up. “Can’t you see I’ve been trying to be closer to you since these cameras showed up?”

She checked the time and realized she needed to head upstairs to open the office. She popped a compact out of her purse and blotted her eyes with a tissue. Satisfied there were no tear marks streaking her face, she opened her car door and made her way upstairs. As she expected the office was closed and dark. Letting herself in, she turned on the lights and booted up her computer. A few voicemails had come in over-night so she duly listened to them before writing up messages for their recipients. Glancing up, she noticed she was still the only one in the office. Glad for some time alone and with nothing else to do at the moment, she opened a game of solitaire.

It was only after her fifth game in a row that she realized no one else had come in yet. The clock on her computer screen read nine-thirty. Now she was getting worried. On a normal day, most of her co-workers would have arrived. Jim at least would have greeted her with a smile and a wave while grabbing a few jelly beans. It was that thought that had her pulling out her cell phone and dialing Jim’s number. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Hello? Pam?” Clearly, he’d still been asleep judging from the way his voice was slurred.

Pam tried to keep her tone causal. “Yeah, hi Jim. Ummm, I’m just wondering why you’re not here yet?”

“Where here?” As he was waking up his voice became clearer. “The lake? I told you I was planning on going to the outlet mall today.”

A grin formed on Pam’s face at the sound of his sleep-befuddled voice. “No silly. Here at the office.”

“Why would I be at the office? Why are you not at the lake? Wait, are you at the office Beesly?”

“Yeah, and no one else is. Where is everybody?” Pam grimaced at the dodge, but avoiding Jim’s question about the lake seemed easier than having to deal with her hurt feelings.

Jim’s voice sounded fully awake now. Though she’d never seen his room, Pam couldn’t keep an image of him sitting on the edge of his bed in pajamas with his phone to his ear from her mind. “Oh, Beesly, that’s right. You’d already left so you didn’t hear. Michael basically said screw corporate and let us all off the hook from coming in today.”

“Oh,” She was a little taken back. “Why didn’t you text me or something?”

She heard a sharp intake of breath before Jim replied. “Sorry Pam. When you and Roy left it sounded like you two were going to be busy. It slipped my mind. I’m really sorry.”

Pam flicked the giraffe pen Jim had given her as the stream of memories played again. “Yeah, we, um, we kinda didn’t really do anything because Roy pissed me off, again.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Thanks, but no, not really. I know you’re trying to help and all, but....” her voice trailed off since she didn’t know how to end the sentence.

“No, that’s fine,” his voice was reassuring. “Since I failed to let you know you could have enjoyed sleeping in, the least you can do is let me make it up to you. I’m still planning on heading to the outlet mall today. My sister, Larissa will be there too, at least for a little bit.”

“Hmmm, stay here in a lonely office by myself or head out to the outlet mall and get your sister to tell me all the embarrassing stories about you while you were growing up?”

“No, forget it! I didn’t say anything! Keep working on sudoku or minesweeper!”

Pam’s grin widened at the playful tone on the other end of the line. She knew he was kidding anyway “Sorry Halpert, but you asked for it.”

“As you wish Beesly.”

She was getting to turn off the lights before shutting down her computer. “Are you ever going to stop quoting that movie?”

“Not until you admit it’s one of the best movies of all time,” he countered.

“Ha! Good luck with that. It’s fun and all, but best movie of all time? I don’t think so.”

“One of the best movies of all time, one of.”

“Want to meet there, or would you like me to pick you up?” Pam had finished turning off the lights and was re-locking the door behind her.

“How about I pick you up? I still need to shower and get changed. You’ll probably want to change too, unless you want to walk around in your work clothes?”

Pam looked down at her cardigan, blouse, and skirt. “Yeah, probably not the best to wear while shopping,” she agreed.

“Let me guess, it was the pink sweater today?”

“Blue, thank you very much! Will an hour give you enough time to get ready and be at my place?”

“Yeah, an hour will be fine. See you soon.”

“Yup, see you soon.” She ended the call feeling much better about herself than the last time she’d sat in the small car. The thought of getting out of, what she thought of as, mousy work clothes and into comfortable jeans and long sleeve shirt was an added bonus.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Jim could hardly believe his luck. He'd faced two separate kinds of dejection on leaving the office the previous day. The first of having lost a game due to Michael’s antics and the second after overhearing what Pam and Roy were planning on getting into when they got home. Now he wasn’t sure if his rib cage could contain the pounding in his chest. Pam was sitting in the passenger seat of his car looking happy and excited to be heading out shopping.

“Thanks for coming out today,” he said as he pulled out of her apartment complex.

“Well you did mention big savings on name brand appliances.” Her tone was light and friendly. “What girl could resist? Speaking of that, what are you looking for anyway?”

“Specifically, a new microwave. Mark, that’s my roommate, has decreed that we either get a new one or buy lead vests since the one we have is so old it’s probably sending out radiation.”

She looked at him aghast. “Please tell me you’re not thinking of driving all the way down to the outlet mall for a simple microwave?”

“Sure, why not,” he shrugged.

“Because the outlet mall is miles out of the way! That’s why! No, there are plenty of stores here in town where we can find you a microwave that won’t break your bank. Head over towards Viewmont mall. There’s tons of places over there.”

“Wow Beesly, bossy much?” Jim’s chuckle took any sting out of his words. He fished his phone out of his pocket while they were at a red light. “If we’re heading that way could you do me a favor? Text my sister the change of plans.”

Pam took the phone and opened up the contact list. “What’s her name?”

“Larissa,” Jim told her.

Scrolling through the contacts, Pam quickly found the entry in question and opened up the texting function. “Is she your big sister or little sister?”

“Little sister,” Jim’s replied.

“Thanks.” She began slowly speaking aloud the message she was sending. “Hey little sis. Plans changed cuz I’m a huge dork.”

“Hey!” Jim’s head whipped over to see Pam grinning from ear to ear while punching in the message. “You are not seriously sending that!”

She ignored him. “We’ll meet you at Viewmont mall instead and lunch is on me!” With a flourish, Pam hit the send button and snapped the phone shut with a wide toothy smirk on her face. “Don’t get mad at me. You handed me the phone!”

Jim’s head sagged for a moment, before he resigned himself to his fate and grabbed the phone back from her. “Fine, but since I’m the one who’s going to have to pay, I get to choose where we go for lunch.”

“Oh, you think, so do you?” she challenged while crossing her arms across her chest. Jim’s phone chirped as a reply text was received. Before he could do anything, Pam had snatched the phone back and was reading the reply that had come in. “Glad to know you’re finally admitting your dorkiness big bro. Lunch on you sounds great. See you soon.”

“Remind me why I invited you again?”

Pam clasped her hands in front of her. “’Cuz I’m adorable,” she cooed in a sing-song voice.

Oh Beesly, you have no idea. Jim shook his head and picked up his I-pod to hand to her while taking his phone back. “Here, at least make yourself useful and pick out some good music.”

They spent the rest of the car ride singing along to Queen’s greatest hits while Freddie Mercury’s voice blared out of the speakers. Reaching the mall, they made their way to Sears where Larissa said she would meet them, courtesy of another text that had come in during their rendition of Bicycle Race. Jim waved when he saw his sister waiting for them on bench.

“Hey ‘Ris!”

Larissa got up as the other two approached with a smile on her face. “Hey big bro!” She leaned in for a quick hug. “Thanks for the invite.”

“No problem,” Jim turned to Pam. “Pam this is my younger sister, Larissa. Larissa, Pam Beesly. She’s the receptionist at my office.”

“Great to finally meet you,” Larissa told the other woman as she leaned in for another quick hug. “Jim’s told me a lot about you.”

Jim felt his cheeks grow warm at the sight of the eyebrow Pam cocked at him. “Oh really? Nothing bad I hope?”

A quick laugh from Larissa effectively defused the tension. “Of course, not. Tell me though, was it your idea or Jim’s to pay your co-workers to call Dwight, Dwyane?”

Jim’s grin returned at hearing the giggle Pam let out. “Oh! That day was so much fun! It was Jim’s idea, but since everyone has to pass my desk to get into or leave the office it was my job recruit everyone in the days leading up to that.”

He kept smiling as Pam divulged the days of planning that had gone into that prank. Figuring out the order of which co-worker to approach first had taken several days of lunch breaks, with quite a few pro-con lists developed and scrapped. Looking into the vacation request log to set the day for the prank for a day when people who couldn’t be bribed were out of town. How they’d both had to intercept Michael the morning of the prank to get him on board since they both knew their boss had the worst reputation at keeping a secret. Pam’s eyes were sparkling as she revealed the coup-de-gras, of how Jim had also replaced the name placard on Dwight’s desk to read Dwyane as well.

“So, there’s Dwight jumping up and down by his desk as he’s about to leave for the day. Throwing a literal temper tantrum, I might add, shouting, ‘My name is Dwight! D-W-I-G-H-T! Dwight! It rhymes with light! If I come back tomorrow and you’re all still unaware there will be consequences for all involved. Legal consequences courtesy of the Lackawana County Sherriff's Department!’”

Larissa was back to sitting down on the bench since she was laughing so hard at Pam’s story. She wiped a tear of merriment from her eye as she got her breathing under control. “So, what happened the next day?”

Jim picked up the story. “Dwight came walking into the office and actually had his Volunteer Deputy badge pinned to his suit coat and was just glaring at everybody. Of course, we’d switched back his name plate and everyone was back to calling him Dwight that day anyway. You’ve never seen a guy who was more ready to pick a fight to so utterly have the wind taken out of his sails as Dwight was that day.”

“Good call to only have it go one day,” Larissa told them as she stood back up. “Probably would have messed with his head to much if you’d gone on much longer. But anyway, what are we doing standing around here for? The big tall dorky one there said something about a microwave when he called last night.”

They turned and headed into the department store making their way towards the appliances. As they passed the rows of kitchen supplies Jim saw Pam peaking down an aisle. “Something you’re thinking of getting Beesly?”

“There were teapots down that row. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a teapot at my desk rather than have to walk to and from the kitchen all the time for hot water.”

“We could go look,” Larissa offered. “It’s not like we’re in any big rush.”

“You guys don’t mind?”

Jim and Larissa shared a quick glance. “Of course not,” Jim told her. “Lead on.”

The small group turned around and came to the aisle Pam had glanced down. Several models were on display ranging from some that had heating elements built in to the base, to silver pots that looked like they’d come out of an English manor house. It was a small teal ceramic pot that drew Pam’s eye though. She picked up the display model and looked it over. Pam took off the lid and inspected the inside before replacing the item back on the shelf.

“So? Is that one the winner?” Jim asked.

“If I was buying one, it would be. But, well, money’s kind of tight right now and it’s not really that far a walk from my desk to the kitchen anyway.” Pam glanced back at the pot with a wistful look. “Maybe next time.”

Larissa walked over to inspect the teapot herself. “You sure Pam? It’s not that pricey and it looks small enough to fit on an office desk. Since it’s ceramic it would probably hold heat pretty well too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Looking up at Jim she intercepted his line of thought. “Don’t you dare offer to buy it for me Halpert. We’re here to get stuff for you, not indulge me.”

Jim held up his hands in mock-defense. “Hey, no problem.”

Thirty minutes later they were making their way out of the store with Jim carrying the new microwave. Pam and Larissa were flanking him as they weaved their way between other mall shoppers on their way to Jim’s car to deposit the purchase.

“So, Pam,” Larissa began. “Did Jim ever tell you about the time he got stiches in his head?”

Jim let out a groan. “Oh please ‘Ris, not this one.”

“If that’s his reaction, it’s got to be good,” Pam grinned.

Larissa’s return smile was full of mischief. “I’m sure you’re aware that we have two older brothers, Pete and Tom. The self-proclaimed kings of practical jokes.”

“Huh, more like jesters,” Jim cut in.

“Hush you,” Larissa swatted his arm. “Growing up Pete and Tom were always looking to pull one over on us two. Jim more than me, but I was still a target fairly often. Anyway, the morning of my fifth birthday Tom and Pete knew they couldn’t go after me since our parents had instituted a no-prank policy on birthday’s. Jim however was still fair game of course.
“There’s this really long hallway as you come up the stairs in our parents' house. It just leads to bedrooms and bathrooms and the like of course, but like I said one end is the stairs. Our parents' room is right at the top of the stairs as you come up and Pete was hiding behind the door. Tom had convinced Jim to play long jump with him. Start at the top of the stairs, run to the edge of the bathroom door, and whoever jumped furthest without crashing into the linen closet door was the winner. Best two out of three.
“On Jim’s third time, Pete jumps out from behind the door to scare Jim. He scared him alright. Scared him so much Jim went falling backwards down the top flight of stairs and cracked the drywall at the landing. Also cracked his head open. Mom was furious. Just picture it, she’s in the kitchen making my birthday cake when six-year old Jim comes in screaming and crying with blood dripping down his head.”

Pam’s eyes were wide and her hands were over her mouth. She looked up at Jim. “Were you okay?”

He gave a shrug. "I had to have five stiches in my head and the four of us were forever banned from our parents’ room unless we had permission to go there. I think I did more damage to the drywall than it did to me.”

“It made for a memorable birthday, that’s for sure,” Larissa went on. “When we got to the emergency room the wait time was huge. Mom hadn’t called an ambulance, just packed us all up and drove straight there. So, Tom and Pete were in trouble, Jim has a split skull, and I just want to open presents all there in the waiting room. Dad finished making the cake and met us there. By this time, I was so angry and upset for my brothers ruining my birthday that Mom and Dad caved. Dad brought the cake and presents to the ER and we had my birthday there in the waiting room.”

“It’s also where I learned the two best rules of prank-dom,” Jim chimed in.  They’d made it out to the parking lot and the microwave was safely in Jim’s car. “Don’t intentionally hurt anyone and don’t intentionally break anything. You can pull off a lot more pranks without getting caught that way.”

Pam gave a thoughtful nod. “So that’s the secret to your success.”

Jim gave her a wink. “That and the right partner in crime.”

Larissa caught the brief exchange. “Knock it off with the flirting you two. C’mon Jim your text earlier said you’d spring for lunch. There’s an Applebee’s nearby and they always have a good lunch menu.”

Suddenly Jim was very glad he’d already put the microwave in his car, since he was sure he would have dropped it after hearing Larissa’s comment. His face felt like it was burning as his hand came up to scratch the back of his neck. “No! We weren’t...I mean...it’s just,” he stammered.

The only saving grace that Jim saw was that Pam was similarly affected. “Yeah...that’s not...we’re just....umm,” but she just trailed off.

“Oh my god you guys!” Larissa broke into a huge grin. “I’m just teasing! Relax. Now come on, it’s time for lunch.”

Jim gave Pam a sheepish grin before heading around to open the passenger door of his car for her. Pam returned the shy smile as she sat down. Fortunately, Queen was still pulled up on the I-pod and by the time they reached Applebee’s a stirring rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody had managed to erase any embarrassment. The lunch rush at the restaurant was light, so they were shown to a table right away. Pam excused herself to the restroom leaving Jim with his sister. Jim slid into one side of the booth but his eyebrows shot up as Larissa took a seat opposite him.

“What?” she asked in a falsely innocent tone.

“You do realize that now it’s on Pam to choose who she wants to sit next to?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Larissa shrugged. “She sits next to me; no big deal and we can whisper more stories about you to each other. I will not believe for an instant that you don’t want her to sit next to you though.”

“Of course, I’d like her to sit next to me,” Jim’s eyebrows were now slightly furrowed. “It’s not that simple. You know she’s engaged.”

Skepticism was written all over Larissa’s face. “Right, which explains why she’s hanging out with us today rather than with her fiancé.”

“We’re friends,” Jim said automatically.

Larissa reached over and grabbed Jim’s hand. “How long are you going to let that excuse be your shield? Sooner or later, you’re going to have to tell her how you feel.”

Jim looked down at the table as their waiter brought some water. When the waiter left Jim looked up again. “Regardless of how I feel about her, Pam is the best friend I’ve ever had outside of family. If I tell her how I really feel, that could mess that all up. I don’t think I could deal with that.”

“Jim, if you’re really that good of friends, don’t you think you two could handle something as big as that?”

For his part, Jim only shrugged as he tore his straw wrapper to shreds. “I’d like to think so, but I don’t know. Maybe just safer to keep things like this.”

“That’s a lame excuse big bro, and you know it.”

“I know. Fine, I’ll tell her how I feel, but the timing’s got to be right. Before you blurt anything out, no, today is not the right time.”

“I’m going to hold you to that you know,” Larissa told him with a sharp eye over her water glass.

“I know,” he agreed. “Now can it, she’s coming back. This conversation didn’t happen.”

To Jim’s delight, Pam didn’t hesitate before sliding into the booth next to him. He shot Larissa a warning glance to keep her mouth shut as they picked up their menus. The three of them spent the next two hours enjoying lunch and telling stories. Jim and Pam were more than happy to regale Larissa with tales of their pranks. Larissa had great fun sharing more stories of Jim while they were growing up. Pam included a few of her own, including trips she’d made with her family to Niagra Falls. Loathe to let the afternoon end after lunch, they got lucky and caught a sneak preview of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

“Thanks for spotting for the tickets,” Pam gushed to Larissa as they came out of the theater.

“Not a problem at all,” Larissa waved off. “After all it was your brilliant plot to get Jim to treat for lunch so I figured it was my turn. Sadly, as much fun as today has been, I need to get going home. I’ve got some patient reports that are due next week and it’s better to get them done sooner rather than letting them all pile up.”

“Fair enough,” Pam told her. “I never knew being a counselor meant so much paperwork.”

“Death, taxes, and paperwork. The only three things that are always consistent in any part of the health care field,” Larissa joked.

“Well anyway, it was great to see you today,” Jim told his sister as he leaned in for a hug once they arrived at Larissa’s car.

“You too,” Larissa said with her own hug. She turned to Pam. “Wonderful to meet you too. Glad to know I’m not alone in keeping this one on his toes.”

Pam gave a laugh as she gave Larissa her own good-bye hug. “Anytime. I’ll be sure to email you for more ideas.”

Jim groaned good-naturedly, but inwardly he was very happy to see that Pam and Larissa had quickly become friends. They pulled out of the parking lot and merged onto the highway so Jim could drop off Pam. It was only then that Jim noticed Pam’s eyes follow a road sign.

“Got an attachment to Marywood University?”

Pam leaned back in her seat since she had turned her shoulders to look at the sign as it flashed by. “Yeah, I went there for two years.”

“I remember,” Jim nodded.

“What? When did I ever tell you, I went to Marywood?” Pam’s puzzled face matched her voice.

“My first day in the office. Remember? We were in the conference room while I was filling out forms. You mentioned you’d had to drop out of college. You didn’t say Marywood, just college though.”

Pam’s eyes were now slightly glazed over as the memory came back to her. “I forgot I’d mentioned that.”

Jim glanced over at her. “Want to go look around? For old times' sake?”

“I don’t know. I doubt we’d be able to see much or go anywhere.”

“Not the point Beesly.” Another sign for the college was pointing to an off ramp. One that Jim was now angling towards. “Tell you what, you show me around Marywood today, and one of these days I’ll take you over to Penn State and show you around my old stomping grounds.”

“Deal,” Pam agreed. “But good luck parking on campus. It’s not that big to begin with and campus security was always really strict about giving out parking tickets.”

“Where do you suggest then?”

Pam thought for a minute. “There’s a little league field about a block from campus. We could park there.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

In retrospect, Pam had to agree that Jim’s idea for a stroll down memory lane was a good one. She clearly remembered the last time she’d been on campus, while trying to find her lost sketch. The visit this time was noticeably better. Classes were still in session for the spring semester so they didn’t go into any of her old classrooms. They were able to find a few of Pam’s former professors and spent some time catching up. The sun was starting to dip towards the horizon as they started to make their way back to Jim’s car.

“Good time then?” Jim asked as they walked between a couple buildings.

Pam nodded. “It was. I’d forgotten how much I missed this place. Kinda makes me wonder if I could ever go back. You know, finish up my degree.”

“Why’d you stop in the first place?”

The question hit on an old heartache that Pam had thought was long buried. “Other stuff came up.”

“Like what?” Jim pressed.

Pam let out a huge sigh before answering. “I ended my last year here with incomplete grades in most of my classes. The week before finals was when Roy’s dad died. I got so caught up being there for him I missed most of my exams. I needed to wait till the next spring semester to re-take those classes and by then Roy and I were engaged and well, it didn’t seem like a good idea.”

“I’m sorry Pam,” Jim reached over and rubbed her upper arm.

“Thanks,” she said with a small smile on her face for his kind gesture. “It was a long time ago so I'm mostly over it by now. Still, one of those moments in life you always think about, you know?”

Jim nodded at her. “Yeah, I’ve had a couple like that myself.”

Now it was Pam’s turn to be curious. “Like when?”

“Back in high school for one,” Jim admitted. “There was this one time I really hit it off with a girl. We only talked twice, but I remember it was so unlike any other girl I’d ever talked to. She was cute, funny, we got on great. She didn’t go to my high school though and I never got her last name. I tried, but I was never able to re-connect with her. Sometimes I wish I’d tried harder.”

They’d made it back to the little league field parking lot. Unlike when they’d first showed up, the field was now in use. Around a dozen boys were spread out across the diamond for what was clearly one of their first practices of the season. Two coaches were on the field with the boys, one at the mound throwing easy pitches for batting practice, while the other adult was in the outfield handing out pointers on how to catch a fly ball.

Jim and Pam wandered over to the fence to watch for a few minutes before they turned to head back to Jim’s car. They hadn’t gone very far when they heard the distinct sound of aluminum striking a baseball followed by a loud shout.

“Heads up!”

A foul tip had sent a ball over the backstop and heading right for the pair. Jim acted swiftly and moved to stand between Pam and the ball. He brought his hands up to catch the ball, but due the last rays of sunlight in his eyes, the baseball struck him in the middle of the chest. It bounced off and rolled a short distance away.

Pam stepped forward and threw the ball back over the fence in the direction of the coach on the pitcher’s mound. Turning, she fully expected Jim to be grinning at her with a witty remark. Instead, what she saw wiped the smile off her face.

“Jim? Are you okay?”

It seemed Jim was starting to gasp for air and his hands were clutched to his chest where the ball had struck him.

Pam was at his side in an instant. “Jim! Talk to me! Are you alright?”

He couldn’t respond. Jim’s eyes rolled back in his head as his legs gave out from under him. Pam caught him as he fell, but his weight was too much for her. She could only slow his fall, not stop it. She started shaking his shoulders trying to get him to wake up.

“Jim! JIM!! Wake up!” She looked back up at the coach who by now had noticed her plight.

“HELLPP!!” The shout seemed to tear out of her vocal chords.

It didn’t matter, Jim wasn’t waking up, no matter how hard Pam shook his shoulders. Pam could only look on helplessly as the two baseball coaches ran over. One only paused briefly to stop at the restroom near the diamond at a metal box on the wall. The box had a picture of a heart with a lightning bolt on it.

“What’s going on?” The coach who had been on the mound reached Jim first.

“I don’t know!” Pam was sobbing by now. “The ball hit him in the chest and now he won’t wake up! Help him! Please!!”

The coach looked up at her as he kneeled down next to Jim’s prostrate body. “My name’s Kyle, I’m a paramedic. Do you have a phone?”

Pam shook her head. “I left at home.”

Kyle tilted Jim’s head up and bent his head to press his ear near Jim’s face while looking down at Jim’s chest. At the same time, his fingers went to Jim’s neck. He was only there for a few seconds before he was back up and glanced over at his coaching partner. “Bob! Get the AED out and call 911. Tell them off-duty medic on scene of a confirmed Class 1, CPR in progress.”

Pam kneeled down on the other side of Jim as Kyle put his hand on Jim’s chest and began to push hard and fast. “Class 1? What does that mean?”

Kyle was starting to count out loud in rhythm with his compressions. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30! It means his heart’s not beating and we need an ambulance here fast.”

Bob had set the small padded case he’d pulled off the wall down next to Kyle. Pam looked up and saw the other man was now on the phone answering the questions the 911 dispatcher was asking. Kyle had tipped Jim’s head up and after putting a small mask over Jim’s mouth and nose, had blown two breaths into the mask that caused Jim’s chest to rise and fall. Rather than restarting his chest compressions, Kyle had taken out a pocket knife out and cut open Jim’s shirt. Kyle unzipped the small case and pushed the on/off button.

A mechanical voice had started speaking giving directions, but Kyle was already ahead of the prompts. He’d already taken two large stickers with wires leading down to the machine out of their package and placed one just above Jim’s right nipple, and the other one on the middle of the left side of Jim’s chest.

“Attach electrodes to skin!”

“Stand clear of the patient! Analyzing now!”

Kyle saw Pam was holding Jim’s hand. He reached over and gently pried Pam’s hand off. “You need to let go so the AED can get a clear reading.”

“Shock advised! Clear the patient!”

A low but rising musical tone sounded from the AED. Kyle took the time to start pushing on Jim’s chest again before the sound coming of the AED switched to a loud pulsated beat and an orange button with a lightning bolt started flashing.

“Press flashing button!”

“Clear!” Kyle shouted and gave Jim’s body a once over to make sure no one was touching him. Pam could only look on as Kyle pushed the button and instantly Jim’s body jerked a few inches off the ground before coming to rest again.

Kyle wasted no time and immediately started pushing on Jim’s chest again while again counting out loud each time he pushed. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5...”

Bob came over and knelt next to Pam, still on the phone with 911. “Do you know how old he is?”

Pam couldn’t take her eyes off the scene unfolding in front of her. “Um, umm, twenty-six I think.”

This isn’t happening! It can’t be! This is what happens in movies and on TV, not in real life. WAKE UP JIM! WAKE UP!!

But Jim wasn’t waking up. Pam watched as Kyle went through four more cycles of chest compressions and breaths before the AED commanded him to stop so it could analyze again. Like before it gave instructions to clear and built up another charge that Kyle sent coursing through Jim’s limp body. This time Bob knelt down and was the one to push on Jim’s chest.

Pam had been counting along with Bob. He was halfway through his set of compressions when another sound reached her ears. It seemed to be coming from far away but was getting closer and louder with every second. A high keening wail that rose and fell, interspersed with blasts from an air horn.  Kyle looked up as the siren grew closer, his face flushed with relief. To Pam, the ambulance siren was the sound of hope on the wind.

Ethan Wilcox was double checking his uniform. It was a routine he’d gotten into since his first days of working first as an EMT and later as a paramedic for Pennsylvania Ambulance. The personal equipment he kept in various places on his uniform had been placed there very intentionally. Each piece and its location chosen after over eight years of responding to medical emergencies. A few items had come and gone through the years as he experimented with a few new gadgets. A grin stole over his face as a fond memory bubbled up. The first time he’d explained to his then girlfriend, now wife, about why and where he kept what he did in his pockets, she’d forever dubbed them his, “accoutrements.” It might take a while to clear out his uniform before it went into the laundry hamper, but at this point in his career he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Looking down, the side zipper of his boots was all the way up and the laces were double knotted and tucked in so they wouldn’t offer a trip hazard. The snug feel of volleyball pads covered his knees under the cargo-style medical pants he wore. Reaching down to the cargo pocket on his right thigh, he made sure the medical equipment stowed there was in place. A spare pair of exam gloves, respiratory kit, the personal tourniquet he hoped he would never have to use since that was the one he kept for himself. On the outside of the pocket a roll of medical tape was clipped to a piece of fabric snapped to outside of his pant leg. In a small pocket his spare pen was resting in its place. The left cargo pocket carried his personal wallet and some spare change. Secured by clips in his upper right pocket his folding pocket knife was secure next to the piece of equipment he used most often. A small flashlight that had a double-sided clip so he could attach it to the brim of his hat to use as a headlamp. His keys dangled from a mini-carabiner attached to a belt loop and were tucked away in his upper left pocket.

He ran his hands over his belt to ensure the three things clipped to it were secure. Unlike some of the rookie medics he worked with, he didn’t feel the need to fill his entire belt with every new thing that promised to make his life easier. His cell phone was stored in a small leather case next to his work pager at his right hip. At the small of his back his trauma sheers were also secure in their leather case. He liked his trauma sheers. They were much more robust than the cheap ones his work stocked and had the added bonus of being a welcome reminder of the first Christmas he’d shared with his wife after they’d gotten married.

His hands came up to check the front pockets of his uniform shirt. The company ID badge, which also granted him access to the ER’s in the area, and his small pad of paper that had spaces to write patient vital signs or other quick notes rested in the right pocket. In the left pocket was his chest pain kit, with its aspirin and small vial of nitroglycerin tablets. A black ball point pen was also in his left pocket. The kind without a cap that retracted into the pen body with a button on the end. The silver name plate with his first name and last initial was centered over his right shirt pocket. On his collar was a small pin with the Star of Life emblazoned on it. He had multiple copies of the pin. It had become a habit of his to take the pin off his collar whenever he had to respond to a child having an emergency. Often times the scared child would calm down when he placed those Star of Life pins on their shirts. He strapped his watch around his left wrist and after putting his plain black baseball-style hat on his head he was finally satisfied he was ready to leave for his twelve-hour shift.

Walking downstairs he was pleasantly surprised to see his lunch box waiting for him on the counter. His wife must have left it before she headed out to go shopping with her sister. One of the hardest parts of his job was that he and his wife worked opposite schedules. She during the day and he at night. Sometimes they’d go days without seeing each other. The fact she’d packed a lunch for him showed she was still trying to make connections despite how much time they had to spend apart. Checking his watch, he still had time to get the dishes into the dishwasher before he left so there wouldn’t be a pile in the sink when she got home from the mall. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder he grabbed his lunch box as well as the garbage to dump in the outside container and headed out to his car.

It wasn’t a very long drive to the ambulance station. Pulling into the parking lot he saw several ambulances lined up on the street. The off-going crews had pulled the trucks out of the building for a couple reasons. It gave them more room to pull their ambulances into the station to clean and re-stock them. It also afforded the on-coming crews an easier exit if a call came in during the shift change.

Walking into the station he smiled. Ethan was one of the more senior medics in his company. He’d earned his placed through hard-work and dedication to his job. His official title was Lead Paramedic. It meant that he’d completed additional leadership training and so his company felt confident he could work with not just other seasoned medics, but newly minted paramedics. He also very often was partnered with EMT’s rather than paramedics, the different title due to lower medical license. While he could do everything his EMT partners could do, like assess patients, splint broken limbs, take vitals, or other tasks, his paramedic license allowed him to perform more advanced medical skills. He was trained to recognize and treat various heart rhythms, scan electrocardiogram readings to determine if a patent was having a heart attack, start IV’s, administer over twenty different medications, and place a breathing tube directly into a patient's windpipe if required.

The station had a kitchen where most of his co-workers would congregate around a small table during shift change. Countless stories of calls good and bad had been shared across that table over the years. Shared joy, laughter, and heartache forged strong bonds between the men and women who responded to emergencies as a matter of course.

Ethan dropped his backpack and lunch box near his locker and returned to the kitchen. He made himself a cup of coffee as he listened to a fellow medic named James telling a story from a previous shift. “So, it's Kathryn What-her-face calling again ‘cuz of course her chest and stomach are hurting. You know who I’m talking about, she’s the one without any top teeth since they all rotted out from doing meth. Everything is hurting so of course she wants pain meds. Almost textbook perfect vital signs, not guarding her stomach or anything, talking clear and easy. No way in hell she’s got ten out of ten pain. So, I told her that our protocols don’t allow us to give pain meds for abdominal pain without evidence of injury which she doesn’t have.
“You know what she tries next? Fake puking! I shit you not! She screams at me she’s about to hurl, so I gave her a vomit bag and she’s spitting into it and then starts asking if she can get meds now. I’m thinking, ‘oh hell no.’ I did tell her that she didn’t vomit so, no I can’t give her any meds since she didn’t actually puke.”

“You didn’t give her anything did you?” Ethan asked while grabbing the sheet on the table that would tell him which ambulance he was assigned to for the shift.

“Fuck no! We were only about a minute out anyway. Took her right to triage too.”

Standing apart from the table an EMT-student shuffled nervously. “You didn’t do anything for her?”

James looked up at the student. “Sure, we did. We brought her to the ER. She’s the kind of patient who calls 911 maybe four or five times a day. So, we’ll pick her up and bring her to a different hospital each time. She’s a drug-seeker and probably ran out of money for heroin. She calls us thinking we don’t know exactly who she is or what she’s doing. All the hospitals know who she is too.”

“Couldn’t they get her in contact with a social worker or something?”

Ethan shrugged while sipping on his coffee. “They’ve all tried. Every time they’ve offered to send her to rehab she’s refused. But she keeps calling us since we can’t refuse to transport her if she wants to go to the ER.”

“Oh,” was all the student could say.

Glancing back down at the truck assignment sheet, Ethan saw he was with his usual Saturday night partner. A fellow paramedic named Steve Colfax. The EMT-student shuffling near the table was also assigned to his truck for the shift as well.

“Riding with us tonight?” Ethan asked the student.

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name again?” The student’s name was on the truck assignment sheet, but Ethan knew a good opening when he saw one.

“Dan. Dan Briggs.”

Ethan finished the last of his coffee and threw the styrofoam cup in the trash. “Welcome aboard for the night. Grab your stuff. Truck’s outside.”

Dan turned and picked up a backpack as Ethan walked across the room to grab one of the heavy-duty laptops they used on the trucks. Every time an ambulance was dispatched to a call, no matter how trivial, a report had to be written for it. While they still had paper run report forms if the computers were down, most reports were now written and filed electronically. Ethan nodded for Dan to follow him to the locker room where Ethan, picked up his own backpack and lunch box. A side door led to where the ambulances were parked on the side of the street.

Ethan held the door for Dan. “Is this your first clinical shift?”

“Yeah, we’ve only had classroom lectures and practical days for the last three months. Our instructor just cleared my class for clinical shifts last week. I wanted to jump right in.”

“Good for you, show’s initiative,” Ethan told him. He was starting to warm up to the student. They paused for a second as the door closed behind them. “This is one of my favorite parts of the shift.” 

“What?”

“Walking out to the truck. You’ve seen the movie Top Gun, right?”

Dan shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

Ethan let his head sag for a moment before looking back up at the young student. “Fail! Consider it your homework to watch if you end up riding with me again. Anyway, just before the last big dogfight in the movie there’s a shot of Tom Cruise’s character, Maverick, walking across an aircraft carrier flight deck to where his F-14 Tomcat fighter jet is waiting. This big, awesome piece of bad-assery just waiting to be unleashed. Then there’s a couple shots of Maverick doing his pre-flight walk around, making sure everything is ready.
“Well, there’s our fighter jet for the night. A couple tons of diesel-powered ambulance ready to tear ass through the city. There’s nothing this city can throw at us that we can’t at least start to fix. C’mon, we need to check it out before we call available for the night.”

They crossed over to the waiting ambulance. It sat quiet, ready, waiting. Ethan opened up the cab and turned the ignition. The rumble of the diesel engine came from under the hood as the radios turned on. Flipping a switch, the lights came on in the patient compartment. Dropping his gear between the front seats, Ethan grabbed the shift change report-form the previous crew had left on the dash board. He stepped back down out of the cab to where Dan was waiting for him.

“Drop your stuff in the back then meet me back out here.”

Dan did as he was bid and then joined Ethan as they started to check the truck. Ethan took the time to make sure the student was aware of where all the various piece of equipment was stowed on the exterior compartments of the truck. Completing the exterior checks, the pair stepped into the back of the ambulance. Like before they checked each cabinet methodically. Inside an orange medical bag was more medical gear, but the amounts carried were only ideal for one or two patients at a time. Anything they used out of the bag could be replaced from what they carried in the ambulance cabinets. The truck carried enough equipment to deal with quite a few calls before they’d have to return to the station to re-stock. Ethan took a small key ring off the carabiner at his waist and opened up the only locked cabinet on the ambulance. Inside was a large blue medical bag that contained most of the drugs they could administer. A second hard plastic case held medications that were considered more controlled, like morphine. Ethan explained that since those medications were considered narcotics, they had to be kept separate and secure. Both the med bag and narc box had plastic numbered seals that corresponded with tags on the bag and box. Ethan confirmed the seals and tags matched before re-locking the cabinet.

“Lastly we have the monitor,” Ethan pointed out the large machine with a screen on the counter. “I use it just about every call cause it has the automatic blood pressure cuff that time-stamps when I take vitals. You however are going to do manual vitals unless I or Steve say otherwise. As good as this thing is, it can get fooled unlike when you take vitals yourself.”

“Then why use it all the time?” Dan asked.

“Good question. First, it’s usually right so no worries there. Second, like I said it logs what time I take vitals and that makes for more accurate documentation.”

“Anything else it can do?”

“Yeah, it’s not in your scope of practice but if I want to look at someone’s heart rhythm I can do that. Also, if we end up with a cardiac arrest call tonight this thing basically tells the Grim Reaper, ‘I’ve got 360 Joules of bite-me and I’m not afraid to use it.’”

Dan laughed a bit at the joke. By this time Steve had shown up and helped finish the truck check after also introducing himself to the student. Ethan gave Steve the shift-change form to turn in to their supervisor.

Ethan pointed out a spare radio panel in the back near the captain’s chair fixed to the floor at the head of the ambulance stretcher. He told Dan to turn it to their dispatch channel so Dan could hear the calls come in. “Our unit call sign for the night is ‘Medic 4.’ Lackawanna county does all the dispatching for Fire, Police, and EMS, but all on separate channels. You’ve only got the EMS radio back here but we can scan Fire and PD from the front seat if we want more information.”

“Go it,” Dan nodded.

“Okay, before we get going I’ve got four rules for you. One; if you don’t know, say so. For example, if you can’t get a blood pressure don’t make one up. It’s okay to say you don’t know. You’re still learning and that’s part of why you’re here. Two; jump in and do stuff. This is not the time to sit back and watch. This is where you get to use all the stuff you’ve been practicing in class. Make the most of it. Three; if you need something don’t hesitate to ask us. Need to stop at a gas station for a drink or to use the restroom? We won’t know unless you tell us. Four; your primary responsibility tonight is you. You come first, then your partners, then your patient. If something’s not safe, speak up, and get out. We can’t help anyone else out if we go down. Questions?”

Dan shook his head. “Not right now, but if I think of any I’ll let you know.”

Ethan nodded approvingly. “Sounds good.”

Stepping out of the back of the truck, Ethan walked around and climbed into the driver’s seat. Steve was back and was busy booting up the computer for the night.

“Ready to rock?” Steve asked.

Ethan grinned before giving the rejoinder the two had come up with long ago. “Let’s roll.” He picked up the mic for EMS dispatch and held to his mouth. “Pennsylvania Medic 4, Lackawanna dispatch.”

“Medic 4, go ahead,” came the voice from the dispatcher over the radio.

“Good evening Lackawanna, Medic 4, 10-8.”

“Medic 4 showing you available. Post 9 please. Time out 1812.”

“Post 9, 10-4.” Ethan put the ambulance in drive and pulled into the street. Post 9 was nothing more than a parking lot. According to the Lackawanna county EMS dispatch computer program there was a good chance a 911 call would be received near that area within the next half hour, so Medic 4 was being sent there to cut down on response time. The predicted location of calls would change throughout the night and ambulances would be sent to cover various other posts. Each ambulance had a GPS tracker that enabled the dispatch center to keep an eye on where they were when not dispatched to a call.

It was only a ten-minute drive from the station to the strip mall parking lot that was Post 9. Ethan parked behind a gas station before turning back to call back to Dan. “We’re at a gas station if you need anything!”

“I’m good!” Dan told him. As he was getting out of the truck, Ethan was very pleased to see Dan had pulled his EMT textbook out of his back pack and appeared to be studying the chapter on cardiology.

Grabbing a portable radio, which was basically a suped-up walkie-talkie, Ethan clipped it to his rear pocket and headed into the gas station. He was back soon after buying a one-liter bottle of Coke.

“Still going with the big bottles?” Steve asked.

“Saves on having a ton of small bottles roll around all night,” Ethan replied. Further conversation halted as the radio crackled to life.

“Lackawanna county to Pennsylvania Medic 4, report priority one.”

Ethan put his drink a cup holder before grabbing the mic again. “Medic 4, Lackawanna, go ahead.”

“Medic 4, priority one to 1000 Highnett Place, one-zero-zero-zero Highnett Place. Crosses of Olyphant and Washington. 26-year-old male, unresponsive. Near the parking lot of a baseball field. Off duty medic on scene reporting Class 1, CPR in progress, priority one.”

“Shit!” Steve swore.

Ethan also felt a sense of dread hit him. Not that he let that color his voice as he responded to dispatch. “Medic 4, 10-4, en route. Start Fire for manpower.”

“En route at 1830, starting Fire.” the dispatcher said to confirm the radio traffic.

Ethan put the truck into drive again and headed for the street. With the flip of a switch the red and white overhead lights came on and started to light up the evening sky. Another switch had the siren wailing. Ethan hit the airhorn a few times as he pulled out of the gas station. Traffic quickly came to stop as Medic 4 turned onto the street and accelerated in the direction of the ball field. The fire department radio sprang to life toning out the nearest Fire company to assist on the call. In this case Scranton Fire Engine 9.

“Did you hear all that?” Ethan had to yell back to Dan to be heard over the engine and siren.

“Yeah!”

“Good! What do you think we’ll need for the call?” Ethan was quizzing the student even as he dodged around cars that hadn’t pulled over to let them pass.

“Umm, the jump bag, the cot, and the monitor.”

“Good! We’ll also need the drug bag, but you can’t get that. What you can do is put on a pair of gloves, and get the jump bag, the monitor, and the portable suction on the cot. Grab an IV bag, two pink and two green IV needles, and a couple start kits. Put those on the cot too!
“If you take airway, I’ll get the patient on the monitor and prep for the IV,” Ethan told Steve.

Already Ethan was planning out how he was going to treat the patient. It was an unwritten rule that whichever medic drove to the call was responsible for running the call. Ethan knew it was important to assign clear roles.

“No problem,” Steve replied.

Ethan slowed down as they came up to a red light. Their company policy did allow them to go through a red light while running lights and sirens, provided they first stopped and made sure all other traffic had stopped too.

“Clear right,” Steve told Ethan indicating there was no on-coming traffic from his side of the street. Ethan didn’t see any cars coming from the left either so accelerated through the red light. The computer program had been right. Within three minutes of calling en route, Medic 4 was nearing the scene.

Ethan killed the siren as they turned onto Highnett Place. There wasn’t any traffic to clear out of the way and since it was a residential neighborhood it was courteous to kill the siren when not needed. They saw the ball field on the left side of the street and pulled into the parking lot. Glancing out of the widows Ethan saw two men and a woman kneeling over another still form laying on the ground. One of the men was bobbing up and down performing CPR, while the other man held a pocket mask to the face of the patient. An AED was already attached. Ethan hit the outside flood lights and positioned the ambulance so they would light up the scene since they were quickly losing daylight.

“Medic 4, on scene,” Ethan spoke into the mic before putting the truck in park. Without waiting to hear dispatch confirm his radio traffic he stepped out of the ambulance started walking to the back of the truck. He was putting on his medical gloves and grabbed his portable radio with well-practiced movements.

Dan had done a great job in getting the equipment ready as Steve opened the back doors to the truck. Ethan climbed in and unlocked the drug cabinet to grab the blue bag. He tossed it on the cot with the other supplies. After Dan stepped out, Ethan released the stretcher lock and pulled it from the truck, letting the undercarriage fall. Steve grabbed the other end and they started walking towards where their patient was laying.

“Kyle!” Ethan immediately recognized his co-worker as he grabbed the cardiac monitor, IV supplies, and drug bag off the cot. Steve had grabbed the jump bag and was starting to kneel next to the head of the young man lying on the ground. “What’s going on?”

“26-year-old, stuck in the chest with a baseball. Witnessed arrest. CPR started right away. AED’s shocked twice.”

“PLEASE HELP HIM!!” The young woman screamed at the group as Ethan kneeled down on the patient’s left side.

Ethan looked up at her. “We will ma’am. What’s your name?”

“Pam! His name’s Jim! Help him please!” she said through her tears.

“We’re going to do everything we can for him, alright?” Ethan kept his tone easy and calm. “Hold compressions!” he ordered. The other man stopped what he was doing, but kept his hands on Jim’s chest. Ethan pressed his fingers to Jim’s neck, trying to feel for a pulse. He didn’t feel one. “Resume compressions! Dan, pull the AED pads off and get ours on. Kyle, spike the IV bag please.”

Ethan’s orders were crisp and clear. He reached back for his portable radio. “Lackawanna county, Medic 4 portable.”

“Go ahead Medic 4.”

“Confirm Class 1, start the timer.”

“Confirm Class 1, timer started, Fire should be arriving momentarily.”

“10-4”

Ethan clipped his radio back into his back pocket and looked up. Sure, enough the red lights of Scranton Engine 9 were flickering as the Fire truck pulled in behind the ambulance and added its own spotlights to the scene.

“Pad’s on!” Dan reported. He'd removed the large stickers from the AED since they couldn’t attach to the monitor they’d brought off the truck. Tearing open their own pack of stickers, the student had placed them where the old one’s had been and connected them to a thick black wire leading to the monitor.

“Good job,” Ethan pulled the monitor close and turned it on. He switched the view so he could see what heart rhythm Jim was in. At first all he saw was an unidentifiable mess, due to the CPR compressions being performed. “Hold compressions!” He ordered again. “Dan get ready to take over compressions.” As the student positioned himself over Jim’s chest, Ethan got a clear look at Jim’s heart rhythm. It wasn’t good. In fact, it looked like a child had taken a marker and drawn a squiggly line across as sheet of paper rather than a clear organized heart-beat.

“V-fib! Charging! Resume compressions.” Ethan hit a yellow button on his monitor and a musical tone similar to when the AED had charged came out of a speaker on the bottom of the monitor. At the same time a status bar was shown on the screen indicating the level of charge being built up. Dan had started pushing on Jim’s chest again. A few seconds later the status bar was full and a loud pulsating noise came out of the monitor.

Ethan held his finger over a red button on the monitor. “Clear!” He glanced up and down and saw no one was touching his patient. He pressed the red button and 360 joules of electricity flowed from one of the pads on Jim’s chest to the other. The force of the electric shock caused Jim’s torso to jump from the ground for an instant.

 Just like you see on TV, Ethan mused for a second before looking at his watch and calling out more orders. “Resume compressions. Lieutenant,” he said addressing the officer of the responding engine company. “Have one of your guys get ready to assist my partner with airway please. The other guys get ready to take over compressions in two minutes.”

Trusting they would get their tasks done Ethan opened his IV start kit. He took out his trauma sheers and cut open the long sleeve of his patient past the elbow. He tore a few strips of tape off the roll on his pant leg and set them on his monitor where he could get to them quickly.  Tying an elastic band around the bicep he started looking for a good vein. He was rewarded by the sight of a large blood vessel popping out just below his patients left elbow. Ethan quickly sanitized the site and grabbed one of his green IV needles. The 18-gauge needle being larger than the other one’s he’d brought and thus able to get medications and fluid into his patient quicker.

“IV’s spiked and ready,” Kyle reported as Ethan inserted the needle into the vein. Almost immediately he saw a return of blood in the plastic chamber of the needle and knew he had a good start. Ethan pushed hard on the blood vessel above where he started his IV and retracted the needle leaving the plastic IV tube in place. He put the IV spent needle in a sharps container and reached up to attach the IV line and open the roller clamp. Normal saline started flowing easily into Jim’s arm. It was the work of a few seconds to tape down the site so it wouldn’t come undone.

“IV’s in!” Ethan reported and reached over to the monitor to time stamp the event.

“Tube’s in too!” Steve reported. While Ethan had been starting the IV, Steve had inserted a breathing tube into Jim’s windpipe. One of the firefighters had attached a large plastic bag to the tube. Every time the bag was squeezed, air was pushed down the tube and into Jim’s lungs. Steve took out his stethoscope and listened to the sound of air rushing in and out of Jim’s chest, confirming he had good tube placement. Steve taped the tube in place so it wouldn’t become dislodged. Ethan logged the event on the monitor and checked his watch.

“15 seconds to switch!” He called out. A firefighter kneeled down on the opposite side of Jim’s chest from where Dan had been performing chest compressions. Ethan counted down the final seconds. “Five...four...three...two...one...hold compressions!”

Ethan put his fingers back on Jim’s neck and looked at his monitor screen. Nothing had changed. “No pulse, still in V-Fib. Charging! Resume compressions.”

The monitor built up another charge as the firefighter knelt to take his two-minute turn performing chest compressions. He only paused to let Ethan send another shock of electricity through Jim’s chest.

Ethan was giving out more instructions while he was popping the drug bag seal. “Dan, go help Steve with airway. Forget about the 30-2 cycle of compressions and respirations now that we have an advanced airway in place. I want one breath every 6 seconds. Steve hook up capnography please. Lieutenant, could you talk to Pam and get patient info please?”

Reaching into the bag, Ethan pulled out a yellow box that read ‘Epinephrine 1mg/10ml 1;10,000’ He opened the box and confirmed the medication wasn’t expired before quickly assembling the two halves of the pre-loaded syringe. He twisted the syringe onto his IV line and pushed in the medication. He then grabbed a packet of electrode stickers and put them on black, white, red, and green cables so he could have a clearer picture of Jim’s heart. One view from the big stickers was okay for the short term, but the multiple views offered by the four leads he put on Jim’s arms and legs offered a much better view of cardiac activity.

“Epi’s in!” he reported while logging it on the monitor. Steve had also hooked capnography up to the breathing tube. The instrument would measure how much carbon dioxide Jim was exhaling. Since Jim wasn’t breathing on his own Ethan expected the number to be low and sure enough the monitor read ‘10mm/Mg.’

Another glance at Ethan’s watch showed that they still had a minute to wait before they would pause to re-check Jim’s heart rhythm and pulse again. He was about to reach for the open IV bag to use to collect the grown pile of trash when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Pam had knelt down next to him.

Ethan had seen that look before. The look of someone who was scared, confused, and didn’t know what to do. Gently he put his own hand on hers. “Right now, Jim’s heart isn’t beating. It’s kind of quivering, but since it’s doing that it can’t pump any blood which is why he isn't breathing either. Those shocks you’ve seen us give are us trying to reset his heart to a normal rhythm. We’ve also put a tube down his trachea and are breathing for him. The medicine I just gave is basically artificial adrenaline to make our chest compressions work better and get more blood to his brain.”

“Can’t you take him to the hospital?” Pam sniffed.

“There’s nothing a hospital can do that we can’t do right here, right now. The best chance he has right now is for us to not move him so we can do better chest compressions.” Ethan looked at his watch again. “Speaking of which, 10 seconds to switch!”

Another firefighter knelt down to take over compressions as Ethan repeated his count down. “Five...four...three...two...one...hold compressions!” Again, Ethan checked for a pulse and looked at the monitor.

“Still in V-Fib! Charging! Resume compressions.” After another shock was delivered, Ethan reached into a different compartment in his drug bag and pulled out a small vial. He also grabbed a syringe and a needle to draw the medicine from the vial into his syringe.

“300 milligrams of Amiodarone, going in!” The medication was time stamped on the monitor. A glance at the capnography level showed it had also stayed the same.

Kneeling next to Jim’s side, Ethan glanced up and down to ensure everything was going to plan. The firefighters were performing chest compressions well and Steve had also attached an oxygen tank to the bag being used to breathe for Jim. The two-minute countdown came again, and again nothing had changed. Another charge of electricity was sent through Jim’s chest and another firefighter resumed compressions. Ethan picked up a second vial of Epinephrine and pushed it into the IV line.

“Lackawanna county to Pennsylvania Medic 4 portable.”

Ethan grabbed the radio from his back pocket. “Medic 4 portable, go ahead.”

“10-minute timer.”

“Copy 10 minutes.”

“What does that mean?” Pam looked over at Ethan again.

Ethan sighed before answering. “When we respond to a cardiac arrest we have to work the arrest for 30 minutes without stopping. After 30 minutes I have to call a hospital and talk to a doctor to see if they want me to keep working, transport the patient to the ER, or just stop.”

“Don’t stop! Please don’t stop! You can’t!” Pam had latched onto Ethan’s arm.

He gently pried her fingers off. “That was only the ten-minute mark. We will and still are doing everything we can. I’m going to need my arm back though so I can help him, okay?”

A glance at his watch showed it was almost time to call out for a new person to take their turn performing chest compressions. A quick flash from the monitor though caught Ethan’s eye. The capnography number had changed. It was now reading, ‘20mm/Mg.’

Maybe we got this one. Ethan looked down at his watch again. “10 seconds to switch! Nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one...hold compressions.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Pam had never been so scared. She had been frozen as she watched Jim collapse on her. All she could do was sit back and watch as first the baseball coaches had started CPR. For a brief moment, when she’d first heard the ambulance siren, she’d dared to hope. After all, on TV it was always the same. The doctors or paramedics would arrive, push on the person’s chest a few times and then yell out, ‘clear!’ The person would jump up from the shock, cough a few times, then open their eyes. This wasn’t like anything she’d seen on TV. She’d had to watch as electricity coursed through Jim’s body time and again. Each time he didn’t wake up was like a punch in her gut.

The paramedics hadn’t acted like she thought they would either. In the movies they were always running around and screaming. The crew in front of her had calmly walked from their ambulance to Jim’s side. They never yelled, just talked loud enough to be heard. They did a lot more than TV ever showed. She hadn’t even known paramedics could do some of the things she’d seen them do just now. They'd even taken the time to ask her name and answer her questions even while trying to save Jim’s life. As they worked on Jim, it was as if she could feel her own heart start to freeze over. In the end she’d just knelt down next to one of the paramedics and watched. Nothing like this had ever happened to her before.

One of the firefighters had come up to her and asked about Jim’s personal information. She game them his name, birthday, and address as best she could remember. The firefighter wrote it all down on a clipboard and returned to a spot a few steps away to keep an eye on the rest of the engine company.

It wasn’t till they were preparing the seventh shock Jim would have received that something changed. One of the paramedics had looked at his screen while they were still pushing on Jim’s chest. To Pam, the readouts meant nothing. All she saw were a bunch of lines scrolling across the screen and number’s she didn’t understand. But to the paramedic there must have been something he saw. When they paused he used both hands to check for a pulse rather than just one. It was then that he said the words that cracked the ice around her heart.

“We’ve got pulses back.”

Once again Ethan put his gloved fingers on Jim’s neck. This time, with his other hand he also put his fingers on Jim’s upturned wrist. It was weak, but it was there, a heartbeat. The rhythm on the monitor had changed as well. Rather than the scribble of Ventricular Fibrillation, he saw Normal Sinus Rhythm scrolling across the screen.

Hell yeah! Chalk one up for the good guys! Outwardly Ethan kept his cool. Inwardly he felt a bubble of pride build up in his chest. It was moments like these that re-affirmed how much he loved his job.

“We’ve got pulses back,” Ethan announced calmly before starting to issue a new set of instructions. “Lieutenant, could you grab a back board and some straps. Steve, prep for a 12 lead.” Ethan pulled his radio out from his back pocket. “Pennsylvania Medic 4 portable, Lackawana dispatch.”

“Lackawana, Medic 4 go ahead.”

“We’ve got ROSC. Inform Geisinger we’ll being coming in Post-Class 1”

“ROSC at 1843, informing Geisinger,” dispatch confirmed.

The young woman at Ethan’s side was looking frantically back and forth between Jim and Ethan. Glancing at her, Ethan saw a fringe of hope in her eyes. “What does that mean? ROSC? Is he going to be okay?”

“ROSC means return of spontaneous circulation.” Ethan talked while he worked. Steve had handed him another set of six electrodes and he was putting them on Jim’s chest. He glanced at Pam and couldn’t help a small grin form on his face. “His heart’s beating again. Right now, we’re going to take a quick picture of his heart. After that the fire department will help us get him on our cot and into the truck. Then we’ll get him to the hospital. He’s not out of the woods, but he’s a lot better. Do you know if he has any major medical conditions, allergies, or takes any medications every day?”

“I don’t think so,” Pam replied.

“Okay, thanks.” Ethan saw something in Jim’s pocket. He dug out a cell phone and handed it to her. “Kyle told me you don’t have your phone on you. Here’s his, maybe you can start calling people. We’re almost ready to go.”

He saw her sit back on her heels after his brief explanation. The 12 lead ECG readout showed nothing abnormal and by then the Fire Lieutenant had arrived with the backboard. As a team they rolled Jim onto his side and slid the board under him to use a litter to carry him to the ambulance cot. Making sure none of their cords were tangled they strapped him down and carried him the short distance to the stretcher and buckled him in with the seat belts.

“Can I come with you?” Pam’s small voice cut through the scene.

“Yes, but you’ll have to ride up in the front seat,” Ethan told her kindly. “We need room to work in the back on the way to the hospital.” Ethan asked one of the firefighters to show her to the cab of the ambulance. Pam nodded and let herself be escorted to the front of the truck.

Dan kept squeezing the bag that was attached to the breathing tube as they loaded Jim into the back of the ambulance. The student sat down in the captain's chair at the head of the cot while Ethan and a firefighter climbed in and sat on the bench seat running parallel to the cot. Ethan wrapped the automatic blood pressure cuff around Jim’s upper arm and set it to take a blood pressure every five minutes. Jim’s heart rhythm had stayed the same while they were loading him into the ambulance. A quick check of his pulse found it was strong and regular. Jim still hadn’t tried to breathe on his own though so Ethan knew his patient was in critical condition.

“All set! Let’s go! I’ll take a channel right away!” Ethan shouted up as Steve climbed into the driver’s seat. Medic 4’s siren split the night as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“What else can we do?” Dan asked from his perch.

“Right now, you’ve got the most important task,” Ethan told him while he pulled a glucometer out of his jump bag to check Jim’s blood sugar. Ethan pointed to the capnography number on the monitor which was currently reading 36mm/MG. “If that number falls below 35 squeeze a little slower, if it gets above 45, squeeze faster. Anything between those two numbers is fine.”

“Geisinger’s on Med 7!” Steve shouted over the siren from the front seat.

“Thank you!” Ethan had poked Jim’s finger with a small lancet and had a blood sugar reading of 127. Perfectly fine for a normally healthy adult. Ethan stood up and grabbed a bar bolted to the ceiling. He turned one of the radios on the wall of the ambulance to Med channel 7 and picked up the mic.

“Pennsylvania Medic 4 to Geisinger ED on Med 7, how do you copy?”

“Loud and clear Medic 4, go ahead.” Ethan knew there was a nurse on the other end of the radio waiting to write down the report he was able to deliver so he spoke clearly, but urgently.

“Medic 4 inbound to your facility priority one with a 26-year-old male patient post Class 1. On arrival CPR was being performed and bystanders had shocked twice with an AED. Patient was in V-fib on arrival, pulseless and apneic. CPR continued throughout. IV established and patient is intubated with good capnography. Patient’s had two of epi and three hundred of amiodarone. Patient’s been shocked a total of six times. We do have pulses back with normal sinus on the monitor at 98. Blood pressure 116 over 76. Capnography reading at 38. Patient is still apneic so we are breathing for him at about 18 a minute. Pulse ox of 98% with high flow O2. Sugar came back at 127. Patient is still unresponsive. Unless you have any questions, we’ll be at your door in about five minutes.”

The nurse on the other end of the radio came back on the air right away. “No questions at this time, keep us updated of any changes. You’re going to room two on arrival. Geisinger clear.”

“Room two on arrival,” Ethan parroted back to confirm he’d heard their instructions. “Medic 4 clear.” He hung up the mic before shouting up to Steve again. “Clear Med 7, we’re going to room two!”

While there had been a flurry of activity on scene, the trip to the hospital was comparatively uneventful. Dan kept squeezing the bag while Ethan and the firefighter, riding with them, kept a close eye on Jim’s vital signs. Steve cut the siren as they pulled into the parking lot of Geisinger hospital. Shortly thereafter they were parked in the ambulance bay and Steve had come around to open the back doors. They kept Jim attached to their heart monitor as they wheeled him inside. On the way through the ER doors, Ethan handed the sheet of paper the fire department had written Jim's personal information on to a hospital staffer to get him registered as a hospital patient.

A team consisting of the attending ER doctor, several nurses, and techs were waiting for them as they wheeled Jim into the trauma room. Ethan began speaking loudly to give another report to the assembled team since most of them probably had not heard his earlier radio traffic. While he was talking they were disconnecting Jim from the ambulance equipment in order to move him from the stretcher to the hospital bed.

“Hello everybody!” Ethan tried to keep his tone light, despite the serious situation. “This is Jim, coming from a baseball field parking lot. 26-years old and was struck in the chest by a baseball. Became unresponsive. Off-duty medic started CPR right away and shocked twice with an AED before we got there. We shocked him four more times. He’s had two of epinephrine and three hundred of amiodarone. Got ROSC and did a twelve lead that was unremarkable. Good tube with capnography confirming placement. Pulses have been good while transporting. Normal sinus around 99, last blood pressure was 122 over 84, still not really breathing on his own, sugar was 127. No known history, meds, or allergies.”

By the time Ethan had finished his report some of the nurses and techs had moved Jim over to the hospital bed by using the backboard. The breathing tube had been attached to a mechanical ventilator and Jim was now on a heart monitor again. Steve had pulled their cot and equipment out of the room leaving more space for the ER staff to work.

The doctor had been standing to one side letting the staff perform their tasks while listening to Ethan’s report. “How long was he down for?”

Ethan pulled his pager off his hip. Dispatch had sent him a page consisting of the times Medic 4 had been dispatched, called en route, arrived at the scene, started transporting, and when they arrived at the hospital. He had also written down his ROSC time on the back of his glove. Comparing the two he was able to get a rough estimate. “We got ROSC at 1843, had an about three-minute response time so high end, he was down for about 15 minutes. Need anything else?”

The doctor nodded and took out a pen to sign the half sheet of paper Ethan was holding. Local protocol allowed paramedics to administer medications without having to first call for permission, but a doctor did have to sign for them once they arrived at the ER.

“I don’t think so. Stong work,” the doctor told Ethan. It was one of the highest compliments given within the First Responder and Emergency Department community.

Ethan nodded in satisfaction and left the trauma room. He walked over to a nearby counter and finally let himself take a deep breath as he peeled off his gloves and threw them away. His head came to rest on the counter and he took his hat off to find his hair slick with sweat. It like this with any high stress call for him. Two years of training and eight years of working on an ambulance had trained Ethan to control his own flight or fight response while on scene. However, the adrenaline was still there and it hit him now that he’d turned his patient over to the ER staff. He took a few more deep breaths to get his own racing heart under control.

“Fuck yeah!” Ethan let out under his breath and through gritted teeth as he pounded the empty counter.

“Is everything alright?” A feminine voice behind him drew his attention. Turning he saw Pam sitting on a couch opposite the trauma room.

“Yeah, sorry. It just feels good to get on in the win column.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Ethan put his hat back on and stepped over towards her. “I’m sure you’ve seen paramedics responding to things like this on TV or in the movies, right? An ambulance shows up, they push on the patient's chest and maybe zap them with the paddles and they wake up.” He waited a beat while Pam nodded. “Most of the time it doesn’t work like that. The majority of cardiac arrest calls end up with us having to call a doctor for a time of death. Not this time, though. We did it right and now he’s got a good chance.”
He saw there was still some fear on her face. He jerked a thumb back at Jim’s room. “He’s in really good hands in there.”

Pam had been fiddling with Jim’s phone while she sat. “Thanks.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know what happened. How could getting hit by a baseball cause all that to happen?”

Ethan nodded. “Yeah, it’s kind of rare. It’s called commito cordis, to use the medical term. I’ll spare you the real nitty gritty details, but basically there’s a really small time during any heartbeat that the heart is kind of vulnerable. A person’s heartbeat is caused by electrical current setting and resetting, that causes the heart muscles to contract and relax and pump blood. That vulnerable time is when the heart is re-setting. It only lasts for a few milliseconds though.”

“Oh,” Pam said quietly. “So, Jim just got really unlucky then?”

Sitting down next to her, Ethan couldn’t help but notice it was good to get off his feet for a second or two. “Unlucky that it happened maybe, but he was very lucky that it happened where it did. Kyle, the guy who was there first, I work with him. He started CPR right away and there was an AED really close too. We were also only a few minutes away and got to his side pretty fast. You hear on TV all the time that seconds matter, right? In this case that was true. Everything went right and as a result we were able to reset Jim’s heart and it started beating again on its own. It’s called the cardiac chain of survival and all the links in that chain fell into place tonight.”

Pam nodded. “Just before you said you felt his pulse again you used both hands to check his pulse. Before that you only used one. How come?”

“We put a device on the breathing tube to measure how much carbon dioxide was being exhaled. It’s called capnography. I saw that number jump up, which usually means the heart is beating again and blood is flowing better. It’s kind of a new tool, but it works great. When I saw that number go up I thought his heart might have started again and I wanted to feel for a pulse at two separate places.”

“Would have happened if none of that had been there? The AED or people starting CPR right away I mean.” Pam looked down at her shoes.

“Hey,” Ethan said with a bit of a warning tone. “Don’t go thinking about stuff like that. I think you know the answer to that question. The important thing is, everything worked right. Trust me, I’ve been on a lot of cardiac arrest calls that didn’t go nearly as smooth as this one. Overweight people who fell in the back bathroom of a house that hadn’t been cleaned in years. They were stuck between the wall and the toilet. That call sucked let me tell you. We never had a chance. We had a great chance tonight with Jim and it worked out. Remember that.”

“I just wish I could have done something more,” Pam told him.

Ethan dug a card out of his wallet. “This is the info for the local American Heart Association training group. They do a great job teaching CPR classes that include how to use an AED. Check it out. The more people who know how to do CPR and use an AED, the more lives we can save.”

“Thanks, I will,” Pam nodded again at the card before she looked up at him. “What was your name again?”

“Ethan Wilcox.”

Pam leaned forward and threw her arms around him. Ethan was momentarily shocked. This didn’t happen very often. “Thank you.” Pam whispered into his shoulder.

A smile formed on Ethan’s face and he quickly returned the hug. “You’re welcome. I’m glad we were able to help him. You must love him a lot to care so much.”

To Ethan it felt like Pam stiffened up at his last comment. She didn’t respond either. Rather she let go of him and looked down at her shoes before resuming her vigil of the trauma room door. The registration clerk who had put Jim’s name and information into the hospital computer system was back. She gave Ethan a copy of Jim’s information that he would need to turn in with his paperwork at the end of the shift. He got up and left Pam on the bench.

A short distance away Steve and Dan were resetting their equipment. Steve was quizzing the student as they worked. He’d already turned in their used drug bag for a fresh one.

“What were the potential hazards we could have faced on that call?”

Dan thought about it for a second. “I didn’t think there were any.”

“There are always potential hazards on any call,” Steve explained. “Someone could have been touching the patient when we shocked him for example, then we would have had two patients instead of one. Also, you never know what bystanders are going to do. Sometimes they’re calm. Other times, like this time, they can get scared. Remember that just because your shirt says EMT and you show up in an ambulance, that doesn’t mean people are going to remember it. To many people you’re not an EMT, you’re a uniform and that makes you a target.”

“What else did you learn on that call?” Ethan asked.

“Ummm,” Dan stalled for a second. “I learned how to ventilate a patient better.”

“Good. You can learn something new on every call. C'mon. We need to get back in service.”

The trio wheeled the stretcher back out to their ambulance and stowed it in the back. Taking supplies out of the cabinets, they replaced the equipment they’d used from the jump bag during the call. In short order Medic 4 was ready to roll again.

Dan took his seat in the back while Steve and Ethan climbed into the front seats. Steve was back in the driver’s seat like he had been on the way to the hospital. Ethan pulled the laptop to him to start typing up the report that needed to be filed.

“Pennsylvania Medic 4, Lackawana Dispatch,” Steve said into the radio mic.

“Medic 4, go ahead.”

“Clear Geisinger and available.”

“10-4 Medic 4, we have a priority three call holding for you. 575 North River Street, five seven five North River. Outside the ER entrance to Commonwealth General. 46-year-old female patient requesting an ambulance to take her to Geisinger. Says the wait time at Commonwealth for her toe pain was too long. Priority three.”

At almost the same time Steve and Ethan hung their heads as the dispatch info squawked out of the radio. Dan piped up from the back. “Are they serious?”

“10-4 Lackawana, Medic 4 en route.”

“Medic 4 showing you en route at 1922.”

From life-savers to taxi cab in one fell swoop, Ethan thought to himself as he looked over at his partner. A wry smile was on both of their faces. Steve pulled out of the ambulance bay. Just another typical shift.

You must love him a lot to care so much.

The words kept bouncing around in Pam’s mind as she sat outside the ER room. A curtain had been drawn across the doorway so she wasn’t able to see what was going on in the room. She didn’t understand most of the medical jargon coming out of the room anyway. She kept turning Jim’s cell phone over in her hands while her mind went a mile a minute, even as tears threatened to fall.

That paramedic must have thought we were together. Why would he think that? Maybe because I was leaning over them begging them to help Jim. Please be okay Jim! I can’t be in love with Jim. At least not like that. Jim’s like a brother. Like the best brother I could ever have. I can love him like a brother. I’m in love love with Roy. I’ve loved Roy since high school. I’m engaged to Roy. The same Roy who left me to be with his brother. Now that I think about it, who goes to the lake to use wave runners in April? The water’s probably still freezing and I know neither Roy or Kenny have wetsuits. Did he just not want me around? Then again Jim didn’t call me to say we had the day off either. That kinda sucked. See? Jim’s not perfect either.

Jim!! Why won’t that damn doctor come out here and tell me what’s going on? Anything’s better than just sitting here waiting. What else did that paramedic say? Oh yeah, start calling people. But who? His parents? Yeah that would go over well. ‘Hi I’m Jim’s co-worker Pam. You’ve never met me before but your son is almost dead.’ Wait a minute. I could call Larissa. Then she could call everyone.

Pam looked down and flipped open the black phone in her hand. Scrolling through the contact list she found Larissa’s number and placed the call. She brought the phone to her ear as it started ringing. Larissa answered on the third ring.

“Hey Jim,” Larissa answered cheerfully.

Pam felt her throat start to tighten and she struggled to speak. “H-hey Larissa. It’s...Pam.”

Instantly Larissa’s voice changed into one of concern as she heard Pam’s voice breaking. “Pam? What’s going on? Why are you calling from Jim’s phone? Is everything okay?”

Even though she knew Larissa couldn’t see her, Pam still shook her head. “No!” The word came out with a sob. “Jim’s in the emergency room right now!”

“What! What happened? Actually, forget it. Just tell me what hospital and I’m on my way.”

“Geisinger,” was all Pam was able to choke out.

“Okay, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Okay.” Pam croaked. She ended the call and the tears that had been threatening now fell hard. She buried her face in her hands as she sat in hallway. She stayed in that position until a familiar voice hailed her from the doors leading to the waiting room.

“Pam!”

Looking up, Pam saw that Larissa quickly walking towards her. Fear and anxiety clearly written on her face. Pam tried getting up meet her, but her legs wouldn’t support her. “I’m so glad you’re here. I didn’t know who else to call.”

“You don’t have to get up,” Larissa told her as she settled down on the bench next to Pam and threw her arm around Pam’s shoulder. “What happened? The lady at the desk out there couldn’t tell me anything. I had to show her my driver’s license just to prove Jim and I are related before they let me back here.”

The simple act of friendship Larissa had just shown her was enough to loosen the belt that Pam felt sure was wrapped around her throat. She wiped the tears off her cheeks and took a few deep breaths before starting to talk. “After the movie, Jim and I were heading back to my place so he could drop me off. We ended up walking through my old college, but because they’re really strict about who can park where, I told him to park near a little league baseball field. We were coming back to the car when a ball came over the fence and hit him in the middle of his chest.
“The paramedic said it hit him at a really bad time in his heart beat cycle and made his heart stop beating normally. Jim’s eyes just rolled back in his head and he fell to the ground.”

Pam’s eyes had been focused on the curtain obscuring her from seeing Jim while she talked. Now, however she looked back at Larissa. “I just started screaming for help. There were two baseball coaches and they ran over. One started CPR, just like you see on TV, right? The other one called 911. They had this little machine they pulled off the wall. It zapped Jim, again kind of like you see on TV. Then the ambulance and a fire truck showed up and they started working on him.”

The hold Larissa had on Pam’s shoulder grew tighter as she listened to Pam. “But he’s okay now right? They got him, here right?”

Pam nodded. “Yeah, I mean, kinda, I don’t know. The paramedics kept doing CPR and put in breathing tube. They started an IV, and gave Jim some medicines too. They shocked him a few more times. I was so scared Larissa.  While they were working on him, it was like I was just frozen, you know? But then when they said they could feel his pulse again? It was like the ice was cracking.
“He still hasn’t woken up though and I don’t know what they’re doing in there now. The doctor’s still in there and no one’s telling me anything.”

Larissa shifted her grip and had started rubbing Pam’s back. “Holy shit,” was all Larissa was able to whisper.

The sound of the curtain being drawn back caused both of them to look up. A doctor in black scrubs was peeling off his exam gloves and walking across the hall towards them. He was followed by several other members of the ER staff who were heading towards various desks. “Are you here with Jim?”

Finally, Pam felt strength in her legs return and she and Larissa stood up. “What’s going on? How’s he doing?”

“I’m Doctor Smith,” the doctor said by way of introduction. “Jim’s stable right now, and his heart is beating strongly.”

Relief coursed through Pam’s body at the doctor’s words. “Is he going to be okay? The paramedic said it was kind of rare what happened to him.”

“Smart medic,” Doctor Smith told her. “It is rare. Jim was very lucky that CPR was started so soon and there was an AED available right away. Most people who have something like this happen to them don’t survive unfortunately. The medics also got there very fast. All those things combined made it so that Jim should make a full recovery.”

Pam felt her legs buckle again, this time in sheer relief. She wrapped her arms around herself as she felt Larissa sit next to her. “So, what happens now?”

“We’re going to send Jim up to the ICU once we’re confident he’s stable enough to be moved up there. The respiratory therapist is keeping a close eye on him right now. She’s hopeful that he’ll start breathing on his own again soon. We might be able to take the breathing tube out before he goes upstairs,” Doctor Smith answered.

“When will he wake up?” Larissa asked.

“It’s hard to say,” the doctor replied. “Sometimes post-cardiac arrest patients wake up quickly, other times it might take a day or two. For now, he’s out of the woods. We’ll keep a close eye on him. If you have any other friends or family coming it might be a good idea to send them to the ICU rather than the ER though. The waiting room is a lot more comfortable up there anyway.”

“Thank you doctor,” Pam told him.

“One more thing,” Larissa chimed in. “Can we go in and see him now?”

“For a little bit. Like I said the respiratory therapist is still in there. Just stay out of her way please.”

“Not a problem,” Larissa said. “Thank you so much.” She turned to Pam as the doctor walked away. “Shall we?”

Wordlessly Pam stood up and took hold of the hand Larissa had held out to her. They walked across the hall, moved the curtain aside, and entered the room. To Pam, Jim looked much the same as when he had been wheeled into the trauma room. The main difference was that instead of the torn tee shirt he had come in wearing, Jim was now wearing a general hospital gown. Various wires led to a heart monitor and IV fluids slowly dripped into his arm. White plastic tubing snaked from the breathing tube to a ventilator near Jim’s head.

The respiratory therapist keeping an eye on the ventilator looked up at the two women as they entered. Her name tag identified her as Becky. “Are you family?” she asked.

“I...uh,” Pam didn’t know how to answer the question. Fortunately, Larissa saw the predicament and piped up.

“Yes, both of us,” she answered the therapist. “Easier to avoid questions by saying that,” she whispered into Pam’s ear.

“Okay,” Becky replied. “It looks like Jim’s been trying to breathe on his own so I was just about to pause the ventilator and see how he’ll do.”

“Are you going to take the breathing tube out too?” Pam asked.

Becky shook her head. “Not right away. If he’s not breathing strongly, the doctor will probably recommend we sedate him and put him back on the ventilator. We’d still want the breathing tube in place if that happens.”

Pam and Larissa didn’t say anything in reply, just nodded. Becky hit a button on the ventilator to pause the mechanical breathing and reached over to disconnect the tubing from the top of the breathing tube. A few alarms started sounding from the ventilator, but Becky quickly silenced them. Becky kept a careful eye on Jim for the next few minutes. She used a stethoscope to listen to Jim’s lung sounds.

“96 percent and holding, that’s good,” Becky said to herself as she made the notation in Jim’s chart.

“96 percent of what?” Larissa asked.

“His pulse ox,” Becky answered. “It’s a measurement of how much the hemoglobin in Jim’s blood is saturated with oxygen. In general, anything over 95 percent is pretty good.”

“So, you’ll be taking the tube out now?” Pam asked.

“Like I said, it’s still too early,” Becky repeated. “If his pulse ox and vitals hold steady for another fifteen minutes or so, then we can talk about taking the tube out before we send him up to the ICU. That would make it a lot easier when we bring him up there as well as for when he’s actually in the ICU bed.”

“So, I’d have time to call the rest of my family then?” Larissa put in.

Becky nodded. “I don’t see why not.”

Larissa excused herself before she ducked out of the room to find a quiet place to start calling the rest of the Halpert clan. Pam took a few hesitant steps forward until she was standing at Jim’s bedside. The last time she’d been this close to him was when he was collapsing on her in the baseball field parking lot. Her eye’s noted that the pale color his skin had been at the time was gone, replaced instead by its usual warm tones. For all intents and purposes, he could have simply been asleep. Cautiously she reached out and took his hand as her thoughts started running again.

You’ve got to wake up Jim. We’ve got more pranks to pull. I still can’t believe you got Dwight to agree to an alliance. It would have been so great to see if Dwight would have actually dyed his hair. Then Roy had to barge in like that. Like I would ever cheat on him or you would ever try to take advantage of me like that. He should know that by now. It’s like what he said yesterday. Sleep in the car my ass! Where the hell does he come up with that kind of crap? Not like you Jim. You’ve never said anything like that to me. You’ve always been there for me. I never thought my best friend would be a guy, let alone a guy as great as you. This is just the time when I need you the most. I don’t know what to do or think.

Pam brought his hand to her face and half whispered, half cried into it. “Please Jim, wake up!”

She stayed where standing at Jim’s side as she kept her silence. Her eyes were still stinging from the tears that had welled up. She went to wipe her cheeks but missed and a lone tear fell from her face. It landed on Jim’s hand. Pam reached out to wipe it off, when she felt something new. Jim’s fingers had curled around hers and the grip was only getting stronger. Pam didn’t know what to say or do. She only tightened her own grip on Jim’s hand. Her eyes darted to his, but they stayed closed. Still it was a good sign.

The sound of the curtain being drawn back caused Pam to look over her shoulder. Larissa was back.

“I was able to get ahold of our parents and tell them what’s going on. They should be here soon. Couldn’t reach our brothers though. I'll try again later.” Larissa told Pam.

“Well at least that’s good news,” Pam said as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. Her next words came out almost in a whisper. “Jim’s squeezing my hand.”

Larissa’s eyes grew wide as she looked down at where Jim and Pam’s hands were joined. She walked over to Jim’s side and gently put her hand on his shoulder. “Jim?” She said softly. “If you’re there, know we’re here too.”

Pam and Larissa looked carefully at Jim for any sign of response. The only thing that changed was that Jim’s hand relaxed and fell limply onto the mattress of his bed. They looked up at Becky who had missed the small exchange.

“He gripped her hand,” Larissa said.

Becky looked up from her notes at the pair for a second before checking the various monitors around the room. “That’s good news,” she said. “But remember he’s had a very serious shock to his system. It could still be hours before he wakes up.”

“Isn’t there anything else you can do?” Larissa asked.

Becky shook her head. “Not right now, I’m sorry. We’ll be moving him soon and we’ll need space for that. I’m sorry to ask this of you, but I’ll need you to leave the room.”

Wordlessly Larissa nodded. She looked over to where Pam was standing still next to her. “C’mon Pam,” she said gently while putting her hands-on Pam’s shoulders. “Let’s give her room to work.”

Pam was about to resume her seat on the bench across from Jim’s room but Larrissa started guiding her towards the main Emergency Room waiting room. “I told our parents to meet us at the ICU so I think that’s where we should head too. I’m not sure how to get there from here, but if we ask at the desk, I’d be willing to bet they can tell us how to get there.”

Pam nodded and let Larissa guide her to the waiting room. The nurse at the ER desk gave them directions to the ICU and a few minutes later they were taking new seats in the much larger and more comfortable waiting room. They checked in with the woman at the ICU desk and were assured they’d be told when Jim was in his new room. Until then all they could do was wait.

“Long day huh?” Larissa said as they got settled into a couch.

“Yeah,” Pam replied.

“Hey,” Larissa leaned over and put her hand on Pam’s shoulder again. “How are you doing?”

“I...I...I don’t know,” Pam said as she felt her head droop.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Pam looked up and saw the look of concern and friendship she’d seen so often in Jim’s eyes coming from Larissa’s. It made her turn her head back down to her shoes. “I just...Jim’s my best friend. I don’t have any brothers, but he’s the closest thing I have to one. When my fiancé bailed Jim was there. Didn’t even think about it, just was there. You too for that matter. I just don’t know what to think.”

“Don’t know what to think about what?”

Pam’s head came back up at Larissa’s gentle question. “How I feel about having a fiancé that I’ve been with since high school, the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, but seems like wants to hang out with his brother more than me. That, against the best friend I’ve ever had, who’s literally fighting for his life right now. It’s all just bouncing around and I don’t know what to think or feel. Sitting here thinking about all that after everything that happened tonight isn’t helping either.” Reaching out, Pam put a hand on Larissa’s lap. “I know you’re a counselor and all, but really all I want right now is a friend, not a fix.”

“Of course.” Larissa patted Pam’s hand. “Want to hear a funny story about Jim?”

For the first time in hours, the corners of Pam’s mouth crept up in a small smile. “Sure.”

“Okay,” Larissa began and she settled into her seat on the couch. “So, this is a story Jim hates me telling without him around. Though between you and me I don’t think he’s as mad about it as he sometimes lets on. It was back when we were in high school. I don’t know if Jim ever told you or not, but he was the captain of the basketball team his senior year. That was back when I was a sophomore. You’d think he wouldn’t have had any problem getting a date or anything, but no not my big brother. The last half of his senior year he wouldn’t look at any girl at our school. Noble sot that he is, he ended up taking me to prom that year, all because of this mystery girl he was still infatuated with.”

“Wait a sec,” Pam cut in. “Is this the story about how Jim met a girl who didn’t go to his school, but he only talked to her twice and then never again?”

“Awww,” Larissa pouted. “He’s already told you?”

“Yeah, actually just before all this happened. It was when we were walking back to his car.” Suddenly Pam bolted up in her seat. “Oh shoot! Jim’s car! It’s still at the baseball field!”

“Tell you what, when my folks show up, I can drive you back over to the field, you can drive Jim’s car back to his place, and then we can come back here.”

Pam nodded before slumping back down on the couch. “That sounds good. Maybe I’ll just have you take me home. I’m starting to get tired.”

“You don’t want to be here when Jim wakes up? I know he’d want you here.”

“What makes you say that?” Pam had a quizzical expression on her face.

Larissa gave Pam a no-nonsense kind of look. “You may be his best friend, but I grew up with the big dork. I know my brother. Also, if it were me, I’d want my best friend waiting for me at my bedside and on a lot of important things like this, Jim and I have almost always been in agreement. It’s why we’re each other’s primary emergency contacts rather than our folks.”

“Okay, we can come back here. Yes, I do want to be here when Jim wakes up. Could we at least swing by my place first though. I left my phone there this morning and if we’re going to be stuck in a hospital all night, I want my sketchpad and maybe some other stuff.”

“Deal,” Larissa told her.

Their conversation turned to various topics. Pam’s love of art, why Larissa became a counselor, which team might face elimination on The Amazing Race, and other topics of small talk. Eventually Gerald and Betsy Halpert made their way into the waiting room and Larissa introduced them to Pam.

“I’m so glad you were there with him,” Betsy exclaimed as she enfolded Pam in a hug.

“I..umm...didn’t do much,” Pam told her with an embarrassed note in her voice.

“Nonsense,” Betsy told her as she leaned back. “Regardless of what happens it’s always easier to get through hard times with a friend at your side.”

“Seriously thank you,” Gerald added. “Any updates?”

“Nothing yet,” said Larissa. “Now that you guys are here, I was going to take Pam to get Jim’s car and pick up a few other things.”

“You have his keys?” Gerald asked.

“Right here,” Larissa held up a bag containing Jim’s personal effects they’d been given before leaving the ER.

“Okay, we’ll call you when we hear anything,” Betsy told her daughter.

A quick exchange of good-bye's later and Pam and Larissa were making their way down to the parking lot. As they crossed the hospital lobby, they noticed the gift shop was still open. They figured it would probably be closed by the time they got back. Both women stopped in to pick up some get-well gifts. Once at Larissa’s car Pam resumed her slumped position as she climbed into the passenger seat.

“Hey, don’t go falling asleep on me,” Larissa gently admonished. “I’m not sure where we’re going.”

“Sorry, must be coming down from all the adrenaline,” Pam said with a small sigh.

Pam gave Larissa directions back to the baseball field. They made it back quickly. This time it was Larissa’s turn to give Pam directions to Jim’s house. After Pam had parked the car in Jim’s driveway she climbed back into Larissa’s car and gave the last set of directions to her apartment. As they pulled into the parking lot of the complex Pam’s eyes scanned the lot for Roy’s truck. It was still nowhere to be seen. She sighed again before heading inside to grab her cell phone and throw her sketch book with pencils, a blanket, a few small pillows, and some toiletries into a bag. Locking the door behind her she walked back out to where Larissa was still waiting in her car.

“Got everything?”

“Yeah I think so,” Pam answered as she flipped her phone open to check for any messages. None of the symbols for a missed call, new voicemail, or text message appeared on the small screen. With a disgusted groan she closed the phone and shoved it in a pocket.

“Something wrong?” Larissa asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“No, I mean, yes,” Pam said as she glared out of the window and crossed her arms. “Roy’s been gone all day and hasn’t called or texted or anything. If I’m out and about he’ll be calling or texting continuously asking where I am. When I’m going to be home. Stuff like that. Even if I tell him where I’m going to be. But nothing from him when he’s gone. Doesn’t seem fair is all.”

“That does sound frustrating,” Larissa told her. “Hey, mind if we make one more quick pit stop? I saw you’d grabbed a couple pillows. That sounds like a good idea. I want to pick up some other stuff too.”

“Yeah, no problem. As long as you don’t mind if I doze off between here and the hospital.”

“Doze away. You’ve had a rough day.”

Pam pulled out one of her smaller pillows out and nestled it against the door before leaning into it. It seemed like she’d only just closed her eyes when she felt a gentle rocking on her shoulder.

“Hey, we’re back at the hospital.”

Pam blinked a few times and sat back up. They were back in the Geisinger parking lot, this time in a space a lot closer to the ICU entrance rather than the red signs that read, ‘Emergency.’  “Wow, I guess I was kind of out of it there.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Larissa told her. “C’mon, I’ll bet there’s some update about Sleeping Beauty by now.”

They slung their bags over their shoulders and made their way back up to the ICU waiting room. It was surprisingly empty when they arrived.

“Do you know if Jim Halpert was transferred up here?” Larissa asked the late-night desk clerk as they crossed the room to her desk.

The clerk typed a few commands into her computer before replying. “Looks like he’s in room ten. Do you have your ID’s? The ICU is a locked unit so only family is allowed on the floor.”

Pam shrunk a little as she dug her driver’s license out of her purse and handed it over. She was about to ask Larissa for ride back home when the clerk spoke up again. “Okay you’re all set. Ms. Beesly, Jim’s parents asked me to add you to the list too so you can head back there too.”

“Oh, thanks,” Pam said as she replaced her license.

The clerk buzzed them through a set of double doors. Pam pointed at sign on the wall directing them in the direction of Jim’s room. Her voice must have carried because Gerald stepped out of the room just as they were walking up to the door.

“Jim’s here and he’s resting comfortably. Tom and Pete called, they were in New York for a Flyers game, but they’re on their way back now,” he told them in response to their unasked questions. “They took out the breathing tube before he came up here. The nurse said that if he does wake up anytime soon that he shouldn’t try to talk. Something about giving his vocal chords a rest after having the breathing tube in his windpipe for so long.”

Pam relaxed visibly at the news. With a smirk Larissa dug into her bag. “Don’t worry about that Dad. I’ve got just the thing to keep us occupied if he wakes up.”

Gerald grinned as he looked at the game of Boggle in his daughter’s hand. “You know how much he hates that game right?”

“Not my fault he can’t see the easy words,” Larissa said smugly.

“Am I missing something here?” Pam asked.

“Just an old family joke,” Gerald said as he led them inside Jim’s room. “Larissa here is the family Boggle champion. We’d have her start her score at negative fifty and she’d still win. Got to the point Jim wouldn’t play anymore.”

The warmth coming from Jim’s family washed over Pam as they walked into the ICU room. It was like a thick blanket on a cold night. Jim had told her about his family before, but meeting them was a different experience. There was only welcoming friendship coming from them, a feeling Pam basked in. Nothing like Roy’s family, she remarked to herself. Not that Roy’s family is bad. But on what’s got to be one of the worst days of their lives, they’re still letting me in. Jim’s really lucky to have them.

Jim had a room to himself. Most of the space was occupied by the bed, but Betsy and Gerald had managed to get four folding chairs into the room as well. To Pam’s eyes Jim appeared better than last time she’d seen him in the Emergency room. His face was much improved without the breathing tube coming out of his mouth. He was still attached to a variety of monitors, but since none of them were beeping or flashing, Pam assumed there were no serious issues. A bag was still slowly dripping saline into the IV she’d seen the paramedic start back at the baseball field.

“They told us it’s okay to hold his hand,” Betsy told Pam.

“Oh! Thanks” Pam hadn’t realized she hadn’t moved since walking into the room. Composing herself she walked the handful of steps to Jim’s bedside. For the second time that night she reached down and took hold of Jim’s hand. She started talking softly to him.

“Hey Jim, I'm back. I don’t know if you can hear me or not. I’m here with your parents and sister. I’m sure you know this, but they’re really great. You’re looking a lot better than the last time I saw you. I really hope you wake up soon.”

For a long second nothing changed. Then slowly, like had happened before, Jim’s fingers curled around her hand. Again, Pam felt his grip grow stronger against her palm. Her eyes darted back and forth between his hand and his face. By now he was gripping her hand harder than he had in the Emergency room.

“Guys!” She whispered and motioned them over with her free hand. “He’s gripping my hand again!”

Pam felt Jim’s family surround her as she shifted her gaze to keep an eye solidly on his face. “Come on Jim,” she whispered.

It started with the smallest of flutters, but it was there. Painstakingly, Jim’s eyelids cracked open. They flickered as Jim opened his eyes. His eyes looked around slowly before Pam saw them glance down to look first at his hand, then travel up her arm, and finally he met her gaze. The corners of his mouth snaked up as his hand squeezed hers even harder. Pam felt the sting of tears in her eyes as she stared into his hazel eyes. She felt her own smile return as she squeezed his hand back with equal force.

It was Larissa though who broke the silence when she saw it looked like Jim was about to try and speak. “Hey big bro. Thanks for re-joining the land of the living. Don’t try to talk though.”

With an effort Jim nodded and brought his other hand up, first to his chest and then his throat and rubbed them.

“Easy Jim,” Betsy told him. “You’re in the hospital. We’ll tell you everything soon, but you need to not touch your chest or neck right now.”

“Good to have you back son,” Gerald told him while reaching in to grasp Jim’s ankle and giving it a firm shake. “I’ll be right back. I'm going to tell the nurse you’re awake.”

Pam glanced behind her as Gerald left the room before turning back to Jim. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face nor the tears out of her eyes since she was now holding Jim’s hand with both of hers. “I’m so glad you’re awake.”

What happened, Jim mouthed at the three women around his bed.

“Do you remember the baseball hitting you in the chest?” Pam asked. Jim nodded. Pam quickly explained what had happened to him that evening. Larissa chimed in when Pam got to the point of the story where she had been called.

Jim’s eyes grew wide as he listened to them. With his free hand he mimed writing a note while he leaned up with his head.

“You want something to write on?” Larissa asked. Jim nodded. “Hold on, I’ve got just the thing.” She grinned triumphantly as she opened the Boggle game and held up a pad of paper and a small pencil.

With a sigh and a groan Jim flopped his head back onto his pillow. With an apologetic look to Pam, he freed his hand from hers and took the paper and pencil Larissa was holding out. He scribbled a quick note and held it out to them.

Does this mean I can put electric personality on my resume?

The joke defused much of the tension in the room. Pam, Larissa, and Betsy all found themselves letting out laughs that were half laugh-half sob before grinning at Jim who had a smirk on his face.

“Laugh it up,” Larissa told her brother wryly, but wiped a few of her own tears away from her eyes.

Pam had turned and unfolded one of the chairs next to her perch at Jim’s side. She sat down and didn’t even try to hide her grin. The thoughts that had been racing through her mind over the last few hours gone with the sheer relief in seeing Jim start to act like his normal self. She watched at Jim wrote another note.

Thanks for being here Beesly

She reached out and grabbed his hand again. “You’re so very welcome. But pull anything like that again and it means no more jelly beans for you at work anymore.”

Jim’s eyes raised as he registered the teasing in her tone. He wrote another note on his pad.

What if I die of boredom?

Pam let out a giggle at the sight of one of their private office jokes. “That’s different. I know how to cure that condition.”

Further banter was cut short as Gerald returned with a nurse in tow. The nurse politely but firmly asked them all to leave so she could have some room to examine Jim. The small group stepped outside as a few other nurses and some techs entered Jim’s room to check on him as well. The nurse promised them as soon as their checks were done, they’d allow visitors back in the room.

“Looks like they’re going to be in there for a while,” Gerald said. “Back to the waiting room where there’s at least semi-comfortable chairs?”

His suggestion was met enthusiastically and they gathered around a table. Larissa pulled out the Boggle game and started handing out paper and pencils. It didn’t take long for Pam to understand why Larissa had often been handicapped while playing Boggle in the Halpert household. The younger woman was already twenty points ahead of her nearest competition and they’d only played three rounds. After a few more rounds, the score became less important. The knowledge that Jim was awake and making wisecracks had lifted a huge cloud from them. Their game was punctuated with laughter and jokes. They’d just finished scoring another round when Pam’s phone began buzzing in her pocket. She dug it out, flipped it open, and answered the call without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” She said with a smile on her face at Larissa’s last joke.

“Hey! Where are you? Your car’s here but all the lights are off. I thought you said you’d have something to eat waiting for when I got back.” Roy’s voice sounded frustrated over the phone.

Pam’s smile instantly faded. “Umm..hold on a sec.” She quickly excused herself and stepped outside into the hallway. “I’m at the hospital. One of my friends is in the ICU and I need to be there for them.”

“Fine, but where’s dinner?”

“Dinner!? Are you serious right now?” Pam didn’t even try to hide the shock in her voice. “You leave me to go hang out with your brother all day and I’m supposed to just sit at home waiting for you to have dinner ready? It’s almost 9:30 at night anyway! You haven’t called all day. Even if I was going to make dinner, how was I supposed to know when you’d be home to eat it?”

“I couldn’t call Pammy. We were out on the lake all day.”

Pam scoffed at his excuse. “So you couldn’t call when you were leaving the lake? Or when you were on your way home? You only call when you get home and there’s no dinner waiting for you?”

“Hey calm down Pammy! I didn’t mean-”

“Shush! I don’t want to hear it. Do you have any idea how upset I am with you right now?” Pam noticed she was breathing hard while she waited for an answer.

“Don’t shush me like that. You know I don’t like it when you do that,” Roy said quietly.

“Yeah? Well I don’t like it when my fiancé leaves me alone all day long!”

“What do you mean alone all day? I thought all you office guys had to work today.”

“Huh!” Pam scoffed again. “Shows what you know. Michael ended up giving everyone the day off.”

“What? Who told you that?”

“Jim,” Pam told him simply.

It was Roy’s turn to scoff. “Larry legend himself. Maybe I should have popped him harder in the face yesterday.”

 “You did that on purpose!?” Pam felt her eyes grow wide.

“I had to Pammy! I saw the way he was looking at you. It was just like that time back in high school. You remember right? It was the game just before you finally agreed to go out with me. That tall short haired kid from the other school was looking at you the whole time. Good thing I popped that one too, otherwise we wouldn’t have won that game.”

Pam stood stock still in the hallway of the hospital as a flood of memories and emotions washed over her. The smell of a stink bomb. A kind voice handing her back a set of broken glasses. Roy asking her out. The squeak of tennis shoes in the warehouse. Jim’s hand going to his face after Roy’s hard elbow. The paramedic saying, “clear,” before the last shock that had restarted Jim’s heart. The confusion and fear she’d felt earlier and thought had been tamped down returned in full force.

“Pammy? Still there?”

Roy’s voice shook her out of her reverie. It didn’t calm her feelings though. Her voice was quiet when she did answer. “You are a grown man Roy. Make your own damn dinner. Don’t wait up for me either. I’m going to stay at my sister’s tonight.”

Before he had a chance to reply Pam ended the call and closed her phone. She backed up against the wall of the hallway and sank to the floor, hugging her knees. Her thoughts started to race again. That was the night I met Jamie. One of the guys on Jamie’s team was checking me out? Wait a minute. Didn’t Jamie say something about how he’d noticed me drawing that night? Was Jamie the one Roy hit in the face? Great, any time another guy shows even the slightest interest in me, Roy’s going to deck them. Real mature Roy. No! Even if I was never able to find him, Jamie memories are good memories. Roy doesn’t get to take that away. Just like moments with Jim are good moments. Especially now that he’s awake. She didn’t know how much longer she’d sat there until she heard Larissa’s voice.

“Hey. Everything alright?”

Pam looked up to see Jim’s sister standing halfway in the doorway to the waiting room. Worry was clearly stamped on her face. She shook her head at Larissa. “No! Roy got home and called because I didn’t have dinner waiting for him. Then we got in this big fight.”

Larissa stepped over and sat down next to Pam. “Want to get it off your chest? Trust me, it’s not a good thing to keep stuff bottled up.”

Pam rubbed her eyes for a second before she looked back at Larissa. “Remember that basketball game Jim and I told you about during lunch? Roy just admitted to me that he deliberately elbowed Jim in the face ‘cause he didn’t like the way Jim was looking at me. What’s worse is that he said he did it because it reminded him of this one time we were back in high school and he did the same thing to another guy.”

“Wow!” Larissa’s eyebrows raised. “Jealous much?”

“Friday maybe, we are engaged after all. But we weren’t even dating at the time back when it happened in high school. Thing is if was the guy I think it was, I kinda-sorta liked that guy back in high school. I’ve always wondered what would have happened if I’d gone out with the other guy rather than Roy.  Obviously, I ended up with Roy anyway, so what reason does he have to feel jealous? And to just expect me to be at home waiting for him to cook dinner? What am I his mother?”

Before Larissa could answer, Pam’s cell phone buzzed again. Pam looked down at it and saw it was Roy’s number. She opened the phone again, but chose to ignore the call. For good measure she then turned the phone off before putting it back in her pocket. “I do not want to talk to him right now.”

Larissa put a comforting arm around Pam’s shoulder. “I don’t blame you. I for one think you’re doing the right thing. Get some space to cool down and think things out. It’s something I tell a lot of my patients. ‘Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.’”

The words of friendship and comfort did much to soothe Pam’s feelings. She reached up and squeezed the hand Larissa had on her shoulder. “Thanks. How about a few more games of Boggle? That should give Roy some time to realize I’m not going to call him back. Right now, I just want to forget about him. There’re more important things anyway right now. Jim’s awake and looks like he’s doing good. That’s what’s important. I’ll call my sister in a little bit. She’s told me I can always crash at her place if you don’t mind driving me back to my place so I can get my car.”

“No problem at all,” Larissa said as she stood up and offered a hand to Pam. They walked back into the waiting room where Gerald and Betsy were still waiting for them.

“Everything okay?” Betsy asked.

“No,” Pam answered but with a hint of confidence growing in her voice. “But it’s going to be thanks to Larissa. She’s a really good listener.”

Betsy knew not to pry. “She is. Back to the game?”

Pam nodded as a small smile returned to her face. “I’d like that.”

They didn’t play much longer since Jim’s nurse came into the waiting room and announced they could return to his room. The game was packed up before they trooped back to Jim’s bedside.

Jim’s face lit up as he saw them enter. When they’d left his room earlier, Jim had been lying flat on his bed. Now the head of the bed was raised so he was sitting up as they gathered around him. “Hey,” he said weakly. His voice was soft and slightly harsh. “They said I can talk again but not too loudly.”

“Don’t worry about talking,” Larissa told him as she shook the Boggle box. “We can still get a few rounds in if you’re not too tired.”

“You’re starting at negative hundred,” he said with the best smirk he could manage.

Larissa put on a fine show of fake annoyance as she pulled his bedside table over. Betsy and Gerald bowed out of the game citing there wasn’t much room for them. They took up seats on the opposite side of Jim’s bed and settled in to watch the other three enjoy their game. Pam handed out paper and pencils first then grabbed the hourglass timer.

“Getting kind of possessive of that,” Larissa remarked.

“You’re too good,” Pam countered and looked over at Jim. “He’s in no position to keep things fair, so I hereby nominate myself timekeeper.”

“You going to let her get away with this?” Larissa asked her brother.

Jim was smirking watching the pair of them. “Pam’s right, nothing I can do to stop her.”

With an exasperated sigh that fooled no one, Larissa let the issue drop and started shaking the letter cubes in their tray to start a new round. She kept her hand over the cover before setting it down close to Jim. “Can you see okay?”

“Yup.” Jim looked over at Pam. “Madam timekeeper, if you please.”

“Three...two...one...go!” Pam flipped over the timer as Larissa pulled the plastic cover off the tray. For the next three minutes the only sound was the scratching of pencil on paper as they tried to write down as many words as they could.

“And stop!” Pam told them as the last grains of sand fell.

There was quite of bit of laughter as they compared their lists. Pam challenged Jim that, “ugh,” didn’t count since it was a sound not a word.

“Mom, back me up here,” Jim appealed.

“Use the word in a sentence,” Betsy replied without looking up from her crochet project.

“Ugh,” was the only sound Jim was able to make when he couldn’t.

They played a few more rounds before the nurse came back in and told them visiting hours would be ending in ten minutes. Gerald stepped into the hall to call Tom and Pete and give them the news since they hadn’t made it back from New York yet.

Larissa came up to Jim and pulled the card and the get well present she’d picked up earlier. “Here big bro. ‘A Visit to the Sesame Street Hospital,’” She handed him the kids book she’d found. “It’s got pictures and small words, something to keep you occupied after we all take off.” she said while grinning.

Jim laughed as he opened the book that showed Grover waving at them in surgical attire on the front cover. He flipped through a few pages. “Thanks. I’ll be sure to have all my nurses sign it too.”

Pam set her gift down on Jim’s tray table with her own smile on her face. “Here, it’s to bring you back to life whenever you die of boredom at the office.”

Jim reached out and took the small plushie from the table. It looked to be kind of a red cylinder with a smaller branch coming out of one side at the level of two eyes. “Umm...thanks. What is it?” he asked quizzically.

“It’s a plushie heart cell, silly.” Pam told him with a grin. “I saw it downstairs and just had to get it for you. If you squeeze the inside, it makes a heartbeat sound.”

Jim squeezed the small toy and a button within clicked. At one a muffled heartbeat sound came out from inside and his smile returned. “I love it, thank you.”

Slowly he reached out an arm and Pam leaned down for a quick good-bye hug. He repeated the gesture with his family before they gathered their things and left the room. They all told Jim to get some rest and promised to be back the next day to check in on him.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Three days later, with a clean bill of health Jim was walking back into the familiar office at Dunder-Mifflin. His doctors had said there would be no lasting impacts and other than an order to limit physical activity for a month to let his ribs heal, he was cleared to return to his normal life.

“Hey stranger,” Pam’s eyes lit up as Jim leaned over her desk to grab his usual morning jelly beans.

“Hey yourself,” he returned. “Did I miss anything while I was gone?”

“You did actually,” she replied with a mock tone of admonishment. “Yesterday was really busy. We were short one of our salesmen, so of course profits tumbled drastically.”

“Oh really?” Jim’s eyebrows came up as he caught the playfulness in her voice. “Where was he?”

Pam shrugged. “Got me. Probably laying at home, slacking off like normal.”

“How dare he,” Jim said with a shake of his head and a smile.

“Seriously though, it’s really good to have you back so soon,” Pam smiled up at him.

“Good to be back Beesly,” Jim replied before turning to his desk and sitting down.

He set his messenger bag on the floor and opened the flap. Glancing back up at Pam he pulled out the heart cell plushie. She saw right away as he activated the heartbeat sound and wiggled it back and forth a couple times. Before anyone else in the office could comment on the smiles they shared Jim slid opened his desk drawer and set the toy inside.

Pam watched as Jim put her gift in his desk. Looking down, she opened one of her own desk drawers to a folder in the back. Her sketch was still there, well protected by the clear tape she’d put on it years before. As it always did, the sight of a high school basketball player in mid-jump shot caused a smile to bloom on her face.

“Yes sir, we are offering a new discount right now. Sign a year-long renewing contract and you’ll save 10% for the first month of your contract. With the referral discount you’re already getting, it basically means you’re getting a month of free paper.” Jim was wiggling his pen in his fingers as he twisted back and forth in his chair with his phone pressed to his ear. “Sounds great Mr. Brown! Is your fax number the same? Excellent! I’ll get that new contract written up and faxed over to you within the hour. Yup. Give my best to the girls too. What was that? Two already? No, none for me yet, maybe someday. That sounds like a lot of fun. A two tutu’s for twins party will be very special. Absolutely, send me as many pictures as you want. Yup, my email address is still the same. Alright, always a pleasure doing business with you Mr. Brown. What was that? Oh, I know your first name. It was one of those things my father said made for good manners. Yup, alright, good-bye.”

Setting the receiver down Jim thumped the top of his desk in satisfaction. “Yes!” he whispered under his breath as he pulled up a new contract form on his computer. It didn’t take him long to add in the new information and print off a copy. Feeling especially chipper he turned completely around in his chair before getting up and walking to one of his favorite places in the office, the reception desk

“Someone looks happy. Get a new customer?” Pam asked with a smile as he approached her desk.

“Even better,” he replied with a jaunty grin as he helped himself to a few jelly beans. “Remember last spring when Dwight poached one of my biggest clients?”

Pam’s eyes furrowed a bit as she tried to recall the event. “I think so. Wasn’t that the day when we had that diversity hero presentation?”

“The very same,” he confirmed as he double checked the fax number, he’d written on a post-it note. “Butterfly Day itself.”

“One of these days you’re going to have to tell me why you called that day, Butterfly Day.”

Jim smiled as the memory of Pam’s head on his shoulder re-surfaced. He let out an exaggerated mock-sigh. “If I must, but it’s only because I’m in a really good mood right now. It was just after Dwight stole my account. I was feeling really down, when out of nowhere the most beautiful butterfly I’ve ever seen landed on my shoulder. That had never happened to me before, so regardless of everything, it turned out to be not a bad day.”

“Aww, Jim,” Pam cooed. “That’s so sweet.”

And that face right there is the reason that butterfly necklace showed up on your desk the next day too. His eyes rested for one more brief moment on the necklace in question before he turned to the fax machine. “Anyway, with the deal I just closed I’ve more than made up for what Dwight stole from me.”

Pam beamed at him and raised her hand. Even though they were only a couple feet from each other he returned the air five gesture they’d long since perfected. “Great job. What was the deal? A new school? The library maybe?”

“Not quite,” Jim told her as the contract was successfully faxed. “It was for the local 7-11 franchise. Cash register receipt rolls might be small, but a lot of little rolls turns into one really big commission for yours truly!”

“Wow!” Pam’s eyebrows raised. “I’m impressed. I didn’t know we even sold receipt paper.”

Jim smirked at her. “It’s never been a real big seller, which is why the discount was good. But, when you think of how many 7-11's there are, each with maybe a couple cash registers inside and more outside in the gas pumps it adds up. Also, makes for a good foot in the door for some of our more regular products.”

“Well, I for one will only fill up at 7-11 from now on,” Pam told him with her own smirk.

“Thanks.” The squeal of the fax machine grabbed his attention. The signed contract had come back. Jim looked it over to make sure it was completed correctly. “This also means I’ve hit my commission cap for the month. You know what that means,” he said with a conspiratorial grin.

The light of mischief twinkled in Pam’s eyes as she replied. “Absolutely I do. Let’s brainstorm over lunch.”

“You got a deal Beesly.” Jim brought the completed contract over to Oscar. Once the numbers were entered into the system, Jim returned to his desk to place the order into the queue of other orders to be sent down to the warehouse. He was just finishing up when he heard a door open behind him.

“Alright everybody! Listen up!” Michael announced to the office. Work stopped as all eyes turned to their boss. Kelly and Toby made their way from the Annex in short order. The hair plugs he’d gotten after then cameras had left for the summer had come in nicely, but at the moment they were covered by a Santa hat. “It’s that most wonderful time of the year! Time to pick Secret Santa!”

“It’s still the second week of September,” Stanley droned from his desk.

“Exactly right,” Michael told the dour salesman. “Remember last year?”

Stanley’s expression didn’t change. “You mean when you forgot about Secret Santa till the day before the party and we all had to scramble to get gifts?”

“Yes, that!” Michael pointed enthusiastically at Stanley as he pulled his hat off his head. “So, to make sure you all have plenty of time, we’re going to draw names now. So, everyone, write out your name on a slip of paper.”

Dwight bounded to his feet to stand at Michael’s side. “Can I be the one to collect names? As Assistant Regional Manager-”

“To The,” Michael said in an almost Pavlovian way.

“- it is my duty to ensure all names are accounted for and properly dispersed.” Dwight had carried on, ignoring Michael’s interruption.

“No, Dwight, go sit down and write down your name,” Michael told him bluntly.

“Can I be the one to go over the rules?” Dwight pressed.

“No, just, grrrrrr,” Michael shook his head in annoyance. “This is my job, my responsibility. As the only one around here who knows how to make the workplace fun. Go sit down. I get to collect names.”

“Besides, it’s Santa who determines who hands out gifts, not the elves,” Jim chimed in.

Michael pointed at Jim. “Boom! Just like Jim said. Now go sit down Dwight.”

Soon the names were in the hat. Michael made a big show of mixing up the slips of paper before walking around to everyone in turn so they could draw a name. Michael insisted he would be the last one to draw a name and started with Stanley. He made his way clockwise around the office so that by the time he reached Jim and Dwight there were only three names left to draw. Ignoring the childish smirk on his boss’ face Jim reached into the Santa hat and quickly plucked the first piece of paper he touched. As Michael walked over to Dwight’s desk Jim looked down at the name he’d just drawn.

Pam

It was as if his heart had stopped and started again in the same instant. Jim was glad his chair was angled towards the conference room door. He was sure that if Pam had seen his face, he would have given himself away as her Secret Santa in an instant. Excitement and nervousness flooded through him at the same time as he pocked the post-it note he’d drawn.

Whoa! This is big! Okay cool it Halpert. Calm down and think. You need to get this right.

Further thought was cut short by Michael’s next announcement. “So, now no excuses. You’ve all got lots of time to come up with the perfect gift for your compadre’s. Next item to tell you. The documentary crew is coming back! Just in time for the Dundies next week! You’ve had all summer to slack off, but starting next week make sure you all start dressing extra sexy. I know my own efforts won’t go a-mist.” Michael smoothed out his new hair plugs, oblivious to the sea of eye-rolls that had greeted his words.

Jim zoned out as Michael prattled on about the importance of looking good for the cameras. He was to lost in thought about what he was going to get Pam for Christmas. A new set of art pencils? She’s been saying she needs new pencils for a while. No, that wouldn’t work. Besides I gave her crayons that one time. It would be like repeating a gift. That’s no fun. It needs to be something no one else would get her. Something to let her know it was from me. Something that shows how much I pay attention to her. This might take some thought.

“Ready for lunch?”

Jim was so lost in thought the simple question caused him to jump in his seat before he looked up and saw Pam standing next to his desk. “Whoa! Pam! Sorry, didn’t see you there.”

“You okay? You look a little flushed.” Pam giggled at him.

I will be if you keep smiling at me like that. “Yeah, fine,” Jim replied as he minimized the windows on his computer, grabbed a pen and a pad of paper, and stood up. “After you,” he told her and swept his arm towards the kitchen.

“Oh, so gentlemanly,” she gently teased him.

Knowing she was kidding only made Jim act the part even more. Using his longer stride to his advantage he made it to the kitchen door ahead of her and opened it up with a bow. “Milady,” he said as she walked through.

“Good sir,” she replied with a tiny courtesy of her skirt. Laughing at the silliness they retrieved their lunches from the fridge before crossing into the Annex and found an empty table in the break room.

Jim set his lunch down before moving to the vending machine. “Can I get you something Beesly?”

“Sure,” she said cheerfully. “Whatever you’re having is fine.”

“Grape soda it is,” he said with a nod of satisfaction. The sodas were quickly bought and Jim sat down next to her. “So, I call to order this meeting of the Halpert-Beesly Prank Society. Chairman Halpert recognizes Vice Chair Beesly. What do you got?”

Pam couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Even though they were, thus far, the only two in the break room, she still leaned in close and spoke in low tones. “Okay, so this one might take a while, but I think it’ll be a good one. Remember how I showed you that you can take apart the halves of the phone receivers?” She waited a beat while Jim nodded. “What if we put like a weight or something in it so Dwight can’t lift it up when the phone rings?”

“Wow! Where do you come up with this stuff Beesly?” Jim was grinning as he wrote the idea down on his pad of paper. When he finished, he looked up at the ceiling and tapped his pen against his lips while contemplating the logistics of the prank. “Do you really think we could get enough weight in there to keep him from lifting the receiver? He is a brown belt after all.”

“Ooh, good point,” Pam conceded and pursed her lips. She started thinking about that problem while opening her cup of yogurt. “Hmmmm, wait! I’ve got it!” She suddenly brightened up. “What if we don’t put all the weight in at once? Just do it slowly over a couple weeks or so?”

Jim was eating his sandwich with one hand while adding notes with the other. “Yes! Now this has promise.”

“Then the coup-de-gras, after he’s gotten used to the weight, we just take it all out one day and see what he does. Kind of like those ring things baseball players put on their bats while they warm up.”

Jim looked up at her then. “You mean a donut?”

“Yeah! One of those!”

“You have the game on last night or something?” Not that I really want to know how she spends her time with What’s-his-face but it keeps her talking.

Pam looked down sheepishly at the question. “No, um, I usually go into the other room and sketch when Roy has a game on. I saw your heart plushie in your desk this morning when I was handing out messages, and I guess it reminded me of where we were when that all happened.”

I was not expecting that! Jim kept his gaze on her until she looked back up at him. “It’s okay Pam,” he said gently. “If it helps, I don’t really remember a lot from when we got to that baseball field till when I woke up in the hospital.” But I’ll never forget waking up to your beautiful face or your hand in mine. “I try to focus on the good parts of that day. Shopping for the microwave, lunch, the movie with my sister, heck even you going all doe-eyed over that teapot.” Wait! That’s it! The teapot!

To his relief Pam only started laughing. “That’s right! I’d forgotten about that. Or how we spent the whole car ride singing along to Queen songs.” She glanced down at her can of soda briefly before looking back at Jim. “I know we don’t really talk about that night all that much, but I’m really glad everything turned out okay.”

Jim gave her his best cock-eyed grin. “Me too.”

“So anyway,” Pam spluttered after the ensuing silence started becoming loud. “What are we going to put in Dwight’s phone? It’s got to be something small that we can get in there without him noticing.”

“What about fishing line weights?” Jim suggested.

“The small ones would probably rattle around too much and the bigger ones wouldn’t fit,” Pam countered. She immediately pointed at Jim with a serious look on her face after she finished her last sentence. “Don’t you dare say it!”

Jim’s grin changed from cock-eyed to shit-eating in an instant. “Say what?”

“We’ve spent far too much time with Michael, for you not to know what I’m talking about. So, zip it mister!” she warned.

He held his hands up in resignation before miming closing a zipper over his lips and throwing the key over his shoulder.

“Pennies!” Pam blurted out.

Jim unzipped his lips, which got a giggle out of Pam, before he replied. “What about pennies?”

“That’s what we could put in his phone!” She had become so excited she’d reached out and grasped his arm.

Please don’t ever let go. “Might run into the same problem as fishing weights. Same with dimes. Nickles might work though. Big enough to fit but they shouldn’t rattle around that much. Start tomorrow?”

Pam let go of Jim’s arm and nodded. “Yeah! Totally! Oh this is going to be good!”

They kept plotting about the execution of the prank while they finished the rest of their meal. Other office workers came and went through the break room. Jim and Pam were careful to keep their voices down, all too aware of how fast rumors could spread. “Okay,” Jim declared as they wrapped up planning their scheme. “We’ll have to get here early tomorrow to start things off. I can get a couple rolls of nickels from the bank tonight.”

“Oooh,” Pam’s face soured. “I might not be able to make it in earlier than normal tomorrow. My car’s in the shop again so I’ll be riding with Roy. You know how he hates having to get in early or stay late.”

All too much Beesly. “I could pick you up if you want. But seriously how old is that car of yours?”

Pam giggled at the teasing tone in his voice. “That would be great if you could pick me up. And lay off my car! It’s not that old.”

“Pam come on,” Jim told her flatly. “The thing doesn’t even have a CD player. You’ve got to have one of those cassette adaptors just to use your old high school discman since the radio’s shot too.”

“Hey! Don’t go dissin’ my discman!” She lightly swatted his arm. “Just because some of us have new-fangled things like iPods,” she said the last word with air quotes. “Doesn’t mean the old stuff doesn’t work.”

Jim only laughed at her kidding tone as he finished his sandwich and reached for a packet of Oreo’s he’d brought.

Pam’s eyes darted to the cookies before she gave him a pleading look as he opened the pack and held out a hand. “Please?”

“Well since you used the magic word.” Jim said with a smile and handed her a cookie.

He was rewarded with his favorite Pam smile. Her tongue peeking out from under her top teeth as she grinned from ear to ear. “Thanks. So, who’d you get for Secret Santa?” she asked as she twisted the Oreo apart.

Oh no! You don’t get to know that till Christmas! “Zaphod Beeblebrox,” he said bluntly.

“What!” Pam exploded. “Come on,” she pleaded.

“Fine, it’s Kitt Cloudkicker.” Smugness was written in his entire voice.

“Jim,” Pam cocked her head at him. “You can’t just go naming names from first one of my favorite book series and then from my favorite cartoon.”

“Oh, sure I can,” he replied. “It’s not my fault you told me you kept watching cartoons all the way through high school.”

“A mistake I’ll be sure to learn from in the future,” she said as she flinged the last specks of her yogurt at his face. “You’re seriously not going to tell me? I’ll tell you who I got.”

Jim was dabbing his face with a napkin before he looked back at her. “Sorry Pam, no can do. If you tell me who you have, then I’ll feel guilty enough to tell you who I have. Or more likely you’ll just pout at me all day long trying to wear me down. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”

“Fine, spoilsport,” Pam said glumly and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Jim reassured her. “After all, starting next week we’ll have the cameras back and I’m sure we’ll all forget about Secret Santa until the day of the party anyway.”

“Yeah, just in time for another ‘Longest Engagement’ Dundie.” Pam’s expression fell and she put a finger in the air and made a weak circle. “Whoo-hoo.”

“You don’t think even Michael is dense enough to hand out the same award three years in a row, do you?”

Pam looked at him with an annoyed expression. “It’s the only award I’ve ever gotten from him. Like the only thing he thinks is memorable about me is that Roy won’t set a date. I’ve even offered to look into dates, but it’s just one excuse after another.”

“Sorry,” was all Jim was able to say.

She took a deep breath. “No, I am. I’ve dumped on you enough about the fact Roy won’t set a date or anything. This lunch started out fun and I brought it down.”

Jim reached out and patted her forearm. “You could never bring things down Pam.”

She flashed him a quick smile. “Thanks. That’s nice of you to say.” She glanced up and looked at the clock. “Shoot, lunch is almost over. Were you serious about picking me up early tomorrow?”

“Cross my heart,” Jim said as they stood up and gathered their trash.

“Okay,” Pam said brightening up. “Can you be there by say...8:30?”

“Not a problem at all. I’ll even have coffee ready.” Jim held open the door to the kitchen as they made their way back to the main part of the office and their desks. He walked her back to her desk and leaned over, while grabbing a few more jelly beans. She took the phones off automatic voicemail and looked back up at him as he went on. “We’ve got an exciting week ahead of us Beesly. A new prank, the cameras coming back, unwanted Dundies, and Christmas just around the corner.”

“You know it Halpert,” she replied.

_____________________________________________________________________________

When I told her last week, that this week was going to be exciting, I didn’t think it would be like this. Holy crap! I still can’t believe it. She kissed me! She actually kissed me! Granted she’s so very drunk right now, but still. No, it was just a drunken kiss. It couldn't have meant anything. Just a simple kiss between friends. Wait do friends really kiss like that though? Even when they’re drunk? I don’t think any of my other friends who are girls ever did that. It was a nice kiss even if it was short. A kiss brought on because you convinced Michael not to give her that award she hated so much. And she came back. Before she was drunk, she came back. She chose me over What’s-his-face. That’s got to be something right?

Jim’s thoughts were going a mile a minute as he helped Pam to the side door of Angela’s car. They had been ever since she’d reappeared after briefly leaving with Roy. They'd gone into full afterburner mode after she’d all but thrown herself at him and pressed her lips against his. Even though the night seemed to winding down he couldn’t shake the giddiness he’d felt after those few brief moments with her in his arms and her soft kiss branded on his heart. He was even more surprised when instead of turning to sit in the car, she turned back to him.

“Hey, um, can I ask you a question?”

Anything, you can ask me anything Beesly! “Shoot.”

He waited on baited breath as it looked like she was trying to determine the right way to ask her question. That is until she glanced over and saw a camera aimed in their direction.

“Um, I just wanted to say thanks.”

Damn, still she’s happy. Play it cool. “Not really a question. Come on, let’s get you home.” If only home was with me. Especially when you giggle like that.

“Bye,” she said softly as she got into the car.

“Goodnight,” he said at the same time. “Have a good night. Thank you, Angela.”

He closed the door for her and the silver car started to pull out of the parking lot. He stayed where he was watching it leave, lost in his own thoughts.

She was drunk, that’s all it was. She probably won’t even remember it in the morning. But what if she does? What if she liked it as much as I did? I hope she did. After all she didn’t even look at anyone else to sit with, just came right back to be with me. She chose me over her fiancé! Most people should choose anyone over that particular fiancé, but that’s beside the point. That’s got to be something. I really hope she remembers kissing me tomorrow at work. STOP! She’s engaged! She’s not yours and never will be. Besides there’s Katy to think about too. Those were some nice dates and she said she’d be willing to go out again. But I’ve never felt the same way about Katy that I do about Pam. No one’s made me feel the same way I do about Pam.

Well one girl did. What ever happened to you Morgan? Wow! I can’t believe I still remember her name. That was what, almost eight years ago now? Time flies. Wherever you are Morgan I hope you’re happy. I wonder, do I still have that chat log? I think so. Maybe I should go home and look for that.

Jim gave one more look to the camera before he turned and made his way to his car. He tossed his ‘Head in the Clouds’ Dundie on his passenger seat as he turned the ignition and turned the car on. Reaching into his pocket he pulled his iPod out and plugged it into his car’s stereo. Scrolling through his options he quickly found the playlist he’d recently started creating. “Pam’s Playlist,” was at the top and he hit the play button to start the first song. The opening notes to Bohemian Rhapsody started coming out of the speakers as he pulled out of the parking lot. While the Queen song played, he was already thinking of songs to add to the playlist.

I'll have to add Tiny Dancer and Time of Your Life of course. The original versions. There’s no why I’d willingly want to listen to Michael’s versions if I can help it. Let’s see what else can go on here? Oh, that would be funny. Pam would get a kick out of Achy Breaky Heart, I just know it. Wait a sec, could I give her this playlist? How would that work? She only has the cassette player in her car. A mixtape! That’s it. Just copy this playlist to a mix tape and put it in the teapot I’m going to get her! That’ll be fun. What else could I put in there?

Ooh there’s an idea, have a song on the mixtape for everything I put in the teapot. Some other songs too, but everything that’s in the teapot gets its own song. So, let’s see we already have Bohemian Rhapsody. We were listening to that just after she saw the teapot for the first time, so that can be the song for the teapot. What about Achy Breaky? I know, the Boggle timer! It would serve Larissa right too for beating us in every game we played in the hospital. I’ve got to have some other stuff I can put in there. Simple stuff that only we would know about.

Newly encouraged Jim felt his heart grow light just as Brian May’s headbanging guitar riff kicked in. Bobbing his head to the beat and tapping his thumbs on the wheel Jim couldn’t wait to get home. His drive was otherwise uneventful. He bounded up the stairs to his room to start up his laptop. He changed out of his work clothes into a pair of pajama pants, t shirt, and a blue sweater. His wallet fell out of his pocket as he balled up his pants to shoot towards his laundry bin. Reaching down to retrieve the item his eye fell on a gray shoebox under his bed.

The lettering was faded, but still legible, MAF12. With a wistful grin Jim opened the box and pulled out the old chat log and the sketches that had started to fade. The combination of the idea of a teapot mixtape and reading the conversation caused a warm glow in his chest. He was so lost in his musings, he didn’t hear his instant messenger chime at first. It was only the second and third chimes that caused him to look back at his laptop screen.

Receptionitis15: Jim!
Receptionitis15: Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimm!!!
Receptionitis15: Jim Jim Jim Jim j imJim Jim JimJim Jim!!!!! heythat’s kinda fun to type. Jim Jimbo James. what other J names are there? John Jonah, Johann, acob, Josh, Joshua, Justin, Jason, Jeff! Ooh I like that one! :D Jeff Jeff Jeff JeffJeff Jeffey Jeff. Why isn’t you’re name Jeff, Jim?

Jim couldn’t help but laugh as he started to type a response. How fast can you type Beesly?

JIM9334: I don’t know why my name’s not Jeff. Want me to change it?
Receptionitis15: Finally! I was beginnning to think you were ignoring me. & no Don’t change you’re name. It’s a good name. But I digest, guess What I found out?!?!?!?!?!?! 😛
JIM9334: I don’t know, what did you find out.
Receptionitis15: No! U gotta guest!

Jim’s smile was from ear to ear as he read Pam’s messages. This is so great. I may have to print off this chat log too.

JIM9334: Ummm....Angela isn’t the tightwad we always took her for and gave you Third Drink for the ride home?
Receptionitis15: ROFLMAO!!!!! 😀 😀 no!! But close! It has to do, he he that sounds kinda like doo doo, it deals with her
JIM9334: She's actually a dog person. She’s just been keeping it a secret this whole time.
Receptionitis15: Nope! Swish 2!
JIM9334: I think you mean Strike 2
Receptionitis15: yeeah that. One more guess!
JIM9334: Hmmm...what to guess....what to guess. What would you guess?
Receptionitis15: I’d guess Angela actually makes and decorates her own holiday cookies!!!!
JIM9334: Then for my last guess I guess that Angela makes and decorates her own holiday cookies.
Receptionitis15: Yes!! She so totally does! She said so when she drove me home! You’re a good guester. 🙂 How’dja guess that?
JIM9334: I’m just that great I suppose. Darn, I was kinda hoping the dog one was the right answer.
Receptionitis15: Oh that would be fun. I love dogs! I’d have one but our apartment doesn’t allow them. Have you ever had a dog?
JIM9334: Not growing up. Our first pet was a goldfish named Bob though. My brother Tom just got my niece a puppy. I think I’ve got a picture of it somewhere.
Receptionitis15: YayPuppies!!

You are still so very drunk Pam and it’s so very cute. I can’t wait to print this off and show it to you. Jim shook his head and navigated to the picture of him cradling the new Golden Retriever puppy. Tom had snapped the picture just before the hyper pup had shaken the large bow off her collar and then proceeded to rip apart a bag of kibble. Tom had also snapped a shot of Jim’s butt in the air trying to clean up after the animal. One more picture followed of Jim after he’d fallen on his back after tripping over both dog and dog food. He sent all three pictures to her.

Receptionitis15: Bwahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!! That first one is super cute. The other 2...bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JIM9334: Hey watch it. I still have those hot dog hot sauce packets and I’m not afraid to use them!
Receptionitis15: You wouldn’t dare!
JIM9334: Oh how little you know me Bees.
Receptionitis15: I’m going to find where you hid those you no. Better watch your back.
JIM9334: Anyway, we were talking about Angel decorating her own cookies.
Receptionitis15: Oh yeah! That’s right All the cookies shes ever brought to parties, she’s made by hand. Who knew! She sed she already has Halloween ones made up. Do you think she deos it by herself or she has halp?
JIM9334: Probably by herself. But you could offer to help her for Christmas cookies!
Receptionitis15: Ooooh!! That could be fun! We could do Santa’s, snowmen, reigndeer, candy canes, trees. But like little ones that you can eat all in one bite.
JIM9334: Just make sure you get pictures, or better yet get a video. Pam and Angela decorating Christmas cookies together. I’d watch that video over and over.
Receptionitis15: u would too. Stalker. Oh wait, Christmas! You still need to tell me you you’ve got for Secret Santa?
JIM9334: Fine...I’ll tell you. I got...The Grinch!
Receptionitis15: OMG!!! You got dwight!!! That’s so great.
JIM9334: No, not Dwight. The Grinch himself. I’m going to get him some Roast Beast and Who-Hash. Should make his heart grow ten more sizes too big.
Receptionitis15: & you laughed at me for watching cartoons.
JIM9334: You, the general everyone you not you you, can’t not have seen that cartoon Pam. Come on, it’s a classic.

They kept chatting as the night progressed. Slowly Jim noticed Pam was becoming slower to respond. The late night and copious amounts of alcohol finally catching up to her. He did notice that she seemed to  be becoming more sober as the night had gone on.

Receptionitis15: Oh Jim! I just remembered why I fist got online tonight.
JIM9334: Why’s that?
Receptionitis15: That question I wanted to ask you, well I saw the camera there and I kinda chicken out. This seems easier over IM either way.

She remembers that? What else does she remember?

JIM9334: You can ask me anything Beesly.
Receptionitis15: Thanks. I was going to ask if we could, um, kind of keep it secret that I kissed you tonight?

She does remember it! Holy shit!

JIM9334: So you do remember that? Why keep it a secret?
Receptionitis15: Because some things, nice things, like that kiss deserve to be private. You know?

Jim started dumbfoundedly at his screen. Did I really just read that? Keep it cool, she is still engaged after all and you don’t want to push her away.

JIM9334: Yeah, I think I do know. Back in college I had a girlfriend all four years, but stored away I still had a box filled with stuff from a girl I had a crush on in back high school. Sometimes I felt a little guilty about keeping it, but I didn’t want to let go of such a cherished memory.
Receptionitis15: Right! That’s it exactly. So, out secret? *holds out a pinky
Jim9334: Our secret. *pinky to pinky

She signed off soon after with a promise to drink a large glass of water before she went to bed. Still it wasn’t a waste he mused as he looked over the item spread out on his desk. A golf pencil, hot sauce packets, and a Boggle timer rested in front of his computer. The playlist he’d formed was saved on his iTunes accound. Hot Hot Hot by Arrow for the hot sauce packets, Happy Day by Uncanny Alliance for the golf pencil had been added to the list of songs already saved to the playlist. Jim downloaded the playlist to his iPod. He made a note to pick up a blank cassette tape the next time he went out. Along with the tape, he also wrote down a note to buy a small teal teapot.

“Holy shit man! Would you relax? Parties are supposed to be fun and you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I promise you the bathroom is clean.”

Jim looked over at his roommate with an exasperated look on his face. “I just want things to be nice.”

“Uh huh,” Mark nodded skeptically at him while lifting his beer to his mouth and taking a swig.

“Dude! Those are for when people show up!”

“Bullshit,” Mark told him flatly. “Beer is for drinking and besides we’ve only got a few minutes till people arrive anyway. There’s still the whole rest of the case. You sure you can’t keep the cameras out of here?”

With a sigh Jim tossed his dish rag back in the sink after he’d finished wiping off the last of the counter tops. “Sorry no. Part of the contract. If you want to talk to one of the producers you might be able to get a small cut of the royalties when/if this ever airs. But then again it’s for PBS so there might not be a lot of money.”

Mark shrugged indifferently. “It’s more the thought that there’s already going to be a ton of people here and a full camera crew with equipment might be a lot.”

“I think they’re only sending one or two guys and just cameras. Not the full crew. So, no boom guy or audio tech picking up conversations from halfway across the room. And to be honest, once you get used to them you kinda forget they’re around, most of the time that is.”

“Well that sounds like a plus.”

Jim took another look around the kitchen to make sure everything was in order. “You’re absolutely sure you want to meet all my co-workers?”

Mark almost choked on his beer. “Are you kidding? Three years now you’ve been telling me stories about all these people. There’s no way in hell Dwight can be like he is. No one likes beets that much.”

“You my friend are in for a surprise then,” Jim told Mark as he opened his own beer and took a healthy gulp.

“What about saving the beer for guests?” Mark asked with a raised eyebrow.”

“What about telling me to relax?” Jim countered.

“Touche,” Mark admitted. “Though is the beer because Dwight is showing up or one Pamela Beesly and her, what was it you said last week, asshole of a fiancé?”

Jim’s head snapped up with a concerned look on his face. “First, please don’t mention him tonight. Second, he’s not even coming and I don’t want Pam to have to worry about that at all. Third, yes the beer is because she’s going to be here by herself and after I screwed things up with her a couple weeks ago, tonight has to go well.”

Mark was about to reply when the door opened and a feminine voice called out from the front hall. “Mark? Jim? I’m back! You guys are in luck. This is the last package of dip the store had.”

“Sounds great babe!” Mark called out to his girlfriend Emily. “Bring it back to the kitchen and get ready for the latest tale in the Jim-and-Pam-need-to-pull-their-heads-out-of-their-asses-and-just-hook-up chronicle.”

Emily all but bounded into the kitchen. “Ooh! What now? Did you finally tell her? I still think you’re crazy for waiting so long anyway but you’ve stopped listening to me about that.”

“She’s engaged, we’re just friends,” Jim reminded them.

“So, you’ve said countless times,” Mark said with an unimpressed tone of voice, as he and Emily leaned over the breakfast bar. Mark turned to his girlfriend. “Pam’s fiancé isn’t even going to be here tonight.”

“Really!” Emily’s eyes grew wide. “So again, Pam is choosing to be here with you rather than him. Just like a couple weeks ago on the roof, or the time you guys skipped work and went to the mall and arcade for the afternoon, the night she got kicked out of Chili’s, and of course all the time she spent visiting you when you were in the hospital. Doesn’t sound like someone who’s just friends.” She used air quotes around the last two words to emphasize her point.

“Remind me to never talk to you two about work or relationship stuff ever again,” Jim said dejectedly.

“Oh, come on!” Emily grinned at him. “Who else would you talk to about this stuff. We’ve been your relationship counselors since high school. Remember how Mark and I came with you and your sister to prom since you were still hung up on that mystery girl?”

“Vividly,” Jim told her. “Especially the part where you got my sister to tell the whole story right there at the table at Coopers.”

Mark waved aside the stroll down memory lane. “Whatever man. You were about to tell us how you’d screwed up with her, thus wanting tonight to go well?”

Jim rubbed his eyes. “Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Wait what?” Emily looked quickly back and forth between the two. “What happened this time?”

With a sigh Jim told them about grilled cheese on the roof and the conversation the next day at her desk, which had led to Pam giving him a cold shoulder for the rest of the day and well into the next one. He told them about how much of an ass he’d felt like as he watched Pam walk away from him.

“Well what did you expect?” Emily asked.

“What?” Jim gave her a surprised look.

Emily gave a loud sigh. “Boys. Never can and never will be able to tell what a girl’s thinking. As you’ve pointed out so many times Pam is in fact engaged to another man. We’re both well aware of what you think of him. Pam probably knows that too. More than likely she’s probably feeling pretty guilty about the fact that once again she’s having a great time with a guy who is not her fiancé. Then said guy,” Emily gestured to Jim,” goes ahead and says they were out on a date. So now not only was she out with another guy, but he’s saying there’s something romantic going on. She’s been with him for a long time now. That tells me she’s loyal, probably to a fault so the idea that she was cheating on her fiancé was probably a lot for her to handle.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jim said weakly.

“Please,” Mark didn’t buy it for minute. “You’ve been head over heels in love with Pam since the first day you met her. Of course, you meant it romantically.”

Jim hung his head in defeat. “Fine, you guys win. Again! But please be cool about all this tonight. I just want her, and everyone else, to have a good time. It was stressful enough getting my boss to say he wouldn’t be here that I don’t need the rest of all this spinning around.”

He got them to agree just as two of the doc crew showed up holding their cameras. Jim introduced them to Mark and Emily. The cameramen got quick signatures from Mark and Emily allowing them to be filmed before they got their equipment ready. Very soon afterwards guests started arriving. Jim put some background music on as he promised the first few people to arrive that there would a group tour of the house. He felt himself start to relax and think that just maybe it was looking to be a good night.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Relax Pam, it’s just Jim and everyone from work. No need to be nervous. You’ve seen Jim outside of work before. He ended up in the hospital but that’s beside the point. No! This is going to a good night. I don’t have to worry about driving a drunk Roy home, or Roy making stupid comments, or...you know what I don’t have to worry about Roy. Roy is a grown man and he doesn’t need me hovering over him. This is just a going to be a fun night with my friends.

Feeling more determined Pam settled her green scarf over her shoulders and got out of her car. Judging by the number of cars around the house she assumed she was one of the last to arrive.

Hopefully that’s good thing right? Show up later than everyone else. Regardless of the fact it took me forever to figure out what I wanted to wear tonight. Are those the doc crew cars? Crap! What are they doing here? I was hoping we wouldn’t have to have them in our faces again. Wait there’s only two cars, doesn’t the doc crew come in with like four? Where are the rest? Michael! That’s it! There’s no way they’d pass up the chance to see Michael at improv. Well good luck Agent Scarn, hopefully that’ll keep the rest of them for the night.

She arrived at the door and let herself in just in time to hear Jim talking about a group tour.

“Hey,” she said in greeting. Jim immediately responded in kind. If only your face would light up like that more often, she thought as he greeted her.

“Hey! Just in time! Do you wanna go on the group tour? We were just about to leave.”

She hung her head so he couldn’t see the slight blush that formed on her cheeks. “Definitely.”

“Well the group tour is now leaving then.” Jim started walking backwards and motioned for them to follow him down the hall.

She said hello to Kevin’s fiancé and found herself following Ryan as Jim led them to the stairs while giving instructions. It was Ryan’s question that caused her to really start to pay attention.

“Hey, is Katie coming?”

Of course, Katie’s coming. Why wouldn’t she?

Jim’s quiet reply wasn’t anything she was expecting. “Um, I actually haven’t talked to her in a while.”

Wait what? Jim’s single again? She couldn't stop the ghost of a grin off her face. Interesting.

She tried to pay attention to Jim’s tour but her thoughts were anywhere but on the thread count of the towels Jim had pointed out, or the poster of Red Sox slugger David Ortiz in Mark’s room. What could have cause Jim to stop seeing Katie? They seemed really happy that day we were all in the parking lot. To happy. Damn, why’d I have to be that demonstrative with Roy. I’m still glad Roy had already planning on heading out that night anyway. He probably would have been all ‘oh Pammy you’re so hot,’ and tried to do something when we got home. But enough of that, Jim and Katie, or not so much anymore. I don’t know why. She’s really pretty. Maybe she was bad in bed or something. Of course, it would be her that would be bad in bed. I’ll bet Jim’s great.....NO!! Out of bounds thinking there girl. I mean it would be fun to think about, but no. That ring on your finger is supposed to mean something. Wait a minute, where are we? Where’d everybody go? Pam glanced around and saw she was standing by herself in Jim’s room. Holy moley I’m in Jim’s bedroom, alone. So this is where he lives. It’s nice. It feels like him. Kinda college boy-ish, but not bad. I didn’t know he played guitar! Maybe he’ll play for me one of these days. Like if we ever got back up on the roof. That was such a nice night. Why did it have to end?

She dropped her coat, scarf, and purse on the bed just before one of the cameramen came in and discovered her. Giving a mock-courtesy she addressed the camera when she saw it peaking in. “Jim’s bedroom.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Well that about wraps up the show. Thank you for coming, watch your step, and I hope you have a good time!” Jim was standing at the top of the stairs as the small group he’d led made their way back downstairs. Wait a sec, where’s Pam?

Glancing over his shoulder he saw one of the cameras aimed in his room. She’s still in there? Pam is in my room? Holy shit! Pam Beesly is in my bedroom! Get a grip man, be cool.

He quickly walked back to his room and there she was, looking at the pictures on his dresser. If this is a dream, please don’t ever let me wake up.

“See, I knew we lost someone on the tour,” he said with a grin.

She looked around for another beat. “Cool. This is your desk.”

His grin grew wider. “This is my desk.”

She nodded in response and pointed to it. “Your home office.”

“Home office, this is it.”

“Yeah, you have to sit down so I can get the full effect.”

“Okay, sure. Will do.” He turned around and sat comfortably at the small desk next to his bed.

“Okay, wait so that would make me...” she paused for a second as she walked around the other side of his bed to perch on his bedside table. “Like right here,” her smile was full on now as she mimed typing at a keyboard.

“Yeah. Yup, that feels about right.” So, does having you here.

“And then Dwight would be like-”

No! We’re not bringing him in here. “Uhh, you know what? Let’s just leave that image out of it. Because this is a happy place.” He grinned wider at her. “Happy thoughts Pam.”

She giggled at him. Just one more thing I love about her. She has such a cute laugh.

Before the moment became awkward Pam spotted something new. “Um...oh, yearbook!” At once she hopped off the end table to Jim’s bookshelf.

Okay maybe this wasn’t the best idea having her in here. “Yeah you don’t have to, um. All right. Yes, that’s not going to be awkward at all.” But there’s that smile she only gives me, so maybe not all bad. Oh, crap she’s on the bed now. Stay calm.

She quickly paged through the book until she found what she was looking for. Her laughter quickly bubbled up again. “Oh-ho-ho no!”

“Oh yeah,” he said under his breath as she looked up at him beaming.

“You were so dorky!”

“Thank you,” he said simply. The only thing that would make this better would be if those cameras would get out of here. No that’s not true, Pam being my girlfriend would make this better but yeah. Maybe just once I could get them to leave.

Jim caught the attention of one of the two cameramen that had snuck into the room. He put a pleading expression on his face and nodded his head to the door. The cameraman got the hint. Taking the camera off his shoulder he nudged his partner and they quietly left the room.

Pam looked up as she heard them leave. “Where are they off to?”

“Oh, who knows,” he replied. “Probably trying to get some good footage of Dwight.”

“That shouldn’t be that hard,” she said while turning back to the yearbook. “Any other good pictures of you in here?”

“Anymore dorky pictures you mean?”

She glanced back up and him and stuck her tongue at him before smiling and looking back down at the book. “Wait! You were on the basketball team weren't you?”

“Captain of the basketball team, thank you very much,” he corrected as he swiveled slightly from side to side.

Pam stated paging quickly through the book. “There’s got to be a team picture here somewhere. Oh! There it is! And there you are!”

“There I am.”

“Did you always wear number four?”

“I think so. It also might have been one of the only jersey’s that fit.”

“Yeah, I could see that.” Pam’s expression suddenly grew slightly confused. “Wait, what’s this?”

Jim leaned over to try and look at the picture she was pointing to. “What’s what?”

“There’s a picture here with you in it next to your team shot but it looks like someone drew a circle on the picture.” She turned the book so he could see. “It looks like a picture of you going up for a jump shot but it’s an away game judging by the fact your jersey is white not blue like in the team picture.”

Oh, holy crap! I forgot I’d circled Morgan in that picture. Jim’s memory flashed back to when he’d received the yearbook. The surprise he’d found when he realized that there was a picture of Morgan in his yearbook. It showed her just as he’d remembered. Her hair falling over the turtleneck she’d had on because rather than watching the game she was drawing in a sketchpad. She does not need to see that!

It was now his turn to hop up from his chair. He leaned over quickly and made to grab for the yearbook before she could inspect the photo closer. He kept a playful smile on his face though. “Oh no, that’s enough of you trying to get good blackmail pictures out of me Beesly.”

Pam just grinned back at him and clutched the yearbook to her chest. “No! No! You stay away! This is just too good!”

She got to her knees and started scooting backwards across the bed. Jim crouched over and walked around to the foot of his bed with a predatory smile on his face. Pam kept scooting around so she was always facing him. She quickly closed the book before hugging it to her again. He faked moving to his left before he leapt to his right. It had the desired effect. Pam had shifted the book away from his feint so it was on the side Jim was diving towards. The impact of him landing on the bed caused her to fall to her side facing him in a fit of giggles. Jim took full advantage and was able to dig the book out of her arms. He held it above her triumphantly.

“Trying to get this?” I’m laying on my bed, side by side with Pam. Don’t screw this up. Don't screw this up. Don't screw this up. Don’t screw this up. He waved it over her face. She went to grab for it, but he just moved it out of her reach. “Oh, to slow.”

She changed tactics and reached out to tickle his sides. He shifted the book to his other arm, which was laid out towards his pillows, and moved to cover his exposed side.  Pam just reached up and went to try and tickle under his arm. It worked and she was able to snatch the book back from his outstretched hand. With a bounce she was off the bed and heading for the door. Jim however was too quick for her and caught her around the waist just before she made it into the hallway. They were both laughing as he dragged her back into the bedroom.

“Give it back Beesly,” he said with his mouth near her ear. “Or else.”

“Or else what?” She said softly, not wanting other party guests or cameramen to hear the commotion.

His hands moved off her stomach to her sides. “Or else I respond in kind.” He dug a couple fingers into her sides to prove he was serious.

With a sigh she turned around to face him. She brought the yearbook up to cover her mouth and nose. “Just five more minutes of looking through it?”

Jim slackened his grip on her waist. After three years of pining and fantasies, he knew such close proximity would soon become more than a bit awkward. “Fine, but only if I get to see your yearbook one of these days. Deal?” He held a hand up.

“Deal,” She reached up and shook it.

Reluctantly, Jim released his hold on her and they went to sit back down on the bed. They spent the next five minutes going over the yearbook. Jim pointed out Mark’s picture and the mullet he’d sported as a picture day prank. He showed her a few other candid shots of him that had made it into the book along with Larissa’s picture. All to soon the five minutes was up and Pam let Jim put the yearbook away. They were about to leave his room when Jim reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn back to him.

“Hey, um Pam?”

“Yeah?”

Jim stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor for a moment before he went on. “I, uh, just wanted to apologize for what I said a couple weeks ago. About, you know, the stupid high school hockey game. It was wrong of me to say that.”

Pam was caught off guard. “Oh,” she said quietly.

“It’s just, ya know, looking through my yearbook reminded me of that, and that I never said I was sorry,” Jim was rocking on his heels slightly. “So, I’m sorry.”

She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. You were right, it was a stupid game. One I didn’t really want to go to anyway if I remember right. That and the fact that I was promised a rain check for another date by a different guy soon after that hockey game. I never got that other date, so it’s not the best of memories. I know you didn’t know that. I didn’t react well either.”

Jim gave her a sheepish smile. “Thanks. Still friends?”

She smiled back gently. “Always.”

Jim brightened up. “That reminds me.” He walked over to his desk and shuffled a few papers before coming back with a new picture in his hand. “Going back to the good parts of a couple weeks ago. Remember after we finished those grilled cheese sandwiches, I told you I had a picture of the Blue Angels from last summer? Here it is.”

The picture showed Jim, his brother and niece standing in front of six blue and yellow fighter jets. The three of them were smiling broadly at the camera from the excitement of being at the air show.

“Very cool,” Pam agreed. “Not as cool as the Man in Black, but still cool,” she said with a smirk.

They fell back into their usual playful banter as Jim put the picture back on his desk and they made their way downstairs.

_____________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later they were gathered in the living room watching as people took their turns with the karaoke machine. Pam found herself sitting next to Jim on the couch while they watched their co-workers give their favorite song renditions. It was a good time until the inevitable happened and Michael showed up.

Really Jim? How did Michael know to show up? I thought you said he wouldn’t be coming. Of course, Michael is going to grab the karaoke mic. No, I am not going to sing a duet with you. No one is. Oh, thank goodness you’re getting up Jim. Someone needs to say something. Wait, what are you doing? You’re singing with him? What’s that look? Oh Jim, that’s sweet.

Feeling a small grin on her face, Pam glanced around her. The tension that had built up since Michael’s arrival had let up. People were relaxed again as Jim and Michael sang their duet. Pam smiled wider until other thoughts entered her mind.

Does it really look like Jim and I are in some kind of secret romance? That’s what Phyllis seemed to think. We do spend a lot of time together. There’s no doubt I care about him. But, I’m with Roy. Even though Roy’s not here, again. I don’t know what to think. I said I wasn’t going to worry about all this and now I still am. What’s wrong with me? We’re friends, that’s all we ever can be. Still, it’s been a long time since I’ve had goosebumps run up my arms like when Jim whispered that, ‘or else,’ in my ear earlier.

Her thoughts ended abruptly as the song ended and Jim flopped back down next to her. She gave him a polite golf clap. “Nice job Halpert.”

He gave her his best shit-eating grin in response. “You’re up soon. What are you singing?”

“Oh, I don’t know yet. Any requests?”

Jim tapped his chin as he considered what she’d said. “Maybe one of your favorite songs from high school.”

Pam nodded her head back and forth a few times while she took another swig of her beer. “You sure about that?”

“Positive,” Jim smirked back.

“Fine, but only on one condition,” she said with a finger at his face.

“Name it.”

“You’ve got to join me for duet number two and you don’t get to see what song it is until the music starts.” She put a challenging tone to her voice and a hopeful expression on her face. It worked.

The light of competition seemed to spark in Jim’s eyes. “That’s two conditions actually, but bring it on Beesly.”

“You don’t even know what song it is. What if it’s something where you have to sing falsetto the entire time?”

Jim matched her stare for stare. “I’ve already sang a duet with Michael. I doubt anything you choose will be quite as bad as that.”

Pam raised her eyes at his comment. “Oh really?”

Jim shrugged challengingly at her. “It’s completely up to you. There’s the machine.” He waved his arm in the direction of the karaoke machine.

Once Oscar wrapped up his rendition of “Walk the Line,” and set the microphone down. Pam bounded up and snatched it before anyone could grab it first. She waved for Jim to join her as she paged through the song book. Finding what she wanted, she punched in the code for it and handed Jim the other mic.

“Turn around till the music starts,” she ordered him.

Jim did as he was bid and turned towards the breakfast bar. Ignoring the cheers and the few drunken jeers he waited until the music kicked in. When it did, he turned around to find Pam beaming at him as she sang out the first lyrics that were appearing on the screen.

“Ooh! You can dance! You can jive!
Having the time of your life!
Ooh! See that girl!
Watch that scene!
Dig in the Dancing Queen!”

He laughed at her song choice, but jumped in enthusiastically as the song went on. They just shrugged and laughed when halfway through the song Michael got up and did his best disco dance moves. The song ended to a few more cheers. Pam gave Jim a brief hug in thanks for singing with her before they resumed their seats on the couch.

“Disco? Really Bees?”

Pam had her own shit-eating grin on at this point. “You told me to pick out something I liked from high school. That was always a favorite, I don’t care how cheesy it is.”

Jim just smiled back at her. “Don’t worry, I like cheesy.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Slowly the party wrapped up. Jim and Mark called for taxis for those who couldn’t drive home. Soon the house was mostly deserted. Jim had just closed the door behind Stanley when he noticed there was still one of his co-workers left. A pleased grin bloomed on his face as he walked back to the living room.

“You know Pam, Mark and I can clean all this up.”

Pam looked up from where she had been tossing beer bottles into a garbage bag. “I know, but I figured since I got here late, I could stick around a bit longer and help clean up.”

“Thanks,” he told her. “I appreciate the help.”

Between Jim, Pam, Mark, and Emily they were able to get the house picked up in fairly short order. The Christmas lights were taken down and put away and the TV was again angled to face the couch. After the last garbage bag had been tossed into the bin, they all sat down in the living room again. Jim and Pam taking the now familiar spot on the couch while Emily perched on Mark’s lap in an armchair.

“Great party,” Pam said.

“It was,” Jim agreed. He looked over at Mark. “Told you Dwight was real.”

Mark had one arm wrapped around Emily’s waist since she was quickly nodding off on his shoulder. He brought his free hand up in a gesture of surrender. “I stand, well sit, corrected. I’ll never doubt you again when it comes to stories you bring home from your job.”

“Yeah,” Jim agreed. “They’re all a hoot, right Pam?”

Pam herself was starting nod off. She jerked her head up at the sound of her name. “Hmmm? What was that?”

 “Nothing,” Jim smiled back at her.

Mark nudged Emily who stirred and excused herself to search for her coat and purse. “Thanks for your help cleaning up Pam,” he said as he got up to follow his girlfriend. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get her home.”

Jim walked Mark and Emily to the door. Returning to the living room he saw Pam had tilted her head back and was snoozing. He was about to gently shake her awake when her buzzing cell phone did it for him.

“Hmmm, what?” Pam’s eyes opened and she dug the phone out of the pocket of her jeans. She flipped it open to read the text she’d just received.

To Jim’s eyes her expression changed from one of annoyance to exasperation and then frustration as she typed a reply and tossed the cell phone on the couch cushion. “Bad news?”

Pam had a hand on her forehead. She dropped it to her side before she looked back up at Jim. “Just the typical Friday night text from Roy. ‘Staying at Lonnie’s for the night. Don’t wait up. Hope there’s something good for breakfast tomorrow.’” She leaned forward and rested her forehead on her hands. “I told myself I wouldn’t worry about Roy tonight. It’s just hard to do sometimes. I just wanted to have a good time with everyone.”

Jim sat down next to her. He hesitated for a second, but then made up his mind and started rubbing her back with one hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s frustrating.”

Pam didn’t respond right away. When she did her voice was soft. “Mmmm, that feel nice. Thank you Jim.”

“You’re welcome.” A small smile formed on Jim’s face at her words. It soon became clear that Pam was drifting off again. “Hey, you okay to drive home? I can call for another taxi.”

“I...I think so...no, I’m not.” Pam leaned back against the couch again trapping Jim’s hand behind her. She looked over at him. “Would it be awkward if I crashed on your couch tonight?”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Jim’s mind seemed to go blank.

“Jim?” Pam asked.

He shook his head slightly to clear his stupor. “Yeah, I mean no! Of course, you’re welcome to the couch. If you want it that is. I remember you once told me Roy got kind of upset when you weren't home one time. I mean he knows you’re here at my place. You sure that’s okay?”

Pam had her eyes closed by now. She blew a stray strand of hair away from her eyes. “Oh, I’ll just tell him I’m crashing at Penny’s place. Besides he crashes at Daryll’s or Lonnie’s places all the time. But I don’t really want to talk about Roy anymore. I’m tired and just want to go to sleep.”

“Sure thing.” Jim nodded. He stuck his hands back in his pockets and shuffled nervously for a second. “I, um, I could get you a pair of my sweat pants and an old shirt if you don’t want to sleep in your jeans.”

Pam opened one eye at him. “Are they clean?”

Jim scoffed at the slight tease, glad that it had broken some of the tension he was feeling. “Of course. Stay here.” He left her on the couch and quickly made his way back to his room. Digging out the promised sleep ware he also grabbed her coat, scarf, and purse from where they were still on his floor and came back downstairs. The shirt in question was one he’d worn in a gym basketball tournament and had his last name on the back. By the time he got back downstairs Pam had nodded off again. He shook her shoulder gently. “Pam?”

She woke up again. “Hmmm?”

“Here are those clothes I promised. You left your stuff upstairs too so I got it all for you. The downstairs bathroom is free if you want to get changed while I find a pillow and blanket.”

“Okay, thanks,” she said as she got off the couch and made her way to the bathroom. She emerging a short time later changed and with her contacts out and glasses on, the case having been in her purse.

“I grabbed one the pillows off my bed and found a blanket for you,” Jim told her as she made her way back across the room.

“Thanks. I really appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome.” His reply was quiet even though his thoughts weren’t. Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to see you wearing my name on your back? Please! Can’t you see how much better you’d be with me than What’s-his-face? “I’ll be upstairs if you need anything.”

“Okay, goodnight,” Pam told him quietly as she sat down on the couch and started to arrange the pillow and blanket.

“Goodnight.”

He turned off the lights as he made his way back to the stairs and to his room. He shut the door behind him so the light from his room wouldn’t bleed downstairs. As the door closed, he let out a huge breath. Changing for bed, he tried to go to sleep but his mind was still buzzing. Sitting back up he opened his laptop. Very soon Islands in the Sun and Dancing Queen were added to the playlist he’d made for Pam. I’ll have to get to Kinko’s soon and make a copy of my yearbook picture. I’m sure she’ll love seeing it in the teapot.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Downstairs Pam had only one thought before she drifted off to sleep.

This smells nice, why can’t all pillows smell like this?

Pam,

Christmas is the time to tell people how they feel so here it is

Hey Beesly,

Hope you like these gifts.

Merry Christmas!

I found some stuff from our adventures together

Pam, I love you. I always have.

Roy’s an asshole who doesn’t appreciate you the way I do.

Jim threw his pen down on the desk cluttered with balled up scraps of paper. He just crossed off another opening line for the card in front of him. He’d been writing rough drafts, searching for the right words. The pen bounced off and rolled under his bed. With a groan Jim slid out of his chair to retrieve it. He found it next to an old grey shoebox. The sight of the box made Jim relax a shade. He reached for both the pen and the shoebox before he sat on the edge of his bed. Taking the top off the box he picked up a few of the rough drawings he’d made. One of them caught his eye though. I forgot about this one, it kinda looks like that cartoonish one I drew of Pam she keeps at her desk. After a few minutes he set them aside to read the old chat log. His phone started ringing as he was nearing the end. He answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello, this is Jim.”

“Hello, this is Larissa,” his sister mimicked back.

“Hey ‘Ris! What’s new?”

“Oh, not much. Though a little birdy told me that one Pam Beesly spent the night at your place last week. Did you finally tell how you feel about her?”

Emily, you and your big mouth, Jim grumbled to himself. “Yes, she did spend the night here. It was after the party Mark and I had here. She slept on the couch, regardless of what you may have heard otherwise, so don’t go getting any ideas. We shared some breakfast in the morning before she went home. That was it.”

“You didn't answer my question,” Larissa insisted.

Jim sighed. “No, I didn’t tell her how I feel.”

“Jim! You promised me ages ago that you would. What’s taking you so long?”

“She’s engaged!” There was some venom in Jim’s voice now. “No matter how I feel about her, she’s with Roy. Has been for years too. You want me to be that guy. The guy who breaks up an engagement. I’ve heard it from her own mouth that she loves him, not me.” Jim glanced guiltily at the rough drafts for the card he was trying to write, knowing full well that he was in fact trying very hard to be that guy.

“Hey, relax big bro. Remember, I’m on your side and always have been.”

He took a breath before he responded. “Sorry, it just...I don’t know. I’ve been feeling like this for years. It just sucks, because just about every time I see Pam and Roy together, he’s barely paying attention to her. Or he’s blowing her off. It kills me to see that happen to her time after time. I can make her laugh, I can be her friend, but I can’t do the one thing I know will make her happy.”

“You mean be with you?” Larissa asked.

“Yeah,” Jim agreed as he calmed down a bit. “But actually, I was in the middle of trying to figure out how to tell Pam right now. Remember how I told you I drew her name for Secret Santa? I’ve got a nice card I want to give her with the present I got her. I was planning on writing out what I felt in that. It’s just I don’t know what to say. Do I keep it funny? Serious? Tell her at the start or at the end? Tell her to leave Roy for me or tell her that I’ll always be there to wait for her?”

Jim heard his sister sigh this time on over the phone line. “Oh Jim, what am I going to do with you? You what you sound like right now?”

“No, what?”

“When you were back in high school trying to find Morgan.”

He glanced down at the shoebox beside him. “Funny you should mention Morgan. I was just going through that old box of stuff I kept about her.”

Jim had to pull the phone away from his ear at the shout Larissa let out. “What?! You kept all that stuff all these years?!”

Carefully he put the phone back against his head. “Yeah, I did.”

“Jim! Do you have any idea how sweet that is?”

He chuckled at her for a second. “Watch it, you’re about to sound like my co-worker Kelly.”

Larissa’s own laugh greeted him. “Do I want to know about another one of your crazy co-workers?”

“Probably not.”

“Good, anyway back to what I was saying. Right now, you sound like you did when you were trying to re-connect with Morgan. I don’t think I ever saw you quite so determined despite having so little information.”

Jim scratched his head as memories from high school came back. “Yeah, it was all I could do to not drive over to her school. Maybe I should have.”

“Maybe,” Larissa said. “Jim, let me ask you a question.”

“Okay,” he shifted back to his desk chair to have a more comfortable seat. He knew his sister’s tone of voice and this could end up being a long conversation.

“If you could have found Morgan, way back when, what would you have said to her?”

“That....” he paused for a second. “Is a very good question. I don’t know.”

“Why not? Considering how long you were hung up on her back in high school and the fact that all these years later you still remember her, surely you must have thought of something to say? Take some time. Think about it.”

He did. For several long moments he tumbled words around in his head before voicing them to his sister. “If I could have found her back in high school, it probably would have been things like why do you like to draw? What’s your favorite movie? Would you like to see said movie with me sometime? You know, normal teenage dating type stuff.
“If I could talk to her now, I’d first probably ask her if she remembered me. I kinda doubt it, considering how briefly we knew each other. I’d ask her what she ended up doing with her life. If she was happy with how her life turned out. I’d tell her I never forgot about her. That even though we only met the one time, the memory of her kind smile was always a good one, especially in hard times.”

“Good!” Larissa sounded pleased. “Now, you’ve known Pam for so much longer than you ever knew Morgan. If you can think of all that to say to a girl you only met once in high school, saying what you feel to Pam should be easy. If not, just tell her what’s in your heart.”

“And what happens if she freaks out? I not only lose any shot I might have at her, but I also lose the closest friend I’ve ever had.”

“It’s a risk, no doubt. For both you and her. Personally, I think that if you are such good friends, that regardless of what you say that won’t change. And if you do truly love her, you’ll want her to be happy, even if that not with you.”

Another sigh escaped Jim’s lips. "You know ‘Ris, one of the things I love about you so much is that you rarely sugar-coat things. It may be a punch in the gut, but you’re honest. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Tell me that again when you’re not in such an accommodating mood though and I might believe you a bit more. But seriously, I gave up my prized Boggle timer for this whole thing. I really hope it all works out for you this time.”

Jim clearly heard the smile on her face which caused him to laugh a bit as well. “Thanks, I appreciate that.” It had been a hard bargain getting her to give up the timer. She’d finally let it go only after he promised to do her laundry for a month.  They discussed a few other topics before Jim let her go. Setting his phone down he grabbed a new piece of scratch paper and began to write.

Pam,

Merry Christmas! You’re the one getting the gift, but I feel like
I’m the one getting the best present of the year. What I mean by that
is that I get to share this moment with you.
There’s only been one other time I’ve been more excited or happy than I am now.
The day we met.

You are a remarkable person. You’re fun, smart, mischievous,
beautiful, caring, and so much more. I don’t
think I could ever have enough time to fully describe it all.

You’re the reason I get up and come here every morning.
I’ve never met anyone else I’d rather spend my days with.
The way your eyes light up when you smile never fails
to brighten my day, regardless of how dark it might be.
Thank you for being the wonderful woman you are.

With all the love I possess,
Jim

Finally, he set his pen down and looked over the message. He found himself beaming at it. Sure, it’s cheesy, romantic, and kind of sappy, he thought. But that’s the whole point. The teapot and the bonus gifts for laughs. The card for us. Taking out the best pen he had, Jim carefully and slowly transcribed the message onto the card he’d bought. When it was done, he slipped the card into its envelope and tucked it in a box along with the teapot.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“You know, you really don’t have to do this. Angela would probably freak out if she knew you were helping me bring all this stuff upstairs.” Pam was looking up at Jim perched on a ladder in the warehouse.

“Relax Pam,” he called down good-naturedly as he grabbed a box off the shelf. “I don’t mind.”

She shuffled from side to side as he made his way down the ladder. “How did the Christmas decorations end up down here anyway? I swore we put them in the upstairs supply closest last year.”

Jim shrugged as he set the box down next to the other ones he’d already brought down from the shelf. “Maybe Creed got into the closet again. Is that all of them?”

Pam kneeled down to open the box and see which decorations were inside. She shook her head. “No, there’s at least one more. Michael wanted those tinsel-like garlands all around the office for the party tomorrow. They’re probably in a black and white box with a cream label with a picture of a chocolate bar on it.”

“Okay, let me go back up and check.” Jim turned to start climbing the ladder again. “That’s a weird color for a box of Christmas decorations.”

“No kidding,” she agreed as she stood up. “That’s the reason why Kevin’s not allowed on the Party Planning Committee anymore.”

“That’s right,” Jim snapped his fingers as the memory came to him. He got it into his head that every little thing was part of a prank war so he switched all the boxes around.” Jim clapped a hand to his head as the instance the previous year came back to him. The motion however caused the ladder to sway a touch. “Huh, I forgot about that.”

“Careful,” Pam called to him.

Jim’s voice was muffled due to leaning forward to reach for the box at the back of the shelf. “Worried about me Beesly? I’m flattered. Don’t worry though. After all it only took, like what seventeen times for me to go up and down this ladder to find the right shelf for all this stuff? I’m quite happy to climb up again for number eighteen.”

“Of course, I’m worried about you. With all the budget cuts we’ve had this year I don’t trust that ladder. You could fall, hit your head, and wind up with, I don’t know, amnesia or something and wake up not remembering, like, the last three years of your life or something like that!”

Jim paused at the top of the ladder grinning down at her. “Wow! Really? Sounds like the plot from a soap opera or something. What’s next? Masked gunmen rush into the office and hold us all hostage while they plant a bomb?”

“You have got to be the biggest dork I’ve ever met.” She was grinning back at him. That was until she saw how fast he was climbing down the ladder with the last box in his hand. “Slowly Halpert! You need to take things slow when you’re going down or getting off of those rickety ladders.”

By the time she was done talking however Jim had reached the bottom and nimbly hopped off the last rung. With a wink and a grin, he offered the box to her for inspection. “Just another day in paradise.”

Pam let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. She swatted his arm as he set the box down. “I thought I was going to faint or something. You'd have had to wake me up and then explain to everyone what happened. Maybe I would have been the one with amnesia. Then what would you have done?”

“Sit outside your hospital room all day, what else?” Jim smirked. “Did I get the right box?”

“You did,” Pam said after she peaked inside. “Still going to help me carry all these upstairs? I’d ask Roy, but he’s out on deliveries for the rest of the day and might not be back till late.”

Jim bent down and stacked some of the smaller boxes on larger ones. “Didn’t you guys drive together today?”

Pam nodded as she picked up a few boxes. “Yeah, he did say he’d try to be back by quitting time. But with all the decorations to put up and that huge stack of Christmas cards Michael wants me to send out, I don’t know if I’ll be done by quitting time.”

“I can stay and help if you want,” Jim said as they made their way back up the stairs to the office. “Give you a ride home too if you need one.”

“That would be great! I’ll text him at lunch to let him know. Thanks Jim.”

“Anytime.”

Jim and Pam set the boxes down behind her desk once they made it back upstairs. They ate their lunch together while Pam sent off her text to Roy. Their lunch break was ending when Jim noticed Pam kept glancing at her phone.

“Did he not respond yet?”

“Not a word,” Pam confirmed. “I mean I know he’s busy, and I don’t want him to text and drive or anything, but something to let me know he heard me would be nice.”

He reached over the table to put a comforting arm on her shoulder. “Hey, I’ve got an idea that should cheer you up. I got a peak at Dwight’s planner. He’s got sales call scheduled every morning next week. We could get all those nickels out of his phone before he gets back one of those days.”

Pam’s demeanor instantly changed and her face lit up. “Yeah! Unless you want to wait a little longer?”

“I’m going to run out of nickels soon.” Jim was shaking the crumbs out of the zip lock back he’d brought his sandwich in that day. “Might as well get it done soon. We can put the coins in this bag. The longer we wait, the more time he’ll have to figure out what we’re doing.”

Jim spent the rest of the afternoon helping Pam decorate the office for Christmas. Garlands, ornaments, stars, and other holiday decorations slowly made their way onto the walls. Angela shot them a few dirty looks, but they’d long since perfected the skill of ignoring those. After the main office was completed, they moved onto the conference room. It was past five when they finished. They stood by Pam’s desk admiring their handiwork.

“Nice job Beesly.”

“Thanks,” she said cheerfully. “It was great of you to help me out. I still have those Christmas cards to do, but they can wait for tomorrow.”

Since they were the last to leave, Pam locked the door behind them. “Still nothing from Roy,” she said as they stepped into the elevator. “Looks like I’ll be needing that ride.”

“Not a problem at all,” Jim said with a grin. He held the passenger door open for her when they arrived at his car.

“Thanks,” Pam smiled at him. “Did your Mom teach you to always hold a door for a lady?” She asked as Jim climbed in the driver's seat.

“My Dad actually,” he replied as they drove out of the parking lot. “Didn’t really take with Tom and Pete. Probably stuck more with me since I drove Larissa around a lot more than they did back when we were growing up.”

“Remind me to thank her too next time I see her.” Pam reached over and turned on Jim’s iPod. Taking some time to scroll through her options she finally settled on Pinball Wizard, by The Who. The opening guitar riff was starting up as she set the device back down in a cupholder.

“Classic rock?” Jim raised an eyebrow at her. “Not that I’m complaining, but wouldn’t Christmas be more appropriate after how we spent the afternoon?”

“I’m kind of Christmas-ed out right now.” Pam admitted. “You sure you don’t mind me picking the music? Roy always hates it whenever I even suggest changing the radio. It’s always, ‘My truck, my music,’”

Jim glanced over at her since they were at a stop light. “Anytime you’re in my car, feel free to choose whatever you want. After all you’re picking stuff off my iPod, so it’s not like I don’t like the music on there.”

“Cool, thanks,” Pam beamed at him. A sight ahead of them caught her eye. “Hey would you mind pulling in to McDonald’s? Lunch feels like forever ago and I could go for some McNuggets.”

“Drive-thru or eat in?” Jim was already slowing down to make the turn into the McDonalds parking lot.

“Oh, let’s eat in. It’s been a long day and I wouldn’t want to spill Sweet-n-Sour sauce over your seats.”

Soon dinner was finished and Jim dropped Pam off at her apartment. She waved good-bye from her doorway. Jim waited until she was safely inside before he drove home himself.

_____________________________________________________________________________

This is it, don’t get scared now. Jim pulled into the parking lot the next day and as usual scanned the lot for Pam’s car. There it was, parked in its usual spot near the front door. Taking a deep breath, he parked his own car before heading inside. In the elevator he made sure Pam’s teapot was safely hidden in his messenger bag. He would have wrapped the gift at home, but the doc crew had insisted everyone bring their presents unwrapped so they could get shots of what people were giving others. Walking into the office he saw Pam had put on her favorite light pink sweater. For some reason he always associated her wearing that sweater, with her being in a cheerful mood. Taking it as a good omen, he greeted her warmly.

“Morning Pam. The place looks great!”

She smiled up at him from the stack of Christmas cards she was stuffing into envelopes. “Thanks. I was able to con this really great guy into helping me decorate yesterday. He’s tall so he was able to reach all the high up stuff.”

His eyebrows raised as he hung up his coat. “Ooh, nice guy?”

She shook her head in a non-committal sort of way. “Ehh, nice enough I suppose. Kind of boring. The first time I ever met him he said his favorite thing to do was to hit up soccer moms.”

Jim laughed at her quick wit. “It was either that or be a hand model talent scout if I recall.”

Pam was grinning back at him. “Yeah, that was fun. Are you finally going to let me know who you’ve got for Secret Santa?”

“You’ll find out along with everyone else this afternoon,” he had grabbed his morning jelly beans and was walking backwards to his desk as he replied. “Patience young Beesly. All will be reveled in time.”

The camera crew were quick to pull Jim aside for the first of the Secret Santa interviews. The camera crew wanted to do the interview in the conference room but Jim was able to convince them to move to the break room. Last thing I want is for Pam to look up and see what’s in here before its time, he thought as he explained a few of the items to the camera. After the camera left, he finished wrapping the box before taking it back to his desk. Dwight was still vacuuming up stray pine needles as others took their turns. Pam flashed him a quick smile when she was called into the conference room for her turn. He hoped to catch her eye when she left, but right after she was done with her interview the Party Planning Committe gathered in the room to finalize the last details for the party. What would normally be a boring day flew by for him until at last 4:00 rolled around and the office staff gathered around the tree to kick off their Christmas party.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“I think the tree looks nice.” Michael, it’s Christmas and you still can’t be nice. Pam gently rubbed Phyllis’ arm when she saw the camera pan away from them and point at Michael. She pulled up a chair as Dwight reached for the first gift and gave it to Oscar. She looked on politely as the accountant received his gift. When Jim received his shirt from Creed she’d had to put her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

You’ve got to wear that to the next party, she thought.

"Pam!” Dwight’s voice cut through her thoughts.

Yay! She started grinning as her gift was passed to her. Quickly she ripped open the paper to reveal the white box inside. I love this part. The lid opened and she pulled some tissue paper away. Sitting in the box, was a small teal teapot. At once she felt her slight grin grow from ear to ear.

“Oh my god! Jim! How did I not see that? She picked it up to show it off. “Thank you very much, Santa, whoever you are.” She turned and faced Jim who was beaming at her. She quickly nodded at him. “It’s awesome.”

“There’s a little more to it,” Jim was pointing at it but Dwight cut him off to hand out the next present..

She looked on as Ryan opened his iPod, but she wasn’t really paying attention. Aw Jim, this is so sweet. Wait a minute, I remember when we saw this first. It was right before he almost died. The thought sobered her for a minute. Do I really want something on my desk that reminds me of that night?

She set the teapot back inside its box and looked up just in time to see Michael throw his hissy fit and storm out of the office. She watched as Creed and Jim were called into the conference room to do a quick reaction shot for his gift. When they got back, she sat around like everyone else in awkward silence until Michael came back and explained the rules for his version of Yankee Swap

Okay, I know it’s awesome and all Jim, but I’m kinda glad Merideth just grabbed that from me. Oh, what do I want? You know what? The heck with it, might as well go big.

“I’ll take the iPod.” This will be great! Now I can choose my own music whenever Jim gives me a ride anywhere. Not that his music is bad, just there’s things I’d like that he doesn’t have. We could even watch things on this during lunch. After all he’s shared his iPod with me often enough, it’s well past time I returned the favor.

It didn’t really surprise her when the iPod was stolen from her in turn. She opened the biggest gift still available to reveal a footbath. This will still be nice. The game wore on with other gifts being opened or stolen. However, she felt there was something off.  She glanced over at Jim. His previous smile was gone. He didn’t object when Creed took the shirt back from him. He leaned forward and picked the nearest gift to him.

“A keychain, yay,” he said with a flat tone of voice.

Oh Jim, it’s not that bad. Christmas is supposed to be fun. Not two weeks ago you were just going along with Michaels antics. What’s up with you this time? What was that? Oh fine Kev, you can have this thing. Slowly she handed the foot bath over to Kevin.

Dwight spoke up again. “Pam! Steal something or pick the final gift.”

Don’t worry Jim, we’ll be able to share tons of music now.  “I want the iPod!”

The last thing she expected was for him to call out to her. “Sure, you don’t want the teapot?”

She looked over at him as Kelly handed it over. “I mean it’s an iPod, sorry.”

“Right,” he said at the same time. “No, no definitely.”

There’s the grin I know. See? It’s okay, right? She thought as she took her seat again. Pam started looking at the box as the last gifts were stolen. Her head came up again as she heard Jim’s voice.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Wait what happened? Looking across the circle she saw Dwight now had the teapot box in hand. Oscar leaned forward to claim the last gift and end the game. She looked down at the iPod box again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look quite like that. Phyllis took the end of the game as her cue to rush into the women’s restroom. Pam joined with her co-workers in berating Michael. The circle broke up quickly after that. Across the office her co-workers were trying to trade for gifts they either wanted or didn’t want. Angela was busy setting out food and punch in the conference room. Michael left soon after, but her thoughts were still running at Jim’s last comment as she returned to her desk. She opened the box to her new iPod and spent the next few minutes going over the manual and starting to figure out its features while she tried to figure out what had just happened.

‘We all bought gifts for specific people.’ Wait a second. Just because my first thought about the teapot was of Jim almost dying doesn’t mean it was his. Shoot! He even said as much. He said the teapot was one of the good things he remembered about that day. What have I done?

Once more her thoughts were interrupted as a new voice cut through. “Pammy! We just finished up downstairs! Daryl and I thought we’d crash your guy’s party. You guys got anything to drink up here?”

Pam looked up to see Roy walking up to her desk. “Yeah. It’s over in the conference room, Come on I’ll get you guys a cup.”

Punch retrieved she led them out where they sat on some wooden file cabinets. She told them how the Secret Santa had devolved into Yankee Swap while sipping on her own cup of punch.

“So, what did you end up getting babe?” Roy asked.

Despite her feeling of unease Pam felt the corners of her mouth creep upwards. “I got lucky and got the iPod. It’s back at my desk. Come on I’ll show it to you.”

She led him back over to her desk and reached over the counter to grab her new iPod. He leaned over the counter with her as she opened the iPod box. Roy, for once just please be happy for me. This party’s been kind of a drag.

“This is awesome,” Roy murmured to her.

Quick, think of something.  “I know, it’s totally going to change the way I work out.”

“Yeah, and I was going to get you one of these for Christmas. Now I don’t have to. I’m going to save a ton of money.”

He was going to get me one of these? See you can still be sweet.  “What are you going to get me instead?”

“I don’t know. Probably, like a sweater or something.”

A sweater? Really? I have a closet full of sweaters. And this thing costs $400. Is he now going to get me a $400 sweater? Just great.

Roy tapped her shoulder after Michael came back in with his box of vodka. “Hey! Come on! Daryl’s over in the kitchen. You can show that new iPod to him.”

She packed up the papers and put them back in the box and followed Roy to the kitchen. Before she had a chance to talk, Daryl and Roy started getting into a conversation about the fantasy football league the warehouse had going on. Pam tried to follow the conversation but realized quickly she was being ignored. She looked back out the window to the main office and her spirt fell just a little more. Dwight was peeling the sticker off the bottom of the teapot. Behind him Jim was sitting at his desk, staring at a computer monitor that didn’t have anything on it.

Oh Jim. You don’t have to sulk at your desk like that. Parties are supposed to be fun. Wait, I did this. No! I’ve got to fix this.

She stood up from her perch leaning against the counter and was about to find Dwight when she felt Roy’s hand gently grab her arm.

“Hey! Where you going? I thought you wanted to show your new iPod to Daryl” Roy was smiling at her before he turned to the other man. “You should see this thing man. It’s one of the new one’s you can watch videos on too. We’ll be able to load up games and go over them play by play during lunch. Go ahead show it to him Pammy.”

Stuck by not wanting to seem rude, Pam pulled out the device and showed it to Daryl. The other two men kept talking, but she wasn’t really listening to them. Her own thoughts covered were still racing. No, we won’t. Even if I can’t trade it to Dwight, this is MY iPod not his.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Jim tossed his new keychain down on his desk. He heard it skitter across the surface, but at the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care where it landed. Damnit Michael! Just once, just one time, can you please not try to make everything about you. This was going to be a great day and you fucking ruined it!

A flash of light burst through his thoughts. Michael was standing over him with his camera with one of the doc crew members in tow. “And here’s Jim! Holy moly coaly, why the long face? It’s a par-tay!”

“Holy moly what?” Jim looked up at his boss with a very confused expression on his face.

“Coaly, you know ‘cause Santa brings coal to the naughty girls and boys.” Michael leaned forward to lightly punch Jim on the arm. Jim just looked up at his boss blankly. “Not in the Christmas spirit then? Gotta keep one foot on the ground, right? Need a more practical kind of magic than Christmas magic?” When Jim didn’t respond Michael’s, expression fell. “Jim, come on! Lately whenever I’m with you, you’re bringing the fun down. Wait, are you sick? Running a fever? I know a doctor who’ll make a house call if you want.”

Jim felt himself start to glare. “I’m not sick and I don’t have a fever. I’m just upset, at you!”

Michael didn’t hear Jim’s last comment. He was busy paging through the pictures he’d already taken on his camera. “Huh? What was that Jimbo?”

“Nothing,” Jim leaned back into his chair. “Forget it.”

Michael was soon off to bother other people leaving Jim by himself again. Dwight is going to use Pam’s teapot to clean his nose. I think I might want to hurl. He’ll have read the note! What if he gives it to her? Sonofabitch! Why did I ever think it would be a good idea to put that in there. I’ve got to get it back.

He got up and walked over to the reception desk. He’d seen Pam in the kitchen with Roy so he knew he wouldn’t get caught snooping. But he didn’t find anything out of the ordinary. With another huff, he sat down on the couch next to the reception desk. He only barely glanced up when Oscar sat down next to him or when Michael ran back in and snapped another picture. Some party.

“Yippie-ki-yay,” he said under his breath.

“What was that?”

 He’d been so busy sulking he hadn’t realized Pam had returned to her desk. She was standing in front of him with the iPod box in her hand. Great rub salt in the wound.

“What was what?” he asked her.

“It sounded like you said something.” She raised her eyebrows slightly at him.

“No, it was nothing.”

“Oh! Well just to warn you, they’re about to do shots on my desk, so if you’re smart, you’d get out of the area while you still can.”

He couldn’t help it and a small smirk turned the corner of his mouth up. “Yeah thanks. Maybe I’ll just stay in the background and watch the show though.”

“You do that.” She then reached out and put a warm hand on his arm and gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry Jim. I know the party started out kinda rough, but give it time. You never know when things might turn around.”

Maybe they will Beesly. Jim stood up and walked around the group at the reception desk to watch as some of his co-workers lined up shot glasses and started downing more of the vodka.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Pam caught up with Dwight as he was leaving the bathroom. “Dwight! I need to talk to you.”

“What about?” Dwight had a suspicious look on his face.

“I want to trade.” Pam held out the box that contained the iPod.

“Really? Why? Is there something wrong with the iPod? Did you and Jim do something to it? Is it broken already?”

Pam cut him off before he really got going. “Dwight! No! None of that. It’s just that this was the gift that Michael bought and I think I heard him say he wanted you to have it.”

That got Dwight’s attention. “He did? When? How? Where did you hear this?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Pam tried to shrug off the questions. “What do you say? Teapot for iPod?” She even slid the iPod out of the box to prove it was still there.

Dwight glanced down at the box Pam was wiggling back and forth. “Fine! I accept! I must warn you, I’ve already been practicing clearing out my sinus cavities with the teapot. It would do you well to clean the spout before you attempt to do the same.”

“Uhh, sure.” Pam replied. “So, where’s the teapot?”

“I left it at my desk, along with the box it came in. Follow me Pamela.”

Pam followed him out of the kitchen to his desk. Glancing up she saw Jim was still watching the antics of the crowd gathered around the reception desk. She quickly made the swap with Dwight and turned back around. I don’t know or care if Dwight was kidding. This spout needs to be cleaned.

It was the work of a few moments to return to the kitchen and wet some paper towels and wipe off the spout of her new teapot. She held it up to her eye for a moment. It is a really nice gift. Jim will be so glad I’ve got it back. Oh look, my desk is clear. I can get it back there.

She threw away the last vestiges of the wrapping paper. Crossing the main office, she sat down at her desk and was about to give the teapot a closer inspection when she saw Jim walking up to her desk.

“You know, you don’t have to answer calls during a party. Just thought you should know.”

That’s better Jim. She thought as his appearance caused her to let out a small laugh before she looked back up at him. “Oh. No, I was just um, checking out my present.” This should cheer you up even more.

She set the teapot on her counter and kept her eyes glued on him to gauge his reaction. The small shake of his head was nothing compared to the radiant smile that blossomed on his face.

“But..”

“I traded with Dwight. Um, just...I figured, you know, you went to a lot of trouble and it means a lot.” By now Jim was leaning over the desk like he normally did, his expression one of pure joy. “And also, Roy got me an iPod, or was going to get me an iPod, so...” Shoot why did I bring that up? Please Jim, don’t be mad.

“Well either way. This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts.” Bonus gifts? What? Pam felt her pulse quicken. Excitement was building up as Jim tapped the top of the teapot. “Look inside.”

She rose to her feet not caring who saw how wide her smile had become. Pulling the tape off she opened lid and peered inside. Instantly warmth spread through her heart when she saw what was waiting for her.

“Oh my god! The yearbook picture!”

“Yes!” Jim’s voice was now back to the rich warmth she usually heard.

“That’s incredible!” She looked in again and saw more treasures waiting for her. No way!  “Is this the Boggle timer?”

“I didn’t think you were going to get that one, I really didn’t.”

“Oh no!” Joy was spilling out of her voice now too. “This is like the best present ever. Okay, wait. What is this?” She pulled out a small pencil.

“A mini golf pencil that you threw at me.”

I still have that scorecard!  “Like, three years ago? You saved this?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Oh my god!” Looking back in the teapot she dug out the last items and laid them out. “No way! You didn’t!” She held up the two packets of hot sauce.

“Oh yeah I did! I told you I still had them.”

She held up the cassette. “What’s this?”

“That,” he tapped it. “Is a mixtape. On one side, all of your bonus gifts have their own song. On the other side are some other songs I think you’ll like.

This is so much better than an iPod. Oh, what the hell. He earned it. She set the cassette down and walked around her desk. Still grinning ear to ear she threw her arms around him and raised up on her toes to kiss his cheek. She held the hug until she felt his own arms come around her to return it. Holding the hug for one more beat she finally let go and looked back up at him still beaming.

“Thank you, Jim. No one’s ever done something so sweet for me.”

He gave her the cock-eyed smirk she’d long thought was her favorite Jim smile. “You’re welcome. Merry Christmas Pam.”

She didn’t say anything, just leaned forward to give him another, shorter, hug. Letting go for the second time she walked around her desk to carefully put the bonus gifts back in the box. She held the teapot up to the level of her face. “Every time I use this, I’ll think of you.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Finally, something went my way. Yeah, I chickened out about the card, but, holy moly coaly! She kissed me again. That makes this all worth it. Please think of me every time you use that. That’s the whole point.

“I’m so sorry I kept going for the iPod rather than this.” Pam told him after she set the teapot back down on her desk. “I thought that if I had my own iPod then I could use that whenever you needed to drive me somewhere rather than always having to use yours.”

That’s why she kept going for it? Wow! “Don’t worry about that. I’m just glad you got your real present in the end.”

“Me too.”

I’d give you a thousand more teapots if it meant you would keep smiling like that at me forever.

A noise made them both look over towards the back of the room. Unbeknownst to them the cameras had caught the whole exchange. Jim looked back at Pam, embarrassment on his face. “Um, I think the cameras caught all that.”

She glanced over his shoulder at the camera aimed at them. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort them out.” She grabbed her teapot and walked over to the producer. Jim didn’t hear what she said, but she soon departed with the producer and a cameraman in tow, heading for the conference room.

Pretty good party after all. His eye caught the outline of his new keychain still laying on his desk. Maybe there’s some good luck with clovers after all. I certainly appreciate that clover. Good things happened when it showed up. Hope it always stays that way.

______________________________________________________________________________

Pam was just leaving the conference room when saw Roy walking towards her with a concerned expression on his face.

“Hey babe. Why does Schrute have our new iPod.” He glanced at the teapot in her hand. “And what are you doing with that?”

Our iPod? Think again. She looked at him squarely but spoke calmly. “First off, it’s not our, iPod, it would have been MY iPod. I heard you talking to Daryl about wanting to put games and stuff on it. I can tell you right now that wouldn’t have happened. Second, I traded the iPod to Dwight. The iPod wasn’t my original Secret Santa gift anyway and I felt bad about that.”

Roy looked at her with a confused expression. “So, you traded an iPod for a teapot?”

“Yes, I did. I’ve been telling everyone, including you, how much I’d like to have my own teapot so I can have tea at my desk. Besides, you said you were going to get me an iPod anyway. So now you can just do that like you were going to in the first place.”

He shook his head at her in disbelief and walked away. Pam watched him go. Funny, you’d think I’d be more upset that just happened. No, it’s Christmas and my best friend just gave me the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten. Right now, I choose to be happy, and it’s Jim who made me happy. That’s a good thing.

The party went on for a bit longer. Pam stayed close to Jim for the rest of the night. She even offered him a ride to Poor Richards when the party moved there. They spent the ride over listening to her new mixtape. She was secretly glad Roy had offered to bring a drunk Todd Packer back to his hotel. She gave Jim a ride back to his car after they were done at the bar so they could keep listening to the mixtape.

Pam walked him back to his car. The smile she’d had on her face since they’d looked through the bonus gifts still intact. “Thanks again for the teapot Jim. I love it.”

“I’m very glad to hear that.” He smiled back at her. “As soon as I pulled your name for Secret Santa, I knew I wanted to get you something special.”

“It’s very special.” She leaned forward to give him another hug that he gladly returned. It didn’t last long, and despite the fact it was still snowing, neither one of them felt the cold during the sweet embrace.

Knock!! Knock!!

Penny Beesly’s eyes opened with a start at the sound of the knock at her door. No one had called to be buzzed in. Glancing at the clock on her bedside table she groaned when she saw it was well after midnight. Flipping on a lamp she started climbing out of bed while grousing to herself.

“Who the hell is that, this late, and why didn’t they buzz first?”

Her question was answered when she heard a voice coming from the other side of the door.

“Penny? Are you there? Please be there?”

Recognizing the voice, Penny all but dashed out of her bedroom to her door. She opened it to see her big sister on the other side. “Pam? What are you doing here?”

It was then that Penny noticed something was wrong with her sister. The blue dress she was wearing looked wrinkled. Her hair was down but looked like she’d been constantly pulling on it or running her hands through the soft curls till it was a mess. More importantly, her face and eyes were red and flushed. Clearly Pam had been crying, and a lot by the looks of it.

Pam didn’t answer her sister. Instead she just surged forward and wrapped her arms around Penny’s shoulders. Penny felt wetness spreading on her shoulder as more tears leaked from Pam’s eyes. Closing the door behind them, Penny brought her own arms around Pam and rocked her from side to side for a few moments before leaning back.

“Hey, why don’t we sit down? You look like you’re about to collapse on your feet.” Penny led them to her couch. Setting Pam down on one end she perched on the middle cushion so she’d be close to her sister.

“Thanks,” Pam said weakly.

Penny reached out a hand and squeezed Pam’s thigh. “No problem. How’d you even get in? I don’t remember anyone buzzing to be let in.”

Pam was looking down at her lap, unable to meet her sister’s eye. “Someone was coming out just as I got there,” she said simply.

“Oh, okay then. What’s going on?” Penny asked gently while passing over a box of tissues.

Pam blew her nose before she finally looked up at her sister. She took a sobbing breath before she spoke. “Jim kissed me.”

Penny felt her eyes grow wide. “Oh! Wow! Umm. Just like that? Walked up and kissed you?”

Pam shook her head as she blew her nose again. “No! That was after he told me he’s in love with me.”

“I’m sorry what?” Penny’s eyes grew even wider.

“Yeah,” Pam was blotting her eyes. “We had that casino thing at work tonight and we were both having a really good time. Roy had just left and Jim and I were just standing there in the parking lot. He started talking like everything was normal, then got really serious all of a sudden and told me he’s in love with me.”

“What did you do?” Penny had scooted closer to her sister.

“I didn’t know what to do!” Fresh tears brimmed in Pam’s eyes. “I’m not even really sure what I said. I mean I’m getting married in three weeks and after such a great night he says this now? I think I said something like I was sorry I if I made it feel like...he misinterpreted our friendship. I tried to tell him how much his friendship meant to me, but it was then that he started breaking down.”

“Go on,” Penny encouraged.

Pam had to take a few more deep breaths before she was able to keep talking. “He told me he wanted more than that. I told him, ‘I can’t,’ and he just walked away. In all the years I’ve known Jim I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry. But he had a tear in his eye when he walked away from me.”

Penny was rubbing Pam’s leg now. “Wait a minute I though you said he kissed you.”

“I’m getting there.” Pam took a few more breaths. “I went up to the office and called Mom. I told her all of that.”

“What did she say?”

“She asked me if I was in love with him too,” Pam was back to looking at her lap. Penny didn’t say anything in reply. Just nodded at Pam for her to keep talking. “I told Mom that yeah, I think I am in love with Jim. That’s when he came into the office. I put the phone down and next thing I know Jim’s kissing me.
“Penny, I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that. I mean it was just...” Pam trailed off. “At least until I started kissing him back.”

“Wait! What?!” Penny had to lean back in surprise. “You kissed him back?”

Pam nodded. “I mean, I’ll be honest, I’ve wondered more than a few times what kissing Jim would be like.”

“Yeah,” Penny was leaning in now.

“Penny!” Pam had caught the note of expectation in her sister’s face. It caused a new round of tears to spring to her eyes. “I can’t think of Jim like that. I’m engaged! I’ve been with Roy since high school! I cheated on him! I’m getting married in three weeks. Your bridesmaid dress is in your closet!”

“Sorry,” Penny said and settled back to her couch cushion.

“So, he told me he’d been wanted to kiss me for a long time. I think I said I had too, something like that. He leaned in to kiss me again but this time I stopped him. He asked if I was really going to marry Roy.” Pam broke down in sobs again.

When she finished, Penny reached out her hand again. “What did you say?”

“Nothing!” Pam screamed. “I didn’t say anything! I just nodded at him. He said, ‘okay,’ and just walked away. Nothing else! Just walked away. I dropped to the floor and started crying. I couldn’t go home and face Roy after that like it was no big deal. So, I walked here. But Jim just left! I mean how does he get to do that?! Drop something that huge and just walk away!”

Penny didn’t say anything for a long while. Pam was crying again, so Penny just stayed where she was, rubbing her sister’s leg. Finally, she broke the silence. “What kind of answer do you want?”

“What?” Pam looked up.

“Do you want me to answer your questions logically? Try to say what Jim might have been thinking? Or do you want me to just lean over hug you and tell you Jim’s a jackass!”

“Jim is not a jackass!” There was some venom in Pam’s voice.

Penny backed up and put her hands up. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to imply otherwise.”

Pam let her head fall back into her hands. “I didn’t know what to do! Jim is the sweetest most caring guy I’ve ever met. But I’m engaged to Roy. I...I...I...just don’t know!”

“Hey,” Penny said as Pam’s head sagged forward. Penny caught in and held her sister to her. “You don’t have to figure everything out now. It’s late anyway. I’ve got some clothes you can borrow if you want to get out of that dress.”

Nodding, Pam let her sister pull her off the couch. Soon Pam was curled under the covers of Penny’s guest bed. Penny stood in the doorway of the room watching her sister sleep. She made sure Pam was fast asleep when she silently closed the door and made her way back to her room. Picking up her cell phone she sent out a few urgent text messages and made a call. After staying awake long enough to get replies, she too settled down to sleep the rest of the night away.

_____________________________________________________________________________

It was the smell of fresh coffee that finally cut through the haze of sleep. Pam rolled over and blinked a few times. Her eyes felt a little dry from sleeping in her contacts. Looking around she saw where she was. At once the events of the previous night hit her like a thunderclap and she pulled the covers back over her head. The last thing she wanted to was face the world. A soft knock on the door went unanswered.

“Pam? Honey? Are you awake yet?”

What the hell is Mom doing here? The sound of her mother’s voice cut through the fog in her mind to send Pam walking to the door. Helene Beesly stood on the other side holding a steaming cup of coffee.

“Good morning. We figured you could use a cup.”

Taking the offered mug, Pam sipped it slowly. Her mother had fixed just how she always liked it, with just the right sprinkle of cinnamon. “Thanks,” she said weakly.

“You’re welcome.” Helene nodded down the hall. “C’mon, everyone’s here.” She turned and left Pam standing in the doorway.

“Wait what!?”

Pam almost spilled her coffee as she followed her mother out to Penny’s living room. Penny was in the kitchen fixing her own mug of coffee. What Pam wasn’t expecting was her old college roommate Rachel and longtime friend Isabell perched on the couch. Penny had dragged three more chairs around her coffee table creating a circle. As soon as they saw her, Rachel and Isabel rushed to their feet and swooped on Pam in a multi-arm hug.

“Hey girl,” Isabel said into Pam’s hair. “I heard you had a rough night last night.”

“When Penny texted us we knew we had to be here for you,” Rachel said from Pam’s other side.

“You called everyone?” Pam shot at her sister from under the embrace of her friends. “You told them everything!?”

“Not everything,” Penny said coolly. “I just told them and Mom, that you’d had a really bad night and would need some help today. Everyone got here about an hour ago.”

“Thank guys,” Pam told Rachel and Isabel while getting out of their grasp. “What do you two know about last night?”

“Honestly not much,” Rachel spoke up. “Just that you’re having guy troubles. With the wedding so close we need to make sure you’re where you need to be.”

“Huh,” Pam scoffed as she sat down in the middle chair and took another sip of her coffee. “I’m nowhere near where I need to be.”

“So, tell us about it,” Isabel said as she and Rachel resumed their seats on the couch.

Pam took another fortifying sip of coffee before she told her two friends of the events of the previous night. The tension that had built up in her shoulders had started to ease as she retold the events. To their credit, Rachel and Isabel let Pam talk and refrained from cutting in while Pam recounted her tale.

“So, I walked here, cried on Penny’s shoulder for a while. By then I was too tired to do anything else so I just crashed until now,” Pam finished.

“Wow, Pam!” Rachel’s eyes were huge. “That’s one hell of a night.”

“Don’t I know it,” Pam agreed while holding her mug to her lips.

“The question now is what’s going to happen.” Helene spoke up. She had taken one of the chairs on Pam’s side while Pam had been talking. She looked over at her eldest daughter. “There’s clearly a lot that needs to be sorted out. Yes, we know you’re engaged and the wedding is close. But last night you admitted to me you’re in love with a man who is not your fiancé. So, if you’ll let us, we’d all like to help you figure things out.”

Pam looked around the room of women who had come to help her out. For the first time in hours she felt the corners of her mouth creep up in thanks of their being so ready to support her.

“Thanks,” was all she was able to say.

It looked like Penny was about to speak when Pam’s phone rang from where it was sitting on the coffee table. The caller ID showed it was Roy calling. Pam was about to reach for it, but her mother was faster.

“Pam’s phone.”

“Roy how many times have I told you to drop the whole Mrs. B thing? You’re not in grade school any longer and we’re both adults.”

“She’s with me and her sister.”

“Probably not till later today if not sometime tomorrow.”

“Pour cereal into a bowl, pour in milk and eat, that’s how.”

“I’m sure that will be fine.”

“No, go have fun with your friends tonight Roy, we’ll take care of Pam.”

“You do remember she doesn’t really like being called Pammy, right?”

“Well next time you see her don’t try to remember, actually remember.”

“No, she’s not available to take a call right now.”

“I’m sure I’m sure.”

“Because right now she doesn’t want to see you or any guy for that matter.”

“I’m her mother, that’s how I know.”

“Roy, Roy, ROY! Stop flying off the handle for a moment and listen. I’ve told you Pam is with me and her sister. We wouldn’t let anything happen to her and if anything did, you’d be our first call anyway. Just because you two are engaged and about to be married doesn’t mean you get to control her every move.”

“I will talk to you like that when you’re behaving like a spoiled two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum. I’m going to turn off Pam’s phone now. Goodbye.”

With that Helen ended the call, turned off the phone, and snapped it shut. “There now, that wasn’t so hard,” she said to the group of ladies. Most of them were staring back at her with wide eyes.

“Is he always like that?” Rachel asked. Eye’s turned shifted from Helene to Pam, who was staring down into her coffee mug avoiding their stares.

“Pam?” Isabel asked into the silence.

“Not a lot, but sometimes,” Pam finally spoke while still looking down.

“Pam, honey,” Helene said kindly as she reached out and starting rubbing Pam’s thigh. “Remember we’re all here because we love you and we care for you. We just need you to be honest with us, even if you think it will hurt. We can’t help you unless we know the truth.”

Pam sat up and shook her head to clear her face before running her hand back through her hair to keep it back. She took a deep breath. “First, because I’m sure you’re all wondering, no, Roy has never hit me.” She looked around seriously for a moment before continuing. “I mean it. He may get upset and impatient from time to time, but he’s never hit me. As for that,” she gestured to her phone. “It’s not a lot, but probably more frequent than not, that when I’m not home when he’s expecting, that he’ll call and call and be upset.”

“It sounded like he didn’t even know how to make his own breakfast,” Isabel chimed in. “Are you doing all the cooking?”

“Mostly, yeah,” Pam said with a small nod.

“You mean he’s never even made you dinner or anything?” Rachel asked.

Pam hesitated for a moment as a quick memory of grilled cheese on a rooftop flashed in her mind. No! Not right now. We’re talking about Roy. “Honestly, I can’t remember the last time he made me a meal.”

“Okay, let’s all just hold on a sec,” Penny cut in. “We’re here to help and support Pam after a really crappy night. Not go into full on guy bashing, regardless of which guy that might be.”

Rachel looked a little subdued. “Sorry,”

“It’s okay,” Penny replied.

“Maybe I need some perspective.” Pam told the group after a few beats of silence.

“What do you mean?” Penny asked.

Pam took a deep breath to steel herself. “You guys have asked me to be honest. Well I think I need that from you guys too. So, honestly, what do you guys think of Roy? And I don’t mean the Roy you knew back in high school or college, the Roy you know of now.”

There was another pregnant pause as they considered how to answer Pam’s question. Finally, Helene broke the silence.

“I guess I’ll start. I think Roy is a very hardworking man. He’s loyal to his friends. Clearly, he’s able to take care of you financially. We did have a good time when we all went out for dinner a while back.
“However, there is at least once big thing that I’m concerned about. His tantrum just now notwithstanding, When I look back at the Roy you knew in high school and college and the Roy I know now, I have to ask myself, ‘what’s the difference?’
“I’ve always wanted the best for you Pam. For you to dream and grow and fly. It’s always been my hope that whoever you’re involved with would want the same. In all the years you’ve known him, when has he ever showed interest in personal growth? Yours or his?”

It was Pam’s turn to pause and think. “I remember he was really trying hard to go pro when it came to dirt bikes. But after his dad died, I don’t think he’s been on a bike since.”

“Pam I’ve got to agree,” Penny added. “Roy does have a steady dependable job that pays well, which is great. But I know you’ve told me that there have been some opportunities for him to move up or be more of a leader in the warehouse and that he’s let those opportunities slide. The other thing I’ve seen is how much he’s not helped plan his own wedding. I mean I know that it’s mainly a bride thing, but if the only thing he’s added was that he wanted hot dogs for the dinner, that’s not saying much. Most guys would probably at least want to be there for cake tasting, but he wasn’t.”

“He did book a band last night,” Pam told them.

“Okay,” Penny nodded her head. “He’s booked a band and suggested hot dogs. You’ve looked into your dress, venues, caterers, flowers, Save-the-dates, invitations, decorations, hell, you were the one to choose what style tux he’d be wearing and tons of other stuff.
“Now you’re also telling us you do most of, if not all, of the cooking. If a marriage is supposed to be a partnership, it seems like kind of an unfair division of labor.”

Pam worked to swallow the knot in her throat at her sister’s words. “What about you guys,” she croaked out to Rachel and Isabel.

The two women shared a quick glance before Isabel spoke up first. “I guess I haven’t really had a lot of contact with Roy recently so I’m not sure. I remember him from high school as the cool jock and even if you guys started out kinda rough, I remember you being happy the last of our senior year and beyond. Lately though, whenever you’ve called me and Roy’s come up, it always seems like you’re complaining about something. He won’t do the dishes, he’s out a poker game again, he said no to a nice night out and you guys went to bar instead where you had to act as taxi cab for his drunk friends. Stuff like that. I get that everyone has their off moments, but I don’t think I can remember the last time you called gushing about something nice Roy did.”

Rachel nodded. “Yeah, I mean back in college he seemed sweet and all, and I know I don’t have the experience the rest of you guys have with Pam and Roy, but since we reconnected there’s been a lot more talk about the great things Jim has done than what Roy has done.”

“We’re not talking about Jim right now,” Pam said quickly.

“Fair enough,” Rachel replied.

“Your turn Pam,” said Penny. “What do you think of Roy right now?”

Oh boy. Pam had figured the question was coming but it still threw her for a little loop. She took a few moments before answering. “I hear everything you guys are saying. It kinda sucks, but you’re all right. Roy hasn’t changed much over the years. At first, I thought that was a good thing, because I’ve always been kind of scared of change. But I do know there have been times I’ve wanted to make some changes, like that graphic design internship, and Roy wasn’t very supportive of it.”

“Does he still make you happy?” Helene asked.

Pam paused to think for a long time. She hung her head as her thoughts whirled in her mind. Finally, she looked up at the women around her. “No, no he doesn’t. He hasn’t for a long time.”

There was a collective release of breaths around the room at Pam’s declaration. Pam looked at her mother. “I can’t marry him, can I?”

Helene reached over and started rubbing Pam’s back. “That’s not for me to decide. You’ve got to think if the relationship you and Roy have is worth saving. Yes, I know you’ve been together for a long time and I know it might feel like if you two separated now it would have all been a waste. But you’ve admitted two very big things in the last few hours. You think you’re in love with Jim and Roy doesn’t make you happy anymore. What would that look like bringing into a marriage?”

Pam didn’t reply. She had her head in her hands as she digested her own revelation. Hot tears soaked through her lashes into her hands.

“Do you think that if you and Roy talked about it you could work things out?” Rachel asked after a couple minutes of silence.

“I don’t know,” Pam replied, sitting up and accepting the tissues Penny had placed near her. She wiped her eyes and nose as she went on. “It’s been a really long time since Roy and I had a talk like that. He’s out with his friends a lot which doesn’t help, and the times we are together alone he’s usually got a game on the TV or ESPN and gets defensive when I ask him to turn it off so we can talk.”

The room fell silent again. Pam leaned forward and caught her chin in her hands. No one really knew what to say, until Helene spoke up. “Hard things to talk about for sure. Why don’t we all take a break? We’ve been sitting here talking for a while and I for one could use a refill on my coffee. Pam? Would you like another cup?”

“Yes please.”

The idea for the break was sorely needed. Trips to the bathroom were taken, muscles were stretched, drinks refilled. Penny brought out a package of Double Stuff Oreos with glasses of milk and set them on the table. They all started munching on them as they resumed their seats.

“Okay,” Helene started off. “I think the topic of Roy has been discussed enough for now. Obviously, the other bomb from last night was what Jim told Pam and what she told me.” Helene looked over at Pam who had just finished a cookie. “Anything you’d like to share right now?”

Pam swallowed nervously and looked up at the ceiling. “Oh, where to start. It was a shock. I didn’t know what to say or do. No offence to any of you guys sitting around here right now, but Jim has been the best friend I’ve ever had. I think you’ve all heard enough stories about him over the years to prove that.”

“But what about what he said last night or what you told me?” Helene asked.

“I’m not sure.” Pam started. “Maybe I’ve got some warped sense of what love means if for years I’ve been seeing Jim and how he’s acted towards me as friendship rather than love. I think I still I need some time to think about things.”

“I think that’s a very good idea,” Penny told her sister. “We’re here all day. We can sit around talking if you’d like. Maybe go see a movie, though I’m not sure what’s playing right now. Find a salon and have mani-pedis.

“A movie kind of sounds good,” Pam said. “Something to keep my mind off of last night.”

A quick scan of showtimes later and the five of them were off to catch a matinee showing of Mission Impossible 3. The action flick did much to distract Pam from the thoughts bouncing in her mind. They found a frozen yogurt shop after the movie and spend a good time comparing the various sundae’s they’d created from the wide selection of toppings available. It was getting near to evening when they returned to Penny’s apartment building. It was the sight waiting for them that caused Pam to become anxious again.

“Is that Roy’s truck?” Penny asked.

Pam could only nod. Her eyes quickly scanned the parking lot and entrance to the building. Sure, enough Roy was sitting on the steps leading to the doors. “I really don’t want to talk to him right now,” Pam told the car of women with her.

“Good thing you’re sitting in the middle seat,” Penny said as she put her car in park. “Mom, do you think you and I could handle talking to him to get him to leave?”

“Oh I suspect so,” said Helene as she took off her seatbelt. She looked back at Pam and gave her daughter a smile. “Don’t worry honey. We’ll take care of this. Be right back.”

Pam didn’t say anything in return. She just slouched down in her seat between Rachel and Isabel.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Penny had to admit she felt a little nervous as she and her mother approached Roy. He was a fairly large man after all.

“What are you doing here Roy?” Helene asked as they approached the door.

Roy had stood up when he saw the other two women walk up. He looked worried and anxious as they approached. “I’m looking for Pammy. You said this morning she’s with you. Where is she?”

Helene cocked an eyebrow at Roy. “Pammy?”

“Sorry, Pam.” Roy at least had the good grace to look apologetic.

“What did I tell you this morning?” Helene went on.

“Yeah, I know but see...” Roy started but Helene cut him off.

“What did I tell you this morning?”

Roy hung his head. “That she didn’t want to see me.” He brought his head up to look at Helene and Penny again. “Which I really don’t get at all. She was fine last night. We were all having a good time at the casino thing. I had to take off but she still seemed fine. Now all of a sudden she’d not at home and when I call her you tell me she doesn’t want to see me. What gives?”

“She’s got a lot she’s that’s stressing her out right now,” Penny told him.

“Stress?” Roy looked confused. “What could she be stressing out about?”

Penny and Helene shared a surprised look. “Are you seriously asking that right now?” Penny’s voice started to rise.

Helene put a calming hand on Penny’s arm. “It’s okay.” She turned back to Roy. “The wedding is less than three weeks away Roy.”

“Yeah I know but-”

Helene cut him off again. “Then you should know that there are still a lot of things that need to be planned. Pam told us you’ve not really willing to help so she’s had to do a lot of it on her own. It got too much so we came over to help her.”

“I’ve done stuff!” Roy countered.

Helene kept her tone calm and friendly. “That’s nice. What are three things you’ve done to help for your wedding?”

Roy started to stammer a bit. “Well I, I booked a band last night for one!”

“Thank you very much,” Helene said kindly. “What else?”

“Ummm, I, um. You know why does it even matter? It’s only one day anyway? Not like anything’s really going to change just cause Pam will have another ring and my name right?” Roy tried to end his sentence like he was making a joke. However, the looks he got from Helene and Penny told him they hadn’t found him funny.

“Why are you here looking for Pam when my Mom told you we’d be taking care of her?” Penny asked.

“Well, ummm,” Roy looked down at the ground sheepishly. Seeing the intense looks he was getting he mumbled something.

“What was that?” Helene asked.

He looked back up at the pair. “I said I was hoping Pam would be back so we could have dinner before I went out with the guys tonight.”

“That sounds lovely,” Helene spoke up. “What were you planning on making her?”

“Me?” Roy seemed very shocked at the question.

“Of course, you,” Helene went on. “After all it sounds like you’re planning on leaving her alone all night to go out with your friends. Which is fine, but it would be nice of you to at least make her dinner before you go out.”

“I, umm, don’t really know how to cook,” Roy said weakly.

“I see,” Helene said. “So, let’s be clear about everything that’s going on right now. This morning you call asking where Pam was. I told you she didn’t want to see you and that we were going to take care of her. That she’ll be back later today if not tomorrow. You then started yelling at me over the phone. Now, you show up at Penny’s apartment, uninvited I might add, still looking for Pam. The reason is because you want her to make you dinner before you head out to leave her for the night.” Helene dug her wallet out of her purse and offered Roy a 20-dollar bill. “Here, if you need dinner there’s a bunch of fast food placed down the street. Or you could pick up a TV dinner. The directions on how to make it should be on the box.”

Roy looked up and down at the cash Helene was holding out to him. “You’re really not going to let me see her are you?”

“No, we’re not,” Helene told him while still holding out the money.

“I’m in trouble with her aren’t I?” He asked as he took the bill.

Helene shrugged. “That’s not for me to decide. What I do know is that Pam doesn’t want to see you right now and it’s time for you to leave.”

He paused for a few more moments before he turned and headed back to his truck and drove away. Penny let out a relieved sigh. “So, that went well I think.”

“As well as it could be,” Helene was still staring off in the direction Roy’s truck had left.

“C’mon Mom,” Penny nodded back to her car. “Let’s get everyone inside and maybe have another cup of coffee before you need to take off for the night.”

They returned to the car to collect the other women. Once upstairs they polished off the last of the Oreos while continuing to reassure Pam. Eventually Helene, Rachel, and Isabel left for the evening. Penny graciously offered Pam a ride back to her apartment, after circling the parking lot to make sure Roy’s truck was gone, so Pam could pack up her car and some toiletries, clothes, and a few other essentials. The two sisters plopped themselves in front of Penny’s TV and popped in one of Penny’s all-time favorite movies, The Princess Bride. It was one of the opening scenes that caused Pam to put a hand on her mouth.

“What is it?” Penny asked clearly seeing the concern in Pam’s eyes.

Pam pointed at the screen. “As you wish.”

Penny looked from Pam to the TV a few times. “Yeah, it’s one of the best lines of the movie.”

“No! That’s not it,” Pam shook her head. “Jim has always said this is one of his favorite movies too. He’s been telling me, as you wish, for forever.”

“Oh Pam,” Penny leaned over to rest her head on Pam’s shoulder as the implication dawned on her. Jim had been subtlety telling Pam he’d loved her for years.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Pam Beesly! Always great to see you! Getting close to the big day, right?”

Pam weakly smiled at Pastor Dan as she walked out of the sanctuary of her church. The night at Penny’s had done her good after they’d switched to a different movie. She didn’t feel as tired even if many of the confused thoughts she’d had were still bouncing around in her mind.

“Yeah, actually, I was hoping to talk to you. Do you have time?”

Seeing the concern on Pam’s face, Dan’s face lost its smile and showed the deep well of care he always displayed. “Of course, I have time. I take it you’d like to talk in my office rather than in the Fellowship Hall?”

When she nodded in response, he led them first to the Fellowship hall to grab cups of coffee and a few cookies before heading back to his office. It looked the same as the other times Pam had been there.

“So, what’s going on?” he asked after they’d sat down.

Pam told him everything that had happened the previous Friday night and some of her revelations from talking to her family and friends. Pastor Dan pushed over a box of tissues at one point so Pam could blow her nose and dab at her eyes. Finally, she reached the end of her story. She sat across from Dan’s desk and blotted a few last stray tears from her eyes.

“I think you’re had quite the weekend,” Pastor Dan started. “What about all that would you like to talk about?”

“Umm, right now, I guess I’m trying to get people’s opinions on Roy. What they think of him? Do they see us happy together? Is he right for me? Also, what people think of Jim.”

“I see,” Dan said as he leaned back in his chair. “I’m not sure I’m the one to answer those questions. I only met Jim and Roy the one time. As I recall, Jim seemed very pleasant and looked like he wanted to be with you. When Roy came in however, it looked like being here was a chore even before he left our counseling session early. That was the last time I ever saw him.”

Pam nodded. “I know. But I trust you. Am I making a mistake? I mean, I think I’m in love with Jim, but I’m still engaged to Roy.”

“What do you mean you think you’re in love with Jim?” Dan asked as he leaned forward again. “Either you are or you aren’t.”

“It doesn’t seem that simple,” Pam replied. “I’ve told myself for years that I love Roy, but now when I look at it, I’m sure I did at one point, but not anymore. When I look at how I feel for Jim, I guess it feels more like what love should be like. So, it’s all screwed up and I’m trying to figure things out before I have to see him again at work tomorrow.”

Pastor Dan got out of his chair and walked over to the bookshelf that covered an entire wall of his office. “I think that’s smart,” he said as he started looking for a specific book.

Pam gave an annoyed scoff as she watched him pull down a thick tome. “Please not that verse that says, ‘love is patient, love is kind,’ and all that. I don’t think that’s what I need right now.”

“Please,” Dan said with his own scoff. “I wouldn’t dare subject you to that one. It sounds nice in a wedding ceremony sure, but I think we can look outside the pages of the Bible to help you out.” He sat back down and pushed the book across his desk to Pam. “Open to the marked page and read the highlighted portions please.”

Reaching out for the book, Pam was suddenly confused by the title she read on the cover. “As You Like It?” she asked skeptically.

“There’s a reason why Shakespeare is often considered the greatest writer of the English word,” Dan said as he gestured for her to turn to the page he’d bookmarked.

Pam did so and looked at the verses within. Several had been highlighted skipping a few lines here and there. Slowly she began to read.

“Good shepherd, tell this youth what ‘tis to love

It is to be made of sighs and tears

It is to be made of faith and service

It is to made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes,
All adoration, duty, and observance
All humbleness, all patience, and impatience,
All purity, all trial, all observance.”

Having reached the end of the highlighted portions she set the open book in her lap. She didn’t really know what to say.

Pastor Dan though spoke up. “I like that a little better than the verses in 1st Corinthians to be honest. If you ever watch this play, they sometimes use this scene to ham it up for some laughs, but when you sit back and absorb what the characters are saying, you get more than just humor.
“What does it mean to truly love someone else? Probably a question only each person can really answer for themselves. However, there are some questions I think that can help clarify that for someone. Is the person you claim to love building you up or tearing you down? Are they in the relationship for what they can get out of it, or for what they can bring to the other partner? Do they actively seek out how to show affection the way their partner wants, not how they want to have affection shown to them? When you look ahead five, ten, or even fifty years from now, are they the kind of person you’d still want to have around? How do they treat those you’re close to?
“Again, I only met Roy and Jim the one time. It would be rude of me to try and answer those questions for you. However, if you’re seriously thinking that you’re going to call off your engagement for some of the reasons you’ve told me, I think that those are some of the questions you need to answer for yourself. Does that make sense?”

Pam nodded slowly. “Yeah actually. That helps a lot. I don’t suppose you have a list of those questions, do you? So, I can think about them more tonight?”

Pastor Dan smiled warmly at her as he opened his desk drawer to hand her a copy. “Of course.”

Taking the sheet, Pam folded it neatly before putting it in her purse. She let out a sigh and looked back at Dan. “It’s just I’ve had this notion in my head, going back just about as long as I can remember, that I’m so lucky to be able to get to marry my high school sweetheart. Now that I might not, it’s a lot to take in.”

“I understand,” Dan nodded at her. “That’s a nice thought, you’re right. But personally, I think it’s better if you marry your best friend.”

Pam let that thought sink in. It wasn’t something she’d considered before. The statement sent her confused thoughts spinning again.

They chatted a bit more before Pam left and headed back to Penny’s apartment. The excuse of being stressed out because of wedding planning was still working so she knew Roy wasn’t expecting her anytime soon. Pam also hadn’t turned her phone back on. She called out a greeting to her sister before heading back to the guest room to look over the questions Pastor Dan had given her.

“Okay,” she told herself. “Right now, don’t think about Jim. The wedding is coming up and I need to first think about Roy and that relationship.”

She took her time and did her best to answer the questions as honestly as she could. There were more questions than the few Pastor Dan had asked in person back in his office. It took her a few hours but at the end there was only one thought that was clearly settled in her mind.

I’m going to break up with Roy and call off the wedding.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Monday morning was clear and bright as Pam pulled into the parking lot of Dunder-Mifflin. She hadn’t told anyone of her decision yet. Just tell him the truth, she thought to herself as she entered the building and stepped into the elevator. You really shocked me last Friday and I’m sorry about what I said. I’m not going to marry Roy, but I’ll need some time to get things sorted out. Yeah, that sounds good.

The doors were already open when she got off the elevator. She hung up her light coat and looked at Jim’s desk hoping to see him there. He wasn’t. Her eyes grew more concerned as she looked at his desk more closely. The computer and the desk lamp were still there. But everything else that made Jim’s desk his, was gone. No pictures of his family. No pos-it notes on his computer screen. The rubber band ball was gone. Even his name plate had been removed. Seemingly unaware of what she was doing she sat down at her desk keeping her eyes on Jim’s.

This has got to be some kind of mistake. He’s always here by now. Where’s all his stuff?

Her thoughts kept rolling through her mind as the rest of her co-workers came in. Michael arrived and called an emergency conference room meeting to start off the day. She didn’t really process herself moving into the room with the others. Just like she didn’t quite process phrases like, emergency transfer, Stamford, or had to leave right away without saying goodbye.

She walked back to her desk in a daze when Michael finally released them. It was only when she put her hands on her keyboard that she noticed there were two things on it. The first the wedding RSVP card she’d given Jim. The box for ‘no’ was checked. The second was the heart cell plushie she’d given him. It had a sticky note attached to it with Jim’s handwriting. Cautiously, she looked down to read the message.

Pam,

This will always be yours.

Jim

She could already feel the tears forming in her eyes as she brought the plushie to her face. She squeezed it, but when her fingers pushed the button within the small toy no heartbeat sound came forth.

“Need any help with the rest of the boxes?”

Pam looked up from her kneeling position next to the box she was packing at her Dad’s question. It was the last box that needed to be filled and moved to the U-Haul truck. The bittersweet feelings she’d been having all day seemed to intensify as she closed the lid and taped it shut.

“No, this is the last one and I should be able to manage,” she called out as her father walked back into the apartment.

“Anything else we need to grab?” William Beesly asked.

“No. I’ve double checked. This is it.” Pam said as she stood up with the box.

The week after Jim left had Pam feeling numb. She’d had to spend nearly every night with Penny to keep on an even keel. It was her sister who had needed to constantly remind Pam of the decision to call off the wedding. The next week had been a flurry of apartment hunting as well as working out the details of how to end her relationship with Roy. For the hundredth time Pam felt relief that she and Roy still had separate bank accounts. Even though Roy had been pushing for years to merge their accounts, she’d held firm that until they were married, her account was hers. She had enough in her savings to afford the security deposit and first month’s rent on a small apartment along with a few other expenses that had come up.

Furnishing the new apartment had been another problem. Most of the furniture in the apartment she was now vacating had been there since before she moved in. One of the few exceptions being the overstuffed armchair she’d sat in so often in the spare bedroom while sketching. It was one of the first things to be loaded onto the U-Haul in the parking lot. Her parents had driven up for the week, bringing several pieces of old furniture from their house to help Pam get started on her own. The bed and couch might be old, but they were free. When she’d told her parents of her decision to call off the wedding, they’d been shocked, but supportive. All four Beesly’s had already taken off the week off for the wedding. Now instead of preparing for said wedding, they’d be helping Pam move into her new apartment as well as cancel the wedding plans. Pam would need to crash with Penny for one more night as she couldn’t move in to her new apartment until the next day. The only thing left was for Pam to tell Roy and then start the phone calls to cancel all the plans that had been laid the last few months.

Pam was looking around when the familiar sound of Roy’s truck pulling up reached her ears. She checked her watch. Packing had taken longer than she’d thought. “Damn,” she swore under her breath.

“What was that?” William asked.

“Roy’s back. I’d hoped we’d be done by the time he got here.” She set the box she was holding on a countertop and looked out the open door to where Roy was getting out of his truck.

William clearly saw the nervousness in Pam’s eyes. He put a reassuring hand on Pam’s shoulder. “It’s just this last box so we did finish. Just tell him. Your mother, sister, and I will be right outside if you need us.”

Pam smiled at her father. “Thanks Dad.” Taking a deep breath, she turned to face outside where she could see Roy coming up the sidewalk with a confused expression on his face.

“Mr. Beesly? Pammy?” Roy asked as he entered the apartment. He was holding a plastic grocery bag with Hungry-Man TV dinners inside. “What are you doing here? What’s with all the boxes and the truck? How come your Mom and sister are outside? What’s going on?”

William turned to the younger man with a slight glower on his face before Pam could respond. “Roy, Pam has said countless times she doesn’t like to be called that. You owe her an apology.”

Roy looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He recovered enough to mutter an apology to Pam before looking back and forth between William and Pam.

Seeing Pam was still nervous, William spoke up again. “Pam has some things she needs to tell you. It would do you well to listen to her.” He gave Pam an encouraging look before he grabbed the box Pam had set down and turned to leave the apartment while closing the door behind him.

“Can we sit down at the table please?” Pam started. She suited action to words and pulled out the chair closest to the door and sat down.

Roy set the grocery bag down on the counter and pulled out a chair across from Pam. “What’s going on?”

Pam took a deep breath to steady herself. Even though she’d already packed up most of her possessions there were still a couple things she still had out. One of them was the picture of her and Roy she’d kept at her work desk for years. She slid it over to him as she started talking. “Do you remember where we were when we took this picture?”

Roy took the framed photo and glanced at the picture of the two of them smiling back at the camera. “I think so. Wasn’t it at a 4th of July party?”

“It was,” Pam confirmed. “Do you remember when it was that we took this picture?”

“Umm, not really. What does this picture have to do with the moving truck outside?” Roy let the frame drop to the table top.

“It was the summer before your Dad died,” Pam told him. Predictably, she saw his jaw tighten at the mention of his father. “I remember because that was the last summer, I saw you truly happy.”

“I’m happy!” Roy countered with a slight whine in his voice.

Taking another deep breath Pam went on. “Maybe, but not like you were that summer. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen you smile like that in a long time.”

“I still don’t get what that has to do with anything!” Roy was starting to get frustrated.

“What I’m saying Roy, is that you’ve stayed the same for a long time now. You’re still basically the same guy I knew back in high school and college. The only difference is that before your Dad died you had dreams and goals. Since then, not so much.”

“What?” Roy’s tone had a slight quiver now.

Pam glanced at the table for a second before looking back up. “You haven’t changed Roy. And because you haven’t changed, I think you’ve thought that everyone else needs to stay the same too. Including me. But I have changed.”

“Changed how?”

“I want to start taking art classes again,” Pam said with a confidence that surprised even herself.

“C’mon!” Roy let his hands flop loudly on the table and looked up the ceiling in exasperation. “You know how expensive those are and how tight money is. We talked about this. I told you it’s not a good idea.”

Pam closed her eyes for a beat to steady herself. “That right there proves my point Roy. Something new or something that breaks the routine and you’re against it.”

“We just don’t have the money!” Roy told her.

“Yet, there’s always money for your poker games, or for bar nights, or for you and Kenny to head to Philly for a game of some kind.” Pam said coolly.

“That’s different.”

“How?”

Roy stammered and looked down at the table while he tried to formulate a response. When none came Pam went on. “The overall point is this Roy. I’m not happy and I haven’t been for a long time. I’m not happy because I’ve wanted to grow and explore. I’ve wanted to do that with you, but that’s hard when you’re still the same boy I knew in high school.”

Roy looked up at her at that. His words started to have some heat as he replied to her. “What are you saying? That I need to grow up?”

“No,” Pam had to swallow the lump that formed in her throat. “What I’m saying is that you deserve someone who will appreciate you for who you are. Not try to change you into something they want you to be. I’ve thought about this for a long time now, and that person’s not me. I’m sorry Roy, but I can’t marry you.”

That got his attention. “Of course, you can marry me. We are going to be married. This Saturday.”

Pam had to take another breath. “Roy, why do you even want to get married?”

A confused expression came across his face at that question. “What?”

“It’s a simple, but important question,” Pam said calmly. “You only proposed to me because I told you I thought I was pregnant. Please, think about it for a moment. If that hadn’t happened, would you still have proposed?”

Roy opened and closed his mouth a few times as he considered what Pam had asked him. “I kinda forgot about all that to be honest.”

It was Pam’s turn to be shocked. “Proposing to your girlfriend, especially one who just told you she thought she was pregnant is a big deal! You’re saying you just forgot about how upset I was that day? What else about me have you forgotten?”

“But I did stick by what I said!” The memory of his proposal came back to him and made Roy want to defend himself. “The day after you said you thought you were pregnant, I didn’t go back on saying I’d marry you.”

Pam nodded slowly. “That’s true. But again, would you have even asked in the first place?”

“Sure, I would!” Roy answered almost a little too quickly.

“How long would that have taken? I know you weren't saving up for a ring or had any plans to propose back then. We’d never talked about getting married before that day.” Pam felt her throat starting to get tight once more.

“I don’t know Pam!” Roy was starting to get annoyed at all the questions. “How am I supposed to know how I would have acted back then? What’s important is now and that after Saturday all this wedding stuff will be behind us and we can get back to normal.”

For the first time, Pam felt a tear trickle down out of her eye. “This wedding stuff? That’s all this means to you? A chore you need to get done with on Saturday before we take our honeymoon and then you can get back to poker, beer, and football?”

Roy was instantly apologetic. “No Pam! That’s not what I meant!” He tried reaching across the table to hold Pam’s hand, but she pulled them away.

“What did you mean?” The memory of her asking him that same question years ago flashed through Pam’s mind as she wiped the tear off her cheek. She looked back at him hard as she waited for his answer.

“I...um...I don’t know, but that’s not important.” Roy stammered.

For the first time in the conversation Pam felt anger rise in her. “Bullshit!” she screamed at him. “You don’t get to say, ‘I don’t know!’ Not to that question, because it is important. So, what did you mean by getting done with all this wedding stuff?” Confronted by an angry Pam who rarely swore like that, Roy actually drew back in his chair in surprise. When he didn’t reply, Pam spoke up again. “I’m waiting,” she said hotly.

Roy opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to formulate a response. “I guess, I mean, it’s not like I really have a lot to do on Saturday. Put on the tux, stand on stage, repeat a few lines.”

The anger in Pam’s voice was if anything even louder. “So that’s all this wedding means to you! Show up, act as set decoration, eat some food, and that’s it?” She was breathing hard after the words left her mouth.

Roy had no idea how to respond to her challenge. He was stuck looking like a fish out of water. The silence between the two of them lengthened.

Slowly Pam got her breathing under control. When Roy was still silent, she spoke up again. This time her voice was quieter, but it was still pained. “Do you even love me anymore?”

This time Pam didn’t pull away when Roy leaned over and caught her hands across the table. “Of course, I still love you Pam!” The was a note of desperation starting to edge into his voice.

Pam sniffed as she slowly pulled her hands out of his. “When was the last time you told me that?”

“Um,” Roy had to think for a moment. When he finally remembered he brightened up a little. “It was on that boat party we had with everyone at work. When I set the date!”

“Great,” Pam huffed. “So not only do I have to wait four months between times that my fiancé tells me he loves me, but he can’t even say those words unless he’s drunk.”

“C’mon Pam,” he pleaded. “Just cause I don’t say it at ton doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You know that I do.”

“How?” Pam sniffed again trying to hold back tears.

“How what?” Roy looked confused again.

“How do I know you love me?” Pam had a hard look to her face. “What have you done in even the past month to show me you love me? I ask you to look at my sketches in the morning and you say you don’t have time for my little hobby. I suggest we go somewhere new for dinner and you say you just want to head to Poor Richard’s again since they’ve got Bud Light for a dollar and that’s a great way to save money. You griped and complained the entire way to my parents' house last Christmas since you’d be missing your annual football game with Kenny. When we were there, you spent most of the time on the couch drinking beer and watching TV instead of interacting with my family. When my friend was in the hospital fighting for their life you wanted me to leave them just so I could make you dinner instead of coming to the hospital to be there for me! And then there’s all the times you’ve blown me off to go out drinking with Kenny or the guys from the warehouse.
“Meanwhile I’ve cooked and cleaned almost by myself around here for years. I’ve had to tell my friends and family I can’t do things with them since we were going to do something. I’ve had to apologize for your drunken remarks more times than I care to remember. I’ve done my best for years to try and put you first in this relationship only for you to act like I’m your mother. So again, why do you even want to get married?”

It took a few long moments for Roy to come up with a response. “I guess, I figure since we’ve been together so long, I owe it to you to get married.”

The words hit Pam’s heart hard. “So, you’re only getting married to me out of obligation, not because you actually want to or because you love me?”

Roy found he couldn’t say anything in response. He only hung his head and looked down at his shoes. The silence between the two of them lengthened again until it was Pam who finally moved. Slowly she slid her engagement ring off her finger and set it down on the table next to the framed photo.

That simple act more than anything shocked Roy. “No!” He shook his head at the sight of the ring laying on the table. “No! Put that back on. Please!”

Standing up, she reached into the pocket of her jeans. Pam pulled out a check and slid it across the table next to the ring and the photo. “This is a check for my half of the rent for the rest of the lease.”

Roy shook his head at the sight of the items on the table. He looked back at Pam hoping to see that she wasn’t serious. At the sight of her face he slid off his chair to kneel in front of her. He tried to grab for her hands again, but she pulled them away. “No! You can’t mean it. Not now, not after all this time.”

“I’m sorry Roy,” Pam told him quietly.

“I can fix this. I can change! Tell me how I can change! I mean I brought dinner home tonight so you don’t have to cook and everything.”

The sight of tears starting to brim in Roy’s eyes only served to deepen the cut in Pam’s heart. Stay strong, she told herself. “This isn’t anything you can fix Roy. I’ve known you for a long time now. You say you’ll change, and for while you might. But then when you feel like you’re out of the doghouse you’ll go right back to how you’ve always acted. Poker games and bar nights with the guys from the warehouse while I sit here alone. Taking Kenny out on the jet ski’s rather than taking me. I’ll be back to cooking every meal while you watch whatever game is on TV.”

“No, I won’t! I swear! I’ll pay attention! I’ll take you with me to games rather than Kenny. I’ll...” he trailed off.

“That’s what you want to do, not what I want to do. I don’t want to go to a game. I want to go to an art gallery or a nice restaurant.”

“Okay! We’ll go to an art gallery! We’ll go anywhere you want for dinner! You pick! Anything you want!” Roy pleaded.

Pam felt her throat tighten just a little bit more. “I’m sorry Roy, but it’s too little too late. We’re not the same people we were back in high school or when I was in college. I mean, I don’t think you even know me anymore.”

“Of course, I know you Pammy!” Even as the word left his mouth, he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“What’s my favorite flavor of yogurt?” she asked with a tight voice.

“Ummm,”

“What’s my favorite kind of tea?”

“Lipton?” Roy guessed even though he had no idea and he knew she knew that too.

“Which do I prefer to color my sketches? Watercolors or colored pencils?”

Roy didn’t answer, just looked down at the floor again.

“When was the last time we went out on a date that wasn’t to Poor Richards or some other bar? Just the two of us?”

Roy didn’t even bother looking up.

Pam wiped away the tears leaking down her face. “I’m sorry Roy. I really am.” She turned and started to walk away from the table. A noise from behind her caused her to turn back. “What was that?”

Roy was still on his knees, but now he was looking back at her. “I said what about all the food? It all came to my Mom’s place today and she’s got it all stored in the big freezer in the garage.”

Pam had to swallow the lump in her throat before she answered. “If you want, we can still share it. We’ll have pre-made lunches for the next month.”

Roy didn’t say anything in reply. He just hung his head again.

“Good-bye Roy,” Pam told him. Turning she left the apartment and closed the door behind her.

At once she leaned back against the door and her tears started to fall heavily. Her family noticed at once and converged on her. They moved her away from the door to where they’d finished loading up the U-Haul. Pam let her mother lead her to the passenger seat while William climbed into the driver’s seat. Helene climbed into Penny’s car for the ride back to Penny’s apartment. Pam didn’t say a word as she left the apartment, she’d called home for the last time. She let silent tears fall as the familiar Scranton scenery flashed past her window.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Pam was curled up on her couch under a thick blanket. She’d taken her contacts out for the night and had on her favorite pair of fleece pajamas. Penny was likewise under her own blanket sipping on a glass of Coke on the other side of the couch. The two sisters had been watching a movie in a comfortable silence. The cup of tea in Pam’s hand was slowly being sipped as The Lion King played on the TV. Penny had suggested the movie as a way to get Pam’s mind off the events of the previous days.

After leaving the old apartment Pam had spent the rest of the night at Penny’s. She couldn’t stop sobbing while her family did everything, they could to be there for her. Roy showing up drunk at Penny’s apartment building, screaming for Pam to take him back, hadn’t helped matters. Nor had the sight of Roy being arrested after Penny called the police when she realized he’d been driving while intoxicated. Pam cried herself to sleep that night. The next day she’d signed the lease on her new apartment, and moving in had kept her busy enough that her feelings were kept at bay. It was Wednesday and Thursday that had proven the hardest. Pam and her family had spent the two days on the phone cancelling the wedding. It was a long process that involved accepting the fact they were not going to get many of the deposits back on various locations and services. So, when Penny had suggested a sister movie night at Pam’s new apartment, it had seemed like a good way to try and relax after several very hard days.

As the movie was nearing its end, Penny spoke up.“Oh, I love this part,” she said softly.

Pam turned her head to look at Penny, but her sister was engrossed with the images on the screen. Looking back Pam was just in time to see Simba emerge from clouds of steam after defeating Scar. The music swelled as Simba made his solemn march up Pride Rock to at last take his rightful place as king. The music reached its peak crescendo as the final title card boomed onto the screen just before the credits started to roll.

“There’s a lot there you could learn from that you know,” Penny told her sister.

Pam took a deep breath and tried to hide deeper under her blanket. “Not now please.”

“If not now, then when? I know it’s been a hard and painful week for you, but please let me say this.”

Peaking over to her sister, Pam saw Penny saw support, not condemnation in her sister’s eyes. Sitting up a bit, she nodded for Penny to go on.

Penny sat up a bit straighter herself and looked at Pam directly. “I see a lot of your situation in the ending scenes of this movie is all. There’s this big fire that at first seems like it’s ruining everything. When you look closer though, the stuff that’s burring is already mostly dead and the fire is getting rid of a lot of that bad stuff that was choking out new life and growth. Yes, it’s a hard process to get through, but there’s no other way to do it. Then the rain comes. A lot of times we get all dark and gloomy when it rains. We want the sun to shine, but that doesn’t happen right away. Also, yes, I know the scene is at night, that’s not the point. Here though the rain brings healing. It puts out the fires and lets the seeds that have been dormant for a long time to start to bloom. Then finally, the land is renewed. It takes a little more time, but it happens. The scars from the fire are still there, and in some ways will probably always be there. But through fire and rain, there’s so much new growth that the scars are covered and life can go on as it’s supposed to.
“So yes, you just walked through and maybe are still walking through a huge fire in breaking up with Roy and calling off the wedding. Yes, many tears have fallen and more that will and should flow. But hold on to hope. The sun will come back out and it’ll be all the better since you’ve allowed what should have been growing all this time to fully bloom.”

“Wow,” despite the pain still lingering in her heart, Pam couldn’t help but be impressed. “You got all that from a Disney movie?”

Penny grinned at Pam. “It was either that or compare the movie to Hamlet, and since just about everyone dies in that play, I didn’t think you’d appreciate that as much.”

Pam let out a small giggle. Penny moved over from her perch to sit next to Pam and wrap an arm around her sister. “So how do I go from burning and raining to sunshine?” Pam asked as she leaned her head against Penny’s arm.

“A note to Jim, telling him everything that’s happened might be one way to start,” Penny suggested.

“I don’t know,” Pam felt tension return to her shoulders at the prospect of reaching out to Jim.

“Pam, I think you need to.” Penny tightened her grip around Pam’s shoulder for a moment. “Just last week you told me that he was right and he never misinterpreted things. You called off the wedding for the guy. Right now, he’s probably feeling lousy. I know you still care for him. I’m sure he’d want to hear it from you.”

Pam let that bounce around in her mind. Penny’s right. Jim does deserve to know. I know Jim. I’m the last person he’d probably want to talk to right now. He’d probably hang up on me if he heard my voice on the phone. I don’t think I could deal with that. Especially when I know I’m the reason he’s probably hurting.

“You could just write him a letter or send a card,” Penny suggested after Pam shared her thoughts with her sister.

“But what do I tell him?”

“The truth,” Penny said simply. “It would probably do you two good to finally start to be completely honest with each other.” Penny got up from the couch to grab a pad of paper and a pen from the counter before returning to the couch. “Here, you can practice with this. I’ll help you.”

With a sigh, Pam took the items from her sister. For the next half hour, she wrote draft after draft and showed them to Penny. Together they refined what it was Pam both wanted and needed to say to Jim.

“Okay,” Penny said around a mouthful of ice cream they’d dug out while writing drafts. “Read it back to me.”

Taking a deep breath, Pam held the notepad up and started to read.

“Dear Jim,

I hope this letter finds you well. I need to tell you some things and I thought this was the best way to talk to you. I’m sorry. I froze when you told me you were in love with me. I didn’t know what to say or do. It was the same after you kissed me in the office. I had no clue that you would have said what you did that night or that you would kiss me. I was scared and I panicked.

I’ve had a lot of time to think recently and I’ve realized a few important things. You didn’t misinterpret anything. I do have feelings for you. Feelings that are defiantly more than simple friendship. Looking back, I’ve had those feelings for you for years now.

The wedding is off. I took a long hard look at things and realized there was no way I could marry Roy. I want more than what that relationship could provide. I want to work on my art. I want to be free to have fun without feeling guilty about anything. Mostly I want you back here at home.

I miss you Jim. I miss us. I want us to be us again. I hope that we can be together again soon.

Love,

Pam”

Penny nodded her head a few times as Pam set the draft down on the table. “I like it”

Pam wasn’t sure. “You don’t think it’s to cheesy?”

“You once told me Jim likes cheesy,” Penny shrugged. “Besides, it’s the truth.”

“I hope so,” Pam said as she pulled a clean sheet of paper over to her to copy what she’d written.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Friday afternoon saw Pam pulling up to a drive-up mailbox. She was still early enough that her letter would get in the mail that day. She’d had to stop at Dunder-Mifflin to get the address for the Scranton branch. After one to many questions about if there would be an open or cash bar, Pam had blurted out the news that the wedding was off. After that she flatly refused to answer any more questions while she looked up the information she needed. Writing it down on a post-it note she made her way back to her car and the nearest post office.

She gave her letter one last look, before she kissed it and dropped in the blue box.

“Here’s hoping,” she said to herself as she pulled away.

She made one more stop on her way home. Once she arrived at her apartment, she took the newly purchased picture frame out of the plastic bag. Setting it on the table she took off the tags and backing. Carefully she pulled a plastic covered sketch out of her purse. It had sat in her desk drawer for years. Now it would have a place of honor on her nightstand. A constant reminder that even when things seemed down, there were good things too.

It was the loud knocking on his door that finally woke him up. The couch cushion by his face was slightly damp from where he’d been drooling.  He glanced at his cell phone. It wasn’t the time that mocked him, it was the date. June 11th. His head was throbbing and he stumbled for a step or two as he made his way towards the door. He still hadn’t unpacked much since he’d moved to Stamford, so there were few trip hazards. He put a hand out against the wall to steady himself and shook his head for a second. Whoever was at the door knocked again, louder this time.

Knock!!! Knock!! KNOCK!!!

“Yeah! I’m coming!” Jim yelled in the direction of the closed door. Whoever this is had better have a damn good reason for not letting a guy be by himself.

Reaching the door, he flipped the locks and pulled it open. He wasn’t at all prepared for the sight before him. It took him a moment to find his voice. When he did it was scratchy. “What are you guys doing here?”

“You’re not answering your phone,” Gerald Halpert told his son coolly. “May we come in?”

Reluctantly, Jim opened the door further and gestured inside. “Sure.”

“Jim!” Betsy threw her arms around him before she walked inside. “We’ve been so worried! Tom and Pete told us you kicked them out last week when they visited. You’ve barely said a word to any of us since you moved here. We’re concerned about you.”

Betsy released her hug only to be replaced by Larissa. “Hey Jim. It’s good to see you,” she said simply.

“You too,” Jim replied. Larissa let him go and moved inside with her parents.

“Long time, no see, since you moved down to Florida.” Jim told the fourth person to come through the door. “How you been cuz?”

“Probably better than you,” Johnathan Halpet replied to his cousin before he too embraced Jim.

After his cousin released him Jim closed his door and followed the small crowd into his apartment. He was shocked to see Betsy and Larissa already starting to open and unpack boxes in his kitchen. Gerald had somehow found a garbage bag and was starting to pick up trash.

“What are you doing?” Jim found his were feet rooted to the floor as he watched them start to work.

Betsy glanced up at him. “What’s it look like we’re doing? We’re unpacking. You’ve been here, what almost three weeks now and you’ve hardly unpacked anything.”

“You guys don’t have to do that,” Jim protested. He tried to walk over to his mother and sister to get them to stop, but Gerald blocked his way.

“Apparently, they do, since it seems like you’re not really taking care of yourself anymore.”

“I’m fine!” Jim said with some heat.

“Bullshit!” Johnathan fired back.

Before Jim could round on his cousin, Gerald clinked three empty bottles of Old Crow bourbon. “Care to explain these?” When Jim didn’t answer his father, Gerald spoke up again. “Are there any more around here?”

Jim found he couldn’t talk. Partly due to his headache and also due to the lump forming in his throat. He simply nodded and pointed to a cabinet.

Gerald threw the empty bottles in the trash and walked to the cabinet after giving the trash bag to Johnathan. Inside he retrieved two more full bottles of whiskey. “At least it wasn’t anything expensive,” Gerald remarked as he crossed to the sink and unceremoniously started pouring the whiskey down the drain.

That act caused Jim to find his voice again. “You’re dumping whiskey Dad? I don’t think I’d ever see you do that.”

“Whiskey was once called aqua vitae, the water of life,” Gerald said while giving Jim a very hard look. “However, I won’t stand by and let any form of alcohol destroy the life of anyone in my family. No whiskey, beer, wine, or spirit is worth that price.”

“Jim,” Johnathan had gently put his hands on Jim’s shoulders. “We’re here because we care for you. Whatever is going on with you has turned you into someone that’s not the Jim we’ve known for years. The Jim we know doesn’t cut off all contact from his family, snap at his brothers, or try to drown himself in a bottle.
“Now come on,” Johnathan let his hands drop. “Go get yourself cleaned up. Once your dad is done there, he and I are going to take you out. Get some coffee and breakfast in you while the ladies get things organized here.”

“I have coffee here,” Jim said. “Why go out?”

“So, you’re less likely to snap at us or throw us out,” Gerald said as he watched  the last of the whiskey circle down the drain.

Reluctantly, Jim agreed. He retreated to his bedroom and changed out of the wrinkled clothes he’d fallen asleep in the previous night. Rummaging in a bag he found a fresh t-shirt and clean jeans. Leaving Betsy and Larissa to continue to unpack, the three men got in Gerald’s car and headed for a nearby diner. When Jim asked how they knew it was there, Johnathan told them they’d passed it on the way in. They piled into a booth with Johnathan and Gerald on one side and Jim sitting by himself on the other. After looking at the menu for a few minutes they gave the waitress their orders.

“So, what’s going on with you Jim?” Gerald started off while pouring a cup of coffee for the three of them from the pot the waitress had left on the table. “Saying ‘nothing,’ isn’t an option. I’ve never seen you act like this.”

Jim looked up from his mug. It took several sips though for his throat to relax enough for him to feel up to talking. “It was at our company casino night. I told Pam how I felt. She shot me down, twice.”

Gerald and Johnathan looked at each other. They’d heard many stories about Pam Beesly over the years. “What do you mean you told her how you felt?” Gerald asked.

Jim looked at his father with a face of utter dejection. “I told her, and I quote, ‘I’m in love with you.’”

“I take it she was fairly shocked?” Johnathan asked. Jim could only nod his head in reply.

Gerald took a deep breath before he spoke again. “Jim,” he waited until Jim looked up at him. “The words, ‘I love you,’ are three of the most beautiful words in the English language, but also three of the most dangerous. Those words have the power to build someone up, or if said the wrong way, completely tear someone to pieces. I don’t doubt your feelings for Pam. However, think of the timing. Didn’t you say once she’s about to get married?”

“She got married yesterday,” Jim choked out.

“Thus, the empty whiskey bottles?” Gerald asked.

“One of them at least,” Jim confessed. “I didn’t want to think about anything. I didn’t want to feel anything. I just wanted to be numb.”

“And you couldn’t be there for her on her big day?” Johnathan asked.

“No,” Jim said quietly with a shake of his head. “You never met the guy she’s engaged to. I mean, married to.” Jim had to take a shuddering breath as those words left his mouth. It took him several deep breaths before he was able to speak again. “In all the years I’ve seen him with Pam, he’s taken her for granted at every turn. He’s never been there for her. I’ve seen him cut her down I don’t know how many times. He’s even made her cry a few times.”

They paused the conversation as their food arrived. While Gerald and Johnathan dug in, Jim was only pushing his French toast around his plate with his fork. He kept a hand on the side of his head since his headache hadn’t abated any since he’d woken up.

Johnathan noticed at once. “You know that food’s for eating right? It’ll probably help with that hangover you’re nursing.”

“I’m not hungry,” Jim said without meeting Johnathan’s eyes.

“Don’t care,” Johnathan replied. “Eat!”

“I’m not a little kid! I don’t need you or anyone else telling me what to do!” Jim snapped.

“Could have fooled me,” Johnathan replied.

“What?” Jim looked back skeptically.

“Let’s review things, shall we?” Johnathan said around bites of his omelette. “For years you’ve been pining after Pam, even though for as long as you’ve known her, she’s been engaged to another man. Then three weeks ago you tell her that all this time you’ve been in love with her. Well done for telling her how you feel, by the way. I mean that. However, she says no, and you run up here. I mean honestly, what were you expecting would happen? That three weeks before her wedding, she’ll just up and leave a guy she’s been with since high school, call off her wedding, and leap into your arms?”

Jim was back to glaring at Johnathan. “I get it, I’m an asshole! I’m the selfish prick who tried to break up an engagement!”

“Jim calm down,” Gerald broke into the conversation. “No one’s calling you a prick or an asshole except you. Well, let me amend that, maybe Tom and Pete, but you did kick them out of your apartment last week.”

“That’s cause they told me I was crazy for waiting so long to make a move. If I recall Pete’s words correctly, he told me ‘She’s not worth all this. Why don’t you head out to a bar, meet a girl, bring her home for the night, and feel better about yourself,’” Jim stewed.

“Well Pete’s always been kind of a jerk,” said Gerald. “We’ve known that for years. Didn’t think you’d let him get to you like that anymore.”

“That’s not it Dad!” Jim exclaimed. “Neither one of them has ever even tried to understand the connection Pam and I have, or that we had. There’s only been one other time in my life I felt anything near like what I felt for Pam. We could finish each other’s sentences. By only a look we would know how the other one was feeling. Being with her was the only way either of us could make it through a day in the zoo that was that office. And when it all got too much, what with the cameras always following us around, we could always find a way to escape them and get a few moments of peace. That Pete would tell me to just throw away my feelings for a one-night stand like that? He deserved to get kicked out of my place. He’s lucky I didn’t literally kick his ass in the process.”

“You could talk to her about anything?” Gerald asked with a pointed glance while ignoring Jim’s rant about his brother. “Anything except how you truly felt it seems.”

“She was engaged!” Jim’s long-time excuse came out automatically. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to tell her how I felt!”

“So, what stopped you for so long?” Johnathan asked.

“This!” Jim pounded the table making their silverware rattle. “This exact thing right here, right now! That she’d ultimately choose what’s-his-face over me.”

“He has a name, Jim. Stop being a child and use it.” Gerald chided his son.

“Fine! Roy then. I tried to show her for years how badly Roy treated her. How much he took her for granted. I tried to show her time and again that I wouldn’t treat her like that. That I would listen to her, encourage her, treat her the way she deserved to be treated.”

“So, what are you saying then?” Gerald asked. “If Pam couldn’t be with you, she doesn't deserve to be with anyone? That you’re going to force her to see your point of view? Drive back to Scranton the day after her wedding and drag her to courthouse to fill out divorce paperwork?”

Jim glared back at his father. “You know if you came here to make me feel better, you’re doing a horrible job of it.”

“I’m not going to blow sunshine up your ass Jim,” Gerald told him. “I’m also not going to allow you numb yourself to the world. Life sucks sometimes and it’s rarely fair. So, man the hell up, and face your pain head on. It’s not going to go away by just ignoring it. Drowning in a bottle or your own self-pity is just going to lead you down a path you do not want to go.”

“Tough love,” Jim said with a scoff. “Thanks.”

“There’s a time and place for it,” Gerald remarked. “This is that time. But remember something else that’s just as important. Johnathan actually said it earlier. If he or I or your mother or the rest of your family didn’t care about you, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Johnathan’s tone of voice was a little softer than Gerald’s. “I said before I admire you for telling Pam how you felt. Seriously. That took guts. However, by doing that you then put the ball in her court. How she reacted, that’s not anything you could control. You can’t force her to love you. You wouldn’t want her to anyway.”

“I know,” Jim said as his throat started getting tight again.

“Do you still care about her?” Johnathan asked.

Jim could only nod in response.

“Do you truly want her to be happy?” came the follow up question.

Again, Jim nodded silently.

Johnathan reached over the table to put a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Then you’ve got to be willing to let her make her own choices, even if those choices don’t involve you.”

After a considerable period of silence had gone by Johnathan spoke up again. “When do you start your new position here in Stamford?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Jim had finally started to eat so his response was muffled through his French toast. “I had once planned on flying to Australia to get away from Pam’s wedding. Even put in for the time off and got it, but that didn’t happen. Still had the time off though. Gave me time to move here.”

“Good thing we showed up here when we did,” Gerald remarked. “After we finish up at your apartment we’ll have to go out and find you some new suits. If you’re the Assistant Regional Manager, you’ll probably want to upgrade your business wardrobe.”

Jim just nodded at his father. The three men finished the rest of their meal in silence to give Jim time to think in peace. The car ride back to Jim’s apartment was also quiet. When they arrived back, they found Betsy and Larissa had finished unpacking the kitchen. They were now working on the living room, getting DVD’s and video games placed in the shelves of Jim’s entertainment center. Jim kneeled down to help them as Gerald and Johnathan resumed garbage duty. After the living room was set up, the women made quick work of unpacking Jim’s bathroom supplies while the men got Jim’s bedroom under control. They took a small break when the pizza ordered for lunch arrived. With several garbage bags now overflowing with trash Jim announced he was going to run them out to a dumpster in the parking lot.

“I’ll help you with that,” Larissa piped up. Jim nodded at his sister and the two of them walked outside with the load of trash.

“Thanks,” Jim said stiffly.

Larissa waited until they were out of earshot of Jim’s front door before she spoke again. “What are you thinking right now?”

“Don’t you mean what am I feeling?” Jim kept his gaze focused on the dumpster they were moving towards.

“Nope, that’s pretty easy to figure out,” she said with a shrug. “You’re probably feeling like shit, both physically and mentally. However, what you’re thinking right now, that could be just about anything. Even if it’s something like, ‘why won’t my annoying little sister just shut the Hell up?’” Larissa looked up at Jim with a small smirk.

Despite himself, Jim felt the corners of his mouth turn up. “You really want to know?”

They’d arrived at the dumpster by now but paused before they threw in their garbage bags. Larissa just nodded at Jim.

He took a deep breath before he started talking, and at once regretted it due to being so close to the large piles of odorous garbage in the dumpster. “I know I need to get over Pam. She made her choice, and it wasn’t me. It hurts. Then I keep thinking that she was my best friend for so long, and that I ran away before her wedding. So, not only did I spring my feelings on her weeks before her wedding, but I won’t even be there on one of the most important days of her life. Which I’m sure sucks for her, and I’m the cause of that, which makes me feel even worse.”

“Thus, all the whiskey?” Larissa surmised.

Jim nodded as he threw his bags in the dumpster. “Yeah. But Dad had it right. Sometimes tough love is what’s needed. Doesn’t mean I have to like it or that I’m not still upset though.”

“You’ve loved her for years,” she replied kindly. “It’s going to take time for your heart to heal.”

“Yeah,” Jim said quietly before turning back to his apartment.

Larissa threw her own bags on the trash pile and turned to follow Jim. However, something she had glimpsed in the dumpster caused her to turn back. She peered over the edge and saw the garbage bag Jim had thrown in had spilled some of its contents out due to the fact he hadn’t tied it closed. One of the items was an old grey shoebox marked with a very faded, “MAF12.” For a moment Larissa was torn. On one hand she knew this was the first sign of Jim starting to move on from his past. On the other hand, she also knew the significance Jim once had for that box and what lay within. Seeing Jim was focused on getting back to his apartment, she made up her mind. Quickly she reached into the dumpster and retrieved the box. She swiftly inspected the contents to ensure nothing was missing. Before she joined her family back in Jim’s apartment, she hid the box in the back seat of her parent's car.

“For when you’re ready to love again,” she whispered in the direction of Jim’s apartment.

_____________________________________________________________________________

It’s just a job, get over it and get over yourself. Jim was trying to psyche himself up for his first day at the Dunder-Mifflin Stamford branch. His family had stayed through the previous evening leaving his apartment looking much better. The fact it was by all accounts a beautiful summer day was lost as Jim rode the elevator to the third floor of his new office building. Stepping out of the elevator he caught a glimpse of the marina near the building as he made his way to the Dunder-Mifflin suite.

After introducing himself to the receptionist he was quickly shown to his new boss’ office. Jan was already there waiting to introduce him to Josh Porter, his new Manager. She left shortly after the quick meeting. The rest of the morning was filled with the typical paperwork he’d expected. Jim was glad and at the same time a small bit sad that Josh seemed to take his role of Regional Manager seriously, unlike the bluster of Michael Scott he’d come to know. Josh introduced him to his new co-workers before they headed down to Josh’s car. Unlike in Scranton, the Stamford branch warehouse was not on the same premises as the business office. A short ride across town had the two men at the warehouse. One of Jim’s roles as Assistant Regional Manager was to act as the liaison between the two sites. He was swiftly introduced to the warehouse Foreman and staff before Jim and Josh turned back to the car.

“And here’s your desk,” Josh told Jim cheerfully on their return. “Sorry it’s right in the middle of the sales floor, but hey, at least you’ve got a great view!”

 It is a nice view of the marina, Jim thought. Sailboats were out gliding on the water, taking advantage of the early afternoon breeze.

“I.T. should have your computer set up, so I’ll let you get to it.” Josh clapped Jim on the shoulder before turning to head back to his office.

Jim sat down in his new chair and pulled out the bottom drawer of his new desk. Like he had in Scranton he set his messenger bag inside before turning to his desk. After setting up his new voicemail message, he realized he’d skipped lunch and once more dug into his bag for the food he’d brought. The crinkle of his lunch bag caused the man in front of him to turn around.

“Sooooo, you’re the new guy!”

Cocking an eyebrow, Jim set his sandwich on his desk. “I’m the new guy,” he said simply.

“Andy Bernard,” the other man said while holding his hand out to Jim. “Cornell University.”

“Yeah,” Jim shook the proffered hand. “You said that when Josh and I came by earlier.”

“Right,” Andy raised his face to make it appear he was looking past his nose at Jim. “Watcha got for lunch there big new boss-man?”

Jim glanced down at the food on his desk. “Tuna salad sandwich, some chips, an apple,” he said in a non-plussed kind of way. Even though there were no camera present, Jim felt his eyebrows raise up in a face he’d once had described as his, “you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me,” look. But then he remembered who had first described that face to him. Described it while he had been leaning over her desk munching on jelly beans and he stilled his face.

“Tuna salad,” Andy remarked while giving what Jim thought was supposed to be a thoughtful expression before he pointed a finger at Jim. “From this day forth, you shall be known as Big Tuna. Make us proud.”

“Okay,” Jim replied as a slightly incredulous smile appeared on his face. Andy turned back around and started typing at his computer. Jim glanced around to see if anyone else had reacted to Andy. Feeling slightly disappointed, Jim saw that his new co-workers hadn’t given him or Andy a second look and were simply going about their jobs.

At least there’s only one crazy person here, Jim thought to himself as he started munching on his food. He was about to open his company email when the receptionist came by and dropped an envelope on his desk. When he picked it up the name on the return address almost made him choke.

P. Beesly

He sat frozen at his desk. His mind blank. He didn’t know how long he sat staring at the white envelope. Slowly the details started to register. Her loopy handwriting. The Scranton office’s address below her name in the upper left-hand corner. His own name in larger letters in the middle of the paper with Stamford’s address clearly written. The postmark that read June 9th.

That small number was what held Jim’s gaze for the longest. Written and sent before she was married. Finally, he shook his head. As if watching her nod her head after their kiss back in May hadn’t been bad enough, now he had a letter confirming her choice once and for all. At last a coherent thought entered his brain. No, not again. She made her choice and I have to live with that. Goodbye Pam.

He stood up and walked the few steps away from his desk. With one last glace he slid the sealed letter into the paper shredder. He turned back to his desk before it was all the way through the machine to resume his lunch. Like had happened so many times in Scranton recently, he didn’t taste his food. He was aware of eating it, crumpling up his trash, and tossing it in his small garbage can. Taking a cleansing breath, he turned back to his computer and opened his email.

He wasn’t in anyway expecting the flood of messages from familiar names. It looked like he had new emails from almost everyone from Scranton. All with a similar subject line.

The Wedding is Off!!

With a shaky hand he dutifully opened each email and read them. While he might have been willing to think the email from Dwight was an attempt to get back at him for years of pranks, the fact that nearly all his old co-workers were saying the same thing meant it had to be true. Finally, he reached the end of the emails. Looking at the inbox he saw they’d all come in on the previous Friday. Eleven in total, one from every employee in the business office of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton. From every employee but one. He sat staring at his monitor in shock. Why didn’t she say anything? Where’s her email? Wait a minute! The letter! What the hell have I done!

He got up from his chair so fast it nearly tipped over. However, when he reached the garbage can the paper shredder sat on, he only saw an empty bin. He looked around frantically. There by the front door he just barely caught the sight of one of the building Maintenace staff leaving. In his haste to catch up, Jim accidentally ran into the saleswoman named Karen he’d been introduced to earlier in the day. The stack of papers she’d been carrying went flying everywhere.

“Great thanks,” she snapped at him.

He muttered a quick apology and rushed out into the hallway. The doors to the service elevator were just closing as he appeared. Darting down the hall he pushed open the door leading to the stairwell. Taking the stairs two at a time he all but ran to the loading dock in the back of the building. The door leading to the dock was locked from his side of the lobby. He knocked loudly on the door.

“Come on, come on!” Jim muttered under his breath.

It was several minutes before the door opened to a confused Maintenace worker with the name Bill embroidered on his shirt. “Can I help you?”

“The shredded paper from Dunder-Mifflin!” Jim exclaimed. “Where is it?”

“On the truck heading to the landfill.” Stepping to one side Bill pointed across the dock where a large truck was pulling away.

Jim’s breath caught one more time as his head fell forward against the wall. Without a word to Bill, he headed back upstairs to Dunder-Mifflin. Karen was back at her desk behind his and was glaring daggers at him. He ignored her and opened his email again. Several new emails had come in while he’d been away. They were all related to his new position. None from his old co-workers. None from Pam. Despite Jim refreshing his inbox every other minute for the rest of the day, that’s how it stayed.

“Pam! Please call security!”

Dwight’s words barely registered to her as she pressed a tissue to her face. At first, she was only aware of herself coughing while tears started leaking out of her eyes. Other sounds soon reached her. Roy swearing on the floor in front of her desk. The deep bark of what could only be Jim coughing over by the potted plant. Dwight smugly calling for an immediate interview with the documentary crew. The sound of Oscar’s voice behind her picking up the phone to call downstairs for the security guard since she still hadn’t made a move for the phone.

“Come on Pam,” Oscar told her while gently putting a hand under her arm after he put the phone down. “Let’s get you outside.”

She let him lead her downstairs to the parking lot. Sitting down on the curb she kept try to blot the pepper spray from her face. It wasn’t doing much to ease the stinging sensation, but being outside at least made her breathing easier. There was rather large commotion as she heard Roy being led out of the building. It sounded like several people were holding him back. His swearing faded a touch as it sounded like he was being led over to the fence line away from the front door. Other people started filing out of the door adding their own voices. She wasn’t catching much and no one seemed to be paying her much attention. In some small way she was glad to be left alone. Her eyes and face still burned. Her mind though was racing.

He actually tried to attack Jim! Oh my god! I knew he was upset the other night, but I never thought he’d do anything like that! That’s not the Roy I grew up with. He may have had his faults, a lot of the actually, but he’s never been violent before. Well he did smash up Poor Richards, so there’s that. But he was drunk. No! You stopped making excuses for Roy’s behavior a long time ago. Don’t go starting again now. Just shows how right you were to tell him things were over.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear when two new cars pulled into the parking lot. It was only a strong male voice that finally broke through her racing mind.

“Ma’am, I’m Officer Booker. Are you hurt at all?”

“I can’t open my eyes, they’re really burning.”

“Don’t worry, we have an ambulance on the way. Sit tight for a bit. Eventually we’ll need to get a statement from you.”

She only nodded in response. She heard the officer walk away. Besides the general exclamations from her co-workers the only other thing she heard were the sounds of other police officers putting Roy into the back of one of their squad cars. Despite her earlier thoughts she couldn’t stop the waves of guilt. It was only when the deep rumble of a diesel engine entered the parking lot, followed by two doors opening and closing, that she tried looking around. But opening her eyes still hurt so she closed them again as two new voices reached her ears.

“Hey, rookie! Did you call us on scene?”

“Umm, crap, I don’t think so. Want me to?”

The responding voice had a note of exasperation to it. “No, I got it. Lackawanna dispatch.”

“Lackawanna, go ahead,” the reply came back with an electronic buzz to it.

“Pennsylvania Medic 4 on scene.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Deep breaths, he’s still new after all. Ethan Wilcox was trying hard to keep his temper in check as he climbed in the passenger seat of his ambulance. You’re a Lead Medic, act like it. Working with the newbies is part of the gig. Try to talking calmly before you go flying off the handle. Should have stayed on the night shift. You’re almost done with the shift anyway. It’s your weekend off tomorrow and you’re not due back in till Tuesday. It’ll good to turn off the pager for a bit.

He reached for the laptop to start writing his latest report while his partner, Jordan Peterson pulled out of the ambulance bay of the Geisinger Hospital Emergency Department. He expected to hear his new partner call into dispatch to inform them they were clear of their last call. However, he still wasn’t as they drove slowly through the parking lot. With a slight groan Ethan reached for the radio mic.

“Pennsylvania Medic 4, Lackawanna Dispatch.”

“Go ahead Medic 4.”

“We’re clear of Geisinger.”

“10-4, Medic 4. You are clear to your station, however you’re also 10-44.”

“Only truck available, 10-4,” he said back into the radio before hanging the mic on its clip. Please, just let me get back to the station, this shift has been long enough. Ethan spared a glance at his partner while he entered patient information into the computer. “Hey Jordan, you do know that it’s the person who’s driving that usually handles the radio, right? Just because you’re a Basic EMT, doesn’t mean you can’t talk to dispatch.”

“Oh!” Jordan seemed kind of surprised at the feedback. “I wasn’t sure.”

“Didn’t any of your Field Trainers tell you that when you were hired?”

“Well yeah,” Jordan replied as he started driving in the direction of their ambulance station. “It’s just all of the other medics I’ve worked with have told me to keep my hands off the radio.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to do that with me,” Ethan told him as he entered vital signs from his last patient into his report. “And forget all that, ‘I’m just an EMT. I can’t do anything,’ bull crap. Don’t let any medic push you around or make you feel like you can’t do anything. If they are, report them to a supervisor. You’re a fully licensed Emergency Medical Technician.  Not an ambulance driver. Like that last call. There’s no reason why you couldn’t have attended in the back for that one.”

“I just didn’t feel comfortable is all,” Jordan said shyly.

Ethan spared his partner a quick glance. “Women have been giving birth since time immemorial. Delivering a baby is well within your scope of practice. So is attending in the back. Now I’ll grant you, that last call was a bit of a departure. Getting called for vaginal bleeding only to walk in on our patient standing up from the toilet screaming, ‘it’s coming now,’ and then bending down to catch the baby isn’t really something we see every day.”

“I just don’t get how you were so calm about it all,” Jordan said.

Ethan set the computer down to give Jordan his full attention. He prepared a version of a speech he’d given many times to EMT and paramedic students. “First, I’ve been doing this job a lot longer than you, so there’s that. Second, I’m going to let you in on a secret. When push comes to shove, we don’t rise to the occasion. We sink to the level of our training. I don’t know how long ago you covered OB stuff in EMT school. If there’s anything you forgot, it would be a good idea to review it. Third, for good or bad the public have expectations of us. Usually those expectations are wrong because of TV and Hollywood. Still when someone calls 911 it’s because they don’t know what to do. They’re hoping that whoever does show up will know what to do, so we have to be ready for anything this city can throw at us.
“It might seem kind of hard to hear, but if there’s a part of this job that you’re not willing to do, you may want to find another line of work. Unlike doctors and nurses, we don’t get to choose what kind of patient we see. We can get called to anything so we have to be ready for everything. Make sense?”

Jordan nodded. “Yeah actually. Thanks. Most of the other medics I’ve been partnered with have told me to shut up and let them run the call.”

“I think I know who you’re talking about,” Ethan replied as visions a few of his co-workers flashed through his mind. “Like I said, don’t let crusty old medics push you around. Stand up for yourself.” Further discussion was halted as the radio crackled to life.

“Lackawanna dispatch, Pennsylvania Medic 4, report priority two.”

Ethan let his head drop for an instant before closing the laptop and reaching for the map book. There was no way he was getting off shift in time now. Beside him Jordan reached for the mic.

“Medic 4 go ahead.”

“Medic 4 report priority two. 1725 Slough Avenue. One-seven-two-five Slough Avenue. PD on scene of an assault. Four patients have been pepper sprayed. All patients will be in the parking lot on arrival. PD reports scene secure. Priority two.”

“10-4, Medic 4 en route,” Jordan said back into the radio.

The dispatcher parroted back the radio traffic to confirm Medic 4 had been heard. “Show you en route at 1710.”

Ethan quickly looked up the address in their map book. Looking out the windows, he quickly got his bearings and looked back down at the book. He gave Jordan directions to the address and set the book down next to his seat. Since dispatch had called for a priority two response Jordan didn’t active the lights or sirens. Reaching down Ethan put on a pair of medical gloves and got a pair for Jordan. He also tucked a few spare pairs into his cargo pocket.

Soon Medic 4 was pulling into the parking lot of a fairly non-descript office building. Ethan started scanning the scene as they pulled up. Two police cruisers were already on scene. A small crowd was gathered around a man and a woman sitting on a curb and looked to be holding cloths to their eyes. A third man was talking to one of the police officers. Ethan could see he was blinking and trying to keep his eyes open. The silhouette of another man was visible in the back of one of the cop cars.

“What do you want?” Jordan asked Ethan as he put the truck in park.

“Leave the cot and the jump bag in the truck,” Ethan ordered. “We only have twelve pepper spray wipes. Go ahead and grab all of them and a few bottles of sterile water and the paper towel roll while I go check with PD.”

“Got it,” Jordan said as he got out of the ambulance.

Clipping his portable radio to his back-pocket Ethan stepped down from the cab too. Then he remembered something. “Hey rookie! Did you call us on scene?”

Jordan froze at the question. He looked back at Ethan sheepishly. “Umm, crap, I don’t think so. Want me to?”

Ethan couldn’t help the slight note of stress in his voice. “No, I got it.” He grabbed his portable radio and brought it up to his face. “Lackawanna dispatch.”

“Lackawanna, go ahead.”

“Pennsylvania Medic 4 on scene.”

“Copy you on scene at 1720.”

Ethan let Jordan retrieve the supplies from the ambulance while he walked up to one of the police officers. “What do we got?”

The officer first pointed at the closer of the two squad cars. “The hot head in the car got the worst of it. Apparently, he rushed into one of the offices upstairs and was about to punch out the guy sitting on the curb over there. The loud one talking to my partner pepper sprayed him. The splash hit him, the intended victim, as well as the woman sitting on the curb over there.”

“You guys don’t have pepper spray wipes?” Ethan asked.

The officer shrugged apologetically. “Sorry no. Department policy. We’ve got to call you guys.”

“Right,” Ethan said as he looked around to start gauging his plan of action.

By this time Jordan had made it to Ethan’s side with the water and special wipes they used to clean off pepper spray. “What do you want to do?”

“Give me six of those. I’ll take the hot head in the car. You start with the guy over there with the other officer. You’ve only got three wipes per person so do as much as you can. Make sure you rinse out his eyes too. After than go check out the guy sitting on the curb. He looks like he’s coughing more than the woman. Hopefully hot head there in the cop car won’t give me too much trouble so I’ll go make sure she’s okay.” Ethan also unspooled a generous portion of paper towels to help with the cleanup.

“Got it,” Jordan nodded and walked off.

Ethan stuck three of the six wipes Jordan had given him in his pocket and headed for the cop car. There was another officer waiting to keep an eye on the man sitting inside. “He going to give me any trouble?” Ethan asked as he walked up.

The officer shrugged. “Shouldn’t. He’s calmed down a bit since we first got here. Kind of mouthy though.”

“Great,” Ethan said under his breath as he opened the door. “Hi there,” he started out. “My name’s Ethan. I’m a paramedic. What’s going on today?”

The man inside had his eyes shut tight and was shaking his head from side to side as he was unable to wipe at his face due to his hands being restrained behind him by handcuffs. “What the fuck do you think is going on! That dick over there fucking sprayed shit all over my face and it hurts like hell.”

Great another angry asshole. Still if he can yell at me that loudly he’s got a good airway and is breathing fine, Ethan thought to himself. He’d dealt with plenty like him during his career. Keeping his voice calm Ethan knelt down to be closer to the level of his patients face. “I’m sure it does. I’ve got some special face wipes that will take a lot of the sting off.”

“Well hurry the fuck up about it!”

Ethan raised his eyebrows at the shout. “First off sir, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to stop yelling at me. I wasn’t the one who pepper sprayed you. I’m only here to help. You and I are going to have a civil, adult conversation. So, stop throwing a temper tantrum like a child. Understand?”

“Fine, just do your thing.”

“No problem,” Ethan said as he ripped open the packed of his first wipe. He turned to the officer. “Can he get out of the car? It’s a lot easier for me to clean him up if he’s not in there.”

The officer allowed Ethan his request. He started at his patient’s eyes with his first wipe. “What’s your name and do you have any contacts in?” Ethan asked as he worked.

“What do you care?” his patient snapped.

“My bosses for one. I’ll need to get your name, birthdate and address eventually for the report I’m going to write. Also, it’s usually considered good manners that when someone introduces themselves to you, you tell them your name back. If you had contacts in that were pepper sprayed, I need to get them out or you could get vision damage.”

“Roy Anderson. No, I don’t have contacts.” came the grumbling reply.

“Thank you. Feeling any better?” Ethan asked as he started using his second wipe to clean off the area around Roy’s nose and mouth.

“A bit yeah. Still hurts though,” Roy muttered.

“It’s going to” Ethan told him. “These wipes only take the main sting away. When you get a chance, you’ll want to take a good long shower to get rid of the rest of it.”

Roy didn’t say anything else as Ethan used his last wipe. Tossing the used wipe to the ground he had Roy tilt his head back. He told Roy to open his eyes as much as possible. Ethan helped as best he could while pouring water over Roy’s eyes. He emptied one of the two bottles he had over Roy’s face. After wiping off Roy’s face with some of her paper towels he wrote down Roy’s personal information. Ethan then released him back to custody of the police officer. Looking around, Ethan saw Jordan had moved onto his second patient.

Ethan took off his medical gloves and reached into his pocket for a new pair. Walking across the parking lot he crouched down in front of the young woman. He was ripping open another wipe packed as he started talking to her. “Hi there. My name is Ethan. I’m a paramedic. I have some wipes that will take away a lot of the sting in your face. Can you tell me your name?”

“Pam Beesly,” she answered. “My eyes really hurt.”

“I’m sure they do. How’s your breathing doing?”

“Okay I guess,” Pam replied.

“Well that’s good.” Ethan said with a cheerful tone. “Before I get started, I do need to ask if you wear contacts or not.”

Pam nodded. Gently Ethan reached forward and helped Pam open her eyes. Taking care, he pulled out her contacts and tossed them aside. “If those got any pepper spray in them, they’re ruined,” he explained. “Do you have a pair of glasses?”

“In my purse upstairs,” Pam replied as Ethan began wiping her face.

“Hey!” Ethan called out to a Hispanic man standing nearby. “Do you work with Pam?”

“Yeah,” came the response.

“Great. Could you get her purse please?” After watching his impromptu helper depart, Ethan turned back to his patient. Carefully he used his remaining wipes to clean off her face. “Okay, I need you to tilt your head back and try to open your eyes as best you can. I’m going to pour some water over your face to try and wash the rest of the pepper spray out of your eyes.”

He helped her lean back. Holding her hair off to one side, Ethan slowly poured half his bottle over Pam’s right eye. He repeated the procedure on Pam’s left side. By the time he was done, Pam had her purse back. She dug through it and found her glasses case. Putting them on she looked directly at Ethan. He wasn’t ready for her next response.

“Oh my god! It’s you!”

Without warning she surged forward and threw her arms around Ethan.

_____________________________________________________________________________

New thoughts were starting to form in Pam’s mind as she felt the medic clear her face and eyes. That voice seems really familiar. What was the name of the paramedic who saved Jim? Was it Ethan? That was what, two years ago now? Oh, that feels so much better.

After drying her face with the paper towels, he offered her, she put her glasses on and got a good look at the paramedic kneeling in front of her. Her eye’s widened in surprise.

“Oh my god! It’s you!” Pam surged forward and hugged the man in front of her.

She felt him stiffen in surprise and rise to break the embrace before he started talking. “Whoa! Hold on there!”

Pam looked up at him and saw the expression of confusion on his face. “Sorry, it’s just I remember you. You were the one who saved the life of my friend a couple years ago. Don’t you remember me?”

“I’m sorry, not really. I respond to a lot of calls so faces sometimes blend together. Do you remember what the call was?” Ethan replied as he knelt down near Pam again.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” Pam turned and pointed to where Jim was now standing and talking to a police officer, Michael, and Toby. Karen was gripping his hand where she stood at his side. “I was with my friend,” her voice trembled a bit as she said that word. “He was hit in the chest with a baseball and you and a bunch of firefighters got his heart beating again.”

Realization bloomed on Ethan’s face as he looked back and forth between where Jim was standing and Pam. “Yeah! That’s right! I remember that call now. I actually talk about that one a lot when I’m teaching new medics. Sorry I didn’t recognize you at first. All I heard was that, I’m sorry what was your friend’s name again?”

“Jim,” Pam said softly.

“Right. All I heard was that Jim was sent up to the ICU and was discharged a few days later. I’m really glad he’s doing well.”

“Yeah, sure,” Pam hung her head a touch. “Well.”

Ethan was instantly concerned. Looking around he reviewed what the officer had told him about the call and the groups of people shuffling around the parking lot. Something wasn’t adding up. He looked back at Pam. “If I remember right, you were basically hanging onto Jim’s hand like you two were a couple that night. Now here you are sitting by yourself, another woman is clinging to his hand, and that Roy character is sitting in a cop car because he tried to attack Jim. There’s something going on here isn’t there?”

“I, umm, I don’t really want to talk about it,” Pam stammered.

“Fair enough.” Ethan backed off that line of questioning. “Since I’m here, I do have to ask if you want to go to the hospital?”

“I think I’ll be okay,” Pam told him.

“Not a problem. Stay here for a second. I have a form I need you to sign and I’ll need to get your birthdate and address for the record.”

Pam nodded and watched as Ethan made his way back to the ambulance. No, I don’t want to talk about it. This day has sucked enough. He’s a nice enough guy, but I don’t think he’s got anything in that ambulance that can fix a broken heart.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Hey Ethan! Could you come over here!” Jordan called out.

Looking up from where he was stepping down out of the ambulance carrying the metal clipboard that carried, among other paperwork, their Refusal of Care forms, Ethan saw Jordan waving at him. A tall man with thick glasses and a dour face, crossed arms, and hair parted down the middle of his head was standing near Jordan. With a sigh Ethan started walking to his partner.

“What’s up?”

Jordan jerked a thumb back at the tall man. “This guy doesn’t want to give me his information and says he’s not going to sign anything.”

“Really?” Ethan gave the man another glace.

“He keeps saying something about how he’s a former sheriff deputy and is exempt from anything like that.”

“Did you treat him?” Ethan asked as he started walking over to where the man was standing.

“Yeah,” Jordan said. “Wiped his face off and flushed out his eyes.”

“Okay, I got this.” Reaching the man Ethan faced him directly. “My partner here says you don’t want to sign our form or tell us your name.”

Ethan’s statement only earned him a glare from the man. “Correct. I am under no obligation to reveal my name to anyone in uniform.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal. We’ll keep all your information private.”

“You can’t say that for certain. How do you know there aren’t any hidden surveillance devices in your ambulance or wherever you store those forms?”

Ethan wasn’t in the mood for games. He took a deep breath before his eyebrows turned down in a bit of a glare. “Okay listen buddy. Here’s what’s going to happen. You already consented to treatment. You don’t have to go with us to the hospital, but under Pennsylvania state law you are obligated to sign my form and provide me with your correct name, date of birth, and legal address. Just give us that information, sign my form, and we’ll be out of your hair.”

“False, there is no such law. I am a former volunteer Lackawanna County Sherriff Deputy. I read all the laws on the books while I was with the department and that wasn’t there.”

Ethan only chuckled at the bluster. “A volunteer deputy? You mean the guys they get to sit at the front desk of the department, answer phone calls, and run off copies for the real Deputies? Yeah, they may have given you a uniform and a utility belt, but that’s only because they wanted everyone looking the same. Face it, you were just the receptionist.”

A look of shock and surprise came over the man’s face. “You still can’t force me to sign anything!”

“Actually, I can,” Ethan told him as a wry smile creeped on his face. There was no way Ethan was going to lose this argument and he knew it too. “Obstructing a Police Officer, Firefighter, or Paramedic working within the course of their duty inside Scranton city limits might only be a misdemeanor, but luckily for me, there’s a couple real cops standing right over there. Also, just to let you know, they like me better than you. So just tell me your name and all that, sign my form, or I’ll have the cops arrest you for obstruction.”

With a glower, the man pulled a pen out of his pocket and hastily wrote down his information on the sheet Ethan had on his clipboard. Glancing down to make sure it was all correct, Ethan looked back up and put an overly cheerful tone in his voice. “Thank you very much Mr. Schrute. I hope you have a great day.”

With that Ethan turned from Dwight and handed the sheet to Jordan. “Pretentious jerk,” he muttered under his breath.

“You okay?” Jordan asked as he walked next to Ethan.

“Yeah, just tired.” Ethan rubbed his forehead just above his eyebrows. Digging into the clipboard he handed Jordan another refusal form. “Here, go get this signed from your other patient.”

Returning to the cop cars Ethan saw the two suited men talking to Roy. He only caught the tail end of the conversation as he walked up.

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to do anything or not,” a sad looking man was telling Roy. “You still came into the office and attempted to attack a co-worker unprovoked. Not only were there witnesses, but the doc crew also caught it all on camera. Company rules are clear in this regard. Our hands are tied, we have to let you go.”

Interjecting as quickly as he could, Ethan had Roy sign a refusal form. Leaving Roy for the last time he walked back over to where Pam was now standing and talking to a police officer. He waited while Pam gave her statement to the officer before handing her the clipboard with a fresh form on top.

“Here’s that form I told you about.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Pam took the clipboard and the pen Ethan offered her and signed her name on a line at the bottom. She looked over at where Roy was standing. She glanced back to the officer. “What’s going to happen to Roy?”

“Legally nothing. The guy he tried to punch isn’t pressing charges.”

“It did sound like he’s going to be fired though,” Ethan told her.

Pam seemed to shrink a size. “Oh,” was all she said.

Ethan nodded at the officer who took the hint and walked away. “Do you know Roy well then?”

“He’s my ex-fiancé" Pam admitted.

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” Ethan said gently.

Pam looked up quickly. “Thanks.”

“Anything else I can do for you?”

Pam shook her head. “No, thanks for your help, again.” The briefest of smiles flashed in the corners of her mouth.

“You’re welcome. Just remember something. No matter how bad things get, they can always get better.” When Pam didn’t reply, Ethan turned around to walk back to the ambulance. Jordan was waiting for him in the driver's seat when he climbed back into the cab.

“Time to get out of here?” Jordan asked.

“As long as you have all the information you need for your reports.”

Jordan confirmed he did. A short radio conversation with Lackawanna dispatch later and Medic 4 was driving off into the rays of the setting sun.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Of all the Monday’s there have ever been, this Monday sucks the most! It’s not enough that Roy attacked him last Friday, now Jim won’t even talk to me even when I try to apologize. And to say we’ll get back together again! I never thought I’d ever see Jim act like that. He wouldn’t even look at me all day. At least Roy kept it together at the diner. Looks like he’s finally accepted we’re completely done now. Took him long enough.

To say that Pam was distracted as she pushed her grocery cart through the aisles of the local Giant supermarket was a bit of an understatement. She was so lost in her own world she crashed into another cart head on.

It was the straw that broke her back. Tears sprang to her eyes as she tried to apologize. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I hope I didn’t break anything of yours.”

A woman who looked to be near Pam’s age looked in her own cart to check things before looking up. “No, I don’t think so. Hey! Are you okay?”

Pam tried to wipe her cheeks but new tears replaced the one’s she wiped away. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied.

The other woman gave her a concerned look. “You don’t look fine. Standing in the middle of a supermarket with tears in your eyes. What you do look like is a woman who’s stretched thin and is at her breaking point.”

Raising her head up, Pam got a good look at the other woman. They were about the same height. She had straight brown hair pulled back into a simple ponytail. Kind blue eyes looked back at her from behind a pair of glasses on a pretty face. She was wearing simple blue jeans, sneakers, and a light blue tee shirt that said “Lake Michigan; Unsalted” across the front.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Pam admitted. She wasn’t sure why she was explaining this to a perfect stranger, but it did feel good to let it out.

“I’m Emily,” the woman told her. “I was just about to meet my husband for coffee. Would you like to join us?”

“I’m Pam, and I wouldn’t dare impose. Also, I just came from getting coffee, so yeah...” Pam’s voice trailed off.

Emily though was insistent. “You don’t have to get anything to drink, but it looks like you need to talk some stuff out. Please, you wouldn’t be imposing on anything. If it helps, I’m a social worker so I promise I can keep a secret. I’m sure my husband would too.”

Silently Pam nodded. Emily helped her find the rest of the items on her shopping list before they headed for the checkout lanes. Fortunately, the crowd that evening was light and so they soon had their groceries stowed in their respective cars and walked across the parking lot to a nearby coffee shop.

By this time Pam wasn’t crying anymore. She and Emily were making small talk as they walked into the shop. “I like your shirt,” Pam said.

Emily glanced down at it. “Oh thanks. It’s from my hometown of Grand Haven, Michigan. Coast Guard City USA! It’s right there on the shore of Lake Michigan and it really pretty in the summer.

Pam grabbed a table while Emily bought drinks for her and her husband who hadn’t shown up yet. Pam had her back to the door as Emily sat down with the two drinks.

“There we go,” Emily said as she sat down. It looked like she was about to ask Pam a question, but instead looked behind Pam and waved. “There’s my husband now. Ethan! Over here!”

Pam instantly perked up at the name. There’s no way, she thought. Her eyes grew wide as she turned in her seat. They grew wider still as indeed the paramedic from last Friday walked across the coffee shop towards the two women. His face lit up with surprise as he recognized Pam.

Ethan leaned down to give Emily a quick kiss before he sat down. “Hey honey.” He then turned his attention to Pam. “Pam, isn’t it? I didn’t know you knew my wife.”

Emily interjected. “Wait! You know Pam? You’ve never mentioned her before.”

“Actually, I have,” Ethan said. “We’ve met twice now. Remember that cardiac arrest call I had a couple years ago at the baseball field?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “The one you won’t shut up about you mean.”

“Yeah, that one,” Ethan said good naturedly as he put an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “It was Pam’s friend who was the patient on that call. Pam was also a patient of mine last Friday. That four patient pepper spray call I told you about.”

“So that’s the reason you were home late,” Emily kidded him.

“Hazards of the job,” Ethan said with a grin. A grin that faded when he saw Pam’s face. “Oh shoot, I’m sorry Pam. We were ignoring you. How do you know Emily?”

The sight of the playful banter between the two of them caused Pam’s heart to ache just a bit more. Jim and I used to be like that. “I, um, kind of ran into her shopping cart with mine over at the grocery store,” she said softly.

“Pam looked like she was having a rough day, so I invited her here,” Emily told her husband. “Hope you don’t mind.”

Ethan shook his head. “Not at all.” He looked back at Pam. “I don’t know if Emily told you or not, but she’s a social worker. Obviously, you know I’m a paramedic. We’re both pretty good at listening if there’s anything you want to get off your chest. I promise you, on my honor as an Eagle Scout, we won’t tell anyone.”

Emily rolled her eyes in Ethan’s direction again before looking back at Pam. “He may be a dork, but please believe me, he won’t break that promise.”

Ethan’s always been nice when I saw him in the past. Emily seems nice too. It would be good to unload some of this stuff that’s been bouncing around in my head. Pam took a deep breath and started talking. She told them about her former engagement, Jim’s friendship, the after effects of Casino night, the months of separation when Jim had been in Stamford, the disappointment she’d felt when he returned with a girlfriend on his arm, how her loneliness had led her to getting back with Roy, and of course how that relationship had fallen apart again. To their credit, Emily and Ethan didn’t interrupt her. They sipped their drinks calmly while Pam talked. Finally, she finished and started twisting her hands together.

“Wow,” Ethan spoke first. “And all this time there’s been documentary cameras covering everything?”

“Not all of it,” Pam told him. “They only showed up about two years ago. Some of this stuff has been going on for longer than that.”

“No wonder you’re having a bad day,” Emily said kindly.

“More like a bad decade now that I look back on it all.” Talking had helped some, Pam realized, but it had also triggered a host of bittersweet memories. “The real sucky thing is a while back I had this student art show. I was feeling really good going into it. Getting my stuff out there and all. Well I got some bad reviews, but it also made me think. Made me not want to be such a doormat, you know? Afterwards I promised myself that I was going to be more honest and go out and get what I wanted. Then the first time I really tried to be honest, it all blows up in my face. Twice really. Once at the bar and again last Friday.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that wasn’t fun. Let me ask you something though.” Emily leaned forward in her seat a touch. “All this time you’ve been talking about you and Roy or you and Jim, or Jim and this Karen person. The only time you really talked just about you was when you mentioned starting art classes or just now talking about that art show. So, what I want to know is, who is Pam? Not Pam and Roy or Pam and Jim, just Pam.”

Who am I? I’m not sure. She repeated her thought back to Emily. The other woman nodded and took a second to collect her thoughts before speaking again.

“Would you like to hear some of my observations?” she asked Pam. On getting a nod Emily went on. “I see a woman who wants to be brave. Who wants to be confident and in control. I think you’ve made some strides in that regard, breaking up with a fiancé who took you for granted, getting your own place, starting art classes and the like. All good things. However, I think there’s still one thing holding you back.”

Pam felt her eyes lower in confusion. “What’s that?”

“This guy Jim you’re so hung up on. It’s obvious you have feelings for him. You probably have for years based on some of the stories you told us. But all those things you seem to be wanting, courage, confidence, strength. I don’t think you’re going to find them if you keep pining after him. Hoping he’ll come to his senses, dump his girlfriend, run back to you, ask you out on a date, and kiss you breathless.”

Ethan nodded. “As usual, I think Emily’s right. I mentioned earlier I was in Boy Scouts. During college I actually worked at the local Boy Scout summer camp as the rope course director. I had to tell a lot of Scouts to stay in their 6-foot world.”

Now Pam was really confused. “What does that mean?

“It’s a technique I used a lot when I had Scouts freeze on one of the obstacles while they were 40 feet in the air,” he said while taking a sip of his coffee. “The 6-foot world in that context, meant there was quite literally nothing they could do outside of about a 6-foot circle from where they were at the time. It doesn’t matter if they were going to be late for lunch or their next merit badge class if they couldn’t reach four feet to their left and grab the next rope to get to the next platform. All the distractions we let cloud our minds are just those, distractions. The only thing they could control was what was within 6 feet of them, and that’s what they should be focusing on.
“It’s applicable off a ropes course too. Jim isn’t paying you attention? I know that’s not nice, but you can’t control his thoughts or actions. It’s outside your 6-foot world. Can you control how you act around him? Sure, so that’s in your 6-foot world. Roy wanted to punch Jim out? Again, that was Roy’s decision and now he has to live with the consequences. Roy’s actions last Friday are outside your 6-foot world. You didn’t tell him to do what he did, nor are his actions your fault.
“See what I mean? All the thoughts we have about what this person says, or what they think of us, all the what if scenarios we come up with time and time again are just outside things trying to get in your personal 6 feet. It’s how I get through some of the really hard calls in my job. I need to remind myself of that too, cause there’s a lot I see that sadly tends to stick around and makes me distracted.”

“Like what?” Pam asked.

Ethan squirmed in his seat for a second while Emily put a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t tell this story a lot, because it’s one of the hardest calls I ever responded to. My partner and I were sitting post and it was getting near the end of our shift. Another one of our crews was dispatched to the scene of an assault. Unfortunately, they walked in on a murder scene. There was nothing they could do for the woman who had been killed. They called the police obviously and then got a time of death from one of our ER doctors and cleared the scene. A little while later the police wanted an ambulance to return to the scene. We were the only ambulance available at the time so we were sent. Turns out, the woman who had been killed was also pregnant at the time. I’ll spare you the details of how she was killed, but it wasn’t pretty. We were called back because the police didn’t know if they needed a second time of death for the unborn child. I called the ER doctor, and no, we didn’t. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the woman who was killed had two other small children who were asleep in the next bedroom.”

Pam had her hands over her mouth as she listened to Ethan’s story. “That’s horrible,” was all she could say.

“Yeah,” Ethan agreed. His voice was tight and Pam could see that he had to swallow a few times before he started talking again. “I went home quiet after that shift. Normally I went right to bed when I got home back when I worked the night shift. I couldn’t that day. I remember sitting on the couch in the living room of the apartment we were in at the time just staring at the blank TV screen. Clearly it hit me hard. You don’t see calls like that on the EMS shows on TV. In Hollywood, paramedics almost always show up just in the nick of time, save the life, and ride off into the sunset. Good triumphs over evil. Makes for a great TV show, but in reality, it’s bullshit. That day, evil won, no question about it.”

“What did you do?” Pam asked through her fingers.

“I took some deep breaths, a lot of them actually, put on some of my favorite music, and I prayed. Now I’m not saying that to be preachy or anything. However, it’s my faith that keeps me going through a call like that. This huge big thing shoved itself into my 6-foot world and I couldn’t get it out. That happens sometimes. I had this big thing hanging over my shoulders that I didn’t want and couldn’t bear, so I gave it to one who I believe could bear it. I don’t know if you go to church regularly or not. That’s not the point. I’m just trying to tell you how I was able to find peace after one of the hardest times in my life.
“I have a playlist of some inspirational hymns that I like to listen to. One of them is called, “How Firm a Foundation.” The second to last verse is one that’s always resonated with me and after listening to it, I don’t know how many times that day, I was able to calm down. Would you like to hear it?”

Pam nodded.

Ethan cleared his throat. “Don’t worry I won’t sing it,” he said with a small smirk.

“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flames shall not hurt thee, my only design,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.”

“Sounds pretty,” Pam said. “But I’m not quite sure what it means.”

Emily spoke this time instead of Ethan. “It means that sometimes the hardships we face in life are really just the things that are getting rid of the distractions we face. If we can be strong enough, oftentimes it’s the hardest times in life that we’ll grow the most. It’s because we have to. Why do anything different or make a change when things are going good? When things aren’t going good we have to change, adapt, or run the risk of letting life crush us.
“If we can make those changes and stand strong against the crush of life, we’ll see that we’re better people because of it and the person who comes out of that fire is stronger. Make sense?”

“Kind of,” Pam said. Both Ethan and Emily had just given fairly lengthy speeches and a lot of the words were rolling around in her head.

Ethan tried a different tact. “Think of it this way. Have you ever seen footage of a blacksmith making a sword or a knife?” He waited for a beat while Pam nodded again. “Okay, in order to create what can be a work of art, the smith has to plunge the raw iron into the heat of the forge. Get it really hot, and then pound it into shape on an anvil. That process gets repeated a bunch of times before the blade is finally quenched and tempered. Afterwards what was once a raw piece of metal is now forged into something that has strength and purpose. But it wouldn’t have gotten like that without the heat of the forge or the pounding of the hammer.”

A memory sprang to life in Pam’s mind. “Actually, that sounds like something my sister told me.” Pam told them about Penny’s analysis of the end of The Lion King.

“Yes! That’s it exactly!” Ethan exclaimed.

The stories and analogies were starting to resonate in Pam’s head now. “So, let’s see if I get what you guys are trying to say. Basically, you’re saying I’ve got a lot of distractions in my life, based on all the crappy stuff that’s happened in my past. I’ve got to be willing to let all those distractions get burned away so I can focus on those things that I can control and what really matter to me.”

“I think that’s accurate,” Emily told her. “Also remember everything we’ve told you here today is a process. Don’t just go rushing into it. Take your time, write things out, or draw them out if that’s easier for you. You said earlier that there have been times since Jim got back that you felt it was like old times. Focus on those. I know you also said he blew you off today, but he’s probably still reeling from the shock of everything that happened on Friday. Give him some time. While you do, use that time to figure out who you are. Not for Roy, not for Jim, for you.”

Pam nodded again. She looked down at her shoes for an instant before looking back up at Ethan and Emily. “This has been a really good conversation. Thank you. Especially you Emily. I mean I was just this clutzy person who ran into your shopping cart. Thanks for taking the time to help me out.”

Emily smiled and reached out a comforting hand to squeeze Pam’s. “You’re welcome. I can give you my number if you’d like to talk more about all this.”

Pam felt a smile form on her face and a warmth in her heart she hadn’t felt in days. “I’d like that.”

The three of them chatted for a bit longer about decidedly less serious topics. Eventually they got up and headed back to their cars. As Pam drove back to her apartment, she felt the heaviness around her heart seemed to have lessened. After putting her groceries away, she went to her bedroom and pulled out her sketch book. Soon an image of a roaring fire was centered on the page. Instead of logs, she’d written out words like, Roy, Karen, and even Jim. In the smoke above the fire, were the words Fancy New Beesly. Even though it had been Jim who had given her the nickname, for the first time she felt like she was starting to live up to the title. She set the sketch down next to her framed picture of Jamie and a small stuffed dog.

_____________________________________________________________________________ 

The coals in front of her glowed red and orange. They seemed to be shimmering in the cool night. On either side a few logs were still burning brightly. Pam knelt down and waved a hand over the coals. It was hot, but to her it was a good heat. The warmth seemed to travel up her arm and add fuel to the fire that had been slowly building up in her over the past month. She stood back up and placed one foot in front of the other. She began rocking back and forth for a few moments while she got herself ready.

This is it! No more being scared. No more letting people walk all over me. No more letting the past hurt me. I don’t want to hurt like that anymore. I WON’T hurt like that anymore. Time to let all that crap that’s been holding me back just fall into the fire. Let it all burn away for new life, for strength. Let it burn away for me.

She spared a nearby camera a quick grin. Before any tendrils of fear could take hold, her feet were moving. It was only three steps to the other side. For Pam time seemed to slow down.

STEP! The searing heat of the coals shot into her foot and up her leg.

STEP! All the pain, rage, frustration, anger, heartache, and loss she’d been feeling sank down into the fire, to be utterly consumed and reduced to ash.

STEP! The heat of the fire flooded into her heart. Strength, confidence, and most importantly, courage flooded in to fuel what now felt like an inferno in her heart.

Her feet landed on cool sand. Turning around quickly Pam found she was slightly breathless. Adrenaline was coursing through her as she briefly looked back at the camera. Looking to her right she saw her co-workers gathered around a small campfire looking at Dwight. Flush with her new-found courage she burst into the circle. Her voice was strong and confident. No one was ignoring her now. Then her eyes fell on Jim. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and her feet were really starting to hurt now. She held it together and watched as the grin he’d had on his face turned into surprise and shock. Her courage held as her words tumbled out of her mouth. Finally, there was only one thing left to say.

“Yeah, it’s a good day.” Ignoring the looks of shock that followed her, she quickly made her way down to the lake. The water eased the pain in her feet, but couldn’t quench the blaze within her spirit. It might have only been a few minutes, it might have been longer but she heard footsteps in the sand behind her. Even before he spoke, she knew it was him.

“How are your feet?”

“Medium rare. Thanks,” She grinned back up at him. She loved that he grinned back at her joke.

He paused for a beat but his voice still seemed light. “The real reason I went to Stamford was because I wanted to be...not here”

She nodded at him. “I know.” Believe me, I know Jim.

When he went on his voice got slower this time. “And even though I came back, I just feel like I’ve never really come back.

He’s reaching out, remember you can’t control what he does, only what you do. But I don’t care. I want my best friend back. “Well I wish you would.”

Jim stood stock still. They looked at each other as if they were mentally review their long relationship. It was Jim who broke the silence.

“I want to.” He took a deep breath, looked out over the lake for an instant and then back at Pam. “You’ll always mean a lot to me Pam. Also, you were right back there. Things have been weird between us. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I do want to have fun with you again. Like when we hid Andy’s phone or when we almost sent Dwight to the CIA.”

Pam found herself smiling back at him. “I’d like that too.”

“Friends again?” Jim asked with a hopeful smile.

“Always,” Pam replied. Stepping out of the water they shared a quick hug before heading back up the beach.

They split apart from each other when they reached the main group. She noticed Karen was alternating from glaring daggers at both her and Jim, but at last the stare did nothing to break the calm she had inside. She also noticed Jim wasn’t looking back at his girlfriend. His eyes were on her as he put his chin in his hands. It looked like there were a lot of things he was thinking about.

Take your time Jim. A grin broke out on her face though. I don’t know why, but this feels like the start of something big.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“We’re not going to talk about this?”

Jim glanced over at where Karen was sitting in the passenger seat of his car. “There’s nothing to talk about. Pam said she missed me. We’ve been friends for a long time and she was right. I’ve been an ass and have been treating her poorly.”

“Jim!” Karen scoffed. “I don’t know who you were listening to, but Pam was trying to make a move on you. I mean it was bad enough for me having to listen to her go off like that, but then MY boyfriend just gets up and just goes off to talk to another woman. I mean come on what kind of selfish person does that!”

“Okay stop! Right now!” The heat in Jim’s voice surprised even him. “For years, Pam has been the best friend I’ve ever had. She wouldn’t try to steal me away from any girlfriend. It’s not in her to be like that. And if you haven’t noticed, you’re here in the car with me right now, not her. So, lay off!”

Karen sulked back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine, just get me home. Pick me up tomorrow at nine and we can get rid of that stupid homeless haircut of yours.”

The rest of the car ride was silent. Karen kept her face looking away from Jim. He just maintained his white-knuckle grip on the wheel as his own thoughts continued to race as they had been since Pam’s speech.

She broke off the wedding for me! Damn! I wish I hadn’t shredded that letter of hers. But she knows I’m with Karen now. But do I even want to be with Karen? Did I ever want to be with Karen? Well yes on some levels, clearly. If Pam can be that honest about things, maybe I need to start being honest with myself too. You’re not over Pam. You never have been. Karen’s never made you feel even half of what you’ve felt for Pam. But it hurt so much, watching her nod after Casino Night. But that was also a while ago now. Pam’s grown past that. Damn, I’ve been an ass to her. Throwing back her apology the Monday after Roy tried to hit me. Not going out for coffee my first day back. All those times I just walked past her without saying anything. She deserves better than that. If she can be that brave and repair our friendship, I can be brave too and talk to her more.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“So, who do you think will get the job?”

It was the last interview spot of the day and Pam was already looking forward to getting out of the conference room. After stumbling over her words earlier she’d needed to take a few breaths before they went on.

“I haven’t heard anything. But I bet Jim got the job. I mean why wouldn’t he? He’s totally qualified and smart. Everyone loves him.” I love him! Feels good to finally think that. “And if he never comes back again, that’s okay. We’re friends. And I'm sure we’ll stay friends.”

The fact that those words left her mouth so easily was a balm to her. She was happy with herself, her choices, and her life. She didn’t even realize she was starting to ramble, due to her good mood.

“We just, we never got the timing right. You know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, and... but you know what? It’s okay! I am totally fine. Everything is gonna be totally-”

Without warning the door opened. She glanced over and there he was. Jim Halpert causally leaning through the doorway.

"Pam! Sorry," he said with a nod to the camera as it panned up at his sudden appearance before he looked back at her. "Um, are you free for dinner tonight?"

"Yes," was her immediate response.

"Alright, then it's a date." He turned and closed the door.

OH MY GOD!!! He’s back! He said date! If there was a time in her life that she smiled wider, she couldn't remember it. Suddenly she remembered where she was and looked back up at the camera.

“I’m sorry what was the question?”

I just took Pam out on a date! An actual, real date and both of us knew it at the same time too! Holy shit! Did that really just happen?

Still in a daze Jim was making his way back to his car. He’d just dropped off Pam at her apartment with an amazing goodnight kiss. He started whistling to himself as he spun his car keys on his finger. Lost in his thoughts, he had almost made it back to his car when he heard a shout from behind him and the sound of feet rushing up the sidewalk.

“Jim!”

Turning at the sound of his name, he was just in time to see Pam as she flung herself at him. Instantly his arms wrapped around her. He felt her own arms surround him and hold tight. Bringing a hand up he tangled it in her hair, he leaned his head down to be closer to hers.

He became concerned as her face became buried in his sweater. “Hey now, what’s this? Are you okay?”

She shook her head slightly. “I can’t Jim.”

“Can’t what?” His thoughts instantly went back to the last time he’d hear her say those words. Now though after their date and the fact she was safely in his arms, there wasn’t so much fear in his chest as nervousness.

Raising her head to look at him, Jim saw a small touch of fear in her face. “I can’t watch you walk away again. Not with me wearing this dress and you wearing that outfit after what happened last time. I let you walk away from me once and it nearly broke both of us. There’s no way I’m going to let that happen again.”

Relief flooded through him. He held her close and leaned down to press a quick kiss to the top of her head. He started slowly rocking her back and forth. “Oh Pam. I promise you I’m not going anywhere.”

He felt the tension in Pam’s frame relax as she pressed herself against him. They stayed holding each other for a while longer. Eventually Pam released her hold on him and took a step back to look into his face. Jim was ready to see tears brimming in her eyes, but the only thing he saw was her face shining back up at him. She had a soft smile on her face as she pulled him down to press her lips to his.

“Thank you, Jim,” she said after breaking the kiss. She leaned her head back against his chest. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Jim felt his eyes grow wide. He’d only been expecting dinner with her. The thought of spending the rest of the night was a heady idea. However, he rapidly found it was not an unwelcome thought. “Sounds good. I’ve been wanting to see your fancy new apartment.”

Pam took a step back and looked nervously back at her door. “Actually, it’s kind of a mess in there right now. Could we head to your place instead? If you’re willing to wait for a few minutes, I can quickly back an overnight bag. That way you’re not stuck in nice clothes all night long.”

Pam back at my place? Could this night get any better? Well, yes, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Still I hope she doesn’t mind a quick stop on the way back, best to be prepared.

Before thoughts of his many fantasies involving Pam invaded his brain, he was talking to her. “Sure. Do you want me to wait out here or can I at least come in the door?”

“Oh, I think you’ll be fine out here,” Pam grinned at him. “Wouldn’t want anyone to steal your car and leave you stranded, now would you?”

“Always thinking of me, aren’t you?” Jim grinned back.

“Perks of being the girlfriend,” Pam said with a smirk. Before Jim could muster a reply, she had turned around and was making her way back to her apartment. Jim leaned against the side of his car to watch her. After her door closed, he found he need to take a deep breath and his hands ran up into his hair.

Girlfriend. Pam’s my girlfriend! Not just my friend. I mean of course she’s still my friend, best friend, always will be. But, holy crap!  You’ve been wanting this for years! ‘This is my girlfriend Pam,’ I actually get to say that for real now! Jim’s thoughts continued to run in similar vein while he waited. Here she comes. She’s so beautiful.

Soon, Pam was walking back to Jim’s car with a small bag slung over her shoulder. Rather than walking around to the passenger door, she walked up to him and threw her arms around him once more. Jim enthusiastically returned her embrace. He heard her give a contented sigh as his arms snaked around the bag.

“Not that I don’t love holding you Beesly,” Jim started. “But you’ll have to let go of me so we can drive back to my place.”

“Don’t wanna,” she said with fake pout and snuggled her face in his sweater.

He only chuckled at her playfulness. Without warning he reached down and scooped her up bridal style. Ignoring her yelp of surprise and laughing shouts to put her down he carried her around to the passenger door of his car. Setting her down, he quickly opened the door. When she didn’t make a move to sit down, he moved around to stand behind her. He put one hand at her waist and the other on the bare skin of her shoulder while he leaned over her opposite shoulder.

“I have ways of making you sit down,” Jim whispered into her ear. He was rewarded by the feel of goose bumps raising on her shoulder under his hand.

“Fine.” Her mock-annoyance plain, she tossed her bag in the back and sat down.

Jim closed the door for her. Moments later they were back on the road heading for his townhouse. He kept his hand near the shifter expecting her to take it like she had been all night. When she didn’t, he looked over and saw she was fiddling with his iPod. He smiled as a wave of nostalgia swept over him. “What’s on the playlist this time?”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find something,” Pam told him without looking up. “Ooh! Here’s a good one! Kinda, surprised you have it on here, but it’ll work.”

He gave her a curious glace but she was already hitting play and setting the iPod back down. At once the first notes of drums and electric synthesizer came out of the speakers. He frowned since he didn’t recognize the tune at first, but when the first lyrics started, he started grinning. She’d obviously been paging through his 80’s music and the chosen song was a good one.

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in, 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some long-forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.

“Any reason you chose that song?” Jim asked as the song continued.

Pam was bobbing her head along to the music. “Oh, it’s been an old favorite of mine, but always kind of bittersweet. I want to start having good memories with this song from now on.”

“What kind of memories?”

She looked back at him. “You sure you want to hear this story? Fair warning it skates around my first date with Roy.”

Jim shrugged. “First, you broke up with Roy over a month ago. Second, and more importantly, we’re together now, so I think I can handle those stories easier now.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I think you know the story of my first date with Roy back when we were in high school. The hockey game where he left me behind and all. Trust me it, royally sucked and after it was done, I was all but certain I’d tell him no if he asked for a second date. Especially since there was another guy I kinda sorta liked more than Roy who also asked me out at the same time.”

Jim’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “And you’ve always said you were the invisible art chick back in high school. All this time you’ve been holding out on me! Sounds like you had to beat the guys off with stick!”

Grinning at his teasing tone, she swatted his arm. “Hush you! Anyway, this other guy didn’t go to my school, but he saw me drawing this one time. He seemed interested and asked to meet to see what I was working on. He had the bad timing to ask the same day as the hockey game which I had already agreed to. Or more like my friend Isabel had agreed to for me since I was jinxed at the time.
“When I told the other guy, I was busy that night he asked for a rain check, so I said yes. But that was all I ever heard from him. I like to think he didn’t intentionally blow me off because he seemed really great. A couple days after the hockey date, this song came on the radio and I was thinking of the non-rain check at the time and it stuck.”

“So, let me get this straight.” Jim spared a glance at Pam as he negotiated a corner. “You had two guys ask you out at the same time. Go out with the second choice of the two and never heard from the one you actually wanted to be with ever again?”

Pam shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, if only I’d had a crystal ball to look into the future. See how things turned out. I might have tried harder to find the other guy.”

Jim spared her a look as he turned a corner. “So, you tried to find him? What did you do?”

“I really only knew his first name and what school he went to,” Pam went on. “Unfortunately, it was a bit too far for me to drive over during lunch and I never saw him by the time I got there after school. Then Roy started tailing me, begging for another chance so I stopped driving to his school. Think how awkward that would have been? ‘Hi, I’ve been trying to find you for three months now. Don’t mind the big football jock over there with the flowers who’ll probably try to punch you out for even looking at me. When are you going to cash in on that rain check?’”

“If it had been me, I would have done all I could to find you,” Jim said with a soft smile.

Pam grinned back at him with the glint of mischief in her eye. “How do I know it wasn’t you? Don’t you have your own long-lost high school love?”

Jim let out a loud laugh at the question. “Oh, that would be fun wouldn’t it? Sorry to say I don’t ever recall asking a girl for a rain check.”

“Too bad,” Pam said as she reached for the iPod again since “Africa” had finished. She kept her eyes on the machine and didn’t look up until she felt the car turn off the road. Looking outside she saw Jim was pulling into a 24-hour drugstore. “Need to pick up more fabric softener?” she teased.

“I’m good in that regard actually,” Jim said as he put the car in park. “No, I, um, figured I’d stop here quick to make sure we’ve got everything we might need for tonight.”

Pam furrowed her eyes a bit. “I packed everything I need before we left my apartment. Why? What else do you think we might need tonight?”

Jim felt his nerves rising again. “Um, just in case, and I don’t want to pressure you in any way, but I figured it would be better to have a box of condoms and not need them than not have them and need them.”

He watched as her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh.”

“I mean I don’t have to go in and get a box if that’s what you want!” Jim started talking very fast. “It’s only our first date after all and, um, like I said I don’t want to pressure you or do anything to ruin our friendship. I know you said you wanted to still be with me tonight and all, but I just you know...”

“Jim!” Pam cut him off. Her cheeks were slightly red, but she was smiling. “Could you shut up for a second?”

“Sorry.”

She put a calming hand on his. “I think it’s sweet of you to think of that, but you don’t have to worry. I’ve been on the pill for years.”

It was Jim’s turn to feel his eyebrows raise. “Oh, okay then. So, we don’t need anything here.”

“No, we don’t,” Pam smiled at him. As he pulled back onto the road, she spoke up again. “I’m kinda surprised you’d even need to stop for condoms.”

“What do you mean?”

She kept her eyes on his face to judge his reaction. “Just because I don’t like to think about it, doesn’t mean I’m not aware. You just got out of a six-month relationship with a very attractive woman. I figured you’d already have a box of condoms or other protection.”

“Ah, about that,” Jim still seemed nervous. “Karen never actually spent the night at my place and I never did at hers either. That includes back in Stamford too.”

“You mean all this time?” Pam was shocked. “I mean everyone basically thought you guys were sleeping together from the start.”

Jim shrugged. “The difference between perception and reality. And trust me, Karen was, is, all about how she’s perceived. Away from the office and the cameras however, she was always saying how sleeping together would make things weird around the office. Stuff like that. So, we never really got past first base.”

“So, you two just shared a bed in New York and didn’t do anything?”

“Basically, I mean it was a nice evening before then, but then when we got back to the hotel, she was all about how she needed to prepare for the interview and that meant getting a good night sleep.” Jim said with a slight grimace.

“Oh, I guess that’s not how I pictured your relationship is all.” Pam hung her head slightly. She perked up just as Jim pulled into the driveway of his townhouse. “So, wait a sec. If I recall, your last kind of semi-serious girlfriend was Katy, wasn’t it? Has it been that long for you?”

“Um, now you’re really going to be surprised. Never did it with her either.”

“What! But she was gorgeous!”

Jim cocked an eyebrow at her as they made their way through his garage door into his kitchen. “You’re saying you wanted me to have slept with every girl I’ve gone out with?”

“Well, no, it’s just, well, um,” Pam stammered.

“It’s okay,” Jim said as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. “Didn’t you ever wonder why it was so long between times that I saw her? Between the day Ryan almost burned the office down and that cruise Michael made us all go on?”

“A bit,” she admitted. “But if you don’t want to, you don’t have to tell me the reason.”

He grinned back at her. “I think you’ll like this reason, I hope. She picked me up after the office fire day and we ended up back at my old place. Well things were getting kinda hot on the couch till I said the wrong thing.”

“Ooh, this sounds good,” Pam was grinning back at him.

Jim smirked back. “Well we were on the couch like I said and I leaned over and whispered in her ear, ‘I love you Pam.’ Needless to say, she didn’t take it very well.”

Pam’s hands shot to her face. “Oh my god! You didn’t!”

“I did,” Jim said sheepishly. “Going on the booze cruise with me was her giving me one last shot, but I ended up dumping her there on the boat. Defiantly, not in the top ten moments of Jim as a boyfriend.”

“Wait stop,” Pam leaned back from him. “You had a second chance with her but didn’t even wait ‘til we got back to shore to break up with her?”

“In my defense, I’d just had to toast the woman I was actually in love with setting the date for her wedding to another man.”

Instantly Pam’s face softened. “Oh Jim.” She leaned forward and hugged him tight. “Can you ever forgive me for all the pain I’ve caused over the years?”

He returned her hug with equal force. “Only if you can forgive me for the same this past year.”

“Of course, I can,” she said into his sweater.

“Same here,” he assured her.

They stayed in each other’s embrace for several minutes. It was Pam who finally let go. She stepped back and leaned against a counter. Her playful tone of voice came back. “Okay so, no sex with either past girlfriend. Jim are you going to stand there and tell me you’re still a virgin?”

“Why so curious all of a sudden?” he countered.

“Well, you know my number,” she said. “One. I figure that I should know what your number really is. No misinterpretations.”

“Well when you put it like that.” Jim stepped back over to her and pinned her against the counter. “No, I’m not a virgin. Like you my number is one. Before you ask, it was my old girlfriend back in college who dumped me two weeks before we graduated, moved to California, and I’ve never heard from since. Okay with you?”

She grinned back up at him, mainly due to how close he was to her. “Just fine.”

Further talk was stifled as he leaned down to kiss her. Like before one hand found its way into the curls of her hair while the other caressed her back. For her part, Pam also had her hands in his hair doing her best to mess up his new haircut. Jim started kissing a trail across her cheek and to the crook of her neck. Pam’s grip on his head tightened as she felt goosebumps start to rise once more.

“You were wrong earlier,” she said somewhat breathlessly.

“Wrong about what?” he asked without leaving her neck and shoulder.

“That this is our first date. By my count this is date number three.”

He brought his head up at that. “How do you figure?”

She had another soft smile on her face. “Counting backwards, tonight is number three. Number two was the day we spent getting stuff for Kevin’s I-don't-have-cancer-slash-Michael's birthday party.”

“A stretch, but I’ll give it to you,” Jim resumed his kissing of her neck and shoulder, but on the other side now. “What was number one then?”

Pam brought her hands to either side of Jim’s face and brought it up so she could look into his eyes. Her smile was back on her face. “Dinner, a show, and dancing, or in our case swaying, made for a very romantic first date.”

Jim found he couldn’t say anything. It was if her kind words had placed a bandage around his heart. Rather than saying anything he bent down to kiss her again. He kept kissing her as he lifted her off the floor and walked to the base of the stairs. She broke off the kiss as he placed her feet on the first step. She took his hand and led him up the stairs to the top landing. Jim picked her back up and resumed kissing while walking into his bedroom. They kept kissing, as soon her dress and undergarments fell to the floor to join the small pile his clothes had already made there.  As they fell into bed together the memories of his fantasies were quickly erased as Jim felt the warm reality of finally being completely with Pam.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Morning light streaming through the window caused Jim to wake up. For the first time in a long time he felt rested and comfortable. Lazy thoughts entered his mind. What a great dream I had. Wait a sec!

His train of thought was brought to a crashing halt as his current situation resolved itself. He opened his eyes and tangles of honey-brown curls filled his vision. Warm skin was pressed against him. A large smile bloomed on his face as he looked over Pam who was spooned next to him. His right arm was nestled under her head to the point his arm was more of a pillow for her than any of the actual pillows on the bed. His left arm was draped neatly over her waist but bent up due to the fact Pam was clutching his forearm to her chest. Jim discovered that feeling caused other, not unpleasant reactions and he quickly adjusted how he was laying so not to be uncomfortable. Scooting closer her placed his head next to her ear and kissed it gently.

“Hmmmmm,” Pam sighed contentedly in her sleep and rolled over so she was facing him now. She now had one arm tucked against his chest while the other fell across his shoulders.

Jim wrapped his arms around her. Seemingly of its own accord, his left leg circled over her hips to help pull her closer to him. He brought his left hand up and starting running his fingers through her hair. Something he’d been dreaming of doing for as long as he could remember knowing her.

“Mmmmmm,” she purred again. “You have exactly 30 minutes to stop doing that,” Pam said with her eyes still closed.

“As you wish,” he said and kissed the top of her head.

Pam opened her eyes and looked up at him with her own smile on her face. “I love you too.”

Giving her his best cockeyed smirk, Jim kept combing her hair with his fingers. “Took you long enough to get that reference Beesly.”

She tilted her head back a touch and giggled at him. “I know. We both have things to work on, but I’m more than willing to spend as much time as we need to get things right.”

“Me too,” Jim lightly grabbed a handful of her hair and bent down to kiss her, morning breath be damned. Pam responded enthusiastically.

She surprised him by breaking off the kiss for a moment. “Jim, there’s something I need to tell you.

He resumed stroking her hair. “What’s that?”

“Just that well, for me at least, I mean you know I’ve had sex before, but last night was the first time I’ve ever made love.” She glanced up to see his reaction.

He found himself speechless again. He leaned over to again kiss her gently. She responded in kind. His hands left her hair and began traveling over the soft curves of her body. He felt her fingernails gently rake through his chest hair which caused him to let out an involuntary moan. Rolling on top of her he deepened the kiss as his hands started traveling south.

Without warning three loud knocks came from Jim’s front door.

“Ignore it. They’ll go away.” Pam told him while trying to pull him back to kissing her.

Jim was about to agree when whoever was at the door knocked louder. This time a woman’s voice was heard through the door. “I know you’re there Jim! Your car is in the driveway.”

“Shit! Is that Karen?” Jim snapped up straight.

“I thought you broke up with her,” Pam had a confused look to her face.

Looking back down at Pam he ran a gentle hand over her head. “I did, believe me I did. It’s you and me now, she has no chance of stealing me from you.”

Pam settled back into her pillow. “Good.” More knocks came from the door. She shrugged her head in the direction of the front entryway. “You better go see what she wants.”

Jim let out a huge sigh before ducking to give her a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll be right back.” He hopped out of bed and after only taking time to don a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt left the bedroom. Dreading each and every step he made his way to the door and opened it.

“Took you long enough,” Karen complained as she barged in and headed for the kitchen. “Now go get dressed we have things to do today.”

He followed her to the kitchen and crossed his arms. “What are you doing here?”

She was rooting around in his cupboards for a coffee mug. “Well since we’re not going to be exploring New York I figured we could do something here in town.”

“Are you being serious right now?” he exclaimed. “In case you didn’t notice I broke up with you yesterday!”

“That’s cute,” she said as she started fishing for coffee. “You only tried to but don’t worry, I decided I’ll let you take me back.”

“Since when do you get to decide anything for me? Especially who I choose to date or not.”

Karen gave him a sympathetic look. “Please Jim, if it weren't for me, you’d still be wearing second hand shirts that are far too large for you. That’s really no way for anyone to look. Now chop-chop. Back upstairs and...WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!”

Bending down Karen had picked up Pam’s bag from where it had fallen on the floor the previous night. She stood back up glaring at Jim. Before she could do anything, Jim rushed around the counter that had been separating them and snatched the bag from her hands. “That is none of your business,” he said coldly as he walked back to keep the counter between them.

“None of my business? How the hell is it none of my business that my boyfriend has another woman’s bag in his house? It is Pam’s? I’ll bet it is! Wait a minute is she still here! Were you fucking her behind my back?! That dumpy mouse-haired-”

“ENOUGH!” Jim loudly slapped the counter. “Shut the hell up right now!” The look of shock on Karen’s face gave Jim the courage to continue. “People I didn’t invite over don’t get to say anything about those I did. I don’t know what kind of mental gymnastics you had to go through to convince yourself that we’re still together and frankly I don’t care. Get this through your skull, we’re done! I’m not your boyfriend anymore. Who I choose to see and when I choose to see them are of zero concern to you!”

Karen had her arms crossed and was glaring right back at him. “Now see here...”

“No!” Jim cut her off. “For six months, day after day it was always the same with you. When are you going to live up to your potential? Don’t you think a nice suit would fit you better? How long till you get a real haircut? There’s so much more you can be. Just on and on and on with you wasn’t it? And even when I did make changes it still wasn’t enough. Not the right suit, not the right car, not the right shoes. And then if I wasn’t up to your personal standards it was as if you were ashamed to be seen with me.
“I’m more pissed at myself that it took me this long to realize you were trying to change me into something I’m not. Like if you could just change all the outwards stuff and keep it under control for the cameras, you’d have our perfect boyfriend. Well news flash for you Karen. You're not the catch you think you are.
“How many times did I have to sit and listen to you complain about just about everyone and everything in the office? How many times were the restaurants I chose not good enough? My clothes, my hair, my friends, never good enough. I couldn’t even convince you to help me figure out a way to say thank you to the guy who not only saved me from getting my face caved in, but probably yours as well. ‘Just go back to work so we can go on a trip,’ is what you said.”

“That’s not fair,” Karen’s voice had started to break. “I only ever wanted what was best for you. I moved away from my friends for you!”

“Bullshit!” Jim wasn’t having it. “You don’t get to stand there and tell me you moved her for me when for the past six months you’ve been putting on this act of the strong independent confident business woman. I’ll admit I may have encouraged you to think about the transfer, but as you so often told me, it was your choice to come here. As for wanting what was best for me? I call bullshit on that too. You’ve been trying to mold me into your version of what you want since I transferred to Stamford.
“For the record I don’t care what your cousin in Pawnee, Indiana, who everyone says looks just like you, says is the next health food craze,” he added very sarcastically. “Most days I just want a damn non-vegan, high fat, cheeseburger and fries. I don’t care if bottled water is better for my health, grape soda tastes better. I’m sick of trying to, evolve, as you put it, past Scranton. Scranton is my home and it fits me just fine.”

“But there’s nothing here for you!” She pleaded. “Just all those loonies back at the office and some short little bitch at the reception-”

WHAM!!

Jim had slapped the counter again. The sound startled Karen into silence. Jim’s eyes were blazing. When he spoke, his tone was slow but deep. “You will not say another damn word disparaging Pam Beesly again. Not here, not at the office, not anywhere. I told you last week that Pam has been my closest friend for years and that’s not anything you could ever fathom trying to understand.
“But while we’re on the subject, I’m sure Pam would love to know who it was that took her teapot last January. You remember, don’t you? The week we had all those talks after Oscar got back? You told me the only way to get over her was to smash her out of my life and brought out her teapot that you had taken from the kitchen. You told me to smash it, here on the floor of this kitchen. I’m sure Pam would also love to know how much time you spent away from the office cutting her down. She’d probably also love to know how you almost tore down the poster for her art show. Yeah, Oscar did see you and he told me about it after the day on the beach. I couldn’t understand why you were so insistent about getting me my coffee back then or why we just had to go out to dinner that night. Makes sense now, you didn’t want me to see her poster or go to her show. And you bitched about her attitude? Look in a damn mirror! Complaining about how everything she wore was to homely, if I recall. How she could have been so much more if she only wore more makeup, like you did.
“And that’s the real problem with you Karen. You’re so focused on how the outside is perceived you rarely spare time to look deeper. As long as the cover is good, who cares if the inside is rotten or gold? Pam has never once only looked at just the outside of a person. One of her many gifts is that quite often she can see past all the exterior BS to who a person is inside. More often than not, she’ll then bring out the best in that person. In that regard, Pam is by far more beautiful than you could ever hope to be.”

Jim finished his tirade and side-stepped to allow Karen to pass him easily. “For the last time, personally, we’re done. I don’t really want to see you anymore outside of work. Now get the hell out of my house before I call the cops.”

Karen seemed to have shrunk. She tried glaring at him, but all the fire had gone out of her eyes. Jim didn’t say anything more to her. He simply waited for her to leave. Wordlessly Karen walked out of the kitchen and back down the hall. She gave Jim one last glance over her shoulder as she left. Jim waited in the doorway long enough to watch her get into her car and drive off. Shutting the door, he leaned against his wall and slid to the floor. He was still flushed with adrenaline from the confrontation as his hands went into his hair.

“Hey,” Pam’s soft voice reached him. “I um, heard all that. Wow, Jim you surprised me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk like that before. Are you okay?” Looking up he saw she’d put on a pair of his basketball shorts and one of his t-shirts. She noticed his gaze. “I hope you don’t mind,” she asked while looking down at the clothes she had on. “My change of clothes is in my bag and I didn’t really feel comfortable coming down during all that.”

He surged up from his position and wrapped Pam in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he told her. “All these months. I could have said and did so many things. You were right there and it was my own stupid stubborn pride that kept us apart.”

Pam brought her own arms up and started rubbing his back. “Hey, shhhh. It’s okay. We said last night we were going to reset from all this. And we forgave each other last night too. What’s past is past.”

He let her go and took a step back. It was as if all his thoughts and feelings were starting to settle down. Without all the confusing thoughts rolling around, the surge of confidence he’d felt returned in full force. He reached up to wipe at his eyes as a wide smile appeared on his face. “Yeah, but you know. Not that I think about it, I’m not sure I want to just let it all go like that.” Pam looked at him quizzically, but he went on as his face continued to brighten. “Wow! I feel good right now. This must have been like what it was for you after the coal walk.”

“Jim? Are you feeling alright?” Pam asked with a raised eyebrow.

To answer her he reached forward and held her cheeks in his hands before leaning in to kiss her. “Never better actually. Telling off Karen like that, was just like, wow! Ya know?”

Seeing his enthusiasm proved infectious and Pam started smiling back. “I think so.”

“Yeah. You know maybe that’s what we need. Like you said last night. No more misinterpretations. So, let’s do it. All the questions you’ve been dying to ask or wanted to ask or whatever, let’s get them out and in the open.”

Pam’s cautious expression came back. “You sure? There could be some serious things there.”

Jim nodded decisively. “Yeah, I think this will be good. To the couch!”

He followed her as she turned to walk down his small hallway to the living room. A smirk came across his face when he recognized the t-shirt she had on. That’s the same one I gave her to wear when she crashed on my couch after the barbeque back at the old place. “Nice shirt by the way,” there was no way he wasn’t going to comment on it now. “My name on your back suits you.”

Maybe it was the morning light, but he was sure red flushed in Pam’s cheeks as she sat down on the couch. They took seats on either end but faced each other. “So, what’s your first question?” she asked when she was settled.

“Hold on,” he held up a hand. “First off there’s got to be some understandings if we’re going to do this right, okay?”

“Like what?”

Pausing a moment to gather his thoughts he continued. “Well remember this is about clearing the air, no miscommunications. I understand there could be some hard questions, but I think it’s best that we both understand we’re not asking any question to be vindictive, just to finally get an answer. Fair?”

Pam nodded. “I think that’s fair. My turn, if you’re like me you probably have a ton of questions and things you’ve wanted to bring up over the years. So, next understanding is that we only have these discussions when we’re both in good moods, and we limit them to two questions each.”

“I agree about being in a good mood, but why only two questions?”

She sighed slightly. “Because no matter how good our moods are, I can just tell that these kinds of questions are probably going to weigh heavy on us. So, we only get a maximum of two questions so we’re not over burdened with what could be bad feelings or memories.”

Jim considered for a moment before nodding. “Yeah I think I like that. Last one. After we’re done, we always go out and do something fun afterwards. And I’m talking something like go-carts, mini-golf, or something like that.”

“Would going out for ice cream count?” Pam asked somewhat shyly.

Jim grinned back at her and held out a hand. “You bet.”

“Deal!” Pam pumped his hand up and down once. She then took a deep breath to steady herself. “So, your idea, you start. What’s your first question for me?”

Taking his own deep breath, Jim rubbed his hands together for a moment. “Okay, so this is one that’s been bugging me for a while. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I get why you were with Roy for as long as you were. High school boyfriend, scared of thinking all that time was a waste, fears that there’s nowhere else to go, and so on.” Jim looked down at his lap before looking back up at her. “But after you realized you didn’t want to be in that relationship anymore, why did you go back to him?”

“Hoo boy,” Pam seemed a little startled. “Bringing out the big guns right at the start. Okay so there’s a few layers to that answer. First, after you left, it sucked for me for a while. Cancelling the wedding, getting my own place, living on my own for the first time in my life. It was hard. Roy wasn’t making things any easier since he was doing everything he could to get back together. I think the shock of me breaking things off shook him pretty deep. In the months before you came back and even for bit afterwards, he was doing better. Taking care of himself more, trying to actually pay attention, joking around and teasing me not to be mean, but you know like the way you tease me. To tell you the truth, Roy kinda started acting like you.
“Then Phyllis got married and basically stole everything I’d had planned for the wedding that never was. So, I’m by myself, surrounded by what everything that was supposed to be for my wedding, and the guy I really want to be with is dancing with his girlfriend. I was lonely and though I hate it say it kind of vulnerable. Then Roy shows up and he’s convinced Kevin to play the song that was playing during our first kiss back at our high school prom.
“Like I said I was frustrated, and angry, and lonely, and Roy had been acting better. It all combined into the perfect storm for him to walk me out of that reception. He started driving back to our old apartment, but when I told him I wasn’t going to spend the night, he quietly drove me back to my new apartment.”

Pam took another deep breath before continuing. “You were with Karen and I was still lonely and had no other real prospects so I thought that maybe Roy really had changed. Well, we all found out how that ended up. Does that answer your question?”

Jim swallowed a couple times, but nodded. “Yeah, it does.” He took another deep breath. “Okay your turn.”

Pam looked down at the couch for an instant before looking back up to him. “How come you never responded to the letter I sent you last summer?”

“Like you said, bringing out the big guns,” Jim remarked. “Like you I wasn’t in a good place when I got that letter. It showed up on my first day in Stamford and I thought you were married at the time. The postmark even said June 9th so I thought it would be yet another conformation that you’d chosen Roy, not me. I remember looking at that envelope and telling myself that you’d made your choice and I had to live with it and I had to move on. So, and you’re probably not going to like this, without even opening it, I shredded it.”

“Jim!” Pam was shocked. “You didn’t even read it?”

“No,” he hung his head. “I got back to my desk and opened my email and that’s when I discovered flood of messages from everyone here in Scranton saying the same thing. The wedding was off.” He looked back up at her and she could see the ghost of pain in his eyes. “I tried to get the letter back, but the garbage had already been collected. I guess after that I figured I’d eventually hear from you, but never did.”

Pam took a few calming breaths while she remembered the rules they’d put in place. Finally, she was able to speak again. “I didn’t email because I was waiting for you to reply to my letter. It was a letter telling you the wedding was off.”

Jim nodded. “Yeah, I figured. When I didn’t get an email or anything at the end of the day from you, but did get emails from everyone else, I got mad and upset again. That’s why I didn’t follow up or anything.”

They were both silent for a few long seconds. “Would you like to read it anyway?” Pam asked.

He knew she was trying to lighten the mood and he was grateful for it. “You have a spare copy?”

She nodded. “I kept the rough draft. It’s still in my purse, which is in my bag. Hold on.”

Walking back to the kitchen she retrieved the item and returned to the couch. This time instead of sitting at the opposite end, she curled up close to him. “Here,” she said and handed him the slip of paper.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jim took the letter and read it. His arm snaked around her shoulders and gripped her tighter as his eyes travelled down the paper. When he reached the end, he wrapped his other arm around her to hold her close. They stayed that way for several minutes, letting just the simple pleasure of being next to each other heal the old wounds.

“We really have been a couple of idiots haven’t we,” Jim finally said with a chuckle.

The joke diffused the tension and Pam let out her own giggle. “Yeah, we have. I know we said two questions per session, but I don’t think I’m up to another one right now.”

“Yeah, same here.” Jim agreed. He glanced at the clock on his microwave and saw it was approaching 11:00. He gently nudged her side. “So, now comes the fun part of all this. What do you say we find a place that has go-carts and go get ice cream afterwards?”

Pam looked up at him with shining eyes. “That sounds wonderful.”

Several hours later they were enjoying their frozen treat. The place they’d found to go-cart also had a small ice cream shop next to it, so they could watch other races while they ate. The sun was warm and the sky cloudless. The perfect recipe to burn off any lingering sadness from their earlier time on the couch.

“Good date?” he asked.

“Mmmhmm,” Pam said around a spoonful of ice cream. “The best,” she added after her mouth was clear.

Jim had finished his ice cream and had his arm over her shoulder as she ate the rest of her sundae. “Hey I’ve got a quick question for you.” and he turned his face to her.

She looked up at him. “What’s that?”

“My parents are having a Memorial Day cook-out in a couple weeks. They’ve been after me to stop by and pick up some of my old stuff anyway, so this is a good way to get over there. Care to join me?”

Pam remembered the feeling of warmth she’d always felt being around other members of his family. There was no question as to her answer. She smiled at him. “Sounds great.”

He smiled back. “I’ll let them know to expect you.” Suddenly his face got very concerned. “Beesly hand on a sec, you’ve got something on your face.”

She started dabbing at her cheek with a napkin. “Where?”

“Hold on, I’ll get it,” Jim told her as he leaned down to get a better look. He kept leaning in and was very pleased to hear Pam’s slight squawk of surprise as instead of wiping her cheek, his lips met hers. She’d fallen right into his trap and he silently vowed to himself to keep her there for the rest of his life.

“I still can’t believe we had to drive all the way to Binghamton to get that,” Jim cast another glance at the bottle Pam held in her hands.

For her part Pam had a wide toothy grin on her face as they made their way up the driveway to Jim’s parent’s house. “It’s a cool bottle! It’s not my fault they don’t sell it in this state.”

“You really didn’t have to get them anything you know,” he said as they approached the front door.

Pam shrugged the comment away. “I know, but I wanted to. Now come here and give me a proper kiss before we have to behave in front of your family for the rest of the day.”

Jim happily complied. The late May sunshine on her back was nothing compared to the glow she felt as his arms wrapped around her. She smiled back up at him when he broke the kiss and walked the last few steps to the front door and walked in. The sounds of a loud boisterous family gathering immediately reached her ears. She looked down at the capri pants and V-neck t-shirt she had on. Jim had told her there would be a variety of yard games so she was glad she’d chosen something that allowed for easy movement.

“Anybody home?” Jim called out as they entered the front hallway.

Betsy Halpert appeared from the kitchen at his voice. “Jim! Pam!” Grinning from ear to ear she rushed up to hug them both in turn. “Come on in. Don’t worry about your shoes or anything. Pam! It’s so good to see you again. It’s been far too long.”

For Pam, the old feeling of being curled up under an old warm blanket returned in full force as Betsy hugged her. “It has. Thank you so much for having us.”

“Oh please,” Betsy told her as she stepped back. “It’s just a family cook-out. But come on in, make yourself at home.”

“Um, hold on a sec,” Pam called out just as Betsy was turning around. “I have something for you.”

“Oh?” Besty said with a curious look to her face.

“Yeah, here.” Pam was grinning as she dug her gift out of her purse. She pulled out case and unzipped it. Inside were 24 metal crochet hooks. Each one was a different size with the largest eight being different colors. “Jim mentioned once a long time ago that you’re big into crochet. Well the lady at Hobby Lobby said these are some the best hooks they carry.”

It was Betsy’s turn to grin now. “Oh Pam, honey. Thank you. ” She looked down to inspect the item. “This will come in very handy on long car trips. Gerald is always complaining my hooks get everywhere. You didn’t have to do this you know, we’re just happy you’re here.”

“I know, but I wanted to.” Pam momentarily glanced down at the slip-on shoes she was wearing. “It’s also, um, kind of a peace offering. For me making Jim go through everything he did all these years.”

Betsy clutched her new crochet hooks to her chest while putting a hand on Pam’s shoulder. She gave the younger woman a wide motherly smile. “Pam, don’t worry about any of that. I’ve never seen Jim so happy in his life. If you two are happy together, that’s all that matters.”

Any lingering traces of fear in Pam’s heart melted away as she smiled back at Betsy. “We are.”

Jim beamed down at her and took her hand. “Everyone else out back?”

“Yup. Head on back. I’m chopping up some fruit then I’ll be out there,” Betsy said as she turned back towards the kitchen.

Pam followed Jim as he led her through the house to the backyard. She held her present for Gerald behind her back as they made their way out into the sunlight. Several adults were lounging in chairs on the patio while they watched a gaggle of kids run around the yard. Gerald was busy starting to clean off the grill. He spotted them immediately as they came outside.

“Jim! Pam! Glad you’re here!”

“Us too,” said Jim. “Pam here has something for you.”

Gerald started grinning. “Yeah? What’s that?”

Pam brought her hands around from behind her back to present the bottle of whiskey to Gerald. “Here. Jim said a long time ago you liked whiskey. I hope this is a good one.”

“Willett Pot Still Reserve,” Gerald said appreciatively as he took the bottle from her and started inspecting it. “A nice mid-range bourbon. Hard to find here in Pennsylvania though. Where’d you get it?”

“A store in Binghamton,” Pam answered. “I was looking up what’s a good whiskey to give as a gift and thought the bottle shape was really unique.”

“It is that,” Gerald confirmed. “They modeled the bottle after their pot stills.” Seeing Pam’s confused look, he went on. “That’s what they use to make the whiskey.”

“Oh,” Pam nodded. “I hope it’s okay.”

“Very okay. Want a taste?” Gerald cocked his eyebrow at Pam in a very familiar way.

“I, um, don’t really drink that much whiskey to be honest. I’m more of a mixed drinks kind of girl. But sure, why not,” she said cheerfully.

“Come on then. I don’t have any proper glasses down here, but I do upstairs.” He turned to Jim. “Coming?”

“Sounds good to me,” Jim told his father.

“There are proper whiskey glasses?” Pam whispered to Jim as they followed Gerald back inside.

Jim smirked at her. “There are. Prepare yourself, given half a chance, Dad will go on for hours about whiskey.”

Reaching the second floor of the house Gerald led them into what had been a bedroom, but now was the whiskey den. Pam looked around in amazement. There were dozens of bottles resting on shelves set on three of the walls. The longest wall had a small bar with two bar stools. Two big leather chairs were set side by side with a small table between them in the middle of the room. There was a clear layout to the way the bottles were placed in the room. Several distinct groups of bottles were laid out on the shelves.

Gerald stepped behind the bar with his new bottle and set it down. Turning around he grabbed three small tulip shaped glasses from the shelf behind him and set them down on the bar in front of him.

“That’s a cool glass,” Pam said as she picked one up to inspect it.

“It’s called a Glencairn glass,” Gerald told her. “They only came out a few years ago. A guy over in Scotland developed them especially for drinking whiskey.”

“Why are they so small?” Pam asked as she set it down with the other ones. “Most drinks glasses, I’ve seen are, you know, normal sized glasses.”

“If you drink whiskey neat, that means without ice or anything, you’re drinking something that’s 40% alcohol minimum,” Gerald explained as he broke the seal of the bottle and pulled out the cork. “At least in America. That’s why with hard spirits like whiskey you only get a couple ounces rather than pints like beer.”

“Going to give Pam the whole history of whiskey or are you going to pour?” Jim teased his father.

“Jim you should know by now, that to truly enjoy a whiskey, one need not rush.” He turned back to Pam with smile. “Don’t mind him. It took me forever to get him to expand his palate past Fireball. Now since you’re admittedly not a big whiskey drinker, may I make a suggestion?”

Ignoring Jim’s look of mock-hurt, Pam gestured to the older Halpert. “Please.”

“I would suggest for you that instead of drinking yours neat, I’ll add one rock of ice. It’ll take away a lot of the alcohol burn. However, before you drink it, I’d like you to smell mine first because the ice will mute a lot of the flavors.”

“Sure,” Pam agreed.

After putting a small cube of ice in Pam’s glass, Gerald poured for the three of them. He handed her one of the two glasses without ice. “Take small sniffs. Start a couple inches from your nose and bring it towards your face. If the scent turns sharp or has that alcohol burn back off a little. Also keep your mouth open while you smell.” Even though she felt a little foolish, Pam brought the glass up to her nose like she’d been told. “What do you smell?” Gerald asked.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “It just smells like alcohol.”

“Fair enough,” Gerald said, then turned to Jim who was holding his own glass to his nose. “Jim what about you?”

“It reminds me of that time we were at Grandma’s house and she was making homemade candy.”

“That’s good!” Gerald exclaimed. “Unlike other senses, smell is tied to where long term memories like that are stored. Try again Pam. Take another smell. This time don’t try to pick out a certain thing like caramel. Instead relax and see if the smell brings up any thoughts or feelings.”

Pam did as she was instructed. This time she closed her eyes. A feeling did come over her and it made her smile.

“Well?” Gerald asked.

Opening her eyes, she handed the glass back to him before picking up her own. “I got this warm feeling. Like when you sit in front of a gas fireplace after coming in from the cold. Is that wrong?”

Gerald was beaming. “Not at all, there is no right or wrong answer. Smell and taste are hugely subjective. So, anything goes. It’s part of what makes this fun!” He raised his glass and the other two followed suit. “To friends and family. Good health and long life.”

“Cheers,” Jim and Pam said and clinked their glasses together. After they had their drink, Gerald put the bottle with his other bourbons and the three of then headed downstairs and outside to the backyard.

Gerald resumed his cleaning of the grill while Jim and Pam received hello’s and hugs from rest of the Halpert clan. Betsy arrived outside with the fruit tray she’d been working on. She explained they usually waited till mid-afternoon to eat since it gave the kids running around more time to burn off their energy. Larissa arrived and after being greeted warmly by all, settled into a lawn chair next to Pam. It was if the intervening years since they’d seen each other last had never happened. Pam and Larissa were quickly talking like old friends. Pam laughed as Larissa started in on stories of her brothers while they were growing up. Tom and Pete’s wives joined in their fun as the four of them watched as the three Halpert brothers, “lost” a nerf gun fight to the kids running around the yard.

Excusing herself Pam headed inside to use the restroom. After finishing she started making her way back outside. She was just passing the family room when a hand shot out and all but dragged her into the faux-wood paneled room.

“Hey!” she yelped.

“Shhhhh, quiet!” Tom and Pete were standing in front of her with a glint she’d seen many time in Jim’s eye just before a prank. “We don’t want Jim to hear you,” Pete told her.

“What’s going on?” she asked cautiously.

Tom grinned evilly back at his brother before looking to Pam. “I don’t know if Jim has ever told you, but we’re the kings of practical jokes,” he said with a snicker while pointing a thumb between himself and Pete.

The words seemed to spark something in Pam’s mind. Kings of practical jokes? Why does that sound familiar? She almost didn’t catch was Pete was saying to her.

“This is going to be great! We haven’t done this one in years!”

“What’s great?” Pam was still a bit hesitant.

“I know,” Tom told his brother. “And think how awesome it will be to have Pam do it instead of us.”

“What guys?!” Pam raised her voice a little.

Pete looked back at her. “All you gotta do, is put one of these in your hand, come up behind Jim and slap him on the back of the neck.” He held out what looked like a cold pill but bigger. Green powder was inside.

“What is it?” Pam looked at the capsule in Pete’s hand.

“Our own homemade stink bombs,” Tom told her. “Pete and I used to make them all the time. They’re really bad. Try a quick smell.”

Raising a skeptical eye, Pam took the small capsule from Pete. Years as Jim’s partner-in-crime told her she didn’t want to have her face near Pete’s hand where he could smash the pill in her face rather than their stated target. She brought the pill up to her face and like she had with the whiskey earlier took a small sniff. The smell, even though the plastic was strong. However, that’s not what really surprised her.

Mentally she was back in high school. It was almost as if she could hear her glasses crunch again. Along with the stink bomb, the faint hint of popcorn came to her mind. The memory of a kind voice handing her back the pieces of her glasses was soon to follow. Pam’s thoughts started racing. Whoa! Wait a minute! What the hell? Why did I suddenly remember all that stuff about Jamie? That was years ago. When Jamie’s two older brothers hit him with a stink... no, it can’t be. There’s no way Jim is Jamie. I mean, it just can’t! It was just the stink bomb. What did Jamie say about all that? Crap! Why can’t I remember?

Shaking her head, she accepted the stink bomb from Pete and told him she’d be sure to use it at the most opportune time. Tom and Pete left her to return to the festivities in the backyard. Pam took a seat in a chair to compose herself. She didn’t quite feel ready to join everybody. She was still lost in her thoughts when one of Jim’s nephews barreled into the house. He ran past the family room and Pam heard his footsteps race upstairs. His mother’s voice quickly shouted after him to tell him to get back as they’d be eating soon.

“I’ll get him,” Pam called back. She walked upstairs and faced the long hallway. The doors to the master bedroom and whiskey den were both locked so Pam didn’t bother trying either one. Coming to the first unlocked door she opened it. She heard a giggle come from under the bed. Grinning to herself she sneaked around to the other side. A few glances at the decorations on the walls told her she was in Jim’s old room. She grinned as she took in some of the faded posters that teenage Jim had hung up.

As quietly as she could, Pam knelt down. “Gotcha!” she shouted while thrusting a hand under the bed, trying to grab and arm or a leg. The little boy wriggled his way free in an instant and shot out from under the bed and raced back down the stairs. Grinning Pam stood up and walked around the bed. She was almost to the door when she felt her foot bump into something.

Looking down she saw Jim’s nephew had dislodged a grey shoebox that had been stored under the bed in his bid for freedom. The box had tipped over and scattered some papers on the floor. Pam knelt down again and reached for the box lid.

“Maf twelve?” Pam whispered to herself. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Setting the box lid aside she looked at the other papers on the floor. Most of them looked to be very rough drawings of a girl in glasses. As she started looking through them, Pam felt a smile grow on her face. Awww, Jim. You drew pictures of your high school girlfriend. That’s sweet. You’re no artist, but this is fun. Huh! This one looks familiar.

She was holding a picture that resembled a decent cartoon version of the girl in question. Pam’s eyes knitted together and she lost her smile as she studied the picture more carefully. Actually, this looks just like that picture Jim drew of me that I keep at my desk. Minus the glasses of cour....wait a minute! No! This is almost EXACTLY like the picture Jim drew of me. But these have to have been from when Jim was in high school. Why would Jim draw a picture of me that looks almost identical to this girl he knew from back then? Unless...

Pam’s hands were starting to tremble. The only other things in the box were some sheets of paper that felt brittle with age. As gently as she could Pam picked them up and turned them over. It was a printout of a conversation two people had been having on an old 90’s chatroom. Clearly Jim’s user name was, “Bballer04.” It was the other user name that caused Pam to bring her other hand up to her mouth. “Artfan12.”

It was as if she was back in her parents living room sitting at the computer again. Her eyes started tearing up as she re-read their conversation from so long ago. A laughing sob escaped her mouth as she came to the end of the log. Oh my god! Jim is Jamie! How did I not see that all this time? But I told Jim about Jamie just the other week on our date after he came back from New York and he didn’t say anything then. He even told me he never mentioned a rain check to a girl when he was in high school. How did he not know it was me? Well I was still going as Morgan back when I met Jamie, I mean Jim, I mean, whatever. But he knows my middle name is Morgan, right? I think so.

Pam’s thoughts then turned to the sketch she’d kept safe since that night. A flood of other memories returned as well. Time after time that her sketch or the thought of him had calmed her nerves or made a bad day better. All this time, he’s been there and I didn’t even know it. Jim if only you could have known how much you’ve meant to me all these years. Through, just, everything. How am I ever going to make this up to you?

A female voice cut through her thoughts. “Pam?”

“In here!” Pam answered Larissa’s shout.

“There you are,” Larissa said as she turned into Jim room. “We’re just about ready to eat.” A grin bloomed on Larissa’s face as she saw was Pam was looking through. “I see you discovered all Jim has left of his long-lost love from high school.” It was then that Larissa noticed the glimmer of tears in Pam’s eyes. “Hey, you okay?”

Pam nodded and looked back up at the other woman. “Yeah. Can you tell me something Larissa? Back when Jim was in high school, he went by Jamie, right?”

Larissa knelt down next to Pam with a confused expression on her face. “Yeah, why?”

That final confirmation returned Pam’s smile to her face. “Did I ever tell you my middle name? The name I went by during most of high school?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Larissa still looked confused.

“Morgan.”

It looked like Larissa’s face was in slow motion. She glanced several times between the drawings and Pam as shock filled her face. “But wait, that means...holy shit! Are you for real? Please tell me you’re joking?”

Pam’s grin if anything grew wider. “No. I met Jim, well Jamie at the time, back in high school after a basketball game. Then we had this online chat conversation when we both got home.”

“Pam, do you have any idea what this means?” Larissa reached over to grab one of Pam’s hands. “Jim really tried hard to find you, but he was never able to. He always said that Morgan was the only girl that made him feel anything close to the way he feels about you. He’s been saying that since he started working at Dunder-Mifflin. Back when you were engaged to that other guy. Whenever he got really down about things I’d remind him about how he felt with, well you. It usually cheered him up.”

“I think I do know,” Pam couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “After we got done talking online that night, I drew a picture of Jim, I mean, Jamie. That picture has always been a source of comfort to me.”

Larissa had her own shocked smile on her face now too. “Did you know Jim has a picture of you from high school?”

“What!” Pam wasn’t sure she could handle any more surprises like this.

“Yeah, hold on. I think I still have my old high school yearbook.” Larissa stood and ducked out of the room. She returned shortly with the yearbook in question. Pam recognized it instantly. It was from the same year as the yearbook she’d once paged though while laying on Jim’s old bed. “Here it is,” Larissa said and turned the book so Pam could see the picture in question.

It was another picture she remembered. There was high school Jim in his away uniform going up for a jump shot. Pam leaned in close to the figure Larissa was pointing out. Pam’s hands came up to her mouth as she saw her teenage self in the background. Her old sketchbook was in her lap as she watched the action on the court. Looking up at Larissa, Pam told her the story of when she’d seen Jim’s copy of the yearbook.

Larissa was now grinning at Pam as she closed the book. “Well now you know why he circled you in that picture. Come on! Let’s go tell him! I can’t wait to see his reaction.”

Pam watched as Larissa made to stand up. Another memory of Jim’s yearbook suddenly sprang to her mind. With it came an idea. An idea that had the potential to answer the question she’d asked herself earlier.

“Wait a sec!” she called out. She waited till Larissa turned back to her. “Let’s not tell him just yet. I think I may have an idea that would be more fun than here in your parents' house, but I might need your help with it.”

After replacing the drawings and chat log back in the box, Pam stood up and told Larissa her idea. The youngest Halpert was instantly onboard. Larissa offered to hold onto the grey shoebox for safekeeping. Together they returned to the backyard. Larissa told everyone she’d found Pam and quite honestly had mentioned paging through the yearbook as for the reason it took so long for the two of them to come back outside for grilled hot dogs and burgers.

The rest of the afternoon and evening were filled with more fun and games. Rather than using the stink bomb on Jim, Pam had snuck up on Pete and planted on him. It exploded inside his shirt when he sat down on a chair much to the amusement of all. Pam helped Jim load his car up with some household items he’d stored at the house. Eventually they said their goodbyes and drove back to Jim’s townhouse.

Later than night, after other exuberant activities, Jim held Pam close to him under the covers of the bed. “Wow! Beesly!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know what got into you, but that was amazing.”

Pam smiled into his eyes and wiped a hand through his hair that was slightly damp with sweat from their exertions. “Just my way of saying thank you for always being there for me.”

Jim smiled back at her and leaned in for a kiss. “You’re welcome. I always will be too.”

She hummed to herself as she snuggled her face into his chest. Wrapped up in each other they drifted off to sleep.

_____________________________________________________________________________

A week later Pam was back at her apartment. Jim was playing basketball at the Y so she had some time to herself. A knock on her door had her walking quickly to the entryway.

“Hey! Come on in!” Pam pulled her apartment door open wide to admit her sister. “Rachel and Isabel are already here. Want something to drink?”

“No, I’m good,” Penny said as she put her purse on Pam’s small table. “I’m more interested to know what’s going on. You sounded kind of vague on the phone.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Pam told her sister. “I’ll tell you why in a sec.” She turned to the others who were chatting on her couch. “Hey guys, thanks for coming today. I just need to grab something. I’ll be right back.”

Pam disappeared into her bedroom. When she returned she was holding a picture frame. She held it out to her assembled friends “Anyone remember this?”

“Isn’t that the drawing of that guy you almost went out with in high school?” Rachel asked. “Jamie wasn’t it?”

“Oh, I remember him!” Isabel perked up. “You had a serious crush on him.”

Penny nodded in agreement. “Yeah, too bad you never found him again.”

“Actually,” Pam started while her face lit up. “I recently did find out who he was.”

“Get out!” Isabel slapped Pam’s thigh. “It’s been how many years now? Well who is he? Is he still cute?”

Rachel leaned forward expectantly too. “C’mon girl dish! I mean what’s Jim going to think? From everything you’ve always told us Jim seems like a great guy, but to have to compete with another old flame? How much grief are you going to put him through?”

Here comes the fun part, she thought to herself. “Only what he truly deserves,” she replied confidently. “Now before you ask, he’s not here right now, but I also met his sister and we got to be good friends.” She turned back to her bedroom. “Come on out!” With a very self-satisfied smirk to her face she addressed her friends again. “Ladies, please meet Jamie’s younger sister, Larissa Halpert.”

Years later, Pam would still wish she’d had video of that moment. The looks of expectation on her friends faces turned into sudden and almost paralyzing shock as the three of them recognized the last name. Larissa bounded into the living room with a huge shit-eating grin on her face.

“Great to meet you all at last!” She stopped next to Pam’s side and took in the scene of the other three women. They still seemed frozen in their seats.

It was Penny who found her voice first. “You’re kidding right? This is a joke. You’re pranking us like all the stories from work.”

Larissa turned to Pam. “Do you want to tell them or should I?”

Pam gave Larissa playful shove. “Oh, go ahead, he’s been your brother longer than I’ve known him.”

With her grin still fully intact, Larissa took a seat and regaled her rapt audience with the story of how Pam had come to find out the truth. She had brought her yearbook and the shoebox to ensure there was proof of the claim. Her smug face was still on display as she wrapped up speaking. Pam added a few details of her own when Larissa needed some help about her point of view of the tale.

Rachel looked up at Pam. “So, he still has no idea that the Pam he knows now is the Morgan he knew then?”

“As far as we know,” Pam answered. She gestured to the shoebox. “Jim still thinks he threw that box out in Stamford. Probably why he doesn’t remember asking for the rain check. It’s also why I didn’t tell you what this was all about on the phone. Jim was sitting next to me and I didn’t want him to get suspicious.”

“But why didn’t you recognize him years ago?” Isabel asked.

Pam shrugged. “If you remember that night, when I talked to Jim face to face my glasses were broken. You know how bad my eyesight is without my glasses.”

“So, when are you going to tell him?” Penny put in. “I mean you are going to tell him right? I wish I could be there to see his face when you do. It’ll be be priceless.”

Larissa and Pam shared a conspiratorial glance. “That’s the real reason I asked you guys here today.” Pam started.

“We’ve got what we think is the best way to tell Jim, but we’re going to need some help.” Larissa went on. “So, you guys help us get everything set up and in return, you get front row seats when my dork of a brother gets the big reveal.”

Pam had retrieved a folder from one of her kitchen drawers while Larissa had been talking. She set it down on her coffee table and opened it up. She set out the papers and items within. “We’ve already done some planning as you can see. Now’s here’s what I’ll want the rest of you to do...”

Jim woke up to what had become his favorite Saturday morning sight. Pam was spooned up next to him in his bed. Memories of the previous night's activities had him grinning and he pulled her closer to him. One of his arms was currently serving as Pam’s pillow, not that he minded in the slightest. With his free hand, he started running his fingertips across her bare shoulder and down her arm before traveling back up and across her neck. As his fingers traced over her curves, he felt her shift to snuggle against him.

“Good morning,” he whispered into her ear as his hand traversed over her breasts and stomach to rest on her hip.

“That feels really nice,” she murmured. “What time is it”

Jim glanced at the clock on his bedside table. “Almost nine.”

Pam rolled over to face him. She kissed him before leaning back. “As much as I would love to stay in bed with you for a while longer, I need to get going. Penny’s expecting me around ten. I should get up and shower before heading over to her place.”

“Care for a shower partner?” Jim asked as Pam grabbed her glasses off the side table and got out of bed.

“Not this time, sorry.” She smiled back at him to take away some of the sting of saying no. “I’ll take a rain check though.”

“Anytime,” he grinned back before flopping back down on the bed and closed his eyes.

“Go ahead and snooze longer if you need to,” Pam told him as she opened one of the drawers of Jim’s dresser. “Have you seen my Marywood t-shirt?”

Jim opened one eye and looked up at her. “It’s only been two months since you started sleeping here and you’re already losing stuff? Should I feel encouraged or embarrassed?”

“Oh! Here it is!” Triumphantly pulling the garment out of the drawer she slid it on before padding back to the side of the bed to lean over Jim and kiss him. “And a great two months they’ve been. I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight,” he agreed. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she told him before heading to the bathroom for her shower.

When he woke up again Jim noticed about an hour had passed. A quick glance out the window showed it to look like a beautiful summer day. After taking his own shower he changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and a t-shirt. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw something that caused him to stop just before he reached the bottom step.

What’s that?

Crossing over to the small table his saw a brand-new messenger bag hanging off the back of his normal chair. There was also a folded note on heavy cardstock resting on the table. It was addressed to him. Small images done in colored pencil of her teapot and the bonus gifts were also drawn on the card.  Reaching out he opened the note and read what was inside. He recognized Pam’s handwriting instantly.

A teapot full of little things most would see as plain,
But sitting at my desk that day was the best trip down memory lane.
So I wondered what I could do for a man who’s been so kind,
So here it is, your turn now, time to hit rewind.

Pam, what are you up to? Jim thought to himself as he set the note down. He picked up the messenger bag to inspect it closer. It was made of a canvas type material colored a nice brown. Heavy duty double stitching wound its way over the seams. Lifting the flap Jim saw a sturdy zipper to secure the main pouch. Under the cover flap were several smaller pockets with strong riveted snaps. Unlike his old messenger bag, that had several holes patched with duct tape by now, Jim felt like this new bag would easily survive years of use. He was grinning when he noticed there seemed to be something in one of the small pockets. Undoing the snaps, he pulled out his iPod. Two more notes were resting behind the iPod. Unfolding the outermost note, he saw more of Pam’s writing.

I hope you weren’t expecting more poetry. The fun thing about this
gift is it has its own bonus gifts and soundtrack.
But you’re going to have to hunt for them.
You’re going to get a series of clues to lead you to the destination of your next gift.
There’s also a new playlist on your iPod. Please don’t listen to them all at once.
The notes you get will tell you when to listen to each song.

Thank you for always being there for me, right from the very start.
I love you,
Pam

So that’s what you’ve been up to, Jim was grinning as he unfolded the second note. Setting up a scavenger hunt for me. This should be fun. He slipped his new messenger bag over his shoulder as he read his first clue. It was another folded piece of cardstock. On the outside were more of Pam’s little drawings. In this case a karaoke machine, a small barbeque grill, a few brown bottles, and a small yearbook. In the corner of the note was an identical copy of the yearbook photo drawing that had been on the first card. He caught the significance right away. His first gift would be one to compliment the picture he’d placed in her teapot.

Karaoke, a dorky yearbook picture, and the most handsome tour guide ever.
Not to mention a nice smelling pillow and a comfy couch.
We’ll start you out easy for this first one.
Play Track 1 for one of my other favorite songs from my high school days.

Jim knew instantly what his first destination would be. Looking back down into the pocket he found his earbuds. It was the work of a moment to plug them into the machine and put them in his ears. Turning on the iPod he scrolled to his playlists. Sure enough “Jim’s Playlist” had been added. Each song was only identified by its track number. Hitting play for the first track, ‘80’s pop music started up.

“May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam.
And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home.
And my you grow to be proud, dignified and true.
And do unto others as you'd have done to you.
Be courageous and be brave.
And in my heart, you'll always stay

Forever young.
Forever young.”

He grinned to himself while the song played and he made his way out to his car. It was going to be a fun day. Once in his car he plugged the iPod into his stereo and set it so it would repeat the current track. It didn’t take him long to drive to the old house he’d shared with Mark. Pulling into the driveway he saw Mark and his new fiancé Emily sitting on the porch. They both stood up as Jim got out of his car.

“Took you long enough to get here,” Mark said as he enfolded Jim in a backslapping hug.

Emily was beaming as she also hugged Jim. “Don’t mind him. He's as excited for all of this as we are.”

“You’re in on this too?” Jim stepped back in surprise.

“We couldn’t resist once Pam called us,” Emily told him.

“No kidding man,” Mark put in. “We’ve always been rooting for you two.”

“So, what does Pam have planned then?” Jim asked.

“Oh,” tsk tsk tsk, Emily waggled her finger. “No hints other than what we’ve been told to give you.” Her expression softened, but still had a sly glint to it. “Trust me though, you’ll be telling this story years from now.”

Jim gave her a curious look for a moment, but knew he wouldn’t get anything more from them. “So, I take it Pam left something here for me then?”

“She did,” Mark told him. He turned around and picked up a manila envelope that looked to be bulging in the middle. With his own grin firmly in place Mark handed it to Jim.

Opening the envelope Jim tipped it upside down. A small disco ball keychain slid out. The three of them started laughing at the trinket. Jim could only grin and shake his head as he held his first bonus gift. Looking back into the envelope he pulled out the next cardstock note. This one had a pair of lawn chairs, a candle, a plate of sandwiches, and a screenplay cover drawn on it. Fireworks surrounded the drawings. For a moment he was confused. I didn’t put anything from our date on the roof in the teapot. Slowly he opened the card to read his next clue.

I’ve got to keep you on your toes somehow.
Not everything you get today will match up with the teapot gifts.
Most will, but not all.
Your next gift is one like that.
For years you sat just feet away from me.
Then one night you changed everything,
even if I didn’t want to admit it at the time.
You brought the food and I kept the bugs away.
Afterwards we swayed to so many great songs.
Still, I wished we had danced.
Play Track 2

Jim found his throat was a little tight as he remembered the evening, they’d retroactively called the night of their first date. After showing them the gift and the note, he said good-bye to Mark and Emily, Jim made his way back to his car. Before he left the driveway and hit play for his next song. He was puzzled when country music filled his speakers. That was until the lyrics kicked and the lump in his throat returned.

“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger.
May you never take one single breath for granted.
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens.
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance.
I hope you dance.”

Like before, he kept the track on repeat as he made his way to Dunder-Mifflin. At first, he was concerned the lot would still be closed. When he arrived, the gate was open though. Chalking it up to Pam’s pre-planning abilities he pulled in and parked. Making sure to take his iPod and messenger bag with him, he started scouring the area around the door where he vividly remembered swaying to music with Pam. Coming up with nothing, he paused to reconsider. Nothing here in the parking lot. Hmmm, maybe up on the roof?

He let himself into the building and made his way to the ladder leading to the roof. Emerging from the darkened hallway to bright sunlight, Jim had to squint as he stepped off the ladder. It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for. Their lawn chairs were set up and waiting for him. Walking over swiftly he saw another manila envelope.

He dumped it out like last time and grinned as red, while, and blue party poppers slid out into his palm. He tucked them into his bag before taking the next note out. The Olympic Rings were prominently on display in the center of the card. Around them were drawn M&M’s, a stopwatch, a balled-up piece of paper flying towards a Sherriff Dept coffee mug, and a set of Flonkerton boots. Above the Olympic Rings was a set of Gold, Silver, and Blue yogurt lid medals complete with paperclip necklaces.

What started out as another Death by Boredom day became so much more.
Up until then I have a hard time remembering when
you were so excited about something here at work.
You had the biggest smile on your face that day.
Soon I did too when you included me as your co-chair.
It wasn’t our first time as partners-in-crime,
But it was one of the most fun.
Play Track 3

As soon as Jim hit play, the drums and trumpets of “Olympic Fanfare and Theme,” blasted in his earbuds. Glad he had the volume set at a reasonable level, Jim made his way down the ladder. By the time the music was over he’d arrived at the door to Dunder-Mifflin. He smiled at the note taped to the door.

Jim,

If you’re still listening to Track 2 don’t come in.
If you’re listening to Track 3 you may enter.

Always planning ahead Beesly, he thought as he took the note down and put it in his bag as he pushed through the door. He turned the lights on as he came up to Pam’s desk. A quick glance there showed nothing amiss. Turning he saw the now expected envelope waiting for him on his keyboard. Unlike the other envelopes this one was flat. Once he opened it, he knew why right away. An origami dove had slid out into his hand. The grin he had on his face faded a touch as he looked at his next card. Like the other ones it had several small drawings on it. A firetruck, a baseball field, an ambulance, and a heart with a lightning bolt going through it. A small Boggle timer was drawn in the corner as well. The lump in his throat returned as he opened it.

There has only been one time in my life I’ve felt terrified.
I’ve been scared before, but I’ve only been truly terrified
when I thought I might truly lose you forever.
But thanks to a team of guardian angels,
they revived you in a way I never could.
We’ll both be forever indebted to them.
The next song sums up how I feel about that.
Play Track 4

Jim found himself misty-eyed. He didn’t like to think about the brush with death he’d had. Especially after the heart cell toy Pam had given him had broken. He steeled himself as he tucked the dove into his bag. After locking up the office he returned to his car and plugged his iPod back into his stereo. A slightly somber guitar and piano melody started, but swelled to a more hopeful tone as the lyrics kicked in.

“Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need, but take less than you give?
Could you close every day, without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high, when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, 'cuz you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who
Will never look back, never look down
and never let go.”

It took about twenty minutes, but eventually Jim parked his car in the little league parking lot. It was mostly full since two teams were out on the field when he arrived. Parents were cheering their kids from the bleachers. Taking a deep breath, Jim got out of his car and strolled near the fence looking around for his next envelope.

Without warning sirens split the air along with the blast of airhorns. The seemed to be coming from both directions and were only getting closer. Jim wasn’t the only one who turned at the sound. In seemingly no time at all a red fire engine and a white and blue ambulance pulled into either ends of the parking lot. The two trucks cut their sirens as they pulled in, but kept their flashing overhead lights on as they parked nose to nose. The rumble of diesel engines died away as the drivers turned off the trucks. The baseball game behind him stopped as Jim watched. A crew of three paramedics emerged from the ambulance while four firefighters stepped off their truck and started walked around to stand in front of their apparatus.

“Jim Halpert?” one of the medics called out.

A grin of shock came over Jim’s face as he started walking towards the assembled emergency crews. He was speechless as he came up to them. Fortunately for Jim, the medic wasn’t. He was smiling as he addressed Jim. The crowd who had been watching the baseball game was also starting to migrate towards the parking lot as well.

“Jim, my name is Ethan Wilcox. I was the lead paramedic the night your heart stopped.” He gestured to the medics standing next to him. “This is Steve Colfax and Dan Briggs. Steve was my partner that night and Dan there was still a student. In fact, you were his first ever patient.” Ethan went on to also introduce the crew of Scranton Fire Engine 9 who had also responded to the call. Turning Jim around, Ethan also brought in two of the baseball coaches who had until a few minutes ago had been in one of the dugouts. “Kyle and Bob here were the first to start CPR and use the AED that night,” Ethan went on.

As each person was introduced Jim had walked up and down the line and hugged each of them. He finally stepped back and wiped a few tears from his eyes. “I don’t know how to thank all of you enough.”

Ethan smiled at him as he led Jim to stand between the fire truck and ambulance, the respective crews lined up on either side. Ethan had his arm around Jim’s shoulder. “From all of us, you’re welcome. We’re glad we were there for you that night.”

Jim stood for several pictures with the crews shot by Ethan’s wife. The crowd around them broke into applause when the Engine Company Lieutenant told the story of Jim’s call. Emily Wilcox promised to email the pictures to Jim as soon as she could. After another round of thank-you's and hugs Ethan reached into the front cab of his ambulance and pulled out a manila folder. “Before you open this,” he told Jim, “I have a couple things for you.”

Ethan reached up to his collar and unpinned a small Star of Life pin. Then reaching into one of his cargo pockets he pulled out a heart cell toy. On one side of the toy were some large black stitches covering a neatly cut seam than had been sewn back together. “These are for you.”

Jim took both items and gazed down at them for a moment. After attaching the pin to his bag, he squeezed the small toy. At once came the familiar sound of a heartbeat. Looking up, he barely managed to swallow the lump in his throat as Ethan handed him his next envelope. The next card slid out easily. A Mexican pizza, a plate of hot dogs, a small stuffed dog, and Skee-ball and basketball arcade games graced the card. In the corner, two packets of hot sauce were drawn.

I figure you’re kind of emotional right now.
So next we’ll go someplace fun.
Your ability to turn horrible days
into fun ones is one of the many things I love about you.
That day at the mall was no exception.
Play Track 5

After one last round of hugs and thank-you's to the emergency crews Jim was back in his car. He was grinning at the memories of the day in question. Talking to Penny for the first time, Pam’s face when she mistook hot sauce for ketchup, her delight when she got a jackpot of tickets on the Cyclone game. He laughed again at the opening guitar riff for his next song. He recognized it instantly.

“Ever since I was a young boy
I've played the silver ball
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played them all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall
That deaf dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pin ball!”

Singing along to the rest of the song, Jim pulled out of the baseball field parking lot and headed for the highway. Traffic was light and in next to no time he was pulling into the parking lot of Steamtown Mall. He didn’t see anything when he walked through the food court. Adjusting the bag on his shoulder he made his way to the arcade. Looking around he saw a note placed on one of the Skee-ball ramps. The outside didn’t have any drawings. It just said, “Reserved for Jim Halpert,” on the front. He smiled as his eyes travelled over the words within the card.

You’ve had a busy day so far.
Relax, have some fun, win some tickets.

Setting the card down to reserve the game, Jim walked over to the change machine bought a two dollars worth of tokens. He used most of the tokens on the Skee-ball game and collected an impressive number of tickets as well. In homage to the song Pam had chosen for him, he used his last tokens at a Batman themed pinball machine. Inspired by the song, he played well enough to earn a bonus ball with which got him a place on the high score list. Grinning at his success he walked over to the prize counter and started looking at what he would be able to trade his tickets for.

The employee behind the counter saw him looking around and came over. “Are you Jim Halpert?”

“The one and only,” Jim said with pride.

“Forget all those things. I was told to give you a special prize.”

“How many tickets will it cost?” Jim asked, though he suspected he knew the answer.

“All those you won playing Skee-ball.”

Jim handed over the tickets and was given his next manila envelope in return. With a smile he thanked the arcade employee and returned to the food court. A rumble in his stomach reminded him he hadn’t eaten anything yet. There was no line at Taco Bell and in honor of the occasion he ordered a Mexican Pizza and a Pepsi. Sitting down at a table with his food he opened the envelope. An arcade token rolled out into his hand. Simple, but memorable. Good job Beesly, he thought to himself as he slid the next card out. A castle, a pair of putters, Pam’s old car, a box of crayons, and two golf balls, one neon green, the other hot pink graced the cover of his latest card. In the corner a small golf pencil completed the drawings. Jim’s grin was back on his face as he looked over the card. Good place for this all to end up.

The thing I remember most about that day
was how we spent most of it just talking about normal things.
Nothing to do with work or anything else.
Just a simple time getting to know each other better.
Of course the ice pack you got me and the
box of crayons was sweet too.
Play Track 6

With a smirk Jim put his new gift and card in his bag and dug into his meal. A host of happy memories came to him as he reviewed the walk down memory lane Pam had set up for him. When he was finished eating, he walked back to his car and let his mind drift back to the day of the mini-golf game. He remembered the flutter in his chest when Pam had loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves. It was one of the first times she’d been that close to him. Even after all the years it had been since that day, he still felt a not unpleasant shiver run up his spine. When he plugged his iPod back into his car and played his next song he started laughing again. She’d been paying attention when he mentioned that one of his favorite songs was on the soundtrack for “Happy Gilmore” when they’d watched it together a few weeks ago.

“Carry on my wayward son.
There'll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Don't you cry no more.

Once I rose above the noise and confusion,
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion.
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high.
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man.
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man.
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say.

Carry on my wayward son.
There'll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Don't you cry no more.”

Jamming out to classic rock, he drove to the mini-golf course in question. While the astro-turf playing surfaces were a little more worn out, it otherwise hadn’t changed. Several groups were tapping balls around as he walked across the parking lot. His eyes were scanning for Pam as he approached the booth. Okay Pam, end of the line, where are you?

“Can I help you sir?”

Jim turned to look at the teenage girl inside the booth who’d addressed him. “I think so. Has anything been left her for a Jim Halpert?”

“Right here,” she said with a grin. Reaching under the counter she handed him the now familiar envelope.

Thanking her Jim retreated to a nearby picnic table. His eyes were still scanning for Pam as he opened the envelope. A bark of laughter escaped him as he looked at his latest gift. It was the scorecard he’d kept from their game. Looking it over he confirmed it was the actual one from the day since the scores ended on the 12th hole. A fond smile formed on his face as he remembered the temper tantrum Michael had thrown which led to the game ending early. He looked up thinking Pam would appear now that he was at the end of the hunt. After a few minutes of her not showing up he started to get a touch worried. Come on Pam. Where are you? The golf pencil was the earliest thing I put in there. Anything more in the envelope?

He peered into the envelope again. Sure, enough there was another card within. Pulling it out he looked at the newest set of drawings. He recognized them of course, but they left him confused. A basketball arching towards a net, a blue basketball jersey with the number 4 on it, a small version of his high school mascot logo, and a pair of sneakers were on the card. Hoping his confusion would end he opened it to read his next clue.

There’s still a little more to this quest.
There’s so much history between us
some bad, but mostly good.
It would be foolish to ignore what’s happened
since it shaped who we are now.
It’s time to lay the ghosts of the past to rest
so we can enjoy our future together.
Play Track 7

Jim sat a staring at the note stunned. He sat on the table for a bit longer as he tried to decipher his latest clue. Okay now I’m officially confused. This has to be referring to high school. That’s my old jersey number after all. Ghosts of our past? What is she talking about? Okay Halpert, think. I’ve got a feeling she wants me to head to my old high school. But why? We didn’t go to the same school. Shoot what school did she go to? I’m sure she’s told me before. Well, I know she used to live in Archbald, so that would probably mean Valley View. But those are my school colors. She also wrote ghosts, plural. But didn’t include anything from her school. Then there’s all the basketball stuff. Did we ever play Valley View? They weren't in our conference, I remember that much. So, if we did it would have only been like once. Hold on, yes, we did play them. That was the night I met Morgan. So, wait, a sec, does that mean Pam went to school with Morgan? How did I not know that? Points to you Pam for getting me completely befuddled. I guess the only way to know is to head over to West Scranton and see what’s over there.

He waited until he was back in his car to turn his iPod back on. Scrolling down he selected the instructed track. At once a fast rap beat blared out of his speakers. He couldn’t help but laugh again at her song choice as he started driving towards his old high school. The music did much to clear his head of the confused thoughts racing through his mind.

“Everybody get up, it's time to slam now
We got a real jam goin' down
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam
Alright...

Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam!
Come on and slam, if you wanna jam!”

Larissa must have helped Pam create this list, he thought as the song played. How else would she have known that was basically our team’s theme song my senior year? Larissa! You are so dead next time I see you.

It took him a while to drive across town to his high school. Since the card had a basketball theme he decided to park near the entrance by the gym. Stepping out of the car he noticed one of the doors was bedecked with white and blue streamers. It wasn’t locked when he pulled on it. A wave of nostalgia hit him as he looked around the gym lobby. More streamers decorated the doors leading into the gym. The lights were on when he entered. The bleachers were stacked against the wall. It still looked identical to when he’d played there as a teenager. He was so caught up looking around he didn’t realize he hadn’t seen his next envelope.

TWEEET!! “Halpert! On the baseline!”

The sharp whistle blast and loud shout shook him out of his reverie. Emerging from the locker room door, his old basketball coach still had his hand on his whistle.

“Wind sprints! Let’s go!” Coach Weller barked out.

Four years of being coached by the man now walking towards him had instilled a discipline to follow his every instruction instantly. The habit hadn’t been broken as Jim took his messenger bag off his shoulder and jogged over to the nearest baseline. He set his feet and waited for the whistle blast he was sure would come.

TWEET!!

As fast as he could Jim ran up and down the court bending to touch each line on the floor before racing back to the baseline. He started taking in slow but deep breaths of air once he’d finished. He set his feet again ready for the signal that would send him running again.

“What’s my one rule!” Coach Weller shouted.

“Win together! Lose together! One team! One goal!” Jim shouted back.

TWEET!!

The whistle sent Jim sprinting back up and down the court. When he finished he was breathing a little heavier. He set his feet again and looked up at his old coach.

“A true champion admits and learns from his mistakes!”

TWEET!!

"He’s honest and forthright with those that he loves!”

TWEET!!

“Even when things are dark, he never gives up on them!”

TWEET!!

“And even if it takes him years, he keeps his word.”

TWEET!! TWEET!!

The double whistle blast was the signal the drill was over. Jim was glad for it. Putting his hands behind his head to help catch his breath, he stated walking over to greet his old coach. By now Coach Weller had pocketed his whistle and had a smile on his face.

“Great to see you again Jim,” he said as the two men embraced.

Jim had his breathing mostly under control by now. “You too Coach. I wasn’t expecting the wind sprints though.”

“I still remember how much you hated them,” Coach Weller told Jim. “But when Pam got a hold of me, she specifically requested that I have you run up a few. For old time’s sake, is what she said. However, you did get on the line right away and ran them without complaint. From what Pam’s told me it seems like you’ve learned not to run away from things either.”

Jim’s mind flashed with several scenes. Sitting in his interview and looking at Pam’s note, leaving New York, and his return to Scranton. The memories made him grin. He looked back at his old coach with a confident gaze. “I think that’s accurate.”

Coach Weller gave Jim an approving smirk. “Then I think that means you’ve earned this again.”

Reaching into the front pocket of his jeans, Coach Weller pulled out a blue patch. It was a letter “C” that was the badge denoting a team captain. He handed it over to Jim who took it fondly.

“I’ll have to thank her properly for this one,” Jim said with a grateful smile.

“If you say so. Here’s your last clue.” Coach Weller pulled a single card out of his back pocket.

Jim took the card and looked down at it. The cover had pictures of Pam’s teapot and his new messenger bag. Inside was the shortest note he’d received.

Time to cash in that rain check.
See you at the Viewmont Mall food court.
Play Track 8

Jim’s feelings of confusion returned in full force. Saying good-bye to Coach Weller he left his school and got in in his car. He wasn’t expecting the song that came out of his speakers.

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in, 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some long-forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.

His thoughts started to race again as he drove. Okay, things are now weird. This is the song Pam said she associated with that guy who stood her up in high school. Well no, Pam said he didn’t stand her up, just didn’t cash in on a rain check. Wait, Pam asked for a rain check this morning when we were getting up. But that was for something different wasn’t it? No, this morning isn’t the rain check she’s talking about in this note. I’m sure she said it on purpose though, the question is why?

Also, what’s with Pam asking Coach Weller to have me run like that? They still suck, just like they did the night I met Morg...

Jim was very glad he was at a stoplight at that particular moment. Had he still been driving, he was sure he might have run his car off the road.

That’s what Pam must mean about getting rid of the ghosts of our past. She must have found out about Morgan and after telling me about that guy who stood her up she wants to talk about all that. That must be what she means. But that doesn’t make sense. All the other things she gave me today were from times we were together. Unless Pam was in the stands that night at Valley View, she wasn’t there when I met Morgan. But the note leading me to West Scranton was clearly about our history together. This is why I’ve only pranked her a couple times. She’s far too smart for me.

You know what? I’m not going to worry about it. This is the last stop, she said she’d meet me at Viewmont. She’s got a good song for me to listen to so that’s what I’m going to do.

Glancing at his iPod, Jim saw there was still one more track to go. He turned off the repeat function and started the playlist from the top. He hummed along to the songs until he had safely parked his car in the mall parking lot. Gathering his things, Jim quickly made his way to the food court. Scanning the tables carefully, he failed to see Pam waiting for him. He did see a table with a small sign on it though. It reminded him of the sign that had reserved his Skee-ball game earlier. Sure, enough the folded cardstock had his name on it. A small name tag was on one of the seats. Slipping into the chair he could see the whole food court from his vantage point.

Okay Pam. I’m here. Your move.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Is that him?” Isabel pointed to a man who had started wandering the food court.

From their vantage point in one of the stores, Pam looked out into the mall. She shook her head. “Not tall enough.” She slowly let out a deep breath.

“Hey,” Isabel put a hand on Pam’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

Pam smiled at her friend. “I know, I’m just really excited. I just don’t know if he’s figured things out by now or not. I kinda want to see his reaction, but if he’s already gathered that I’m the Morgan he remembers, I won’t have gotten to see that.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Isabel lightly shoved Pam’s arm. “If he has or hasn’t it’ll still be fun.”

“You’re right.” Pam resumed her vigil. “Oh! There he is!”

Sure, enough Jim had entered the food court. After looking around he spotted the table and chair that had been reserved for him. He now had his back to where Pam and Isabel were watching him.

“Better get out there if you want a good seat for the show,” Pam told her.

Isabel gave Pam a quick hug before ducking out of the store. Pam waited until she saw that Isabel had discreetly taken a seat so she could watch Jim’s table. She felt her heart start to race. If there was a time that she’d felt more excited, Pam couldn’t remember it. Taking one more steadying breath, Pam walked out of the store.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Jim looked at his watch again. It had only been about five minutes since he’d sat down. He felt his leg start to bounce up and down. His eyes kept scanning over the tables around him. Resisting the urge to glance at his watch once more, he was just about to dig out his phone when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Hello Jamie, it’s been a long time.”

It wasn’t the voice that surprised him, it was how he was addressed. Jamie? I haven’t gone by that since high school. He jerked upright before slowly turning in his seat to face her. She wasn’t dressed as he normally saw her. She had on slip on sneakers that were covered in doodles. Her jeans bore the stains of what could only be paint splatters. The forest green turtleneck sweater hugged her form in all the right ways. Her bashful smile was only enhanced by her gentle green eyes looking back at him through a pair of glasses. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. She was carrying a black folder in front of her. It was a sight he’d only seen once in his life, but one he’d never forgotten.

Jim felt his mouth hang open. Memories from high school came flooding back to him. As they did the pieces of his adventure started falling into place. Oh my god! Pam is Morgan! Which means I was the guy who asked her out. She wanted to be with me more than Roy! She tried to find me too!

“Mind if I sit down?” she pointed to one of the free chairs at the table.

“Pam?” he asked shakily.

She looked at him with a curious expression as she slid into a chair. “Only my Meemaw calls me that, Jamie. I really rather prefer Morgan, like I told you online.”

“But, wait! This means! But how?” Jim spluttered.

“So articulate,” she teased as she set the folder on the table. “Maybe we should go back to the chat room.”

“No!” He blurted out. A huge grin blossomed on his face. Reaching out he put his hand on hers and was relieved when she didn’t draw it away. “No, this is great.”

Her grin widened. “I’m glad. I am sorry it took me so long to finally meet you here Jamie. Trust me, it wasn’t for lack of interest.”

He caught the slight tease in her tone of voice. Despite a flood of questions in his mind, he decided to play along. “Oh good! I was beginning to wonder. It’s really great to see you again Morgan.”

“I’ll bet,” she smiled back clearly pleased he’d risen to her challenge. Looking down she opened the folder. It was filled with pencil sketches. “So here you go. One private art show, and then I do believe you mentioned getting something to eat too.”

“I did?” Jim was momentarily confused.

“Well that’s what you said online,” she pulled out some papers and pushed them across the table.

Carefully Jim took them. He couldn’t stop the tightness in his throat or the tear that came to his eye as he read their chat log. I thought I’d thrown this away. Swallowing hard he found his voice again. “You printed this off?”

She giggled as she shook her head. “No can’t say I did. You did though. You’ll have to thank your sister for being the sentimental type and holding onto that.”

Jim cleared his throat and set the papers down before looking back at her. “Well you’re right. I did say that we could get food after you showed me some of your drawings.”

“Sounds great!” She settled into her chair with a sway of her hips. Slowly and carefully she started showing him the various drawings. Projects she’d had to work on for class as well as things she’d worked on in her free time. Eventually they came to the end of the folder.

“There’s one more though.” she said. “You specifically asked to see what I was drawing during the game. Honestly it wasn’t much during the actual game. Just some random still life type things. However, after we got done talking online, I went down to my room and added something. Before I show it to you, I want you to know that this drawing has been something I’ve treasured for years. I’ll fill you in on the details later, but suffice it to say there have been some trials I’ve gone through since we last met. When things got really hard, I’d look at this picture. The biggest thing I remembered about you was how kind you were after that guy on your team smashed my glasses. I’d look at this picture and I’d remember that even in hard times there were still people who were kind and who cared about me.”

She lifted the last sheet in her folder to reveal a smaller piece of paper. Carefully she slid it towards him. This one was covered in clear plastic tape. Like she said there were doodles of popcorn boxes, a can of Coke, and candy bars. However, it was the image of a high school basketball player going up for a jump shot that dominated the center of the page.

Reverently Jim picked up the sketch. He felt his fist clench as he put it over his mouth. It was only her gentle hand on his forearm that made him take his gaze off it to look back at her. He could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes even though her smile still lit up her face.

“Thank you, Jim.”

Jim couldn’t say anything. Instead he got up from his chair pulling her up with him. His arms wrapped around her and he pulled her close. Her own arms snaked around his and she held him just as tightly. Neither one of them knew how long they stayed like that holding each other. Eventually though they did break their embrace and sat back down, though they were still holding hands.

Using his free hand, Jim wiped the mist from his eyes. Looking over, he saw Pam was doing the same. He knew that since she’d stopped calling him Jamie, they were back to their adult selves. Their wide smiles were still very much intact. “I’ve seen this picture before,” he told her while pointing at the sketch of him.

“When?”

“My first day at work. When I first walked in and came up to your desk. You were looking at it. I remember thinking that you had good taste since you were looking at a picture of a basketball player.”

She beamed at him. “That’s right! I remember now. I remember just before you came up to my desk, I was wondering to myself where you were. If only I’d known then that you were standing right in front of me.”

He gave her hand a solid squeeze. “Yeah I think I had a few thoughts like that about you over the years too.”

She squeezed his hand back and kept smiling at him. “Enjoy your scavenger hunt?”

Jim gave a little laugh as he turned to bring his new messenger bag onto the table and sat back down. “I did. The new bag is wonderful by the way. Thank you. But I’ve got some questions about it all.”

“Shoot.” Pam also had taken her seat again.

“Okay, first how long have you known? All this must have taken a while to get set up.”

The light of mischief turned on in Pam’s eyes. “Since your parents cook-out. Your nephew kicked the box of all your drawings of me out from under your old bed. Then Larissa found me and showed me the yearbook picture that has the two of us in it. I was reminded of the yearbook picture you put in my teapot which gave me the idea to create your own bonus gift present.”

Jim felt his eyebrows raise. “So, you’ve been planning this for the last month?”

Pam nodded at him. “Yup. I needed to make sure everyone was available. That we could get the ambulance and fire truck to show up. That one was kind of tricky since I needed a Saturday that both the ambulance crew and firefighters were off duty on the same day. That’s harder than you’d think because of their schedules by the way. I also wanted to make sure your old coach would be around. Things like that.”

“Why the extra bonus gifts? The party poppers, the dove, and the C?” Jim had reached behind him for his messenger bag. He reached into it and spread the gifts out across the table.

“The gifts in the teapot you gave me were some of the silliest but sweetest gifts I’ve ever received,” Pam started. “Times we shared together. I agree that the times represented by the gifts you gave me were very special. But there were other times too that were just as special for me. Thus, the party poppers and doves. The C was the idea of your coach. I just asked him to have you do wind sprints since it was all that running which kept you home that night and able to get online to talk to me again.”

Jim gave Pam’s hand a squeeze. “I did think about adding a few more things to your teapot, but I was running out of room.”

She smiled back at him. “That’s okay. What you did give me was and still is more than enough.”

He returned her smile equally. “How did you manage to fix this?” He held up the heart cell plushie.

“Oh that,” Pam grinned. She took the toy from Jim and gave it a squeeze triggering the heartbeat sound. “Ethan was to blame for that one. When I called him up to arrange his part of the plan, I told him about this and how it was broken. He said he had a co-worker whose hobby was electronics and that he might be able to fix it. Apparently, the thing just needed a new battery. The extra stiches on the side was my idea though.”

“I’ll have to thank him again for being able to re-start both of my hearts,” Jim snickered. “I’m still surprised you were able to arrange everything so quickly though.”

“Well, I had some help.” She turned to face the rest of the food court and waved a hand.

He followed her gaze and immediately felt his face start to flame. “Oh no,” he moaned and ducked his face into his palm.

Pam only started laughing at him as Larissa, Penny, Isabel, Rachel, Mark, and Emily stood up from where they’d been watching. They converged on Jim and Pam’s table. Mark had a digital camcorder in his hand and a shit-eating grin on his face. They pulled up another table with enough chairs to accommodate everyone. As a group they were all grinning widely at Jim. Quite a bit of good-natured ribbing followed as the newcomers explained their parts of the plan.

As a group they left the food court for a nearby restaurant where they could talk easier. Penny had brought Pam’s teapot along with the original bonus gifts. The rest of the afternoon passed as the stories behind the gifts were shared. Pam sent off a few quick texts and soon the crew of Medic 4 arrived along with Coach Weller. The new arrivals were able to share some of their own stories as well.

Ethan and Steve shared a story about a father who called 911 at midnight because he locked his keys and his twelve-year old sleeping son in his car and couldn’t get his son to wake up to unlock the door. Coach Weller told them about a time where Jim was leading his team out of the locker room and they accidentally ran over the school mascot. Isabel and Penny tag-teamed talking about how Pam had once been too embarrassed to use her own name when she entered a painting in a local art contest and had used Penny’s instead. The painting won and so judges had started to award the prize money to a very confused Penny, while Pam was trying to prove she was the real artist.

Jim had his arm around Pam as they sat together listening to those and other stories. He looked down at her with a soft expression on his face. She was grinning widely at the others around their table. He couldn’t resist and squeezed her close to him for a quick side hug. She turned to face him.

“What was that for?”

His gentle smile was still on his face. “For doing all of this,” he said. “You really went above and beyond today. Saying thank you doesn’t nearly cover how much this all means to me.”

Pam closed her eyes momentarily as she leaned her head on his shoulder and brought her arm up to give him a proper hug. Looking up she kissed his cheek. “Want to get out of here?”

He nodded. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

They said their good-byes to the group before heading out to the parking lot. “Do I need to give you a ride back to your car?” Jim asked.

“No need,” Pam told him as she walked around to the passenger door of his car. “My car is only parked around the block from your place. Penny picked me up there so it would look like I was gone when you left this morning.”

“Very sneaky. I like it.” Jim had an impressed look to his face as he turned the car on and plugged the iPod into the stereo. “Time to play that last track?”

“Not yet,” Pam put a hand over the player. “We’ll wait till we get back. But we can play all the other songs.”

Jim brought her hand up to his lips. “As you wish.”

They made it back to Jim’s townhouse soon after. Pam put her teapot on the table and spread out her bonus gifts. Jim did the same with his new messenger back and its contents.

“There that looks good,” Pam decreed after she finished arranging each item. “Tomorrow I’m planning on sketching all these so I can go back over and paint in the rest with watercolors.

Jim walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and looked over her shoulder at the items spread across his table. He pressed a quick kiss into her hair. “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

She rested her hands onto of where his were resting over her abdomen. Turning back, she looked up at him. “Thanks.”

They stood smiling at each other for a moment before Pam stepped forward and broke his embrace. She grabbed onto one of his hands again and led him to the living room. Taking his iPod off the coffee table where he’d set it down when they’d gotten back, she plugged it into his home stereo. She scrolled to the last track of his playlist. As the music started, she turned back to him. Pam had a loving smile on her face as she extended a hand to him.

“May I have this dance?”

With his own smile he took her hand and led it over his neck. Her other hand joined the first as he took her hips in his hands and pulled her close. He could feel every wonderful curve of her body pressed against his as they slowly rotated in a circle. As the song continued, he leaned down and gently kissed her.

“I’ve wanted to tell you this for years. I love you Morgan.”

She grinned back up at him. “I love you too Jamie.”

She leaned her head on his chest to just be that much closer to him. He brought his hands up with one hand holding the small of her back and the other one tangled in her hair. They stayed holding each other as the music played around them.

“Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in public, Jim and Pam Halpert!”

Across the reception hall friends, family, and guests rose to their feet with loud cheers and applause as the newly wedded couple entered the room. Jim and Pam were glowing as they waved and made their way to the head table. As they arrived at their seats silverware started clinking on glasses. Jim gave Pam a roguish smirk as he first dipped her low before kissing her soundly. They were both laughing as he helped her stand back up. He pulled her chair out for her and she sat down. He followed suit along with everyone else.

“Careful with the theatrics,” she whispered to him under the din of chairs scraping as their guests were sitting down. Her hand had instinctively moved to cover her abdomen.

Jim raised his wife’s hand to his lips and grinned back at her. “I’m sure the Little One will be fine. Besides, after all the running around we did earlier to catch the boat, dipping you was probably just another walk in the park.”

Pam looked back at her husband lovingly. Even though the trip had been crazy so far, she was simply glad to be with him. A new thought crossed her mind then and her eyes furrowed a tad. “Are your brothers giving another speech like they did last night?”

“No, Johnathan’s giving the reception speech.” Jim glanced down the table to where his cousin sat in his tux past Tom and Pete.

“What about Michael?” Pam still had a note of concern to her voice.

“Don’t worry,” Jim patted her hand. “Right after the ceremony Tom and Pete told me that they had struck a deal with Michael. He got to lead that crazy dance down the aisle in return for an absolute promise to not try and make any kind of speech, stand-up routine, walk down memory lane, manager moment, or anything similar. Ethan also threatened Michael with horse tranquilizer if he tried anything.”

Pam snorted a laugh at Jim and glanced over the assembled guests. Ethan and his wife Emily were currently holding court at their table with their four-month-old daughter. Pam looked back at Jim with a grin on her face. “He’d do it too.”

The smiles stayed on their faces as the rest of the reception festivities got under way. Penny and Johnathan gave heartfelt speeches. Dinner was served with many glass clinking interruptions. The first piece of cake was carefully cut only to be used as weaponry as Pam smashed it into Jim’s face, to which he gleefully responded in kind. After they’d wiped their faces off and eaten what was left, they turned the rest of the cake cutting over to the reception hall staff.

The DJ then keyed up his microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen please take your seats as Jim and Pam share their first dance.”

Holding her hand, Jim led Pam away from the cake table and to the dance floor. They walked out to the middle of the floor as their arms wrapped around each other.

“I finally get to know what song we’ll be dancing too,” Pam said with a soft smile on her face.

“I’m sure you’ll love it,” Jim told her. “I know I do.”

As the first notes and lyrics came out of the speakers, Pam felt her eyes start to mist up. “Perfect.”

“As soon as I heard it, I knew the last song on my scavenger hunt playlist would be our song,” Jim replied softly as he started leading her in slow circles.

Pam didn’t reply, she just laid her head on his chest as the music played.

I set out on a narrow way,
Many years ago.
Hopin' I would find true love,
Along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two,
I wiped my brow,
Kept pushin' through.
I couldn't see how every sign,
Pointed straight to you.

And every long lost dream,
Led me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart,
They were just northern stars.
Pointing me on my way,
Into your lovin' arms.
This much I know is true,
That God bless the broken road,
And led me straight to you.

“Jim?” Pam looked back up at him as the song continued. He raised his eyebrows to acknowledge her. “I like this duet version of the song better than the Rascal Flatts version I put on your playlist.”

“Thanks,” Jim said as he kept smiling down at her.

“Thank you, Jim.” Pam went on softly but sincerely. “I know I’ve said it before, but just thank you for everything.”

Jim leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “You’re welcome Beesly.”

“It’s Halpert now,” she gently teased even though inside she knew she’d miss the familiar nickname.

“Tell you what,” Jim replied. “When you’ve been a Halpert longer than you’ve been a Beesly, I’ll stop calling you that.”

“Deal,” she said with sparkling eyes. “I’m so happy right now.”

“Me too,” Jim agreed. “After all, it’s not every day you get to marry your high school sweetheart.”

She kissed him softly before grinning back up at him and leaning close to his ear. “I wouldn’t have it any other way Jamie.”

“Same here Morgan,” he whispered back.

They didn’t talk anymore during their dance. Jim breathed in her scent and held her familiar curves close to him. He grinned again when he felt the slight swell of her abdomen press into him and the thought of their child growing within her. Pam rested her head on his shoulder as she listened to the lyrics of the song. Mentally she reviewed the long history they’d had together. They’d had their shares of ups and downs to be sure. But after all, she thought. That’s what happens with this thing called life.