When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams come true. Unless it’s really a meteor hurtling to Earth which will destroy all life. Then you’re pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteorite.

Pam had once seen that quote on a poster in Michael’s office. It had been hanging on a wall with four other motivational posters that had been really popular at the time; the ones with bold lettering screaming words like attitude, teamwork, or perseverance against a backdrop of some blue or purple tinted seascape. She hadn’t really paid much attention to them; she just knew that Michael had seen one in his dentist’s office and fallen in love with the idea of them so he bought as many as he could find. Then one day he had called her into his office to take notes on an infomercial that he wanted to film because didn’t she know that late night TV was where the real money and fame was at? She had started to zone out after about five minutes but then her eyes had landed on the wall of posters and for the first time, she really read the “inspirational” quote on the bright green one proclaiming Wishes.

Clearly, Michael hadn’t read it at all before buying it and hanging it up and she wasn’t going to be the one to tell him about it.

She told Jim immediately though and it had instantly become one of their things. For days, and then for weeks, any time one of them was having a bad day, the other would whisper or email the word meteorite and they would instantly be cheered.

One day Michael overheard Ryan telling Toby how lame he thought motivational posters were and they were all gone within the hour. Pam had tried to save the Wishes one, but Michael insisted on burning them all in the parking lot.

In time, she and Jim had forgotten about the poster, but every now and then, mostly on the rare nights where she saw a shooting star, Pam would think of the quote, and of Jim, and though she was an adult and not a four-year-old, she would make the same wish and hope for the best.

Eventually she stopped wishing on stars because all she’d gotten was meteorites. The most recent one coming in the form of a tall and gorgeous brunette named Karen.

So it was weird that all of a sudden today, a perfectly random and boring Monday in March, she found herself thinking about that poster and wishes. She wouldn’t fully appreciate how weird it was until the end of the day, but she still knew that it was.

Maybe it was the exhaustion she felt that had her thinking about random things. Because Pam was tired. She hadn’t been sleeping well recently and she was starting to feel a bit like a zombie, which was the It was the only reason she could come up with as to why she was willingly sitting in the break room and letting the other women in the office talk about her lack of a love life and how to fix it.

Because oh yes. They all had opinions. And she was too tired to argue with any of them.

“It’s simple math, Pam. The more guys you go out with, the more chances you have to sleep with them, which means more opportunity for a meaningful relationship.” That was from Kelly, an obvious mathematician.

“Have you thought about dating an older man?” Phyllis asked. She had not. “I know you’re still a young thing, but let me tell you, there’s something to be said about a man who’s been around the block a few times, you know?” Meredith shouted her ‘amen” from by the vending machines.

“There’s nothing wrong with sitting home every night. Maybe more of you should lead a righteous and chaste life.” Thanks, Angela.

“I know a guy. It’ll cost you eighty bucks an hour and he has a hook for a left hand but the women seem to love it. If you know what I mean.” When the hell had Creed snuck in?

“Hey, I bet Jim has a friend or two that’s single right now.” At this, every head in the room whipped toward Karen’s direction. To her credit, Karen didn’t flinch under their stares.

Pam barked out something similar to a laugh. She really was too tired for this. “Sure, go ahead and ask him for me.”

“Ask who what?” Now all of their heads turned to the door where Jim stood, looking uneasily. “Sorry to interrupt… whatever this is, but Michael wants everyone in the conference room in two minutes.” His head tilted to the side. “What is all of this?”

“Nothing,” Pam answered before anyone else could say anything. “But hey. Karen just offered up that you might have a single friend to set me up with.” She gave him a wintry smile and cut her eyes back at the other woman whose usual air of confidence was betrayed by the way she nervously played with the ends of her hair. “Maybe we can double,” she added sarcastically over her shoulder as she left the room.

“Pam, you are so brave.” Kelly waited for her to sit down next to her before reaching over to clutch her hand. “I don’t know how you don’t punch her in the face every morning.”

She had to laugh because she had imagined punching Karen a time or two, but then she shook her head and sighed, tilting her head back until it rested against the wall. She wished she could close her eyes and just take a nap right there. Instead she turned to look at Kelly. “Karen hasn’t done anything wrong,” she pointed out. “Not really, anyways. None of this is her fault.”

“I don’t know, Pam. She’s been super bitchy ever since Phyllis told her that Jim used to have a thing for you. She’s like Regina George now.” Kelly shook her head. “No, that’s not right, she doesn’t have a Gretchen or even a Karen, because she is Karen. But you’re totally a Cady, so I guess it could work? Or maybe she’s a Heather? Or a Heidi! Except, that’s a TV show and not a movie but you know what I mean. Oh, you know what!” Kelly’s eyes lit up as she bounced up and down in her seat. “You and I should totally have a movie night this weekend and watch all of the girly movies and find out which bad girl Karen really is. Won’t that be so much fun?”

Pam was saved from having to answer her because without warning, all of their conversations were drowned out by Genie in a Bottle blaring from a CD player as Michael danced through the door with a beach towel wrapped around his head like a turban.

Well that wasn’t something she saw every day.

“Greetings!” He cried out dramatically, first sweeping his arms out wide and then clasping them over his head as he stopped and did something Pam thought he intended to be a shimmy.

Michael shimmying well, anything, was nearly too much for her to handle. They were forced to endure his dancing for half of the song before he got a cramp in his side and shut the music off abruptly.

“I love you all very much,” he declared as he stood at the front of the room. “Except you, Toby, because no one could love you. Anyways, where was I? Right. I love most of you. You’re all like my children that I’ve had with my hot wife who still looks really hot after giving birth to you. If I had a wife.” He nodded to himself. “And I want you all to be happy. That’s all I want in this world, okay? For you guys to be happy. I know things, okay everyone? I see how tense and weird things can be in the office and I don’t like it. It hurts my heart. And sales, but mostly my heart. I was telling my girlfriend Jan about it last night while we were snuggling and she had the best idea. Are you guys ready for her idea?”

“I’m ready to go home,” Stanley muttered from the back of the room. Pam had never related to Stanley so much in all of the time they’d worked together.

“Stanley, even you can’t kill my joy for what’s about to happen, so don’t even try.” Michael was positively beaming as he reached under the table and held up a white basket the size of a punch bowl. “Does anyone know what this is? That’s right, it’s a basket. But it’s not just any kind of basket; that would be lame. No, this is a Jamaican Wishing Basket. I got it in Jamaica when I was there with my girlfriend Jan. And it works. You know how I know it works?”

“Because you wished for a girlfriend?” Kelly asked, raising her hand.

“Yes, and now I have a girlfriend. It’s incredible, right?” Michael nodded eagerly. “So what we’re going to do, what you’re all going to do, is make a wish right here, right now. It’s going to be miraculous.” He started handing out pens and slips of paper. “Write down your wish, don’t sign it, just write down your wish and throw it into the basket. That’s it! Boom! Bang! Pow!”

Pam was only half surprised when Dwight jumped up and demanded to go first. Michael set the basket down on the conference room table and turned the CD player back on as everyone reluctantly gathered around.

“Pam! Hey Pam.” She watched warily as Michael walked like an Egyptian over to her. “You wanna rub me the right way?”

“Michael.” She heard Toby sigh to the left of her. “Come on man, we’ve talked about this. You can’t—“

“Why are you even here, Toby? You aren’t going to ruin this for everyone. You know what I wish for? I wish for you to go away. How’s that sound? Hey everybody! Let’s wish for Toby to die in a fire.” Michael’s face twitched and then he frowned. “Dwight, come here and wiggle my nose. Like I’m Jeannie.” Surprising no one, Dwight obliged. He wiggled Michael’s nose back and forth with the tip of his finger as Michael bellowed, “So it was written, so it shall be done!”

Pam was not only exhausted, but now she had a headache to go along with it. Plus, as a bonus gift, she was stuck with the image of Michael dancing like Christina Aguilera forever burned into her memory.

It was a lot to take in all at once, so she tried not to think about any of it as she scrawled out her wish on the piece of paper and folded it twice before dropping it into the basket. She fled the room as quickly as she could, happier to see her desk than she had been in a long time.

“I’ll tell you what I wished for; I wished for Scranton to get a decent acapella group because the tunes are seriously lacking in this city, am I right?” Andy looked around the room expectantly but no one answered him.

They had only managed about eight minutes of silence before everyone started talking about what they’d wished for and Pam was learning more about her co-workers than she really needed to know.

Dwight had wished for new ninja stars and a boomerang. Because had any of them ever seen how cool it was to kill a bird with a boomerang?

Phyllis had wished for a romantic vacation with Bob Vance. That one seemed fairly obvious.

Meredith’s wish was for the guy at the 7-11 to drop the restraining order against her.

Creed asked for a goldfish.

“What about you, Pam?”

Her head snapped up at Phyllis’ question. “Oh me? You know, I asked for the usual,” she said, lifting her shoulders in a small shrug.  “World peace.” She relaxed when no one pressed her further. “What about you?” She surprised herself by directing the question to Jim. “What did you wish for?”

He leaned back in his chair with his hands laced behind his head. “A million dollars,” he said as though it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Pam raised an eyebrow at him, shocked that he would refer to one of their inside jokes so casually now. He raised both eyebrows at her and she shook her head, looking away as her cheeks turned pink at memories of them singing cheesy 90s songs on karaoke nights.

“What would you do with a million dollars?” Karen’s voice pulled Pam out of her memories. Right. She had almost forgotten about her for like, two minutes.

Jim pretended to think about it for a minute. “I’d buy you a green dress.” He paused to point at her. “But not a real green dress.” Pam had to pretend it didn’t sting as he let his new girlfriend in on their old joke.

Karen frowned. “I have a green dress, remember? I wore it the other night to dinner.”

Pam tried to stop her snort but just ended up choking. Jim glanced over at her and now she pretended she was very busy sorting papers.

“Hey Pam?” He didn’t wait for her to look up at him again. “What would you do if you had a million dollars?”

“Oh me?” She shrugged as she continued separating faxes into two different piles. “I’d probably buy you an exotic pet.”

“Yeah? Like a llama?”

“Or an emu.” She was surprised at how effortlessly the words flowed off of her tongue, considering it had been at least a year since she’d last really heard the song.

“Wow, I’m honored. Really, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” There was an awkward silence as Karen looked back and forth between the two of them with her eyebrows arched into her bangs.

“Hey Pam?”

She bit the inside of her cheek but kept her eyes on her computer screen. “Yes Jim?”

“Do you want to know what else I’d buy if I had a million dollars?”

“I’m dying to know.” She tried her best not to smile but this was the most they’d talked since Christmas and damn it, she was not so pathetic that this was the absolute highlight of her day, was she?

“I think I’d buy you some art.”

“Like a Picasso?”

“Nah.” He shook his head and she knew that this was the highlight of her fucking month. “Maybe a Garfunkel.”

“Tuna!” Andy’s yell startled them both out of the moment and they turned to look at him. “Shut up, I love that song! Let me look up the words real quick and we’ll start over from the beginning, okay? Is this it? Is my wish coming true? Is music coming to Scranton? You guys!”

“Yikes, look at the time.” Pam pointed to the clock. Four fifty-seven. “I’ve got to get home but maybe you and Jim can work out a nice duet together. I’d love to hear it tomorrow.” She stuck her tongue out at Jim just as Karen appeared at his side, running her hand along the back of his shoulders and staring daggers in Pam’s general direction.

Jim laughed, trying to diffuse the situation as they all gathered their coats and headed for the door. “Karen, calm down. It’s just a stupid song we used to sing sometimes.” She just shook her head at him and flounced through the door ahead of him.

Pam was still shutting down her computer when she noticed Jim lingering at her desk. He tapped his fingers nervously against the counter and waited for her to look up at him. “Did you really wish for world peace?”

She nodded as seriously as she could. “It’s what I want most in the world, Jim.”

“Right. Well.” He looked down at his hands and then back at her. “Watch out for the meteorites,” he said quietly just before he slipped out the door.

Pam didn’t stop smiling the entire way home.

Once she got to her apartment it was the same as every other night. She made dinner and cleaned up the kitchen after. Her mom called at seven to say hi and she did some of her homework while Jeopardy played in the background.

It wasn’t until later, once she’d changed into her pajamas, the pink striped ones that she’d had forever, and was settled in front of the TV with a glass of wine she hoped would help her sleep later, that she really let herself reflect on just how weird the entire day had been.

What exactly were the odds that the first day in months that she’d given the Wishes poster any kind of thought at all was the exact same day that Michael would bring in a ridiculous wishing basket he’d gotten from some street vendor in Jamaica? And okay, if that wasn’t weird enough, why was today also the day that not only did her co-workers become invested in her love life but that she and Jim actually managed to be more than just civil to each other? What was actually going on?

Because she had lied earlier. She hadn’t wished for world peace.

No, when Kelly had pressed the purple gel pen into her hand and told her to make it count, she had stared at that blank piece of paper for two seconds before telling herself that the entire thing was stupid, it wasn’t real, and it didn’t actually matter what she wrote down so she might as well write down the one thing she’d been wanting for some time now.

She wished for a fairy-tale romance.

She didn’t even like fairy-tales. Not really.

Pam sighed as she turned over to stare at the alarm clock again. Three-eighteen. It didn’t look like she was going to get any sleep tonight either, and that was just awesome. She’d hoped the wine from earlier in the night would slow the thoughts tumbling around in her head, but if anything, it had just made it worse. Her brain wouldn’t turn off.

Why had she made that stupid wish in the first place? What did she mean by it?

Why had they all just willingly given Michael handwritten ammunition to use against them? What exactly was he going to do with all of that knowledge?

This last thought was the one she was currently focused on. No one had even argued with Michael about how stupid his stunt was; they’d just written down their wishes and tossed them into a basked and gone about the rest of their day like nothing had happened. No one had bothered to ask him what happened to those slips of paper and for all she knew, he was going to use them against them.

Not that Michael was malicious, but was he going to read her silly little moment of weakness and use it to try and hit on her? Oh god. He probably was.

She groaned as she reached down for one of the decorative pillows she’d thrown to the floor before bed. She had the fleeting thought of smothering herself so that maybe she could get some sleep, but she opted for screaming into the embroidered fabric instead.

Honestly, Pam had always thought fairy-tales were kind of dumb and she’d never really understood the whole princess thing. Sure, now that she was an adult, she could see the practicality of Sleeping Beauty owning a dress that turned from pink the blue and she absolutely appreciated Belle’s desire to escape a small town. But even as a child she’d thought Ariel was an idiot and Cinderella never interested her because she couldn’t get over her own fear that talking mice might be living in the attic.

It was likely her grandma’s fault. As far back as she could remember, Grandma Cecelia had never read to her about Goldilocks or Little Red Riding Hood. No, sleepovers at Celia’s house meant watching Gone with the Wind and dancing around the living room in old bridesmaid dresses. Pam could recite lines of dialogue from Sabrina and Breakfast at Tiffany’s before she was ten, which was something her parents didn’t exactly love; but they both worked and relied on Celia to babysit for them, which she did happily. Her only rule was that she wasn’t going to change her lifestyle for that of a kid’s. That’s not to say she wasn’t a fantastic grandmother to have; she baked the best peanut butter cookies Pam had ever had and was especially generous with both her hugs and just-because presents.

It was under her grandma’s casually watchful but perfectly made-up eye that Pam drifted away the pages of the Baby-Sitters Club and Sweet Valley and started devouring the likes of Danielle Steel and VC Andrews instead. Stories that definitely didn’t have a fairy-tale ending but as Celia would point out, “You tell me, Darling, what’s more likely to happen; your husband cheating on your or that you’ll find some magic beans in the middle of the woods?”

Grandma Celia had been widowed once and divorced twice, so Pam never questioned her knowledge of love and relationships. The rest she learned from summer afternoons on Celia’s couch; drinking lemonade and watching General Hospital and Oprah.

So yeah, fairy-tales? They’d never been her thing, like ever, so as she lay there in bed and questioned the choices she’d made earlier that day, she had no idea why she was wishing for one now.

Not that it mattered, she reminded herself. The entire thing was just one of Michael’s stupid time-wasters; but really, she should have wished for straighter hair or for neighbors that didn’t have sex on the roof twice a week. Practical things that would actually make her life easier. But no, she’d let herself get swept up in the moment and now she couldn’t sleep because she couldn’t stop thinking about how stupid it was.

Romance was messy and complicated and ridiculous. It didn’t matter what she’d thought for like, five minutes at one point in one day in her life; she definitely didn’t want or need romance in her life right now.

And especially not with Jim.

Pam’s eyes flew open and she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. Where in the hell had that come from?

Nope. She definitely didn’t want that.

She looked at the alarm clock again. Three thirty-eight.

It was all so stupid.

--

“Oh my God, you look terrible.”

Pam didn’t bother looking up from her computer. “Thanks Kelly. Good morning to you too.”

“Obviously I’m here to say good morning, but this—“ Kelly stopped talking and waved her hand in front of Pam’s face. “Distracted me. You’re so pretty, Pam. Imagine if you tried even just a little bit. Like, a little eyeshadow would make your eyes pop, you know?”

She did know. She was just too tired to care. “I haven’t been sleeping well.” A yawn escaped her lips, proving her point. “By the time I finally got out of bed this morning, I was already late and this—“ She waved her own hand in front of her face. “Was the best I could do.” Truthfully, she wasn’t even sure what she looked like that morning. She barely remembered brushing her hair before clipping it back, so she highly doubted she’d taken any time at all with a mascara wand. At least her Chapstick was tinted.

Kelly was shaking her head. “That’s not good enough, come with me.” She was around the desk and tugging on Pam’s arm before Pam could argue. She followed Kelly into the ladies room and watched as she spilled an entire bag of make up onto the counter and started sorting through it.

“This is sweet, Kelly, but I don’t—“

“I saw what you wished for yesterday.” Kelly’s hand was coming toward her, armed with an eyeliner pencil. “And it wasn’t world peace, thank god. What a waste that would have been, right?”

“The whole thing was a waste of time,” Pam pointed out. She shook her head at the lime green eyeshadow Kelly held up and pointed at a pretty shell pink instead.

“Pink will just make you look even more tired.” They compromised on a shimmery sand color. “What do you think about Toby?”

“Toby?” Pam shrugged. “He’s a nice guy.”

“Stop, I see what you’re doing. I don’t mean like, do you think he’s nice. I mean, do you think you’d want to go out with him? On a date.”

“What?” She pulled back so quickly that Kelly almost ripped out half of her eyelashes with the curler. “No, I don’t think… why?”

“Come on, Pam. How are you going to find romance if you don’t put yourself out there? I know it’s been awhile since you dated, and that thing with Alan was a total bust, so maybe you start out with someone harmless?” She uncapped a tube of lipstick before looking up at Pam. “And Toby’s as harmless as they come. He’d be a great practice date.”

“I don’t think I need a practice date.” Pam tried to lean away from the lipstick, but Kelly had a surprisingly strong grip on her chin.

“Are you sure about that?” Kelly raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t wait for an answer. “Anyways, Toby’s kind of cute, don’t you think? In that Giles from Buffy kind of way?” Kelly waited for her to blot her lips and then reached up to pull the barrette out of her hair. “You really should wear your hair down more. Anyways, what do you say?”

“I’ll wear my hair down more?”

“Not about that!” Kelly blinked. “I mean, yes, great, you should definitely do that, but I’m talking about Toby. Do you want to go out with him?”

She really didn’t. “I’ll think about it.” What? Why did she say that?

“Great!” Kelly clasped her hands together. “And I’m all done here. You look so much better now.”

Pam turned to look at the mirror to her left and she had to admit, Kelly had practically pulled off a miracle, given what she’d had to work with. Gone were the circles under her eyes, there was a slight blush to her cheeks, and fine, maybe her eyes did pop with a little color. She gave the other woman a genuine smile. “Thanks, Kelly.”

“Don’t mention it! But do me a favor and tomorrow, maybe wear something a little less old maid and a little more—“ Kelly raised her eyebrows suggestively. “You know?”

Again, Pam did know. But that didn’t mean she was going to listen. “Maybe,” she offered.

Kelly smiled and placed a hand on her arm before she could open the bathroom door. “I just want you to be happy, Pam.”

Pam tilted her head and watched curiously as Kelly went back to the annex. It was true that they had become closer over the last few months but it still caught her off guard any time Kelly was genuinely nice without an ulterior motive.

Whatever. She didn’t have time to think about it. She’d already been behind on her work before the impromptu makeover, it was going to be almost impossible to catch up before lunch time.

She was in the middle of listening to her ninth voicemail when she looked over and caught Jim staring at her. She snapped her head back down and finished writing out a message for Michael from David.

Jim was still facing her as she deleted the eleventh voicemail from her inbox and she lifted an eyebrow expectantly at him. “What?” she asked finally. It was her turn to watch as he pushed himself out of his chair and walked toward her desk. He leaned against the counter and she felt a hint of annoyance when he still didn’t say anything. “What?” she asked again.

His eyes darted back and forth and she realized he was making sure no one else was paying attention to them. Her own eyes cut to the right and she saw that Karen’s desk was empty. “You look nice today,” he said quietly.

Oh. She truly hadn’t expected that. “Thanks.” There was an awkward pause and she half-rolled her eyes and laughed softly. “Kelly did this; she…” she shook her head. “It’s Kelly.”

“Yeah. Well. Like I said.” The way his eyes lingered over her had her deciding right then and there that she was going to put more of an effort into her make up every single day going forward. He blushed a little and drummed his fingers on the top of the counter. “Right. I better get back to work.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “I should probably start work,” she agreed. He didn’t move and her grin widened. “Might be easier to work from your desk,” she teased lightly.

Jim propped his chin on one fist while his other hand snaked jellybeans out of the candy dish. “Maybe not though. What if I’m more productive up here? You seem to get a lot done from this part of the office.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, I just make it look like I’m busy. But at your desk you can either work or you can talk to Dwight. No wonder you’re this month’s top salesman.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to get rid—“ They were interrupted as Karen breezed through the front door.

“Oh my god, what a morning.” She wasn’t talking to anyone in particular but Pam didn’t miss the way Jim shoved himself away from her desk and moved to grab Karen’s Starbucks cup as she struggled to get her coat off while going on about how she’d locked her keys in her car and had to wait for roadside assistance.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Jim asked, handing her back her coffee.

Karen’s eyes slid back and forth between him and Pam. “You were so set on staying at your place last night that I didn’t want to bother you.” Her eyes landed on Pam again. “You look different.”

Different. Pam just smiled back. “Morning Karen. Sorry about your car.” She watched as Jim followed the other woman to her desk as they talked in hushed tones and all she really wanted to know was why Jim hadn’t spent last night with Karen.

She’d played this game before; the one where she allowed herself to fantasize about the kinds of fights Jim and Karen would have and what it would take for them to break up. How could she not? Between Jim not wanting Karen to move out of her hotel and Karen keeping Jim up at night so they could have deep soul-searching conversations; there were plenty of opportunities to wonder if and why they were fighting.

She was in the middle of her favorite fight fantasy; the one where Jim would tell Karen it had been a mistake for her to come to Scranton and that he was in love with someone else (What? She was a simple girl with simple fantasies) when out of the corner of her eye she saw Jim poking Karen in the side, clearly trying to get her to laugh.

Pam’s smile faded as she watched him make faces at her, and tease her in low tones until finally Karen broke. She shook her head as she laughed with him but then she was on the tips of her toes and kissing Jim. Right there in the middle of the office, in front of everyone.

Right. He hadn’t been flirting with her. He was just being friendly. She’d forgotten what that looked like.

She busied herself with work while remembering that they were still together and there probably wasn’t any great big reason he had slept at his own place last night. Yesterday had been Tuesday. He played basketball on Tuesdays and he probably had a rough game and just wanted to crash in his own bed instead of Karen’s sketchy hotel one. He probably had a really comfortable bed.

Not that she ever thought about Jim’s bed. Shit, now she was the one blushing.

“Hey Pam, how’s it going?”

She startled, nearly dropping her phone. “Oh, hey Toby.” She could see Kelly peeking around the corner of the doorway and tried not to roll her eyes. “What’s up?” She frowned as she finally actually looked up at him. “Are you okay? Why are you hunched over like that?” Toby’s lanky frame was practically folded in half.

“Rollerblading accident last night.” He gingerly rubbed the base of his spine. “I’m fine, but it hurts to straighten out.”

She frowned. “You should see a doctor for that, it looks painful.”

“I’m fine,” he repeated, brushing her concern off. “Listen, I was wondering if you’d maybe… I don’t know… do you want to have dinner tonight? With me,” he added after a pause.

Other things Pam could have wished for yesterday: she could have wished she was a better liar, or that she was a quick think on her feet type of person. Hell, she could have wished she wasn’t such a sucker for puppy dog eyes. Any one of those things would have helped her to say no to this dinner date she didn’t want to go on.

But Karen and Jim were still acting well, like a couple; and Kelly hadn’t been entirely wrong in her assumption that Pam needed to get back into dating and Toby was harmless so there wasn’t any real reason for her to say no.

So she said yes. Because really, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?

--

Yes, as it turned out, it could be that bad.

She wondered if she wasn’t being fair as she recounted her dinner with Toby to Kelly in the break room the next morning. Not only had the poor guy still be in a pain and unable to stand or sit straight, he had clearly been a lot more nervous about the whole thing than she had been. She felt slightly guilty as she told Kelly how he had stuttered his way through an hour of painful conversation and turned red every time she tried to say something nice to him, or how he’d nearly jumped out of his skin when she tried to hug him goodnight before getting into her car at the end of the night. Toby was a nice guy and she was all but giving the biggest gossip in the office all the ammunition she needed to make his life a living hell.

Kelly, however, seemed nonplussed by the whole thing as she waved it off and told Pam she was proud of her for trying and that her next date would be better.

“Because there’s going to be a next date,” she said excitedly before Pam could argue that she wasn’t sure she’d call dinner with Toby a date. “I’ve already got it all planned, are you free tonight? Tell me you’re free tonight.”

She was free that night but she didn’t know if she wanted Kelly to know that. “Why?” she asked warily.

“One of Ryan’s friends from business school just broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago and he said he’s ready to start dating again and isn’t that just perfect timing? We can all go out tonight; won’t that be so much fun?”

Pam wasn’t so sure. “I don’t know, Kelly. Remember Alan?”

Kelly shook her head. “Forget about Alan. Let’s focus on Brad.”

“Brad?” She couldn’t picture herself dating a Brad.

“Brad,” Kelly repeated. “He’s super cute, and smart, and he can’t wait to meet you so you see, you have to come out with us tonight. You just have to.”

She sighed. “I guess I can, but—“

“Great! I’ll tell Ryan to call Brad and set it up and they’ll take care of all the details and all you and I will have to do is show our cute asses up.”

Being friends with Kelly was exhausting. Still, Pam knew she should be grateful that Kelly was so concerned with her being happy. And she was, she really was, but it was still exhausting to keep up with her.

“Hey Karen!” Kelly’s voice changed as the other woman came into the breakroom in search of coffee. “That’s such a cute scarf, where did you get it?” She let Karen speak for about ten seconds before she interrupted her. “Cool, cool, I’m totally going to go get one this weekend. Karen, doesn’t Pam look amazing today?”

Pam cringed and jabbed Kelly in the side with her elbow but Kelly wasn’t paying any attention to her.

“You look great,” Karen offered as she stirred sugar into her coffee. “Did you do something different with your hair?”

She had done something different with her hair. Instead of spending the early morning tossing and turning in her bed, she had gotten up and used the time to properly do her make-up and style her hair. She’d even taken Kelly’s advice and ditched her usual pastel colored cardigan and button-down in favor of an emerald green sweater that Penny had talked her into buying a month ago.

Kelly was still gushing about how great she looked. “I told her all she needed was a little more color in her life and I was right. She looks like a brand new woman. Everyone thinks so. Everyone,” she added meaningfully before squeezing Pam’s arm. “I knew you could be sexy if you just tried.”

Karen looked as uncomfortable as Pam felt and she left the room as quickly as she could. Kelly exhaled dramatically and grinned at Pam. “That was awesome. She’s totally jealous.”

“That’s not why I—“ Pam tried to protest but Kelly was already off on another tangent, saying that she’d get back to her with the details for their date later that morning. And then she was gone and Pam was alone in the break room.

She took a few minutes to shake the weirdness of another weird morning in the office before heading back to her own desk. She had an hour of peace before she was interrupted again.

“I’m hearing all sorts of things about you this morning, Beesly.”

She finished filling in her report before looking up at Jim. It wasn’t fair how good he looked without even trying. “Like what?”

“Are you dating Toby?”

She couldn’t resist teasing him. “What if I was?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “That would be weird. He’s a nice guy but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a basement full of bodies, you know?”

“Stop it.” She tried to scold him but she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “He’s harmless.”

“Sure, until he’s using your skin for a lampshade. Watch your back, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Yeah well, I think I’ll be okay.” She shook her head. “I’m not dating Toby. I had dinner with him last night, but that was it.”

“Because you’re dating Kelly?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

He smirked. “Karen said she walked in on you two in the middle of something in the breakroom. That Kelly was going on and on about how hot you were.”

Interesting. “You know how Kelly is,” she offered. “She’s all about female empowerment.”

“Is she?” Jim crooked his head to the side.

“What, are you saying that she’s wrong?” She bit the inside of her cheek as Jim’s cheeks turned red and he stuttered through a denial. “I’m teasing,” she said, putting him out of his misery. “God, you’re so easy.”

“That’s what she said,” he quipped. “So I guess what you’re telling me is that everything I heard this morning is wrong?”

“Seems like it.” She shrugged. “Might want to check your sources.”

“So you’re not going out with one of Ryan’s friends tonight?”

“Oh.” She nodded. “Actually, that one’s true.”

“Oh.” Jim looked away and then back at her. “Really?” He wasn’t smiling anymore. In fact, he was almost frowning.  Huh.

The phone rang before she could say anything and Jim just nodded and turned away from her.

She watched him slink back to his desk as she raised the phone to her ear. “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.”

The double date was a disaster.

Brad was probably a nice enough guy, even if he did have what could only be described as really interesting facial hair and if he was so short that Pam felt like a giant standing next to him in her ballet flats. The problem was that he seemed completely uninterested in her.

“I’m sorry, am I boring you?” she’d asked after he yawned for the fifth time in as many minutes. They hadn’t even ordered dinner yet. Kelly and Ryan were already off fighting in a corner and Pam was trying to talk to Brad but he was barely paying attention to her.

“I’m so sorry.” He offered her a genuinely apologetic smile. “I’ve been so slammed with school and work and I’ve pulled all-nighters the last three nights in a row and I don’t think I’ve gotten more than four hours of sleep this week.”

Pam could relate. She even felt bad for him. At least, she did until he actually dozed off during dessert. One minute he was telling her about his dog and the next, his eyes were closed and his head lolled to the side.

She left without saying goodnight to Kelly or Ryan. They had moved on to making out instead of fighting and she knew she could be safely in her car before anyone noticed she was gone.

The next day was even weirder.

It all started when Andy cornered her in the break room during lunch. “Pamela Beesly, I’m hurt. I thought we were better friends than this. How could you treat me this way?”

She looked up from her salad. “Andy?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. She had no idea what he was going on about.

“Did you think it’s fair? Did you think you could you start looking like that and going on dates and not even consider that I could show you the best night of your life?”

She choked a little on her vinaigrette dressing and tried to cover it with a cough. “No,” she said honestly, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin. “No, I didn’t think you’d be interested—“ she tilted her head to the side. “I’ve been on one date. How do you know about it?”

“Kelly’s got a voice that carries.” He wasn’t wrong. “Besides, what about the Tobster?”

“That was dinner, not a date!” She frowned as Andy sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her. “What—what are you doing?”

“I am going to sit here and bask in your hotness until you agree to go out with me. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but you know how I went to Cornell?”

Not a day had gone by since he started working there that Andy hadn’t mentioned his college days. “Uh-huh.”

“I was a total ladies’ man.”

“I believe it. Andy, there are like, nine chairs in here. You don’t have to sit on the floor.”

“It’s better if I sit here,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s like you’re on a pedestal and I can gaze adoringly at your killer bod.”

“Great.” She crossed one leg over the other and turned away from him.

“You like smart guys, right? Of course you do. Tell me if this tickles your fancy. Just last night I answered more questions on Jeopardy than my maid did. She said I’m the smartest boss she’s ever had. Did you know that I have two degrees from Cornell?”

It was the longest lunch hour of her life. So long that she was positively thrilled when Roy interrupted them.

He’d barely looked at Andy who was still sitting on the floor while he told her she looked beautiful. He said that his sister Anna was in town for the weekend and when she said to tell her she said hi, he invited her out to dinner with them that night.

She didn’t know why she said yes. She’d always liked Anna but she had no interest in having dinner with Roy.

It did get Andy off the floor though, so at least there was that.

Kelly was aghast when she found out. “Roy, Pam? Roy?”

Pam didn’t know what to say with her because honestly she was just as surprised as Kelly was. Thankfully she didn’t have to defend herself because Kelly’s eyes lit up and she nodded slowly.

“Actually, this is good. This is very good, Pam. You can show him exactly what he’s missing out on. Really drive it home that he lost the best thing he ever had.”

“Kelly, no.” She shook her head. She didn’t want to cause any trouble; she’d already broken the guy’s heart once. “I just want to see his sister, that’s all.”

“Of course.” Kelly winked at her. “You know what you should do though? Wear the sexiest pair of heels you own. That’ll teach him.”

“Teach him what, exactly?”

“I don’t know; do I have to explain everything to you? It’s a power move, Pam. You need to strut in there with your favorite shoes tonight. You’ve got a pair, right?”

Pam thought about the red heels buried in the back of her closet. “Yes,” she sighed.

“Just wear them. Trust me. Not even for him; wear them for you. You’ll see once you’ve got them on.”

Pam only agreed because she wanted Kelly to leave her alone. And because they were really cute shoes.

“Mike Tibbets.”

Pam looked up from the Sudoku game she was playing to kill the last ten minutes of the day. Jim was standing over her desk. “Who?”

“Mike Tibbets,” he repeated. “He’s a friend of mine and um.” He sighed. “Look, remember how Karen told you she wanted to set you up with one of my friends?”

That wasn’t exactly how she remembered the conversation going but Pam just nodded. “Oh. Right. Jim, really. You don’t have to—“

“She already did,” he said and she swore she could hear a touch of frustration in his voice. “She talked to him this afternoon and—“ Instead of sounding frustrated, now he just sounded apologetic. “Do you have plans tomorrow night? Karen thought the four of us could go to dinner and maybe a movie.”

She’d rather go out with Andy. “Jim.” She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think…” she sighed and lifted her eyes to his. “I mean, do you think that this—“

“No,” he said quickly and she didn’t know if she was relieved or offended. “I don’t, but Karen does and it just…” he sighed and now he looked embarrassed more than anything else. “You would be doing me a huge favor right now if you said yes.”

“I see.” She had so many questions but was too afraid to ask any of them. Jim looked positively sick at the idea of going on a double date with her and she was pretty sure that her face mirrored his. “Yeah, okay,” she said finally because apparently this week, she didn’t know how to say no to anyone. “Let’s do it.”

“Really?” Now she couldn’t read his expression.

“Really.” She smiled tiredly. “Maybe it’ll be fun, right?”

“Maybe.” He didn’t sound like he believed that. “Mike’s a really nice guy.”

“I didn’t think you’d be friends with assholes.”

“Right.” He tried to laugh but it got caught in his throat. “Well, okay. I’ll get things set up  and let you know tomorrow morning?” She nodded. “Great.

“Great,” she echoed. So to recap, tonight she was having dinner with Roy and tomorrow night she was going out with Jim. And Karen. And Mike Tibbets, whoever he was.

Just great.

--

She almost died the next day.

Okay, that was dramatic. She didn’t almost die. Not really. And it wasn’t intentional. At least, she didn’t think it was. Though, with the way the morning had started out, she couldn’t be completely positive that Karen hadn’t done it on purpose.

She hadn’t missed the look Karen had given her when she walked in that morning. Casual Fridays had been reinstated the month before so Pam had ditched her skirt for her favorite jeans and yeah, okay, she knew she looked good in them.

The thing was, Kelly’s whole encouraging her to dress up and wear the red heels and flirt for fun? She’d probably never admit it out loud, but it was starting to work. For the first time in months, Pam felt good about herself. Confident, even.

It had been a long time since she’d felt that way. So it hardly bothered her when in the middle of the morning, she’d overheard Phyllis and Karen whispering to each other at the copy machine.

“…don’t get it,” Karen had whispered. “She’s got boobs, so what? The way they stare at her, you’d think the guys here had never worked with a woman before. She’s not that great.”

"I think they’re fake.” Phyllis’ voice was barely a whisper. “Do you know she’s been out with a different guy every night this week?”

Pam dropped a ream of paper and smiled sweetly as they both jumped and scurried back to their desks. Just because it barely bothered her didn’t mean she had to sit there and listen to them talk about her.

Jim had grinned at her when he came in. Told her she looked great in a voice loud enough for Karen to hear, and then added quickly that he was sure they were all going to have a great time that night, taking the time to reassure her again that Mike was a nice, normal guy.

Karen cornered her in the break room at lunch. “Mike’s really excited about tonight.”

“Yeah?” Pam tapped her fingers against the vending machine as she waited for her soda to drop. “Well, that’s good I guess. Jim says he’s nice.”

“He is. He’s super nice. I think the two of you are really going to hit it off.” Karen’s smile was a little forced. “I just want you to find a good guy,” she added with a nod. “You deserve to be happy.” Her eyes narrowed the tiniest bit. “I think everyone would be happy if you found someone again.”

“Yeah?” She bent down to get her soda and straightened back up before looking directly at Karen. “I guess I didn’t know realize that personal life was so important to everyone else.”

“Everyone just really cares about you.” Karen smiled at her. “Anyways, I baked these last night.” She held out a plate of fruit tarts. “I was just about to take them out to everyone; do you want one before Kevin gets ahold of them?”

“Sure, thanks.” Pam’s fingers hovered over the plate until she decided on an apple one. “It looks great.”

It wasn’t an apple tart at all. It was a pear tart. And she was allergic to pears.

Twenty minutes later she had broken out in hives so severe that Michael had freaked out and tried to call an ambulance before Dwight tackled him, telling him that she didn’t need an ambulance when he had an epi pen.

She wasn’t letting Dwight and his epi pen anywhere near her. She convinced Michael that she’d be fine… she was pretty sure she’d be fine. She felt fine, at least, apart from the itching and the slight swelling in her throat but she knew it would all pass quickly. Really, she just wanted to use the whole incident as an excuse to go home for the rest of the day and Michael immediately agreed, but not before decreeing that the office would be pear-free from that day forward. He’d glared especially hard at Karen while he said it.

As Pam slipped out the door, she couldn’t miss the small, satisfied smile that twitched across Karen’s face. She stood in the elevator and watched her reflection as the hives spread over her throat and toward her cheeks.

Like she said, she was pretty sure it was an accident.

--

“Pam? Open up. Come on Pam, I know you’re in there. I can see your car out front.” It was quiet for five seconds and then Kelly knocked again. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to sit out here and knock and knock and yell and your neighbors are probably going to get mad and call the police on me. I’m not leaving though Pam, so it’s your choice. Either let me in or risk being responsible for me getting arrested. Because I’ll do it Pam. I’ll go to jail for you if I have to.”

For half a second, Pam considered letting the neighbors call the cops on Kelly but then she dragged herself off of the couch and pulled open the door.

“Oh my god, your face.” Kelly recoiled at the sight of Pam’s hives, which to be fair, had tripled since she left the office. “I can’t believe she did this to you.”

“She didn’t mean to. I’m sure it was an accident.” Her eyes drifted to the bags Kelly lugged in from the porch. “What’s all that?”

“This is everything we need to make you presentable for your date tonight.” Kelly beamed at her. “Just consider me your fairy godmother.”

“No. Kelly, come on. I can’t go out like this.” Pam gestured to her hive-covered arms, then her neck, and then her face. “I’m going to cancel. It was a terrible idea anyway.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Here.” Kelly rummaged around in one of her bags and tossed a pill bottle at Pam. “Take two of those.” She rolled her eyes at the look on Pam’s face. “It’s just Benadryl, Pam.  I promise. The non-drowsy stuff.”

If it had been any other day, Pam would have laughed in Kelly’s face and thrown the pills in the garbage but today she found herself shaking two of the pink pills into her hand. She didn’t think Kelly would try to poison her.

“No, Karen did though.” Oops. She must have spoken that last part out loud.

“Karen didn’t try to poison me,” she insisted.

“Uh-huh. I’m just saying, there’s a list in the break room of all of our co-workers’ food allergies. She knew you couldn’t eat pears.” Kelly waited patiently for her to take the medicine before she grabbed her hand and pulled her back over to the couch. “Now you just need to lay here with some ice packs and this eye mask, okay? Anything left after this we’ll just cover with make-up.” She busied herself getting Pam situated and then settled herself on the opposite end of the couch where she began painting her nails.

“So.” Kelly’s casually spoken word sliced through absolute silence about three minutes later. “How are you enjoying your fairy-tale romance so far?”

Pam scoffed. “Where’ve you been this week, Kel? There’s nothing fairy-tale about any of this.”

“Ugh, you’re so wrong. I’m surprised at you; I thought that as an artist, maybe you’d have some sort of imagination.”

She tried to ignore the subtle insult. “What are you talking about?”

“Pam, look at everything that’s happened this week.” Kelly paused dramatically. “You’re obviously Snow White and you’re working your way through the Seven Dwarfs.”

Her tone was so matter-of-fact that it took a full minute for Pam to process what she’d just said. She sat up slowly and peeled the eye mask from her face.

“Did you stop and have a few drinks before coming over here?” she asked finally. “Because you sound crazy right now.”

Kelly shrugged. “Do I though? Look at the facts. Let’s start with Toby.” She reached over and put the mask back to Pam’s eyes and gently pushed her back against the couch.

“What about him?”

“You said he was so nervous at dinner that he could barely handle a conversation. Some might call that Bashful. And then Chad, well, he’s an open and shut case of Sleepy. And Andy—“

“I did not go on a date with Andy,” she interrupted but Kelly was too far gone to pay any attention to her.

“You had lunch with him in the break room. That’s basically a date. And all he did was talk about how smart he is and doesn’t that sound a lot like Doc?”

“That’s a stretch,” Pam argued weakly. Maybe Kelly had drugged her because the more she talked, the more sense it was starting to make in Pam’s head.

“And then you had dinner with Roy, and my god, no offense because I know you almost married him and all, but do you know a bigger idiot than him? I mean, he let you get away, didn’t he? And did he even try to hit on you last night?” Pam shook her head. Roy had been on his best behavior the entire night.  “Pretty Dopey move if you ask me.” Kelly bounced up and down in her seat. “Oh! Oh! And you were taller than all of them at some point during the dates.” She clapped her hands gleefully. “See? Dwarfs.”

Pam didn’t want to admit that Kelly was right; but she wasn’t wrong either. Toby hadn’t been able to stand up straight because of his rollerblading injury. Chad was just short. Andy had insisted on sitting on the floor. Roy…

“Ha!” She pulled the eye mask off of her face again. “Roy is way taller than me,” she pointed out triumphantly.

Kelly wasn’t impressed. “Did you wear the heels I told you to?” Pam nodded. “And what did he say when he saw you in them?”

Roy had grinned at her when he stood in front of him in heels that brought her height to his chin instead of his chest. He had joked around with her, asking ‘am I shrinking?’  Pam opened and shut her mouth a few times as Kelly just looked smugly at her.

“How can you not get this yet?” Kelly shook her head as she capped her nail polish. “Okay, how about this? Karen is the Evil Queen. Obviously.”

“Kelly!”

“She is! She just tried to poison you, Pam. Maybe not with an apple, but this is basically the same thing. And do you know why she did it? Because you’re prettier than her. You’re the prettiest woman in the office now and everyone knows it. Everyone.”

Pam laughed incredulously. “Now I know you’re crazy because there’s no way you’d ever admit that someone was prettier than you.”

Kelly shrugged again. “This is your fairy-tale Pam, not mine. Anyways, you probably hadn’t noticed this part either because apparently you didn’t catch onto any of it at all, but I’m clearly the Magic Mirror.”

Pam’s head was spinning. “How?”

“Oh my God, you really don’t have any imagination at all, do you?” Kelly shook her head sadly. “The Magic Mirror was basically just a gossip, if you think about it. It knew everything going on in the kingdom and it told the Queen who the fairest in the land was.”

Son of a bitch.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Okay. Let’s say that maybe, maybe you’re right about all of this.”

“I am right about all of this.”

“Maybe you are. What does that even mean? What would happen next?”

“Next you go on that double date tonight. You’ve still got three dwarfs to get through.”

“And which ones are left?” That’s how little she knew of the fairy-tale in question; she couldn’t even keep track of all seven.

“Grumpy, Happy, and Sneezy.”

“Great.”

This really was Grandma Celia’s fault, she decided as Kelly prattled on about her predictions for the night and how Karen was going to be so mad when she saw how great Pam looked in the dress Kelly had brought her.

What if Celia had just read her Rapunzel instead of letting her read Flowers in the Attic? What if she’d watched a little more of The Little Mermaid and little less Beverly Hills, 90210? Would she still be in the middle of the most dramatic fairy-tale ever?

Except, she still didn’t even believe in fairy-tales.

Did she?

 

“How did you see my wish anyways?”

“Michael put them all in a box and told Ryan to bury them behind the building. Ryan left the box in his car.” Kelly shrugged. “I couldn’t just leave them there, could I?”

“So you buried them?”

“After I read them, yes.”

“And you read everyone’s?”

Kelly nodded. “We work with some real psychos, did you know that? And almost everyone lied when we were talking about what we wished for. Creed asked for a laminating machine, who does that? And I can’t even repeat what Meredith actually asked for. It had to do with three of the guys in the office and a hot tub. I mean, I’ll tell you if you want me to, but—“

Pam held a hand up. “I’m good.” Kelly nodded and went back to sorting through Pam’s closet, where she was separating items first into seasons and then into daytime and nighttime. Pam waited to see if she was going to say anything else and threw her hands up in frustration when she realized that for once, the other woman had nothing to say. “Kelly!”

“What?” She looked up from the green sweater she held in her hands. “This is cute, you should wear it more.”

“Yeah, we can talk about that later. Did you see what Jim wished for? Did he really write down a million dollars?”

“That’s not what he wrote down.” Kelly held up a different shirt to Pam and shook her head. “You need to throw this one out.”

“Fine, whatever.” She resisted the urge to snap her fingers in front of Kelly’s face. “What did he wish for?” she asked again.

Finally, Kelly turned her full attention to her. “See, the thing is Pam; I’d love to tell you that. Because his wish was a really good one, as far as wishes go.” She hesitated, smiling gently. “But I’m not going to tell you. I think you need to ask him yourself.”

Pam shook her head. “Like he’s going to tell me.”

“He will,” Kelly said. “I really think he will. But okay. If you ask and he doesn’t tell you the truth, then I will tell you.” She squinted as she seemed to debate what she’d just said with herself. “Yeah, I think that’ll be okay.”

“How will I know if he’s telling the truth?”

Kelly shrugged. “All I can tell you is he didn’t wish for a million dollars. You’ll know.”

That conversation with Kelly was the only reason Pam didn’t cancel the double date. She had wanted to, and she had tried, but not only was Kelly persistent, she was bossy, and she was used to fighting ten rounds with Ryan so she didn’t give up easily.

When she had called Jim to confirm that she was still planning on going and what time should she meet them at the restaurant he had sounded surprised, which, she couldn’t blame him for that, but she also thought she heard a touch of reluctance or maybe disappointment in his voice. She wanted to spend more time figuring that out but Karen had grabbed the phone out of his hands and cheerfully told her that yep, Cugino’s at seven and Mike will be so glad. Also, sorry about that whole allergy thing.

So she was going. Not because she cared about Mike Tibbets, who probably really was a nice guy, but because she needed to know what Jim had wished for earlier in the week.

Now that she believed in wishes, Pam forgot to watch for the meteorites that came crashing down over the next several hours. And there were a lot of them.

The first person she saw at the restaurant was Karen. Karen, whose eyes swept over her almost dismissively before widening when she realized that Pam’s hives from earlier in the day had all but disappeared and the few stubborn ones were carefully concealed by makeup.

“Hey,” she said cautiously. “Where are the guys?”

“Jim’s parking the car and I don’t think Mike is here yet.” Her eyes snapped back up to Pam’s. “He’s not ditching you; he called and said he was stuck in traffic.”

Pam blinked. “Okay.” They stood there for a minute without saying anything. She was about to ask Karen a dumb question about work just to break the silence but was saved as Jim strolled up to the two of them and asked why they were still waiting outside.

“We were waiting for you,” Karen said as she slipped her hand around his arm. “Should we wait for Mike, or should we go in?”

“He’s still about ten minutes out, let’s go in.” Jim turned to Pam and raised an eyebrow at her. “Looking pretty fancy there, Beesly. Can’t even tell you almost found yourself on the receiving end of Dwight’s epi pen earlier today.”

“That was never going to happen,” she vowed as she brushed past him and into the restaurant. She ignored the fancy comment but noticed how Karen’s grip had tightened to the point she imagined Jim had four crescent shaped marks on his arm.

It wasn’t that Mike Tibbets was an unattractive guy. He just wasn’t her type. Hell, Roy hadn’t even been her type so looks alone wasn’t enough to discount him. And Mike was perfectly fine to look at. Sure, he was about two inches shorter than her, and okay, if she was honest with herself, the receding hairline was a little distracting; but he had a nice enough smile and friendly eyes.

Eyes that were blue. It wasn’t his fault that she preferred green. Or that lately her daydreams involved dark brown hair long enough to twist her fingers into.

No, it wasn’t because of his looks that Pam knew she wasn’t ever going to see Mike again after this night. It was the sneezing. The constant, loud, messy sneezing.

“I’m sorry,” he’d said, sneezing before he’d even said hello to everyone at the table. “It’s a high pollen count day and my allergies are going crazy.”

Pam found herself smiling sympathetically at his red-rimmed eyes. “Allergies are the worst,” she agreed. Her eyes landed on Karen over the rim of her wine glass. “I had my own allergic reaction this morning.”

Karen at least managed to blush at that. “I really am sorry about that. I could have sworn the list in the break room said peas, not pears.” Jim snorted at this, and she glared at him. “I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said, directing her attention back to Pam.

She smiled as graciously as she could. “I’m sure it was an honest mistake.” She faced Mike again. “Hi, I’m Pam.” She reached her hand out, frowning when he leaned away from her.

“I don’t—“ Sneeze. “Shake hands—“ Sneeze. “Because I’m also allergic to most common soaps and lotions.” Two sneezes. “Also flowers. Are you wearing perfume?” He looked between Jim and Karen. “Didn’t you tell her I’m highly scent sensitive?”

Pam’s felt herself blush as Jim and Karen exchanged looks that appeared to be guilty; however where Karen looked slightly stricken, Jim’s eyes had a hint of smugness in them. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “They didn’t say anything.”

“That’s my fault, I completely forgot.” Jim’s expression still didn’t match the contrite tone of his voice. Judging by the look on Karen’s face, Pam realized she wasn’t the only one to notice. “Can you power through, Buddy?”

“I’ll try.” Mike sneezed again. “It’s really strong though.”

“I’m sorry,” she offered, though she had no reason to apologize. She barely remembered even putting her perfume on so she found it doubtful that she’d doused herself in it. “It’s Gardenia,” she added as an afterthought even though it absolutely didn’t matter. She took another sip from the wine glass that was too close to being empty and laughed nervously. “This is a really weird start to dinner, isn’t it?”

“Let’s start over,” Karen suggested brightly. “Pam, this is Mike, obviously. And Mike, this is—“ She was interrupted as Mike fell into another fit of sneezing.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again. “I really am.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his nose. “I hate to ask, but do you think you could maybe—“ He sneezed again. “Could you move your chair a little further that way?” He at least looked reluctant as he gestured away from himself. “Believe me, I hate asking that. It’s nice to meet you Pam, you’re even prettier than Jim said.”

“Thank you.” She gave him a small smile while inching her chair away from him, a move that only put her closer to Jim. Mike didn’t stop sneezing until her elbow was grazing Jim’s on the table. Displeasure had flickered over Karen’s features for a second before she lifted the corners of her mouth into a smile and Pam couldn’t help but wonder if it was from the compliment Mike had given her or her close proximity to Jim.

Their waiter came back, sparing everyone a couple of minutes of awkwardness.

Pam wasn’t sure if it was Mike’s drink request of “water, bottled only and no ice,” or that she was now sitting close enough to Jim that she could tell he was wearing something that smelled like a campfire, but she didn’t think twice about asking for a second glass of wine when Karen did.

Maybe she was crazy, but she felt like she’d need that second glass to get through dinner. Dinner that they hadn’t even ordered yet.”

When he wasn’t sneezing, Mike was a perfectly nice guy. He was funny enough that she laughed at his jokes, and he seemed interested when he asked her about her art (He would love to see some of her work but he was allergic to acrylic paints. Did she know they had trace amounts of formaldehyde in them?). As long as she stayed approximately a foot away from him, they were able to talk without his sneezing every two seconds. And while she wasn’t at all interested as he listed off every possible allergen at their table at that very moment, she was completely engrossed in the way the frown lines in Jim’s forehead deepened every time she reacted positively to something Mike said.

The whole chain reaction was fascinating, really. Mike would say something somewhat witty, Pam would laugh, Jim would either frown or try to make a funnier statement, and Karen would take another drink of her wine.

It was going to be a long night. Pam listened, fascinated, as Mike ordered the blandest, most boring item on the menu, and then managed to make it even less appealing with a laundry list of modifications that she was convinced made their waitress hate them all.

Mike grinned as the waitress walked away. “It’s obnoxious, right?” He laughed. “Believe me, I hate it as much as everyone else but I figure it’s either that or I don’t eat at all, and then everyone else at the table is left feeling really awkward.” He shrugged.

“No it’s fine,” she assured him. She shot a sideways look at Jim before continuing. “I just feel bad; we could have done something that wasn’t dinner if I had known it would be so dangerous for you.”

Mike shrugged. “Actually, dinner is the least dangerous. I can somewhat control things here. If we were say, mini golfing, I could get stung by a bee. Same for parks, plus the added unknowns of plant life and who knows what else? Don’t even get me started on bowling alleys.”

“So how do you date?” Pam shook her head. “That sounds rude, I don’t mean for it to, but like, how do you?” She leaned forward but immediately pulled back when his nose twitched.

“It’s pretty easy actually. At least, as long as I can get past the first date.” Mike chuckled as he reached into his coat pocket. It was the second time that day that someone had presented her with an epi pen. “The second date usually starts off with a practice session where I make sure she knows how to use one of these. From there, as long as one of us recognizes the signs of a fatal allergic reaction, we’re usually good to go. It’s the third date that I usually start to lose them at.”

Pam’s eyes were wide as she stared silently at Mike, who was oblivious as he tucked the pen back into his pocket. She looked around the table to see that Karen looked uncomfortable and Jim was struggling not to laugh.

“What happens on the third date?” She didn’t want to ask but she also couldn’t not ask.

Mike frowned slightly. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want to scare you off.”

“No, please. Tell me.”

“Okay. Well, if things progress to a third date and seem to be moving forward, one of the first things I need to make sure happens is that my date sees my apartment. And while by that point it should be a given that she’s not wearing any lotion or hairspray or perfume, really, chemicals of any kind, I always ask that she take a quick shower in my guest bathroom with an approved non-allergenic soap and then we’re good to go.”

Pam flagged down their server and asked for another drink. “And you don’t think that’s extreme?” she asked.

“No, it’s definitely extreme, but so is my dying from an allergic reaction.” Mike nodded at the glass that was just set down in front of her. “How much do you like your white wine?” he asked.

“Oh, I—“ she stumbled over her words. “I mean, it’s not like I drink it all the time, but I do—“

“If we started dating, you wouldn’t be able to drink it around me.”

She took a healthy sip before setting the glass down again. She had no idea what to say to that but they were interrupted again as their dinners arrived.

It wasn’t three minutes before Mike’s eyes began to water and he started coughing along with the occasional sneeze.

“Better get that epi pen ready,” Jim murmured in her ear. She kicked him under the table just as he asked Mike if everything was okay.

She really didn’t want to have to stab him with epinephrine.

Mike insisted he was fine, but a particularly violent sneeze shook the entire table and tipped Karen’s drink into her lap. Both Mike and Karen leapt up from the table, one headed toward the kitchen to complain about the parsley flakes in his plain pasta and the other to the restroom to make sure the merlot didn’t stain her dress.

Pam waited until they were alone before she turned and pinched Jim’s arm. Hard.

“Ow!” He pulled away with a frown. “What was that for?”

Pam tilted her head to the side as she glared at him. “It’s just weird that when you were busy telling me what a nice guy Mike was, you didn’t think to mention that the man is allergic to life.”

“That’s a little dramatic.” He dodged her before she could pinch him again. “You’re right, I forgot.” His eyes crinkled at the corners and for the second time that night, she doubted his sincerity. “But to be fair Pam, his allergies aren’t the most interesting thing about him.”

“What is the most interesting thing about him then?” she shot back. “I’d ask him but he can’t seem to carry on a conversation for more than seven seconds before he starts sneezing again.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wore perfume that he’s allergic to.”

“You didn’t tell me not to!”

“I thought for sure Karen would have mentioned it.”

“When Jim? When she was busy poisoning me?”

“Hey, she said that was an accident. Besides, she likes Mike. I don’t think she’d try to poison him.”

Pam shook her head. “I… this was a mistake. We both knew this was a bad idea. I should just leave.”

Jim grabbed her by the arm to keep her from standing up. “Wait, wait. Pam, come on.” He squeezed her elbow lightly before his hand slid down to her hand. “I’m sorry,” he said when she made no attempt to move. “I am. You’re right, this night has been weird, but I think it’ll be weirder if you just leave. Let’s just get through dinner and then if you want to leave, I won’t try and stop you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You know you can’t stop me, right? I could leave if I wanted to.”

“You could,” he agreed. “But we both know you won’t.”

She sighed because of course he was right. She wasn’t going to leave. “Fine,” she said reluctantly.

“Okay.” He let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair. “Toy trains.”

“What?”

“Toy trains,” he repeated with as much of a straight face as he could manage. “Mike has about five hundred of them. That is the most interesting thing about him.”

Pam nearly choked on her wine. “Stop it,” she admonished him gently. “Do I have to remind you that he’s your friend?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Come on, Pam. It’s pretty obvious that he and I aren’t exactly playing basketball every weekend. I barely know the guy.”

Pam studied him for a minute. “Why am I here?” she asked finally. “Why are we doing this?”

For the first time that evening she believed the look of regret that crossed over his face. “Karen,” he admitted. “She might have noticed that you and I have started talking again in the office and I don’t know; for whatever reason she hates that. And I guess she thought that my setting you up with one of my friends would prove something.”

“Prove what?” she challenged.

Jim gave her an incredulous look. “You know what.”

“Well, how’s that working out for you?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “If Karen was jealous, reasonably or not, why go to the lengths of introducing me to someone you don’t even know? Why not a friend that you actually like? Or at least one that I can’t accidentally kill? Why am I the one paying for your girlfriend’s stupid insecurities?”

“I don’t want you dating one of my friends, Pam.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and they just stared at each other.

“Right,” she said quietly. “Well, if we’re being choosy now, guess what? I don’t want you dating Karen but it’s not like either of us get any say in these matters, do we?”

“I didn’t mean—“

“You did though.” She laughed harshly and stared up at the ceiling as she tried not to cry in front of him. “You wanted tonight to be terrible. And this way, even if no great love match happened, at least you and Karen could go home at the end of the night and laugh about poor Pam and her terrible luck with men. Because at least you tried, right Jim? Karen asked you to find a friend and you put in the least amount of effort but you still look like you tried.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s really not,” she agreed. “It’s really not fair at all that you’re trying to use me to prove something to Karen.” She laughed again. “She’s not stupid. We both know what she sees at work. Neither of us has gotten any better at pretending. She knows, Jim. So again, what are we doing here?”

“Ugh, that took forever!” Karen was sliding back into her seat before Jim could answer her. “At least I managed to get most of the wine out. This is a new dress, I would have hated not being able to wear it again.” She looked between the two of them, understanding that she’d interrupted something as Jim pushed food around his plate with his fork and Pam all but chugged the rest of her wine. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Jim shook his head. “Did you see Mike on your way back to the table? He hasn’t come back yet.”

“Oh, no. But Pam can go look for him, right?” She smiled tentatively as she covered one of Jim’s hands with her own.

“She can’t,” Jim said, again speaking before Pam could even open her mouth. “She can’t get anywhere near him, remember?”

Karen’s hand moved again, a tiny fist clenched against the tablecloth. “What is fucking wrong with you?” she demanded quietly. She relaxed her hand and smiled weakly at Pam. “I swear, he’s been so grumpy with me all day long and I have no idea why.”

Grumpy. Pam was horrified as more tears sprang to her eyes at Karen’s use of adjectives. She had to get out of there before she made an even bigger fool of herself in front of either of them.

“You know what? I can’t do this.” She shook her head as the two of them stopped bickering long enough to look at her. “I’m still not feeling one hundred percent after this morning, and Mike has enough issues without my perfume or soap or whatever making things worse.” She slid her chair back. “I’m going to go. Please, just tell him I’m sorry.” She grabbed her coat and was gone from the table before either of them could say anything.

Once home, Pam wasted no time in changing into her favorite pajamas and rinsing all of the makeup off of her face. Her contacts came out, her hair went up, and she settled herself onto the couch; exhausted but too keyed up to sleep just yet.

So she texted Kelly. My date was Sneezy and Jim was 100% Grumpy. So much for fairy tales.

Kelly’s response was so quick that Pam wondered if she’d been waiting, phone in hand, for a play by play of her date. That sucks, I’m sorry. Did you ask Jim what he wished for?

In the crazed absurdity of the night, she had forgotten all about that. No. But it’s fine. It doesn’t really matter. The whole thing was silly.

It took a little longer for Kelly to respond this time, so Pam turned her TV on and found a rerun of Forensics Files. She jumped when Kelly’s next text finally came through.

It does matter. Promise me you’ll ask him.

If it mattered so much, why wouldn’t Kelly just tell her? She typed out several drafts of messages asking the same question in different ways but she knew Kelly wasn’t going to say anything. Kelly wasn’t one for keeping secrets; if she had wanted to be the one to tell her, she would have done it by now. She sighed and typed out one more message.

Okay. Good night, thanks for everything today.

Night Pam! Kelly signed off with a half dozen x’s and o’s.

Pam stared at her phone for a second longer before powering it off completely. She pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch over herself and cocooned into the cushions as comfortably as she could. It wasn’t long before the heaviness of the blanket and the soothing voice of the crime show’s host, along with the wine and Benadryl still coursing through her system, had her drifting off into a light doze that quickly turned into one of the deepest sleeps she’d had in recent weeks.

It was the best sleep she’d had in weeks, so she wasn’t exactly thrilled to be jolted awake several hours later by an insistent pounding coming from somewhere in her apartment. She frowned as she sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. The TV was still on and she reached for the remote to turn it off before finally waking up enough to realize that someone was at her front door. And they weren’t going away.

She stood on tiptoe to look through the peephole even though she already knew who was standing there because honestly, who else was it going to be? He stopped knocking as soon as he heard the locks unclicking. She hesitated, took a steadying breath, and then opened the door. “It’s two in the morning, Jim.”

“Yeah, it is.” He didn’t look much happier than she felt. “I’ve been trying to call you for two hours. You said you weren’t feeling well and then you didn’t answer your phone. I thought you were dead.”

“Dead?” She rolled her eyes. “A few glasses of wine and a handful of Benadryl aren’t going to take me out. I’m fine, I was asleep.”

“Oh.” Jim frowned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—“ He shook his head. “You said you hadn’t been sleeping well lately, so I just assumed—“

“Look. I’m sorry if I worried you, but as you can see, I’m fine, so…good night, I guess.” She started to close the door but he stuck a foot out to block it.

“I broke up with Karen.”

She sighed and pressed her head to the doorframe for a second before stepping back to look up at him. “Okay.” She let go of the door and turned on her heel, retreating back into her apartment.

She didn’t invite him but he followed her anyways. “Okay? That’s all you’ve got to say? Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you.” She stopped halfway into her living room and turned back to face him. “What am I supposed to say?” she asked finally, throwing her hands into the air.

“Ask me why.”

“No.” Pam shook her head incredulously. She didn’t know if she was annoyed with him because she was still half asleep, or because he was standing there in front of her, full of nervous energy and seemingly oblivious to the fact that they hadn’t ended the night on the best of terms. “Just tell me,” she said finally. “You’re the one who came here so you obviously have something to say.”

“You’re right. Okay.” He ran his hands through his hair before he finally stopped pacing and stood in front of her. “I shouldn’t have been with her, you know? I’ve been trying to pretend she was who I wanted, but I never really believed it. She was just…” he shrugged. “She was there. When you weren’t.”

“You’re the one who le—“

“I know.” Jim nodded. “I know. I left. But I also came back.” He sighed as his hands dropped to his sides helplessly. “I should have come back alone. I know that. These last few months haven’t been fair to any of us and I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting.”

Pam drew her lower lip between her teeth. “It wasn’t that you were mean or anything when you came back,” she said quietly. “But you were different. You are different,” she corrected herself. “And I hate it.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I have felt terrible every day since I came back. I knew coming back was going to be weird, and I knew that we weren’t going to be able to go back to how we were before I left, but I really didn’t think it was going to be this bad. I didn’t want it to be like this at all.”

“What do you want then?”

“You,” he said immediately. “God, Pam, it’s always been you. You have to know that. Karen knew. It’s why she’s been so weird lately and why she maybe tried to poison you today.” He grinned a little and she felt herself slowly thawing toward him.

“So you admit she did it on purpose?” Pam folded her arms across her chest, but allowed a small smile in his direction.

“I’m saying it probably wasn’t the accident she claims it was, no.” He took a step closer to her. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? I was really worried about you today.”

“I’m fine,” she promised. “But back to what you were saying. Jim, what does—“

“It’s always been you,” he repeated. “And I was too stubborn to give into that. Or afraid, maybe. I didn’t want to put everything out there and have you say no again. So I froze you out. And that was the wrong thing to do, I know that, but it was easy so it’s what I did. And I’m sorry.”

“I wouldn’t have said no again,” she said softly.

“I know.” He nodded. “I mean, I was pretty sure of that but then Karen was here and it was complicated and I was still being stubborn and kind of an asshole, so I didn’t do anything about it.” He cleared his throat as he took another step toward her. “But then, I don’t know Pam, things changed between us this week. Did you notice that? There was that moment of joking after Michael’s weird wish thing and it kind of seemed like we were the old us again. Didn’t it?” He looked relieved when she nodded in agreement.

“And then it got kind of weird again. I can’t explain it, but everything just felt so off this week.”

“How?”

He ducked his head as his neck turned a shade pinker than it had been. “Like, I’ve always noticed how pretty you are but this week, everyone else seemed to notice too and it drove me fucking crazy that they could all just say it to you and I couldn’t. And then all of a sudden you were paying attention to these guys and going out with them.” He shook his head. “You went out on a date with Toby,” he said ruefully. “That killed me.”

“It was just dinner,” she protested.

“Dinner with him and not with me. And I hated it. Kelly was coming in every day and talking about how you were getting out there and meeting new guys and I know, I know Pam, that I had no right to be jealous or mad but I was.” He laughed a little. “It’s completely ruined my week, if you really wanted to know. I’ve been so fucking frazzled over everything.” He made a face. “I hate that word. I’ve been so—“

“Grumpy?” she asked, her lips curving into a smile in spite of herself.

“Grumpy,” he agreed. “I’ve been absolutely grumpy all week long.”

Stop it. Stop it right now, Pam scolded herself. “He’s 6’3” for crying out loud. He’s not a fucking dwarf. Her heart practically stopped at his next words.

“And it’s just not that. I haven’t just been in a bad mood because you were moving on. I’ve felt…” he laughed, shaking his head again. “It sounds ridiculous but I’ve felt so small this week.”

“Small?” she croaked. Maybe she hadn’t heard him right.

“Small,” he said with a nod. “Jesus, you chose one of Ryan’s friends over me and I felt this big.” He held up his thumb and first finger, barely leaving a gap. “I didn’t think I was good enough and that sucked more than anything.”

She couldn’t breathe. “Well now you know how I felt with Karen around.”

“Well.” He was so close to her that he could only take a half step forward. “She’s not around anymore.”

“I didn’t want to go out with any of those guys,” she whispered as his fingers tangled with hers. “I just wanted you.”

“I’m right here.” He drew her into his arms and then released one of her hands, sliding his slowly up her arm, until his thumb stroked her jaw as he tilted her chin so her eyes were on his.

She nodded, setting her lips together in firm line as she debated her next move. And then she remembered. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“What did you write down? Earlier this week. I know it wasn’t a million dollars, so.” She took a deep breath. “What did you wish for?”

Jim smiled down at her, the first genuine smile she’d seen all night from him. “What if I told you that it was for this?”

She wasn’t letting him off that easily. “I’d have to ask what specifically this is.”

“Pam.” He bent his head and brushed his lips against her cheek, dangerously close to her lips. It took everything in her not to turn into his kiss. He leaned even closer, touching his lips to her ear.

“I just wanted to be happy,” he whispered as she clutched him even closer. If he noticed she was crying as she pressed her lips to his, he didn’t let on.

“If you give me another chance to make this right, I’ll be so happy.”