“You killed it in there Halpert.” Karen praised from the passenger seat of Jim’s car. Her hand easily finding Jim’s right arm and giving it a squeeze in emphasis before resting back in her black satin covered lap. 

Jim couldn’t help but give Karen a grin. He had killed it at the cocktail party. For God’s sake he had played one on one with Dunder Mifflin’s CFO The CFO! Slacker Jim would have never imagined, let alone cared about such a feat but this new non-slacker, more driven Jim sure the heck did. 

Or at least that was what he told himself. 

It wasn’t until just recently, or more accurately after Pam and Roy started dating again, that he had truly started to embrace this more evolved version of himself. Jim 2.0. It was painful to have to toss away the old Jim so quickly, like slamming a finger in a door, or stubbing your toe. The initial pain, blinding and relentless, made him nauseous but slowly the pain was beginning to ebb; leaving this new man in its place. 

Jim had assumed his old self had been dead and gone, long before Roy and Pam’s rekindled relationship. Lost to ‘I can’t’ and maddening indecision but he had been wholly surprised to feel a rapid resurgence of his past bad habits the moment a petit pair of arms wrapped around his neck. While the owner gave him a wide grin and told him how happy she was to have him back. 
So Jim did what any man would when faced with falling back into a destructive pattern, he pulled out a shield and prayed it would save him. 

This one just happened to be human. A small headstrong Italian one to be precise.

Now, he liked Karen. He did. But in no universe would he have ever asked out a coworker (unless they were a curly haired receptionist) or ever dated anyone similar to Karen’s personality. Extremely competitive and headstrong did not mesh well with him on a relationship level. Maybe friends, but definitely not lovers. 

But Karen liked him. Openly and un-afraid. So he grabbed on with both hands and refused to let her go. No matter how wrong they were for each other or how much the whole situation made him feel like the biggest asshole in existence.

Their relationship had gone through many changes as his and Pam’s simultaneously degraded. From almost platonic to tumultuous to where they were at now, stable and kinda sorta getting serious. Of course, that was only because he was most definitely not the same man he had been for over a quarter century. Apparently, Jim 2.0 is much more compatible with Karen than he realized.

“I guess I kind of did, huh?” He replied bashfully, though he knew he really had. 

Karen gave him a playful hit to the same arm she had grabbed earlier but this time kept her hand there. “Kind of? Better watch out because if you keep this up Halpert you and I will be dinning on the finest New York cuisine every night after a hard days work at corporate.” She told him, her voice playful yet edging painfully on hopeful. 

Unfortunately for Karen, the thought of New York and working for corporate brought up anything but hopeful wishing in Jim. If anything it made his stomach sink straight down to his fancy dress shoes in panic. Not even new evolved Jim could spin her words into anything other than an anxiety riddled what if. 

Jim let out a cough and a lame chuckle, when he realized he still hadn’t said anything. Which he was sure Karen could see straight through as a stall for time while he tried to formulate some kind of retort to the fact that she was happily imagining them living together, in New York and working for corporate, only a few months into their relationship. 

But just as the silence between them began to creep to an awkward and uncomfortable level his cell phone let out a shrill ring. Breaking the growing tension in the car and temporarily saving Jim. 

Karen untangled her arm from his, unamused, as he shot her a ‘what are you gonna do’ look and dug out his phone from his pocket. Saying a silent ‘thank you’ to what ever holy being was responsible as he did. Without looking at the caller ID, since it was already risky enough talking on the phone while driving, Jim answered his phone with an overly enthusiastic hello.

“Hey Jim, it’s Toby.” 

Toby’s monotone drawl filled Jim’s ears and while he was blissfully happy to have Toby call at this particular moment he was quickly filled with confusion as to why Toby would be calling him. In all the years of working with the man Jim could only remember one instance when Toby had called him and that was when Jim had been babysitting his daughter Sasha. Toby had wanted to let Jim know there was an accident on the highway and that he would be home late from his date. That was it. Never any other phone interactions. Hell, they only ever even talked at work when it pertained to work. That singular babysitting job had been a spur of the moment request and Jim was sure the only reason Toby had asked him was because he was the first person he ran into after his normal babysitter had canceled. 

“Uh, hey Toby. What’s up man?” He replied casually. Making sure to use Toby’s name since he could practically feel Karen’s questioning eyes piercing him. 

“I’m sorry to have to call you, especially since you’re not in Scranton and you’re with Karen and–”

“It’s fine Toby, we’re actually only twenty minutes or so outside of Scranton. So what’s going on?” He asked again cutting off Toby’s rambling. While he was eternally grateful for the phone call, there was only so much monotone mumbling that he could take. 

“Well you know how most of the office went to Poor Richards after work?” Jim silently nodded, remembering feeling incredibly jealous of the rest of the office as he heard the plan for a causal drink after work. At the time he would have hands down rather been hanging at a bar with them, than going to a stuffy cocktail party any day. But after he overhead Roy agreeing to join them, he happily changed his tune and left for the cocktail party without a single glance back. 

Suddenly, Jim realized he was still nodding and quickly answered Toby. “Yeah, uh, I think I heard something about it. Why, did something happen?” 

Toby paused and cleared his throat at the question, the sound making Jim increasingly more anxious as to what Toby might be calling about. What could have possibly happened that Jim had to be informed? Michael wasn’t even there, so how bad could it have gone? 

“Um, so there was in incident…with Roy.” Jim gripped the phone tighter at the utterance of his name.  “He and his brother, Kenny, I think, destroyed the bar.”

What the Hell! 

Jim could barely contain the fury that began to curl up his core, his imagination running rampant with wild scenarios of the two brutish men destroying bar chairs and smashing glasses in a drunken rage. All of which he had never put past Roy but also never imagined actually happening. 

“That’s insane. Why would they–” Then, just as he began to ask the question a more pressing thought came to mind. “Wait, is everyone okay?” 

“That’s…that’s why I’m calling.” Suddenly, all that burning fury extinguished and creeping dread filled its place. “One of the chairs, broke after he threw it…it’s leg bounced off the floor, and-uh, it-uh…” Jim had, had about enough of Toby’s fumbling answer. Driven by the dread quickly taking him over and the still present glare boring into the side of his head, Jim yelled out a commanding ‘TOBY!’ into his phone stopping the man mid bumbling sentence.

“It hit Pam. Knocked her unconscious.” Toby told him with uncharacteristic decisiveness.

 “The ambulance she was in just left for the hospital and the rest of us are heading that way. And…and I thought you should know…” He trailed off in a more typical Toby fashion. But Jim couldn’t be bothered to care, as his whole body had gone numb at the mention of Pam’s name. So much so that he no longer felt the cell phone pressed tightly to his ear, or the steering wheel he was currently white knuckling, or even Karen’s hand that had returned to his arm. Putting reassuring but demanding pressure on the limb. 

A thousand questions assaulted Jim in his numb state. Rendering him not just physically useless but mentally worthless as well. Try as he might Jim was unable to formulate any sort of coherent sentence, and it was only when he realized Karen was basically shouting his name that a hint of his verbal skills kicked back in. 

And what came out surprised even him. 

“W-why did you call…me?” What the Hell, man! He internally screamed immediately but unfortunately the words were already out and there was no taking them back. 

Toby paused, “well…it’s-it’s Pam. And uh-um…well you’re…you’re her emergency contact, Jim.”

Jim entered Scranton Regional’s emergency room like a man determined.  

Since the moment he had hung up with Toby and started the blazing path toward the hospital, going at least fifteen over the speed limit, he had said little more than a handful of words to Karen. Only telling her that they were heading towards the hospital and that Pam was hurt. She, of course, had taken the news as expected. Peppering him with question after demanding question. 

But Jim couldn’t even begin to answer any of the repetitive inquires when every mental capacity he had was solely focused on all the unknowns that currently pertained to Pam, and his reckless driving. 

What were her injuries? What happened to make Roy fly off the handle like that? Did it have anything to do with last May?  

And then there was the repetitive ones.  

Is she okay? Please, let her be okay. Is she okay? Please.let.her.be.okay.  

And on and on. Until the questions and begging blurred in his mind into a congealed mass of anxiety and worry. 

So without any hesitation or pause, and despite a now silent Karen by his side, Jim made his way through the emergency room entrance and into the lifeless waiting room just beyond it. There, Jim saw his diverse group of coworkers all slowly milling around. Some sitting in the painful sterile plastic chairs, others talking quietly amongst each other. 

“Jim!” Kelly yelled across the room as soon as she spotted him. Karen’s name noticeably absent from her greeting. “Oh my God, Jim, I’m soooo glad you’re here!” She said as she looped her arm with his, dragging him towards their small group. Leaving Karen, again, to follow along dutifully; the clicking of her heels suddenly sounding much more harsh than Jim remembered.  

“It was sooo crazy Jim! Roy just started screaming and then he and his brother tore Poor Richard’s apart!” Kelly’s hands moved rapidly with her talking, even the one still looped into Jim’s elbow. “And then Pam, oh my God poor Pam, that piece of wood just hit her out of nowhere! Like, how unlucky do you–” 

“Whoa, whoa, Kelly.” Jim said, gently interrupting her rampant speaking. While simultaneously detangled himself from her. “Maybe, um, Toby should tell me what happened?” He glanced at the others now gathered near him, Toby’s face standing out of the crowd. “Since he uh, he called me and all?” He prayed it sounded convincing because the last thing he could take at the moment was a long winded Kelly explanation. Much to his surprise, Kelly nodded in agreement with any argument, quieting down immediately.   

Toby’s usually forlorn face lifted in surprise as all eyes turned to him. “Oh, well, Kelly covered most of it, actually.” Toby rubbed the back of his neck in an anxious manner as he no doubt recalled details from the evening. “Roy, well, he blew up, smashed a few bottles but then he picked up a bar stool and smashed it on the bar, unfortunately the leg went flying and…it hit Pam as she was trying to leave…” Toby paused and for a brief moment a grief-stricken look passed over his face and Jim couldn’t help but feel his own anxiety reach a fever-pitch within him. 

“…and n-now we’re here…waiting to hear from the doctor.” It was clear to Jim that Toby wasn’t going to give him anymore specifics. Which in all honesty was probably for the best. Images were already beginning to terrorize Jim’s mind from just the scant details he had gotten thus far. 

“How long have you been waiting?” Karen’s voice suddenly chimed in from beside him. Causing Jim’s head to snap in her direction in obvious surprise. To be perfectly honest, between Kelly’s frantic rantings and Toby’s heart palpitating description, he had all but forgotten that Karen, his girlfriend, was even there.  

Fortunately for Jim, Toby was unfazed by Karen’s pragmatic question, answering her right away. “Uh, thirty minutes or so. Not long.” Both Jim and Karen nodded along to the information. Though their interpretations to said information couldn’t have been more different.  

Jim cleared his throat and swiped a hand down his weary face, still processing. “Has-uh anyone called her parents?” A flash of Pam and her mother hunched next to her desk, whispering quietly together, Jim’s name on her mother’s lips, entered Jim’s mind immediately. That had been a good day. Despite not getting to actually talk to the Mother of the women Jim was secretly in love with, that small moment had been extremely gratifying. For weeks after Jim had replayed the small interaction in his mind. Like an addict taking a hit, the memory of how Helene had whispered his name, like he was some big secret between them, sent his blood racing through his veins. The rush giving him an incredible high every-time.  

“Oh, they won’t be available.” Phyllis spoke up in her soft voice, commanding an unusual amount attention, “they’re on a cruise, until Sunday.” She tapered off and resumed her earlier silence.  

The knowledge that Pam’s parents were out of town, an unavailable, left Jim feeling strangely off kilter. And he knew exactly why, because if this had happened a year ago, he would have already known the location of Pam’s parents. Along with, probably, a thousand other important or inane details about the daily going ons of Pam’s current daily life.  

But as it was, Jim knew little to nothing about Pam lately, and this proved that. 

Shaking off the wrong feeling, filing it away to mentally dissect another time, Jim gave Phyllis a small nod of acknowledgement and resumed talking with his coworkers. 

“So, okay, then I guess…we wait?” He didn’t know what else to say. To ask. It was clear to Jim nobody out here knew anything else and until the doctor came out, no one would.  

The group sat in relative silence for fifteen minutes or so. Kelly’s incessant chatter in Ryan’s ear, the only noise amongst them. The quiet atmosphere was only broken when Karen gingerly leaned over and told Jim she was going on the search for coffee. 

“Do you want any?” She quietly asked.  

Through the past fifteen minutes Jim could tell she was getting increasingly restless. Between her bouncing knee and her palms rubbing divots into the satin of her dress, it became painfully obvious to him how much she did not want to be here.

“Um, sure,” he nodded. Granting her a reprieve. “Black, please.” He offhandedly told her. Not putting much thought into the words. Until that is, he happened to glance back at Karen, and found a suppressed look of annoyance blossoming on her pretty made up face.  

“I know how you take your coffee, Jim.” She snipped before quickly rising. Not bothering to wait for a reply as her heels quickly clicked away.  Jim watched Karen go until she was out of sight. He didn’t bother to hide the slightly stunned look on his face as he digested the small interaction and wondered how a plainly insignificant detail about how he takes his coffee could turn into yet another fight.  

You know why. He mentally chided himself. And he did. Because after almost five months of dating the small fact that he assumed Karen didn’t know how he took his coffee was a clear testament to the state of their relationship. At least from his end.  

Jim let out a sigh and pulled his attention away from the now empty hallway his girlfriend had just disappeared down and back to his lap. Where his own worrying fingers were still fast at work and had been since he sat down.  

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Phyllis told him in a low whisper. Her smaller softer hand gently covering his own moving ones as she spoke.  

Jim had always thought of Phyllis as the comforting aunt type. Someone you could confide in, tell your secrets too, share a dirty joke with. All the while knowing they were always rooting silently for you in the background.  

She had been that person through out his years of pinning for Pam and as was her personality it seemed she would be that person through the ups and downs in his relationship with Karen.  

“Yeah, she’s just going to get some coffee. Ya know, long night, gotta get that caffeine fix.” He quickly told her, hoping she wouldn’t read any further into his lame jokes. As she was prone too.  

Phyllis gave Jim a knowing smile and nodded her head. “Oh, of course dear.” Pausing, Phyllis dropped her head to glance at Jim over her glasses, her smile growing.

“But I wasn’t talking about Karen.” She told him before turning back to her husband, Bob Vance.  

And with that Jim knew definitively who Phyllis was now silently rooting for, and it clearly wasn’t Karen. 

When Jim was 10 his Grandfather, Papa Halpert, had a massive heart attack. 

The call rang loudly through the silent Halpert home close to midnight. Jim, along with his two older brothers and toddler sister piled quickly into their car, followed closely by their frantic parents, all of whom were still wearing the pajamas they had gone to sleep in along with loosely tied sneakers. The haste and urgency of the situation written plainly all over the family.

Jim remembered sitting for hours in those painfully uncomfortable hospital chairs, watching his Father pace, hands tugging at his prematurely graying hair. As his mother kept a brave smile on her face for her children, dutifully distributing snacks and drinks amongst the four and when they grew tired, finding blankets and pillows to give them some semblance of comfort. And ultimately, it did give Jim much needed comfort, so much so that young ten year old Jim began to think this whole emergent situation might have been a bit overblown. That his grandfather would be perfectly fine and they were worrying for no reason. 

It was only when his Father woke Jim up for a second time that night, this time with an anguished cry did Jim realize that everything would not be fine. That his grandfather would not be fine. Ever again. It was also in this moment that Jim Halpert realized that he hated hospitals and would never ever feel comfort in on again. 

……

Karen had been gone at least ten minutes now, “getting coffee”, which left Jim to silently wait on his own. Jim was under no illusion that Karen’s presence would be anything like his Mother’s comfort that terrible day in the hospital but it was better than nothing and right now the nothing was getting to him.

Especially considering, who he was at the hospital for. 

Jim let out a loud sigh as he checked the wall clock, again, only to find scarcely a minute had passed since he had last checked the plain device. He was starting to wonder if the thing was broken or just mocking him, when a man, who Jim could only assume was a doctor, clothed in a pristine white lab coat, blue scrubs and stethoscope, walked up to their small group. 

“Family and friends of Pam Beesly?” Jim immediately stood, ready to nod vigorously in response when he caught himself at the last second. Realizing that he was most certainly not family, despite how much he would love to be so, and as of late he hadn’t even been the later either. 

“Uh, well, we’re actually her-uh coworkers,” he took a glance around at the ragtag group who all seemed to be eyeing him weirdly. “But, we-uh…we’re friends too, I-I guess.” He told the doctor, who was now eyeing him same as Jim’s coworkers. 

“Okay, well coworkers works too.” The doctor told them, nodding in assurance to everyone as he continued. “So the good news is Ms. Beesly is conscious and stable.” Jim let out breath he hadn’t realized he was holding at the doctors words. Only to have it retract almost immediately after. “Unfortunately, after running several test we have determined that Ms. Beesly has a sustained a concussion as a result of her injury.” 

All at once the doctors voice started to fade out from Jim’s hearing. The man’s professional, well thought out words, slowly becoming a garbled mess of nonsensical sounds to Jim’s ears. Which was no doubt due to the sudden, an unyielding assault, of thoughts and worries that were currently laying siege to his poor mind. 

But one, particularly disturbing memory stood out amongst the rest. Taking hold of his subconscious with a firm grip and refusing to let go. The day Dwight had landed in this same exact hospital, with the same exact diagnosis. 

The injury his metaphorical nemesis had received that day almost, almost, had Jim feeling pity for the beet loving man. Seeing Dwight, moonfaced and so out of character as he bumbled through work and later into all those medical tests, pleasant, personable, vulnerable; had thrown Jim for a loop.

Especially since, if there was one thing that Jim Halpert had learned above all else since working at Dunder Mifflin: Dwight K. Schrute was a man who was neither pleasant or personable but he was especially not vulnerable. Ever.

So now, knowing that Pam had to undergo those same tests and possible adverse effects to her mind struck a nerve of worry in Jim that had not been hit since prior to casino night. When all he did was worry non-stop about Pam and all things Pam related.

“Will she have to stay the night?” Phyllis spoke up suddenly, pulling Jim from his worried thought. 
The doctor politely shook his head in response. “No, she will be able to head home tonight. The only thing we ask is that Ms. Beesly have someone to watch her tonight.” The doctor, who Jim hadn’t bothered to catch the name of, chanced a very obvious glance around the group, before continuing on. “And since her family is not available we would ask that one of you stay with her, to keep an eye on her and any changes in her injury.” 

All eyes in the room seemed to naturally swivel in Jim’s direction. Some unconsciously, some, not as much. 

Jim, to his credit, ignored the blatant looks and glances and played oblivious to the doctors request. As if he wasn’t the first and most obvious choice to take and care for Pam, because now, after all that had happened and all the time that had passed he wasn’t so sure he even was the best choice to take care of Pam.

Despite what his coworkers seemed to think. 

Kelly was the first to speak up, “well Ryan and I can’t watch her. We’re, uh…” Kelly paused, her dark eyes hurriedly bouncing around the room as she no doubt concocted a thinly vailed excuse to get out of helping her injured coworker. “…W-We’re going to have breakfast with my parents in the morning, yeah!” Jim watched Ryan’s eyes grow large before immediately turning to his girlfriend. “So we totally have to get to bed early tonight. Real early.” 

Jim almost rolled his eyes as Kelly added an obnoxiously fake yawn to her lie. Instead choosing to happily indulge a smidge at the look of sheer terror on Ryan Howard’s face. While Jim knew what Kelly had said was a lie now, he also knew within a few short hours, or minutes, she will have convinced herself of what a good idea the lie actually is. Which means, however Ryan had envisioned his morning going, maybe sleeping-in, late brunch, lazy morning sex, he could now look forward to a soul crushing breakfast with the Kapoor’s. Filled with future demands of marriage proposals, babies and un-achievable career advancements. 

 “It’s Bob and I’s weekend with his daughter.” Phyllis politely said next. Passing a shy smile around the group as she did.

Unlike Kelly, Jim knew Phyllis wasn’t selfishly lying. While she didn’t speak very much about Bob’s daughter, Rebecca, mainly due to the cameras hanging around all the time, and Bob’s vengeful ex-wife, or so he had heard. He knew how much she loved the ten year old girl and every time the couple had their weekend or holiday with her she couldn’t stop beaming for days. 

But he knew that if it came down to it, if know no one stepped up, Phyllis would sacrifice her time away from her step daughter for Pam; because that’s just who she was, and that fact sent a curl of guilt stab through his gut.

Because, it should be you taking care of her. He subconsciously knew but still didn’t want to admit it, yet. Or ever. 

Jim guiltily turned his gaze from Phyllis toward the remaining group member, Toby, just as the man began to awkwardly shuffle in place. His nervous nature personified by the solemn tilt of his head and shoulders. While one of his hands dug deeply into his pocket and the other rubbed his thinning hairline worriedly. 

It was right then that Jim knew he couldn’t -no wouldn’t- let the timid, soft spoken man take Pam home. Let him take care of her when she was vulnerable, because Jim knew Toby would and desperately wanted too. The shy glances and sputtering every time Pam looked his way spoke volumes to Jim. 

Because he knew all to well what being in love with Pam Beesly did to a man.

So instead of giving Toby the time to gain a smidgen of courage, Jim spoke up, mustering his own small amount of courage. Laying claim to the task of caring for Pam, like he should have, the moment the doctor had spoken, because out of everyone present it should be and would always be Jim stepping up to such a job. No matter what ex fiancés or girlfriends stood in the way. 

“I’ll do it.” All eyes focused on him again. “I’ll watch Pam tonight.” He told them, determination and rightness filling his veins for the first time in months, maybe years.

The moment of foreign empowerment that Jim felt along with the approving smiles of his friends and Pam’s doctor was unfortunately short lived. Because not a moment after his brave outburst, the bravest thing he had felt in a long time, a familiar voice broke the pleasant atmosphere around them. 

“You’ll what?!” Karen yelled, standing in the open doorway to the emergency room waiting area, coffee in hand, a look of horror written plainly on her face. 

......

“Karen, its just for the night.” 

No response. 

“She has no one else. Her family are out of town and Roy’s obviously not an option.” 

Still, no response.

“Would you rather I just left her alone? With a concussion?”

This time Jim received a short, pointed glare over her shoulder along with the usual silence. 

It’s something at least. He thought morosely. 

Feeling slightly emboldened by the small acknowledgment, Jim moved a step closer to his furious girlfriend. “Look, Karen, she’s hurt and nobody here can watch her.” Jim cast an inconspicuous look across the room at Toby’s hunched form, knowing full and well the timid man would gladly take over Pam’s care, but Karen didn’t need to know that. “And since I have no reason to say no, it just makes sense – ”

Karen struck suddenly, turning on him, eyes blazing with unshed tears, “no reason to say no? No reason, Jim?! You have every reason to say no. You just won’t…” the anger seemed to slip from Karen all at once and she deflated some, “…or can’t. I’m not sure which.”

Jim felt his breath catch at that word, can’t. It held so much meaning, more than Karen could ever know, and the fact that Karen chose to use it now wasn’t lost on Jim. It seemed very serendipitous, in a twisted sort of way. 

“It was a good night, too.” Karen said, her arms curling around the jacket she had taken off earlier. Her demeanor completely defeated now. Which was something Jim was very unaccustomed too. Even in those five nights of arduous talking, Karen never lost her tough spirit. Never once did she completely give up. She may have come close a few times and in those moments Jim saw his possible freedom, or doom, he wasn’t sure, but ultimately she never did. Instead, she dug in, clinging to the good, albeit small, aspects of their relationship, convinced they could overpower the overwhelming dark spots. 

Clearly, she was now realizing her mistake.

“I-I just finally felt like we were a real couple. Like we actually stood a chance, or something. I’m such an idiot.”

Unable to watch the usually strong woman in front of him crumble to pieces, Jim reached out and grabbed her hand. Hoping to reassure her, and possibly himself, that there was no need for her to fall apart more than she already had. 

“Karen, you’re not an idiot. It has been a really, really good night.” Karen’s eyes met his, tentative hope beginning to run deep in the dark pools. “And I promise, it’s just for tonight.” 

All the faith Jim had just seen in Karen’s eyes seemed to dry up in an instant with his words. Her hands untangling themselves from him, anger taking hold as she shrugged on her coat.

“It’s never just anything when it comes to her, is it Jim? Just a coworker, just a friend, just a crush, just a kiss!” Jim felt himself immediately reeling from Karen’s harshly accurate words and as he silently watched her gather the remainder of her things. Her purse, phone and mostly empty coffee cup. Before making turning back towards Jim’s still shocked silent form. He couldn’t help but be somewhat in awe of Karen. She had somehow shockingly boiled down all their problems to a few quick, simple words. 

“Phyllis offered me a ride home, so I’m going to go.” She told him in a much more subdued voice than just thirty seconds before, like all of a sudden she cared that all eyes in the room were on them. Pausing, Karen chewed a thin lip between her teeth before she spoke again. “I hope Pam feels better…truly. Roy’s a jerk, and…I may not like her but she didn’t deserve to be hurt…” 

Jim knew she had more that she wanted to say but couldn’t. He knew that, because he was experiencing the same exact thing. Dozens of words were caught in his own throat, unable to come forth, unable to sooth Karen’s fears, unable to stop her from leaving and ultimately unable to save their relationship. 

Because Karen was right; when it comes to Pam, it’s never just. 















 








 

Jim tried not to be nosy as he passed hospital room after hospital room, but natural curiosity seemed to win out every time. Leading his head to turn slightly and peer into the rooms with an ajar or even fully open doors. He caught a brief heated argument, between a mother and father who stood over their injured child’s bed. The child, who Jim assumed was Ricky based on the name being volleyed loudly around the room, laid there helpless, leg hanging elevated in a bulky cast, while his parents threw blame over whose fault the injury was. 

Jim couldn’t help but pity the young kid, after all, he knew a little something about being subjected to intense conversations about past actions and whose to blame. The only difference he tended to be the one being blamed and not just a trapped observer. 

Another few steps and another room revealed itself. 

This time the scene was much more somber and less volatile. In the room lay an obviously frail older man, attached to multiple wires and monitors, dutifully performing whatever task they had been entrusted to do, and amongst the sterile medical equipment sat an equally fragile looking older woman, hands entwined with his speaking lowly. To low for Jim to hear as he walked slowly passed; but he could imagine. 

And he was weirdly envious of the whole display.

Obviously, not of the man’s poor health, but of the blatantly deep connection that the ill man held with the woman at his side. Jim longed for something like that. He thought he had it once. Saw it, clear as day. He saw the house, the kids and growing old with the woman he loved. Unfortunately, all it took was an ill fated confession in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot to destroy all of those lucid dreams. 

It was in that moment, rubbernecking in a hospital hallway, that Jim had never felt farther away from those dreams. 

Jim let out a small sigh and forced himself to shake off the nostalgia and continue on his way. There would be time later to delve painfully into all his broken hopes and dreams, especially since he was now more than likely single again, but at present Jim had somewhere to be. 

After Karen left with Phyllis and Bob, the rest of the Dunder Mifflin crowd followed. Everyone left with parting well wishes and promises to call and check up on Pam the following day. Leaving him alone to wait, again, in the uninviting hospital waiting room. 

Thankfully this time Jim didn’t have to wait long. A nurse named Nancy, wearing navy blue scrubs, a warm smile and a practical short hair style came to retrieve him just thirty minutes later and escort him to Pam. 

He was instantly nervous. He had all the classic signs; nerve inducing sweat began to gather in unmentionable places, hands shaking so much they had to be shoved into his pant pockets but most of all he was immediately second guessing the whole idea of being Pam’s overnight caregiver. 

Because honestly what had he been thinking! 

Which was what had initially started the curiosity filled game of peering into other patients rooms, a quick and easy way to distract himself from all of the self destructive thoughts bouncing around his head. Unfortunately for Jim, the game could only last for so long and clearly only distract him so much and if the stopped nurse Nancy was any indication his game was officially over. 

Nurse Nancy waited by room 610 with the same pleasant smile on her face that she had, had when she greeted Jim just minutes before. The smile did not waver for even a moment as she watched Jim drag his feet the remaining distance it took to reach her. Jim wished he could say the same for his own facial expressions, but sadly he had no doubt that in the last ten feet she must have seen a full gamut of emotions play across his face. 

She’s probably going to tell me to take a hike. That I’m clearly not fit to take care of Pam. He thought nervously, trying to reign in the look of utter panic that he was currently wearing. 

“Here we are Mr. Halpert. If I could discuss just one thing with you before we go in.” She pleasantly said. 
Jim ran a sweaty palm down the back of his neck and tried to straighten his spine of the present hunch it had developed. 

Here it is. What on earth was I thinking volunteering for this job?! Phyllis should be here, or Toby, God…even Toby wouldn’t be getting this speech!

“It’s very common for concussion patients to act differently than their normal selves. I promise it’s only temporary but the change can be quite jarring to the family and friends who are taking care of them.” 

Wait…what? He thought, utterly surprised that he hadn’t just got a complete dismissal from the kind nurse for his obvious nerves and lack of experience.

Then suddenly that sickeningly familiar memory of Dwight acting as if he had his body snatched, being a kind, helpful, funny and all together normal human being, flashed back through Jim’s mind. 

There’s no way…

“How bad?” He blurted out without really thinking. All of his momentary insecurities put aside, Jim was now only worried about the woman behind that door, and not of his crippling self-doubt of the current situation.

Nurse Nancy pulled out her patented smile again and gave a small shrug, “I’m not familiar with Ms. Beesly’s behavior before her injury but she has been displaying some…slightly aggressive behavior. And I’m assuming that is out of the norm for her.” She gently told him. Which at this point Jim assumed was the only way she spoke to people. 

Jim could only give a bewildered nod as he digested the latest piece of information in the ever lengthening list of this evenings strange events. The mere idea that the Pamela Morgan Beesly could ever be described with the word aggressive, was almost damn near laughable to Jim. He had know Pam now over three years and the most aggressive he had ever seen her was when she was wrestling a trapped piece of paper out of the Office’s ancient copier. Which was one of the things he admired and simultaneously hated about Pam the most. 

Her calm, still waters attitude had no doubt by now saved Michael his job at least a dozen times over. But while her level headed gentle personality benefited those around her, it only seemed to hamper Pam’s own life. 

Jim had no doubt in his mind that if Pam had been even a bit more assertive or bold in her choices that Roy would have been long gone years ago, her schooling and art wouldn’t have been pushed aside and maybe, just maybe the two of them would have somehow been able to make a relationship work beyond friendship. That is of course, if Pam had an actual feelings for him worth pursuing further than a stolen kiss in the dark of the office. Which at the current moment he doubted he would ever know

Clearing his throat and mind simultaneously, Jim brought himself back to the present where he was standing outside a hospital door with an expectant nurse Nancy, waiting for him to acknowledge what she had told. “Um, so will this affect how I-uh take care of her?” 

Smooth Halpert. He thought, with a mental slap to his forehead.

“No, not at all. She just might be just a bit more of a handful, but ultimately the after care is the same.” Jim nodded, relieved. “So, ready?” Nurse Nancy asked and while Jim felt anything but ready to see Pam, for a myriad of reasons, her being recently injured by a flying beer bottle just one of them, he nodded again. 

Nurse Nancy gave a quick knock on the door, before announcing herself and entering, not bothering to wait for the expected ‘come in’ from its occupant. Jim would have found that behavior slightly rude if not for the sudden sound of a painfully familiar voice lobbing obscenities into the air in a shrill tone he had never heard before. 

“Will you stop poking me with that damn needle?! Where the Hell did you learn to take blood, anyway? A back ally?!” 

With a curtain still separating him and the belligerent yelling, Jim would have bet his life on nurse Nancy having accidentally entered the wrong room. That the patient beyond the cloth barrier was in no way shape or form his Pam. That despite the earlier warning there was absolutely, positively, no.freaking.way–

Plain blue fabric swished violently as the rest of room 610 was revealed to Jim. Suddenly, and without warning, he felt his heart seize and his jaw drop as almost feral green eyes paralyzed him in place and a harsh gravely voice took the breath out of his lungs. 

“What are you doing here?”