“Seriously Pam! Get out of here. You’re going to be late. We’ll be fine!”

“I know, it’s just, it’s my first day back and well, it’ll be hard to be there without you, again.”

Pam’s eyes turned down for a second as she put her keys in her purse. At the table Jim was holding Cece and feeding their four-month old daughter a bottle. His left leg was propped up on a chair in a walking cast.

“Hey,” he said gently. “This isn’t like last time. When you come home tonight, we’ll be here waiting for you.”

“I know,” Pam sighed. “I just wish we could get Cece into daycare sooner.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jim agreed. “Maternity leave in this country sucks.”

“You sure you can handle her by yourself for two weeks?” Pam still looked worried. “I mean what with the accident and your leg still healing and all.”

Jim shifted Cece in his arms to get a better angle for the bottle. “Pam, it was just a freak accident playing basketball. I mean yeah, I didn’t like breaking my leg, but we’re getting through it. And by taking FMLA for these two weeks I can stay home with Cece until we can get her into daycare and I can get back to work. Kind of a blessing in disguise really. Now seriously, you need to get going.”

Several hugs and kisses later, Pam was out the door and heading to work. Cece finished her bottle and Jim set a cloth over his shoulder to burp her. It didn’t take long for Cece to let out a small baby burp. Jim brought her back down to his front and cradled her.

“Nice one Kiddo,” he beamed.

Cece smiled up at her father before promptly spitting up in his arms covering her onesie and Jim’s arms.

Jim let out a sigh as he brought his leg down off the chair. “Nice aim,” he said ruefully.

He carefully carried Cece into the nursery. Jim smiled at the mural of animals Pam had painted on the walls as he set his daughter down on their changing table. In short order Cece was cleaned and had a fresh diaper.

“Well what do you want to do today?” Jim asked Cece as he made his was out of her room. For her part Cece babbled up at her father and waved her arms in his face. “Watch TV?” Jim said for her. “Great idea.”

Taking care to go easy on his injured leg, Jim and Cece made their way to the living room. Sitting down in his easy chair, Jim grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

“Hey there Eeyore,” Jim said to the small grey rabbit hopping through the room. He smiled as he recalled when they’d brought the rabbit home. Pam’s insistence she really was a dog person and that we’ll just try out a rabbit for a week had really meant that, now they had a rabbit hopping around the house.

Scrolling through the channels Jim settled on a nature documentary. David Attenborough narrated the drama of a pride of lions living and hunting on the African savannah. Jim gently bounced Cece in his arms and let her suck on his finger. It didn’t take long for the combination of an English accent and gentle rocking to lull Cece to sleep for her first nap of the day. Again, taking care, Jim brought Cece to her crib to let her sleep. A warm smile bloomed across his face as he left the room.

Walking back down to his chair he pulled his laptop over to him and started scrolling through Facebook. It was filled with the usual kinds of status updates and pictures from friends and family. Jim chuckled to himself when he saw the running commentary Kelly kept up on her Wall.

Kelly Kapoor is so totally over this day already.

Kelly Kapoor is so happy that Ryan came back to the annex. He only got a Coke but I know he was looking at me.

Kelly Kapoor is wishing she didn’t have to deal with these stupid people on the phone.

Kelly Kapoor is bored.

Kelly Kapoor is thinking of switching her nails from pink to HOT pink.

Scrolling further down he saw Pam had updated her status as well.

Pam Halpert is missing her baby.

The simple words sent a pang through Jim’s heart. He knew how much she loved to be with their daughter. The fact that they still had two weeks before their daycare slot opened up and his injury had put a lot of stress on her to take care of them both. He glanced up from his computer screen. The documentary was still on the TV. Eeyore the rabbit had hopped into his cage and had been munching on some hay before he flopped onto his side to rest. An idea struck him and he scrolled over to open a new Note on his Wall. He grinned as he started to type.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 1. The expedition has begun! Small Human has been fed and the toxic waste that built up during the night has been disposed of. No fires have popped up in the domicile, yet. Small Rabbit is laying comfortably on his side, so I shall presume there are no gas leaks seeping through the walls. Things are calm and quiet, should I be nervous? This will require further investigation whist hunting the elusive prey known as frozen waffles.

He published the note and sat back in his chair. In his mind’s eye he could hear the small giggle Pam would let out followed by the bemused look she’d send him. He could almost hear her calling him a dork as he got up to make his plate of waffles.

_____________________________________________________________________________

At her desk Pam had just finished updating her Facebook status. Most of her co-workers had stopped by to welcome her back to work in some way. Michael by asking if she needed any help with her breast pump since Jim wasn’t there. His comments had Kevin ask if it was true that her breasts were more sensitive than before Cece was born. Dual laser glares had sent both of them on their way. Angela peaked over their partition to comment that her return to work was at odds with her motherly duty of raising her daughter. Pam just turned away from the accountant. Phyllis and Oscar presented her with a bag full of yogurt drop packets for Cece. She assured them she was thankful, but that Cece wouldn’t be ready for solid foods for a while yet. Dwight set a small bottle on her desk that he told her was filled with otter milk. Not for Cece to drink, but to rub on her chest as cure-all for any form of cholic. Pam waited until Dwight was out of sight before tossing the bottle in her trashcan. Toby had simply smiled his sad smile at her before he walked as quickly as he could back to his desk to avoid Michael. When Kelly bounded in, dragging Ryan behind her, she started gushing over the maternity clothes Pam was still wearing. Pam’s insistence that the top was very comfortable fell on deaf ears as Kelly informed her that she’d take Pam out soon for some ‘hot Mom clothes.’ Finally, the parade of co-workers ended leaving Pam tired and already feeling run-down.

She took a deep breath and rubbed her temples to try and dispel the headache already starting to form. Standing up, she made her way to the kitchen. She took her teapot out of the cabinet. After washing it, she made herself a mug of tea and returned back to her desk. Her Facebook page was still up. Absentmindedly she clicked the refresh button.

“What’s this?” she said to herself when she saw Jim had published a new note.

A smile bloomed on her face. The warmth of her tea couldn’t match the glow now growing in her heart.

Pam shook the rain off her umbrella as she walked in the front doors at the Scranton Business Park. The thunderstorm showed no signs of letting up. Driving rain had almost turned the parking lot into a lake. Combined with strong gusts of wind, it had made for a harrowing drive. She quickly made her way upstairs and unlocked the doors. It was surprisingly easy to return to habits of being the first to arrive at Dunder-Mifflin. She and Jim would normally spend the time fixing tea and coffee while having uninterrupted time to plot their latest prank. Today however she was assaulted by memories of the years before she and Jim became a couple. She set her coat down across her chair and turned to face her old position at the reception desk as the memories played in her mind. Times where she had lost herself in her thoughts and hid in a world of denial and behind the mask of comfort rather than trying to grasp what her heart truly wanted.

As she made her way to the kitchen to brew her morning pot of tea she smiled at the changed woman she now was. No longer the office secretary, but actually pulling her weight with sales. Married to a man who loved her in a way she’d never truly thought possible and mother to a sweet daughter. Her small but wonderful family that had still been asleep when she left the house. It was only the booming of a lightning strike so close it rattled windows that snapped her out of her reverie.

As she sat down at her desk, Pam arrived just in time to see Michael burst in.

“Pamster!” He said enthusiastically. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Jim have a pet hamster? Wonderful things hamsters. Do they really dance like on that one website?”

Pam groaned internally at the memory of the hamster dance website Michael had found yesterday. “It’s a rabbit, not a hamster Michael,” she said patiently.

“Really?” Michael put a confused look on his face. “I could have sworn Jim’s thing yesterday said hamster.”

“Nope, it’s definitely a rabbit,” Pam said as she turned on her computer and picked up her day’s call sheet.

“Huh!” Michael's expression shifted to one Pam knew he used when he wanted people to think he was deep in thought. “You think there’s a dancing bunny website?”

“I don’t know Michael,” Pam was now tuning him out as she started jotting down that month’s discounts.

Fortunately for her, Michael chose that moment to retreat into his office. Breathing a sigh of relief, she started organizing her work for the day. The rest of her co-workers filed in behind her as she got to work. One of the things Jim had taught her about sales was to not jump in and try to pitch a sale the first thing in the morning. ‘Look around,’ he’d said one morning ‘What’s everyone doing? Setting up their computers, getting coffee, things like that. The last thing a client wants is someone bugging them first thing in the morning. Give them an hour or so before you start calling. Let the drudgery of the modern American workplace take hold and lull them into a nice bored stupor, then make your pitch. Even if it’s just paper, breaking up the tedium for even a little get you far.’

Heading her husband’s advice, Pam looked down her call sheet and dug some markers out of her top desk drawer. She started color coding the names of people and companies on her list. Green for returning customers and thus guaranteed sales. Yellow for favorable potential customers who had asked her to call back. Orange for potential clients that she felt would need some extra attention as they’d been hesitant on earlier calls. Red for brand new contacts that she’d never interacted with before.

She opened up a contact information program she kept on her computer. It had the names and pertinent information for all her clients. She’d also taken some lessons from Michael and included what personal information she’d gleaned from her customers. As annoying as her boss was, he was a good salesman and the personal touches he included had garnered many clients over the years. She picked up her phone to make her first call of the day when without warning, the power cut out.

Dwight was on his feet in an instant. “Nobody panic!” he shouted while holding a flash light in front of his face. “We have fifteen minutes to wait for the power to return. After that emergency measures go into place. I’ll lead you all to the shelter and we can start the process of dividing up the rations.”

“What’s going on? Whoa!” Michael emerged from his office and promptly tripped over Jim’s empty chair.

“The power’s out,” Pam spoke up. “Probably because of the storm.”

“Does that mean we can go home,” Stanley droned from his chair.

“No!” Dwight shouted. “No one’s going home yet. For all we know this could be an EMP strike. The roads will be death traps. We’ll stay here for another...” he checked his watch. “Fourteen minutes and fifteen seconds and then as I said before, the shelter.”

“I’m not going to any shelter,” Stanley intoned.

As the two salesmen started to bicker, Pam pulled out her cell phone. Seeing that she still had reception she punched in Jim’s number to text him.

Power’s out here at work. Dwight thinks it’s an EMP attack. Ideas?

Hitting send, she sat back to watch the tennis volley like argument between Dwight and Stanley. To her disappointment she didn’t get a reply back before the power returned ten minutes later. Frowning at the waste of perfect pranking opportunity she settled down to get to work.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. She ate with Kelly who gushed over Jim’s journal entry from the previous day.

“I mean that was really funny. Not like it a ha ha ha way funny, but a more funny that makes you think funny, you know what I mean? I mean like, what would it be like if Jim and the baby were really out there on an expedition in Africa. They could get eaten by like a tiger or something. Or maybe they could ride around on elephant and be safe. Wouldn’t that be fun? Just cruise around and have the elephant pick everything up for you. But there’s no way I’d live in like a tent or something. Oh! Do you thing they have hotels where they do safari’s? That would be like the only way I'd ever go on safari. Oh! Oh! Oh! Wouldn’t an African wedding just be like the best? I know you and Jim had that Niagara Falls thing at the church and all, but I mean like really, you guys drove all the way up there and didn’t even see the waterfall. That’s why an African wedding would be so much better, there’s no way you can get away from it.”

Pam nodded in all the right places all the while thinking tomorrow, she might try to eat with Phyllis. She finished her meal and walked back towards here desk. Phyllis caught her eye as she passed the other woman’s desk.

“He’s up to it again sweetie,” Phyllis said with a gleam in her eye.

Pam rolled her eyes but still smiled. She pulled up Facebook as soon as she was seated at her computer. Sure enough, a new entry was posted on Jim’s Wall.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad Day 2. Slight setback to the expedition today. Upon waking it was discovered that the electric power to the domicile was no longer functioning. Small Rabbit did not seem to mind and kept hopping over in hope of carrots. Small Human also appeared non-plussed with the situation. There was really only one thing that could be done, Small Human and I took a nap. Power has been restored and now I must go in search of sustenance. The beast known as grilled cheese shall soon feel my wrath.

She laughed to herself before clicking the Like button and went back to work.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Jim! I’m home!”

“In the living room honey!”

Pam hung up her coat and tossed her keys in the bowl they kept on the counter for their car keys. She dropped her bag on one of the chairs at the kitchen table and walked to the living room. Jim was sitting in his easy chair watching TV while holding a sleeping Cece.

“Hey,” Pam said softly as she came in the room.

Jim’s face lit up at the sight of her. “Hey yourself.” He looked back down at their daughter. “Cece,” he whispered. “Mommy’s home.”

Gently, Pam took Cece from his arms and settled on the arm of the chair. “So, master hunter. How did your grilled cheese hunt pan out?”

Jim smirked back at her. “Surprisingly well. Though there was one small snag.”

“Yeah?” Pam’s eyebrows shot up.

“Indeed,” Jim reached over to the other side of the chair and picked up the two plates that were resting on the side table. “I think I overdid the hunting. Instead of one sandwich, I bagged two. Know anyone who’d be willing to share in the labors of my toils on the game trail?”

Pam looked down at the grilled cheese sandwiches resting on the plates and a wide grin bloomed on her face. “I think I can help with that. Let me put Cece to bed first.”

She soon had Cece tucked neatly in her crib and came back downstairs. Jim had shifted to the couch. She gladly sat next to him and tucked into her favorite spot under his arm. Jim had “The Mummy,” cued up in the DVD player. They stayed curled up close as the first shots of ancient Egypt filled the screen.

The day started out normally. Jim woke up feeling warm and content with his arms wrapped around Pam. Correction, Cece had woken up which meant everyone had woken up at the beautiful hour of 6:00am leaving both of them confused and disoriented. Pam had dragged herself into the rocker and started to breastfeed their daughter. Jim slid his cast on and stumped downstairs and made sure the parts for Pam’s breast pump were clean. He’d washed them for her before they’d gone to bed the night before. Yawning to himself he found everything in order on the drying rack. Dutifully he put the pieces together and brought them upstairs. He nudged Pam on the shoulder since she was starting to nod off in the rocker. He was rewarded by her tired but kind smile when she saw the item in his hands. Standing next to his wife and daughter, Jim ran his fingers through Pam’s hair until Cece was finished.

Pam handed Cece to Jim and set up her breast pump. While the machine hummed, Jim set Cece near his shoulder and burped her. Task completed; Jim set her down on the changing table. His pre-natal diaper practice paid off.

“Hoo,” Jim glanced to the side as the smell of a night's worth of full diaper hit him. He smirked back at his daughter. “I don’t know what you’ve been eating Kiddo, but you may want to have a word with the chef.”

“No, keep it up,” Pam said with a raised eyebrow when Jim turned back to her.

“Don’t worry,” Jim turned back to where Cece to finish changing her diaper. She was smiling and waving her arms at him while blowing spit bubbles. “Mommy just needs some tea before she leaves for the day. Come on let’s go make some tea for Mommy.”

Jim turned and waved one of Cece’s hands at her. Pam’s expression softened and she smiled at her husband and daughter. On reaching the kitchen Jim buckled Cece into a reclining bouncy chair and started to make coffee for himself and tea for Pam. While each was brewing, he cut apart an English muffin, put it in the toaster, and got a jar of raspberry jam out of the fridge. The first set of muffins popped out of the toaster replaced by new ones. By the time Pam came downstairs, breakfast was ready.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” She asked as she sat down at the table next to Cece’s chair.

“Just trying to live up to my hype,” Jim told her with a grin. “Isn’t the parent that stays home supposed to cook, clean, and look after the kids?”

“Maybe,” Pam said around a mouthful of muffin. She took a sip of tea to clear her mouth. “But they usually also don’t have a bum leg. How’s it feeling today?”

Jim looked down and lifted his walking cast off the floor a few inches. “Oh fine. Not as sore as last week, so that’s a relief.”

A rattling in the living room caused both of their heads to turn. Eeyore was alternately pawing at his cage and tossing his empty feed bowl around with his teeth.

“I’ll get him,” Pam said with her mouth half-full. Walking over to the cage, she opened it and scooped out some pellets from a bag they kept on top of the cage. She poured in the pellets and added a few handfuls of hay as well. Eeyore dug into his food with gusto. When she came back into the kitchen, she saw Jim eating his own breakfast and bouncing Cece’s chair with his good foot.

“Eeyore’s litter needs changed today,” she said as she picked up her purse after she finished her breakfast.

“No problem.”

“The dishes need to get finished too.”

“I’ll handle it.”

“Your clothes are overflowing the hamper again.”

“Sorry, I’ll get them in there.”

“Also try to keep the rabbit away from Cece’s toys. That binkie he destroyed last night was one of her favorites.”

“Binkies are not for bunnies, got it.”

Pam paused as she heard the almost sing-song tone of voice in Jim’s voice. She’d almost made it to the door. Slowly she turned around. “Why do I get a feeling I’ll be hearing or maybe reading those words later today?”

Jim just flashed her his most charming smile in response.

“Uh huh, that’s what I thought.” Pam crossed back to the table. “Have a good day sweetheart.” She leaned forward and kissed him.

Jim’s smile was more gentle when they broke apart. “You too.”

Pam grinned back at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said softly.

With that Pam turned and left for the office. Jim finished his breakfast and set the dishes in the sink to be washed later. Bending over he scooped Cece from her chair and held her over his head. Her excited giggles, which reminded him so much of Pam, had him grinning right back at her.

“So Kiddo, what do want to do?”

Cece beamed back at him and waved her arms in circles.

“Play on the play mat?” Jim brought her down carry her to the family room. “You’re just full of all sorts of good ideas.”

Careful to guard both his daughter and broken leg, Jim lowered himself to the floor once they made it to the family room. He set Cece down on her back on a padded playmat. On one end were multi-colored piano keys set at the right height for her to kick, which would cause them to light up and play music. A plastic arch crossed over the mat with various small stuffed toys hanging from it. Cece spent the next hour batting at the animals while triggering electronic versions of kids songs from her piano key kick board.

Eeyore hopped over to investigate the goings on. Cece caught sight of the movement and tilted her head up to try and see the rabbit. For his part, Eeyore cautiously approached Cece’s head with his nose twitching. Jim reached over and scratched between Eeyore’s ears before stroking the fur between his eyes. Eeyore rewarded the attention paid him by leaning forward and licking Jim’s fingers with rabbit kisses.

Jim smiled as the small creature decided he’d had enough attention and hopped off to rest under the table. Looking down he saw Cece yawn and rub her eyes.

“Uh oh, looks like someone’s getting tuckered.”

Scooping her up, Jim brought her to her crib for a morning nap. She settled down quickly. Knowing she’d only sleep for about an hour, Jim made good use of the time. He turned on one of his favorite playlists stored on is iPod. Music Pam had once prepared for him for a scavenger hunt. The songs helped him focus and soon all the tasks Pam had asked him to complete were done. Heading back to the living room he opened his computer and logged onto his Facebook account.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 3. I think Small Rabbit may be getting jealous of Small Human. Last night Small Rabbit decided it would be a good idea to scamper off with one of Small Human's pacifiers. Small Rabbit was told clearly binkies are not for bunnies. Another observation, the dirty dishes seemed to continuously multiply. Regardless of how often the dishes are washed the phenomenon persists. There must be a disturbance in the local space-time continuum, it's the only logical explanation. I feel I must design an experiment to test this theory. I'll do that right after lunch. Hot dogs and mac and cheese may be elusive prey, but I have confidence in my ability to ensnare them.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 4. Reinforcements have arrived and the expedition will progress regardless of fire, fog, or rainfall. Mother-in-Law arrived at the domicile this morning to assist with expedition endeavors. Small Human is quite pleased to see other people around. Small Rabbit just seems happy that his litter was changed. The hole in space-time theory from yesterday appears to have been confirmed. More dirty dishes and bottles did in fact appear. I wonder how long it will take to learn quantum physics to repair this anomaly. In the meantime, I saw sign on the game trail today. It appears tomato soup has moved into the area. A cunning adversary to be sure, but I'm sure I shall prevail once more.

“Where is he coming up with all of this?”

Pam grinned at Phyllis who was leaning over her shoulder reading Jim’s latest journal entry. The now daily log entries had quickly become one of the highlights around the water cooler. Oscar and Kevin had also wandered over to Pam’s desk.

“I don’t know,” Pam answered her co-worker. “He said he started the first one after watching a nature documentary. Then after all the comments and feedback from that first one he decided to keep going.”

“I’m confused,” Kevin started. “Why does Jim need to learn math to do the dishes?”

“He’s kidding,” Oscar explained his fellow accountant.

“Not that Jim would be able to learn such a complex topic from a simple book,” Dwight commented from across the desk island.

“What was that?” Pam asked.

Dwight looked up from the binder he was paging through. “Neither quantum physics or quantum mechanics are subjects which one can learn via correspondence course. Such areas of learning require years of in-depth work expounding on the theories set forth by the likes of Einstein, Schrodinger, and Heisenberg. I doubt Jim would even know where to begin.”

Pam cocked an eyebrow across their desks. “Oh really? Personally, I don’t think you give Jim enough credit.”

Dwight blew his lips. “Please, he may be a slightly decent salesman, but I’m sorry to say Jim lacks the wherewithal to delve into the deep mysteries of the world of the sub-atomic.”

“If you say so,” Pam cocked her head and closed the Facebook post. The other three took the hint and walked back to their desks.

Once the area was clear, Pam pulled up her personal IM program. Jim was online. She explained the conversation she’d just had with Dwight. Ten minutes later she and Jim were done with their conversation and the day progressed normally. Halfway through the afternoon a delivery man appeared at the reception desk.

“Delivery for a D. K. Schrute,” the man announced.

“I’ll take it to him,” Erin said kindly from her desk. She signed for the parcel and got up to deliver it to Dwight. “Package for you Dwight.”

 She set down a brown box twice the size of a shoe box on Dwight’s desk. It was wrapped entirely in clear plastic wrap, save for where the delivery label was fixed to it. An envelope was also attached to the mailing label.

Pam had her phone to her ear. To Dwight it looked like she was on hold with a client since she’d picked up the phone and dialed when she heard the delivery man walk in. “What’s that?” she asked.

“None of your business,” Dwight promptly replied.

“Come on Dwight,” Pam pleaded.

“Fine!” he relented. “It appears to be a parcel from the University of Scranton’s Agriculture Department.”

Pam frowned a bit. “What do they want with you?”

Dwight ignored the question. He opened the envelope and started to read out loud.

“Dear Mr. Schrute,
The University of Scranton Agriculture Department has always been at the forefront of advances in botanical studies. A recent grant from the United States Department of Agriculture has provided us the tools to research alternative growing methods for a variety of crops. These methods could mean that farmers would be able to double or triple their yields with little extra effort. Laboratory tests have been promising, however what is crucially needed is real-world testing.
To that effect, based on the reputation of its above average size beets, Schrute Farms has been selected as a test bed. The relatively small acreage is also ideal for maintaining precise experimental control for our new growing methods.
Within this parcel are several beet seedlings. When packaged these seedlings were sprayed with a precisely measured amount of dicamba and bromacil, which, as you are no doubt aware, are two powerful herbicides. Lab tests have shown that while normal seedlings exposed to these chemicals will die, seedlings exposed to these two chemicals and them immediately sealed and planted have proven to resist the ill effects and produce a bumper crop, even if planted outside normal planting times.
The University staff greatly appreciates your assistance in developing this new strain of beet. With your help further advances in the study and science of beta vulgaris will open new frontiers in one of the most important crops of our time.

Sincerely,
Dr. I.P. Freely, PhD”

Pam looked impressed. “Wow, Dwight! Sounds important.”

“It is Pamela,” Dwight looked up with a proud expression on his face. “I’ve been sending the University of Scranton soil samples from my farm for years. At long last they respond back to me and with a matter of greatest import.”

Reaching into his pocket, Dwight produced his pocket knife and started to move towards cutting open the packaging on the box.

“Wait! What are you doing?” Pam said with a concerned tone. “The letter said to keep the box sealed and to plant it right away.”

“Pam? You think I’m going to sully the fertility of my family farm with an unknown substance?” Dwight’s voice was thick with condescension. “Please.”

“Dwight,” Pam cocked her head. “You heard the instructions. The only way those seedlings are staying alive is because the box is sealed.”

“Ah Pamela,” Dwight looked up with what she knew what his ‘time-to-teach-the-underlings' face. “How little you know. While you are correct, you are only partially correct. I shall educate you. Yes, the possibility exists that the seedlings within are safe and secure. The possibility also exists that the Scranton Agriculture Department mis-measured the chemicals, thus killing the seedlings. As a prudent farmer it is my duty to investigate.”

“Which would nullify the experiment entirely,” Pam shot back.

“Well...no...I...mean..,” Dwight started to stutter.

“Probably best to just leave it alone until you can plant it,” Pam said.

Dwight looked back and forth between her and the box several times. After several false starts, he slumped down into his chair. “Fine!” he grumped. “However, I reserve the right to withhold any extra beet products I would have been able to produce should this experiment succeed.”

“Duly noted,” Pam told him before getting back to waiting for her call to go through.

Across her desk, she noticed Dwight attempting to go back to work as well. However, the other salesman kept stealing glances towards the box. Minutes ticked by and Dwight was taking longer looks at the box. At one point, he reached for it, only to be stilled by a glare and a finger pointed at him from Pam.

The phone ringing at reception cut through the silence.“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Erin. Please hold, I’ll transfer you.”

Dwight’s phone rang as the call was sent over. He tore his gaze off his box and took a deep breath before lifting the receiver. “Dwight Schrute, how may I help you today?”

Pam glanced up for a moment as the call came in and punched a button on her phone.

Dwight carried on as if she wasn’t there. “Yes, this is he. Indeed, I did receive a parcel today. It was addressed to me from the University of Scranton. Yes. Yes. One Doctor Freely. I’m looking at the letter right now sir. I.P. Freely.”

A snicker escaped her mouth and her hand accidentally hit the speakerphone button. A male voice came from her speaker.

“You’re going to have to speak up there sir, I’m a little hard of hearing.”

Dwight didn’t notice though. “I.P. Freely!” he all but shouted into his phone.

Several things happened at once. The first was that Pam dissolved into a fit of giggles along with anyone else in earshot. Second, Dwight’s voice erupted out of her speaker phone. Third was the look of incredulity that bloomed on Dwight’s face. Fourth was Stanley speaking up from his desk.

“You might want to get that looked at.”

“Wait a minute,” Dwight dropped his phone and bolted upright out of his chair. Flicking open his pocketknife, he cut through the tape on the box and threw open the flaps. He paused only for an instant before glowering at Pam who was getting her giggles under control. “Michael!” Dwight stormed off to his boss’ office.

Knowing her co-workers were looking to get in on the punch line, Pam stood up and reached into the abandoned box on Dwight’s desk. She pulled out a small plush toy shaped like a beet. Pinned to the toy was a note.

“Schrodinger's Beet”

A round of laughter chorused through the office as Pam wiggled the toy back and forth a few times before placing it next to Dwight’s bobble-heads.

“Nice work hon,” Pam said towards her phone as she sat back down.

“You too,” Jim’s voice came out of her speaker.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 5. The weekend is here. At first, I thought this would mean a reprieve from expedition duties. Working Wife laughed and assured me this was not the case. Unless more food is procured, Small Rabbit has the look in his eye that he'll start eating the walls, literally. Small Human is glad to have more people around as well. Seeing as how there are more people in the domicile today, small game just won't cut it. Today I quest in search of big game. Wish me luck, I'm sure the lines at Wegmans will be huge.

Jim finished typing and moments later his latest update was posted to his Facebook account. He spun around in his chair to see Pam nursing Cece on the couch. She was humming softly to their daughter while gently rocking her back and forth. Pam looked up and saw Jim smiling at the two of them. Her own grin bloomed on her face.

“Newest journal entry all up and published?”

“Yup,” Jim turned back to grab the laptop. “Want to read it?”

“Sure.”

Taking care to go easy on his bad foot, Jim shuffled across the room and sat down next to his wife and daughter. He held the laptop up so Pam could read easily. She let out a snort of laughter when she got to the end of the brief message.

“You know what’s one of the good things about you keeping these things short?” she asked.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t have to constantly hound you to get off Facebook and keep an eye on Cece.”

Jim smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. “I’m glad you’re not hounding me either.”

Pam grinned back for a moment before looking back down at Cece. She adjusted the small girl to a slightly better position on the wrap around pillow Cece was laying on while nursing. “Could you double check the grocery list please? Hopefully she’ll go down for a nap once she’s finished and I can pump. We can head out after that.”

“No problem,” Jim assured her.

Stumping to the kitchen, Jim found the grocery list on the table and looked it over. He opened a few cabinets to ensure they items listed were gone or nearly empty. The box of granola bars only had one left, so he took the last bar out and opened the trash to throw out the empty box. The sight of another empty carton caused him to pause for an instant before he threw in the granola bar box. After going over the rest of the list, he added one more item to it.

“Good to go honey?” Pam walked into the kitchen carrying a snoozing Cece in one arm and two bottles of breast milk in the other hand to deposit in the fridge.

“Yup, I also added something to the list.” Jim handed over the slip of paper.

Pam shut the fridge door to take the list from Jim. “Yeah? What’s....,” she paused sheepishly as she read what he’d written down. “That?” she finished.

“Someone owes me ice cream since they ate the last of my Moose Tracks,” Jim smirked.

Pam’s eyes glanced up from the grocery list to meet Jim’s. She stood rooted in her spot and shuffled nervously for a moment. 

Jim waved a smug hand at her. “Care to explain why all the ice cream is gone?”

“I was hungry?” she tried.

Jim just tilted his head back and laughed at her. “Just tell me when. That’s all I ask.”

“Last night. It was after my turn to calm Cece down. I couldn’t get back to sleep so I had a little snack is all.”

“A little snack?” Jim’s eyes shot up in surprise. “There was over half a tub of Moose Tracks left!”

“Okay maybe not so little,” Pam admitted. “I’m sorry.”

Jim chuckled and stepped over to her. He carefully set his hands on her shoulders and leaned down for a kiss. “It’s okay. But if you want some of my ice cream honey, please, just ask me first.”

“I’ll try,” said Pam.

“Thank you.”

An hour later, the small family was pushing a cart through the frozen food section of Wegmans. Jim was pushing while making faces at Cece who was grinning right back at him. Pam was scanning down the list making sure they hadn’t missed anything in the other aisles.

“Okay we got the spaghetti, tomato sauce, milk.... oh shoot! I skipped the baking aisle. I need chocolate chips.” She looked up at Jim. “Can you stay here while I run back and get them?”

“Go ahead. I’ll keep the Kiddo company.”

Pam leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek. “Thanks hon. Be right back.”

Digging into their diaper bag, Jim pulled out a rattle and started shaking it in front of Cece. She happily reached for it and started swinging around on her own.

“Oh, she’s adorable. You're such a good Dad to play with her while also doing the shopping.”

Jim looked over at the middle-aged woman who had stopped next to him in the aisle to comment. He was about to reply but she kept going.

“What beautiful eyes, and such soft hair. I just have to touch it.” She reached her hand towards Cece.

“Excuse you,” Jim said somewhat stiffly and put his arm across Cece’s car seat to block the woman’s hand.

The woman pulled back in surprise. “What?”

Jim furrowed his eyes. “Do you normally make it a habit of just reaching out and touching random children?”

“What?” she repeated herself. “She’s a baby. I can’t help myself. When I see a baby, I just have to touch them. Same thing if I see a pregnant lady. There’s nothing better than feeling a baby kick.”

Without preamble, Jim reached forward and put his hand on her stomach. As soon as his hand touched her coat she jumped back as if scorched.

“What are you doing?” she all but shouted at him.

“Well if it’s okay for you to just come up and touch random children or pregnant women, you must be okay with random people touching you without permission. Turnabout’s fair play after all.”

She didn’t say anything, just stood gaping at Jim.

“If you want to touch anyone, best to get their permission first,” Jim went on. “Also, while I appreciate the comment on me being a good Dad, you should say the same thing to my wife if you see her. I assure you, she does a lot more than I do right now to raise our daughter. I’m sure she and many other mothers would be grateful for a kind word every now and then.”

The woman opened and closed her mouth a few times in surprise. Wordlessly she stalked away from Jim and Cece but not before throwing a nasty glare back at the pair.

“Don’t worry Kiddo, Daddy’s here to keep weird gross ladies away from you,” Jim reached into Cece’s car seat and tickled the girl’s cheeks. He was rewarded with a happy squeal from his daughter.

“May I give you a hug?”

Jim turned around at the sound of Pam’s voice behind him. She was holding the bag of chocolate chips to her face in only a half-hearted attempt to hide the proud grin on her face.

“You always have permission to hug me,” Jim said softly.

Pam stepped forward and sank into his arms for a brief embrace. She stepped back with her eyes shining at her husband. Pam turned to the side and reached into the freezer next to them. She pulled out two cartons of ice cream. One of Moose Tracks the other of Cookies ‘n Cream.

“All for you,” she said as she put them in their cart.

Jim grinned back and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. He turned to the freezer and pulled out a carton to hand to her. “And for you milady,” he said with pride.

“Oh my god Jim! No!” She tore the carton of Mint Chocolate Chip from his hands and flung it back in the freezer.

Unable to stop his laughter, Jim reached back into the freezer and got out a carton of Pam’s favorite Cookie Dough ice cream. When he turned back, Pam and Cece were already halfway down the aisle. Stumping down the aisle as fast as his leg could carry him, Jim quickly caught up with the pair.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“Mmmhhmmm,” Pam muttered while trying to prevent the corners of her mouth from twitching upwards as she turned the cart into the breakfast aisle.

“Here look, I’ll prove it okay?” Jim set the carton of ice cream down next to the other two and started rubbing his hands together vigorously. “See? No cold fingers on your neck.”

She couldn’t resist any longer. Pam let out her own laugh. “I guess you’re out of the doghouse. What with that and also defending Cece from creepy women and all.”

Jim tossed an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple as they finished their shopping trip.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 6. Yesterday's big game hunt was successful. Wild shopping carts were everywhere though and required all my skill to dodge, lest I lose sight of my quarry. Working Wife seemed distressed that Small Human seems to only spit up onto her shirts. I resumed responsibility for Small Human and Working Wife was much relieved. Small Rabbit was indifferent to the new bag of littler I brought him, regardless that it's about 4 times his body weight. The raisin I held out to him was of great interest though. All of us, save Small Rabbit, will be questing today though. First to our local house of worship then off to Grandparents domicile. Onwards!

Jim finished typing his latest journal entry and sent it off to his Facebook profile just as Pam was coming downstairs with Cece in her arms. They had on matching green dresses. The only difference was that Cece was wearing white tights, while Pam had on her usual color of sheer pantyhose.

“Jim? Ready to go?”

“Yup!” he called out as he closed his laptop. Jim slid a loafer onto his good foot and followed Pam out to the driveway. He locked the front door behind him and made his way to their car. Pam already had Cece in her car seat and was holding the front passenger door open for him.

“Why thank you milady,” he grinned.

Pam smiled back and gave him a quick kiss as he sat down and used his hands to help maneuver his walking cast into the car. She closed the door for him before climbing into the driver’s seat and backing out into the road.

“Mind if I pick the music this time?” Jim asked as he plugged in his iPod.

“No, go ahead.”

He scrolled through his playlists before making a choice. Hitting play, he set the player down in a cupholder. As the first strains of Bohemian Rhapsody, filled the car he snuck a glance at his wife.

Pam was trying to keep a straight face, but the corners of her mouth were twitching. She looked over and saw him grinning, which caused her to break as well. She smiled and shook her head.

“Dork.”

“You love it,” Jim said back to her.

“I do, as well as all the other song on my teapot playlist, but you’re still a dork.”

Jim reached over to brush one of her curls behind her ear. Pam tucked her head to the side at the slight tickling sensation. “But I’m your dork.”

“Wouldn’t have it anyone other way,” she said kindly after Jim brought his hand back. They spent the rest of the drive to their church listening to the playlist he’d made for her. By now the familiar songs were old favorites, full of cherished memories.

Arriving at their church, Jim and Pam dropped Cece off in the nursery and made their way into the sanctuary. They held hands throughout the service with Pam leaning her head on Jim’s shoulder halfway through the sermon. They sat to the rear of the sanctuary for two reasons. It was easier to get in and out with Jim’s foot in his cast and, and as Jim explained to Pam, they were closer to the cookies and coffee that were always set out after the service. As the final notes of the Doxology faded from the organ, Jim was proven right. They were among the first couples in line in the Fellowship Hall.

Pam carried her cup of tea and Jim’s coffee to a table, while Jim had a napkin full of cookies. He sat down and promised to keep a careful eye on the teabag steeping in Pam’s cup while she walked off to retrieve Cece. He dunked it a few times to help the tea soak into the water. He stirred cream and sugar into his own mug and sat back to wait for Pam. He didn’t have long to wait. She was walking back with Cece in her arms and were talking to some friends who arrived at their table.

“Your baby,” Pam told him and deposited Cece in his lap.

“My baby,” he agreed and looked up at their new table-mates. “Ethan, Emily, how’s it going?”

“Oh fine,” Ethan Wilcox replied while bouncing his daughter on his knee. “Nice to have the weekend off. We’re short-staffed again at work so it seems we never get any down time between calls.”

Emily also greeted him fondly before she and Pam left the table so Emily could also get a cup of tea.

Jim nodded and then made a face at the one-year old girl giggling across the table. “And how are you Miss Lily-bug?”

“Gah!” Lily grinned back and clapped her hands together.

“She’s getting so big,” Jim commented.

“Yeah,” Ethan looked away for a moment to dig into their diaper bag and pulled out a small plastic container of Goldfish crackers. He poured a few out on the table. Lily dug into her snack with gusto. “She’s starting to get the hang of walking too. I give it a week and she’ll be running around trying to catch the dog.”

Both men laughed at the image of Lily toddling after the Wilcox’s Australian Sheppard.

“How’s the leg?” Ethan pointed to Jim’s cast.

“Getting better,” Jim glanced down for an instant. “I’ve got an appointment with the doc later this week for an x-ray. Hopefully, I’m in the home stretch and will be able to get back to work soon.”

“That’s good. Oh! That reminds me!” Ethan brightened up and dug into the pocked of the khaki cargo pants he was wearing. “I got that stuff from work you were asking about.”

He set out several small packets that looked like condiment packets. The label though read; Medi-Lube.

“Hopefully those should work for you.”

Jim picked them up with a gleam in his eye. “You’re sure this will wash off?”

“100%,” Ethan said. “It’s the same stuff we use to lubricate the breathing tubes we use on the truck. However, we’ve all used them to lube up the handles and mics of each other’s ambulances. It comes right off with some water.”

“This will be great when I get back to the office.” Jim smiled as he pocketed the packets. “I’ve told you about my co-worker Dwight?” After Ethan nodded, Jim went on. “I’ve superglued a lot of his stuff before. Same result though. Should be hard for him to grab any of his desk supplies.”

“Have fun man,” Ethan replied.

They kept chatting across the table. Emily and Pam returned after a few minutes while they all enjoyed their morning snack. When both sets of parents noticed their daughters were starting to fall asleep, they got up from the table and walked out of the church into the warm summer sun.

“Jim, do you have Cece’s diaper bag ready?”

Pam came downstairs while pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She walked into the living room where she assumed Jim was waiting for her. She paused as she came around the corner. Cece was laying on her back on her play mat. She was giggling while she kicked her feet against a toy piano that had lights in the keys whenever they were kicked. Jim had set the toy so each time a key was pushed a simple melody would play rather than a single note of music. Eeyore had hopped over to investigate. His nose was twitching as he stood on his hind legs to get a better look at the source of the noise. Cece looked over and waved her arms happily at the rabbit. She let out an excited squeal of amusement when Eeyore dropped down on all fours and sniffed at her face. Cece waved an arm at Eeyore, but before she could touch him, the rabbit hopped off to start chewing on a straw toy near his cage.

Jim was sitting on the couch with his computer in his lap keeping an eye on the proceedings. Pam saw Cece’s diaper bag ready to go on the cushion next to him. He turned to look at her when he heard her enter the room. A wide smile appeared on his face.

“Sure do. I’m just going to post this latest journal entry and we can get going.”

“What do you have in store for us today?” Pam asked as she walked towards the couch.

“See for yourself.” Jim turned the computer to her as she sat down.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 7. Working Wife is not working today. So that meant we got to sleep in, relax, and be lazy...in the dream I had at least. No, we have new tasks to complete today. An interesting side expedition called running errands. Small Human will be venturing forth with us. She's not sure how she feels about this new development. Small Rabbit is just glad I put more food in his bowl. Wish us luck, not sure what this new path will bring. If I don't come back to the domicile since I didn't have time to check my game traps know that I went out with my boots on.

“’Went out with my boots on?’” Pam looked up. “What does that even mean?”

Jim shrugged. “I think it means you died doing what you love or something like that. I got the line from the movie we watched last night.”

Pam looked over to the DVD player where the case for Secondhand Lions was still sitting out. “It is a fun movie, I’ll give you that one.”

“Yup.” Jim published his latest note and set the computer aside. “I’ll get the bunny and the bag if you can get the baby.”

“No problem.” Pam got up off the couch and took the few steps to pick up Cece from her playmat. “Hey there pretty lady. Ready to go with Mommy and Daddy to the store?”

Cece replied by smiling and waving her arms.

Jim chuckled as he stood up on his good leg. “Eeyore! Cage!”

Eeyore perked up when he heard his name called. He ran quickly towards his cage and hopped in. Immediately he put his front paws up on the horizontal bars near his water bottle and started sniffing the air. Jim leaned over to close the cage then pulled a bunny treat out of the bag and poked it through the cage. Eeyore snatched it away at once and started munching on the treat.

“Good bunny,” Jim said fondly. He turned around and grabbed the diaper bag off the couch before following Pam and Cece out to the car.

Pam drove while Jim pulled up some music on the iPod. He set the player down then reached over to take Pam’s hand.

“Hey Pam?”

She glanced over at her husband. “Yes Jim?”

“I’m glad you took the day off today. It’s nice to be with you.”

Pam beamed at his loving tone. “I’m glad to be with you too.” She raised his hand up to her lips for a quick kiss before letting go so she could signal a turn.

Their first stop was to the post office to get some bills in the mail. They spent the rest of the morning making trips to the art supply store for fresh paint, Babies R Us for more changing table supplies, and Home Depot for a few bags of mulch. Pam steadfastly refused to allow Jim to carry the bags of mulch to the car, insisting she was well able to haul the 50-pound bags herself.

“Doing alright?” he smirked as she got back into the car.

“Just fine,” she said brightly, even though she was also stretching out her arms. “Lunch?”

“Sounds lovely,” Jim said back as Pam started to drive out of the parking lot. “McDonalds or Applebees?”

“Applebees,” Pam replied. “I want to be able to sit for a while. I might also need to feed Cece soon.”

“We can ask for a booth in the back.”

It didn’t take long to make the trip to the restaurant. They were shown to a back booth as requested. Jim pulled Cece out of her car seat and slung the diaper bag over his shoulder.

“My turn to change her. Could you order me a Coke when the server gets here?”

“Sure,” Pam said as she pulled her menu towards her.

By the time Jim was back Pam had put in their drink orders. “How’s she doing?” Pam asked.

“Getting kinda fussy,” Jim handed Cece off to Pam and lowered himself into the booth. He dug out Pam’s feeding cover from the diaper bag and handed it over. “Here, in case you need it.”

“Thanks,” Pam gratefully accepted the cloth.

While Pam arranged herself and Cece the waitress came by with their drinks.

“Here you go, two Cokes. Awww,” she cooed when she saw Cece. “How old is she?”

“Just over four months, Pam replied as she draped her cloth over her and pulled Cece underneath. “You don’t mind if I feed her like this do you?”

The waitress waved off her concerns. “Oh, not at all. Take as much time as you need. I’ll talk to the hostess and see if she can keep the other tables around here open until you’re done. I remember back when I was breast feeding my kids, I sometimes felt like I was in a zoo with all the stares I got. If you need anything at all, extra napkins, a towel, things like that just let me know.”

“Thank you so much. That’s really nice of you.”

“No problem. Do you still need a few minutes to look over the menu or do you know what you’re going to have?”

Jim looked up at Pam. “The usual?”

“Sounds good,” Pam wasn’t looking at Jim since she was busy getting Cece in a better position.

“We’ll get the 2 for $20 combo. Mozzarella sticks for the appetizer. Broccoli chicken alfredo for her and I’ll go with the Cajun salmon.”

“Not a problem,” the waitress said as she wrote down their order. “I’ll go get that in for you.”

The rest of their lunch passed peacefully Cece fell into a milk coma when she was done eating, so Jim put her back in her car seat, covered her with a blanket, and pulled the shade over her to block the light coming in from the window. He’d set the car seat on the bench next to him so he could always see her as she slept.

Cece stayed asleep on the drive home. Jim carefully carried the car seat into the house and set it down on the table. He unbuckled the straps and picked up his daughter to bring her to her room so she could continue her nap. Gently, he set her down in her crib. He brushed his hand over her hair. Cece stirred a little but remained asleep.

“Have a good nap Kiddo,” Jim whispered.

He left Cece sleeping and walked down to the living room. Pam had let Eeyore out of his cage and was rolling a wicker ball around the floor. Eeyore would hop after the ball and grasp it in his teeth. With a flip of his head, the bunny sent the ball flying away. Pam reached out to catch the ball and rolled it back towards Eeyore to start the game again.

“She’s still asleep,” Jim said as he leaned down to kiss the top of Pam’s head.

“That’s good,” she said while continuing to play with the rabbit.

Jim smiled and let a feeling of warmth flood through him as he sat down on the couch.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 8. The domicile is back to normal. And by normal, I mean the detritus of the weekend needs to be cleaned, Small Rabbit has that look in his eye due to his litter needing to be changed, and the space-time vortex of dishes persists. Fortunately for me I have at least one thing in my favor. Pizza Rolls were recently ensnared. Small Human is currently napping which gives me an opportunity. Once I'm finished spreading mulch around, I'm sure they shall prove as hearty a meal as any.

Pam’s eyes changed from bemused to apprehensive as she read Jim’s latest journal post at her desk. She reached for her phone and hit the speed dial for his cell phone. He picked up on the second ring.

“Hello hello.” Jim voice seemed to be overly cheerful to Pam’s ear.

“You have a broken leg, you know,” she said with a note of concern in her voice. “Those bags of mulch weight at least 50 pounds. Is that going to be too much for you?”

“Awww, you do care,” Jim teased.

“Dork,” Pam teased back. “Seriously, didn’t the doctor say you needed to keep most of the weight off your foot?”

“He did, fortunately I won’t be doing most of the heavy lifting.”

Pam sat up straight in her chair with a puzzled look to her face. “What? How’s that going to work?”

“Oh, I have my ways. Hold on a sec.”

In her mind’s eye, Pam could clearly see the smug smirk on Jim’s face. Her fears though were relieved when a new voice came on the line.

“Hey there hot stuff!”

Letting a laugh escape her lips, Pam felt her smile return. “Hey Johnathan. Why didn’t you tell us you were going to be in town?”

“What and ruin the surprise? Come on, I thought my cousin had taught you a thing or two by now?” In the background she heard Jim’s guffawing laughter.

“Him teach me? Please” she fired back. “Without me he’d still be shuffling around looking around for the secret vault of paperwork here at the office.”

Johnathan’s voice seemed muffled as he repeated what she’d said to Jim. “She said you’d still be looking for the paperwork vault without her.”

Jim’s reply was muffled so Pam didn’t catch it.

“What’d he say?”

“Something about how he’s been threatening to use dynamite to crack that safe for years,” Johnathan replied. “Anyway, yeah surprise! Hope you guys don’t mind me dropping in like this.”

“You’re always welcome in our home,” Pam said kindly. “How long are you here for?”

“A couple days. I had a conference in New York over the weekend and figured I’d take a couple more days off before heading back down to Florida.”

Pam chatted with Johnathan for a bit longer before she hung up her phone. Feeling much lighter, she brought her call sheet back up and scanned the list for potential sales. A new voice interrupted her though.

“There are no vaults in this building. I’ve completed very thorough checks of the entire premises on multiple occasions and never found such a thing.”

Dwight was giving her a very serious look from across their desks. Pam quirked an eyebrow at him. Internally she was grinning, outwardly she kept her composure. “Are you sure Dwight? I was just down there yesterday to get the files for the Gander account.”

“Yes Pamela.” Dwight scoffed. “As you are of course more than aware, I’ve been a valued employee of Dunder-Mifflin longer than you. I am privy to every secret this building has to offer.”

“Oh! Right,” she nodded. “How silly of me. It’s just, oh never mind.” Pam turned back to her computer.

“What?” Dwight’s face lost its look of contempt and he leaned forward in his chair.

“It’s nothing.” Pam said without looking up.

“It’s not nothing,” Dwight insisted.

“It really is.”

“Pam, if you have new information about possible secret passages or compartments in this building it’s your duty to report it in your position as junior saleswoman to me, the ranking senior salesman.”

She looked up from her monitor, peered around Dwight, and pointed with a pen. “Wouldn’t that be Stanley?”

“Irregardless,” Dwight waved her off. “You have information. I assure you I will keep it confidential. Unless it involves a matter of national security.”

Rolling her eyes, Pam beckoned Dwight in closer. “Fine, if I must. It’s just back when Michael, Ryan, and I were downstairs we didn’t spend all day selling paper.”

“I knew it!” Dwight had a triumphant gleam to his eye. “There’s no way you could have undersold us or stolen all our clients and still have been legitimate!”

Internally shaking her head at his odd logic, Pam leaned in closer and dropper her voice to a whisper. “No that’s not it. If you go down there, you should still be able to see it.”

Dwight looked around and leaned in. “What?” he whispered back.

Pam brought her hand to the side of her mouth. “The false floor.”

The revelation caused Dwight’s eyebrows to shoot up for an instant before he schooled his features. “Who else knows about this?”

“Just me, Michael, and Ryan. I’m taking a risk by telling you this Dwight. I haven’t even told Jim.”

“Your trust is well placed,” Dwight nodded sagely.

“I knew I could count on you.” Pam glanced around. “Just make sure you keep this secret. We put a lot of sensitive material down there before we re-joined Dunder-Mifflin.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to include the safe on my security patrols.”

Pam nodded in relief. “Thanks Dwight.”

The rest of the day went by surprisingly fast for Pam. Dwight kept shooting her knowing glances that she would return. Her lunch with Phyllis in the breakroom passed calmly. When she landed two new accounts that afternoon, she took a quiet sort of pride when she brought the contracts to Accounting. Finally, it was after 5:00 and time to leave.

Her drive home seemed to take no time. Pulling into the driveway she was met by the sight of Jim and Johnathan raking mulch into their outdoor flower beds. Johnathan had Cece in her chest carrier. The baby girl laughing happily as Johnathan bounced her around as they finished their work.

“Looks great guys!” Pam told them as she walked across the lawn.

“Thanks.” Jim greeted Pam with a hug and a kiss.

“John, lovely to see you again.” Pam said as she gave him a hug as best she could around her daughter.

“You too.”

“So how was your day?” Jim asked.

Pam felt her grin grow from ear to ear. “Well, Dwight now thinks there’s a safe filled with Michael Scott Paper Company secrets. So that’s a plus.”

She led them inside to give them both a full wrap up of her day and to start plotting on how to best utilize the seeds she had sown.

Jim carefully kneeled down next to the tub. Testing the water coming out of the tap, he found it was getting to the right temperature. A happy squeal drew his attention to the side. Cece grinned up at him and waved her arms.

“Glad you’re having fun,” he said to his daughter as he plugged the tub and it began to fill. Reaching over her, he set her baby tub in the main bathtub.

Steeling himself for what was to come, he reached for Cece. Unzipping her onesie immediately filled the bathroom with the smell of a dirty diaper. Jim sat Cece up to peel the piece of clothing off her back. The smell grew stronger when he saw the amount of stool that had exploded out of the back of her diaper to stain the cloth. For her part Cece kept smiling and waving at her father.

“Dear god child, what did you eat?” Jim coughed.

Once the onesie was completely removed Jim also took off Cece’s diaper. He used twice as many baby wipes to clean off the worst of the mess from the diaper blowout before throwing it all in the trash. Gingerly he set Cece in her infant tub and used a scoop to fill it with warm water. Cece kept giggling as Jim used liberal amounts of soap to scrub her clean. While he was scrubbing, Cece chewed on a bath toy shaped like an octopus. Jim whistled some children’s songs as he bathed her which also helped calm down the frustration that had been simmering in him.

Pam had woken up early that day, since she had promised to get donuts for the office. She had kissed Jim goodbye as he stayed in bed. Cece still hadn’t woken up yet and he enjoyed the rare treat of being able to sleep in longer than normal. An illusion of peace shattered by the sight that waited for him when Cece finally woken up. Counting himself lucky the diaper blowout had been limited to Cece’s pajamas and her crib bedding, he gathered clean clothes for Cece and took her to the bathroom for an immediate bath.

“There we go, all clean,” he said as he lifted Cece from the tub and wrapped her in a towel. After drying her off and putting her in clean clothes, Jim set her on her playmat in the living room. When she was happily batting at a stuffed moose Jim made the hike back upstairs to her nursery.

He opened a window to start airing out the room. Carefully he pulled off the soiled sheet and mattress protector and brought them to the laundry room. Checking that Cece was still playing on her mat, he also added the dirty onesie to the load of laundry and turned on the washer.

Returning to the living room Jim heard a metallic rattling. Eeyore was up on his hind legs pawing at the bars of his cage.

“Guess you want out huh?” Jim said to the rabbit as he bent over to open the door. He also added a scoop of pellets to Eeyore’s food dish and a handful of loose hay for the rabbit to munch on. Eeyore dug into his breakfast with gusto. It was then that Jim noticed Eeyore’s litter tray was also full.

“Coffee first,” Jim said to himself as he stood up.

The automatic timer on the coffee machine already had a full pot waiting for him as he entered the kitchen. Pouring himself a mug he walked back to the living room to keep an eye on Cece and Eeyore.

The rabbit had hopped out of his cage and wandered over to investigate Cece. His nose was twitching as he stepped closer to her. Cece let out a laugh as Eeyore’s whiskers brushed against her forehead. Jim let out a deep breath and sat down next to Cece. Eeyore hopped away at first, but then walked back over cautiously. Jim set his mug on the coffee table and started rubbing Eeyore behind his ears while shaking a stuffed octopus above Cece’s face.

After about an hour Cece started yawning and rubbing her eyes. Jim breathed a sigh of relief as he recognized the signs that she was ready for her morning nap. Lifting her up, he brought her to the small cradle he and Pam had set up downstairs, so he didn’t have to carry her up and down the stairs as often. She soon fell asleep.

Taking the opportunity, Jim threw out Eeyore’s old litter in the outside garbage can. After filling the new tray with fresh litter and putting it back in the rabbit cage, Jim finally got a chance to sit down. He pulled his laptop to him and looked around the room. Cece was still sleeping comfortably. Eeyore was chewing on a paper towel roll they’d left out for him. Jim grinned as a new thought bloomed in his mind. He opened Facebook and started to type.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 9. At first I thought Small Rabbit was jealous of Small Human. Alas no, they're working together! I think they're having a contest of who can create the most toxic waste for me to bring outside. Seems like a fairly even contest at this point which is odd as I'm not sure what the stakes are. They must have some odd Bunny-Baby ESP thing going on. Probably a side effect of the space-time vortex of dishes. This will require pondering whilst I track the latest sighting from the game trail. Chunky Soup always makes for a good hunt.

Jim finished publishing the new journal entry when the door to their guest room opened.

“Morning,” Johnathan said as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. “Is that coffee I smell?”

“Yup, in the kitchen.” Jim nodded in the direction of the pot that was still half full of coffee.

Johnathan quickly filled himself a mug and returned to the living room. “Hope I didn’t miss anything important this morning.”

Jim just gave his cousin a smirk and laughed before telling him of the adventures he and Cece had already had that morning.

Pam dropped her bag next to her desk and flopped into her chair. Leaning forward she let her forehead crash onto her keyboard with a dull thud.

“Ow,” she muttered to herself more to say something rather than any exclamation of pain.

“Your sinus self-percussion technique leaves much to be desired,” Dwight commented without looking up.

“My what?” Pam raised her head to look at her co-worker between their monitors.

“Self-percussion,” Dwight told her and tapped his forehead as if it was obvious. When Pam just shrugged at him, he sighed and went on. “Self-percussion is a technique wherein one uses a series of progressively intense and rhythmic taps to dislodge mucus from the sinus cavities of the skull. I have used the technique successfully for years in order to effect a constant flow of mucus, thus leaving my sinus cavities clear, thus giving me one more advantage in staving off any illness I might encounter.”

Pam sighed and let her head fall forwards again. “Please don’t say the word mucus anymore.”

“My apologies,” Dwight’s voice had a tinge of sarcasm to it now. “Would you prefer I use the term skull sludge?”

“I’d prefer you not say anything,” she answered. “I just bombed my last sales call and now I’ve got a killer headache.”

Dwight blew his lips. “Typical. Failure is not something to wallow in young padawan. It is an opportunity to evaluate your mistakes, so you don’t make the same mistake again. Before you head out for another sales call or pick up the phone you should re-live your last interaction. Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. The sooner the better while the memories are still fresh.”

Pam was about to offer a retort but paused for an instant. Even though the advice had come from Dwight and delivered in an almost condescending tone of voice, she had to admit his words also made sense. She sat back up and took a deep breath. “Thank you, Dwight.”

He nodded at her. “When chopping trees, it’s important to pause and sharpen one’s ax.”

Not sure of what to make of the last comment, Pam just nodded and turned to her computer monitor. He’s sometimes, well a lot of times, annoying, but there’s also a reason why he’s one of the best salesmen in the company. He can also be sweet in his own Dwight-ish way, she thought to herself as a memory of his arm around her shoulders and him offering her a handkerchief bubbled up in her mind. Twenty minutes later she looked over the list of strengths and weaknesses she’d typed up.

Strengths

·         I showed up early to the meeting time

·         I didn’t smell bad

·         I didn’t get lost on the way over

·         I had several samples ready to show the client

Weaknesses

·         I thought the client I was going to see was a woman

·         They needed copy paper and I only brought card stock

·         My cell phone kept ringing during the meeting

·         I only had the card stock price list

·         I forgot the list of discounts

·         I got flustered when I met with a man rather than a woman

Takeaways

·         Be sure you know who you’re going to go see

·         Have multiple samples of different products

·         Turn your phone to silent during a meeting

·         Always have an updated price and discount list

·         Keep arriving early

·         Do more research on the client so you know what they need before they ask

Satisfied she’d done as fair a job on self-evaluation as she could, Pam created a new file on her hard drive and filed away her list. Blowing out a breath she was about to pull up her cold call sheet. The idea that it would be good to take a quick break in her thinking in order to help reset her brain led her to clicking over to Facebook. As she’d expected Jim had posted his latest journal entry.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 10. The sun is out and the yard is clear. Fair weather like this can only mean one thing. Solo errands. Small Human was so excited at this prospect she spit up all over her clean onesie. She seemed quite amused by this however and her grin had me laughing right along with her. Small Rabbit seems convinced he'll find food under the table. His vigil is sure and constant, though actual food is two feet from him in his cage. The wonders of nature never cease to amaze. I'll have to check the game trail again for sustenance. Though not a challenging adversary, Leftovers are plentiful in the area right now and the locals say are quite tasty.

Pam grinned to herself at the image of Jim cleaning up Cece. Closing the window, she pulled up her call sheet, took a breath, and reached for her phone. An hour later she’d renewed the contract on a long-standing client and successfully made two one-time sales. She’d just returned to her desk after dropping the new contracts off at Accounting when she heard Erin’s voice behind her.

“Jim! What are you doing here? Awww Cece! She’s getting so big!”

Her own eyebrows raised as she spun in her chair. Sure enough, Jim was pushing their stroller up to the reception desk. Erin was out of her chair and cooing over Cece.

“Shhh,” Jim implored her. “She fell asleep in the car.”

“Oh right!” Erin looked up with wide eyes and lowered her voice.

“What are you doing here?” Pam asked as she walked over.

“You forgot your lunch,” Jim told her simply and help up two sack lunches. “I figured I’d join you before we get the rest of the errands done.”

Warmth flooded Pam at the sight of her husband and daughter. She leaned forward for a brief hug and quick peck on his lips. “Sounds lovely.”

The rest of the office stopped what they were doing to greet Jim and Cece as soon as his presence was noticed. After enduring the same questions about his health and general admiration of Cece, Jim and Pam were finally able to sit down in the break room for lunch.

“So, how’s the day going?” Jim asked.

“Started rough, but it’s getting better,” Pam answered as she set a grape soda on the table for Jim and a cola for her. She told him about her failed sales call, Dwight’s advice, and her strengths and weaknesses list.

“After that, I paused for a minute and read your latest journal. It helped knock away some of the cobwebs, so the rest of the morning has been a lot better,” she finished.

“I’m glad things are looking up for you,” Jim reached over to put a hand on her arm.

“Thanks,” Pam said around a mouthful of the Swiss Cake Roll Jim had packed for her. “Did Dwight ever give you any of his folksy wisdom when you first started?”

Jim let out a laugh at her question. “Only all the time. I remember a few weeks after I first started, he started going on about how sales are like square dancing. I was sure he was about to break out a fiddle.”

Jim and Pam smiled and laughed with each other for the rest of their lunch break.

“Anybody home?”

“I’m in the living room. Cece’s down for a nap upstairs.”

Jim quietly took his shoes off and went upstairs to check on Cece. She was splayed out in the center of her crib snoozing gently when he cracked open the door. Stepping quietly, he made his way into the living room and rubbed Eeyore behind the ears when the rabbit hopped over to him. Helene looked up from her book as he sat down.

“Jim!” Her face lit up. “The cast is off!”

He had a wide grin on his face. “Yup all good to go!”

“I’m sure that’s a big stress relief from everything you’ve had to go through. What did the doctor say?”

“The x-ray looked great. He said the biggest thing is to go easy on it for a while. He had a physical therapist come in and give me some exercises to do here at home to help. Like this one.” Jim raised his left leg off the floor and pointed his toe at the TV. “He wants me to imagine I have a marker between my toes and write out the alphabet.”

Helene raised her eyebrows. “That’s clever.”

Jim nodded. “Yeah and more interesting than just up, down, left, right, circle. Though I have to do that too. Did Johnathan get out okay?”

“He did. Lovely guy but he had a flight to catch.”

“Yeah, I wish I could have seen him off, but that was the only time the doctor had open. Thanks again for coming over to keep an eye on Cece.”

“Oh, think nothing of it,” Helene waved him off. “You know how much I love seeing her. Are you sure you don’t need me more?” Helene’s eyes raised in exactly the same way her daughter’s did when she was trying to get something.

Jim laughed good-naturedly. “Thank you very much, but I’m sure. We’re finally able to get Cece into daycare next week and now that the cast is off, I can head back to work on Monday too.”

It was Helene’s turn to nod. “I’ll bet you’ve been going stir-crazy around here. Missing all the fun you and Pam get into at work.”

“Ehh,” Jim shrugged. “It hasn’t been all that bad. I mean, it’ll be nice to get back to normal, but it’s been fun being with Cece all the time too.”

“Hardest job you’ll ever love, right?” Helene had a twinkle in her eye.

“Absolutely,” Jim smiled back. He pointed to the book she’d set down when he walked in. “Whatcha reading?”

Helene glanced down at the leather-bound tome next to her. “The copy of Persuasion Pam got me for Christmas. It rounded out my Jane Austin collection and it’s one of my favorites.”

Jim nodded. “Glad you like it. I was never really one for big thick books like that to be honest.”

“No offense Jim, but I never really took you for someone who dives into British literature like that.”

“Yeah,” Jim admitted. “I was more of a comic book guy myself growing up. Batman, Captain Marvel, Flash. Things like that.”

“Do you still have any?”

“Only a few. I think I kept my copies of The Death of Superman, World Without Superman, and The Return of Superman, but that’s it. The rest were getting dog-eared or were starting to fall apart.”

“Why’d you keep those ones?”

Jim thought about it for a moment. “For one, they were bound more like a book rather than a standard comic since they’re all a collection of a bunch of individual issues. Made it easier to haul them around. Also, I just really liked the story line.”

Helene folded her hands in her lap. “How come?”

“Superman has always been my favorite character. A guy who always stands up for the right thing. A being who is immensely powerful but holds back that power to help people. Maybe it’s cheesy, but I like heroes and Superman has always been the greatest hero in comics. I thought nothing could ever beat him, so when Doomsday not only defeated him, but killed him, it was a huge shock when I first read the issue.
“Then as issue after issue came out after that and the world in the comics dealt with the loss of Superman, well it kinda felt like I’d lost a friend too. A lot of the characters seemed to just go numb and check out.
“Then later there were a bunch of imposters claiming to be Superman, but none were the genuine article. At last the real Superman comes back, but even he’s changed. He’s wearing black and silver rather than red, blue, and yellow. He’s not even at full power. The essence of who he was is still there though. So, he does what he’s always done and flys off to fight yet another impossible battle.
“This time he and the team he’s with prevail. He's back at full power and other than sporting a stupid mullet haircut, he’s essentially the same Superman we all knew and loved. A teammate gives him back his iconic costume and the first thing he does is fly right back to Lois Lane.”

“Sounds like a very captivating storyline,” Helene nodded.

Jim jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll let you borrow them sometime if you like. I mean they’re just comics, not you know, high literature or something you’d study in college or anything like that.”

She leaned over and patted his knee. “Thank you, maybe I will one of these days. But if I were you, I’d reconsider what you think of as high literature. True classics are those stories that stand the test of time to a reader. You must have read those comics for the first time when you were a teenager right?” She paused while Jim nodded. “Clearly they left an impact on you since you can still remember most of the story line so quickly.”

“That and I’ve re-read them I don’t know how many times,” Jim put in.

“Exactly,” Helene leaned back. “So, for you, your Superman comics are just as classic as Persuasion.”

“Huh,” Jim pondered her words for a moment. “I guess I never really thought of it like that. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Since we’re on the topic of literary works, I’ve loved those Journal updates you’ve been posting. The ladies in my book club and I have had a good time grinning with them all.”

“Oh, thanks,” Jim felt his face grow warm. “They were just something I started on a whim last week and just kinda kept going when I got a few good comments.”

“Well, I think they’re a lot of fun. Going to stop them now that this is your last day as Stay-at-home-Dad?”

Jim thought about it for a moment. “Well I don’t restart work till Monday. I’ll probably keep them going through tomorrow and Sunday, but then yeah, that’ll be it.”

“Seems like a good place to stop,” Helene agreed.

“Yup,” Jim glanced towards Cece’s room. “Since you’re still here and since Cece’s still sleeping, do you mind sticking around for a bit while I write up today’s entry?”

“I’d be delighted to,” Helene smiled.

She picked up her book again while Jim grabbed his computer and started to type.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 11. There is an outside world! It exists! I'm sure the parents out there will think me mad, but I assure it's real, just like it was before we had children! Pardon my enthusiasm, but Mother-in-Law was able to arrive at the domicile today and watch over Small Human and Small Rabbit. At first, I was hesitant to venture forth. My usual hunting grounds are safe and secure. Venturing into the unexplored lands without the need to keep Small Human secure was an experience that brought back many memories. However, on returning to the domicile and seeing Small Human sleeping peacefully made me realize just how wonderful it is to continue my current expedition.

“Would you like to read it before I post it?” Jim asked Helene.

“Sure.” Helene put her book down again and read over the short note. She was grinning when she looked up. “Very cute. But no mention of our discussion on fine literature?”

“No, I like this a bit better.” Jim answered. “Is it alright that I talked about you though?”

“That’s fine. May I ask why you’re not mentioning our talk?”

“I’ve got an idea to surprise Pam when she comes home,” he told her. “Do remember that club Pam started a while back at work?” Helene nodded. “She invited me to join, but I didn’t really take it seriously. I thought books or art like what Pam was talking about were too high above me. So, I made a bad joke about something she really liked. Our talk today changed my mind about that. Pam reads these journals at work so if I mentioned it, the surprise I’ve got in mind might be ruined.”

Helene stayed for the rest of the afternoon and helped entertain Cece when she woke up from her nap. Jim took the time to tidy the house and start to prepare dinner. When Pam came home, she was met with Hamburger Helper ready in a skillet with a side of carrot slices and a glass of their favorite wine. They talked about the results of Jim’s doctor appointment and started plotting a welcome back prank for Dwight on Monday. Soon after it was Cece’s bedtime. Together they changed their daughter into a clean diaper and onesie and set her down to sleep.

“Okay, now that’s done it’s time to begin,” Jim told Pam as they shut the door to Cece’s room.

“Time for what to begin?” Pam had a quizzical look to her face.

“Follow me.” Jim led her back downstairs to the living room. He had her sit in her favorite spot on their two-person love seat. “Okay stay right there. I’ll be right back.”

“Jim? What’s going on?” Pam called as he disappeared back in the kitchen.

“Back in a minute,” he called softly.

He returned carrying two steaming mugs in his hands and had two books tucked under his arm.

“Your tea my dear,” he said as he bent over to hand her the mug of her favorite drink. He set the other mug on the end table. “And coffee for me. I call to order this inaugural meeting of the Beesly-Halpert Fine Literature Society.”

Pam ducked her head and giggled at the faux-formal tone he was using. “Oh really?”

“Yes, really,” Jim said in a very self-satisfied sort of way. “We shall each read a piece of fine literature and then discuss our thoughts about the work. I’ve taken the liberty of selecting tonight’s works for the two of us. You of course shall have the honor of selecting next time.”

“Oh ho!” Pam’s eyes grew wide. “And what pray tell, are the selections this fine evening?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Jim held up the first of the books he’d had tucked under his arm. “For you milady, a piece of classic Americana. I humbly present, The Death of Superman. Part one of a three volume series.”

Pam couldn’t help herself and leaned forward to laugh at his selection. “With pictures and everything? You spoil me good sir.”

“Quite,” Jim said with a smirk and raised eyebrows. Leaning forward he handed her his prized comic book. “And for me, a selection long overdue on my own reading list.”

Pam’s giggles ended and a lump caught in her throat when Jim held up Angela’s Ashes.

Jim’s voice lost its humor but was still warm. “I promise to actually read it this time.”

A warm smile bloomed on Pam’s face as she patted the cushion next to her. “Come and sit down.”

They quickly situated themselves on the love seat. Jim reached over and picked up his mug. “A toast before we start reading.”

Pam followed suit and raised her own mug. “A toast.”

“To all the many works of writing past, present, and future. May we enjoy them all surrounded by those we love.”

“Cheers,” Pam agreed her voice full of affection.

They clinked their mugs together and settled in to enjoy their books.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 12. The weekend is once again upon us. I'm sure there will be much cleaning in and around the domicile as well as restocking of needed supplies. My quantum physics book still hasn't arrived; thus the space-time vortex of dishes persists. I really need to get a handle on that as I think it's also creating a gravity well of laundry too. Time to look in the deep freeze for sustenance, no not outside I'm not that insane. Small Human and Small Rabbit might look on wistfully, but no, this frozen pizza is all for Working Wife and myself.

“Almost done with that?”

Jim looked up at Pam who was carrying a laundry basket. He grinned and set aside his laptop.

“Yup, just finished. Need some help with that?”

“Please, thank you,” Pam grinned back. “By the time we get this last load folded the pizza should be ready.”

Following Pam upstairs to their room was much easier without the cast. Dumping the load of Cece’s clothes on the bed, they made quick work of folding and sorting them. Jim cracked the door to Cece’s room. Quickly and quietly he closed the door again.

“Shhh,” he hushed with a finger on his lips. “She’s still down.”

They made their way down to the kitchen. The oven timer was seconds from going off. Pam turned it off early and pulled the Tombstone pizza out of the oven. While she sliced it, Jim poured glasses of Coke. They had just sat down when Pam’s phone rang.

“Hi Rachel!” Pam brightened up as she answered. “Just sat down to lunch. Cardboard pizza. No, not like that, it’s actually pretty good, but it comes packed on a piece of cardboard, so we just call it cardboard pizza. Really! When did you get back? Maybe, I’ll ask.”

Pam pulled the phone away from her ear and turned to Jim. “Rachel’s back in town and wants to know if we’d like to join her for a walk at the park today.”

“Sounds fun,” Jim grinned as he picked an olive off his slice and put it on Pam’s plate. “Cece should be waking up soon so it’ll be nice to get out of the house for a bit.”

An hour later the Halperts were pulling into the parking lot of Nay Aug Park. Pam’s old roommate from her year at college was waiting for them. Jim had just strapped Cece into her baby carrier as Rachel walked up.

“Pam, so good to see you again,” Rachel said as she leaned in for a hug.

“You too,” Pam beamed back at her old friend.

Rachel leaned back at turned to Jim and Cece. “Lovely to see you again too Jim. It’s been a while.”

“It has,” Jim agreed as he held up an arm for a side hug since Cece was strapped to his chest. “If I remember right it was at that shin-dig Pam and everyone put together after sending me on that scavenger hunt.”

Rachel grinned broadly at the memory. “Yeah I think you’re right. That was a fun time.” She then turned all her attention to Cece. “And look at you! You’re so big!”

Cece started to giggle at the funny faces Rachel started to make. Jim and Pam laughed before they all set off down one of the park’s walking paths.

“So, how’s Washington?” Pam asked as they got under the cover of some trees.

“Eh,” Rachel shrugged. “It’s a city like anything else. Packed with tourists and government workers all the time. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to slam on my brakes because some moron is trying to get a picture of the Lincoln Memorial.”

“But working at the Smithsonian has got to be interesting, right?” Pam linked her hand with Jim’s as they strolled.

“Right,” Jim put in. “I mean a history major who’s actually using their degree in a history museum. We should all be so lucky.”

“Yeah,” Rachel nodded. “That’s kind of nice. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever leave Scranton. Just be stuck here in town find some job that pays the bills and that would be it.”

Jim and Pam shared a private glance as Rachel went on.

“I also didn’t think I’d ever get a job at the Smithsonian. I mean it’s not like I have a degree from some Ivy League school or anything. So, when they called and said I got the job at the American History Museum I was thrilled.”

“What’s the best thing you get to see every day?” Jim asked to keep the conversation going.

Rachel thought for a moment. “I mean there’s just so much stuff it’s hard to narrow it down just one thing. Seeing on of Mr. Rodger’s sweaters every day is kind of nice though.”

Jim nodded enthusiastically. “Yup, nothing wrong with a good cardigan. Right Pam?”

Pam just gave Jim a swat on his shoulder for the shit-eating grin on his face. They spend the next hour catching up on life. There was a pause in the walk for Pam to duck into a bathroom to change Cece’s diaper. Eventually they made their way back to the parking lot and said good-bye to Rachel who had other friends and family to see during her visit back to Scranton.

Cece drifted off to sleep for her afternoon nap on the drive home. Pam carried her upstairs to her room while Jim headed to the kitchen to unload their dishwasher.

“Thanks for doing that,” Pam said as she leaned against the doorway leading into the kitchen.

“No problem,” Jim smiled at her as put the last of the silverware away.

“Does it ever bother you?”

“Does what bother me?” Jim caught the note of uncertainty in Pam’s voice.

“That you got stuck here in Scranton, just doing a job that pays the bills rather than something more exciting?”

“We both know what happened when I tried to leave here,” Jim said and walked over to his wife.

“Scranton has nothing on Stamford and you know it,” Pam had a half frown on her face.

“Stamford?” Jim had a quizzical expression on his face. “I wasn’t talking about Stamford.”

Pam looked confused. “Then what...”

“There’s no way I could let you blow your pretty little cat brain away by moving to Maryland,” Jim smirked.

His joke cut the slight tension that had settled over the kitchen. Pam giggled as Jim’s arms came around her. “As long as I’ve got you and the Kiddo, it doesn’t matter where I am. I’m happy.”

This time Pam’s frown was offset by the light of happiness in her eyes. “You do realize you’re a walking talking Hallmark movie from time to time, right?”

Jim just grinned back down at her as he dipped his head towards hers. “You love it.”

From the way Pam kissed him back, Jim knew he was right. Not that she would ever admit it, he thought to himself.

“I can’t believe this!”

Jim looked up at the exasperated shout Pam had let out from the couch. He cocked an eyebrow at her while gently bouncing Cece in his arms.

“What’s up?”

Angrily Pam slammed the lid of her laptop closed and buried her head in her hands. “The daycare emailed. Turns out there was a mistake in the paperwork. Cece’s spot won’t open up for another two weeks!”

“Please tell me you’re joking!” Jim started walking towards where Pam was sitting.

“Nope.” She thrust a hand the computer. “Look for yourself. I mean what the hell? The night before we’re supposed to be able to get her in is when they spring this on us?”

“Hey, I believe you,” Jim said as he sat down next to her.

“What are we going to do?” Pam looked up, anger blazing in her eyes. “You’re out of FMLA leave. Since only one of us has been working, we don’t have the money to hire a nanny even if we could find one this late in the game.”

“Here, take the Kiddo.” Jim handed Cece over to Pam and opened the computer. He read the email from the daycare and felt his eyebrows furrow just as deeply as Pam’s had. “Yeah, a real dick move there.”

“This sucks,” Pam pouted.

“No argument here,” Jim agreed. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees while cradling his chin in his hands.

Eeyore hopped over and stood up on his hind legs to sniff the air at their feet. Taking a deep breath, Jim leaned down and scratched the rabbit between his ears. Eeyore dropped back to all fours and started lightly grinding his teeth and made a purring type sound. The bunny closed his eyes in contentment as Jim slid off the couch to start stroking Eeyore’s soft fur.

“How many weeks of maternity leave have you actually used?” Jim asked

Pam blew her lips as she considered Jim’s question. “Maybe seven,” she replied. “After your accident we needed one of us getting back to work.”

“Right,” He twisted around and grabbed the computer from off the couch. He quickly pulled up the Saber corporate website and logged into his HR account. He started navigating through pages of execuspeak until he found what he was looking for. The company sick time and personal leave policies.

“Hey hon, take a look at this.” Jim highlighted a portion of the page he was looking at and held the laptop up for Pam to read.

Shifting Cece in her arms, Pam looked at the webpage skeptically. The more she read, the more the frustration drained from her face. “You think that will work?”

“Only one way to find out.” Jim was already pulling out his phone and punching in Toby’s number.

A half hour later both Jim and Pam were feeling decidedly more relaxed. “Thanks again for getting Pam the rest of her maternity leave. Especially for doing all of this on a Sunday evening,” Jim said towards his phone that he’d put on speaker so Pam could also hear.

“It’s my job,” Toby replied. “Besides it’ll probably get under Gabe’s skin a little, but I don’t mind so much.”

“We really appreciate this Toby,” Pam chimed in.

“Yeah, no problem. Take care and we’ll see you when you get back for real this time.”

Jim ended the call and leaned back against the couch. “I was scared there for a second. With the rumors of how much of a work-a-holic Jo can be I thought there was a good chance he’d say no.”

“Me too,” Pam admitted. “It’ll be nice to have the rest of my maternity leave though.”

“Yeah, still seems like twelve weeks is too short a time for a new mother though.”

Pam was about to reply when Cece started to fuss. “Hey, hey, shhhh,” Pam started to soothe Cece.

Jim checked his watch. “Time for her last feeding of the evening?”

“Yeah,” Pam said as she patted at her breasts. “Good thing too. I’m feeling full.”

“I’ll get your pillow.” Jim stood up and walked across the room to retrieve the wrap around pillow Pam used to help support Cece while she fed.

“Thanks honey,” Pam smiled at her husband as she got her daughter settled in front of her.

“No problem.” Jim smiled back and started walking towards the kitchen. “I’ll get your pump set up too for when she’s done eating.”

“You are just simply the best.” Pam’s smile stayed on her face as Jim assembled the parts for her breast pump and set them down on the couch next to her.

“You deserve it,” Jim said lovingly and leaned down to brush some hair off her face before sweetly kissing his wife.

He let out a relieved sigh as he sat down next to Pam. Eeyore had hopped into the center of the room. The rabbit looked around with his nose twitching before flopping to the side in a show of bunny contentment. A grin formed on Jim’s face as he pulled the computer over once more and started to type.

Journals of a Stay-at-home-Dad. Day 13. This will be my last Journal entry as Stay-at-home-Dad. Tomorrow marks an important occasion for the expedition. One I've been looking forward to and at the same time a bit hesitant about. The reason for that is that tomorrow I transition to being Working Dad. The last two weeks have been two of the best weeks of my life. Spending time with Small Human and watching her play and smile all day has been a true joy. All expedition goals have been met. Small Human and Small Rabbit continue to thrive. The domicile has not burned down. The current expedition may be drawing to a close, but the adventure with Working Wife, Small Human, and Small Rabbit will continue.

It was the work of a moment to publish the post on his Wall. Jim set the computer aside once more. He draped an arm over Pam’s shoulders. The grin on his face stayed in place as he sat quietly with his family.

“Did you really expect anything less? I get why you wanted to come in a couple hours later to ease back into work, but seriously Jim, this is Dwight we’re talking about.”

Jim laughed easily at Pam’s teasing voice coming through his phone. “Yeah, you’re right, but to have my desk and your desk around like that? I gotta hand it to the guy, that’s dedication.”

“Did anyone mention this mega desk of his after you got it all cleaned up?”

“Phyllis mentioned that she told Dwight it might not be a good idea, but you know how Dwight can be. The doc guys said he’s already hooked on it.”

“Really?” Pam’s voice sounded confused. “That’s quick, even for him.”

“My guess is that he’s between beet harvests and so there wasn’t much to do out on the farm. He came in early and wanted to use the upgraded internet for gaming and it spiraled from there.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” In the background Cece started to fuss. “Hey I gotta go. Cece needs a diaper change. I’m glad your first sales call went good.”

“Me too,” said Jim as he pulled back into the parking lot of the office. “I just got back so I would have had to let you go anyway. See you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Jim ended the call and put his phone back in pocket. Tucking the new printer contracts into his messenger bag, Jim noticed the HR form to extend Pam’s maternity leave sitting on his seat. He took the back stairwell outside the annex to drop it off for Toby. Glancing through the kitchen, he saw Dwight had moved the desks back to the Megadesk formation while he’d been out on the sales call.

“Hey Toby, can I leave this here with you for a sec?” He held up his messenger bag.

Toby spun in his chair and saw where Jim was looking. “Just don’t break any company property.”

“No problem.”

Walking through the kitchen he paused for an instant before heading towards his desk.

“Nope, no. No. No. No. No. No.”

Dwight heard him walking over and moved to protect his precious desk. “Come on, come on. Five more minutes. Five more minutes of Megadesk. Please.” Dwight’s voice hushed to a whisper with the last word.

In response Jim unceremoniously tipped the framed photos off his desk before pointing to a stack of papers. “Is this your or mine?”

At first Dwight just sat in stunned shock as Jim shoved Dwight’s personal items off his and Pam’s desks. Dwight raising his arms above his head and bellowing his grief for Megadesk, was the final straw that had Michael finally appear at the door to his office.

“Guys! Guys! What’s going on?”

Jim looked over his shoulder with a calm expression on his face. “Nothing, just getting the office cleaned up for when Jo gets here. You know how she hates things being out of order.”

Michael nodded in what Jim knew was attempt to be sage-like. “Good call. Look at you back in the swing of things already. Dwight, help Jim get everything cleaned up.”

Muttering to himself Dwight stood up and helped to disassemble Megadesk. Jim was putting his last framed pictures of Cece on his desk when Jo walked in with her Great Danes.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Thanks again by the way,” Jim said to Jo and clapped Dwight on the shoulder before turning to leave.

Nice try Dwight, he thought to himself. I do kinda feel bad taking off before everyone else, but I do not want to miss any more ironic Cece lip curls.

In no time he was out the door and heading to the car. It didn’t take long for him to arrive back home.

“Hey!” Pam gave him a bright smile as he walked into the living room. She was feeding Cece on the couch. “Welcome back!”

With a sign, Jim flopped down next to her and tilted his head back to lean on the couch cushions.

“Uh oh,” Pam caught his mood right away. “Rough day back?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Jim went on to explain how Dwight’s attempts at getting back at him for breaking up Megadesk, the duo of Dwight and Andy singing “Cat’s in the Cradle,” and Jo’s seemingly tireless work ethic. By now Cece had finished feeding. Jim took off his dress shirt and tie and tossed a burp clothe over his shoulder. Taking Cece he started to burp her while Pam hooked up her breast pump.

“Hey you’re home now.” Pam put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “But of course, you can’t let Dwight have the last word with the whole desk thing.”

Jim looked over and caught her mischievous smirk. He couldn’t help but grin. “I love you so much. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, you’ve already put his desk in the bathroom, did the whole gift-wrapped invisible desk thing, and moved his desk inch by inch closer to the copier. What else could we do?”

Jim let out a small chuckle at the memory of one of his earliest desk related pranks. “I almost forgot about that one.”

Pam smiled at him. “Yeah, except that made him closer to me all day.”

“That inch by inch prank was your idea if I recall,” Jim defended himself with a cocked eyebrow.

“Meh, details,” Pam shrugged.

Cece let out a burp just then before nestling her head on Jim’s shoulder. Warmth flooded through Jim’s heart. “Good one Kiddo.”

His eyes scanned the living room. Clearly Pam had been playing with Cece throughout the day. Next to her play pad several plastic blocks were scattered about. Three of them were stacked to form a triangle. Jim’s lips curled up in a smile. He dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed a familiar number.

“Hey Mark, how’s it going? Good. Yeah, she’s being a sweetheart. No, not heading out this year. I’ve got some Killian’s Irish Red in the fridge so that should be good. Question for you, do you still have those furniture jacks? Great! I’ll make a deal with you. If you don’t mind helping me out tonight, you and Emily can come over, drink my booze, and cuddle Cece all you want. Let me tell you about something I’m going to call Quad-desk.”

An hour later Jim and Mark surveyed their handiwork. They’d had to wait for the office staff to leave before using Mark’s furniture jacks to stack Jim’s desk on top of Dwight and Pam’s desks. The baby-doll furniture they’d liberated from Cece’s room now held a miniature version of Dwight’s desk in the space under Jim’s desk. A sheet of plywood and a stool would allow Jim to perch at the apex of the three stacked desks.

“Thanks buddy,” Jim said to Mark.

“Anytime man,” Mark replied. “Now come on, let’s head back. Can’t let the girls have all the fun with the baby.”

When they arrived back, Mark made a beeline for the fridge. He grabbed two bottles and handed one off to Jim. Together they made their way back into the living room. Cece was asleep in Emily’s arms on the couch. Pam was sitting on the opposite end with her sketchbook open. Jim paused for a moment in the entrance of the living room and a warm smile bloomed on his face.

It was good to get back to work, he mused. But even better to be back home.