The room bathed in nothing but a side lamp, the gentle light cast long dim shadows across Pam’s living room.  She sat on her sofa, gazing at the dog-eared coaster resting in her palms. She stroked the rounded edges with her index fingers and found herself smiling broadly. It had been quite a night.

***

A few hours earlier…

The first that Pam knew of the imminent seismic changes to her life was the moment that Jim barrelled through the door of the conference room to ask her out for dinner. Whatever she’d managed to bury down deep inside, that simple question:

 “Are you free for dinner tonight?”

…was enough to bring those tamped-down feelings exploding straight back up to the surface, sending her equilibrium totally off-balance. As soon as his question registered beyond the disbelief of seeing him, all she could do was respond instinctively:

 “Yes!”

The immediate blush that came to her cheeks, the moistness that she suddenly felt in her eyes, the the involuntary radiance that materialised as a smile on her face, however strong she now felt in herself, every other thought just fizzled away after the single action of the man she’d had such intense feelings for, for so long, asking her on what sounded like… a date? That’s even what he’d called it.

A date. 

In the meantime, she had so many questions, and to that end, serious doubts.  What was Jim doing back in Scranton so early? Where was Karen? Did one of them get the job? Why did he call it a date? Was he going to tell her he was moving to New York, and this was some sort of consolation dinner? OK, you’re jumping way ahead of yourself, Beesly. No doubt she’d find out about all that later, but for now she was simply stunned.

The camera crew took in Jim’s room invasion and her subsequent reaction with glee. They had all the footage they needed and decided to let Pam go there and then - this was going to be absolute dynamite when it came to air. From their perspective, they could not have scripted a better segment. The production team’s only regret was that they were about to hit an eight-week filming hiatus, so they would just have to wait until after the break to see how everything panned out.

Before she left the room, a happily shell-shocked Pam took a moment to compose herself, taking a few deep breaths and schooling her features to something less stupefied. She took herself back to her reception desk where she sat for a moment, still processing what had just happened. It wasn’t long before Jim reappeared from the direction of the break room with a couple of cans of grape soda and an almighty grin on his face. He leant over the desk slightly in a way he hadn’t really done in a year, giving her one of the sodas he did, his hand lingering for just a moment as he handed it to her. He spoke clearly, but quietly and discreetly, for her ears only.

“So Beesly, is six-thirty OK to pick you up? Text me your address.”

“Sure.” She noted the cans, including the one being passed to her and her eyes flicked up to his, smiling gently at him. “Thank you. You back on the grape soda now?”

“Yep. I’ve really missed these… and I feel that now is the time to reaffirm my feelings for…” he paused for a moment and locked eyes with her, “grape soda.”

“Oh. I see.” Her smile took on a slightly mischievous quality. “Good to know."

***

Pam bounced on her heels in front of the bedroom mirror, fussing over invisible threads that were clearly not actually hanging down from any real seams. She was about to go out on a date, as a bona-fide single woman, with a man who’d been the focus of her dreams for years (no point in kidding herself anymore, she’d been fighting those feelings for Jim long before she’d left Roy) and there was nothing wrong with appreciating that fact. Denial was definitely only a river in Africa these days, she reminded herself dryly.

As her alarm clock flicked over to 6.19pm, Pam was putting the finishing touches to some light make-up and clothes she’d weighed up as between ‘casual’ and ‘dressed to get Jim’s attention’, even though she wasn’t entirely sure exactly what was going on between them. Clearly, there was something going on between them now. There was no way he’d have called it a date otherwise, nor made what was clearly a loaded comment as he’d handed her one of those sodas. She expected that something fundamental had shifted, he’d indicated as such, but until it was clear, there was no way she was going to be the ‘other woman’; although to be fair, that had never been Jim’s style before. It couldn’t hurt to make a bit of an effort either way though, just in case, to let him know what he was missing.

She’d taken out her barrette and combed her fingers through her curls, letting her hair cascade down her shoulders. She was going to brush and blow-dry out her hair some more before clipping it back in, but then vaguely recalled letting her hair down once in the office to show Kelly how she was thinking of styling it for her wedding. Before Michael had commented in typically creepy fashion, out of the corner of her eye, as she’d tried precisely not to make eye contact with Jim, her eyes had flicked to him for a brief moment out of habit and he’d definitely noticed. He’d looked haunted; she’d later recognised it in herself in the past few months whilst he’d been dating Karen – that look was burned in her brain.

With that look on her mind, her barrette was put in the drawer for the night, and she put the diffuser onto her hair dryer to move her look from just 'messy' to tousled ‘Meg Ryan circa 1989’. In the end she’d gone with slim-fit jeans and a V-neck t-shirt that just dipped enough to suggest a little cleavage without being what she would have considered slutty on a first date, even though it was Jim. Pam had a moment where her inner self-judgemental Angela glimpsed out, but shoved her back into the nearest available crevice immediately.  She expected that he may not even think of this as their first date, she remembered; thinking back to a flirtatious lunch at Cugino’s, a drunken kiss at Chilli’s, a night on a rooftop with grilled cheese sandwiches that had been far more romantic than it should have been, but for her, this was absolutely their first date. No fiancés. No girlfriends. No barriers.

She carried a fairly heavyweight cardigan as the temperature would likely drop to the high forties, as it often still did on a Pennsylvanian May night. This was all paired with some black kitten heels to give herself an extra inch of height but not feel like she was tottering about. She was not a high-heels person.

Pam stared at her reflection critically; but struggled to find anything wrong. Hair, clothes, makeup - all were pretty damn near perfect. She had to admit to herself: she looked great. She realised that she felt confident... and she didn’t have a clue what to expect from the evening. Keep an open mind, Beesly, she told herself out loud. She wandered into her living room, sat on the sofa, picked up an art book from her coffee table and started to leaf through it, trying to ignore the nervous tension coursing through her body.

***

Pam didn’t have to wait more than a few moments before the doorbell rang and as she opened the door right on six-thirty, she found a far more nervous-looking Jim than three hours earlier, holding a pretty bunch of mixed tulips. His eyes lit up at seeing her. He looked extremely cute with his hair cut all tidy and an expectant look on his face. He’d changed into a more casual shirt and had his sleeves rolled back up in that way that had always driven her crazy. God, she'd missed that. She tried not to look too dazzled at the handsomely pleasing view.

There was a moment where they just gazed at one another, each taking in what was in front of them.

“Oh,” Jim held out the flowers, seemly remembering why he was there. “These are for you. You look great, by the way”, he added earnestly.

“Thank you.” Whilst what she really wanted to do was pull him in through the front door and kiss him senseless, it was way too early to make the assumption that this was an option, but Pam figured it wouldn’t hurt to be a little forward, especially seeing as they’d hugged a few days before at the beach and re-established something approaching a semblance of their friendship again. The way he’d looked at her upon his arrival added another piece to this confusing jigsaw. She decided to take the chance, reached up to pop a gentle kiss on his cheek, and she noticed that he blushed a little in response.

“You wanna come in for a sec while I put these in a vase?”

“Sure, thanks.” Jim followed her through the door and she heard him shut it carefully behind him. She walked into her kitchen, opening a cupboard and taking out a vase that she filled with water and carefully popped the flowers in, absent-mindedly arranging them about a little before putting the whole ensemble on her dining table, where they sat, looking suitably cheery as she admired them with a warm feeling.

“These are lovely, thank you Jim.”

“I saw them and just thought that, as an artist, you’d like the colours”, he said, sincerity in his tone. She smiled at him again, though there was a slightly awkward silence and nervous smiles whilst they both waited for the other to say something next. Jim broke first. “Um…so you ready to go?”

“Sure. Let me just grab my purse?”

“OK.” He looked around the room. “You have a nice place, just the one kitchen, but it’ll do!” he called after her, hearing her laugh. Jim glanced down the hall towards her bedroom.  “No guided tour tonight though?” He sounded hopeful.

“Well, you’ve seen most of it. It’s a one-bedroom apartment,” she chuckled. “You can see the rest another time…” Pam called back up the hall to him. She knew she had been guilty of playing flirtatious games with Jim in the past, but freed herself from blame by putting it down to their status as 'best friends' and the ‘harmless banter' that came along with that. In retrospect, she realized that that had been the very defence mechanism she had employed to avoid dealing with her ever growing feelings for him.

*** 

Soon after leaving Roy, her parents promising her that they’d help her find her own apartment, Pam had sat, a little tearfully, in her childhood bedroom, where she would stay for a couple of weeks whilst she got herself organised.  She’d reflected that for far too long she’d used Jim as a more-than-willing surrogate for all the parts of the relationship that Roy had failed at.  In truth, within a few months of their first meeting, he’d become her crutch for just about the entire relationship - minus the sex, not that Roy was particularly good at that either, but that was a line she would never cross. By the time she’d made that startling realisation, Jim was long gone, and Pam could not summon the courage to reach out and tell him any of these revelations.

She’d been right that night at the beach. She shouldn’t have been with Roy for the longest time, and she’d taken way too long to admit that to herself.  Jim professing his love for her at the Casino night had only exposed her own very screwed-up feelings in a sudden and dramatic way that she was just not ready to confront then and there. He was asking her to do something that she just wasn’t ready for.  It had been way too raw to deal with all at once, so she did what she did best back then - avoided dealing with something substantive in her old cowardly way, and the last year had been littered with the painful scars of that great decision. Now she really wanted to find out where she stood before he broke her heart again, or worse still, she broke his. They’d been too good at doing that to each other.

Something had clearly happened today in New York, but she didn’t want to misinterpret anything. She checked her purse and made sure the Shrute Buck she’d saved was in there, as she’d grabbed one on her way out of the office that afternoon specifically to show him.  As he walked her to his car, he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and gently took her arm, turning her toward him. He gazed at her intently in a way that she hadn’t seen for a long time, since the night at the makeshift Casino. Like back then, it was directed at her. He took a deep breath. She sensed something seismic was coming. She wasn’t wrong.

“So you should know, I’m not with Karen anymore. I just thought I should clear that up that before we go out tonight.”  The words seemed to burst out of him, like their discharge into the air was the cleanser that removed a toxin that had been stuck inside him. He seemed to relax a little after he’d said it, like a pressure valve had been released.

“OK.” Pam couldn’t suppress a relieved grin, which Jim returned. That broke the ice and answered at least one of her many questions.

***

After they’d got into his car and he started the ignition, they’d stuck to small talk, really to ease themselves both back further into their friendship. They quickly fell into step again, sharing observations and jokes, it felt very natural and once again Pam remembered how much she’d missed their conversations.

“So where are we going?” She asked, gazing out of the window as the streets passed by them.

“Sibio’s in Dunmore.”

“That’s a nice place!” she exclaimed, “Great desserts. That’s always been a Birthdays, Graduations or ‘I passed my Piano exam’ kinda place. Are we celebrating something?” He reached across the console and let his fingers brush over hers for a moment before retracting his hand.

“Yeah. I think we are.” This time, she noticed as Jim smiled to himself, and then glanced across at her in surprise as he took in her previous sentence more thoughtfully. “Wait a second. You played piano…?”

***

“Segnore, Segnora; just a few minutes for your table, please take a seat at the bar. You can take your drinks over with you” the maitre’d advised them as he showed them to a couple of bar stools.

Be careful, Beesly, you have a bad track record on bar stools, or rather falling off them…” Jim sniggered and prodded her gently in the arm. Pam mock glared at him. She had a flash of a moment a long time ago when she’d brazenly kissed him, completely unaware of the impact or significance of doing so. She found herself wanting to repeat that again in the very near future and blushed accordingly, noting Jim’s broad smile as she did. The fact he noticed her blushing was not lost on her.

They ordered drinks and were given menus to peruse. Pam put her drink down on a brightly-coloured, square-shaped coaster with comfortingly rounded corners.

“Oh My God, Jim – they have beets on the menu!” Pam exclaimed as she looked at the gallery of pictures on the back page inside the padded folder.

“That is hilarious! We should ask Dwight if he supplies this restaurant. There must be a prank in there somewhere. We should think of something.” They exchanged a contented look of shared knowledge before they both glanced back at the menu.

“So, anything you fancy?”

“Not the beets”, Jim said flatly. She laughed at him and went back to the menu.

“There are a lot of nice things here”, Pam commented absent-mindedly after another few moments of reading the options, then looked back up to find Jim gazing at her.

“Yes, there are. Some really nice things.” He put his hand over hers like he’d done in the car, but this time kept his hand there. She didn’t pull away and was compelled to lock her eyes back to his. “A lot of things I’d like to try…”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Jim’s tone had drifted an octave lower, his hand now caressing her the soft skin on her palm, his eyes never leaving hers.

“What were you thinking of first?” she asked expectantly.

“Well, I thought maybe we could start with something light…” she looked at him intently as he spoke, glancing up and down between his eyes and his mouth.

“And then?”

“And then move on to something more substantial…” like marriage and babies and about fifty or sixty years of blissful happiness together. She finished that sentence in her head, wondering if he was thinking the same. The way he started to lean in closer and his eyes briefly flicked down to her lips too, she decided it was definitely a possibility and she found herself leaning in toward him, too.

There was a polite cough from behind them.

“Your table is ready.” Jim and Pam pulled apart like guilty teenagers and smiled sheepishly at each other. Pam picked up her drink and for no particular reason other than she’d grown attached to it, her coaster as well.  They followed the Maitre’d to the table. Jim’s free hand didn’t leave the small of Pam’s back the entire time. 

***

“I didn’t tell you, for a short time today I was Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager! Dwight was hilarious today. I missed you actually, you’d have loved it. He made these.”

“You missed me, huh?” Jim smirked.

“Yeah, I did.” She responded plainly, before breaking into a small smile herself. Pam reached down for her purse and pulled out the Shrute Buck she’d saved from earlier.

“Really? Congratulations!” Pam handed Jim the Shrute buck, which he examined carefully. “Holy crap, he put way too much thought into this”, Jim pondered, seemingly quite impressed with what he was seeing.

“Yeah. It was awesome.” Pam proceeded to tell Jim about her day, Dwight’s “History of Paper” lecture that had been surprisingly informative, her pact with what turned out to be the temporary manager; and Andy and Dwight painting Michael’s office black, all in great and animated detail. She suddenly stopped when she realised he was gazing at her with rapt attention.

“What is it? Do I have something on my face?” He shook his head and smiled at her adoringly. Time seemingly stopped. She thought her heart had done the same, the way he was looking at her.

“I absolutely wanna hear about the rest of this, I mean, this is amazing…  probably enough material for several dinners in fact… but I should probably tell you about what happened in New York today.”

“Uh, OK.” She tried to sound nonchalant and failed miserably. “So, how was the interview?” She started to fiddle with the coaster again, just within reach on the table. In the “old” days, when she was engaged to Roy, Pam would often fidget with her engagement ring. That had happened a lot around Jim, she later realised, because she never felt truly comfortable wearing it in front of him. Another sign that those pesky feelings had been hidden in plain sight for a lot longer that she’d admitted. After the ring had gone, it had been replaced by various other objects that would come into her possession. Office supplies had been a favourite to be folded, unfolded and deconstructed, conveniently on tap for eight hours a day, every Monday to Friday. Tonight’s coaster was just another surrogate.

“That went well, actually. Wallace is actually a great guy, terrible taste in sports teams though” Jim chuckled. “It was going great… was a very easy conversation, then he asked to see my sales figures. When I opened my folder, I found this…” and out of his back pocket, he pulled out a familiar looking note and gazed at it, then back at her, the amused smirk she had formed dropping away as she realised just how much love was in his eyes. His voice dropped deeper. “When I saw it, I had a moment of clarity – actually, it was more total distraction to the point where I actually lost my entire train of thought.” He chuckled. “David asked me what I’d miss about Scranton. I told him it was the friendships. Then he asked me about what I wanted in ten years’ time.” Jim’s eyes started to glaze over, just a little.  “All I could think about was our talk at the beach the other day and how proud I was of you for that fire walk, then a million things about you that I love went through my head all at once, and what I’d miss if I left again. Nothing else mattered anymore. I knew I had to come home, so I asked him to remove me from consideration then and there. That’s what you do to me, Beesly.” He gave her the warmest smile and his cheeks reddened, not for the first time that evening.

Pam’s jaw dropped to the floor. What she’d intended with that note was a genuine sign of friendship and affection, she hadn’t expected this. The irony of Karen making her produce all those copies of their documents in the first place fleetingly crossed her mind, Karma coming back to bite Karen on the butt; but even if she’d have wanted to, her mouth was still too fixed open in surprise to change her expression.

Ultimately though, all she was really able to focus on were the words “a million things I love about you”. Beesly, he didn’t say he actually loved you yet.

“I left the office, met up with Karen - because I promised her I would… and broke up with her then and there.”  

Pam stared at him, trying to take it all in a huge amount of potentially life-changing information. She knew he’d told her that he’d split with Karen before they’d even gotten in the car tonight, but the reality of what he was telling her as to how and where it happened was giving her a lot more insight.  If he actually was saying what she thought he was saying, then her world was about to flip on its head. She couldn’t quite believe it. She couldn’t have scripted it any better. She didn’t dare dream.

“Oh.” Was all she could utter.

“She was pretty pissed off.  I offered her a lift back, but she’s decided to stay with her friends, I don’t know when she’s coming back. I’m kind of relieved if I’m honest as that drive would have been awkward.” He pulled a typical Jim smile and a shrug. “Not to mention the fact she called me several choice names that were probably what I deserved. I don’t think there’s any coming back from that.”

“I can imagine.” Pam managed to mumble. Her expression was caught somewhere between shocked and elated. She really couldn’t hide her feelings terribly well anymore when it came to him.

“Yep. We went out last night in the city and I’ll admit, we had a lot of fun, but in that moment, when I stared at my medal, I knew that I didn’t love her, I didn’t want that life.  What she wanted for me, for her – I’m not a big city guy. When I left Scranton… well, you know what I told you at the beach. When I came back… I tried so hard to move on, Pam, I really did. I admit, Karen was always a pleasant distraction, she was very interested, and I was really hurt. She’s not a bad person.”

She finally broke eye contact with him and looked down at the coaster she was still fidgeting in her hand. Pam felt a little guilty on one level. Jim was right, Karen really wasn’t a bad person. She’d just got caught in the crossfire of an extremely poorly timed, but monumentally huge love story.

“Hey.” He put his finger under her chin and gingerly lifted it back up so her eyes could meet his again and continued. “I lied to myself over and over that I didn’t care anymore, that I’d moved on. I did everything I could to avoid us having anything like we’d had before, because it was easier to pretend you meant nothing to me anymore. Then I saw you at Phyllis’s wedding and you looked so pretty…”

Pam nodded. She remembered that night far too well. It had been a nadir in their relationship, the moment when she thought she’d really lost him forever. She didn’t know that he’d had his heart broken again as he watched her leave.

“But then it all seemed to go to crap again, and you left with Roy. So I pushed myself further into the relationship with Karen to keep myself as far away from you as possible. And yes, I was a total jerk about you and Roy, because I was hurting that I’d painted myself into a corner.”  

He sighed and chuckled humourlessly, shaking his head.  “The fact is, that I could never truly move on whilst we were both in Scranton.” He took the coaster out of her hand and put it on the table, and took her hand in his instead, gently rubbing the point where her thumb and index finger met.

“I thought that the New York job might have been that final chance, once and for all. Even Karen said it last night – that there were one too many people in Scranton.”

She felt her heart starting to race at his words and the way he was touching her.

“The thing is though, Pam… I mean,” Jim’s eyes flicked down at her lips for a moment and back up again. “How can you have a successful relationship with somebody… when you’re still in love with someone else?” Pam nodded sagely at him as once again, they started to pull together like opposing poles.

Just then, of course, the food arrived, another moment was lost. However, now gazes were shared, hands were held between courses. It was Pam’s turn to talk, and Jim seemed to be happy to listen. She earnestly spoke of the relief that he was back; yes, it had been a horrible year; and yes, her feelings for him were for way more than friendship.

They shared some basic hopes for the coming weeks and established that this wasn’t going to be the only night they did this. Aside from the handholding and a lot of long, lingering looks, it was all very chaste, but the point was that they were talking like they hadn’t done in a year… and talking about a future together.

With her hands resting in Jim’s for much of dinner after his confession of love, the coaster had been given some respite from Pam’s restless fingers. The corners now frayed, and the image partially peeled away, she found herself picking it up and putting it in her purse. For some reason she sensed it could be a cherished souvenir of their first date that many years later, she would one day show their children with a dreamy sense of fondness when she looked back.

She knew there would be a lot of talking over the coming days and weeks (maybe even months, as they navigated this new beginning) but she wanted to enjoy the night for what it was, too. So, after dinner was over they agreed to head over to a nearby bar, a few minutes’ walk away, and left Jim’s car in the parking lot.

They’d made it about halfway there when Pam stopped dead in the street.  They’d held hands from the moment they’d left the restaurant, but after their confessions, she felt compelled to move things on a little.

“Jim.”

“Pam?” Jim was definitely confused.

“I wanted to thank you for dinner.” And with no further ceremony, she reached up and kissed him firmly and precisely on the lips for several seconds. She pulled back enough to give him the appropriate eye contact. With a glint in her eye, she addressed him.

“I never said this properly tonight, but I want you to know that I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

"Fancy New Beesly, huh?” Jim chuckled, amused at her boldness, but also delighted.

“Yep.”

“Not holding back?”

“Nope. I speak as I find, Halpert.”

“OK.”

“OK.”

***

Matching grins on their faces, they finally made it to the bar, where they found a booth in a fairly dark corner and they were able to sit right up against each other, watching the world go by.  Jim’s arm went round her shoulder immediately and she snuggled into him, resting her hand on his knee. It was a surreal feeling being like this with him having waited so long. They whispered to each other, giggling and flirting, by now the awkwardness long gone. Then, finally, a moment when they caught each other’s eyes, no-one to interrupt them, all bets were off and they finally, properly, kissed.

Pam’s mind pretty much exploded. He was even better than she could remember. Her heart was somewhere in her stomach, which in turn was turning somersaults.

“Wow” was all she could manage, fairly breathlessly, when nitrogen and oxygen intake began to be a problem and they had to reluctantly break apart, their foreheads left gently pressed together.

“Yeah” was all Jim could manage back. Apparently, he’d had a similar reaction.  A moment passed – Pam really wasn’t sure how long, before she found herself participating in another heated kiss that seemed to go on even longer than the first. One kiss turned into two, into three, into four.

This repeated, kisses becoming longer and more passionate each time, hands starting to roam more freely, before Jim finally failed to stifle a yawn.

“Am I boring you?” Asked Pam rather mischievously. She knew he was tired.

“Sorry.” Jim smiled back apologetically. “It’s just been a long day.” 

Pam didn’t want the night to end. However, she also knew Jim had had a long drive back and with everything that had taken place, it had been emotionally exhausting for both of them.

“Probably time to go home.” She responded reassuringly, giving him a gentle peck on his lips. He nodded in agreement.

“Thanks.”

***

The ride back to her apartment was fairly quiet, but Pam noted how Jim’s hand was mainly situated on her knee the entire journey (thank goodness he was driving an automatic) and in turn she kept her hand on his. As they got out of the car, he walked around to her door and pulled her, willingly, out of the car, walking her to her doorstep with their hands clasped, where he set her a step up in front of him. He leaned in to kiss her, wrapping his arms around her, which she facilitated without hesitation. After a few moments of a passionate embrace, she pulled back, looked deep into his eyes and stroked his temple with one hand whilst the other remained around the back of his neck. Jim still had his arms wrapped around her slim waist.

“You know I really want to ask you in.”

“Yeah.” He gazed at her dreamily.

“And you know I can’t… yet. It’s just… ” she thought hard to try to find the best way to say the words without offending him, but the facts were right in front of them. “…You were still with Karen twelve hours ago, Jim.”

“I know.” He looked at her regretfully, but with complete understanding.

“So you know where I’m going with this.” Jim nodded as Pam continued. “We’ve waited this long… another little while won’t hurt. I really want to date you, Jim. Like… seriously date you. Like filling in corporate forms level dating.”

He couldn’t help but pull her in just enough to kiss her on the nose at that statement and she grinned at him, still stroking his face. “I want it all with you. I just think we need a little time before we take things further. I really want this, but I want it without any more complications. It doesn’t have to be super-slow, but not a few hours after you were waking up with someone else.”

“Me too.” They shared a very intense gaze, still wrapped together. “I get it. I want to get this right. I mean, this is it for me.” Pam’s heart leapt yet again.  And you know, this is going to be EPIC, Beesly.” He grinned at her.

“I know. A love story for our times.”

“Romeo and Juliet have nothing on us.”

“Anthony and Cleopatra.”

“Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Hitler and Eva Braun.”

“Oh My God, Beesly! So I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe we can do this again?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Halpert. Yeah, another date.” She grinned at him as he leaned in and pecked her on the lips again. With that, Jim, his own grin still splitting his face, finally walked back to his car.  

***

Pam played with the coaster still in her hand and considered its place in her universe. Tonight had felt like the end of a long journey, but she was grateful at the thought that another was just beginning.

As he sat back on his bed, a cold beer in his hand that he’d picked up from the fridge on his way to bed, Jim reflected on the previous twenty-four hours. It had been one hell of a day, and to that point, quite an evening with Pam. With his Pam. He couldn’t quite believe it.

***

Jim had to be honest with himself, he and Karen had had a fun time the day (and night) before in the city. Tourist Jim had done a lot of things he’d not done since he’d been a boy. Then Evening Jim went to some very cool places that they definitely didn’t have in Scranton, before Bedtime Jim had done some much more grown-up things with Karen, before passing out from exhaustion after a very long day. The fact was though, he knew he’d been evasive with her the night before on the subject of moving to New York, even though consciously he wasn’t quite a hundred percent clear himself on what was holding him back at the time.

That morning he’d woken up in bed without Karen. She was already in the shower when he looked around the room and he could see from the handle that the bathroom door was locked, so there’d been no chance of any pre-interview shenanigans – and so the previous night’s encounter turned out to be the last, and it was absolutely for the best, as it turned out.

Karen had been as affectionate to him as normal in the morning as they got ready, but she was laser-focused on the task at hand. That was clear as they’d eaten breakfast at the hotel with her talk of sales figures and interview strategies.  They’d headed out to corporate early and met Michael at the office. It wasn’t until he reflected on it later that he realised that their last time together the night before had been quite an empty experience. Sure, it had felt good physically, it always did, and he was a gentleman – he hoped that he’d ensured Karen had been left duly satisfied; but he’d not really connected with her. He realised in all the time they’d dated, he’d never actually told Karen he loved her, never looked into her eyes and felt the intangible “thing”, the awe of true love, even in the middle of sex, that he’d felt every day when he’d gazed into Pam’s eyes as he leant across her reception desk for a jelly bean or an excuse to flirt with her. That’s not to say he’d not enjoyed spending time with Karen – she had many great qualities and under normal circumstances she’d have probably been “The One”; but she was lacking in one fundamental way. She wasn’t Pam, and whatever he did to try and ignore it, he couldn’t escape Pam. She was his siren, and he would be lured by her call, whatever destructive end that brought him. He would never be able to truly get over her, even if it meant being miserable for the rest of his sorry life. Pam was his universe and deep down, even in his best times with Karen, he knew it.

Jim had gone into that interview with the best of intent. He knew he was a good candidate. But when that small phone message note with the yoghurt pot lid disguised as an Office Olympics medal appeared in his lap, all bets were off. Every feeling of love and loss he’d had for Pam from the last five years came rushing back to him in High Definition with glorious Dolby Sound and he was blown away. He knew there and then that there was only one possible outcome. He couldn’t deny it any longer. Thank God for that yoghurt lid. Thank God for her. She’d just saved them both and she didn’t even know it yet. But he would tell her as soon as he could.

“Where do you see yourself in ten years’ time?” Jim paused for a moment and smiled as thoughts of beaches, teapots, barrettes and yearbooks bounced around his brain, along with the feel of his arms holding her slim waist and his lips pressed against hers on a May night almost exactly a year ago.

Jim realised that Wallace had clocked his eyes glazing over slightly and that he looked miles away. He’d heard the Siren’s call. There was no going back now. He was hers, absolutely and completely.

“Jim – you OK?”

“David… I’m really sorry to do this, but I have to take myself out of consideration.” Jim’s voice almost drifted along with his thoughts.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I don’t see myself here in New York in ten years. I’d like to stay with the company, but I feel my future lies in Scranton.” Wallace was a little surprised to say the least.

“Really?” He put his pen down with an inquisitive stare.

“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but at some point in the future it’ll make a lot more sense. I don’t want to waste your time when I know that ultimately, even I got the job, my head…” and my heart… Jim noted to himself, “would be somewhere else.”

“OK.” Wallace was still flabbergasted that his top pick had just turned down a sure thing.  “Thank you, Jim. I appreciate your candour.”

“Thanks for the opportunity, Sir.” With that, the interview was suddenly over, they shook hands warmly, Wallace reminded Jim he was still a great asset to the company wherever he was based, and Jim left the building.

***

After the interview, his head spun a little as he collected his thoughts. He knew he had to end things with Karen as quickly as possible. She’d asked him to text her when he was finished, so after a quick relay of messages, he found her, sipping on a Mimosa with a couple of equally cosmopolitan-looking friends at a café near City Hall Park. Her face lit up as she saw him.

“Jim!”

He’d already schooled his features into something he hoped was neutral.

“Hey Karen… and friends of Karen.” He stopped just short of the table, put his hand up in general greeting, gave them all a slightly tight smile and nodded.

“So… how did yours go?” She looked at him expectantly.

“It was good, thanks. How was yours? We didn’t really get a chance to talk properly in reception between our interviews.”

“Yeah, good I think! Let me get you a drink.” She started to look around for a waiter. “Gimme a second…”

“Um… Karen…?” Jim put his hand up and shook his head slightly. He took a half step back from the table. “Can we talk for a minute? Somewhere a little quieter?”

“Sure.” She got up, telling her friends, “I’ll be back in a minute and I’ll introduce you.” She grinned at them over her shoulder as she walked away with Jim, taking his arm as they headed towards the park fountain.

“Hmmm, I wonder who Wallace will pick?” She started to chatter at him. “What would you like to do this afternoon? We still have the room for another night…” suggestiveness crept into her tone. “…And maybe we can go apartment hunting before we leave tomorrow?”  He pulled away from her slightly, letting her arm drop.

“What? Too soon? We can look online first and come back in a couple of weeks.” She smiled expectantly at him.

“It’s not that.” He paused. “Karen…” This was the point that he realised she’d noticed his body language had changed.  He couldn’t hide it anymore. He knew she could read his expression well enough by now to know something was very wrong.

“I know that face. What is it? Did it actually go really badly? Because you know, that’s OK, Jim. You’ll get something else. I’ll be in corporate-”

“It’s not that,” he interrupted. “I took my name out of consideration.” Jim did the most Jim thing possible under the circumstances, pulling an awfully familiar face of discomfort, before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, then looking away to avoid further eye contact with her.

“You did WHAT?” Karen was clearly shocked.

“Took my name out of consideration.”

“I heard that. I mean... was that for me? Because you really didn’t have to-”

“It wasn’t. Look, I’m sorry Karen, there’s really no easy way to say this…” Her face dropped. She knew immediately.

“You bastard…” she spoke quietly but firmly.

“Karen… I’m sor-.”

“-You goddam bastard asshole. You KNEW! You knew before you even came to New York!”

“I didn’t!” Jim found his voice was rising in frustration, so he breathed out before continuing, lowering his voice and his volume again accordingly. “I really didn’t. I woke up this morning genuinely ready for this interview. But… something just clicked when I was sitting with Wallace and it changed everything. I’m sorry. I just don’t see a future for me here in New York.”

Karen just froze. She went to speak but nothing came out. Jim saw his chance to continue.

“You deserve more than this, Karen. You are worthy of someone who loves you like you are everything to them. You are smart and funny and beautiful-”

“It’s her, isn’t it.”  She sounded more tired than anything else.

“It was a lot of things, but yes, she was part of the decision. I tried really hard, I mean… shit, this is coming out wrong. Karen, you are great, but I can’t pretend any more. The things you want are not the things I want.  I can’t be who you want me to be. Maybe I’m too much of a slacker-“

“Yeah, that’s true” she interjected with some resentment.

“The point is… I got very homesick when I was in that interview and realised: it’s one thing to be a tourist in New York, but quite another to live here. I just don’t see myself here with anyone, or even by myself. It’s just too busy and too crazy for me.” Karen rolled her eyes.

“So you want to go back to Sleepy Scranton forever? Have babies with Pam, get a nice little house with a back yard and go to Little League games, be a paper salesman forever? Yeah, sounds like a dream.” Karen’s voice was now dripping with sarcasm.

“You know, that is exactly what I want to do… well, maybe except the long-term career in paper sales, but that’s just fine for now, too.”  There was a long and awkward silence.

“So that’s it then? That’s all you have to say? You dick! I wasted seven months…” Jim sighed.

“No one asked you to come to Scranton, Karen. You made a pretty big deal about wanting to follow me.”

“You LET me! And then YOU asked me out AFTER I got there!” Jim sighed. She had a point. He’d led her on a bit. Actually, he’d led her on a lot. He looked at her sympathetically.

“You know, you are right. And I am genuinely sorry that this became what it did. But I can’t do this anymore. You knew I still had feelings for her. I even admitted that to you when you asked me straight. When I sat in the interview, David asked me some questions about what I wanted, and it triggered some feelings I’d buried way down for a long time. If it hadn’t happened now, they would’ve come out at some stage in the future and we’d have both ended up miserable in the end. I don’t want to do that to you. Better now than later.”

“Better now than later?!” Karen shook her head at him.

“Think about it, I couldn’t even commit to moving here when we talked about it last night.” He thought it better not to mention Pam’s note being the final nail in that particular coffin this morning.

“Screw you, Jim” she sighed, seemingly in defeat. He probably deserved at least some of what she was saying. He’d been unfair to her, stringing her along to his own selfish ends, and he recognised that.

“Look, um… I’m driving back this afternoon. Did you want a lift?”

“Are you kidding me?  Three hours of sitting in a car with someone who, quite frankly, I’d be happy to bludgeon with a blunt instrument right now? So no, thank you. I will take my chances with my friends, drown my sorrows, then get the train back to Scranton and decide my future. So go home, Halpert. Go home to your crappy town and your crappy branch, and your crappy recep-”

“Don’t say it! Karen, you can insult me all you want, but leave Pam out of this. Please. This is not her fault.” Karen’s eyes widened and her shoulders lifted.

“Not her fault? NOT HER FAULT?! Are you kidding me?! This is absolutely her fault, not to mention yours. She bats her eyelids at you a little and you moon over her like a teenager! ‘Ooooh Jim, I’ve just walked over hot coals and found myself! Aw, Jim, you’re not my best friend anymore. I’m sad. Be my friend, Jim.’ You are pathetic. You know, you deserve each other!” She shook her head, seemingly resigned to her their fate.  “Just go.” He went to open his mouth, but Karen put hand up first.

“Go. Please.”

Before he could react any further, Karen held her head up, pulled her shoulders back and started to march back to her friends. Jim stood in shock for a few moments before realising he had no reason to delay any further and returned to the hotel to collect his things and retrieve his car. He actually felt relieved more than anything, maybe a little sad. He recognised that this chapter of his life had come to an end at the expense of someone who hadn’t deserved to get hurt. However, as bad as he felt about the way things had ended with Karen, (not that he expected her to have just hugged him and wish him the best) he felt some apprehension, because actually, there was no absolute guarantee that Pam wanted him. But he also felt incredibly hopeful about a future that had suddenly cleared right in front of him. He was willing to take that gamble.

***

When he looked back on it later, sitting on his bed after his date with Pam, Jim couldn’t honestly remember exactly what had gone through his mind on the journey back to Scranton from New York. It seemed to form a mostly amorphous blob in his brain called “My thoughts of Pam” that had a million elements to it, all swirled together, though this description neither did the intensity of those thoughts nor the depth of his twisting emotions justice. He knew she had some feelings for him, although he wasn’t sure quite how far they went. Enough for her speech at the beach, at least, he figured, but he could hope it was more. Hell, he had enough hope in his heart for an entire army.

He drove back to Scranton quite carefully, especially under the circumstances. Nothing like “driving to his destiny” only to total his car under a truck to kill the vibe. Quite frankly though, it wouldn’t have mattered in any case. Even Karen’s vicious, but ultimately not unreasonable meltdown over the conclusion of their relationship couldn’t do anything to temper his determination. He was going home.

Home to his town.

Home to his girl - the real one, not the fabrication of a relationship he fooled himself was real for the last seven months, with a girl who was perfectly fine - better than fine in fact, but just not for him.

Home to his future.

Hell, he’d been such a fool. He slapped the steering wheel in a moment’s frustration at himself, before composing himself again and allowing himself a smile as he realised that his future was in his own hands.

***

He had a number of opening lines whirling around in his head in the car.

“Hi Pam, I withdrew from consideration from the job and I came back because I can’t stop thinking about you just about every second I’m awake, and sometimes even in my sleep.”

“Hi Pam, I dumped Karen and now I’m back to sweep you off your feet.”

“Hi Pam, I’m back for good and I’m still in love with you.”

“Hi Pam, will you marry me?” OK, maybe the last one was too soon, but it’s not like he hadn’t thought about it multiple times…

***

He scanned the office as he entered – Pam wasn’t at her desk. In fact, it was notably quiet.

“Hey Tuna!”  heard Jim as he looked around the room, eventually seeing Andy emerge from the direction of the break room. “How did the interview go?”

“Hey Andy. Is Pam around?”

“She’s in the conference room with the crew doing a talking-” he wasn’t given the time to finish his sentence.

“Thanks Man!”

Thankfully, as he burst through the door of the conference room, it turned out that the Occam’s Razor approach served him best, although the one second pause between his “Are you free for dinner tonight?” and her “Yes” felt like an eternity. He tapped his fingers against the door frame in relief as he registered her response and left her to finish up her interview. She would surely be out in a few minutes and then plans could be made. For them. For a date. He heard himself say the words and just caught the beginnings of her reaction.

Suddenly, everything felt different. He couldn’t help the “It’s a date” that slipped out of his mouth as he left. Just so she knew there was something different.

Jim’s throat had dried up from the tension of the last few hours, so he took a trip to the break room vending machine, his eyes flicking along the lines of products until he found what he was looking for. He popped a couple of dollars into the machine and twice pressed the button for grape soda.

By the time he returned to the main office, Pam was back at her desk. Time to make those plans. Time to show a little of his hand, at least. He walked up to her reception desk with a broad smile and two cans…

***

After a phone call to Sibio’s, an upmarket Italian restaurant in Dunmore, for an early evening table for two, Jim raced home to prep for his date with Pam.

Holy shit, it really is a date, he realised as he stood in the shower, lathering up the gel before scrubbing his torso to remove the dirt of the city and a general desire to cleanse himself of, well, everything from the last year. He couldn’t get Pam out of his head and he had to be careful not to allow the repressed arousal that was now free to flourish, get the better of him as he allowed the water to cascade down his toned body. He focused on baseball stats, then thought intensely of Dwight, and turned the water colder until the feeling went away enough for him to finish up. There would be time for that. In fact, he hoped, they would have all the time in the world.

Standing in his bedroom in a fresh pair of Jockeys, he decided on a casual shirt, left untucked; a sports jacket with his jeans, and a pair of Vans. He applied a little aftershave and combed his hair. Jim figured that as Pam said she’d liked it the previous morning when he’d appeared, to everyone’s surprise, looking short and tidy, he might as well keep it like that for a little while. He had a fleeting wave of guilt about Karen. That haircut had been her idea and it had probably been a good one, even though in his heart he knew it wasn’t really him. Another reason that he was right to turn down the job in Corporate and finish things with her. The feeling departed as quickly as it had arrived. He wasn’t going to deny himself real happiness any longer.

He took a final look in the mirror. He smiled at himself. He looked ready. He felt ready. More importantly? His smile went all the way to his eyes for the first time in over a year.

Jim locked up his apartment in good time and drove to Pam’s via a supermarket to grab her some decent flowers. As he searched for the right thing, looking at roses (too cheesy for a first date), carnations (he wasn’t a spy), lilies (not going to a funeral) he saw a bunch of jolly-looking tulips in several colours. He knew in that moment that the artist in her would like them. Maybe she might even paint them. So that’s what he bought.

As he pulled into the car park in Pam’s apartment block at 6.27pm, Jim realised that nerves were starting to take hold. He took a moment to steady himself. You’ve got this, Halpert. You love her. And you’re pretty sure she probably loves you too.

A deep breath.

A knock on the door.

A door that opened to carefully mussed hair that was down (oh God, the last time she wore it like that he was ready to die as she ran her fingers through it to loosen it from her barrette; he could imagine running his own fingers though it already), big green eyes gazing at him in expectation, a snug t-shirt that dipped enticingly…  eyes up, James! Cute, tight jeans that seemed to mould to her body in a way that made him involuntarily lick his lips; and finally, bare feet covered by some low heels. She wore just enough makeup to look like she’d made an effort without being over the top. She looked stunning. Short of grabbing her and kissing her senseless, all he could think to do was hold out the flowers to her and compliment her, which was just about the easiest thing requiring the least brain power, as he was too in awe to think of anything witty. He couldn’t help but blush when she reached up to kiss his cheek in appreciation.

After she’d put the flowers in a vase and given him a whirlwind tour (far too quick, in his opinion) of her apartment, she grabbed her purse and a thick sweater, and they left for the restaurant. Then it occurred to him. He should tell her. Make it clear. No more Karen. He hadn’t told her anything much at the office which Jim realised was probably causing her a lot of confusion.

As he walked her to his car, he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and gently took her arm, turning her toward him. He stared at her intently, the words almost bursting out of him as he relished their importance on their future.

“So you should know, I’m not with Karen anymore. I just thought you should know that before we go out tonight.” There. He’d said it. He felt huge relief because he’d put it out there. No more blocks between them.

“OK.” He noted the broad smile that naturally emerged on Pam’s features and in his head, he punched the air in celebration as his grin matched hers.

***

She’d seemed pleased when he told her they were going to Sibio’s, well known locally as a long-time ‘occasion’ restaurant. He was fascinated, but not that surprised that she knew of it and delighted when she clearly thought it was special. He thought he knew so much about her; but finding out that she’d played piano, this was new to him and he assumed there would be more to learn. And he was eager to find out more and hear her play... and discover what else he didn’t yet know.

They were distracted by other topics that night and it was only weeks later as they lay in bed with her fingers delicately running up and down his arm, he asked her about the piano again. She told him that she’d had lessons for about 4 years as a young teen and reached Trinity grade 3, at which point she’d stopped as other distractions had taken over. Jim was a little disappointed at first, but soon gratified when Pam then put her fingers to use on him in a much more practical way...

They flirted at the bar, Jim gaining the confidence he needed to start to get things moving. They laughed at the beets on the menu, and as Pam pondered what to have, a cute little ‘v’ forming at the bridge of her nose as she tried to work out what she wanted. Holy crap, she was adorable.

“There are some really nice things on this menu” she pondered over the long list of dishes.

“Yes, there are. Some really nice things.” He felt brave, so he put his hand over hers - he'd briefly done that in the car, too; but this time kept his hand there. She didn’t pull away and he noted her eyes lift to his and stay there. “A lot of things I’d like to try…”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Jim’s tone had drifted an octave lower, his hand now caressing her the soft skin on her palm, his eyes never leaving hers.

“What were you thinking of first?”

“Well, I thought maybe we could start with something light…” he watched her eyes flick between his own and down to his mouth as he spoke.

“And then?”

And then move on to something more substantial…” like marriage and babies and about fifty or sixty years of blissful happiness together. He finished that sentence in his head, wondering if she was thinking the same. He couldn’t help but start to lean in closer and his eyes flicked down to her lips and back again, his heart skipping a beat as Pam leaned in toward him, too.

At which point, of course, the maitre’d announced their table was ready and the moment was lost. Again. They’d had too many of those. They’d both been idiots. She’s been scared and he’d been stubborn. However, this time Jim finally felt like things would end better.

He wanted to tell her everything. How he felt about New York, Scranton, her… and them. But in the meantime, he was content to listen to her enthusiastic recalling of the Day of the Shrute Buck and other associated tales. He was mesmerised, watching her closely as she described each event in eloquent detail, her face lighting up at regular intervals as she remembered certain moments that she needed to tell him. If he thought he’d been in love before, even with Pam herself, he’d totally underestimated the true extent of his feelings once the dam of misunderstanding and heartache had finally broken. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. She seemed to finally catch the look of devotion in his eyes and he had his chance. So he took her hand and he told her what happened in New York. He told her everything.

She watched and listened intently, nodding periodically at some key points, wincing just slightly when Karen’s name inevitably came up. But when he reached the end of his explanation and he noted that as he’d confessed his love for her, she’d pulled in towards him at the same moment he’d done to her. Just when he thought they’d finally get their moment, the waiter bought their food over. However, this brought other opportunities.

Through dinner, he allowed himself to listen - really listen to her as she’d talked about how she’d felt over that past year.

How she’d realised after he’d kissed her that night in the office that she’d had much stronger feelings for him than she’d ever allowed herself to admit, how hard it was to finally face the truth of those feelings and accept just how long she’d had them.

How she’d called it off with Roy within a week of Casino night, but (and he knew they would have to work through this one over the coming weeks) his not giving her any time to work out what she wanted, meant that by the time she’d formulated a plan to leave Roy, he was already out the door to Stamford.

How she’d missed Jim so much whilst he was away, especially after she’d reconciled herself to her true feelings.

The chaos of Diwali, and how she’d longed to tell him all about the craziness of that night, longed for him to be there to share it with her.

The misunderstanding the night that he had called and they’d talked for hours, before she’d said goodnight to Ryan on his way out of the office and Jim thought she was dismissing him. That bought up a few tears but he reached over and wiped her cheek gently with his thumb - she shared a beautiful but watery smile with him.

How hard it was to see him with Karen, but that she’d reconciled herself to having lost him romantically, and she recognised the irony of that after everything that had come to pass at that point.

That she was more than pleased they were here now.

That she wanted more than one dinner with him.

That he was kind of the most important person in her life. She grinned at him through more glistening eyes as she’d said it.

“You get it, right?” He nodded. He did. 

All the time they were having this conversation, he had been holding her hand with his.  She’d not pulled away once.

God, he wanted to kiss her so damn much, but he knew that after multiple interruptions, Sibio’s was not going to be the place to do that. After they’d somehow got themselves through dessert without simultaneously combusting with the underlying tension between them, Jim asked for the cheque.

“Would you like to go on somewhere else?

“Yes, that’d be nice.”

“I know a great dive bar not far from here.”

“Wow, a dive bar. You really know how to treat a girl, Jim.” She chuckled. Her face turning more serious, with a glint in her eye, she added, “Sounds good.”

He noticed Pam had been fiddling with the same coaster all through dinner.

“Are you going to give that coaster a break?”

“Actually I’m contemplating adding it to my teapot items.”

“Oh.”

“I’m just going to put it away.” Jim felt a small frisson of excitement as he recognised that this evening, this moment, was as important to her as it was to him. That simply blew him away. It had been really difficult for so long, knowing he loved this woman, having to watch her without ever being able to really tell her how he felt, just little scraps that fell into his lap for such a long time. And yet there they now were, on the cusp of something huge, and she was right there with him.

***

It was just a short walk to the bar, but they didn’t make it straight there.  One minute they were walking hand-in-hand and the next, Jim found himself stopped in the middle of the sidewalk with Pam holding his arm with intent.

“Jim.”

“Pam?” Jim was definitely confused.

“I wanted to thank you for dinner.” And with no further ceremony, she reached up and kissed him firmly and precisely on the lips for several seconds before pulling back, with a glint in her eye when she addressed him.

“I never said this yet tonight, but I want you to know that I feel exactly the same way.”

“Fancy New Beesly, huh?” Jim chuckled, amused.

“Yep.”

“Not holding back?”

“Nope. I speak as I find, Halpert.”

“OK.”

“OK.”

He took her hand again and they walked, glancing at each other periodically, both involuntarily smiling.

***

The bar was happily fairly quiet for a Thursday, most of the patrons watching the baseball, so they had no trouble finding a table in a dark corner where they could snuggle up without fear of being disturbed. Drinks ordered, Jim had his arm around Pam in a moment, and before long, her hand was resting on his knee, gently caressing it over the fabric of his jeans. Their talk was funny and intimate, until the loaded looks reached a point where the overwhelming tension between them was just too much again and they could no longer hold their attraction for each other at arm’s length.

The first kiss was gentle and chaste. Just a gentle mutual lean in, a brush of lips for a few seconds just like Pam had done to him on the walk over, before they pulled apart, grinning like idiots.  Jim felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Before he knew it, Pam had leaned in again for a repeat performance, but this time, she grabbed for his lapels and ran her fingers through his hair as their tongues met. He bought his hand up to her cheek and as they kissed again, the sheer magnitude of not just the kiss, but everything it represented, was added to it.

“Wow.” Pam looked positively dazed.

“Yeah.” Was all he could come up with in response when they pulled apart once more. All pretence of sophistication flew out of the window and he went in to kiss her again and again.

They spent a long time making out in the bar, until the point where Jim’s exhaustion, from what had been a pretty intense day, finally caught up with him. After both sets of hands had started to roam, Jim couldn’t help but stifle a yawn.

 “Am I boring you?” asked Pam questioningly, but with a definite hint of humour. She pulled back just a little to look at him.

“Sorry.” Jim smiled back apologetically. “It’s just been a long day.” 

Jim didn’t want the night to end. Unfortunately, the long drive and experiences of the day had taken their emotional toll, exhausting them both and no matter how they fought it, fatigue was winning the battle for their attention.

“Probably time to go home.”  Pam responded reassuringly, pleasingly giving him a gentle peck on his lips. He nodded in agreement and put his arm around her as he waved for the drinks bill.

“Thanks.”

***

They drove back to Pam’s apartment in quiet contentment, aside from a typical Jim mixtape washing over the noise of the engine. Jim put his hand on Pam’s knee and smiled gently as he glanced across at her. She didn’t appear to mind and he quietly thrilled as he felt her hand on his. As they got out of the car, he walked around to her door and pulled her, willingly, out of the car, walking her to her doorstep with their hands clasped, where he set her a step up in front of him. He leaned in to kiss her, wrapping his arms around her as he did. She reacted in kind. After a few moments of a passionate embrace, she pulled back, looked deep into his eyes and stroked his temple with one hand whilst the other remained around the back of his neck. Jim still had his hands wrapped around her slim waist.

“You know I really want to ask you in.”

“Yeah.” He gazed at her dreamily. He really wanted to carry on this particular conversation. Preferably on her couch. Or maybe in her bed. That made him sound like a total man-whore in his own head but when it came to her, he just didn’t care. He was already putty in her hands.

“And you know I can’t… yet. It’s just…” Jim could see her struggling to find a diplomatic way to get the words out. She seemed to give up in the end and just say it. “…You were still with Karen twelve hours ago, Jim.”

“I know.” He looked at her regretfully, but he got it. She was right.

“So you know where I’m going with this.” Jim nodded as Pam continued. “We’ve waited this long… another little while won’t hurt. I really want to date you, Jim. Like… seriously date you. Like filling in corporate forms level dating.” He couldn’t help but pull her in just enough to kiss her on the nose at that statement and she grinned at him, still stroking his face. “I want it all with you. I just think we need a little time before we take things further. I really want this, but I want it without any more complications. It doesn’t have to be super-slow, but not a few hours after you were waking up with someone else.” He stopped himself from telling her that technically he’d woken up alone. Details like that weren’t important.

“Me too.” They shared a very intense gaze, still wrapped together. “I get it. I want to get this right. I mean, this is it for me.” He felt completely at ease telling her this.   “And you know, this is going to be EPIC, Beesly.” He grinned at her.

“I know. A love story for our times.”

When they reeled off even increasingly inappropriate lovers, he knew he was entirely gone. And it would be OK to wait for a little while. Their time would come, and soon.

“Oh My God, Beesly!” He chuckled as she tipped their list over the edge into creepy Nazis.  So I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe we can do this again?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Halpert. Yeah, another date.” She grinned at him as he leaned in and pecked her on the lips again. With that, Jim, his own grin still splitting his face, finally walked back to his car.

***

Jim had come full circle with his thoughts. It had been a remarkable day. He picked at the label on his bottle. She wanted to date him. Seriously date him, she’d said. He was going to blow her mind.

On an early June Sunday morning, Pam was propped up in bed, with Jim as her back rest as she nestled between his legs, leaning her back against his bare chest. He, in turn, was braced against the headboard, his arms wrapped firmly around her with his head aligned with hers, resting lightly on her shoulder. Every so often his lips touched down on her skin to kiss any and all accessible spots within his reach. Pam stared at the newspaper in thought as she gently chewed the end of the pen she held, considering the sudoku in front of them. Somewhere in the background, Turin Brakes played quietly, Jim deciding that their recent release, Dark on Fire, was the best album for all sorts of reasons for this particular lazy morning.

“See, I don’t think that box can have a nine in it.”

“No?” He nuzzled against her as his voice rumbled low against her ear. He took an opportunity to nip at her earlobe, making her giggle. “Then what’s in this box?” She held back on her desire to yell out “That’s what she said!” and instead replied chastely:

“A four.” She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she wrote in the answer, which he found adorable, and took the opportunity to steal another kiss from her. Pam pushed him away with a smirk and gamely continued to try and complete the puzzle, but by the time they’d reached the album’s title track, his hands were roaming upwards from where he had had them resting on her stomach, soon finding their way under her tank-top on a direct path to her breasts, as his lips simultaneously hit the sweet spot on her neck that always made her shudder when he kissed her there.  The sudoku was soon forgotten as his boxer-briefs found their way to the floor in a messy heap along with the tank top, her panties and the newspaper. The pen ended up rolling under the bed and they only found it again months later, when they were moving Pam’s things out to store at Jim’s whilst she was in New York. That same pen ended up in the box with the beer coaster, though Pam wasn’t sure quite how she’d explain that one’s significance to their future children.

***

They’d taken things at a pace that suited them. They’d had a lot of ground to make up, emotions to work through. Although it was all now almost impossibly perfect, to have ignored what had gone before, to not work through those thoughts… would have been foolish and probably led to more misunderstandings and heartache. Thankfully, this time, they were communicating properly, and both recognised the need to work through the last year and more. Over those first few weeks, they addressed many of the unarticulated feelings that had been brewing for the last five years. It was needed. Some they did together, some alone.

Pam reflected on taking four years to realise her true feelings, then another year to screw it all up. She held herself back when she should have taken no prisoners and gone for what, or rather, whom, she really wanted much sooner, before finding herself suddenly in what seemed to be Nirvana, almost with a snap of her fingers in its spontaneity. It was a lot to take in. She struggled with an internal debate that maybe she had needed to go through the pain she’d endured to grow and learn about herself enough that when Jim had burst through that door, she was ready for him. Pam realised she’d come such a long way in that year, even with the heartbreak that had come with it. However, that didn’t stop the intense regret she still felt at turning him down almost exactly a year earlier. She couldn’t help but mourn a little for that lost time, especially when she understood exactly what she now had and how she might have had it sooner if she’d been that bit braver.

Weeks later, Pam would gaze at Jim sleeping soundly next to her and wonder why the hell she hadn’t gained some courage earlier. She would reach out for him in the night, particularly in those early days, just leaving her hand resting against his arm, his back or his chest, needing to be physically connected to him in some way, to confirm he was a genuine, corporeal being and not just a figment of her imagination. Happily, he didn’t seem to mind, and she wondered if he felt the same need of attachment.

***

Jim was also coming to terms with finally getting what he wanted. It still consumed him, just as it had done in all the time that he’d pined for her unrequitedly. In rare moments alone in those first few weeks, he would long for her in her short absences away from him, for example, to run an errand or complete the occasional art assignment without him there beside her. Sometimes it still felt weird to be able to reach out to her and not have to check his feelings or his physicality with her anymore. He would wrap his arms around her when they were lounging at home – which was now was whoever’s place they were at, and just inhale, the simple fragrances of the shampoo and perfume she’d used for years triggering the most incredible evocations of love and security in him.

This relationship being real? It was something he’d never dare dreamed he’d ever truly have before they were finally together, and he admitted to himself that that emotional chasm had included his time with Karen. To admit that was a relief to acknowledge honestly in himself. This was something he didn’t think she understood, not yet anyway, of just how she made him feel simply being near her.

Sometimes he worried that now he had what he wanted - that the chase was over, he’d wake up one morning and feel something was missing. That’s how he’d always felt with Karen. He’d liked her, but he always felt incomplete, and that’s how he’d known that his heart was really elsewhere.  But with Pam, that hopelessness never came, just wave after wave of happiness, desire and contentment. Not only did it not stop, but the feelings just became even more intense, like some sort of drug. He’d had a taste and now he was addicted, needing ever-greater hits just to feel normal. He wondered just how he’d ended up with this - what was she to him now?  Everything, he surmised. Girlfriend was simply not an adequate term. Wife might start to get close, and he’d already taken care of one element of that thought, remembering the small velvet box he now had hidden in the sock drawer in his bedroom.

***

In the office, they channelled every last ounce of self-discipline to maintain a pretence of normality for several weeks. Karen had returned and left again within just a couple of workdays, but not before she’d chewed Jim out loud enough for the entire office to hear. Of course, that wasn’t awkward at all for Pam - not the furtive glances from Andy and Oscar, the daggers look from Angela, or Kevin’s general confusion in her direction. She maintained a game face of mild interest with a note of nonchalance, something she’d mastered a long time ago after she’d hidden those nascent feelings towards Jim just weeks after they’d met. That was of course, the same set of feelings she’d started to fight after he’d warned her about her expiring yoghurt with a big goofy smile and she realised she was falling for someone she shouldn’t.

Whilst some of their work colleagues kept a healthy amount of scepticism that Pam and Jim were still now only friends (and it turned out in the end that Kevin had been totally right about that,) once Karen had gone, they fell into a standard operating model during the day. For anyone not aware of their secretly upgraded status, things would have looked much the same as the façade they’d perfected for years when neither of them had had the courage to share their true feelings with the other.

People knew they’d rekindled their friendship.

People knew that Karen had left.

People noted that Jim had once more moved back to his old desk with Ryan’s departure, which allowed them eye contact once more.

People (OK - Kevin, with some back up from Oscar) noted they both looked very, very happy.

However, beyond conjecture, there was enough reasonable doubt that no-one could technically prove there was anything new between them.

For Jim and Pam though, it was a question of ‘little, often and subtle’ during the workday, just enough to satisfy the almost constant itch of desire. Small touches in the break room when no-one was looking. Shared glances across the five feet from his desk to reception. A lot of instant messaging, and a significant number of post-it notes left on each other’s desks. The occasional stolen kiss in the stairwell or up on the roof. With no cameras present for eight weeks, they were able to keep things private enough at work.

As soon as they were away from work, of course, it didn’t take terribly long before lust played a leading role in the evolution of their relationship. How could it not, after they’d waited so long?

***

Pam had clarified a time period in her head to resolve their rampant unresolved sexual tension. That period very soon shrunk to days rather than weeks when she started to get a taste of Jim’s kisses. It was intoxicating. This may have made her somewhat of a hussy in the eyes of an Angela Martin type, Angela’s disgust at Pam clearly revealed upon Karen’s return as she stood in the corner of the room glaring at Pam most disapprovingly as Karen read Jim the riot act, but quite frankly, Pam never minded the overwhelming sense of inevitability in realising the physical aspects of her new relationship sooner rather than later because, quite honestly, she was crazy mad in love. Pam had plain old urges to satisfy and a willing, devoted, sexy Jim to help her with those. Fancy New Beesly was not going to hold her happiness back out a misplaced sense of traditional values. She (and him both) had waited long enough.

Jim promised himself he would take things at her pace, but that didn’t stop him from gently testing the boundaries of just what she wanted and when. So over the course of that first week, there was a lot of kissing and a significant amount of moderately robust mutual groping.  Jim made a point of not putting his hands (or any other body part, in fact) anywhere without Pam’s approval; but when his hand slipped down to grip the waistband at the back of her jeans during a particularly passionate moment on the sofa, it was Pam who reached behind her and guided it further under the denim to a panty-clad cheek as she lay on top of him, nipping mischievously at his lips. There had been a number of similar moments over the week but none of them had really led beyond second base.

***

It was just a couple more days and dates later when the dam finally broke. They’d been out for dinner and À bout de souffle showing at the indie cinema just a few blocks from Pam’s apartment. Afterward, Jim had walked her home, strolling hand in hand on that late May night as they animatedly discussed the film and the merits of the French New Wave movement. He was feeling particularly amorous, perhaps from the French, but probably more from the secret visit that morning to the jewellers on his way back from that morning’s sales call; and where in the sock drawer back at his apartment now proudly sat a half-carat diamond engagement ring. He prided himself that it was bigger than the one Roy had bought her (but not in any way ostentatious) - not that it was a competition or anything (only it sort of was, at least in his head.)

At this point Jim didn’t really care how long he had to wait to be with her in every last way. By now they were firmly together, he got to kiss her every day and every burden he’d felt for years had been lifted over the last week with her reassuring words, kisses and touches.

“You coming in for a drink?”

“Yeah, cool, if that’s OK.” She let them both in, fixed them up a glass of wine each, put on a CD and they sat on the sofa, knees touching as they drank. The glasses were soon drained, and the couple were curled up together. Pam sighed softly against Jim’s chest. She’d had such a nice night with him again and quite frankly, she was more than ready for the next step.

“I think you should sleep over tonight.” To this point, they’d ended up hot and sweaty on multiple occasions, but remained mostly still clothed. More importantly, each time up to now, Jim - or indeed Pam, had gone home at the end of the night.

“A sleepover!? Like Tom Hanks in Big? I get to be on top.” Jim grinned and Pam rolled her eyes below him, before pulling away slightly and looking up to him.

“I’m being serious.”

“Really?” Jim suddenly looked a lot more serious himself.

“Yeah. I mean… it’s been over a week, Jim; we’ve seen each other virtually every night, and I think we’ve waited long enough.” It wasn’t an understatement to say that at that declaration, Jim’s face lit up like he was experiencing every birthday and Christmas all at once. With that, Pam stood up, pulled him up with her and led him confidently by the hand to the bedroom.

“You can be on top if you like. But I don’t have a bunk bed…” she winked. He blushed.

***

As one might expect, their first time was wonderful, sweet and awkward all at the same time, nerves eventually getting the better of them both as they fumbled their way messily out of their clothing and into bed, hands and mouths all over each other. Somehow it all worked out swimmingly in the end though, everything fitting together and doing so extremely well as they imagined and hoped it would, leaving them both catching their collective breath as they came down from their mutual high, still wrapped up in each other.

“Wow.”

“Wow yourself, Beesly.”

“That was…”

“Yeah, it was.”

A few minutes passed and they remained entwined in post-coital bliss.

“Pam?”

“Mmmm…” Pam mumbled contentedly from the top of Jim’s chest.

“One thing I didn’t think through was overnight stuff. I mean, I didn’t entirely have this planned.” Jim looked at Pam slightly sheepishly.

“Well, overnight clothing is optional,” she giggled, popping a kiss on his lips, “It’s a Saturday tomorrow, so no walk of shame to the office, only back to your car, and I took care of the rest already.” She nodded over at her dresser and his eyes followed.  She’d already bought a spare toothbrush for him after their second date. It sat on top of a beer coaster.