@ordinarydoodles

Sometimes the lawn is a space to chill, other days... heatwave, toplessness and whatever you and your friends can get away with!  

Pam made sure that her latest post had fully uploaded to Instagram before quickly switching back to her personal account. Posting while in line for an iced coffee on her secret account was risky - it was hard work to not accidentally reveal she ran Ordinary Doodles - but she particularly liked this doodle. It showed the fun students were having on this unexpectedly sunny day; how quickly people had formed friendships even though it was still early in the semester. She hadn't expected her little project to become more confident with her digital art to become so popular around campus, but the anonymity was certainly fun and made it easier to keep uploading her doodles. 

As she scrolled through the feed on her personal account, she sensed movement in her periphery and stepped forward, assuming the line was moving up. 

"Oof, sorry," Pam mumbled as she found herself bumping directly into the person in front.

"No worries," the guy in front of Pam shrugged a shoulder and shuffled forward, using his feet to move the grey Nike gym bag between his legs along with him. 

Lifting her head slightly to look around her, Pam realised she was beside the sugar counter and must have mistaken the movements of the people there for the line moving up. She exhaled a sharp sigh and returned to scrolling through her iPhone, managing not to bump into anyone else as she moved forward through the line. Halfway through checking her daily TimeHop, it was Pam's turn to order her coffee. She briefly put her phone to the side to order her Grande Iced Latte - four pumps vanilla, please - before returning to it as she moved to the other end of the counter to wait for her order and finish scrolling through the remaining photos on the app. 

Once more, Pam found herself stepping into someone. "Ugh, sorry."

"No worries," the guy shrugged as he shuffled over once more, "again." 

It was only a few minutes later when the guy collected his coffee that he glanced over at the person who had bumped him twice. Seeing her intently staring at her phone, he rolled his eyes and scoffed. She was cute, but clearly one of those girls who was constantly glued to her phone.  

* 

A week later, Pam found herself sighing deeply as she looked around for somewhere to sit. Her plate was hot, her soda was cold, her backpack was heavy. She saw a free seat at a low coffee table for two, the other occupied by a guy reading a book, and headed over. The only other free seat she could see was opposite a guy from one of her classes that she just didn't have the energy for, so for once sitting with a stranger was the best option. 

"Mind if I sit here?" Pam asked. "It's packed in here." 

"Sure, go ahead," the guy said, not looking away from his book. He moved his gym bag toward him with his foot so his new tablemate had some legroom. 

"Thanks," Pam said, quickly putting down her plate and soda before shaking her hands as she sat down and dumped her bag next to the chair. She thought she recognised the grey gym bag the guy had just moved.

They carried on in silence - not surprising for two strangers. Pam thought she'd heard his voice somewhere before and got a strange sense of déjà vu as she pulled out her phone. Ignoring her messages, she quickly went into her notes app and typed out her current muse, figuring it would also help make a good caption for later. 

On a campus with so many strangers, it is inevitable we cross paths more than once without realising. Do you ever feel strange when you think about this one connection you have to these strangers around you, living a life as complex as yours? Do you ever get that feeling - hey, I've met this person somewhere before?

Pam pulled out her iPad Pro and Apple Pencil from the beige Herschel backpack she'd dumped beside her chair. She didn't want to directly draw this stranger from her angle - if he followed her account, he'd probably know who it was (although he hadn't really looked at her at all so far) and blow her anonymity. She wasn't going to draw his face since she couldn't see it, but he had a pretty distinctive frame and scruffy hair that would make it simple enough for him to guess it was him. People often loved identifying themselves in the comments section of her posts. Pam looked around for a different point of view as she ate her bolognese and decided to draw from the perspective of the table behind. She could make up what she looked like from the back - it was the person opposite her that really mattered for this drawing. 

Keeping her iPad beside her on the table, Pam returned to her phone while she quickly ate. She looked up at the guy opposite her again, observing the messy mop of hair she could see over his book, and his tall frame folded into the faded yellow armchair, before opening her message from Isabel and typing out a reply.

Isabel Poreba

Heading to my PM theory seminar... BORED already just thinking about it tbh. I'll get food on break but lets do something this eve? Devon has band practise tonight :/  

Pam Beesly

Haha I mean not much more exciting here, Diners is packed so sat with some random lanky dude who literally hasn't even looked at me. No diff to dinner with Roy I guess lol. Movie later at mine? Angela is out so have the room free :)

Finishing her food, Pam popped open her soda and brought her knees up onto her seat and to the side slightly so she could rest her iPad on the side of her legs. She took a long sip of her soda, using the time to observe the guy opposite her, and put it down on the table. Flipping open the pastel green iPad cover, she tapped in her passcode using her middle finger before navigating to her Illustrator app with the pencil. 

Pam got as lost in her drawing as her tablemate was in his book. As much as digital art wasn't her thing, she still got captivated in the world appearing on her screen. 

Pam didn't notice the guy putting his book down, or the fact that he observed her for a full five minutes with a small smile on his face. She didn't hear him snort or shake his head when he thought about how obsessed she was with her devices. Were all girls like this nowadays? He'd realised the second he looked up that this was the same girl from the coffee shop last week - the half-clipped back curls were distinctive. 

Finally, he cleared his throat and smirked. "Are you always this invested in maxing out on screen time?"

"What?" Pam finally looked up. She felt her heart skip a beat. That little smirk was... cute.

"You bumped into me the other week. Twice."  

"Oh, that was you?" Pam shut her iPad cover. She didn't want him accidentally seeing the drawing. "Sorry about that." 

"I don't think I've seen you look up for this long before. Does it feel weird?" 

Pam could tell from the grin on his face that the guy was joking. "You should have seen me when I first sat down."

"Ah. Damn. Too bad my book was getting good," He shrugged and leaned forward as Pam let out a small giggle. "Good thing I didn't accidentally bump into you."

"Yeah, sorry about that... but I was actually being productive today," Pam tapped her iPad. "I'm an art student. A clumsy one, but I promise I was working on something today."

"Can I see?" 

"Uh..." Pam's heart raced for a few seconds, slowing when she remembered she had plenty more on her iPad that wasn't to do with her secret doodles. "Yeah, okay." She held her iPad close as she navigated to a project she was actually working on for one of her classes, then swiped the top right corner down slightly to put her iPad in Airplane Mode. If she was showing anything from her iPad it was her way of making sure no notifications came through for her secret account. "Here, this is my current project," she held the iPad out and bit her lip. Digital art was her weakest point; much as her confidence was growing, she really would have preferred the first piece someone new saw to be a watercolor or a sketch. 

His eyebrows raised up and he let out a quiet, impressed "wow" as he held the iPad and looked at her drawing. He liked the simplistic style she used - everything was outlined in almost-rough strokes, with clear yet cohesive color contrasts. It looked like a modern take on classic imagery - a girl leaning on a panel of her terrace in a mid-length dress but all with the colors of the modern day. "This is really cool. You're very talented."

"Oh, thanks, it's-" Pam bit her lip as he handed her back the iPad. "We were told to reimagine a drawing we've done before." 

"So you've done a drawing-drawing of this?"

"Yeah," Pam smiled. "And a watercolor painting."

"I'd love to see that." 

Pam blinked up at the guy. People rarely actually wanted to see her art. "Umm... I mean, I have-"

"Jim!" a guy appeared at the guy's side, giving him a gentle slap on the shoulder. Pam looked between them and noted that her companion's name was Jim. "Ready to go?"

"Oh, yeah," Jim started packing his book into his gym bag. "Grab me a water?" 

"Sure, wait for you outside," the guy headed in the direction of the vending machine. 

"Sorry, I have practice," Jim apologised as he stood up, grabbing his phone from the table. 

Pam desperately wanted to tell him that she had pictures of her drawing and watercolor on her phone to show him, but the strange, consuming need to impress Jim frazzled her slightly. "Oh, umm, yeah - okay, sure. I - have fun."

"I will," Jim grinned as he picked up his gym bag. "You have Facebook or Instagram or something?"

"Umm, I - yeah, I do."

"Great, ‘kay, find me - Jim Halpert," he said as he turned to leave and catch up with his friend. "I wanna see that drawing!" 

pamelam 

Jim Halpert (jim9334) started following you. 

Pam didn't know why this notification had caused her to spend a half hour scrolling through her own Instagram page and checking all of her photos and captions for anything potentially embarrassing. Jim had followed her back seconds after she had followed him - after she had dedicated fifteen minutes before following him to doing a deep dive of his Instagram page. 

Jim Halpert (he/him)

Go Sixers!

He had little on his profile but at least now she knew his team. She hadn't done this when Roy had followed her. In her defence, she had only deleted 3 photos. This was information she'd be keeping to herself. In fact, she wouldn't even mention him. It's not as though her friends were going to care about some random guy with a cute smile who was polite enough to show interest in her art one time.

Waiting for Isabel to come over for their movie night, Pam decided to switch over to her Ordinary Doodles account and try find out if Jim was following her. She kept a mental list of people from her real life who were following on there to make sure she occasionally threw in a speculative comment about who Ordinary Doodles was or the latest content. If Jim was following her here, when she posted the doodle of him reading, she'd have a good conversation starter with him from her personal account. Not that she was looking for reasons to talk to him. 

God, this is stupid.

Shaking her head, Pam focused on her scrolling. She felt too anxious about finding out to simply type his name into the search bar, ignoring the part of her that knew she'd be disappointed if he wasn't following her. She only got partway through before there was a knock at her door. Quickly switching back to her personal account, Pam put her phone down and went to open the door.

"Hey," Pam stood aside to let Isabel in, closing the door behind her.

"Oh my God, you have to look at this," Isabel said by way of greeting, dropping her Trader Joe's canvas tote bag onto Pam's bed without looking up from her phone. 

"What?"

"This chef is just... ugh," Isabel groaned and rolled her eyes, clutching her phone to her chest for a moment. "He is just... fuck, look, come here."

Pam went to stand beside Isabel as she held her phone out slightly for both of them to see. She had it open on Instagram and Pam could see from the grid that this was indeed a chef. She raised a brow as Isabel clicked on a video of him preparing a dessert and turned the sound on. 

As she watched, Pam felt her face turning red at the suggestive actions of the chef as he prepared his food. "Wooh," she let out, fanning her face once the video ended. 

"Right? I call him Sexy Chef. That close-up shot when he licked that whole-"

"Is!" Pam swatted Isabel's arm. 

"What? It's hot! And the thing with the orange-"

"Isabel!" Pam nudged Isabel with her elbow this time, blushing furiously. Either way, she reread the username at the top of the video for revisiting later.  

"Oh come on, that is like... mad sexy." 

"It is, I'm not disagreeing," Pam admitted, "just..." she fanned her face again as the video played over again in her head, dropping onto her bed. 

"What?" Isabel grinned. "Look, I'll send you a video from his page. Watch as often as your heart desires. Anyway, I brought Legally Blonde, beers and chips. I figured hey, two guilty pleasures in one go? Not a bad night." 

"How'd you get the beers?" Pam asked, taking the items out of the tote bag while Isabel went to get Pam's MacBook Air from her desk. 

"You think my sister visited last week and didn't stock me up?" Isabel snorted, passing Pam her laptop. "Cute."

"See, problems of having a little sister," Pam sighed as she entered her password. "It'll be me buying her drinks when she goes off to college."

"What about Roy?" 

"Oh, yeah," Pam rolled her eyes as she slid the DVD into her laptop while Isabel opened two bottles of Blue Moon, "the once a week I see him and manage to get a beer before he drinks them all with his friends." 

"Why are his friends there?" Isabel scrunched up her nose as she sat down beside Pam, passing her a bottle. 

"That's what I'd like to know. I keep saying we should go somewhere nice to dinner but it never happens." 

"That's fucked up."

* 

jim9334 omg is that me?! wow this is amazing!!

                  ordinarydoodles :)

                  itsmarkjay lol ya famous now man congrats

                  princesskelly_k welcome to the hall of fame! xxxx

Well, that answered Pam's question of whether Jim followed her Ordinary Doodles account and consumed a good fifteen minutes of her study time. 

She had forgotten that she'd been trying to find this out the previous night. She had to giggle at Kelly's comment - she had taken to welcoming others to the so called ‘hall of fame' since being one of the first people Pam had posted a drawing of to the account. She'd been wearing the most lavish outfit one night out; she'd been at the same pre-drinks as her and managed to find a few candid and posed photographs to draw from the following week. 

Curiously, Pam clicked through to itsmarkjay's page, quickly recognising him as the guy who had met with Jim at Diner's. She smiled - he and Jim were clearly close; while Jim did have an okay selection of photos on his own grid, Mark had a lot more and Jim featured in many of them, going back a few years. It looked like they had gone to school together - and that Jim still hadn't quite found a hairstyle that worked for him.  

With a sigh, Pam realised she only had a half hour left of her study hour before class and was about to put down her phone when a couple of message notifications came through for her personal account. 

[pamelam] isabelsophia

Sent a video

[pamelam] isabelsophia

Ughhh todays video is not that sexy but anyway that's the sexy chef guy as promised lol

Pam figured studying this chef and his cooking videos still counted as studying. She hadn't exactly written down what she planned to be studying in this hour in her diary, so it was okay. She felt her time had still been productive as she headed to her class; the food did also look incredible. For a second, Pam entertained the thought of sending a video to Roy and asking him to make her a dessert like that. She actually laughed out loud at the thought, earning strange looks from the people walking past her. Isabel was more likely to prepare her a dessert like that than Roy was. Roy would take her to the McDonald's DriveThru for a McFlurry and offer her "the best sex of your entire life, babe" instead (he always got the wrong McFlurry, and the McFlurry was still the best part) - or get annoyed that she was watching videos like that, so it wasn't worth it. 

After a graphics class that both distracted Pam from her thoughts of the chef and gave her a headache, she began making her way to get the bus out of campus. It was her least busy day so she wanted to take advantage of having a bit of time to go purchase some storage containers she'd seen on Instagram. As she stopped to grab a bottle of water, she grinned as she saw Jim browsing the little snacks section by the cashier. 

"Hey," Pam smiled shyly as she approached him.

"Hey!" Jim grinned as he turned and saw Pam. "Wow, no phone?" 

"Ah, saving my battery," Pam laughed. Funnily enough, spending almost a half hour watching videos on Instagram had eaten into her battery; she usually plugged her phone in to charge while studying. "Plus after graphics class I need a bit of a break from screens."

"Yikes," Jim breathed out a chuckle as he grabbed a bag of salted chips. "It's a weird sight."

"I know," Pam grimaced slightly as they stepped to the side to join the short queue. "Sorry. Finish your book?" 

"Oh, yeah - well remembered," Jim raised a brow. 

"The book was a great sight while I ate," Pam shrugged. 

"Well, the current one is a lot less interesting. It's just the title and author in block capitals."

"Ah, well, don't judge a book by a cover and all. You off to practice again?" Pam gestured to Jim's Sixers jersey.

"Yeah, we have a game this weekend. Go ahead," Jim gestured for Pam to pay first as they were called up. 

"Thanks," Pam smiled and stepped forward. 

Quickly paying for her water, Pam stood to the side for Jim to pay for his chips. Taking a few sips of her water, Pam found herself checking Jim out slightly in his shorts and jersey. Her eyes took in his long legs and the slight muscles in his arms, up to his lightly ruffled hair. Hearing him thank the cashier, she cleared her throat as she focused on closing the lid of the water bottle and hoping the warmth she felt in her cheeks wasn't too obvious. 

"Where you headed?" Jim asked, pocketing his wallet.

"Oh, uh, the umm, the bus stop." Pam glanced away for a moment, hating that she apparently couldn't form a real sentence if she spent too long in Jim's presence. "Going to - you know, shopping." 

"Ah, too bad, I'm heading back in," Jim gestured behind him with a thumb over his shoulder. "I'll catch you another time though - I still wanna see that drawing, you know." 

Pam's eyes snapped to him then, shocked that he seemed to genuinely be interested in the drawing she had mentioned when they'd last met. "Oh... yeah. Of course. Umm, good luck with your game."  

"Thanks - four o'clock, if you wanted to come." 

"I... yeah, maybe," Pam smiled. "I'll try make it." 

They said goodbye, and Pam stood watching Jim walk off for a moment before continuing on to the bus stop. She wanted to go, but not on her own - that would be weird. If she invited someone she'd need to give a reason for her sudden interest in the basketball team. Her dad had taken her to games so it wasn't a huge stretch to be into the sport. For sure she wasn't bringing Roy - sports games with Roy were a complete no-go anyway. She spent her bus journey into town wondering if there was a friend she could bring that wouldn't tease her (Isabel), exhaust her (Kelly) or judge her (Angela). She began to create a shortlist in her mind, and figured she'd have her answer by the end of the night.

Shopping gave her a distraction for a while, locating the organiser trays in the pastel green, lilac and baby pink she had been hoping to be in stock and picking up a few additional items she didn't technically need but needed to buy because she didn't have the willpower not to. On the journey back her mom called, which was her next distraction (though she did mention that she might go to a basketball game this weekend as a friend had invited her). Of course, getting to put her purchases to use in her dorm room when she got back was another great distraction - though not totally in the way she thought. 

"Oh, fuck!" Pam groaned, tossing the lilac organiser tray onto her bed in frustration.  

"Pam!" Angela scowled over at her roommate from her desk. 

"Ugh, sorry," Pam rolled her eyes. "I measured wrong and I can't fit all three on the shelf." 

"Too bad," Angela shrugged, her attention already back on the notebook she was working in. 

"This is so an-nyoying," Pam mumbled, frowning at the shelf she had envisioned housing her paint supplies. She let out "ugh, so stupid," under her breath before emptying to rest of the items in her shopping bag onto her bed. 

Silently, Angela spun around in her chair to see what Pam had purchased and was being so noisy about. She glanced over the items before taking a quick look at the shelf and turning back to her desk. "Just put one of the trays on the shelf below and you can mix-and-match some of the smaller bits to fill out the gaps." 

"But that's not what my vision was for the shelf!"

"Well, sorry your spatial awareness is too poor to meet your aesthetic dreams."  

Angela was saved from the sarcastic remark Pam was about to throw at her by a knock at the door. Pam quickly threw her middle finger up behind Angela's back before going to open the door. 

"You ready?"

"Hey, umm, shoot - give me a minute, come in," Pam stood back to let her friend in. "Sorry, I completely forgot." 

"No problem. Hi Angela."

Angela rolled her eyes before turning briefly to greet their guest. "Hello, Marina."

Pam shook her head in amusement as she closed the door. Angela had a particular dislike of Marina. Angela liked to dress conservatively, attended the weekly Bible study group and volunteered at the animal shelter every Saturday - so when Marina had shown up one Saturday in a red floral Brandy Melville cropped shirt, black mini skirt and gushed that "oh, cats, that's so cute, I wish they had a dog shelter nearby too" and then told Angela she should call it ‘Cat-urday', Angela had taken an instant dislike. Marina wasn't fussed except when Angela had referred to her as "that dog-loving hussy" two weeks later, because she knew Angela wouldn't say out loud the words she actually wanted to call her. 

"How was practice?" Pam asked Marina as she unloaded the books she'd used for her classes from her backpack. 

"It was good, my new sneakers are comfy as fuck," Marina grinned. She chuckled at the scoff that came from Angela's direction.  

"Worth the money then?" 

"One hundred percent. We have a game on Thursday evening if you wanna come watch."

"Oh, sure, I'll see if Is wants to come as well," Pam nodded, flinging her pencil case in the direction of her desk. 

"Awesome. I still wish you'd tried out though, you definitely would have made the team."

"I know, I just... I dunno, maybe next year," Pam shrugged. Marina expressed her wish that Pam had tried out for the volleyball team at least once a week. She decided to take her opportunity now while they were still on the topic of sports. "Umm, hey, so... are you free on Saturday afternoon?"  

"Uh... I think so, why?"

Slowly zipping up her bag, Pam felt herself blush slightly. "There's this... umm, basketball game I was thinking of going to?"

"Basketball?"

"Yeah, umm, someone mentioned it and I thought it might be fun to go."

"Oh yeah?" Marina smirked. Whatever Pam's actual motive was, she wasn't opposed to watching a bunch of guys playing basketball. "Sure, I'm down for that. Shall I see if Isabel is free too? Bunch of tall guys running around in shorts getting sweaty is her kinda thing." 

"Umm," Pam bit her lip as she pulled on her backpack. Isabel would definitely question Pam more on her motives for attending the game, but it would also look weird if she didn't want to invite her. Besides she did want Isabel there, just not the questioning she'd get. "Sure, sounds good. Ready?"

Things had been going fine at the basketball game on Saturday - Isabel and Marina seemed to accept that Pam had spoken to someone about it and wanted to go; she knew they were a little suspicious of why she'd dragged them there but overall, they kept their cool. That was until the point in the game Jim had spotted her after scoring. He grinned and gave her a wave as he jogged past. Pam blushed and waved back. 

"Well, that's not Roy." 

Pam sighed, knowing in that moment the gig was up, and gave Marina a look that said ‘well, obviously'.

"He's cute," Isabel stated, watching as he ran a hand through his hair. "You know him?" 

"Oh, umm - kind of, yeah, I guess. We bumped into each other a few times." 

"And?"

"And what? We bumped into each other a few times, he invited me to watch the game, that's it." 

"Mm'kay, because the way you're blushing says otherwise," Marina grinned. 

"Does he know you have a - Roy?" Isabel asked. She was not a fan of Roy, and always made it a point not to refer to him as Pam's boyfriend. 

"I dunno, maybe," Pam shrugged as she pulled the sleeves of her maroon Nike sweatshirt over her hands to cover them. "I've never mentioned Roy, but he does follow me on Instagram so... he may have seen him on there." 

"Ooh... potential drama," Marina wiggled her eyebrows. "Pam Beesly, who would've thought, huh?"

"Wh- it's- no, it's- we're just like, friends I guess," Pam said, despite the way her heart fluttered and cheeks tinged pink as he ran past and threw another wonky grin her way. "Can we just - watch the game?"

Isabel huffed and pulled out her phone, opening Instagram and pulling up Pam's account. "Please show me where on your page there is any indication of you being in a relationship, Pam," she said, before starting to read out the contents of her profile. "Pamela Morgan. She/her. Art student from PA. Paint palette emoji, coffee emoji. And... literally zero photos with Roy."

Damnit, Pam bit her lip. She knew she hadn't posted photos with Roy - it was rare they did anything worth sharing to her grid, and in the early days of their relationship when they did cute date things, she'd not really been using the app properly. In those days all she posted were pictures of any new paints she bought, her family dog Joni and cat Mitchell, and cute teapots, which would garner all of 3 likes back in the day if she was lucky. "Sometimes he's in my story. And there's no obvious tea emoji." 

"Mm'kay," Isabel smirked, putting her phone on her lap. 

"It doesn't matter anyway."

Sensing Pam's annoyance, they'd given the subject up for the rest of the game. But Pam had then been distracted, because she knew it mattered. Who went to a game they were invited to by someone they'd met twice - briefly - if they didn't matter? Pam felt some kind of connection to Jim - he was funny, he showed an interest in her art, he was charming in his own goofy way. Yes, he was attractive. Yes, she automatically smiled whenever he glanced her way during his game. Yes, she jumped up to cheer at the end of the game as his team won. 

But those were friend things too, Pam told herself. 

She was glad that Isabel began leading them out when the game finished, because Pam felt an inexplicable desire to run and hug Jim and congratulate him on the game. Still a friendly gesture if it weren't for the butterflies in her stomach. Later that evening, when she posted a selfie to her story before going out for the night in her most flattering dress from her best angle and spent a significant portion of her evening checking who had viewed the story, she knew she needed to get a grip on her newfound obsession with Jim. 

* 

It didn't bring Pam much joy to spend an hour getting ready for a dinner out with Roy the following Thursday, having made a resolution to put a bit more effort into her relationship. While Isabel and Marina (and surprisingly to Pam, Angela too had agreed from her side of the room) expressed that Roy was the one who needed to be putting in the effort, Pam figured she ought to as well. She chose to ignore Marina's question about whether she felt the need to put more effort in out of guilt and went on to explain that maybe they were just adjusting to their relationship being two college students at different stages of their college journey rather than the two high school students they'd started out as.

But Pam's resolution began to crack very soon after making it as she sent her fifth message to Roy that Thursday evening.  

Pam Beesly

Whatever, I'm going. 

This wasn't the first time Pam had been stood up by her boyfriend. It was never a good feeling, but this time was the worst. Having told Roy that she felt they both needed to put a little more into the relationship, and him agreeing, they'd planned to go for a nice dinner on campus. She'd even started to feel a little glimmer that maybe the relationship was worth putting in the effort for after all.  

Of course Roy didn't show up. 

So Pam pulled her AirPods out from the pocket of her black faux leather clutch purse and shoved them a little too forcefully into her ears, hitting play without really looking at the screen when the Apple Music swatch appeared. When the sounds of Post Malone filled her ears, she gave an approving nod and started to make her way back. 

Of course that was the night she once more bumped into Jim. 

"Sh- sorry," Pam looked to her right as she slowed the annoyed power walk she hadn't realised she was doing, stopping suddenly as she realised who it was. "Oh, Jim."

Having ignored the person bumping into him, Jim had continued walking ahead and had to stop and turn back when he heard his name being called. "Oh! Pam, hey." 

"Hi," Pam removed her right AirPod.

"You heading back?" 

"Uh, yeah." 

Jim waited a second for Pam to catch up to him and they continued walking in silence for a couple of minutes. He could sense that Pam wasn't in the best mood, although she had removed her second AirPod and put them away into their case and her bag. He wanted to tell her that she looked nice and ask what was wrong, but her occasional huffy sigh and intense glare at the ground told him to keep silent. It seemed to be the correct thing to do, as eventually her huffy sighs lessened, gaze softened, and she fiddled with the small tassel attached to her bag.

Finally, Pam looked up and over to Jim. "Good night?" 

"It was ok," Jim shrugged. Something told him not to ask how hers was - clearly if it was good, she'd be in a better mood. "I lost to Mark at Mario Kart but I got an extra slice of pickle in my burger so..."

Pam's lips quirked up into a tiny smile and she breathed out a quick chuckle. They walked quietly for a bit again, before she slowed her pace and frowned. "I was meant to meet my boyfriend for dinner tonight." 

"Oh."

Jim did his best to hide his surprise at this bit of information, making sure his brows didn't rise too high and voice didn't sound too questioning as he slowed his pace to match Pam's. If Pam noticed his surprise, she didn't show it. 

"I got all dressed up," Pam held her arms out slightly, palms facing up, in an attempt to show the bit of effort she'd put into her outfit. "He stood me up."

"Oh man, I'm so sorry."  

"Again," Pam said with a tight smile. 

"Wow. That sucks." 

"Yeah."

"I guess losing Mario Kart tonight kind of pales in comparison."

"Yeah... I kinda win this one, sorry." Pam couldn't believe that she was actually making light out of a situation that had her so down just minutes ago. She gestured at a bench just slightly ahead of them. "Mind if we sit for a moment?" 

"Sure."

Dropping down onto the bench with a sigh, Pam watched as Jim sat down next to her, putting his black Under Armour backpack next to him, and pulled down the sleeves of his navy Adidas sweatshirt. Pam decided then that she preferred him with his sleeves rolled up, and sighed again because the weather was only going to get colder now. As they sat there in companionable silence, Pam smoothed out her navy-and-yellow floral midi skirt and found herself wondering if Jim was going to comment on her appearance tonight. It wasn't that she was expecting a compliment, but as someone who didn't often get compliments and had put on a nice outfit and done her hair, she'd really appreciate one. Especially tonight.

"I feel so stupid," Pam found herself saying out loud. "I got kinda dressed up and nearly burned the carpet with my curler and organised a nice meal out and... it was all for nothing." She wasn't going to tell Jim that she also felt stupid for fishing for a compliment from him, though that was more embarrassing. 

"No, it's... it's your boyfriend who should feel stupid," Jim shrugged a shoulder. He hardly knew Pam, but the information that she had a boyfriend (who stood her up - what a moron, Jim thought) felt like a punch in the gut. He wanted to add on that she looked great, but when she'd just been stood up it didn't seem like the right thing to focus on. 

With a tiny snort, Pam rolled her eyes. Roy would at most feel mildly guilty if she was lucky and be ready with his excuse and brush it off - but she didn't want to tell Jim that. It was embarrassing enough, especially because Jim was at least a teeny, tiny part of why she'd decided she needed to put more effort into her relationship. "Well..." She lifted her arms from her lap and dropped them back down, looking away. 

"Hey," Jim gently nudged Pam, "his loss." He opened his backpack and pulled out one full bottle of water and a half-drunk bottle of Cool Blue Gatorade. He held the water out to Pam. "You'd probably be having some table water arriving about now?"

Turning to look at Jim, Pam raised a brow contradictory to the smile creeping onto her lips. She could feel the remnants of her annoyance slowly melting away as she accepted the water bottle from Jim. "Funny. Thank you."

"Cheers," Jim tapped his Gatorade to the bottle in Pam's hands before taking a sip. 

"Cheers," Pam echoed, opening the bottle and taking a few long gulps. Like Jim's presence, it was unexpectedly refreshing - something she hadn't realised she needed. "Do you have a three-course dinner in there as well?"

"Mmm, lets see," Jim twisted his lips as he moved his backpack onto his lap and zipped it open again. "My notepad, iPad, my charger... oh! It's not a three-course meal, but I do have a box of Jell-o," Jim grinned as he held up the box. 

"Alright, why the Jell-o?" 

Jim's grin grew even wider as he put the Jell-o box back into his backpack. "Oh, it's, umm... well, easier to explain another time."

"Oo-kay," Pam chuckled. "So it's not the dessert portion of my meal?"

"Nope, sorry," Jim zipped up his backpack again. 

"I guess I'll be having sympathy noodles in bed," Pam sighed. "My roommate is gonna be annoyed but... I don't care." 

"Sounds like a suitable alternative."

Pam looked up at Jim for a moment, biting her lip nervously as she watched him play with the straps of his backpack. She shouldn't want him to suggest that they just go grab some food, or ask him if he wanted to have noodles with her in the common area of her dorm. It was the whole reason she'd gone to this effort to have a nice evening with Roy. But that evening hadn't happened; an evening with Jim had. Perhaps they were just sitting on a bench on the sidewalk, but it sort of felt worth it to be dressed up. She wondered if Jim wanted to invite her for food, but didn't blame him for not doing so. She'd only just told him that she had a boyfriend - an inattentive one at that. Perhaps she was just hoping. With a sigh, Pam shook her head and gave her knees a sad smile.

"Thank you for making me feel better about my crappy evening," Pam smiled as she got up. "I actually had fun." 

Standing, Jim couldn't help the wide smile on his face at Pam's words. He was glad to have helped her out, and that she'd actually enjoyed herself - thanks to him. "Any time," he said.  

On a whim, he opened his arms out to give her a hug, but didn't expect for Pam to fully launch herself into the hug before he'd even finished extending his arms. She held onto him tightly as he wrapped his arms around her, his smile staying on his face all the way until they both stepped out of the hug. 

"Thank you," Pam smiled shyly. 

"Hey, no problem. Which way are you heading?" 

Five minutes later, Pam was grinning to herself as she prepared her instant noodles. It had been a nice change to be dropped off to her dorm, although she'd found herself blushing and tripping over her words as she re-visited the idea of asking Jim to join her for some instant noodles as she thanked him once again before saying goodnight. This wasn't the evening she had planned, but despite everything, this wasn't a bad evening.  

* 

"Babe, I'm so sorry," Roy found himself apologising the following morning as he held out a cup of takeout coffee to Pam. 

Rolling her eyes, Pam stepped out of her room, closing the door behind her and grabbing the coffee from Roy's hands. She didn't need Angela getting involved at this hour in the morning. "What's your excuse this time?"

"I was at Creed's place and we were watching the game and I swear I was going to leave, but we got carried away and I didn't notice the time - I'm so, so sorry." 

"So you stood me up to hang out with that creepy old guy?" Pam frowned as she took a sip of the coffee, her tone flat and unimpressed. "What is this?" 

"Peppermint latte, and Creed said the term is ‘mature student', actually."

"When have you ever seen me drink a peppermint latte and like it?" Pam handed the coffee back to Roy. "Look, I got dressed up, I did my hair, I waited there like an idiot. It was so humiliating Roy, and this isn't the first time." 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." 

"I mean is it really that hard to keep an eye on the time when you know you're meant to be meeting you girlfriend for dinner?" Pam glared at Roy as he stood there in silence, his head hanging down. "After we both agreed that maybe we need to work on things a bit more. Just feels you don't think it's worth the effort."  

"It is - I do think it's worth the effort Pam, I just - I'm sorry, I fucked up," Roy sighed. "Let me make it up to you, Pam - can we have dinner tonight? Please?"  

Looking down at her feet, Pam shrugged. Part of her wanted to say no - a big part of her. But... this was part of the trying to put in more effort, right? She tried to ignore the images of her short evening with Jim last night playing in her mind, but they did make her feel enough guilt to agree to Roy's request. "Fine. Pick me up at seven from the art block." 

* 

Later that morning, Pam found herself distracted by the notifications popping up on her phone, briefly ignoring the graphics project she was supposed to be working on.

[pamelam] jim9334

Sent a photo

[pamelam] jim9334

The reason for the jello :D :D 

[pamelam] jim9334

If you never see me again its cos my roommate has killed me for my latest prank :D  

Curious, she clicked on the first notification to open up the messages Jim had just sent her via Instagram. She was completely not ready for the contents of the photo, and found herself giggling out loud. 

Clearly frustrated and yelling something at Jim - probably for taking the photo - a bespectacled guy with an intensely precise middle part and fully buttoned mustard yellow polo shirt was holding a plate of yellow jello - and inside the jello was a stapler. 

"When the storm rolls in,

Rocking my boat to and fro,

You shine calm and joy." 

Pam sat down, blushing, and closed the pink Moleskine notebook she had been holding. She had joined a creative writing club to try work on expressing herself with words as well as art. She found that the tasks helped her think more deeply about pieces of art she would study, or to describe the intent of her own pieces of work to her peers.

"Oh wow, is that about Roy?" Phyllis gushed from beside her. She was a senior but had only recently joined the creative writing club, hoping to ‘be able to express myself more romantically to my new boyfriend'. 

"Umm, yeah," Pam lied, looking down at her notebook and twiddling with her pen. She hadn't thought the haiku sounded that romantic, and wasn't in the mood to defend the depths of comfort her new friendship made her feel. 

As the rest of the group read out their haikus (the poetic form of the evening), Pam couldn't help but open her notebook back up to the page she'd read from and re-read the words written there. As she thought of the messages she'd exchanged with Jim a few days ago where he shared his series of Jell-o related pranks, a small smile snuck onto her face. When she'd messaged him later that evening after a dull make-up dinner with Roy, he happily shared a few more of the pranks he had pulled on his roommate. 

With Phyllis finishing up the group readouts with a haiku that Pam was fairly certain had inappropriately sexual undertones, Pam closed her notebook and pulled out her phone. Her decision to focus more on her relationship with Roy hadn't been going well; after their dinner he'd rushed off to play video games at his friend Lonny's dorm and she hadn't heard back from him since then. Isabel had suggested seeing if he'd get in contact himself without her trying for a week, so that was her current plan. The only problem - or benefit - was that it made it that much easier and difficult at the same time to channel her focus on Jim.  

19:28 

What time do you finish practice?

Packing up her usual beige Herschel backpack, Pam had a quick chat with Hannah, who she usually sat with during the creative writing group, and avoided talking to Ryan, who she really wished wouldn't do creative writing whatsoever. By the time she was leaving, she was smiling at her phone as she read her new notification.

[pamelam] jim9334

I just finished! Whats up? 

Quickly opening the app, Pam silenced the voice in her head telling her that she was really not doing much better than Roy to work on their relationship by clinging onto Jim's existence. She was still telling herself that the connection she felt to him was friendship - sometimes people just clicked. Pam knew she'd eventually have to evaluate this with more honesty, but wasn't college for finding yourself anyway? It's just part of my journey, Pam told herself as she typed out her reply. 

Gonna go grab some pizza in Diners if you wanna come? 

Nothing wrong with inviting a friend for dinner, Pam thought. She and Isabel and Marina went out for dinner all the time. Sometimes Pam had coffee with Devon while they were waiting for Isabel. 

Trying to rationalize everything you do with Jim really isn't helping your cause, Pam thought to herself as she walked out of the building, slowly making her way in the direction of Diners. 

She opened WhatsApp, and then iMessage, to check she hadn't missed anything from Roy. She had seen on his Instagram story that he'd been out the night before with Darryl and Lonny, which was nothing unusual - he never invited her anyway and she wouldn't want to go even if he did. She had enough of that when she went over to his dorm and they ended up there too, downgrading what she'd hoped to be a date night to a simple hangout. She didn't mind hanging out with his friends, she just wished he'd understand that there was a difference between a date night and simply hanging out. 

[pamelam] jim9334

Sounds good, will meet you there 

The smile on her face wasn't one she could control. Pam was well aware that she hardly knew Jim, but every part of her wanted to know everything about him. As she walked, she formed a haiku in her head.

This is not a date

And yet, it's all butterflies

They're hard to ignore

Not one she'd be sharing with her creative writing group - or any other person she knew - any time soon, but she could see a vibrant painting forming in her mind and made a note to dig out her gouache paints when she got back to her room. 

* 

"You're normally back before eight o'clock after creative writing," Angela remarked from her bed as Pam quietly walked into their dorm, not looking up from her book.

"Oh, yeah, I just met someone for dinner afterwards," Pam shrugged her backpack onto her desk chair before reaching for the lilac storage container that housed her gouache paints. 

"With Roy?"

"Umm, no, not Roy."  

As Pam pulled the chair back and rummaged under her desk for one of her small square canvases, Angela sat up cautiously and placed her bookmark into her book. "If you're coming back late from one of your evening things, please could you let me know in advance next time?"

Flinging the canvas onto her bed, Pam raised a brow. "Why?"

"It's none of your business, Pam."

Pausing her search through her pink paintbrush container, Pam folded her arms and looked over at Angela. Her confrontational nature was completely at odds with her white cat-print pajamas. "Angela, are you seeing someone?"

"Are you seeing someone?" 

"Yeah, Roy."

"So who's the guy that just dropped you off?" 

"What-"

"The walls are incredibly thin."

"Jim's my friend."

"Apparently."

As Pam stared incredulously at Angela, Angela opened her book back up, glad she had managed to deflect the trajectory the conversation had been about to take. Asking Pam if she was seeing someone by repeating her own question hadn't been to pry, simply a panicked reply in a desperate effort to not answer. Angela felt a little bad, as she could sense Pam was maybe a little uncomfortable now, but she was glad the conversation was over. Hopefully Pam would follow her request and let her know if she'd be back later than planned in the future. Her personal life was nobody's business but her own. And also God. 

Eventually, Pam got back to picking out a couple of paintbrushes and adding them to the little collection on her bed. She grabbed her pajamas, wash bag and an empty paint water cup before heading out to the bathrooms without saying another word to Angela. She was a little suspicious of Angela's reasons for wanting to know if she'd be back late - was she seeing someone?! - but Pam still felt a little flustered from how the conversation had ended. She'd have to dig deeper into the Angela situation another time. 

When she returned, Pam put her clothes in the laundry basket, wash bag away and turned off the main light, leaving just the glow from each of their bed side lights. "Do you mind if I put my desk light on to paint for a while?" 

Still feeling a little bad, Angela shrugged. "Sure."

Pam was exhausted and didn't often paint into the night - and if she did it was normally watercolor - but she was grateful for the creative outlet. After moving the supplies from her bed to her desk, she sat and painted a collection of confusing yet vibrant swirls, barely forming a cohesive pattern. She heard Angela put her book away and quietly go through her evening prayer as she turned the canvas upside down and disturbed some of the vibrant swirls with small, messy blobs in darker, muted shades. She felt a sense of calm wash over her as she layered and disrupted her work. 

The next morning, still feeling like she was in a slight muddle and a little awkward with Angela, Pam did a digital version of her painting on her iPad as she drank her coffee and opened up Instagram.

@ordinarydoodles

College life just feels like a confusing muddle of ups and downs but there's nobody to tell you how to get out of the muddle anymore. Rainy day = rainy mood. Anyone else? 

* 

Roy didn't exactly text Pam by the end of the week, but he did bump into her buying groceries on Day 6 of Pam's seven-day slot for Roy to get in contact with her. 

"Pammy! Hey!" Roy grinned as he approached her with open arms, briefly abandoning his cart. 

"Oh, Roy, hi," Pam smiled, putting down her basket to accept Roy's hug.

"How have you been?"

"Uh, fine," Pam shrugged. "Haven't heard from you in a while, what have you been up to?"

"Man, it's been crazy," Roy ran a hand through his hair. "We went to this party and it was wild, I mean, what a night! I really had to rest up for the game after that, coach would have totally kicked my ass if I was too hungover to play."

"That was a last weekend... I haven't heard from you all week."

"We won the game, thanks, Pam," Roy chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I was just here and there in the week, you know how it is." 

Pam threw Roy a sceptical look. He was pretty lazy with his college schedule, his ‘here and there' was highly unlikely to be related to classes and assignments or anything that might really be good reason to not text your girlfriend. Sighing, she picked her basket back up. "Well, congrats on the game."

"Hey, hey," Roy grabbed onto her free hand when Pam made her way to continue her shopping. "Let's go for lunch tomorrow. We can go into town - I'll pick you up." 

Chewing her lip, Pam took a moment before replying. She was beginning to hate how Roy constantly thought that a last minute lunch or dinner invite would make up for everything - without even apologising for not bothering to contact her all week. But he sounded genuinely keen to have lunch tomorrow, and she did like going into town for an afternoon out. Plus it was nice to feel wanted, even if it felt like an afterthought. "Sure. Just text me a time to be ready."

If Jim was being honest, he was surprised when the next person to bump into him wasn't Pam. He felt like he recognised the face, and raised a slight brow as the woman looked him up and down. 

"Sorry - Jim, right?"

"Umm... yeah."

"Marina," she extended her right hand, clutching a stack of paperwork to her chest with her left.

"Oh, um - Jim, obviously," Jim reciprocated and shook her hand, still looking slightly confused. 

"Pam dragged me along to your basketball game," Marina explained. 

"Ah okay, so that's where I've seen you before."

"Yep - good game, by the way."

"Oh, thanks."

"Think it's your turn," Marina pointed out, nodding her head towards the printer. 

Jim gave her a quick smile before stepping forward and entering his print code onto the screen, assuming their interaction had ended. As he collected his printing and hit the little green ‘logout' button on the printer screen, he turned and raised a hand in goodbye.

Before Jim could turn and leave, Marina quickly asked, "Hey, can I get this thing to staple the copy I'm making?"

"Umm... yeah, it's under the little ‘more options' button." 

Focusing on the little screen for a moment, Marina furrowed her brow as she located the staple options and worked out which option she needed, mumbling "how the fuck should I know if I've put it in landscape or portrait?!" under her breath. Once done, she jabbed at the ‘start' button and nodded approvingly when she heard the machine start its job, the pages coming out the right way round. "Ugh, so handy! Thanks, Jim." 

"No problem," Jim shrugged. He shifted his weight awkwardly, trying to work out if he was free to leave now. Just as he decided it had been a long enough pause to reasonably say goodbye, having stood for a while watching the copy tray feed each page in and out, Marina pointed at him. 

"You off to class?" 

"No, just... meeting my friend to go study," Jim shrugged. 

"Well if you want, I'm about to go meet Pam for a mid-study coffee break," Marina said, lifting a brow at Jim as she began removing the original papers from the tray, "and you're welcome to join us."

"Umm..." Jim looked at Marina for a moment - her emphasis on Pam's name and her slight smirk seemed suspicious, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Surely she wasn't that good a mind reader and the way he felt drawn to Pam wasn't that obvious? Even so, he was in no rush to decline such an invite. "Sure, sounds good." 

"Obviously, your friend is more than welcome to join us," Marina said as she moved away from the printer, awkwardly holding her originals in one hand and copies in the other. "Can I meet you back here in like two minutes? I just need to give the original copy back to my friend and log out the computer." 

"Sure, I'm just gonna grab my bag." 

Ten minutes later, Jim had discovered that Marina was a Psychology student (which slightly surprised him), Pam liked a sprinkle of cinnamon in her coffee, and Mark suddenly had more game than he'd ever known him to have. Two minutes after being introduced, Mark and Marina had gone to get pastries and had perched on a couple of seats at the end of the coffee bar.  

"I can't believe they've just abandoned us," Jim chuckled.  

"I know," Pam rolled her eyes in Marina's direction.  

"They'll have to come back here to get their stuff anyway," Jim pointed out before tipping back the final drops of his coffee. 

"Yeah," Pam nodded.

Jim smiled to himself as he put his napkin into his now empty coffee cup and put the lid back on. He'd realised that often when he spoke to Pam, there'd be a moment when she would go shy and awkward, and he found it adorable. Her cheeks would tinge pink and she'd either stumble over her words or go really quiet, like she had now. The still-basically-a-teenager part of his brain was giggling that it was because she liked him; the I'm-a-college-student-now part of his brain was saying she was just someone who got shy easily. It was very easy for both parts of his brain to ignore the fact that she had a boyfriend.

"So what kind of stuff does an art student do in a library?" Jim asked, not because he couldn't figure the basic answer out for himself, but to give Pam a prompt.

Instantly, Pam's eyes lit up. "Oh, well, usually it's stuff for art history, reading about artists, or to learn about the time period a work was completed in - that kinda stuff. At the moment I'm analysing the works of this artist and seeing what might have influenced them. Like... if I painted you in this coffee shop right now, I could decide to give the walls a funky design, or I could make it look like it's the apocalypse. So in fifty years they might think, why? What was going on in my life for me to make that artistic decision? Does it reflect the state of the world I'm in? Is it consistent with all my other paintings?" 

"So what kind of background would you do for such a painting?" Jim asked with a grin.

"Probably something kinda simple and realistic, but with big pops of color and abstract shapes here and there," Pam answered easily as she played with her napkin.

Where's Marina's psychology thoughts when you need them? Jim thought to himself. "I still haven't seen that painting you told me about before." 

"Oh - yeah," Pam blushed again as her head shot up to look at him properly. He could tell she was surprised he'd brought it up again, and hoped he wasn't asking her to share the original art if she wasn't comfortable with it. "I keep forgetting about that." 

"I'm just gonna put these in the trash," Jim picked up their empty coffee cups and stood, figuring it would give Pam a few seconds to herself to think and change the subject if she wanted to. She gave him a small smile as he left the table, and he walked slowly to the station that housed the bins. He emptied the napkins and lids into the regular bin before putting the cups into the recycling container. Jim paused and watched Mark and Marina laugh about something, their pastries only half eaten, before making his way back to where Pam was sitting. 

"I can show you the sketch and the painting now, if you want," Pam said the moment he arrived at the table, fiddling with the sleeves of her gray knitted cardigan. 

"Wh- really?" Jim's brows raised in surprise. 

"Yeah, if you still want to?" Pam bit her lip, and Jim could see the shyness trying to sneak back in and take over.

"Of course!"

"My folder is in one of the art studios though, if you don't mind going all the way over there?" 

"Not at all - I've actually never been to the art block." 

"Smells like paint," Pam shrugged. "I'm just gonna let Marina know we're going." 

As Pam went and told Marina that she was off to the art block with Jim so wouldn't be going to study in her dorm as they'd planned (receiving a wide grin from Marina in response, which Pam rolled her eyes at and whispered a sharp "shut up!"), Jim told Mark he wasn't going to be heading back to the library and received a smirk and slap on the back. 

On their walk to the art block Jim told Pam about the paper he was writing and that he was very much behind on it but would write it at 9pm on Sunday evening, ready to submit for the 11am Monday deadline. Pam told Jim about the research she was doing for her required Art History course, and that there was a weird balance between boring and interesting when it came to world art before 1400. 

"So... this is where I spend most of my time," Pam gestured at the building in front of them with both hands as they walked. "My stuff is upstairs so... I can do a kinda mini tour along the way if you want?"

"Yeah," Jim grinned. If it meant spending more time with Pam, he was all for it. "Sounds good."

Pam smiled to herself as she opened the main doors. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she was trying to focus more on her relationship with Roy, and less on Jim - and this was one of those times. She felt giddy at the prospect of showing Jim into her artistic world; not just show him some of her work but this big part of her life where she spent so much of her time. A part of her life that mattered to her in ways that she could only express through her artwork. 

Pam showed Jim around a few of the rooms on the ground floor, explaining what class went on in each space. Through this Jim found out that Pam had just signed up to take a class called ‘Intro to Clay' next semester and she was excited to try something new. She showed Jim a piece of her work which was displayed on one of the boards that she had worked on for her Contemporary Art class and found herself blushing intensely when he refused to continue the tour because he wanted to spend more time looking at it. He looked entirely enthralled and for a moment Pam's world consisted of only her, Jim, and the way his amazement at her art made her feel. 

That was until someone came up to Pam, pulling them out of their moment. 

"Pam, hey - I've just been to the dark room, I think your photos are ready. They look awesome, by the way."

"Oh, umm, thanks Anna," Pam smiled. It had been on her list of things to do after her study session with Marina, though admittedly since Jim had come along for coffee it had slipped her mind. And who could blame her when his hair looked all cute and messy from study boredom? "I'll check them before I go."

Jim grinned and waited for Pam to exchange a quick goodbye with Anna before turning to her. "Is the dark room part of the tour?" 

"Yes, since I need to sort my photos, it is part of the tour," Pam smiled. "Ready?"

Taking a final glance at the display with Pam's art, Jim nodded. "Okay." 

Jim particularly enjoyed the photography studio, fascinated by the variety of equipment available. He shared that his dad had a camera he always brought with him on trips and holidays, joking that he fancied himself an amateur landscape photographer. He showed Pam a couple of photos his dad had taken on his phone, and Pam had to admit they were very good, even with the quality lowered from being on Jim's phone. 

The highlight, Pam first thought, was when they got to the drawing studios. She automatically lit up showing him around. She showed Jim her favorite space to sit in one of the studios, and talked through the current course content as they walked around. Jim sat at Pam's favorite spot as she went to rifle through a storage area at the back where students kept their portfolios when they weren't working on them outside the studios. 

When Pam returned into the main studio area, her portfolio tucked under her arm, she couldn't help the grin on her face. Jim looked so comfortable, so relaxed, sitting in her favorite spot; the afternoon light coming through the large windows highlighting his profile perfectly. He had his chin in his left hand as his right hand drummed lazily on the table, one foot resting on the lower bar of the stool he was sat on, the other on the floor. Pam let the mental image sink in, trying to memorise it to draw later. 

She knew she couldn't stare at him like this forever, tempting as it was. 

"Well, here it is," Pam announced as she walked over to Jim, sitting down next to him and putting her black A3 portfolio case on the table. "The moment you've been waiting for."

"It's so cool that you have one of these," Jim gestured to the portfolio case that Pam was now unzipping. "So cool and artsy." 

"Oh... thanks," Pam smiled shyly as she flipped the portfolio cover open. Roy always said it made her look all ‘artsy fartsy' which was funny once when she was seventeen, but not so much after that when his intention was teasing her about it. 

"I always thought you'd have a clear portfolio though. I dunno why," Jim shrugged, watching as Pam ran her fingers back and forth over the front of the large sketchbook at the top of her portfolio case. 

"Oh, I have one of those too, it's in my dorm. These black case ones are a bit sturdier for keeping stuff safe though," Pam explained, blushing a little at the knowledge that at some point since meeting her - even if it was just today - Jim had imagined her with an art portfolio - even the specifics of the portfolio. "So... do you wanna see the original drawing-drawing' first-" she put air quotes around ‘drawing-drawing', a slight smirk on her face at her use of his words from their first proper conversation at Diners, "or the watercolor?"  

"Hmm," Jim drummed his fingers on his chin thoughtfully. "Drawing-drawing first, please."

"Mm'kay," Pam grinned. She had thought she'd be nervous, but now she was just excited to share her drawing with Jim. It was her favorite piece she'd worked on; it was a little window into her soul and she'd really spent a lot of time on all the details. She angled the sketchbook toward herself so Jim couldn't fully see the works she flipped through, biting her lip once she got to the page she was searching for. She looked up at Jim, eyes sparkling and brows raised, before flipping the sketchbook open fully and turning it towards him. 

"Oh my God, Beesly!" Jim exclaimed in awe. He gaped at the drawing for a while, eyes taking in all the details. The woman in the picture was clearly Pam, though she was facing away - he could tell from the hair; Pam had clearly spent time getting the curls and waves just right to match her own hair. He took in all the details of the terrace - the grain in the wooden panels, the flowers in the windowsill planters, the mismatched cushions on the bench against the wall. "The detail is amazing. You can tell from how you've drawn her dress that there's a little breeze - and I love that there's even a book on the bench."

"That was my little nod to the book that inspired the whole terrace dream," Pam smiled. She flipped carefully to the plastic sleeve that held the watercolor version of the drawing and slid it over to Jim so he could see them both side-by-side. "That's the painted version."

"Wow," Jim leaned in closer to take in the details of the watercolor. "Look at that. I knew those cushions were yellow and pink!"

"Shut up, you did not," Pam nudged Jim with her elbow. 

"I did! The pattern just felt... yellow and pink," Jim shrugged. "Pam, these are awesome. The iPad one is cool... but I feel like with these you really feel a connection with what you felt when you drew them." 

Pam put her chin in her hands, mainly to use her fingers to hide the blush she felt creeping onto her cheeks. It was a very new experience for someone to really appreciate her art and take the time to understand it. Her family and close friends had a very different relationship with her art; not only did they generally like her art unconditionally but they knew Pam in their own ways and often understood her process. Roy's understanding of Pam's art - any art, really - was appreciative but superficial. Pam could only utter out a quiet "thank you," and throw Jim a sideways glance, glad he was still looking at the pieces in front of him. 

Finally, Jim looked up from the drawing and painting in front of him to look at Pam. "I think my favorite thing is that you've included the book, but only you know what book it actually is." 

"Yeah," Pam grinned as she flipped to the front of the portfolio, gesturing for Jim to close the sketchbook and hand it to her, "I like that people get that from both pieces. I don't think it's as obvious in the digital one."

"I don't think I noticed the book in that one," Jim said, watching as Pam zipped her portfolio closed.

"Kind of like when they do movie remakes. You lose a bit of the original," Pam shrugged and stood up, pulling the portfolio with her.

Once Pam put her portfolio away, they headed to the dark room. Photography - especially light boxes and the developing process - was new to Pam, so she was a little nervous about showing Jim these. She explained that she'd called her concept ‘360', using a central point in her garden to capture multiple photographs in a circle. She'd had her sister Penny and Isabel enjoying sodas on a picnic blanket, her mom and Aunt Camilla reading in sun loungers, and her dad and Uncle Thomas teaching her cousin Joe to swing a baseball bat.

"The negatives looked kinda cool, and now they're dry it'll be fun to see properly how natural light from different angles affected the exposure," Pam said as she opened the first door to the dark room.

"Who knew in the age of having cameras on our phones, negatives would still be a thing," Jim chuckled. 

Pam let them into the dark room, and Jim took a second to let his senses adjust. There was a lingering smell from the developer, and aside from the red light it was - as the name of the room implied - dark. He followed Pam, catching glimpses of developed photos hanging to dry. 

Stopping at her section, Pam reached up to gently check each of her developed photos, taking down the ones that were ready to use and handing them to Jim. He could identify the people in them from what Pam had explained. "It's so trippy knowing these are taken as a 360... but we don't see them like that?" 

"So when I show them, they'll be hanging in a circle to be at my eye level, and you have to stand in the middle. I dunno, I might enlarge them I think." 

As Jim looked back through the photos, leaning against the table in the middle of the room, Pam simply stood and watched him. It was a small room so they were in close proximity, and her eyes were drawn to the small smile on his lips. She was grateful for the dark as she suddenly felt herself blushing again and her heart rate speed up. Pulling up the sleeves of her cardigan, Pam allowed her eyes to wander over Jim's form. His grey sweatshirt was loose on him, but the way his arms were positioned as he held the photos close to his face reminded her of the biceps she'd seen at his basketball game. She shoved her hands behind her back, linking her fingers, worried she would act on her sudden temptation to run her hands up his arms. His jeans were definitely too baggy for him (stop staring at his pants, that's so creepy, Pam had to remind herself), and his black Adidas sneakers were scuffed, but somehow it worked. Pam had to admit to herself in that moment that she was most definitely attracted to Jim Halpert. 

"It'll look cool in a circle," Jim held the photos out to Pam. "A Beesly 360." 

"What - yeah, umm, okay," Pam took the photos from Jim a little too quickly, "thanks." 

* 

@ordinarydoodles

College is a time we start to see ourselves and others in a new light. It can be so exciting... but also kinda terrifying. 

Pam found herself scrolling through the comments of her latest post at 3am, having woken ten minutes ago from a dream that both ended too soon and not soon enough. Her dream self had been back in the dark room with Jim, only with a significantly more romantic element where they had almost, almost kissed. Her body craved more, but a quick reminder that she shared a room with Angela had prompted her to take a deep, calming breath.

@princesskelly_k omg totally!!!! <3 xxx

@mariamj42 its totally scary!! where is that view tho - gorgeous!!

@_sheridan_sheffield yea that's how ended up dating my high school bestie :) @cameronnn01johnson

         @cameronnn01johnson :)

@averagej03 kinda nice to no not just me

@eva_carlsson_98 where on campus is this?! totally feel this tho, they don't tell u about this kinda stuff before you start college! 

Smiling to herself, Pam scrolled back up to the doodle she had uploaded. She had wanted to include Jim's side profile, but it would give far too much away. Instead, she had simply drawn the view out the window from her favorite spot in the art studio and the way the light had illuminated the space around Jim. She didn't include any features of the art room to keep the location unassuming enough for anyone who didn't use the art studio. Pam figured people would probably assume the owner of the account was an art student of some sort anyway, but she liked to leave as few clues as possible.

Liking each of the comments, Pam switched back to her personal account and exited the app. It was good to know she wasn't alone in this feeling, though it was still scary. Part of her felt like she should accept that she'd reflected all she needed on her relationship with Roy, but it was also all she knew. She had been with him since high school, had come to the college with him. She knew it was ridiculous, but she wasn't sure if she really knew who she was on her own anymore. 

But maybe that was what college was for? She had Isabel, she had Marina... Angela too, she supposed. With a smile, Pam figured she also had Jim.