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Story Notes:
I fully blame John Mayer's "Dreaming with a Broken Heart" for this story and the lyrics are in this story.



I had put this up previously for a while, but needed some help with my grammar, so it's back in all it's glory, hopefully correct now!



Also many thanks to the amazing and lovely peskipiksi for her awesome skills in beta-ing!


Sadly, I own nothing from the Office, but oh the possibilities if I did...... sorry, what was I saying?



Jim has never liked mornings. Everyone says that mornings bring about promise for things to come, new beginnings. But Jim has learned from experience that mornings only bring him disappointment. It seems as though every morning everything becomes clearer.


He never was going to get anywhere with the one thing he truly needed: Pam.

His bed and dreams are his comfort from the world. He can go to his bed and dream about his life with Pam. He can live in a place where Roy doesn’t exist. A world where she loves him and he treats her like she deserves to be treated and they are happy together.

But in the morning, he wakes from his dreams. Only to be faced with the harsh reality that none of the situations are real. He is forced to live for stolen glances and awkward silences. He soon begins to dread waking up because of the cold, empty feeling it leaves deep in his soul.

******************************

Jim walks into his room. He feels exhausted and doesn’t have the energy, emotionally or physically to do anything and collapses into bed. He still can’t believe that that night had happened. His confession, their kiss. “I can’t.” It had been a few weeks ago, but in that one moment it had seemed that everything had aligned and was right in the world. But with those two stupid words, his world had come crashing down
.

He doesn’t even know what day it is or what he does at work. She hasn’t been at work, which has made it even harder for him. He is forced to imagine ways that things could’ve changed on that one night. But it doesn’t change.


He doesn't change out of his clothes for bed anymore. He simply goes home and curls into the bed, hoping to get some sort of happiness.
But now not even his dreams can give him comfort. Every time, Jim lies awake until he finally succumbs to pure exhaustion and closes his eyes.

******************************
When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part


******************************

“Jim”

Jim hears a voice and feels a puff of soft breath just below his ear.

Mark?

He feels a small and ever-so-soft hand rub from his ear and down across his jaw line.

Why is Mark touching me?

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and the person that is before him comes into focus.

Pam?

Her hair is down and she’s smiling shyly at him and he thinks he’s in heaven. An angel. I must be dreaming still.

“What are you doing here, Pam?”

He grins inwardly at the closeness of her. His mind is racing and tries to focus on one thing but can’t. Jim is lying on his side and Pam is lying next to him in bed. Her hands are on his cheeks, body flush with his. Her nearness is having an effect on him.

She smiles wistfully and moves her mouth closer to his face, leaving next to no room between them.

“What do you think, Halpert?” she whispers just before she gently closes the gap between their lips.

******************************

Pam pushes her hands into Jim’s tousled hair. She presses her lips next to Jim’s and gets pulled into a deep, long kiss. His hands run up her sides and leaves goose bumps on her skin. He sucks on her bottom lip and she moans in the back of her throat.

Reluctantly, Jim pulls away. “Pam, what happened with Roy?” He just can’t do this,
knowing that someone else is out there waiting at home for her. Their home.

She looks into his eyes, seeing that they are now moist and glistening.

“That night… Roy told me that Kevin was going to play at our wedding. Because it
would be “funny” after a few beers. Funny. Our wedding should not have been funny. I just got fed up with everything and we got into this huge fight and we decided we needed to be apart. We just don’t fit together anymore. There wasn’t really one big reason why we broke up. More like, just a bunch of little ones.”

Jim grimly recalls all the memories of the times when Pam would confide in him about her fights with Roy.

“Jim, I realized a long time ago that Roy & I weren‘t getting along. We‘ve been having fights a lot, about little things. Things that never used to matter. But then I realized, that those things did matter, to me. Roy never supported me or listened to me. Not like you do. Jim, I guess what I‘m trying to say is that I am in love with you. I’m sorry about what happened at the office, but I was scared. I still am. This is so new and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. But I do know this: I’m yours. Please tell me I haven’t missed my chance. ”

Her eyes are searching his for a response.

This is all it takes for Jim. He flips himself so that he is hovering over her, held up only by his forearms resting on his bed. His head hungrily reaches down, searching for her lips. He feels her gently make a noise and his muscles tighten. Her hands splay across his back muscles, aching to pull him closer to her.

The pair roll to their sides and kiss passionately, as if there is no tomorrow. Their hands run along each other, discovering new contours. Jim finds that Pam is slightly ticklish whenever he hits that one spot on her side. Pam realizes that Jim smiles against her mouth when she gently massages his lower back.

After what seems like forever, Pam softly asks, “So, you never answered my question, am I too late?”

He looks down her, with an expression on his face that clearly says, Yeah, right. Like you have to ask. He sees the genuine need for a response in her eyes and proclaims,

“Pam, there’s no way I could ever find another you.”

******************************


Pam and Jim lie in his bed, not noticing or paying attention to anything but each other. They are just giggling, sighing, kissing, and lying in wonderment of what’s happened.

It’s as though everything is finally right in the world. Jim kisses Pam as if there is no tomorrow and is thoroughly enjoying the time just by being by her. His kisses start to get a bit sloppy and his eyes are starting to close when she says, “I’m sorry, am I boring you, Halpert?” with a sense of teasing in her low voice.

“Yep, are you done here?” Jim says lazily, half asleep. She laughs quietly and cuddles up to him. He lays on his back and motions for her to get closer. He grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers and rests it over his heart, while his other arm pulls her into his side. She guides her head onto his shoulder and closes her eyes. “Will you stay?” he whispers into the darkness of his room. “Because I don’t think I could handle it if this wasn’t real.”

“Jim, I’m not going anywhere. Sleep—we have a lifetime ahead of us.”

******************************

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with your crying eyes

Wondering could you stay my love?

Will you wake up by my side?


******************************



Jim awakens and groggily wipes his eyes. Pam. The events of last night flash through his mind. All of a sudden, Jim feels wide-awake. He opens his eyes, only to find an empty bed. No Pam. Just Jim.

Worry washes over him, like a cold shower. Did that really happen? Was she really
here? Try to remember Halpert. You got home and went to bed. Could it have been a
dream? But it felt so real and true.
Jim rubs his lips and cheeks, still able to feel where she had kissed and touched him. That couldn’t have been a dream… I think I would die of a broken heart, right here and now.

Experiencing that feeling of true bliss and contentment, only to have it snatched away is just too much for Jim to comprehend. He jumps out of bed, flying out of his room. His vision becomes blurry and he finds it hard to look around his house for any sign of Pam. Something, please God, anything to prove that it wasn’t just a dream. He looks into each room: the bathroom, the living room, Mark’s bedroom, and the dining room.

Nothing.

Jim gives up his search, and collapses against the door to the kitchen. She wasn’t here. It was just a dream. A wonderful dream, but not reality. Quiet tears fall down his face and he swears he can smell Pam’s perfume on his sweater from last night.

Too often has he awoken from his wonderful, Pam-filled fantasies, only to have harsh reality set in; but this one is different. Everything about last night felt so true and real. Pam’s tiny body pressed against his while her soft, gentle lips caressed his. God. But it wasn’t. He bites his cheek so hard he tastes blood. The tears of regret, anger, and loss are flowing more harshly and freely now.

Clank.

He opens his moist eyelids at the loud sound that comes from the kitchen behind him.


Was Mark here? He said he was going out of town for the weekend. Did someone break
in? How long have I been lying here?


Clank.

Jim is sure he hears it this time. Louder than the last time. What the hell? Anger surging through him, he swings open the kitchen door.

******************************

You roll outta bed and down on your knees

And for the moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering, was she really here?

Is she standing in my room?

No, she’s not, cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone


******************************

Jim falls to his knees as he realizes who is rummaging through his kitchen.

“Pam,” he barely chokes out.

Pam turns around at the sound of Jim. She smiles at him, but her smile fades when she sees the look on his face.

Pam is standing by the stove in his kitchen, wearing a pair of old red flannel pajamas and a white tank-top that Jim instantly realizes are his. Her hair is pulled up in a loose bun at the top of her head.

He can’t believe it. It was real. It really happened. He wasn’t torturing himself with her, she really chose him. He stands up, still a little shaky, and walks towards her.

“I…. Wow,” Jim utters.

“Sorry about the noise.” She sighs, frustrated as the pullsout a frying pan. “But you need to organize your pots and pans better.”

“I’ll make a mental note,” he says, still breathless from her existence. He takes a step towards her, and notices she is looking at him with worried eyes. “Is something wrong?”

She takes a moment to reply. “When you walked in, it was like you were surprised to see me. Did I do something wrong last night?” She bites her lip, and he comes even closer to her.

“Not a chance, Beesley,” he says. He pulls her into a giant hug and pushes his lips onto hers, feeling the same excitement as every other time they had kissed. “You’re perfect.”

She rolls her eyes, and grabs the eggs off the counter. She cracks them onto the pan, and they sizzle as they touch the heat. “You okay with fried hard?” He nods, and she grabs a spatula. After a few minutes, the eggs are cooked, and she puts them on a plate.

“Let’s forget about breakfast,” he says playfully and grabs her hand. “We have to plan our next prank. I don’t think it can wait for eggs.”

She giggles at him, and nods as they sit down at the couch in the living room. They both soon realize they won’t be spending a minute plotting their pranks, but they also realize there’s no where else they’d rather be.

******************************

After that morning, Jim slowly begins to change his opinions on mornings. Pam stays that morning and subsequently many days to follow after that. He sleeps at her place at times and she sleeps at his. He finds that sleeping is becoming a treat for him, being able to fall asleep with his love in his arms, knowing that she’s not going anywhere. Jim realizes that when your dreams become reality, that waking up is the best part.

******************************





WildBerryJam is the author of 18 other stories.
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