Like every other weeknight, Pam walked into her empty apartment and dropped her purse by the door. She turned on the kitchen lights and quickly rummaged in her cupboard for a clean wine glass before grabbing a Lean Cuisine out of her freezer and throwing it in the microwave. Wonderful, she thought. It's a Friday night and I'm home alone with some macaroni and cheese and a bottle of Pinot.
As she grabbed the white wine from the counter, she noticed the light flashing on her answering machine. "Please, machine, don't let it be Roy drunk dialing me," she pleaded out loud before cautiously pressing the button.
"Beesly! It's Liz. It's Friday afternoon and...Jane! Stop eating that! Apparently, my daughter can't stop eating dirt from the potted fern long enough for me to make a phone call. Anyway, Fitz is on a weekend writers' retreat somewhere and I'm going to be bored out of my mind tonight. Please call. You know, if you don't have a hot date or something because I can totally understand if you blow me off for some art boy or...Jane! I have to go. Call me!"
Pam smiled as she heard the microwave beep. She grabbed the plastic tray of mac and cheese and set it down on her kitchen table next to her glass, thinking about all the things she had to tell Liz since they last talked a few weeks ago.
Liz Bennett was totally awesome in Pam's mind. They met in Pam's first class at Marywood University almost ten years ago now. It was a boring political science class that was required of all students and by the end of the first session, she and Liz had struck up a friendship in the back of the room making fun of the professor. The next day, they showed up in the same art history class -- Liz ended up being an art history major while Pam took it get more knowledge for her painting classes.
Since then, they had been through a lot together, especially sophomore year when things really changed for the both of them. Roy was working for Dunder Mifflin and he and Pam decided they wanted to buy a house, which meant Pam had to drop out of school to work. Liz, meanwhile, got bored one night and went to a local book reading where she met another Marywood student. The next day, she described him to Pam as "cute, but nothing special." In fact, Fitzwilliam Darcy, or Fitz as his friends called him, was a bit of a pretentious writer type and Liz wanted only a little to do with him. But he asked her out on a few dates and she took a chance by saying yes. They didn't go very well and, as a last ditch effort to win her heart and change her negative perception of him, Fitz wrote her an amazing letter that even Pam still remembers to this day.
The letter worked. Liz and Fitz's wedding was in Philly at a gorgeous Gothic church with the reception in an amazing hotel ballroom downtown. It was just such a beautiful night that was only made better when Roy took full advantage of the open bar and passed out in the hotel room while Pam was downstairs having a great time with her friends without him. Roy could be such as ass sometimes, but unlike Fitz, he never tried to redeem himself. He just assumed that it was OK to be the requisite drunk at weddings...and funerals...and happy hours down at Poor Richard's while Pam was his baby-sitter.
It's amazing how our lives have changed since we met, Pam thought as she dialed Liz's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Pam!"
"Pam! Oh, thank God you called! If I didn't have a chance to talk to you tonight, I would have gone to bed with the Teletubbies theme stuck in my head," Liz explained.
"So I take it Jane's asleep now?" Pam asked.
"Finally. You would think that if I named her after my sweet, quiet sister that she could have picked up the same traits."
"Maybe it's just the Terrible Twos or something," Pam tried to say soothingly. "Even though she's not two yet."
She could hear Liz's laugh on the other end. "Better than nothing," Liz said. "So how are things?"
Pam explained the whole situation with Roy and how it was officially over, the whole thing with Jim and the fact that he was still dating that girl that followed him from Connecticut. On the other end, Liz talked about her daughter, her husband, and all those times she thought she was raising two kids instead of one.
"I love my family, don't get me wrong, but I keep trying to explain to Fitz that just because he's writing novels in his spare time doesn't mean he has to use all of his spare time just for that," Liz explained.
"That sounds familiar," Pam said. "Even when I tried dating Roy again, his spare time was spent with his brother instead of me. I mean, that guy went on, like, half our dates with us!"
"And how many dates was that?"
"Um...three including my art show and the happy hour when I dumped him."
"That sounds...annoying. Hey, speaking of which though, how was the art show?"
Horrible. "It was OK," Pam lied. "Roy and his brother left after wandering around for five minutes so that was good.."
"Typical Roy," Liz said sarcastically.
"Yeah. Like I said, I dumped him."
"Which I'm so happy about! Although you know how I feel about Roy."
"The same way I do," Pam responded. "He's an ass."
"And you deserve better."
Pam scoffed a little as she poured herself another glass of wine. "Yeah, I know. Speaking of which, Jim never showed. It may have partially been my fault for not directly inviting him, but I sent an email to people in the office -- including him -- and he never responded. He hasn't even said anything since or even asked how it was!"
"Was he with that Karen girl that night?"
"I guess. I don't even know. Maybe she talked him into not going or he just forgot or something."
"I'm so sorry, Pam," Liz said, sounding almost as heartbroken as her friend.
"I dunno, Liz. At times, I feel like I'm making these steps forward and then there are other times where I just feel like I'm trying to hang on to keep myself from sliding down a steep hill."
"I would say that Roy was indeed like sliding down a steep hill," Liz said."Pam, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think the biggest obstacle in your life right now is Jim. You need to say something to him.
"Liz, I tried flirting with him by talking about REM cycles."
"Wow. You have been out of the game for awhile, haven't you?" Liz said, a bit of a laugh in her voice. "But seriously, you need to have a real conversation with Jim about how you feel. You need get it all out there in the open."
"But I can't find the words when I'm around him. Talking is just not a good idea right now."
"Then write him a letter."
Pam couldn't help but laugh at that suggestion. "A letter? Just because Fitz wrote you the most amazing of all amazing letters doesn't mean I can do the same thing."
"It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?"
"Yes, it was."
"But writing is really a great way to get those thoughts out of your brain by putting them on a piece of paper. It makes your thoughts more concrete and all those things you want to say you can say without having them get muddled as they come out of your mouth."
"Maybe I'll write something and then decide."
"That would be a good start. In the meantime, I still have Fitz's letter in my desk drawer upstairs. I could easily fax it over from Kinko's on my way to the grocery store Monday morning."
"Wow. You would fit me in before the grocery store?" Pam said teasingly.
"It would be the highlight of my day."
"What if you don't fax it over? What would the highlight of your day be then?"
She heard a slight pause on the line. "Um...teaching my daughter to beat up that obnoxious three-year-old at our playgroup who keeps putting sand in her diaper."
Pam laughed. "Well, if faxing it over makes you feel better..."
"It will." Liz's reply sounded sincere and genuine. "Pam, you just...you deserve to be happy and if this is what it takes to get you on that path, then I'll do what I can, OK?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Pam, listen to me," Liz said. "There were so many times I heard you tell me about all the stupid things that Roy did over the years, and there were so many times I heard you tell me all those great stories about Jim. You know Roy won't work for you because you've tried that -- twice -- and it's failed twice. You deserve to be happy or, at least, happier than you were with Roy. Maybe in the end, it won't work out with Jim, but you have to at least go for it and see what happens."
"But what if a letter doesn't change anything?" Pam asked quietly.
"At least you tried. You owe that to yourself," Liz said as a quiet fell between the two friends for a few seconds. "So on that note," Liz said sarcastically, "I'm digging out the letter to fax it to you on Monday, OK?"
"OK," Pam told her.
"And I'm headed to sleep. Between a daughter and a few glasses of wine, I can't stay up past 11 o'clock anymore."
Pam laughed. "You're getting old."
"I resemble that comment!" Liz retorted. "Alright, Beesly. Take care."
"You too."
"And really, Pam? Promise me that you'll at least try to take a step forward with Jim, OK?"
"Yeah."
"No matter the outcome, it'll be worth it."
"I know," Pam told her, but she wasn't really sure if that was true.
"Alright then. Get some sleep, Pam."
"'Night, Liz."
Pam hung up the phone and took in the quiet of her apartment. She took the empty glass and wine bottle to the sink and walked to her bedroom She put on her warm penguin pajamas and crawled under the flannel sheets of her bed. There were times when she liked that it was just her in this quiet apartment and as she lay in bed, alone with her thoughts, she was happy this was one of them.
Story Notes:
I love Pride and Prejudice so I had to do something about it. How could I not? So here's my attempt at a P&P/Office crossover. It's a little nerve-wracking since I know there are others who love it just as much so I hope I did this justice. Oh, and a little shout out to my friend Stacy who made me give this book a second chance in the first place.
I had three amazing, amazing, AMAZING betas for this, so thanks to fireworkfiasco, peskipiksi, and xoxoxo for telling me it's better than I thought it was. :)
Oh, and I own...well, I do own things, but I don't own any Office characters, any Pride and Prejudice characters, or any of the tv stations/book publishers associated with such.
