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Story Notes:
Bad Fanfic Challenge entry.
We enter the scene as Karen is smothering Jim with her multiple tentacles of boringness. The whole office is aghast at what is going on. "Jim was so interesting last year, so sad to see this happen to him," cried Kelly.

"Don't worry," said Creed, mung beanly. "I turned on the Don't Call Me Pammy signal on the roof."

"The DCMP signal? Wow!" said Angela, kind of cutely but kind of uptightly as well, with a glaze of shortness.

"Hands off my Jim." Pam appeared in the doorway, with a black cape and a raised saber.

Kevin stared and exclaimed accountantly, "It's DCMP!"

"Never!" spat Karen, much like a three ring binder would, raising a big, sharp number two pencil to fend off Pam.

"My old self might have run from your number two pencil," said Pam, with the je ne sais quois of freshly mowed snow. "And cried some, to be honest. But now I am DCMP and fearless."

"Bah, then we will fight to the death." Karen exclaimed with all the personality she could muster, for a character that hasn't been fleshed out by the writers.

Pam and Karen circled each other, their number two pencil and saber clashing now and then as they sized each other up. Jim took the time to make his hair more perfect, a strand had fallen out of place.

Karen slashed at Pam, in a corporate way. Pam dodged it with the fawn-like gentle style she has. Then DCMP lunged forward and with the dewy perfection of a sunrise over a garden, knocked the number two pencil from Karen's grasp and pinned her to the floor.

"Just let me know when it's my turn to do something," Jim said, polishing up his fingernails as he does every hour to maintain his manicure. "I haven't been used much this season and would appreciate another line or two."

"Hold on a second," said Karen, in a businesslike way. She then said something sincere to a supporting character. "I have to do that every fifteen minutes, they say it's part of my charm."

"I understand," said Pam, cutely, like a puppy but with added cuteness. "But now you must go, leave and begone, never to come back."

"Not the chocolate river! Anything but that!" Karen cried like a manila folder but it was to no avail. DCMP was in full force and pushed her out the door at adorable saber point.

Pam ran over to Jim and hugged him in victory. Jim pointed at the red sash and bow around him. "I put a bow on me to emphasize that I'm the prize for the winner," he said big eared but covered up by flippy hairly.

Everyone in the office applauded and Pam drew a big P with her saber on the front of her receptionist desk, Zorro style.

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