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"I mean I don't think he's into me or anything, but I'm kind of into him."
 
She cringes as she hits A-B repeat and watches the same 7 seconds of footage over and over again. It's bad enough to watch yourself on tape. It's worse to realize you look like you have a silly schoolgirl crush on someone who's given you no sign he wants anything more than your friendship.
 
But still she misses those days when she first met him; first began to really notice him. Those days were full of promise. She had such high hopes when she moved to Scranton.
 
These days, she wishes she could capture that giddy feeling of possibility she used to revel in. As she watches the footage she sweet-talked out of Gary, the assistant producer, she realizes she'll never feel that way again.
 
She was reminded of her old college roommate. Liz used to fall in love with every emotionally unavailable guy she met. Married, engaged, living with a girl - if he was attached, Liz wanted him. She couldn't even count the number of hours she'd spent consoling Liz. Assuring her that she was a good person, she just had a soft spot for bastards. She loved Liz but she had promised herself a thousand times that she would never be that pathetic.
 
Promises were made to be broken, she thought.
 
It was hard to put her finger on it at first but he was different in Scranton. Those brief moments of doubt always disappeared though when he held her in his arms. He could melt her fears away with his kisses and the way he looked deep into her eyes. Even when he admitted he still had feelings for Pam, Karen latched onto his promise that there were just a couple of unresolved issues that he knew he could work through. Still, she was very happy when Pam started seeing that cute guy from the warehouse.
 
She was happy, that is until Pam broke up with Roy. Then Karen found out that Pam and Roy had been engaged and that it wasn't "just a kiss" and those unresolved issues were bigger than Jim had led her - and himself - to believe. Maybe it was the blow from Roy's fist that finally knocked some sense into Jim. Maybe it was that, in turn, which knocked some sense into Karen.
 
She stopped the DVD and ejected it from the player. She popped it into the storage box and carefully placed it in her purse.
 
As she threw two of Jim's T-shirts and one of his ties in the trash, she promised herself that this was the last time she would make a fool of herself over a guy. She tried to forget the fact that she had made that promise before.
 
She looked around the place she had called home for 6 months and sighed. She still had a lot of work to do.
 
The movers were coming in an hour.
 
 


Par5 is the author of 29 other stories.
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